Love Is Not My
Secret Love Silent: Just Like You
On the third day of my cold war with my boyfriend, I found a document called “Love of My Life” on his computer.
Every word is considered, and the heroine is his first love.
This is the first time that I have seen Jiang Zhe and her story from a bystander’s point of view.
From meeting, falling in love, falling passionately in love, quarreling, crying, and then separating.
Five years of love, two people love each other miserably, break up and make up, repeat the same mistakes countless times, and finally regret to find that they can not go back, leaving a deep-seated wound in their bones.
Jiang Zhe’s writing style is very good, the two people’s warm lingering and helpless pain, with words to maximize the expression.
A brilliant but regretful youth drama vividly emerges in front of us.
At this moment, I feel that I am the third party of their feelings.
Sour and astringent filled the whole abdominal cavity.
When I closed my eyes, my mind was full of Jiang Zhe, who was careful and tried his best to love his first love.
He knew that when a girl was angry, she had to be coaxed, and when there was a conflict, she had to be resolved, and the quarrel could not be overnight.
He knows better than anyone how to love someone.
But in the past two years with me, he let the contradiction ferment, did not respond, let me rise and fall in the swamp of cold violence. At
10 o’clock in the evening, Jiang Zhe finally came back.
I was sitting on the sofa in the living room.
Whenever he looked sideways at me, he would see my haggard face and swollen eyes.
But no, not at all. There was a lot of paper towels to wipe his nose on the
ground, and he stepped over as if he hadn’t seen it.
As usual during the cold war, he came back and got into the second bedroom to play games, then took a shower, came out and then brushed short videos and ate takeout. He didn’t give me a look
during the whole process. We were
in the same room, but at this moment I felt that we were very far away. Taking a
deep breath, I went over and sat beside him. “Jiang Zhe, let’s have a good talk.”
Jiang Zhe’s action of eating was sluggish, then he stood up without saying a word, pushed the takeout to the other side, and turned around to eat again.
Accompanied by the funny sound of the video, he chuckled happily.
I sat in the same place awkwardly.
Obviously he didn’t touch me with a finger, but I felt a burning pain in my face.
I went back to my room and took out Jiang Zhe’s computer, opened the document and put it in front of him.
Jiang Zhe stopped. After a long
silence, he frowned and looked at me. “Jiang Nian, this is all in the past, and I haven’t contacted her for more than three years. Isn’t that enough?”? What are you making a fuss about? When he
said this, his usual peaceful eyebrows and eyes rose with a heavy impatience.
At this moment, I suddenly felt that the person in front of me was very strange.
Two years ago, Jiang Zhe and I got to know each other in a blind date set up by our parents. We fell in love with each other and got together as a matter of course.
I always knew he had a first love for five years, but I didn’t care.
Because Jiang Zhe is so kind to me, gentle and romantic, affectionate details, it satisfies all my fantasies about my boyfriend and love.
But soon after we were together, I found Jiang Zhe’s problem. It’s okay not to quarrel
at ordinary times, but once a disagreement arises, no matter how wronged I am, how hysterical I am, and how I try to communicate, he will only say with a cold face, “Jiang Nian, you leave me alone.”
This quiet, less than a day or two, more than a week and a half months.
Then he came back as if nothing had happened and was as good to me as ever.
I broke down in pain and wanted to break up, but I was defeated by his gentleness again and again.
Cold violence doesn’t have any substantial wounds.
Like a tree rotting from its roots, it is still vigorous and flourishing outside, but no matter how much water and fertilizer you give it, it can only die day by day. Every effort
you make is in vain.
But you think it’s your fault that you didn’t work hard enough. For
two years, I have always believed that Jiang Zhe loves me, but he can’t communicate with me. It wasn’t
until I saw “The Love of My Life” that I realized how ridiculous I had been these past two years.
It’s not that he can’t love, it’s just that he doesn’t want to love me.
I broke up with Jiang Zhe.
He opened his mouth and finally didn’t say a word. The helplessness in the
eyes is like looking at a vexatious child. It wasn
‘t until I had packed my suitcase and opened the door that Jiang Zhe grabbed my wrist and said,
“Jiang Nian, can you stop making trouble? Who hasn’t clicked on it? Why are you holding on like this?”
I looked up into his eyes.
I don’t know if it’s a psychological effect. I used to like the way he looked at me, but now I feel that there is only indifference in it.
I wanted to break away from his hand, but Jiang Zhe was getting tighter and tighter.
Deadlocked. Good meeting.
I looked down at my wrist, and sure enough, it was already red.
“Jiang Zhe, if it were her, would you still ignore her pain and keep holding on regardless?”
When Jiang Zhe heard this, he stiffened and hurriedly let go.
He rubbed his eyebrows and looked helpless. “Jiang Nian, even if you want to go, you have to wait until dawn.” My
heart was clutched by a big hand and I couldn’t breathe. I avoided his sight and took a deep breath to relieve the suffocation.
“No.”
I don’t want to stay in this place full of his breath for a moment.
I took the suitcase and went into the night. The
late autumn night was very cold, and the cold wind penetrated into my coat.
I can’t help thinking of Jiang Zhe’s first love.
Five years ago, the girl named Bai Zhao quarreled with her boyfriend in the middle of the night and ran away from home.
She turned off her cell phone in a fit of pique and cried as she walked down the street, unable to figure out where she ended up. With only eight yuan
on her, she took the money to buy a baked sweet potato. In the
cold night wind, she held the sweet potato and ate it heartlessly.
However, before the sweet potatoes were finished, she was hugged into a warm and generous embrace.
She was pleasantly surprised. “Jiang Zhe, how did you find me?”
Jiang Zhe took off his overcoat and wrapped it tightly around her, his voice trembling. “Zhao Zhao, I promise this won’t happen again.”
Later, he quarreled with her and never argued again.
That night, it was recorded in the document that a boy ran half of the city in a pair of thin slippers to find his Zhaozhao.
Same night, same boyfriend.
Different circumstances. Compared with the five years of my first love,
my two years of no turning back are not worth mentioning.
Tears stick to the face and then be blown by the cold wind, it is really cold.
I reached out to wipe, but more and more.
It’s not that I have nowhere to go, but I’m just wandering the streets like a masochist.
But I didn’t expect that someone would come for me on such a cold night. When
Feng Yan finally stood in front of me, his body was covered with the chill of an autumn night, and the tips of his ears were red with cold, but he just squeezed his usual shy smile and said, “Jiang Nian, come home with me.”
I was surprised. “Why are you here?”
Jiang Zhe called Xi Xi and said that you had come out, and she was out of town, so she contacted me. I was worried, so I came out and tried to look for you, but I didn’t expect to meet you.
He said it lightly.
But my nose suddenly turned sour, and my tears were about to fall uncontrollably. How easy is it to find someone at night in
such a big city? “Why are you crying?”
Feng Yan finally said anxiously.
Just experienced the indifference of the bone, Feng Yan finally so concerned, I suddenly broke the defense, squatting on the ground, holding himself crying a snot and tears.
Feng Yan finally crouched down beside me. The 1.8-meter-tall man was in such a panic that he didn’t know how to swing his hands and feet. He mumbled for a long time before he said cautiously, “Jiang Nian, I can lend you a shoulder to lean on.” After a long
silence, I finally tilted my head and leaned on it.
I could clearly feel his heartbeat and stiff body, which almost jumped out of his chest.
I suddenly felt a little funny.
Twenty-five or six years old, how can you still be as innocent as a teenager?
Feng Yan finally took me back to his home by taxi.
I took a sip of ginger soup and watched Feng Yanzhong, who was busy taking care of my room, slowly settle down.
In fact, I knew Feng Yanzhong earlier than Jiang Zhe.
In high school, Feng Yanzhong was a typical science and engineering scholar, who only read sages’books, won awards of all sizes, and was a man of the hour in university. When he
was a sophomore, he expressed his love to me by drinking.
Shocked, I turned him down.
At that time, I was deeply influenced by youth dramas and liked the humorous and overbearing sunshine teenagers. The
dull and shy Feng Yanzhong is not up to my standard of choosing a spouse.
But Feng Yan is more stubborn than I imagined.
All these years, he stayed by my side in silence and never mentioned a word of love again. This is the first time I’ve ever
crossed the line of friendship tonight.
He hid his feelings too well, just as I didn’t understand why he liked me at that time, and now I can’t understand his feelings for me.
Feng Yen-chung tidied up his room and came out. I poured him a cup of ginger soup.
“Thank you, Feng Yen-chung. I’ll move out tomorrow when I find a house.”
He frowned imperceptibly and gulped down the ginger soup.
“No, you can stay here. I have a house nearby. I’ll live there.”
I thought about it and said to him, “I’ll pay you the market rent every month.”
He nodded. “That’s all right.”
Perhaps the sadness of adults is that no matter how much you cry about something yesterday, you still have to get up and be a corporate slave the next day.
Dazed for a whole day, I finally got off work and saw a familiar figure as soon as I got out of the elevator.
Jiang Zhe. Smiling as if nothing had happened,
he approached me and offered to take my arm. “Jiang Nian, let’s go home.”
I turned slightly sideways and dodged. My
colleagues smiled at each other and joked that the loving couple would quarrel one day and let Jiang Zhe go back to coax me.
Jiang Zhe looked at my face and answered repeatedly.
I was expressionless the whole time. It wasn’t
until my colleague had left that I said to him, “Jiang Zhe, we have broken up. Don’t come to my company anymore.”
Jiang Zhe’s body stiffened when he heard this.
Soon, however, he smiled and asked me, “Nian Nian, what do you want for lunch?”? I’ll do it for you.
I looked at him as if nothing had happened, and suddenly my mind came up with an incident that happened last winter.
At that time, my grandmother, who loved me the most, died suddenly, and I hurried back to my hometown. In addition to
grief, it also happened that Jiang Zhe and I had a cold war.
I turned to him for comfort, but when I saw that the last message WeChat was still on the “Can we communicate well” I had sent a week ago, I was left with a deep sense of powerlessness. On the third day after
Grandma’s funeral, I couldn’t resist making a video to Jiang Zhe.
When he was about to hang up, he picked it up. The
big screen shows not his face, but the kind of mobile phone flat on the desktop, he looked straight ahead, can only see the jaw line perspective, there is a faint sound of keyboard tapping.
I was stunned. “Jiang Zhe, what are you doing?”
He didn’t even look at me and went back, “Internet cafe, playing games.”
I did not speak at that time, but looked at him steadily for a long time.
Heartache is suffocating, I suddenly do not understand the meaning of this love.
That was the first time I broke up.
I made up my mind to make a clean break with Jiang Zhe, but a week later I took the high-speed rail back to school, struggling to lift my suitcase to the shelf above, my hand suddenly lightened, and someone behind me helped me lift it up.
I looked back and saw Jiang Zhe.
He held my favorite flower in his hand and smiled on his travel-stained face. “Jiang Nian, I finally found you.”
I was surprised. After all, this was my hometown, hundreds of kilometers away from the school. “What are you doing here?”
“I heard you were going back to school today, so I bought a ticket in advance and hurried back to accompany you.” In the most painful time,
people can not afford to refuse the light given by others.
At that moment, the whole world was blurred, only the gentle boy in front of him was magnified infinitely.
No matter how hard the stick hit me before, the sugar at that moment was really sweet to my heart.
So I chose to throw myself into his arms again.
But now I finally understand that Jiang Zhe’s most ruthless place is here.
Love you, but it doesn’t seem to love you so much.
Hit a stick to a sweet jujube, let you continue to rise and fall, but always can not escape.
Jiang Zhe’s call brought me back to reality.
I looked at him with a sudden wave of disgust in my heart.
Maybe the disgust in my eyes was so obvious that Jiang Zhe panicked.
He took me by the shoulder and said earnestly, “Year after year, I never wanted to be separated from you.”
I’m doing something that I don’t love you, but I’m more affectionate than anyone else.
I was suddenly amused. “Jiang Zhe, although this question is very stupid, I still want to ask you, what am I compared to your first love?”
Jiang Zhe was silent for a long time. Finally, he rubbed his eyebrows and said wearily,
“Jiang Nian, I did love her, but that’s all in the past.”. Isn’t it enough that I love you now? I don’t understand what you’re messing with me about.
His eyes were confused, as if he really didn’t understand.
I stopped, and suddenly I couldn’t speak.
My face suddenly itched, and I reached out to touch it subconsciously, and it was moist.
Jiang Zhe also saw it and wanted to hug me in a panic. “Nian Nian, I’m sorry. Don’t be angry, OK?”
I ran away. “Jiang Zhe, people don’t cry when they’re angry. They only cry when they’re wronged.”
“I’ve seen you love her with all your heart, and I really don’t think you love me.”
Jiang Zhe frowned and said emphatically, “Jiang Nian, I love you.”
“So why do you coax her when she is angry, but in my case, it’s just endless silence forever?”
“I..”
“Jiang Zhe, you know the harm of cold violence to girls.” I turned to look at him calmly and let the tears roll down my face. “You’re just not afraid of losing me.”
Perhaps my tone was too firm, or the truth was bloody and put on the surface, Jiang Zhe could not spit out a word for a long time. I
didn’t feel uncomfortable, but when I got home, I couldn’t help drinking. When
Feng Yan finally came to me, I was already drunk seven or eight minutes with the bottle in my arms.
He snatched the bottle and poured me a glass of honey water. There is only one night light in the
room, and the moonlight pours through the French windows, which makes people feel extremely safe.
I am eager to find an emotional pouring point, through the strength of alcohol to tell me and Jiang Zhe things off and on. Holding a glass of wine in my hand
, I asked Feng Yan-zhong knowingly.
Before I found that document, I had been making excuses for his cold violence, thinking that his character might be like this. Feng Yen-chung, am I stupid?
“Yes.” I was blindfolded by an answer
without hesitation.
Jiang Nian, as long as you really like someone, being nice to her becomes an instinct engraved in your bones. People who can commit acts of cold violence either don’t care or have nothing to fear, without exception.
After a pause, Feng Yan finally added in a deep voice,
“What’s more, solving problems is a man’s responsibility. His way of dealing with them is not even a complete man.”
I’m even more surprised.
In the past, my impression of Feng Yanzhong was that he was dull, calm and wise, but I didn’t see him in such a mood.
I wanted to take a sip of wine to calm down, but the bottle was taken away by Feng Yanzhong.
He picked it up and took a sip, then slanted his head to look at me. “Jiang Nian, you’re not the same as before.”
“Hmm?”
“I remember you used to be happy.”
I slanted my head to look at him, and in my blurred vision, I faintly saw a little heartache in his eyes.
Heart mercilessly a tremor, I suddenly some at a loss, slowly lying on the sofa pretending to sleep.
Alcohol quickly went to my head, and one second before I lost consciousness, I faintly felt a man picking me up carefully.
From that night on, I began to hide from Feng Yanzhong intentionally or unintentionally.
Feng Yanzhong probably felt my rejection and resumed his lukewarm relationship with me.
Jiang Zhe has been asking me to stay these days. I blacklisted all his contact information, and he changed his number to send me a message.
From the beginning of the stay, begging, to the following lengthy apology, and even finally his mother called me to intercede for him. At the end of my patience,
I replied,
“Jiang Zhe, don’t you know how to coax people? What are you doing now?”? Late affection is cheaper than grass. Don’t let me look down on you.
He never sent another message. It was a month later that I
learned that Bai Zhao had come back.
That day I found a new house to move out of Feng Yanzhong’s house and wanted to invite him to dinner for the last time.
As a result, as soon as I entered the food city, I received a call from my best friend Xixi. She told me that in the circle of friends, she saw an old classmate saying that Jiang Zhe’s first love had returned to China.
Before I could say anything, I looked up and saw Jiang Zhe and a girl walking side by side. The person who
used to exist in the picture suddenly appeared in front of me.
Bai Zhao looks more clever and vivid than in the photo, and the aqua blue dress adds a little gentleness to her.
It’s what I imagined the boy white moonlight should look like in my mind. I
thought I had forgotten the pain of being lovelorn, but at this moment, the pain and unwillingness to grow like vines. Feng Yan, who was
next to me, finally noticed something strange about me. He turned his head and asked me, “Jiang Nian, what’s wrong?”
I shook my head dully and motioned him to go on.
Two steps, one step, pass by.
Jiang Zhe didn’t give me a look.
My footsteps were suddenly a little soft, and Feng Yan held me quickly.
“Thank you..” Before the words of
thanks were finished, a strong wind suddenly came to us.
I subconsciously hid back, but the center of gravity of my body was unstable, and I hit the pillar behind me heavily, and my back was burning.
Ignoring the pain, I hurried over to pull the two men who were fighting not far away.
“Jiang Zhe, what are you crazy about?”
Jiang Zhe hit the top, I rushed to the past also confiscated the force, Feng Yan was afraid to hurt me by mistake, hard to get a punch. I was so
angry that I trembled, and before my brain could react, a slap fell on Jiang Zhe’s face. With
a very clear sound, Jiang Zhe’s face was hit to one side. There was a
strange silence for a long time. When
Jiang Zhe turned around, his eyes were red with anger.
“Jiang Nian, no wonder you’re so determined to break up this time. You’ve already found a good home. How long have we just broken up? How can you..”
“Jiang Zhe, you are dirty. Don’t think others are so dirty.”
I coldly dropped this sentence and pulled Feng Yan to leave.
Jiang Zhe grabbed my wrist. “Jiang Nian, Bai Zhao and I are not what you think. I came to test you on purpose. I want to see if you will still be jealous of me.”
I froze for a moment, then shook my head indifferently. “It doesn’t matter. Whatever you do has nothing to do with me.” After a moment’s
silence, Jiang Zhe said in a trembling voice, “Jiang Nian, I was going to propose to you at the end of the month.”
Marriage?
My tears flowed down inexplicably, even though I didn’t feel sad.
“Jiang Zhe, I did fantasize about marrying you with joy, but now I just feel suffocated when I think that marriage with you will be an endless silence and quarrel.”
Jiang Nian, shall I change? If you don’t like it, I’ll change everything, okay? Before
I could answer, Feng Yen-chung suddenly covered his lips and coughed.
“Jiang Nian, we went too late. The restaurant we booked was given to someone else. Let’s buy something to eat at home.”
I looked up at Feng Yanzhong and suddenly understood what he meant.
Nodded. “Yeah, it’s too late.”
He was answering Feng Yanzhong’s question, but he looked at Jiang Zhe and said it.
Jiang Zhe looked at us steadily, and his face suddenly turned white. Coming out
of the food city, Feng Yan and I were not in the mood to eat.
Finally, he went directly to the supermarket to buy some hot pot materials and went back to Feng Yanzhong’s home to cook hot pot. In the
dense heat, we have not a match to talk, the atmosphere is still harmonious, Feng Yanzhong usually cold and cheerless face also hung a smile.
I picked up a piece of mutton and mentioned that I was going to move next week.
Feng Yanzhong’s action of eating a meal, stuffy hum, no longer make a sound.
The atmosphere suddenly fell silent.
I peeked at Feng Yanzhong, and the smile on his face seemed to fade.
I suddenly thought of Feng Yanzhong’s eyes that night, and my heart sank, as if I had been caught by something. After a long
silence, Feng Yan finally got up and went to open a few bottles of beer. He handed me one and said, “Do you want some?”
I shook my head.
He began to drink by himself, a little fiercely, five or six bottles in a row.
I tried to persuade him, but in the end I didn’t say anything.
“Jiang Nian.” Feng Yen-chung suddenly said, “Please help me get the wrapping paper from the bedside table in the bedroom.”
I nodded and went into his bedroom without much thought.
As soon as I opened the bedside table, I froze.
Where there is any paper, it is clearly. Subconsciously,
I wanted to close the cabinet door as if I hadn’t seen anything.
Feng Yen-chien, however, did not know when he was standing behind me. “Jiang Nian, take a look.” With a
slight tremor in my hand, I opened the album with Jiang Nian written on it.
It turned out that Feng Yanzhong liked me much earlier than I thought. In the
first year of high school, I was still an out-and-out study slacker, but Feng Yanzhong’s name of the God of learning has spread far and wide. In the middle of a
grade examination, Feng Yanzhong’s black pen suddenly ran out of water. As soon as my
eyes fell on me in the next seat, I threw a pen on his desk very well.
I thought it was a sweet youth campus drama, but as soon as the results came down, Feng Yan was stunned.
His English is only fifty points. The teacher in charge of the class, who
did not believe in evil, specially found Feng Yanzhong’s English answer sheet from the examination paper library. I don’t know if
I don’t see it, but I was shocked when I saw it-there were blank papers behind his English test paper!
Obviously, the handwriting was still faintly reflected on the paper, but not a word was shown.
It turned out that I had given him the special pen of my best friend by mistake.
It’s the kind of pen that disappears after an hour of writing.
It was the first and only time that Feng Yanzhong, the God of learning, ranked second in the grade.
The unprecedented humiliation made Feng Yan remember my name deeply. In the second semester of the
first year of high school, the school cracked down on puppy love, and caught a “couple” reading a self-criticism book under the national flag in front of the whole school.
Unfortunately, it was I who was caught.
But soon everyone knew that I was wronged.
Because what I read that day was not a self-criticism book at all.
Originally, as a client, I did not have much contact with the boy, I do not know why he would express his love to me, I also explicitly refused him and said that learning is the most important.
I explained all this to the head teacher, and the menopausal woman with a pension of over 100 said she didn’t believe a word.
Even said that flies do not bite seamless eggs, boys will like me, because of my own behavior.
Proper victim guilt theory.
Seventeen-year-old Jiang Nian was very arrogant, and naturally refused to suffer such a dumb loss. He explained the whole story directly under the national flag, and spoke passionately about his dissatisfaction with the “theory that victims are harmful.”. The
weather was fine that day, and the girl basked in the sunshine and bravely expressed her injustice.
Feng Yanzhong stood in the first row and watched the whole journey clearly.
From the beginning of his memory, he followed the rules step by step, following the life described by his teachers and parents, and striving to become “someone else’s child.”.
And young Jiang Nian, like his other extreme, study slacker, insolent.
Live brilliantly and wantonly. Sometimes the love of
youth is so wonderful.
Feng Yanzhong himself did not know when he was moved, but when he looked back at his youth, her shadow was everywhere.
So there’s everything behind it.
I closed the photo album, and my heart was sour and swollen.
On the one hand, Feng Yanzhong’s fervent and sincere feelings, on the other hand, I suddenly realized that in Jiang Zhe’s cold violence, I lost the wanton and happy Jiang Nian.
Feng Yen-chung’s voice came from behind.
“Jiang Nian, actually I don’t know whether I like you or I’m obsessed with you now. All I know is that I can’t watch you pass by me and dare not do anything. This time, I want to give myself a chance.”
Time flies, and two months have passed since Feng Yan finally showed his heart.
In the past two months, I took the travel fund I had saved for many years and went to Changbai Mountain, where I had always wanted to go.
Across the mountains and rivers, when I saw the clear Tianchi Lake under the white clouds, everything seemed to be suddenly clear.
I roared and screamed, all contained and swallowed up by the huge scene in front of me.
Those pains and unwillingness seem so insignificant in the face of this huge nature.
I think I should put it down.
Back at the hotel, I boarded the WeChat I hadn’t done in two months.
As I expected, Jiang Zhe sent me a lot of messages.
The last one goes like this:
“Nian Nian, I understand the real reason why you broke up with me.”. I’ve never admitted to the word “cold violence,” but when I think about it, it seems to be true.
“Every time I have a conflict with you, I know I should communicate with you. I have a voice in my heart shouting to coax you to hug you, but when it comes to you who are angry and silent, it seems that I suddenly don’t have the strength.” Five years of love
with Bai Zhao seems to have worn away all my enthusiasm. I’m afraid of quarreling, and once I quarrel, I’m powerless. I was afraid that our relationship would end up like it did before, so I didn’t even dare to take a step.
I looked at the news for a long time.
In fact, Jiang Zhe is my first love.
I remember how seriously I took this relationship and how much I wanted it to work out.
In those silent nights, I burst into tears again and again, just expecting a response.
Not every apology deserves to be forgiven.
I replied,
“Jiang Zhe, you know cold violence is wrong, but you still did it. In fact, you know very well.”
I would rather not be loved than have someone consume me under the banner of love. Let’s leave it at that. Don’t destroy our good memories completely.
Jiang Zhe did not send a message again, and I cleanly blacklisted and deleted all his contact information. It was Feng Yanzhong who came to pick me up on the day I
returned to the city.
He was as cold as ever, did not ask much about anything, but never left behind all kinds of trifles.
I looked at his steady side face and suddenly felt very relieved.
I suddenly realized that Feng Yanzhong had always been like this. He appeared beside me
with a gesture of not far or near, not so hot, but never absent.
“Go ahead and I’ll be right behind you.”
Feng Yanzhong is as reassuring as this sentence.
“Thank you, Feng Yan-zhong.”
I moved my lips and said the words silently.
The days that followed were exceptionally calm and peaceful.
Jiang Zhe never bothered me again, and the pain gradually faded over time.
But Bai Zhao came to me once.
We made an appointment at the milk tea shop.
I thought I was going to encounter the bloody plot of the TV series and the novel, but the first sentence Bai Zhao said to me made me feel good. “It’s good to separate. He doesn’t deserve you at all.”
I looked at her in surprise. “I thought you had come to plead for Jiang Zhe.”
“How?”
Bai Zhao suddenly smiled, and his eyes were clever and smart when he smiled.
“Don’t tell me, that boy Jiang Zhe can’t do anything else. He has a good eye for picking girlfriends.”. I wanted to make friends with you the first time I saw you in the food city.
I toasted her with milk tea. “I agree with that.” When
we talked about the document, Bai Zhao was so angry that his face bulged.
“He farted!”! That’s his self-righteous sweetness. At the beginning of the relationship, he did coax me, but in the later stage of the relationship, he became more and more indifferent, and he would not speak when he quarreled. I also put up with him for so long because of my emotional foundation and because I was young and ignorant. When I think about those five years now, I feel sick.
This is beyond my expectation.
I can’t help but sigh, “Sure enough, no responsibility means no responsibility, and it won’t work on anyone.”
“Yes, I was afraid that another girl would be cheated by him, so I agreed when he asked me for help to make you angry.”
I noticed the wedding ring on Bai Zhao’s hand.
As soon as she asked, she smiled shyly, “Yes, I’m already married, and now I’m very sweet. Thank you for not marrying Jiang Zhe!”
We clink glasses and laugh at each other. Just as we were
talking, a man suddenly walked in and went straight to Bai Zhao.
“You, you will do bad things if you can’t watch for a while. The doctor has told you to quit milk tea. If you don’t listen now, won’t you suffer in the future?”? Can’t we drink after these ten months?
Obviously, this is Bai Zhao’s husband.
I looked at them in surprise. “Is Bai Zhao pregnant?”
The man rubbed his eyebrows helplessly. “Yes, it makes you laugh.”
Finally, Bai Zhao was dragged away by the man. Through the big glass window,
I watched them leave with each other.
The man seems to be still criticizing Bai Zhao, a strong man of 1.8 meters, with a deliberately stiff face, but his eyes are tender and lingering that can not be concealed.
Bai Zhao stuck out his tongue and listened to the criticism.
Two people alone become a touch of scenery. Holding the milk tea,
I looked at the harmonious scene and smiled softly. There is too much sincere love in
this world, and we really don’t need to waste time on people who are not sincere.
Time passed in a flash.
In the past six months, I have focused on my career. The journey
of Changbai Mountain made me think a lot, and I began to pick up my dream and write stories. I
remember when I was in junior high school, I had a favorite author. Her writing style was exquisite and gentle, and she had accompanied me through many frustrations.
Words have a very strange healing power.
As early as the moment I saw Tianchi, I suddenly wanted to be a person like her. I wanted to use my words to warm more people. The satisfaction
of self-achievement makes my whole person plump.
Oh yes, in addition, Feng Yan finally gave me a little golden retriever on my birthday.
Chubby one, can eat and sleep, very close. The relationship between
me and the owner of the golden retriever is also subtle unconsciously.
Feng Yen-chien’s pursuit of people is as introverted as he is. “Accidentally” extra movie tickets, “just in time” buy one get one free milk in the supermarket, and more and more “chance encounters.”.
Thinking that I had promised to give Feng Yanzhong a chance before, I let our relationship develop.
Once I had a fever caused by tonsillitis, and the whole person was burning in a daze. When my consciousness was blurred, Feng Yanzhong’s face appeared in front of me for the first time.
I sent him a message. At
three or four o’clock in the middle of the night, I didn’t expect to receive a reply.
But half an hour later, the doorbell rang suddenly.
It was the golden retriever who opened the door. When I woke up
again, I was already in the hospital. Looking at the tired face of the man lying beside the bed, I suddenly felt a strange feeling in my heart.
The man said nothing, but everything he did was gentle to the bone. When
he woke up again, I said to him, “Feng Yan-zhong, I heard that after tonsillitis, you need to eat light food.”
He didn’t understand what I meant. He just nodded and said, “Yes.”
“I can’t cook. Would you like to move in and take care of me for a while?” The
atmosphere was quiet for a long time.
Feng Yen-jung’s eyes lit up little by little. “I wish I could.” After
living together, I found that Feng Yanzhong was like a small treasure, and the deeper I dug, the more surprising it was.
Such a man, if serious contact with him, it is really difficult not to like him. It was New Year’s Eve
with him.
I invited him to come home to make dumplings together, two people who are obviously good at cooking, but they have no way to start with dumplings.
Finally, we looked at the soup in the pot and pointed at each other and laughed until we couldn’t stand up. The countdown to the New Year sounded
outside the window.
5，4……
We suddenly stopped laughing and looked at each other tacitly, and our hearts beat faster and faster with the countdown.
3，2……
Feng Yanzhong’s face was slightly close.
Out of the corner of my eye, I saw his fingers curled up slightly nervously. I chuckled and took the initiative to reach out and hook his neck.
1…… The fireworks
outside the window suddenly went up to the sky one by one, exploding beautiful light and shadow.
We kissed together.
For a long time, Feng Yan and I finally breathed lightly and separated.
“Be together.”
We said the words in unison.
Then they looked at each other and laughed. The fireworks
outside the window are still going off.
I gently leaned on Feng Yanzhong’s shoulder, and we hugged each other and enjoyed the grand scenery together. A
new year has begun.
Feng Yanzhong, our story has just begun.
(The end of the full text)
Record No.: YXX1jppOl3GFOOOXEPzTPM3Y
He is not uninterested
in me. Silent love: I just like you
, Qiu Xiaoba. Etc
