Looking for
first love, old love, new love
1
“Cheng Huan!”! How dare you! Cheng Zhi was as angry as a lion, with red eyes and a heaving chest. I smiled at the way
he looked.
Isn’t that what you always wanted? As you wish. Brother, my clothes are half off, and my bare skin is a little cold.
“Get out of my house.” Cheng Zhi looked at Qi Sang with a cold expression. He was already trying to restrain himself.
Qi Sang looked at me, I lowered my head not to look at his eyes, not to look at his look.
Qi Sang’s hand appeared in my line of sight.
One by one, help me to fasten the buttons of my clothes.
Finally turned around and left.
Almost at the moment of closing the door, I was imprisoned in the corner by Cheng Zhi.
He reached out and wiped my lips with his finger pulp viciously. It hurt a little, but I didn’t say a word.
Cheng Zhi shook his fist heavily against my ear and hit the wall. The loud noise made me tinnitus.
Looking at Cheng Zhi’s painful look, I had some pleasure in my heart.
“Brother, why are you so angry?”
“Shut up!” Cheng Zhi is furious.
I’m an adult, you know, one of these days.
“In the future, I will do something more intimate with others, brother.”
“Don’t call me brother.” Cheng Zhi covered my mouth with his hand.
I laughed. I really like to escape, coward.
I pulled his hand down, cupped his head in both hands and forced him to look at me.
“Cheng Zhi, as long as you say you like me, no matter what the result, I will always be yours.” I looked into his eyes, reverently like a witch casting a spell, hoping to bewitch him into giving me the answer I wanted.
I looked into his eyes and refused to let go of a slight change. There was a flickering flame in
his eyes, which seemed to be burning.
My heart is about to jump out.
But the spark was fleeting, and he closed his eyes, and tears fell from them.
I let go of my hands decadently.
“You are my sister.”
We are not related by blood! ***ing brother and sister! I shouted out of control.
“But we’re all surnamed Cheng!”
I suddenly feel tired, so many years, I am the only one in the crazy, he is always the one who is sober and self-sustaining.
“Well, well, we’re both surnamed Cheng, so from today on, you’re just my brother.” I was almost exhausted. My voice was very soft, but I knew he heard me. Before I
turned to leave, I heard Cheng Chih say in a subdued voice, “Good.” When I
opened the door, I didn’t want to take the elevator and went to the fire passage.
As soon as he went in, he smelled the smell of tobacco, and Qi Sang sat on the steps, throwing cigarette butts all over the floor at his feet.
I sat down beside Qi Sang.
“Any more cigarettes?”
It was my first time to smoke, and I choked with tears.
“Cheng Huan, he’s your brother.” Qi Sang dropped a piece of ash between his fingers.
“He is not!” I shouted angrily, but the next second, it was like being drained of all my strength.
Yes, he is my brother. Isn’t that disgusting? I like my brother. I smiled and wiped the tears on my face with my hands.
Qi Sang raised his hand to hold my face, wiped the mess on my face with his thumb pulp, and gathered up his messy hair.
He forced my face up slightly and looked at him.
“Try it with me.”
I looked at him with some consternation, and the next second I heard myself say
, “Good.”
That’s it. It won’t be Cheng Zhi after all. That’s it.
“Don’t lie to me again.”
Yes, I lied to Qi Sang.
Over the years, I expressed my love to Cheng Zhi ten times, but he refused ten times.
I just want to cross the Rubicon one last time, one last time.
Qi Sang is the most special existence in the school, with the most regular buzz cut, but his eyebrows and eyes are as sharp as frost and snow, cold and quiet, solitary, like a beast in the mountains, dangerous and charming.
I knew he worked part-time at the live bar, and every day I would go and order a different soft drink and lie on the bar and watch him mix.
On the last day of the third month, I said my first words to him: “Come home with me later.”
I let Cheng Zhi see that scene well.
But I calculate everything, cross the Rubicon in exchange for only a mess.
I was accidentally choked by smoke again, and I couldn’t stop coughing.
Qi Sang took the remaining half of the cigarette between my fingers and crushed it on the ground.
“Just try it. In the future, don’t smoke.”
The next day at noon, just out of the classroom, I saw Qi Sang.
“Eat.” He approached and naturally took my hand.
I subconsciously struggled, and his hand clenched more tightly. Passing
through the campus, we were watched by almost everyone.
Qi Sang seemed careless and indifferent, but I felt the wetness of his palm.
It turns out that such people can also be nervous. The dining hall
at noon is the most lively, I sat opposite Qi Sang, almost can feel some girls eyes like a knife in my body.
I unnaturally buried my head a little lower.
Qi Sang suddenly stood up and motioned me to move inside and lean against the wall.
He sat beside me, and his tall figure caught me, blocking the eyes of those who were exploring.
“Eat more.” He put a chop into my bowl.
I smiled at him and ate the ribs seriously.
“If you don’t have classes in the evening, come and see me.”
“Good.”
I came to live again and sat in my old seat.
Qi Sang was taking wine from the wine cabinet, turned around and saw me, with a smile in his eyes. As usual,
I lay on the bar and watched him mix the wine.
This is the first time I seriously watch him bartending, usually I am lying in a daze, want to stop. Under the ambiguous light
in the bar, his edges and corners were more distinct, and the ordinary black shirt was in style on his body.
Well, the boyfriend chosen casually is of high quality.
“So serious?” Qi Sang suddenly bent down and enlarged his face in front of me.
I pulled him closer by the collar in bad taste, almost to his face, and whispered in his ear,
“Because you’re beautiful.”
Qi Sang’s ears are red.
I laughed out loud happily, and no one would have thought that the cold-faced Qi Sang would be shy. There was a band here
today, and the environment was very noisy, so I laughed without scruple, as if I hadn’t been so happy for a long time.
Smile has not cooled, I left to the figure of Cheng Zhi.
He wore a girl with a plain white dress and black hair up to her waist, gentle and smart.
I withdrew my gaze, turned my head to the other side, and gulped down the cocktail in front of me.
“Huanhuan?” Cheng Zhi’s voice is not loud, but my ears are too used to his voice.
I took a deep breath and turned around with a smile on my face.
Brother? What a coincidence.
Cheng Zhi’s body stiffened. I
have a sense of revenge in my heart.
“Why don’t you go home so late?”
“I’m waiting for my boyfriend. Brother, let me introduce you. This is my boyfriend, Qi Sang.” I smiled and took Qi Sang’s hand.
“Huan Huan, stop it.” Cheng Zhi saw Qi Sang with a sharp look in his eyes.
He spoke in a calm tone, but I knew he was angry.
“Cheng Huan, you may not remember me. I used to be Lin Hui, the neighbor downstairs.” The girl beside him suddenly spoke.
Lin Hui? How could I not remember that she liked to follow Cheng Zhi, and in the eyes of the neighbors, they were the best childhood sweethearts. The three of
us sat down together.
Such a scene, I was silent. Have nothing to say.
Only Lin Hui is talking about some childhood things, talking about, Lin Hui talked about how he and Cheng Zhi met again in a blind date.
Blind date? I looked up at Cheng Zhi.
He looked away in a panic.
It turned out that I was the only one who was addicted to the swamp and refused to come out.
I looked at him with an indescribable sadness in my heart. When
I tried so hard to like him, he was already thinking about how to stay away from me.
Make me look like a joke.
I used beer to talk about Lin Hui’s story and hold a memorial ceremony for my past. I had nothing to say, so I drank one bottle after another in silence.
Until Cheng Zhi suddenly reached for a newly opened bottle of wine.
I grabbed the bottle from Cheng Zhi’s hand, and the beer spilled out and spilled all over Lin Hui.
“I’m sorry, sister,” I said with a mischievous smile.
“It’s all right. I’ll go to the bathroom and take care of it.” As soon as
Lin Hui got up and left, Cheng Zhi grabbed the bottle I was drinking half of.
I stood up, a little dizzy.
“Cheng Zhi, as you wish, this is the last time I call your name.”
“Brother, I wish you happiness in the future. I wish you will never think of me for the rest of your life.”
“Huanhuan.” Cheng Zhi’s voice trembled.
I just took a step, but I was dizzy and lost my balance.
A pair of hands held my waist firmly.
Qi Sang’s breath surrounds me.
He leaned me against the empty table next door and tried to get me a glass of water. The corner of the
table was so uncomfortable that I simply sat on the table on tiptoe and pulled Qi Sang’s hand in front of me.
I suddenly want a love, a firm love that will not be a deserter.
“Qi Sang, do you like me?”
Qi Sang did not speak, but quietly looked at me, serious, stubborn, and some crazy.
“Kiss me.”
Qi Sang’s kiss swept in like a rainstorm.
Just when I thought I was going to suffocate, he let me go.
He put his forehead against mine, and the tip of my nose was filled with his breath.
His eyes were slightly red. “Cheng Huan, whether you like it or not, I won’t let you go.”
When I woke up again, it was already the third day of the day. I picked up my cell phone, and I didn’t know when it had been muted by myself.
More than 20 missed calls and voices, all of them are Cheng Zhi.
I threw away my cell phone and looked around at the strange environment, and my consciousness began to gather gradually. When
Qi Sang pushed the door softly and came in, I just recalled the part where I asked for a kiss yesterday.
My eyes met, and I looked at his lips subconsciously.
By the time I realized what I was looking at, Qi Sang’s lips had been raised. I pulled my
big hand and covered myself with the quilt.
I’m ashamed to see anyone.
Through the quilt, I heard his light laughter: “Don’t stuffy yourself.”
During the meal time, I used my mobile phone to look at the information
about the rental houses around the school. Qi Sang glanced at it: “Do you want to go?”
I looked up at him, his tone was calm, but the smile between his eyebrows and eyes was gone, and the chill of loneliness caught him again. The words on the tip
of my tongue suddenly changed to: “No …”
“Okay..” Qi Sang interrupted me neatly.
“But there’s only one bedroom..”
“I can accommodate you.”
I said no more and drank the porridge in silence.
Qi Sang put down the bowl and put his hand in front of me: “Cell phone.”
He unlocked it and I handed it to him.
When the mobile phone came back to me, the rental software I downloaded was deleted.
After dinner, I took the initiative to wash the dishes with the principle of not eating free food.
“I’ll do it.” Qi Sang took the bowl and chopsticks
in my hand, and I listened to the sound of the water and began to look around. There are very few things in
Qi Sang’s house, which is very simple.
But there is a large wine cabinet in the living room, which is somewhat abrupt and has a wide variety of wines.
“My mother liked to drink when she was alive.” Qi Sang did not know when to stand behind me.
I just noticed that there was a picture frame on the top of the cabinet, and the woman inside looked very gentle.
Before death.
I turned to look at him. His face was calm and he could not see any emotional waves.
I wanted to comfort him, but I didn’t know what to say.
“It’s all right.” Qi Sang rubbed the top of my head.
Qi Sang opened his arms and motioned for me to help him take off his apron.
After untying the tie, he did not bow his head, but stood tall and straight.
I could only stand on tiptoe and try to get the apron out of his head.
Qi Sang pulled me into his arms, bowed his head and kissed me on the forehead. “I’ll take you somewhere.”
He took me to a car club that was a little out of the way but looked ordinary.
“Sister Ning.” Qi Sang entered the door and shouted.
“Sang!” The person who was called Sister Ning was very happy to see Qi Sang. “Smelly boy, I haven’t been here for some time. Hey?”? Is this your girlfriend?
Sister Ning put her attention on me in an instant and pulled me inside.
“Do whatever you want. I’ll talk to my sister.”
“Sister Ning, I want to run a lap today.”
“You run your way and don’t get in our way.”
“Take her.”
Sister Ning turned to look at Qi Sang, and her eyebrows twisted up.
“If you drive so wild, scare her again!”
“Are you afraid?” Qi Sang looked at me, quiet eyes inexplicably let me feel at ease.
I shook my head.
He put on a smile and took my hand.
Pushing open a thick iron door, there is a different world inside, which is a long and endless tunnel.
Qi Sang lifted a piece of dust cover, and it was a black locomotive.
Qi Sang took out a helmet, put it on me, and carefully adjusted the buckle.
His long legs got into the car and pulled my hands around his waist.
“Hold me tight.” The moment the
car rushed away, my heart almost flew out. When the
wind whistled in my ears, I closed my eyes desperately, hugged Qi Sang tightly, and tried desperately to suppress the impulse to scream.
I don’t know how long it was before I heard Qi Sang’s voice: “Open your eyes, Cheng Huan, don’t be afraid.”
The wind was very loud, and the sound of his voice was blown away.
But his voice was still firm and strong, which gave me some courage.
I opened my eyes little by little, only to find that I was actually along the coastal road. The lights
along the road meandered and could not see the end, like stars falling on the sea. With
the whistling wind and the sound of the waves, the sky and the sea are vast as far as the eye can see.
Those worries and sorrows seem to be blown away bit by bit and disappear bit by bit.
Qi Sang stopped by the pontoon bridge.
We lay side by side on the pontoon bridge, and the waves came in waves, and we also shook and shook.
The boundless night, the bright moonlight, the slow sea breeze, and the Qi Sang beside him. All
this suddenly gave me a desire to tell the secret stories that no one could tell except Cheng Zhi.
“I was adopted by the Cheng family, and so was Cheng Chih.” The
Cheng couple couldn’t have children, so they adopted a boy, Cheng Chih. They were extremely superstitious, and after looking for him for a long time, they brought me home because it was my birthday. I was seven years old.
“They were very kind to Cheng, but I was like the door God they brought back to keep us safe. I gave them food and clothing, but no one cared if the door God would be happy or sad, or if he would want a little love.”
“I was almost brought up by Cheng Chih. He even bought me my first underwear and my first pack of sanitary napkins. I have no friends, no family, and I will always have only one of him around.”
“I make a wish every year on my birthday that Cheng and I will always be together.”
“You can see that birthday wishes are all lies.”
When I finally said it, it was not so difficult to say, but a little bitter.
Qi Sang turned his head and looked at me, his eyes like stars in the sea.
“Cheng Huan, you don’t love him. You’re too afraid of losing him. You just want to keep him this way.” In the
dim light of night, Qi Sang’s quiet voice beat into my heart like the waves.
I was stunned.
Is that so? Those once persistent and determined thoughts also drifted up and became a mess.
A kiss fell on my forehead, with a gentle sea breeze.
It was easy to calm the thoughts in my mind.
Qi Sang fished me into his arms and gently pressed his chin against my forehead.
“Don’t be afraid, Cheng Huan. I’ll always be here.”
My heart seems to be soaked by the sea, with some tide.
As soon as I got back, Sister Ning pulled me left and right and said, “Didn’t you bump into each other?”? Didn’t scare you, did it?
Sister Ning was so enthusiastic that I was a little embarrassed to shake my head.
“Sister, our little mulberry’s temper and temper are a little hard, but his heart is still very soft. If he makes you unhappy, just ignore him,” Sister Ning said as she handed me a bottle of water.
“No, I think Chi Sang is very gentle.” I said with a smile.
Sister Ning looked shocked as if she had heard something great, and her eyes crossed me to look behind me.
Gentle? Is that you? As soon as
I looked back, I saw Qi Sang leaning against the wall and looking at me with a smile.
Orange lights poured down and enveloped him.
Just looking at it, I also feel some warmth in my heart.
Today’s class ended a little earlier, Qi Sang said something today did not come to pick me up, I looked at the time, this point, Cheng Zhi should not be at home.
When I open the door and look at everything inside.
I haven’t been back for a few days, but it feels like it’s been a long time.
Looking at this familiar space is like turning over one’s own dust-laden memories.
I don’t have many things all the time, and I can do everything with one suitcase.
I took the big picture frame at the head of the bed, in which I took a picture with Cheng Zhi on my birthday every year.
From tender to youth, from intimacy to the present.
I put down the picture frame, and it stays here, and it can only stay here.
As soon as I reached the underground parking entrance, I saw Cheng Zhi’s car and subconsciously hid sideways.
Cheng stopped the car and walked down.
He was still handsome and refined, but he was thin and a little haggard. When
I was struggling to see him, he went to the passenger side, opened the door, Lin Hui came down, and he went to stop.
At that moment, it was as if something had been stripped from my heart.
I thought it would hurt and be sad.
But I just suddenly feel a little tired.
When I was shaking my mind, I didn’t notice Lin Hui coming.
“Cheng Huan.” Lin Hui called me softly.
Cheng Zhi he.. It hasn’t been so good lately. He’s worried about you. Lin Hui’s look was somewhat unnatural and lonely.
Then please take care of my brother. Don’t tell him I came back. I waved goodbye to Lin Hui.
Called the car has arrived at the gate of the community, put the luggage, the master just turned around, I saw Cheng Zhi running out from the rearview mirror.
He looked from side to side, his face burning.
At the same time, my mobile phone rang.
I sat in the car, turned off my cell phone, passed by him through the window, and said goodbye to him silently in my heart.
I went directly to Live, I don’t know why, I just want to see Qi Sang now. When
I showed up at the store with my luggage, a girl with short hair was sitting in my seat.
Qi Sang is saying something to her, the girl looked up, with a smile, eyes twinkling stars, looks pure and beautiful.
I was holding the suitcase tightly and hesitating to walk over.
“Where did you go? Why did you turn it off?” Qi Sang’s face was as cold as frost and snow.
I.. I’ll go back and get my things.
When Qi Sang saw my suitcase, he relaxed and smiled softly.
“Qi Sang, what is this?” A light voice came from behind Qi Sang.
I look at this girl, and she looks familiar.
“Cheng Huan!” She exclaimed.
I remember, she is Gu Yao.
My first and last so-called friend. In
junior high school, Gu Yao and I were deskmates. She was lively and outgoing. She pulled me in everything she did. She even invited me to her home to play together, do homework together, and whisper together, just like other girls.
I thought I wanted to have friends of my own.
But until she peeked at my diary in my schoolbag, she knew my secret and shameless secret.
She applied to change her seat. Rumors about me were raging in the class. My classmates looked at me like a monster. From then on, I began to be silent again.
I finally returned to a person.
From then on, I seem to understand that people like me are not worthy of those noble friendships.
“Gu Yao, long time no see.” I pretended to be calm in greeting.
My hands trembled a little out of control, and the original dust-laden wounds were torn open again, or they would be bloody.
“What’s the matter?” Qi Sang found me strange, took my hand and pulled me in front of him.
My eyes crossed Qi Sang’s shoulder and saw the disbelief in Gu Yao’s eyes.
Qi Sang, she is you. Girlfriend? Girlfriend three words, Gu Yao said very difficult.
“Well, I see you know each other.”
I stared at Gu Yao because of some surprise slightly open mouth, I know that there must be hidden in those words like a sharp knife.
But she didn’t say anything, which surprised me.
Gu Yao is still so lively and outgoing, as if time has not changed her.
She told the story of Qi Sang’s childhood, originally they were neighbors, she told Qi Sang went to her house every day to eat, told a lot of interesting things that only the two of them knew.
I listen to listen to, thoughts drift, the original everyone will have their own fetters.
What about me?
Without Cheng Zhi, where is Qi Sang? Will Qi Sang be mine?
I lowered my head and hid my look.
Gu Yao home someone to pick her up, Qi Sang is busy, I sent her to the door.
“Does Qi Sang know about you?”
“He knows.” I interrupted her, eager, as if to prove something.
Gu Yao was silent for a few seconds.
“Cheng Huan, Qi Sang deserves the cleanest and most beautiful man in the world. You don’t deserve him.”
Gu Yao has gone, but the wind in the night is still hunting.
When I got home, I found that there was an extra bed in the room originally used for storage.
I packed my clothes mechanically, and Qi Sang sat quietly watching me.
“You have something on your mind.” Qi Sang gathered my hands and asked me to stop.
He crouched in front of me, helped me push aside the broken hair on my face, and looked at me.
I opened my mouth, not knowing what to say.
I looked at Qi Sang, his fierce appearance under the sincere, gentle, he really deserves the best.
His eyes were filled with some astringency, and his chest was blocked.
“I’m a little tired. I’m going to rest first.” Then I fled back to my room.
I heard Qi Sang’s footsteps stop at the door. He stood for a long time and finally left.
My eyes are open in the dark, but my mind is blank. I
don’t know when I fell asleep. I had a dream.
I became a beautiful doll and was placed in a warm room. But gradually the corner began to be covered with cobwebs, the wall skin began to fall off in large pieces, revealing the broken cement color, the light in the room became darker and darker,
I was thrown in a corner, and suddenly the house collapsed with an explosion.
I woke up and there was a flash of lightning. It was a thunderstorm.
I gasped for breath. The dream was so real, so real that I was afraid.
There was another burst of thunder.
I shivered, but the sound seemed to fall on my ears, and I couldn’t escape. The handle of the
door was turned and the door opened.
In the darkness, Qi Sang came to me and told me, “Don’t be afraid, I’m here.”
I threw myself into Qi Sang’s arms, warm and solid.
Such a good Qi Sang, can it just be mine?
Qi Sang patted my head, put his hand on my head, and put me flat. When
his arms tried to pull away, I took his hand.
I moved inside and patted the vacant position with my hand.
I could feel my face burning, but the night gave me the best disguise.
He lay down and fished me into his arms.
“Go to sleep. I’ll stay here with you.”
I gently stroked his forehead, nose, lips, really good-looking Qisang.
“Knock it off.” Qi Sang grabbed my hand and imprisoned it.
“Cheng Huan.” His voice was deep and hoarse.
“Do you know what you’re doing?”
I drove him and nodded earnestly.
Qi Sang’s eyes darkened, and his Adam’s apple rolled up and down with his rapid breathing.
“Cheng Huan, look at me. Do you love me?” Qi Sang looked at me, deep pupil color like the devil’s gem, luring people to sink.
“Still, I just want to keep my warmth.”
I was stunned.
Love?
I know, I like Qi Sang, but do I love him?
Qi Sang hugged me, very hard, very hard. Buried in his arms,
I heard a sigh from the top of my head.
After a long time, Qi Sang picked up my face and let me look at him.
“Cheng Huan, you don’t have to pay anything to keep me.”
“I will always be there for you, unconditionally.”
“In the future, don’t be afraid.”
It turns out that he knows everything, he knows my vulnerability and sensitivity, knows my panic, knows my unbearable past, but he is still willing to love me, unconditionally love me. The moment the
tears fell, I reached out and hugged Qi Sang tightly.
Qi Sang’s body was stiff and straight.
After a long time, he raised his hand and stroked my back.
His movements were very gentle, and I nestled in his arms, wrapped in his breath, feeling a little sleepy
and confused, and I seemed to hear Qi Sang’s voice
: “It’s really killing me.” When I woke up in the
morning, the smell of breakfast had come to the living room.
I leaned against the door frame, looking at Qi Sang with bowls and chopsticks, suddenly seemed to have a feeling of home.
Every two days is the National Day holiday. Qi Sang and
I stayed at home to watch movies during the day and went to live together at night. Occasionally, he would pick up his guitar and sing a song.
“Little brother, you can add a WeChat.” Another girl, with the blessing of alcohol, mustered up her courage and came to Qi Sang.
Tut, tut.
Qi Sang refused others with a cold face and turned to look at me as if I were watching a good show. He was angry and funny.
“It’s hard for you to watch the play there.” Qi Sang said grumpily.
“If you are blinded by sex, you can’t stop it. Beauty is harmful to others.” I shook my head.
“Can this beauty still enter your eyes?” Qi Sang suddenly bent down, deep magnetic voice, swept my face into the ear.
I blushed. Who can resist such a sexy voice
suddenly.
Qi Sang looked at my burning face and smiled.
Qi Sang’s smile disappeared on his face, looking at the direction of the door, his face cooled down.
When I turn around, it’s Cheng Zhi. Cheng Zhi and
I sat down in a corner seat.
“Are you hiding from me?” Cheng Zhi’s voice was a little tired and aggrieved.
I blacklisted all the contact information of Cheng Zhi.
He waited for me at the school gate many times, but each time I was more patient than he was.
“Huanhuan, it’s time to go home.”
I looked at him in silence.
“I miss you very much.” Cheng Zhi’s voice is very light, slightly lowers the head, some desolate appearance.
“I regret it, Huanhuan, come back, okay?”
I stopped my hand from playing with the cup, and a sense of anger ran through my chest.
“Pow.”
I hit it so hard that my palms hurt.
Cheng Zhiwei slanted his head and a slight red appeared on his face. He closed his eyes painfully and dared not look at me.
“Why?”
“I’ve been begging you for so many years, but you won’t give me an answer.”
“Now I’m starting my life again, and you’re telling me you regret it?”
“But you would rather regret than admit that you love me!”
“You are a coward. I won’t love you anymore.”
I closed my eyes and took a deep breath. These words seemed to take away all my strength. Start
over? Qi Sang?
“No, you can’t fall in love with someone else!”
Cheng Zhi mentioned Qi Sang and looked cold. He pressed forward step by step until I was on the back of the sofa.
His tall figure covered the light and I was shrouded in shadow.
“Huanhuan, do you love him?” His fingers took my chin and forced me to lift my head.
He is no longer a handsome and elegant appearance, with a trace of cruelty, let me feel strange and afraid.
“You’re no longer in a position to ask.” I’m holding on.
“Huanhuan.” Cheng Zhi traced my face with his hand.
“You are not his kind, but we are.” Cheng Zhi imprisoned me and then bowed his head and kissed me.
I closed my eyes, tears from the corner of my eyes, once imagined countless scenes, now only let me feel humiliated.
Cheng Zhi’s kiss did not fall on my face.
Body imprisonment a loose, eyes suddenly become bright, Cheng Zhi was pushed aside.
When I opened my eyes, the light was a little harsh.
Qi Sang is against the light, like an angel coming down.
The angel reached out and brought me from the swamp of darkness to the light.
Qi Sang’s face was terribly cold, but he gently wiped away my tears: “Don’t cry.”
He led me out, his other hand clenched with blue veins, and his jaw line stretched to death, as if he were desperately trying to suppress his emotions.
“Qi Sang, you don’t know her at all.” Cheng Zhi roared.
“There will be plenty of time in the future.” Qi Sang said coldly.
“She won’t give up on me. I used to accompany her every day. Every thunderstorm night, she could only fall asleep by my side. I witnessed her from green to mature..”
My body trembled slightly, Cheng Zhi’s words embarrassed me to shame, especially in front of Qi Sang, I did not even dare to look at his look.
But Cheng Zhi’s words were interrupted.
Qi Sang shook his fist and hit Cheng Zhi heavily in the face.
One, two.
He was like an angry lion with red eyes.
“Qi Sang.” I reached for his sleeve.
“Stop fighting, I’m afraid.”
Qi Sang stopped, kissed me on the forehead, took me by the hand, and then turned around and said, “Cheng Zhi, you don’t deserve her.”
Qi Sang rode with me, but he didn’t speak all the way.
I could feel his anger. The traffic
around me is getting less and less, and the surroundings are getting quieter and quieter. I don’t know where he’s taking me.
Finally Qi Sang stopped the car, I looked up, is a cemetery.
Qi Sang took me to a monument, and the picture on it was exactly the same as the one in his wine cabinet.
Qi Sang sat down. “Cheng Huan, do you remember the first time we met?”
Remember, at Live.. “
No, when I was thirteen.”
I looked at him with some astonishment.
“Downstairs from my house.”
“You saw me push a little boy to the ground, grab his toy, throw it on the ground and crush it.”
“I covered his mouth desperately to keep him from crying.”
“No one knows. That day, I really had the idea of killing him, killing my so-called brother.”
Qi Sang looked indifferent, but his voice trembled slightly in the wind.
It was the anniversary of my mother’s death. But the two murderers who caused her to break down and commit suicide chose to become a family on that day.
“After my mother passed away, I didn’t cry. I was even glad that she didn’t have to stay here and continue to endure endless pain like me. Everyone openly and secretly scolded me for being cold and inhuman.”
“Cheng Huan, only you.”
“You have seen what I have done, and you have seen my dark and cruel moment.”
“You come up to me and tell me, don’t be sad, the suffering will pass.”
Qi Sang looked up at me, pious.
This scene gradually became clear in my mind. I remember that it was raining lightly that day, and I held an umbrella for a boy.
I remember him, all stubborn and indifferent, but his eyes were full of pain.
Like me, like them in the welfare home.
“That boy turned out to be you.” I didn’t expect that I knew Qi Sang so early.
But after that, I never saw you again. If I had known you and Ku Yao were classmates, I could have found you earlier.
Qi Sang is smiling, can be broken everywhere, revealing a trace of fragility, let me faint heartache.
I sat down on my knees in front of him, imitating his usual way and stroking his hair. “Don’t be sad, it’s all over.”
Qi Sang took my hand and looked at me, his eyes full of sincerity: “I tell you this in front of my mother because I want to promise you, Cheng Huan, that my love will not be less than anyone else.”
He bowed his head and kissed the back of my hand.
I looked at the picture on the tablet, gentle mother, so there will be such a gentle Qi Sang.
I broke down in tears, so I have so many years of heart, Qi Sang has long given me.
Soon it was time for winter vacation.
I have nowhere to go, and Qi Sang is homeless. The two
of us decided to spend the Spring Festival here.
“Couplets are definitely needed. Write them down.” I urged Qi Sang to write, while thinking about what to prepare.
“Yes, let’s buy some more star lanterns. When the time comes, we can turn off the lights at home and look at the stars.”
“Good.” Qi Sang doted on it.
“I also want to buy a lucky character. I think every family will put it up for the New Year.”
“And..” The two of
us huddled together all morning and set off in the afternoon with the long shopping list. When we got to
the supermarket, we both stood at the door. The sea of people in the
supermarket is a big scene that we have never seen before.
“Why don’t we come back a few days later?” I asked Qi Sang.
“The later it is, the more people there will be. Let’s go.” Qi Sang and
I struggled to move left and right in the crowd. It is
noisy and noisy here, and the bright red decoration that can be seen at a glance reflects the atmosphere of human habitation on the cement floor.
I haven’t been in such a busy place for a long time.
I looked back at Qi Sang beside me, who was helping a child pick up a toy that had fallen carelessly.
The little girl smiled at him and said, “Thank you, brother.”
I laughed, too.
“What are you laughing at?” Qi Sang looked back at me.
“Qi Sang, I think this moment is very warm.”
When I got home, I collapsed on the sofa.
“Qi Sang, the New Year is so tiring. It’s a good thing it’s only once a year.”
Qi Sang Wen Yan smiled, and then put the things that need to be refrigerated into the refrigerator.
I cheekily lay on the sofa and watched Qi Sang busy.
Suddenly the doorbell rang. Curiously,
I sat up and looked in the direction of the door. I had lived here for so long that no one had ever come to the door.
It’s Gu Yao.
“Qi Sang, go to our home for the New Year, my mother..”
Gu Yao’s words have not finished, see me on my sofa, look stiff.
You.. Why are you here? Gu Yao’s voice was sharp and unbelievable.
She knew that this was the house left to him by Qi Sang’s mother, and that he had not brought anyone here. Even she knew from her mother where Qisang had lived for so many years.
“She lives here.” Qi Sang blocked the door and did not invite her to come in and sit down.
You.. Cohabitation? Gu Yao’s face was almost bloodless.
Qi Sang did not speak, a pair is what you see, acquiesced.
“Take care of my uncle and aunt, and you won’t have to call me anymore.” Qi Sang looked back at me and said to her.
“From now on, there will be people to celebrate the New Year with me.”
Qi Sang! She lied to you, she lied to you, the person she likes is her own brother! She’s a twisted pervert! Gu Yao said somewhat out of control.
“Don’t let me hear these words twice.” Qi Sang closed the door.
He came over and put his hand over my ear. “Don’t listen, don’t think.” With a warm feeling in my
heart, I pulled down his hands and looked into his eyes. “It doesn’t matter. On the contrary, I am very glad. I am glad that what you know is a complete and true me. I don’t need any lies to cover up my unhappiness.”
I’m glad that even so, you still love me. As soon as I woke up
Lunar New Year’s Eve that day, I saw the message left by Qi Sang.
He went to the cemetery and asked me to wait for him at home. When I
was brushing my teeth, I received a text message from a strange number, Cheng Zhi. He
said he wanted to see me for the last time.
I washed my face and planned to keep the appointment.
Since Qi Sang and I have been together, Cheng Zhi and I have never had a good chat, so today we simply spread out everything and make it clear. When
I got to the door of Cheng Zhi’s house, I looked at the key in my hand. Forget it, knock on the door.
Knocked at the door, but there was no movement.
I hesitated for a moment, or when I was going to leave first, my cell phone rang, it was Qi Sang.
I was just about to answer the phone.
The door suddenly opened and I was pulled into the room. The
heavy smell of alcohol lingered on the tip of my nose.
“You’re back at last.” Cheng Zhi hugged me vigorously.
I tried desperately to push it away, but in vain.
“Didn’t you say you were going to say it face to face? Let go of me and say it properly.”
“What?”
Cheng Zhi’s tone is not like lying, my heart sank, someone sent that message in the name of Cheng Zhi. The first person who jumped out of
my mind was Gu Yao.
“Huan Huan, don’t go, okay?”
“Brother, you let go first.”
“Don’t call me brother!” Cheng Zhi suddenly became angry and clasped my shoulder. The alcohol made him stand unsteadily, and I fell to one side.
Cheng Zhi stared at me, his eyes were red, and there was madness in his eyes that destroyed everything.
Such eyes make me afraid.
“I love you Huanhuan, and I regret it.”
“I admit it. I love you. I’ve always loved you.” The words I
once longed to hear are now only ironic and frightening.
Cheng Zhi suddenly pulled my face and pressed his body very close, and the thick smell of alcohol sprayed on my face with his breath.
“You’ll come back to me, won’t you?” Cheng Zhi’s voice sounded calm, but there was a strange light in his eyes, with a trace of madness.
I nodded at him, trying to compose myself.
“Huanhuan, call my name.”
“Cheng Zhi, I will come back to you.”
“We’ll never be apart, right?” Cheng Zhi raised his hand and touched my face gently, as he did when he was a child.
“Well, no separation.”
Cheng Zhi heard the answer he wanted and smiled, as if he had lost his strength and fell to the ground.
I breathed a sigh of relief.
“It’s too cold on the ground. Shall we go to the sofa?” I coaxed Cheng Zhi.
Cheng Zhi nodded obediently, and I supported him and let him lie on the sofa.
He kept talking to me, and I followed him and coaxed him.
I don’t know how much wine he drank, but he soon fell asleep.
I just realized that I was in a cold sweat just now.
I wanted to call Lin Hui and ask her to take care of Cheng Zhi, only to find that the mobile phone was missing. When I looked up, I found that the mobile phone had fallen into the entrance and the screen was still on.
I went over and bent down to pick up my cell phone, but I was stunned.
Mobile phone is the interface of the call, the call time has been more than 20 minutes, the caller is Qi Sang.
My heart was suddenly very flustered, and the blood seemed to coagulate in that moment.
“Qi Sang?” I called softly. There is no sound in the
mobile phone.
“Qi Sang, are you listening?” My hand holding the mobile phone is shaking uncontrollably.
The other party hung up the phone.
I dialed back in a panic and turned it off.
My heart sank to the bottom of the sea.
I left the key to Cheng Zhi’s house, sent a message to Lin Hui, and rushed home. There is no one
in the house. There are also couplets and window grilles on the
table that we want to paste.
I knew it was impossible, but I went to Live with a glimmer of hope. He wasn’t there.
Gu Yao. Yes, Gu Yao!
I saw Qi Sang’s ID card and vaguely remembered the address.
Standing downstairs at Qi Sang’s house, the memory of meeting him at the age of thirteen seemed to be more vivid.
I remember Gu Yao’s house, knocked on the door but no one answered.
I crouched feebly in front of the door, already anxious to cry out, so good Qi Sang, he must be very sad.
“What are you doing on my doorstep?”
I heard footsteps and looked up, and Gu Yao came up the stairs.
“Do you know where Qi Sang is?”
You can’t find Qi Sang? Cheng Huan, you’d better go to find Cheng Zhi.
“Ku Yao, it’s really you.” So what if
I sent the message? I wanted to take Qi Sang to the scene to let him see your true appearance, but before I finished speaking, Qi Sang hung up my phone. He really trusts you. But I never thought you would reveal your true nature. Gu Yao sneers, with a proud look of hatred.
“Ku Yao, do you know where else he’s going?” I don’t care about her cynicism. I just want to find Qi Sang.
“I advise you not to find him. He hates betrayal.” Then Gu Yao pushed me away and opened the door and went into the room.
It was getting dark, and the lights were lit up.
I did not know where to go, wandering aimlessly, looking at the lights of thousands of families, tears like rain.
Today was supposed to be the first New Year for Qi Sang and me, and the warmest New Year for each other from childhood to adulthood.
Qi Sang, where are you.
Suddenly the mobile phone vibrated, and I opened it in a hurry. It was a message sent by Cheng Zhi with Lin Hui’s mobile phone.
“Sorry about today.”
“Cheng Chih, you’re a good brother, but for me now, that’s all.” I type this sentence and send it.
After a long time, I received
“I wish you happiness.”
I know, between me and Cheng Zhi, finally passed.
I put away my cell phone, took it out again, and tried to dial Qi Sang’s phone, but it was still turned off.
Suddenly he lost his strength and sat on the side of the road.
The whole street is quieter than usual.
A loud engine sound came from far and near, and several teenagers roared past me on their motorcycles.
A place suddenly flashed through my mind!
I took a taxi to my destination.
As soon as she opened the door, Sister Ning saw that it was me, and she looked a little reluctant to speak.
“Sister Ning, Qi Sang, are you here?” I looked forward to her answer, but I was afraid of the answer.
Sister Ning sighed and motioned with her eyes to the small room inside.
“Sister, it hasn’t been easy for Chi Sang since he was a child. Don’t hurt him.” Sister Ning finished and walked away.
I pushed the door open and went in, and saw Qi Sang curled up on the sofa and fell asleep. Cigarette butts
all over the floor, empty cans.
But I didn’t see him for a day. His lips were a little chapped, his tall body was shrinking in a narrow space, and his eyebrows and eyes were haggard.
Such a cold, arrogant and unruly man is now like a wounded beast, aggrieved and pitiful.
My nose was sour, tears fell out involuntarily, and a tear fell on his forehead.
Qi Sang’s eyelashes trembled and he opened his eyes. When
his blank eyes saw me, he was stunned, incredulous, surprised, and then calm down.
But the dark eyes were filled with surging emotions.
“I thought you wouldn’t come back.” Qi Sang’s voice was hoarse.
“Why not go home?” I choked up.
“It’s all your traces.”
“I’m afraid I’ll go crazy.” He spoke softly, again as if muttering to himself.
I could no longer control myself and cried on his chest.
This fool, a big fool.
“Cheng Huan, don’t cry.” Qi Sang touched my head gently with his hand.
I raised my head and looked at him with tears in my eyes. “Qi Sang, take me home.”
Qi Sang clasped me into his arms, his hands trembling slightly.
“Okay, let’s go home.”
As soon as I entered the house, I was pushed behind the door by Qi Sang, and the door closed with a bang.
Qi Sang circled me and buried his head in my shoulder socket. “I miss you so much.”
His voice was muffled, and he sounded very aggrieved.
“Qi Sang, I cheated Cheng Zhi today. He drank too much. I’m afraid..” Before
I had finished speaking, Qi Sang’s kiss fell on my lips, and his breath came to me.
“Say it, Cheng Huan.”
“Tell me.”
His eyes were as pious as a believer’s. My
heart was so hot that I put my hand around his neck and put it against his forehead. “Qi Sang, I love you.”
Qi Sang was almost red-eyed. He suddenly picked me up, strode into the bedroom, and gently put me on the bed.
“We will not die.”
We are the light of each other’s salvation in the night.
The night is thick, sultry without knowing it.
Record No.: YXX1jppOQ2iOOOXEPzTPM3Y
First love, old love, new love
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