27. Lighting allows growth
It’s the light that grows.
Love rises with the wind: with your twilight and four seasons
He was born to save his brother from leukemia. He loved me for many years and I liked his brother.
After all, why don’t you like light?
When missed to be sorry about you and the one he was, how’s he doing?
One.
When I was five, I moved into a big house with Mom.
That’s the country I’ve never seen of Fury.
I thought I’d run away from drinking and gambling and domestic violence against our biological father.
But I didn’t think my mother’s new mother-in-law was a mean old woman who used to complain.
She thinks it was my mother who made a fool of her son.
Mom used to wipe her tears by herself after being bullied by old ladies, and I saw them.
I’ve never brought up my suffering in front of a mother who is in a difficult situation.
There is no shortage of comfortable and spacious rooms in the mansion, and the servants have their own clean houses.
And I live in a dark, humid house like a basement, where mosquitoes love it.
And I just pretended to say to her, “It’s cool not to turn on air conditioning in summer.”
Mom never noticed why I was wearing long sleeves in summer.
I’m the only one who knows that my clothes are covered in rashes.
Every time my mother’s eyes were damp and stopped talking to me, I hated it even more.
I thought I fell from one abyss to another, but I didn’t expect to see 20 years of light.
That day I accidentally broke a bowl.
I was in a cold sweat with a bang.
I fell unconsciously to pick up sharp pieces and accidentally cut a long mouth.
The blood went down, but I couldn’t stop.
The old lady came out of her room.
I know, I’m going to die.
“You’re a good-looking, hairy-looking man, looking at all the carpets that are so expensive. I’m sorry.
I didn’t talk anymore and walked out the door.
“The girl who came from the country was so cold, so I had to clean up. I’m sorry.
The gruesome scoffing of the back was filled with thunderstorms.
The face was covered with beads, and I could not tell whether it was tears or rain.
Blood on the finger has been washed clean and clean.
Only that white wound reminds me of the pain.
The wet clothes were on my skin, and for the first time I felt the cold of the sting.
Turns out it’s not just stingy, it’s hearty.
I ran out of the door and I saw a little boy standing behind a beautiful window in the house opposite.
He seems to be looking at me.
The yellow light on the boy’s face. Isn’t it warm in his house?
I reached out with the rain on my face to see his face.
White skin, no blood lips, cold as fear.
So it’s the new neighbor who just moved in yesterday.
The old lady said he had leukemia and needed a bone marrow transplant.
The couple wasn’t supposed to be born again.
However, in order to treat him, his parents had specially designed an in vitro baby for the formulation and had carried out embryo screening.
That poor kid was born to save his brother.
I thought of God, and when I came back, the boy had come to me with an umbrella.
It’s a run. It’s a little faster.
He held his feet up and held my umbrella over my head.
“The rain will get sick. Come home with me. I’m sorry.
I remember that for 20 years.
Two.
His mother ran out of there with the umbrella.
“Sam, how did you get out of this rain? Come home with me, you’ll get sick. I’m sorry.
“and she’s coming home with us. I’m sorry.
He pulls my hand, it’s cold, but it warms me for so long.
His house was just as gorgeous, as it was, and his heart rose to an aversion.
He took me to his house, pulled a towel out of his drawer and helped me wipe my wet hair.
He also handed me a hot milk.
“You’re so cool. I envy you. I’m sorry.
I had an accident, and I couldn’t tell if what he said was true.
“It must be a pleasure to run in the rain, but I will die. I’m sorry.
His sincere eyes don’t look like lies. I did a little nod.
“at least be happier than being in that house. I’m sorry.
He smiled, coughed a few times, and the pale face got a little red.
“If you’re not happy, you can come to me. Shall I teach you how to draw?” I’m sorry.
It is a hot and tenacious sunflower, but it grows in the dark and humid corner.
I came by myself and shivered with my fingers and touched the dry paint.
“It’s like a man. Do you know who it is? I’m sorry.
I look at the sunflower in front of me as if it was smiling at me.
It was true that he had a poor resistance and that he had been ill for several days after the rain.
But every night, I see that bright and warm light through a small, dark window in my house.
His pale face was smiling and waved at me.
This should be the happiest and most relaxed moment of my life.
Then I started primary school.
Every day after school, I’m sitting alone on the bench till dark.
By the time I got home, they had finished their dinner.
I sneak into the kitchen at night when I’m hungry.
But it lasted only a few days and the old lady found out.
She had the maid lock the kitchen door.
And in front of my mother, I’m sarcastic about the fact that the top beam is wrong and the mother is not a mother.
That’s a bit numb.
I was lying on the bed strangling and suddenly there was a faint light on my bedside.
Following the light, Kato Sam stood at the end of the light.
I was careful out the door.
I saw the sandwich in his hand.
“I’m hungry. Here you go.
I didn’t answer it, just looking at him.
He put a sandwich in my hand and the bread was getting cold.
“Take it, my mom’s gonna make me eat, and you’re gonna do me a favor. I’m sorry.
Looking at his thin, thin back, I was slightly touched.
He’s like a fragile china doll, but he’s trying to protect others.
The next afternoon, he found me on the bench.
He’s got a little sweat on his forehead and a little breath.
Looks like you’ve been looking for me for a long time.
“You’re hiding out here. I’m sorry.
In the moment he saw me, he had a beautiful smile and shook my lunch box.
His incalculable kindness leaves me wonder how to reject it.
“Thank you. I picked up the lunch box.
He sat beside me happy.
“So we’re good friends. I’ll wait here for you. I’m sorry.
The warmth of time has kept me in uncontrolled proximity, and I noded.
Slowly, I don’t feel sorry for the unborn child anymore.
In my little boy’s mind at the time, I wanted to be better because he was good to me.
3
Jiang Ying was born, and the combination was successful.
When Jiang was over one year old, his condition deteriorated and his bone marrow must be transplanted immediately.
That day I watched the couple take the two kids to the car and go to the hospital.
Through the thick windows, I saw Eku Sam crying at once.
I know, it’s guilt. It’s for a year old.
I waited a few months and watched the door every day.
Finally, it’s Ma Sam.
He’s thin.
But I tried to give me a smile.
I know, my light is saved.
4
Maybe it’s because he’s sick, or because of the five years he’s given.
It is clear that Jiang’s father and mother are in favour of Jiang Sam.
I was asked, “What does “alternative” mean, “baby”? I’m sorry.
I showed a surprise look. “How…”
But when I looked at him with expectations and said something to him, I swallowed it.
“Where did you hear that word? I’m sorry.
He has a half-eyed eye, and his shivering eyelashes indicate deep anxiety.
“Mom, tell your brother I’ll always be her alternative. I’m sorry.
I don’t know what to do with him.
Yes, the “option” means “baby.” I’m sorry.
I didn’t have the heart to tell him the truth.
His eyes were brightened and his hands pulled up.
“Is that sister your alternative? I’m sorry.
At this moment, I saw the careful me from the river sam.
For Mom, between me and the family, am I, too, always the alternative?
The evening wind was a little chilly, and I sucked a little bit of acid in the nose.
“No, you’ll always be sister’s preference. I’m sorry.
I don’t know.
One time it was a little late, and when Jiang came home with him on his back with the accident, he took him up with care.
She asked why she was playing with him so late.
They took the car and rushed to the hospital without waiting for an explanation.
But if they could take a good look at the river, they would see his face, his arm and his leg.
Jiang Ting was his mat when he fell.
And it’s you who’s too happy to go home.
There was no emotion in the back of the river watching them leave, except to sit low on the stairs at the door.
When I was in front of him with iodine and gauze, he laughed and his eyes were red.
Sister, you’re not like them, are you? I’m sorry.
Is it different?
It’s actually the same thing.
Even though there is not enough love for the father and mother, it is a good thing that Mao Sam has given him a great service.
Until the age of 10, when he was riding on the road, he accidentally hit the dog she loved.
The old lady jumped out of the yard and picked up her dog.
“If I didn’t save your brother, you thought your parents would give birth to you? You’re nothing. I’m sorry.
At that moment, I just felt like there was something going on in the brain, and I couldn’t think.
I went up and pushed the old lady to the ground.
“What are you talking about? You’re the only thing in the world. I’m sorry.
I pulled the river behind me and screamed hysterically at the old lady.
It’s the first time I’ve fought against an old lady.
I cannot control the outbreak at this moment.
Not just for the river, but for me for the last 10 years.
The old lady was like, “Well, you son of a bitch, push me, you wait for your mother to take you out of this house. I’m sorry.
She yelled at the maid and took her in.
Regretful, afraid to come to my heart at this moment, I can hardly hold the hand of the river.
You’re a burden.
“Sister, it hurts.”
I let go of my hand and looked at the river.
Sister,
It’s as if the vibrating line is true to my old lady.
The original clear and naive eye of the river is at this moment filled with ink that is indelible.
I felt the pain of my heart like a tear.
I hold his face, “No, believe sister, you’re unique, not for who, and everyone loves you.” I’m sorry.
“Does that sister like me too? I’m sorry.
“Of course, I like you very much. Trust me, okay? I’m sorry.
And We wiped his tears with our fingers, even though I knew it, and I myself choked.
“Well, I believe in sister. I’m sorry.
He pulled his mouth off and pretended to be easy.
But his eyes didn’t look at me.
5
When I came home that day, I kneeled from the day to the sun to keep the old lady from angering my mother.
The sun will come down, but there is something in it that will never be forgotten.
The truth has changed so much that he no longer loves to laugh, to speak and to rely on Jiang Sam.
His eyes are getting colder.
But I was able to catch him, and he looked at me like I looked at Jiang Sam.
It’s a kind of desire for light and bigotry.
He’s no longer called “brother” behind Jiang Shushan.
But every time he sees me, he’s like, “Sister, Sister.”
But gradually, I realized that the way the river looked at me was no longer a mere dependence.
What has become more dark and intensely possessive.
At the school reunion the night of college graduation, I accidentally drank too much.
I declined my classmates to send me home, leaning on the couch.
The morning streets are out of cars and there’s no hope for taxis.
I can’t remember who to call when I look at the phone on the screen.
I walked out the bar with the wall.
Just walked out, a cold attack.
I got my coat together.
Just after the fall, the temperature differential around the clock is always sad.
It’s really not a good habit to drink in an empty stomach.
I bend over, I can’t stop, I can’t stop.
A skeletal hand delivered to me a broken bottle of water.
I did. I said, “Thank you. I’m sorry.
It’s a little less uncomfortable for me.
That’s how you see people.
The river’s eyes were dark, its eyebrows were soft, its lips were a line, and its lower jaws, with a bit of ablaze, were tight.
“How do you plan to go back when you drink like this?” I’m sorry.
He wiped the water off my mouth.
So natural moves make me a little timid.
“Didn’t you come to pick me up, brother? I’m sorry.
And I turned away from him with no trace, and raised a smile that appeared bright.
“I’m just on my way. I’m sorry.
He’s got a hard mouth.
I’m not poking up a lame kid’s lie.
“Come on, go home.”
I walked straight ahead, knowing I was in the wrong direction.
He sneezed and his back to my face.
“Come up, I’ll carry you.”
I don’t see him thinking of me, but I’m just trying to hide.
And behold, I have tarried, and he has come with a gentle saying: I will hold you, and choose. I’m sorry.
It’s like the last blow to crush my psychological defence, and that doesn’t make me hesitate any more.
I fell on the back of the river carefully.
A 17-year-old boy came with a clean breath.
I feel like I’m waking up half.
His back was thin, but he was strong.
Soft short hair swiped my cheeks from time to time, itchy.
“What if I don’t pick you up? I’m sorry.
“Then I will walk back on my own and walk slowly, and I will not fear, and will come.” I’m sorry.
I watched the two of us being pulled out of the light.
“Why didn’t you call him?” I’m sorry.
I looked back, thought for a long time, and I opened my mouth.
“He … is ill, sleeps early and cannot disturb him. I’m sorry.
Jiang Ying didn’t speak, but I felt that his pace was slowing down.
And my head got dazed and I put my head on my arm.
It’s just fine, close to him, but he doesn’t feel my… dependence.
“Sister, besides him and me, I can protect you. I’m sorry.
I think I’m really drunk. Time for bed.
I closed my eyes, and my breath sounded clean, and I listened carefully, and I was confused and unorthodox, like my heart beats that I lost right now.
He’s stiff, but he doesn’t go right through me, like he’s talking to himself.
Sister, how long can you hide? I’m sorry.
Six.
I rarely go back to the home.
But I used to take time to see Jiang Sam.
I like to be in his house all afternoon and watch him paint.
Sunshine will slowly spill over his eyelashes at 4:00 through a beautiful and clean window, leaving a shadow over his face.
I closed my eyes and felt this moment in silence, beauty and ease.
I fell asleep.
Half-dream and half-dreaming, I shaved my nose with my finger.
“The sleepyhead, it’s time to wake up and the sun sets.” I’m sorry.
I stretched out a sloth, looked out the window, and the sunset was hidden, and the stars and the moon jumped.
He looked at me, and his eyes were soft as water.
He looked up and found out he drew a picture of me.
I pretended to be weird, “You painted the ugliest thing I slept in. I’m sorry.
“In my eyes, it’s always the most beautiful. I’m sorry.
He’s got a little me in his eyes.
I don’t know when I began to look away from his love.
He’s the light I’ve wanted for years.
He likes me, and I shouldn’t be happy, but why would I have so much guilt?
“Yo, will you always be with me? I’m sorry.
I tried to ignore other complex emotions and look at him.
“Yes, I’ll always be there for you, just like you were always there when I needed you. I’m sorry.
Maybe his eyes were too hot for me to see.
I pretended to look out the window, “It’s too late. Take a break. I’m sorry.
After the bone marrow transplant of the year, Kato Sam survived, but was not well.
More recently, it was apparent that he was in a weak state and often drew a few drawings that needed to stop and rest.
I said good-bye to him.
It’s like someone opened it.
I went out and found the living room without a light. It was dark.
Only on the balcony is the red red of the twilight, and there’s the hidden smell of tobacco.
I’m back.
It’s like every time I come back, I can run into him and come back from school.
I don’t always come back this weekend.
I was trying to avoid him.
All those years he looked into my eyes and looked into deep love, which I couldn’t respond to.
7
I pulled the balcony door and walked next to him.
“When did you get back? Not a word. I’m sorry.
“You just got home. I’m sorry.
He put out the cigarette in silence.
Looks like he’s been standing by the door for a long time.
“Smoking again, the smell will choke to Ah Mu, he’s in bad health. I’m sorry.
“Just because he’s not well, do you have to favour him? I’m sorry.
The suppressed line is the coolness of his heart.
“Sister, you said you liked me, you made me believe you, I did. I’m sorry.
“I’m sorry.
And I met his eyes.
I like warmth, like light, always, that’s my obsession and my luxury.
I’d like to be the only one.
It’s like another me, skeptical and indifferent.
I saw his hand standing on his side, shivering.
It might be nice if it would take his mind off.
Microside, I’m ready to leave.
He pulled my arm and pushed me to the wall.
The expected pain didn’t show up, and he put his hand on my head.
“Sister, what if I had to rob you? From him. I’m sorry.
“But there’s never been a “if.” I’m sorry.
Maybe it’s being stimulated, like a wounded lion, with red eyes.
He’s down, trying to kiss me.
I didn’t run away. I know he wouldn’t really do that.
We are alike to those who are valued in our own eyes, and they will only be humbled and will not move.
He stopped when he was about to touch my lips. I was right.
Sister, what would you do if I did? I’m sorry.
He pretended to use his hand and touch my hair at random, acting like he wasn’t thinking.
Whispering eyelashes sold him out.
“I will never see you again. I’m sorry.
And when I had said this in peace, I looked at him dimly.
The blue struts of his forehead were ablaze, and his hands were stiffened from my head.
“Sister, you’re so mean, why do you like it?
8
I did not answer because I knew that the answer would be even more damaging to him.
A little bit of effort. I got out of his shackles.
This time, I have a more important purpose: to get my mother out of this suffocating home.
Just walked into the door, and the stepdaughter walked on her hateful hysteria and kept laughing.
I looked at her and this house, and behind them was ugly and indisguised.
My mom and the old lady came out of the house.
“Mom, come with me. Let’s get out of here. I can keep you now. I’m sorry.
Go ahead, I pull her hand up and take her away.
When I thought I could take her to a new life, she broke my hand.
Looking at empty hands, the air reaches the chest with difficulty, leaving me a sense of suffocation.
I know, I’m being abandoned.
I took a breath and I found my voice.
“I’ll only ask you one last time, will you come with me? I’m sorry.
She looked at me with tears.
I endured tears and I stretched out my whole body to reach out to her, shaking and fearing.
“by, I’m sorry.”
She tried to hold my hand, and I collected it the moment she was about to encounter.
I didn’t think she was in love with her stepfather.
For his sake, he was willing to be abused.
For his sake… can you not take my daughter.
Suck a sour nose, I’m not going over.
“Happy to you. I’m sorry.
That’s not what I heard.
No more. I turned around and walked out.
I’m afraid, I’m afraid to look at her again and I’ll take her away.
It’s a lot like that.
Listen to the call to tear my heart apart behind my back. I just feel so sad.
The mouth is bitter and the feet are weak.
Just walked out, I saw a first aid car stop at the Jiang’s door.
A bad premonition rises in an instant.
At this moment, as if the focus had been lost, all the scenery had begun to widen and become blurred in front of me.
9
The doctor got a man out of there. I couldn’t see his face.
But I see it. It’s after me.
My head was blank, and I went up there and threw a piece of it in the ambulance.
I looked at the dying mountain on the stretcher, and I grabbed his hand and it was hot.
“What’s going on, how is he so hot? I’m sorry.
I took back the hand burned by the temperature of his body.
“The patient is suspected of re-emerging acute leukemia, and the situation is less optimistic. I’m sorry.
Relapsing leukemia? Isn’t he getting better already?
“You told me it wasn’t true, you told me, you told me. I’m sorry.
The river filled its jaws, its lips strangling, and it poured me into my arms.
I can’t help it anymore, I’m crying out.
“My mother… I can’t lose him anymore. Please, help him. I’m sorry.
I’m afraid I’m going too far and I’m coming out of my mouth and I’m tearing up the scar of the heart of the river.
It is He who was born to save Jiang Mu Sam.
The hands of my back stopped sharply and my tears wet his shoulder.
“Good. I’m sorry.
The sound of swallows is a great pain.
At the entrance to the emergency room, I sat on the chair with my hands covered, and the river stood next to me gently holding my shoulder.
My father and my mother arrived soon, “What’s going on? I’m sorry.
The mother looked at me and the river and looked in despair and helpless.
“Doctor says it’s possible that leukemia has re-emerged. I’m sorry.
Jiang Ying looks at the flashing lights in the emergency room and opens them in a quiet manner.
I’m the only one who can feel his hand holding my shoulder shaking.
The Jiang mother broke her heart and cried.
That’s what I’ve never seen in this gentle woman.
The emergency room door opened and the doctor came out.
“The patient is now out of danger, but this re-emergence of leukemia is critical, and you must immediately find a formula for a second bone marrow transplant, or else…”
“Doctor, he’s got a model once. He can do it once. Please help my son. I’m sorry.
I know this woman’s always been in love with Jiang Sam, but I didn’t think she’d say that.
For the first time, I saw hate in the eyes of the river.
That kind of deep disappointment, suffocating.
The mother held the hand of the river tight.
“Mother, please give your brother the bone marrow, he will not live without you. I’m sorry.
Sensitivity always captures the details, and Jiang and Sam always shouted.
“You know what? It’s your first time pulling my hand, Mom. I’m sorry.
The emitters stopped and let go of his hand.
“I always wondered why you liked me when I was a kid, until I knew that I was an in vitro baby, a child born to save Sam. I’m sorry.
The hand on the side of the river grew tighter, and I held his hand in silence.
He turned his head and said, “Is it only my brother who died that you’ll like me?” I’m sorry.
10
Father threw a slap at him.
The red mark on Jiang’s face shows how painful the slap is.
He put his tongue on the back teeth and kept staring at me, waiting for my answer.
I understand that he is asking me, not just me, but my heartless father and mother.
The slap just made clear the answer to the question of the father and mother, who will never be important.
And I looked at it, somehow, and I said, “Yes, I’ll like you.” I’m sorry.
He laughed, but the smile was endlessly bleak.
“Will I really not save him if you say so? I’m sorry.
“I know, you won’t. I’m sorry.
As if he had been relieved, “Thank you, sister, and are willing to lie and comfort me.” I’m sorry.
“Doctor, let’s go. I’ll go… I’m sorry.
I followed him.
There’s only one thought I want to be with him.
After a series of examinations, Jiang changed his suit without a word.
I held him in my arms, “Thank you. I’m sorry.
“Sister, it’s the first time you’ve ever hugged me. I’m happy. I’m sorry.
He held me around with a little hesitation.
I held him even harder in silence, so I knew that, as it turned out, Jiang was so skinny.
He wasn’t greedy about this hug and gently pulled me off.
My tears were wiped with my fingertips. “Don’t cry. If you wish him to live, he will.” I’m sorry.
I tried to get a smile out of my head, but the infinity of pain prevented me from lying to myself.
Maybe I’ve been in love with the river for a while.
Eleven.
The operation took place in a minute and a second, and the nervous moment did not relax.
I’m afraid I’ll lose the light of my dark life when I blink.
Six hours had passed and the doctor had come out of the operating room.
It’s the first time I’ve seen it.
The big stone finally fell, and I finally took a breath.
Jiang Shushan is still in the ICU for a few days.
Jiang Tien was pushed into the general ward.
Looking at my father’s father and mother, who have been at the door of the ICU, I feel as if I’ve been suffering for so many years.
Sitting by the bed, watching the bed still in a coma.
I slowly spread his hands and put my cheeks on his hands.
Cold hands, but they give me peace.
It’s only in the middle of the night that I’m afraid of this warmth.
“I’m sorry, I can’t hurt him without me. I’m sorry.
“You’ll understand me, won’t you? I’m sorry.
12
Au waking up quickly and he turned his head.
I know, he’s looking for me.
I went up and held his hand, and he reached out with the other hand and touched my face.
“It’s good that you’re still around me. I’m sorry.
His voice is weak and dumb.
The broken lips were ripped open by the smile, and the blood stinged my eyes.
Yes, Aru, I’ll be with you as long as you need me.
And We made some warm water from the cotton-marks, and lightened his lips.
Soon after the surgery was completed, Ah Mu fell asleep again.
I was told to go back to bed. She’s here.
I nodded my head and walked out of the room.
I was tired and I couldn’t help but notice that I was at the door of the ward.
The hand reached out of the subconscious was strung back when it touched the cold door lock.
I pulled my mouth off.
“You taste this. I’ll make you soup with my own hands. Especially nutritious. Come on, I’ll feed you. I’m sorry.
The blood is as if it were condensed at this moment, and I hear the master of that voice.
It’s a college student. It’s just a lovely girl.
Last time I met her, she came to see him.
The excitement and the love that came out of her eyes when she mentioned it was not a lie, and she was very fond of it.
Mann, I’m not hungry. You don’t have to come. I’m sorry.
“If I don’t come, I’ll come.” I’m sorry.
The words of young girls are true and firm.
Maybe he’ll be happy with such a warm man around him.
A moment of sight, a moment of self-receiving, and a moment of re-emergence.
I’ve become the cold, distant Qinjie.
If there’s a next life, it’s better if we meet in the sun.
13
In the morning, I bought some food to send to Mau.
The door in the ward was not so tight. I saw Jiang Ting sitting next to Amit.
I didn’t want to disturb their time alone.
“I didn’t think you’d survive. I’m sorry.
The river opened its mouth with a small amount of emotion I can’t understand.
“Thank you, brother. I’m sorry.
Brother? Well, isn’t it your special bone marrow bank? I’m sorry.
Silently, he put a pillow on his back.
“Don’t thank me. Thank you. I’m sorry.
Breathe, he’s always calling me sister.
Qin Yui, the obvious distance makes me panic.
Something seems to be leaving me.
“Take good care of her, don’t leave too soon to break her heart, take care of her for me… I’m sorry.
It was 10 years later that “I” left the river there, and it was only then that I made a sound.
What does that mean? I’m sorry.
I’m looking out the window.
“That’s what it means, I let go, I’ve applied for study, I’m out of here. I’m sorry.
The quiet and slow tone carries with it an irreversible rejection.
The lunch box fell on the ground and shocked the two people in the room.
Beholding the porridge of the earth, I was overwhelmed.
Jiang Jing opened the door and watched me burn my back, and my eyebrow snuggled.
His subconscious hugged my hand and then he just pulled me aside.
He went as fast as the wind, and his back was getting farther away from me.
It’s like I’m back on my feet.
“Hello. Where can I get a bandage?” I’m sorry.
“The burns can go to the fifth floor, where there is a burn clinic. I’m sorry.
“Thank you, please clean room 306. I’m sorry.
He pointed to the ward and saw me coming.
He came up to me, “Come on, take care of it on the fifth floor. I’m sorry.
Following him in silence, I felt a little peace of mind.
The pain on my feet returned to consciousness, and I walked with a limp and very slow.
All of a sudden, it stopped and looked at my feet.
Sneaking, he hugged me.
And when it was the first time that he held me in his arms, I had a strange sense of familiarity.
This feeling is strong and can easily be lost and irrational.
When I tried to reach out and set my hand around his neck, he had taken me to the door of the dressing room.
He put me on the stool and asked the doctor to check my injuries.
“Are you going abroad? “I restrained the tremors of my voice and kept calm.
“Hmm. I’m sorry.
“How many years?”
“I don’t know, maybe a year or two, maybe…”
Alone?
“No, with Man. I’m sorry.
Lynn, will they be together?
“Do you like her?”
Uncontrollable. I asked for the first time about his personal affairs.
“I think I’ll like it, she’s kind, warm, and most importantly she won’t lie to me.” I’m sorry.
This time, he looked me in the eye.
The eyes itchy, and I looked down, and I rubbed them, and I left a moist spot on my hands.
It must have been too hard, some pain.
“It’s… it’s good to have someone with you. I’m sorry.
“It’s not very bad. Just watch out for the next few days. I’m sorry.
“Thank you, Doctor, but she’ll be my sister-in-law soon. I’m sorry.
14
I don’t know how I got back to the ward.
The phrase “sister-in-law” was like an invisible hand holding my heart tight, making it hard for me to breathe.
Jiang Zheng has never lied to me, and his words will never fail.
His unbridled face seemed as if he had never been in love.
“Where have you been? I’ve been looking for you. Guess what I brought you? I’m sorry.
Lim Wen saw the river rushing in.
Her hands were behind her back, and her eyes were bright and bright.
The meaning of love in the eyes is so focused, so obvious.
Jiang Yan shakes his head.
It was like he thought something, and he hesitated to reach out and touch the head of Lin Man.
He’s saying goodbye to himself.
Even when psychologically prepared, my eyes are sorely stung by distant intimacy.
“When it’s our passport, you’ll be discharged tomorrow and we’ll go straight to the airport. I’m sorry.
“Well, it’s fun. I’m sorry.
“Yu, I’ve brought rice to Jiang. It’ll be cold if I don’t eat. I’m sorry.
She pulled the hand of the river and he didn’t hide.
I’m looking at Jiang, hoping he can say something to me.
This is probably the last word between us.
But his lips were covered, and he said nothing.
Slightly noded at me and turned and left.
Feels like I’m losing a little bit of my energy, and I stand up.
Until their figure disappears around the corner of the stairs.
I got down against the wall.
“Why are you here? Is there something wrong?”
I don’t know when she left the ward.
“I’m fine. I’m a little dizzy. Just take a moment. I’m sorry.
I stood up against the wall.
Sitting by the bed, I suddenly forgot what I was going to do.
“Amu, are you thirsty? Let me get you a glass of water. I’m sorry.
“You just poured me a glass. I’m sorry.
“Oh, well, I’ll open the window and get some air. I’m sorry.
I went straight to the window.
“Yo, it’s raining outside. I’m sorry.
Yeah, it’s raining. It’s raining so loud.
“I’m leaving the country. I’m sorry.
I looked out at the rain, and I couldn’t look back.
“Well, I know. I’m sorry.
He said he might never come back. I’m sorry.
“…mmm. I’m sorry.
Fortunately, the rain was heavy enough to keep my stomach out of the rain.
“Are you going to send him? I’m sorry.
I pretended to clean my hair and take the humid eyebrows with my fingertips.
“No, it’s not life and death, not to mention he’s just the brother of the neighbor. I’m sorry.
The door opened.
Jiang Jing is at the door.
He was able to recover his normality soon after a flash of injury.
Put it in my hand. “This burn is good. It’s good. I’m sorry.
If you turn around, you’re leaving.
“You need me to help you out tomorrow. I’m sorry.
I asked him, with my last hope, if he said so, I would…
“No, I’m just a neighbor’s brother. Why are you here? Isn’t that right, sister-in-law?”
He smiled pretty cruelly.
I didn’t think I was the one who couldn’t let go.
15
The following afternoon, Jiang Jing was discharged as scheduled.
I was by the ward with Aru, but I couldn’t help but look out the window.
Suddenly, a familiar figure appeared before my eyes.
He was standing next to a girl who jumped.
Lim Wen came to pick him up.
Their back looks really good.
I sensed my disillusionment and A-Muh shot my hand.
“I want to send him. I’m sorry.
“Amu, I don’t understand you. I’m sorry.
I was avoiding his eyes and trying to hide the panic that had been pierced.
“You can fool anyone, but you can’t fool me. You like it. I’m sorry.
“No, Moe, I like you, I don’t like you. I’m sorry.
I consciously grabbed his hand to make him believe, but it was more like convincing myself.
He shakes his head gently and is still a gentle eye, but at this moment he is covered in blood.
“You didn’t like my feelings, you chose to be with me, just to repay me. I’m sorry.
It’s hard to say these words, and it’s getting paleer and paleer.
No more denial, no more silence, and I opened my mouth.
“Amu, if you only knew, I’d always be with you, that’s enough. I’m sorry.
In front of Aham, I knew that every lie I made would be easily seen by him.
“Yu, you always fall asleep while I’m painting, you always say dreams in your mouth, and in your dreams, you say them over and over again, the name of the river. I’m sorry.
Pupil contraction, I lost my point in time.
Ah Mu had discovered my secret.
The silence was long, and a smile opened up.
He pulled his hand out of my hand.
“Don’t worry about me. I have so many people who love and guard, but the river offers him and you alone. I’m sorry.
I’d like to say something, but it’s just silent.
“Put your brother back before you go. I’m sorry.
He pretended to open his arms to me.
I held him gently and by myself.
The fragrance of wood mixed with the smell of disinfectant water filled my nose.
Not too much to stay with, Amura opened me up.
“Well, just give me a hug. I’m not gonna have a girlfriend who treats me like my brother. I’m sorry.
He laughed, but his eyes were sore.
“Amu, I’m sorry, I thought I could fool myself, I thought I could…”
Scratching my tears softly, and Mu touched my head like his brother.
“Go on, he’s got an hour to board. I’m sorry.
I was so busy looking out the window that Jiang Ying was out of my sight.
16
I ran out of the hospital and looked at the cars and people on the road.
I stopped a cab in a hurry.
“Teacher, go to the airport. I’m going to send someone important to me. I’m sorry.
Maybe I heard my voice with a cry and master couldn’t afford to drive without a moment.
I called him over and over again, but nobody answered.
You have to wait for me.
On the way to the airport, there was a sudden traffic jam.
Looking at the slow-moving traffic, I gave my wallet to Master and opened the door and got out of the car.
I ran fast because the tears of my eyes were blown away before they could fall.
And that day We did not find any place before.
I’d like to ask the staff to help me find Jiang, but I can’t swallow a full sentence.
Passengers to London are advised that your flight CA 855 is about to take off and that unregistered passengers will be on board at gate 6…
I turned around and saw Lin Man, who was boarding the plane, but not the river.
Where’s Jiang-Ling? I’m sorry.
She was astonished by the way I was acting, and she said, intermittently, “Jang offers him and suddenly he says he’s not leaving today and has just taken his luggage back…”
“Did he say where he went?”
“None. I’m sorry.
“Thank you. Have a nice trip. I’m sorry.
When I learned that he had not left, I was relieved and my mind slowly returned to my brain.
But where would he go without boarding?
17
I went back to Jiang’s house and found out he didn’t come home.
I went back to the bar, the cafe he used to go to…
I found out that I knew his habits so well.
I’ve watched him for years without realizing it.
When I finished looking for the last place, I sat down on the street.
Where are you going?
Many years ago, a conversation happened in my head.
Where do you go when you’re unhappy? I’m sorry.
“I will go to the sea alone, and I always feel the pain will go away with the tide. I’m sorry.
Yes, seaside, to seaside.
I ran all the beaches around the city.
Finally, as the night approaches, I see the river’s offering.
He sits alone by the sea and blows the sea wind.
The thinness of the back is heartbreaking, and there is a sense of fragmentation that will disappear at any moment.
I slowly walked over and sat down next to him.
“You just got out of the hospital and you came to blow the sea. I’m sorry.
I took off my coat and put it on him.
He was surprised, he was open and he didn’t say anything.
“Why suddenly decided not to go? I’m sorry.
‘Cause I haven’t said good-bye yet. I’m sorry.
He turned his head and looked far away at the tide.
“What brings you here? Shouldn’t you take care of him now? I’m sorry.
“I came to make what I said come true, the tide is down, the pain is gone. I’m sorry.
And We lifted up his hand gently, and went into it from between his fingers, with his ten fingers.
He’s frozen and I hold his hand and he won’t move.
It’s just a bit unreal looking at our folding hands.
“I used to think that I could only live with the light. But now I find that I can also be a light for others. I’m sorry.
“You want me to be your light? I’m sorry.
The surrounding environment suddenly became quiet, with only the sound of the rocks being slapping with the waves.
High and low, clouds and clouds.
The rest of the sunfall is full of shoulders.
That evening’s tide was a few points later than usual, and the evening is a few more than usual.
Seagulls fly free and without fear on the sea.
The river smiled, even with tears in its eyes.
That’s the happiest smile I’ve ever seen.
It’s like a little deer who’s lost in the forest and hurt.
“Sister, if you’d asked me how good it would be, I don’t want that light now. I’m sorry.
18
“How can a dead tree seedling be revived by the re-emergence of sunlight? I’m sorry.
He pulled out his hand and stood up.
Qin Yui, you’ve got something you haven’t lied to me about, the tide is down, the pain is gone. I’m sorry.
He put his clothes back on me. “The sea is cold at night. Watch it. I’m going. I’m sorry.
I didn’t take his hand, “Will you go to London?” I’m sorry.
“Yes, I will. I’m sorry.
No more strength. I let go of his hand.
I cried so loudly, but I never looked back.
Three days later, he left the country without informing anyone.
19
After two years, he recovered well under the care of his parents.
I used to visit him.
I went to the door of Jiang Ying’s house, and this time I finally decided to go in.
The house was clean, there was no dust, like waiting for the owner to come back.
I know, it’s Ah Mu who cleans up every day.
Open the cupboard, touch the clothes that the river passed through, as if he were with me.
Suddenly, I saw a fine box behind my clothes.
My name is inscribed on the box.
I took the box out with a book and a picture.
5 July 2002
This was the saddest day of my life, and my neighbor’s grandmother said I had come to this world to save my brother.
I cried and asked Mom and Dad if it was true, and they said yes.
I hate them so much that I don’t want to lie and comfort them.
Only my neighbor’s sister will protect me, and I must protect her.
I don’t know.
13 May 2007
I saw him kiss her while her sister was asleep.
He’s a real pain in the ass. He’s already taken Mom and Dad, and now he’s gonna rob my sister.
My sister is mine, she said she likes me, and I keep it in mind…
I don’t know.
21 September 2012
My sister came home today and I asked my teacher for leave in advance and took a day’s ride home, but she said she would stay with him.
So she doesn’t like me?
I don’t know.
There is an occasional ink stain on the lines, which is a sign of tears dropping accidentally.
A photograph of my 10 years of anger and sadness is already yellow.
On the back of the picture was another line he had not said to me.
Cover the box, I can’t stop thinking.
Are you still waiting for me on the other side of the planet?
I’ve been waiting for you.
You never came to me, but I can’t wait.
20
I bought the latest flight.
Just one bag, no luggage.
Because I just want to see if there’s anyone there.
If he lives well, I won’t disturb.
I got off the plane and stood in the corner of his building looking for his shadow.
From day to evening, the sky began to snow.
I reached for a snowflake and soon melted at my fingertips.
Looking at the blurry distance through the fingertips, I saw a familiar figure, two.
Im Wen’s umbrella was backed up by Jiang, and they came by laughing.
I turned around and tried not to let them find me.
Soon, they went into the building side by side.
Has he taken her home?
Are they already together?
The snow is getting bigger.
Subconsciously smoked out of his pocket.
But whether it’s a cold weather or a shaking hand can’t light it.
Smiling in the corner, putting away the smoke, I’m leaving.
“When did you get so scared? I’m sorry.
21
I haven’t seen him in two years.
He held his umbrella over my head.
“When did you get here?” Why didn’t you tell me? I’m sorry.
“I’m… on business, just on my way. I’m sorry.
I made up a reason, and I couldn’t look at him.
“What hotel does that sister live in? I’m sorry.
“I live nearby. I’m sorry.
“Does my sister lie to me again? I’m sorry.
“I … didn’t. I’m sorry.
And We were hastening to explain to him, but we fell into his eyes, full of smiles.
“Sister, you’re here on your own this time and you’re not leaving. I’m sorry.
“You’re already with her. I’m sorry.
I think about their closeness.
“Is sister jealous? I’m sorry.
Quietly.
Wen’s boyfriend is upstairs. I picked her up. I’m sorry.
“So you have no girlfriend? I’m sorry.
It’s like there’s a wind when the matches are about to go out, and I’ve got a little hope.
“Yes, I have a girlfriend. I’m sorry.
The light that just lit up faded, and I knew that everything was nothing but my luxury.
“Just now, my girlfriend found me. I’m sorry.
“I finally became the preferred option. I’m sorry.
Note
I thought only those who lived in bright and warm had the right to save others.
But then I found out that salvation was never one-way, and that both men of cold sex could warm each other.
The lighting is the nature of all things, and reverse light is a positive choice.
You’re chasing your own light, and you were someone else’s light.
22
Seon-sung.
When I first met Qin Ying, I thought she was a poor little girl.
Homeless in so much rain, it’s like a chicken drop.
As soon as I was impulsive, I took her home.
But I don’t know, it’s been too long for her.
So she’d mistake me for the light of her life.
Later, I stayed home because I was sick.
At night, we’ll be with each other through the window every day.
In that day, I suddenly felt sick and nothing terrible.
At least one friend will be with me.
But I didn’t think I’d fall in love with Qin.
When Jiang was over a year old, my condition worsened.
He’s still so young, he’s going to suffer the pain of pumping bone marrow.
That was my first fight with Mom and Dad.
I said I’d rather die than let my brother give me my marrow.
That day, Mom and Dad told a very cruel truth.
They said that this brother was made for me, that he was made for me.
I look at my brother in the baby car, and I feel terrible about it.
I swear, I’ll give all my love to my brother.
I did keep my promise, but a few years later my brother learned the truth.
He started deliberately alienating me, but I know he still loves me.
My heart struggled with the fact that the look of Jiang Ying was not innocent.
It’s not just for your sister. It’s for a man to possess a woman he loves.
I’m starting to panic, and I’m trying so hard to keep Yuki with me.
I’m sure of it over and over again.
Every time I came back to visit, I pretended to come by the river.
I tried to lie to myself, that was just the love of my brother.
Until I fell asleep next to you, I was unconsciously whispering that name.
But fate is really fair.
I owe it to the river, but I’ll pay it back.
But what I didn’t expect was that my illness would re-emerge.
Although Jiang Ying saved my life again, he pulled me back from the gates.
But I understand that I can’t last much longer.
Maybe if I let go, I can make up for some of my deep guilt.
Even if it hurts so bad, I let go.
I stood in front of the window and I looked like I was chased out.
I know, I’ve lost a lot in this love fight.
But what I didn’t realize was that Jiang Li chose to leave the country.
I saw the box hidden under the bed while cleaning up the river.
In the two years since Jiang Ying left, I have watched the light in my eyes dim.
I couldn’t bear to see her go on like this.
I kept the secret of the river hidden under my bed in my closet.
I hope Koichi will see one day.
This day, the door in the river’s house is irrelevant.
I think I’m already on a plane to London.
At this moment, I sincerely hope that they will be happy.
(concluded full text)
Author: Winter
Case number: YXX1yYYYYYvc2arGK4Srpwz
It’s a double.
Love rises with the wind: with your twilight and four seasons
Wait.
x
I don’t know.
Keep your eyes on the road.
