First love, old love, new love
. The day I found Song Zhihuai betrayed me, he told me frankly that he fell in love with someone else, and soon after breaking up, he officially announced the girl.
I’ve seen them kissing sweetly.
He promised her that he would get married after graduation, which he also said to me.
1
Hello? Brother Song, is Song Zhihuai in the dormitory? I called him and he didn’t answer.
Today is my third anniversary with Song Zhihuai. I didn’t tell him I would come. I wanted to give him a surprise.
But I called him for nearly half an hour, but I couldn’t get through, so I had to call his roommate.
“Ah, it’s the younger brother and sister.”. Is Zhihuai not with you? I heard the front desk at the All Seasons Hotel calling him yesterday, and I asked him if you were coming over today, and he said yes.
I was stunned.
He said Song Zhihuai went out an hour ago and asked me to go directly to him.
I thanked him and hung up the phone and stood by the roadside for a long time before I suppressed the suspicion that spread from the bottom of my heart.
It’s not that I deceive myself, but that I really can’t believe that Song Zhihuai will have an affair.
I took a taxi and went straight to All Seasons.
Sitting in the car, I was still a little flustered for no reason. When I
arrived, I negotiated with the front desk and she told me Song Zhihuai’s room number.
By the way, she told me with a complicated expression that he came with a girl.
In a flash, I felt as if I had fallen into an ice cellar. I nodded my head in a daze. “Okay.”
The receptionist left me alone, but gave me a sympathetic look at the end.
I sat on the sofa in the hall and didn’t go up to him or call him again.
I just sat and did nothing.
I do not know how long, the dawn gradually.
Among the people who checked out one after another, I waited for Song Zhihuai and the girl.
I recognize her as a school girl who once sent water to Song Zhihuai.
Song Zhihuai saw me almost as soon as he walked into the hall, and he didn’t even have time to put it away.
“Ah Yu..” He stayed where he was and frowned at me.
I looked at the person in front of me and suddenly felt as if I didn’t know him.
I know Song Zhihuai, five years ago, when he saw the bruises left by domestic violence on my body, he would hold me tightly, let me not be afraid, and tell me that he would take me away when I graduated.
Three years ago, when I took a graduation photo, he confessed to me with a red face. In the deep winter of
two years ago, he came to me by high-speed rail overnight because he was worried about my injury.
Even half a year ago, I was still in his arms, fantasizing about getting married together.
In the three years we were together, he took good care of me, and even though we were in different places, I never lacked the sense of security.
However, such a good one will also derail him. Song Zhihuai and
I are childhood sweethearts, from junior high school to high school in the same class. When we
first met, my family had not been torn apart. Like him,
I am just an ordinary student in an ordinary middle school. The
difference is, he was tall then. In the second
year of high school, my mother’s derailment was discovered by my father, my parents divorced, and my mother gave up my custody. When
my father went to work, he was still the same as before, but after work, he would drink and beat me.
He pointed to his nose and scolded me for not being his own, dragged my hair against the wall, and told me to die.
That day, I went to school with bruises on my head. Just after the first class, I was pulled to the corridor by Song Zhihuai.
“Who did it?” He stared heavily at the bruise.
I didn’t want to tell him. I felt too embarrassed, so I touched my head and laughed. “Tell me about it. I hit myself at home last night.”
I turned to look at him seriously. “Does this affect my status as the most beautiful girl in the world?”
“Don’t be ridiculous.” He frowned. “Did you accidentally knock on your head, or on your arm?”
I followed his line of sight and saw the arm that had accidentally leaked out, which was also bruised.
“Who called?” He took a step closer.
I leaned back against the wall and looked out of the window. “Song Chih-huai, when are we going to graduate?” Song Zhihuai and I were sitting in the corner of the flag-raising platform when the bell rang for the
second class.
Holding the coke in my hand, I lowered my eyes and told him everything about my family.
He looked at me like he was wondering how he could help me.
I smiled faintly. “Don’t think about it, Soong. There’s nothing you can do.”. We have a serious preference for boys over girls, and no one, whether uncle or aunt, is willing to take the lead.
“Then call the police.”
I shook my head. “This injury is nothing. The police will educate me at most.”
The next second, I felt my wrist being held tightly by him.
I know there’s nothing he can do. It’s not easy for him to be brought up by his mother alone when his father disappeared. We
don’t have the golden finger at the beginning. We are just ordinary high school students with ordinary family and study.
We may not even be ordinary, and a little miserable.
I shrugged my shoulders easily, trying to ease the atmosphere, and said with a smile, “Actually, it’s not always like this. He only does it when he’s drunk. It’s quite normal.”
“Jiang Yu.”
I slanted my head to Song Zhihuai’s line of sight.
The boy’s clear black eyes had the firmness of a teenager. He slowly leaned over and hugged me. “Don’t be afraid. In a year, we’ll take the exam and go to other places together.”
I heard his choking voice: “In another year, I will take you away.”
His words were like a torrent, overflowing the dam I had built to resist the outside world, and my emotions burst in an instant.
I buried myself on his shoulder, sobbing and crying.
I regard Song Zhihuai’s words as the pillar of faith to support me through that dark year. During the whole year of
senior three, he sometimes pretended to come to my home to study with me, so that I escaped several beatings.
But also only avoided a few times, after all, frequent contacts with a boy, will become a new reason to be beaten.
After struggling through that year, Song Zhihuai told me that he could not go to other provinces with me. On the eve of
the college entrance examination, his mother was diagnosed with chronic glomerulonephritis. In order to prevent it from deteriorating into uremia, he had to stay in the province to take care of her. When
he told me, his tone was so bleak that he didn’t even dare to look up at me. I’m
disappointed, but I’m not angry about it. I
stood on tiptoe and flicked his forehead. “If I can’t go, I won’t go,” I said with a deliberate smile. “Why is my head drooping like a dog?”
Sung Chih-huai also looked at me and said with a laugh, “Do you want to die?”
I ran away and made a defiant face at him.
We broke up the relationship on the day of the graduation photo. After
everyone left, Song Zhihuai and I wandered aimlessly on the playground.
His school uniform was open, his hands were in his trousers pockets, and he was undisciplined and ruffian.
“Jiang Yu.” He suddenly stopped.
I also stopped and turned to look at him. “Huh?” The big boy
of 1.87 meters suddenly looked a little coy and blushed for a long time. There was still some sweat on his forehead in the hot sun.
I vaguely guessed what he was going to say, so I waited quietly for him to speak without urging him.
I.. I like.. Like..
“Me too.” I bent my lips.
Clouds drifted by, the sun was covered and appeared again, and the sun fell on each other’s shoulders again.
He suddenly stopped being nervous and smiled silently.
“I know.” He said.
Throughout the holidays, we have been exploring the novelty of love. The
first time I kissed him, he was so nervous that he bit my lower lip.
“Hiss!”
He quickly backed away and looked down at me. “Ah Yu, did I bite you?”
I looked at him at a loss, his ears were red, and I just felt cute.
I covered my mouth to keep him from looking. “Yes, it hurts,” I said in a low voice.
Song Zhihuai pulled off my hand, pinched my chin and looked up. He leaned over and touched the wound
again. “I’m sorry,” he whispered.
He kissed the cut lightly and apologized for his rampage.
I felt as if my face was burning, so I buried it in his arms and let him say nothing. I only saw
his green and astringent in the summer night dotted with cicadas that year.
Later, after breaking up, when he was with the school girl, he was like an old hand who had been in love for a long time, without any shadow of that year.
Song Zhihuai and I looked at each other for a long time, but he was still holding his school sister, without the slightest intention of letting go.
The school girl looked a little embarrassed instead.
I waited quietly for Song Zhihuai to check out.
“You go back to school first.” He patted the school girl’s hand and said in a gentle voice.
I clasped my hand at my side. After
leaving the hotel, we sat on a bench by the roadside.
“We’re not right for each other, Yu.”
I looked at the red mark on his Adam’s apple and asked, “It took you three years to suddenly find out, didn’t you?” How uncomfortable
I am in my heart, how calm I am on the surface.
Song Zhihuai doesn’t like me anymore. It’s meaningless to cry with him. It’s useless except to show that I’m noisy and procrastinating.
I took a deep breath and calmly rebuked him: “Song Zhihuai, it’s not that we’re not suitable for each other. It’s that you’ve changed your mind. It’s that you’ve fallen in love with someone else.”
He looked ahead and acquiesced to my explanation.
Song Zhihuai said, During the epidemic last year, you were trapped in Tianjin for more than two months. During that time, you were busy working during the winter vacation, and she was always by my side.
I nodded. “Well, that’s why you cheated.”
He looked down and smiled. “Just hear me out.”
He had no bad temper and went on to recall, “When I came home on vacation, I knew that her home was very close to mine and that she would come to me when she was free.”. My mother always told me not to let you worry and asked me to keep a distance from her. I didn’t always like her, but then..
Song Zhihuai told me that he had seen that the epidemic situation in Tianjin was better, and he wanted to come to Tianjin to see me.
But as soon as he arrived at the railway station, he received a phone call from his school sister, saying that his mother did not know what was going on. Suddenly, her waist was so painful that she could not even stand up straight. She was taking his mother to the hospital.
He stopped a car to go to the hospital. The result of
the examination was nothing, but if the school sister was not there that day, I don’t know how long his mother would be in pain.
“So you’re moved?” I asked. “Yes,”
he admitted with a nod, “but I liked her later.”
I heard this with my own ears, and my nose was sour. The heart seemed to be clenched by a hand, and it was painful and breathless at the same time.
Sung Chih-huai went on to say to himself, “That night, I was lying on the hospital bed, and I thought we were really not suitable.”
He slanted his head and looked at me. “Ah Yu, we’ve both suffered too much, and we’ll suffer even more when we’re together.”. I can’t offer you anything better. The reason why the
scum man broke up is that he said it very seriously, but it still can’t change the fact that he cheated.
I couldn’t keep calm and asked in a cold voice, “Then you could have broken up with me at that time, but you chose to cheat on me.”
He laughed at himself. “Maybe it’s because..” He paused. “I can’t bear to part with you.”
I heard him choke. “Ah Yu, even now, I think I still like you.”
The midsummer morning breeze makes me cool from the outside to my heart.
I think it’s the weird weather.
The air was silent, and I did not respond to his twisted psychological confession. After sleeping with someone else,
he admitted that he liked her and said that he was reluctant to part with me. He wanted me to understand that affection did not mean single-mindedness.
But if you don’t talk about single-mindedness, what qualifications do you have to talk about affection?
Song Zhihuai got up and interrupted my trance.
He looked in the direction of the school and said, “I’m going back. You can go back to Tianjin, too.”
He said, “It’s still a little cold. You can find a milk tea shop for a while.”. Now, I can’t give you my coat either. It doesn’t fit.
I laughed and pulled away from him. “You know, I’ve been hurt a lot because my mother cheated on me. I hate cheating the most.”
His eyes were a little dim.
I said the last words to him: “Now you’re cheating, so we’re not breaking up amicably.”. Sung Chih-huai, don’t ever show up in front of me again.
Because you’re sorry for me.
I walked away from him without hearing his footsteps and without looking back.
The sun gradually has the temperature, I am glad that today is not a rainy day, the body gradually filled with a warm feeling.
I stopped a taxi on the side of the road and went straight to the train station. The radio in the
taxi just played “Star and Moon Myth”.
Jinsha’s voice followed the electric current: “If we had been brave enough to be together, would we have had a different ending?”
I opened the window and let the wind blow in.
The wind is so strong that I can’t hold the tears in my eyes.
I sniffed and nonchalantly wiped the tears from my eyes.
The driver duly handed over a box of tissues from the front and did not speak. I opened
the window as wide as I could and let the wind howl in to block out my cries. It
won’t. It won’t end differently.
If we hadn’t been together, I think the only difference is that I wouldn’t be more sad than I am now.
In my opinion, the most suffocating thing in one’s life is not to miss, not to be separated from life and death, but to have a good life, and the reason for the final loss is not any external factors, just because it has deteriorated.
It became rotten and unable to save the day.
If I were not such a face-saving person, perhaps today I would ask Song Zhihuai, “Do you still remember what you said?”
He once told me with the most fervent and earnest heart that he would marry me. After the
college entrance examination, I finally went to school in Tianjin, a thousand kilometers away from Song Zhihuai.
But the distance doesn’t seem to be a barrier between us. We make video calls every day and meet on holidays.
He joined their school’s basketball club and became even more dazzling. When I was in
high school, I sat in the audience and watched him play basketball, and I knew that he played basketball very well and often slay the whole court.
At that time, there were junior school girls who brought him water, and the university was no exception.
But I never worried about Song Zhihuai. During the
National Day holiday, he bought me a plane ticket and asked me to find him.
I know he probably can’t leave, and he has to take time to accompany his mother to have a check-up. The money he earned from his
occasional job was always used to buy me a plane ticket. I refused several times, but he ignored it.
Later, when I had a video chat with him, I sternly asked him to return the ticket. Slowly, he exhaled a cigarette from his
cell phone, lowered his eyes and pulled his lips. “Don’t go on forever,” he warned. His voice dropped. “I didn’t want you to take the train for so long.”
I knew he was doing his best to be nice to me, so I stopped refusing.
But he was very frugal, and the few times he came to me, he basically took a hard seat on the train. When I
got to their school, he took me by the hand and walked around. When he met someone he knew, he would say, “This is my girlfriend.”
In the evening, he took me to invite his roommate to dinner.
One of them drank too much and began to make jokes: “When are you going to get married?”
I opened my mouth to say that we had been together for less than half a year.
Song Chih-huai was the first to say, “I’ll let you know when the date is set.” At the end of the
dinner, Song Zhihuai sent me back to the hotel. Remembering his words, I asked him leisurely, “What day did you say?”
He drank a lot and his mind was a little dull.
Hearing my voice, he winked slowly. “Huh?” His eyes were full of confusion.
I swallowed my saliva, but I didn’t think he had such a lovely side.
I cleared my throat and repeated it again before he finally understood. His eyes,
full of drunkenness, were particularly earnest. “Our wedding day,” he said, word for word. I was so teased by
his straightforward words that I pretended to be indifferent and turned away, leaving him behind. Like a big dog afraid of being abandoned,
he quickly caught up with me and took my hand compulsorily.
I turned my head away from him, but I didn’t let go again. When he
reached the downstairs of the hotel, he stopped in his tracks and said, “Go to bed early, Ah Yu.”
I looked at his eyes, which were still blurred, and suddenly took a step closer to him. I stood on tiptoe and leaned against his ear and said faintly, “Little Song, would you like to come up with me?”
Admittedly, I just have a mouth addiction, and I still don’t have the courage.
I didn’t expect his reaction to be so violent.
Sung Chih-huai suddenly stepped back, shook his head, and sternly refused: “No, I won’t follow. I won’t go.”
I looked at his attitude of being afraid to avoid it, and my mind went blank. Does
he dislike me?
I looked at him, and you.. What do you mean?
He didn’t notice anything unusual about me and said with a serious expression, “Not before marriage.”
I was stunned, and he was more conservative than me.
“Why?” I asked.
“Because I am responsible for you.”
Song Zhihuai really did not touch me before marriage, as he said.
But at that time, I never thought that he would sleep with someone else. The first cold war between Song Zhihuai and
me took place in the second semester of freshman year.
The college has a city-level oral competition, but there is only one place.
I competed with a girl with similar scores, but the instructor finally chose her because she had higher credits in the club, which proved that she was more lively and adaptable. This is the first time I have heard
such a far-fetched reason.
Ignoring the embarrassment of the teacher’s explanation, I nodded to her and turned away. On the way
back to the dormitory, I received another call from the shopkeeper who did odd jobs.
He said I didn’t have to go in the future. It was the off-season and I didn’t need to hire someone. He was busy alone.
I hung up the phone, as if the pressure in my heart was more stuffy.
I called Song Zhihuai to hear his voice and listen to his comfort.
Unfortunately, he didn’t answer.
I put my cell phone back in my pocket and went straight back to the dormitory.
I had a deep sleep and was woken up by two prompts from my mobile phone.
I unlocked it in a daze and clicked on the WeChat, which was a photo sent by Song Zhihuai’s roommate.
“Younger brother and sister, Comrade Soong is not honest. He takes water from other girls behind your back.”
In a flash, the irritability I had accumulated all day reached its peak at this moment. In the
photo, Song Zhihuai, wearing a Jersey, stood in front of a sweetly smiling girl who was handing him water. A
few minutes later, his roommate said, “Jiang, I’m just kidding. I know Huai didn’t take anyone else’s water.”
I took a look, but I didn’t reply.
I sat on the bed in a trance, my heart was very upset, but I couldn’t get any energy. The sound of the rain
outside brought back my thoughts.
I remembered the sheets I had hung outside and quickly got out of bed to collect them.
I stepped on the steps beside the balcony to collect the sheets, and when I came down, I turned around subconsciously, but my right leg did not follow.
Then I heard a clear sound of bone dislocation.
The right kneecap was suddenly dented, and I turned around in pain, and it bounced back into place.
“Ah!” I cried out in pain and thought I had broken a bone. Before
my roommate came back, I didn’t dare to move, so I had to stand with one leg bent over.
At this moment, I finally couldn’t help crying out. Everything in
one day seems to be against me, and everything is not going well. Fortunately
, my roommate came back quickly, threw down his bag and helped me to the hospital.
Song Zhihuai called when I finished the film and sat in the hospital corridor waiting for the results.
I looked down at the caller on the screen for a long time, and a few seconds before hanging up automatically, I raised my hand to pick up the phone.
“Ah Yu, I’ve been playing all afternoon today. I kept my cell phone in my bag. I didn’t hear you call.”
“Oh.” I answered.
His tone became cautious: “Brother Song told me that he sent you that picture. Are you angry?”
I tapped my leg unconsciously with my finger and said casually, “No.”
“I didn’t take her water.” Sung Chih-huai explains cautiously, “I told her at the time that I had a girlfriend, and that she should stop bringing me water.”
“Pretty good.” I say.
Roommate came over and shook the bag. “The film is out. Let’s go into the consulting room.”
I nodded.
Sung Chih-huai paused and asked, “Where are you?”
I stood up slowly and said with pain in my voice, “I’m in the hospital, so I won’t talk about it.” As soon as the
voice fell, I hung up the phone and walked into the consulting room with the help of my roommate.
There’s nothing wrong with it. It’s ligament damage, but it also needs to be nursed for more than half a month. On the way
back, I ignored a dozen missed calls from Song Zhihuai and only briefly returned his WeChat.
“Ah Yu, are you hurt?”
“Mmm.”
Song Zhihuai didn’t send another message, and I didn’t wait. After the
emotional breakdown, I was just tired, and nothing could make me feel emotional anymore.
Almost back to the bedroom, I immediately fell into bed and slept. I
probably went to bed too early, and I woke up at 4 o’clock in the morning.
Song Zhihuai sent a WeChat.
I blinked and watched as I got used to the light.
“Ah Yu, I’m downstairs. When you wake up, come down and I’ll take you to breakfast.”
I was busy looking at the time again, and the message was sent half an hour ago.
The whole person wakes up in an instant.
I gritted my teeth and dragged my swollen leg and went downstairs quietly.
Through the glass of the laundry room on the first floor, I saw Song Zhihuai. At the dawn of early
April, it was still cold to the bone.
But he only wore a thin assault jacket, which was suitable for our province. His face fell when he
saw me limping close.
I opened the window and put him through the fence.
“What’s going on?”
“What are you doing here?”
We spoke at the same time.
Song Zhihuai asked again after a meal.
I sat on the windowsill and told him what had happened, and then he asked me to lift up my trousers to show him.
He frowned at the swelling and pursed his lips. “Does it hurt?” He asked.
I nodded. “That hurts.”
When he wanted to say something else, I interrupted him: “I’m going to ask the housekeeper to open the door for me first.”
Song Zhihuai nodded, his eyebrows never loosened.
I used my swollen leg as an excuse with the housekeeper, and she let me out.
As soon as I went out, I was held in my arms by Song Zhihuai.
I stood on the steps one step above him, with half of my face buried in his shoulder. He was so
cold that he was obviously very cold.
But even so, he didn’t want to wake me up.
“Sorry.” His tone was heavy and apologetic.
I ducked in his arms and whispered, “I forgive you.”
He came to me overnight after six hours of high-speed rail, and I was no longer holding on to trivial points.
At this time, even the commercial street outside is not open.
Not willing to let him go on freezing like this, Song Zhihuai carried me to the nearest hotel to rest. When
I leaned on his back, the ginkgo tree beside me slowly retreated, and my impetuous heart seemed to have finally found a place to settle down, and was no longer calm on the surface. The dim light on the
horizon, the dim street lamp, the silent dawn, Song Zhihuai and I.
At that moment, I really looked forward to the future with him more than ever.
Song Zhihuai came in a hurry and left in a hurry.
His class was no less than mine, but he came to me without hesitation.
I think about the past.
So, even though he said that during the period of the epidemic in Tianjin, the school girl accompanied him and did her best to “dedicate”, I did not suspect that he had someone else.
Because, apart from the decrease in the frequency of video chat, he has hardly changed.
He will still care about everything about me, worry about whether I wear a mask, whether I am squeezed by the leadership, and buy things for me from time to time.
But now that I think about it, what he did was no longer because of love, but because of guilt.
He is sorry for his change of heart and infidelity, paving the way for his derailment. When
I returned to school, it was my roommate Wu Lin’s birthday. I pulled her to drink a lot
that night, and finally I fell into her arms and burst into tears.
My heart seemed to be crushed back and forth, and the pain was so painful that I could only hold the clothes tightly in an attempt to relieve the pain. In the dead of
night, I fell into a deep sleep.
Finally, in the depths of my dream, I met Song Zhihuai when I was a teenager.
He was wearing a high school uniform, still an open coat, with a little ruffian smile.
But that was the last time I dreamed of him.
For a long time, I couldn’t do anything, and I was very perfunctory in class.
I always thought that I pretended to be as if nothing had happened at a good level, but in fact my roommates just didn’t break me a little, and all three of them were careful to maintain my face which was not worth mentioning. The classes in the late
junior year are getting tighter and tighter.
The school was afraid of another outbreak of the epidemic, so it planned to finish classes two weeks earlier.
In the mountains of papers and exams, I have no time to muddle through.
Until the end of the exam, the roommate had begun to prepare for the postgraduate entrance examination and chose not to go home.
I didn’t have anywhere to go, so I stayed in school. On the New Year’s Day of
2022, I wrapped myself up and sat in the corner of the playground.
I clasped my hands together, and all the words I said were white with anger: “In the new year, Xiao Jiang should live a serious life and get better and better.”
And, and, I must forget him.
But the funny thing is that a few days after New Year’s Day, the hospital in my hometown called me.
My father is in the hospital for alcoholism. I have to go back.
When I went home to get my father’s certificate, I saw Song Zhihuai and his school sister in the distance. Under
the bare elm, he was kissing her.
I stood quietly and suddenly felt that it was not a good thing that my eyesight was so good that I didn’t need glasses.
Song Zhihuai’s kissing skill has become skillful now, and the school sister blushed and was forced to accept it. At the end of the
kiss, I don’t know what Song Zhihuai said in a low voice, which made the school sister hit him shyly.
The two men said and came to me.
I was at a loss for a moment, then put the big hat of the down jacket on my head, and the mask covered the lower half of my face. I lowered my head, and others could hardly see my face. When
Song Zhihuai pulled the petite school girl over, I pretended to look down at the circle of friends.
Neither of them noticed me.
As I passed by, I didn’t cast a glance to the side.
I heard the voices of two people.
“Sung, Chih, and Huai, you promised me that I would get my license when I graduate!”
Sung Chih-huai smiled, his voice full of affection, and said, “Good.” My
speed did not change, and I walked past as usual, like an unfamiliar passer-by. A news item just popped up on
my mobile phone, and I stared at the screen without blinking, but I didn’t see anything.
I didn’t know how far I had gone until I heard no more footsteps.
Moments are updated at this time, and I subconsciously pull down to refresh.
It’s a screenshot of Song Zhihuai’s roommate complaining in the dormitory group. Song Zhihuai didn’t say a word in the group after he came home from vacation.
The caption above is also somewhat humorous. When you
have a daughter-in-law, you forget your roommates. They are really plastic brothers. Of course, if you don’t want me to be with you when you get married, then forget I said anything! When
I clicked on it again, I couldn’t see it in the circle of friends. It seldom snows
here, even in the cold days. I looked up at the sudden snowflakes and couldn’t help wondering.
I turned off the screen of my mobile phone, put it in my bag and sniffed.
“So it’s so cold this year, but I still want to come back less.” I stamped my stiff foot and left as if nothing had happened.
Leaving behind an avalanche of snowflakes.
When everything was done, I immediately bought a ticket back to Tianjin. Sitting in the taxi to the train station
again, the standard is the old car radio.
It was an early morning when the snow began to melt, and before the sun came out, it was so cold that the master could not help turning on the heating to the maximum. On the
radio, the host read with emotion a letter written by an anonymous girl to her ex-boyfriend who was about to get married. When
reading the end, the host sighed with regret.
This is the eleventh year of our acquaintance, the eleventh year of my love for you, but also the fourth year of our separation. Years later, I no longer struggle with the reason why you left me. Now, I can send you a wedding wish in peace.
“I think you are the villain who left me to run away first, but at the same time, you are also my shining youth.”
I looked out of the window with my chin propped up in boredom, and I don’t know how long it took me to find my thoughts.
Song Zhihuai, I thought silently, I am relieved.
When the first warm sun shines on the snow, the snow melts and I drive into the spring.
I thought I would never like anyone again.
When I cried and hugged Wu Lin and said this, she laughed and scolded “fart” directly. After
returning to Tianjin, I was pulled by Wu Lin to play games for a period of time. It
was euphemistically called that she wanted to divert my attention, but in fact no one played with her. The first time
I was pulled into the match by her, I was beaten in a mess, and I was bantered by the opposite side to send my head thousands of miles away. It was at this time that
I met Chen Shi.
He took the opposite five kills in silence and destroyed the other side directly. The
voice is the excitement of teammates shouting “666”.
Chen Shih did not respond, but simply typed a few words without emotion: “Who is the person who sent the head?”
At this point, I feel a little different.
Wu Lin quickly sent me a WeChat: “Jiang Jiang, why don’t you say thank you to the big brother?”? Although they are younger than you, the skills are here, and it’s not too much to call them big men. How do
you know how old he is?
Wu Lin took advantage of the time to reply to me: “Isn’t Chen Shi a sophomore?”? Should be younger than us. Only then did
I know that he was my immediate junior, and he was in the same club with me.
As Wu Lin said, I thanked him by adding Chen’s WeChat through her.
I felt that one sentence was too pale, and finally added, “If there is anything you don’t understand in the club, you can ask me.”
Chen Shih thanked me and said, “If you don’t know anything about that major, can you ask your senior?”
“Yes.” I didn’t think too much when I
replied to Chen Shi, but I didn’t think he really had so many questions.
Senior sister, where is the classroom for the club meeting? I can’t find it. Can you take me there?
Senior sister, can you lend me the final review notes of your sophomore year?
No notes? Can you help me with my lessons when you are free?
Later, when my cell phone rang, Wu Lin would smile meaningfully and say, “Did Chen Shi send it to you again?”
I looked at her in silence and did not answer.
Wu Lin looked serious. “Jiang Jiang, you can’t let a scum man occupy your youth for too long.”
I can’t help thinking, how can I have any youth? My youth was spent in darkness and gloom.
I thought Song Zhihuai was salvation, but he let me know that no one can be relied on.
I looked at her with a straight face. “The moment I returned to Tianjin, I put him down.”
I told myself the same thing.
Chen Shi’s confession was expected.
I struggled for a long time, deleted and deleted before I finally typed out a euphemistic and safe refusal.
The other party did not hesitate long before he replied with a message: “OK, senior sister, what is the theme of tonight’s club speech?” Ah? His attitude was as usual, but I was embarrassed.
I collected myself and then returned the WeChat to him.
I thought it was over, but half a month later, he made another serious confession.
“Didn’t I give you the answer last time?” I’m a little helpless.
His tone remained the same: “OK, I’ll come back and ask later.”
Chen Shi later explained to me that he didn’t want to push me too hard, but he also wanted me to know that he had always liked me and had never given up. On the way back from the club dinner
that day, probably because of the alcohol, I told him about my terrible past.
I don’t want to be miserable, I just want to tell him that after I have been hurt so much, even if I am with others again, I will not be so easy to communicate with others.
He patted me on the head and sighed. The first time
I saw you, it was a club meeting. You stand at the door of the classroom and call your boyfriend, your eyes arched with laughter, and you look harmless to people and animals.
I listened to him, but I didn’t expect him to pay attention to me from then on.
“But when it comes to your speech, you become very serious again, and you look like a different person from the one who just called.”
Chen Shi looked at me with a smile and said, “I hope that one day, when you face me, you can smile like that again.”
I was stunned and suddenly realized that he was telling me that he would use time to prove that he was a person worthy of my heart again.
Moisten things silently.
This sentence is used to describe Chen Shi just right. It took
him a whole semester to prove his true love in every word and deed.
And I also walked into the love river named Chen Shi unconsciously. The name of
Song Zhihuai is getting farther and farther away from me until it fades away in the long river of time.
I also finally understood my initial stupidity.
I still have the right to accept new feelings.
Even if I had been badly hurt before and left a psychological shadow, I shouldn’t punish myself for it.
I should continue to stand in the sun and face the sun.
So, that day, when Chen Shi said “I like you” again.
I smiled at him standing in the sun.
“Let’s be together.”
I haven’t seen Song Zhihuai for a long time. I saw him
again three years after I graduated from college.
I was assigned to work in a subsidiary company, and my immediate superior was Song Zhihuai.
“Long time no see.” He looked at me for a long time and spoke slowly.
I was stunned for a moment. Then, “General Manager Song.”
A word reminds each other of their identity.
Song Zhihuai came to his senses and lowered his eyes and smiled. During my lunch break
at noon, he walked over to my workstation and asked, “Would you like to have dinner with me?” He seemed to think something was wrong, so he added, “Just think of it as an old friend catching up.” I
thought I had nothing to say to him except work. “General Manager Song, I’ve already made an appointment with my new colleague.”
He looked at me for two seconds and then left in silence. When Chen Shi came to pick me up after work
in the evening, I mentioned it. Although
he said he didn’t mind, he put forward awkwardly before going to bed at night that he would take me to and from work every day.
I buried myself in his arms and rubbed it with a smile. “Good.”
The next morning, after Chen Shi sent me to the company, I just got off, Chen Shi caught up with me.
“Don’t you think you’re forgetting something?” His tone was arrogant and awkward.
I was stunned for a moment, and then I thought of something. I trotted over and kissed him on the side of his face. “Let’s go, Xiao Chen!”
His ears were a little red and he let me go with satisfaction. When
I was waiting for the elevator, Song Zhihuai had just arrived.
I had no intention of opening my mouth, but Song Chih-huai asked, “Your boyfriend?”
I had to respond, “Yes.”
“I can see that he likes you very much.”
I recalled Chen Shi’s proud appearance and couldn’t help laughing out loud.
Sung Chih-huai tugged at the corners of his mouth, somewhat self-deprecating. “Seeing you happy, I’m very happy for you.” When the
elevator arrived, I said nothing and went in by myself. At the
first meeting, my PPT went wrong and I was choked by the supervisor.
Song Zhihuai defended me indiscriminately in front of everyone.
All of a sudden, I had an affair with him.
But Song Zhihuai, the client, did not care. Occasionally, he would ask his secretary to help me make an extra cup of coffee, and sometimes he would bring me some afternoon tea.
Although I didn’t ask for any of these.
I don’t understand what Song Zhihuai wants to do now.
But in such an environment, I really can’t devote myself to my work.
Besides, this is not fair to Chen Shi.
Half a month later, the situation did not improve, and I finally made up my mind to apply for transfer back to the headquarters. On the night of the
transfer order, I received a strange call.
On the other side was Song Zhihuai, whose voice was full of drunkenness: “Do you want to leave because of me?”
I answered him frankly, “Yes.”
“Do you hate me so much now?” I
didn’t want to reply with such meaningless words, and when I was about to hang up the phone, he shouted again: “Jiang Yu, I broke up with her very early. I’ve been alone for so many years.”
“It has nothing to do with me.” As soon as the voice fell, I hung up the phone.
The moment before I blacklisted him, I received the last message he sent.
“Sorry.”
I pulled him into the blacklist without a trace of hesitation. Why did
Song Zhihuai apologize? He owes me too much, how can it be erased by a pale word? After
that, I went back to the headquarters.
Later, I never heard the news of Song Zhihuai again. The youth who
once illuminated my whole youth has long disappeared under the polishing of reality.
Record No.: YXX1jKKJB4mtxxxRKMOC9ld
w Prisoner
Love First Love, Old Love, New Love
Rong Ange, etc
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