4. Unfinished confession
Unexplained confession
Love rises with the wind: with your twilight and four seasons
“Are you Miss Fu Qing? I’m sorry.
“My husband left you $150,000 in the inheritance.” I’m sorry.
1.
When she first saw Isabel Wong, she assumed that she was not a national and that, although she was a Chinese face, her hands were raised to work abroad.
She’s waiting for me at the front desk of the company, with a stack of documents in her hands and a nice arm line.
When she saw me, she held out her hand and asked me, “Are you Miss Fu Qing?” I’m sorry.
I nod my head. I can’t feel my head. Her eyes were vehemently hostile, and there was undisguised confusion and inquiry.
She took a deep breath, “My husband left you $150,000 in the inheritance. I’m sorry.
I thought she was joking. “Miss, but I don’t know you. I’m sorry.
“I’m Isabel. She handed me the stack of papers.
“My name is Wong. I’m sorry.
It’s all in English, I’ve cleaned it up, I’ve looked at it, a man named Kevin Yang, and I’m sure I don’t know him.
But indeed my name is in the line of the donor, even the year of birth.
Towns are so big that they can hit ghosts in the daytime.
I hesitated to return the document, “Miss Wong, I think there’s been a misunderstanding. I don’t know your husband. In fact, I don’t think I have any friends living abroad. I’m sorry.
The woman groaned, raised her arms, and the other hand went into the bag and took out her cell phone and showed me a photo.
She was smiling at the mirror with a male on the corner of the blue sky green grass.
I turned my eyes towards that man. I’ve heard myself whispering before the brain reacted.
Someone I met a long time ago.
It has been so long that when his face appeared again, the whole person had been detached for a second, like a super-charged computer system, to crawl from the beginning to the end of his memory, to search for him, to find out from thousands of faces and all the memories associated with him. The fuselage is burning.
Isabel looked at me, “Do you know him? I’m sorry.
I was in the wrong place, and I knew I was acting like a fool from the beginning to the end, but I couldn’t think of it, and it’s been so painful.
He died.
He died.
“He is, Young-seok. “He’s my high school classmate. I’m sorry.
The woman on the other side was waiting for me to continue, and she must think that there was something else besides high school students, why else would I be given a large inheritance?
But I did.
Me and Yangs, that’s all.
I am the most common working woman in the city. I am paid a fixed salary for nine to six nights and take the subway to work and check my son ‘ s homework every night before sleeping.
Suddenly, I was hit by a piece of inheritance as if it were a nice city talk.
It was no easy task to figure out why a high school boy who had lost contact for years would leave me with a large sum of money before he died.
Isabel Wong said he might have fallen in love with me during school.
I’m dumb and I’m laughing, Young-seok?
No way.
I said, “How? We were competitors, you chased me, we hated each other. I’m sorry.
Strangely enough, the student age is roughly the most linear period of the standard of the human race, with the number of names posted on the porch at the end of the month determining the order of three-sixths.
And We and Ying-Si and Yang-si (Yun-Si) cut back and forth from the top of that thin sheet, as if there was only one of them.
“Sorry, I can’t take the money. I looked at Isabel Wong and said, “I couldn’t have taken what I didn’t own until I didn’t know why he left me the money. I’m sorry.
Isabel’s yellow shrug, “How are you going to find out? I’m sorry.
That’s a good question.
Almost 20 years after graduation from high school, there was no smartphone and no social network account, and there was no trace of it until we had friends.
Now that technology is well developed, any hard-won question, if you enter a search box, you can always find an answer.
But not this one.
Young-seok, why did you give me a lot of money?
I took a cab to my parents’ house after saying goodbye to Isabel Wong.
And so far, my parents have kept my bedroom, which has something in place to keep me from going to college, like my own museum of history.
I moved home several times after I was a grown-up and threw away a lot of old stuff every time, but at this point in time I am glad that my parents have kept memories of my childhood in order to find answers to this pending case.
Upon the day-to-day questioning of my parents, I was finally free to enter the old bedroom, drinking a big bowl of pig belly chicken soup.
There it is, a year-old photo is in the schoolbook, and we’re wearing the blue and white uniforms, and the first-class teachers dress up with the old school, and now look like we’ve seen it.
I was a short-haired, clean-haired boy, with some unwritten rules at school, and the shorter the girl with the best grades, the more she’d look at her studies, the more she’d look like she’d done it. The students were girls with problems in the eyes of their teachers and had an average of two out-of-school boyfriends, and were covered in school bags with hairy nail polish.
Young-seok stood in the last row, standing straight, with his broad shoulder sank down, and looked so long and silently at the camera. Because of the age of the photographs, and the near and far-flung principle, his five officers were almost blurred, but any adolescent girl had an extraordinary instinct to see him in such a large picture of dozens of people, pointing at his face smaller than the nail cover, and asked, “Hey, is he your class lawn? I’m sorry.
He’s got a good grades, a good family, and sounds like a jealous son of God.
But he died.
So all the luminous qualities of the student age that envied so many of our classmates were so small.
In this long run, you were the first to quit the race, and no matter how powerful you are, your name will no longer be at the end.
I dropped my graduation photo and was hit by a kind of nothing. I’ve been looking around for a long time, and I finally cut off my phone.
“Don Lou, do you remember Yangs? He seems to have died recently. I’m sorry.
Tanglu was one of my best-known high school girls, and then we filled out two universities in the north and south of the country. The friendship was interrupted for a while and then returned to the city and reconnected.
In recent years, as a result of being busy getting married and having children, relations have diminished, and friendship between adults has been difficult and requires time and effort.
After a while, the cell phone shook several times, and there were incredible questions and exclamation signs on the screen.
And she said, “Oh, my God, I remember him. How did you know that? I’m sorry.
I’ve made a decision not to reveal a series of troubles related to Isabel Wong, but to say the least: “Do you remember who was in the class with him? I don’t know if there’s any contact with him in recent years. I’m sorry.
The input cursor on the other side has been blinking for a long time, and it’s like it’s been typed and deleted, and I’m in the middle of a line of words, “Are you not his best friend?”
I was like, “Did I? I forgot. I’m sorry.
It’s been a long time since Donlue said anything.
I went around the living room and washed a bunch of fruit for my mother and fell down the stairs once, like I was trying to make time go away. Once again in the bedroom, there was an unread message on the phone screen.
“Please, Fu Qing, we all knew you were in love with Yang. I’m sorry.
I reported to the biointerest group in the first year of my high school, and I wanted to do some extra work, because I’ve been doing a normal job in biology.
It is not surprising that the biology teacher is a young man with a low level of interest, and his biointerest group is planning to go into nature with its members on a regular basis, with a leaf sample mission to collect every weekend, or to observe small animals living in the wild.
Such activities have not helped to increase the number of rolls, and there have been a number of dropouts since the end of the semester, and I have barely supported them, but my parents have little words for me to bring home every weekend with my feet full of mud.
The first year of high school has not yet been divided, and I don’t know Yangs, but he’s the leader of the biointerest group. He was skinny, had long hands and legs, and was running fast in gym class, which seemed to fit well in the field. When he arrived at his destination, she was able to unload the weights on her arms that did not belong to him, and the girls came together immediately and took out the water cups and other things, and chatted around him.
I’m tougher, and I think that girls are not physically weak, so I’ve been carrying my bag, and I’ve been watching Young-seong and the girls with their hats on the sunscreen, and I’m a little smug.
On a Friday after the midterm, I went to the lab to retest the plant cell observations, and that was the first time I talked to Young-seok. What did he do in the corner, and the sound of my microscope on the table scared him, and he turned to me and said, “Are you in our biointerest group?” I’m sorry.
I noded my head, and I asked for courtesy, “What are you doing? I’m sorry.
“I’m playing with the teat. I’m sorry.
“Huh? “Is this a biowork this week?” I’m sorry.
I was afraid I’d missed my teacher’s homework.
“Not really. He looked up at me, smiled, and said, “Take it easy. I found it in a small pond behind the dormitory. I’m sorry.
“Oh. “I’m going to put my heart down. This was supposed to be the end of the conversation, but I made a terrible question, “Is there a frog in the mountains? I’m sorry.
Yangs stood up more than I had a head, and he smiled at me, “Well, it’s possible. Want to see it? I’m sorry.
The leaves faded in varying degrees after the late autumn, from the bottom of their feet to the sky, and their horizons were painted in a layer of green and light oranges, with the slopes of the hills like the backs of the little beasts, which were twirled with hair. I followed Young-seok with my feet down, and in a few moments I realized that I was lost in a living palette.
Young-seok raised his hand in front, “This is my pond. I’m sorry.
I’m going after it, and there’s plenty of water in the weeds and rocky rocks, and there’s silvery little fish under the water. It’s like a micro-bioworld.
I crouched on the surface with my fingers, and the waves rose up, and I was like a obnoxious giant monster to disturb their private lives.
The reflection of me and Young-seok may have been hot on the surface, with his long-sleeved pants in his school uniform, his two tiny little pebbles on his knees, standing behind me a little bit in the back of my head.
I was a little embarrassed, and I wanted to get up quickly. The cold sense of touch and the shame of the terrible shame were both pouring into my brain, and I struggled with my hands and feet, and then I felt the elbow being pulled, and I was finally wet and dragged out.
“Oh, shit, it’s all wet. I’m gonna die of my parents. “I will be bowing my head and I will take away the moist soil and the water weeds that are glued to me, and I will be in a dilemma.”
Yangs said, “Oh, it’s okay. I’ll go back to the dorm and get a blowtorch. I’m sorry.
I knew he was a student. “Do you have a blowtor? I’m sorry.
“There’s a very narcissistic guy in my dorm who blows his hair every day after washing his hair. Yangs laughed and waved to show me the way back.
At the end of the day, I came home a long time late and made up a lie that my parents had forgotten earlier and then ran back to my bedroom and changed my nightgown. After dinner, as usual, I watch TV on the couch with my parents every Friday night.
In the high school era, there were countless repeated and boring days when it looked like nothing else, except that I sat on the couch and secretly felt my body was hot, and the ground was shaking, as if I were going into some kind of soft, flowing sand.
Soon I will forget the specific process of turning thorium into frogs and the point of knowledge of plant cells in biology classes, but I have always remembered that, in the twilight of light, Yang was carrying a warm wind to my clothes with a blower, and the hair on my neck was blown up.
I don’t know.
I came out of the bathroom, and my tail was wet, and the whole man was evaporating white. The husband watched TV on the sofa, looked at me and looked at the phone on the tea table, “You just got several calls, bang, and you kept calling. I’m sorry.
He had a little bit of consternation in his tone, as if there should not have been such a rush to call me on such a day as to be plain and white.
I left one hand with my cell phone and I knew it was Isabel Wong.
“Hey, hey, isn’t it you out there?” “My husband is kidding me. He has been hoarding fat so fast in recent years, and his belly is rising, and the whole person is trapped in a sofa, like some kind of melon from the head of the soft cloth.
I flipped my eyes, “Crazy.” I’m sorry.
Both of us have easy jobs, a middle income, a decent standard of living, and parents and children have no reason to break this happy water. It also takes courage to cheat, and it is the two young people who have been working hard for years to get married, and not all of us have taken the risk of crushing the foundations, at least neither of us.
I cut the screen and dialed it back, and the voice of the woman was ringing from the microphone, “Hello, Miss Fu?” I’m sorry.
When my husband surrendered with his hands up, I waved my hand, took my cell phone and walked back to the bathroom and closed the door.
“I’m sorry to bother you, Miss Fu.” “What do you think about Isabel’s voice?” I’m sorry.
“Well,” I hesitated, “I think I had a good relationship with Yangs, but…”
They’re suffocating, “Miss Fu, it’s okay. You can tell me everything. I don’t care. I just wish I could get him back to work and go home. I’m sorry.
She mistook me for hiding something from her late husband, and I interrupted, “No, Isabel, you may have misunderstood.” I’m talking about a good relationship in high school, I haven’t talked to Young-seok in recent years, even though I didn’t even know he was going to America. As a matter of fact, Yangs left school for a while before the end of his senior year, until the end of his senior year, when I lost his message to all my class. If you don’t believe me, you can pass with other classmates. I’m sorry.
Isabel was silent for a while, “I don’t know that. I’m sorry.
I remember, “During all your years with him, did you hear him mention me? Or any trace of me? I’m sorry.
“None. “I first saw your name in my will.” I’m sorry.
I was relieved as if I had been cleared, “So, Isabel, I’m as confused as you are why he left me the money. I want to know the answer to that as much as you do. Even more than you. I’m sorry.
Isabel gently, “I don’t need money. I’m sorry.
I thought that she was humiliating me and was going to shout at her, but heard her say, “Kev’s parents died when he was a child, and he was raised by his aunt, but she also passed away a few years ago. I’m sorry.
I was like, “Oh, I don’t know. “I don’t know if he’s in a bad way, because he doesn’t look the same, and he’s one of the city’s many ordinary, open-minded high school boys.
And then I understood that Isabel was trying to exclude all the people that Yangs might leave behind, and to make it a little more legitimate for me to appear on the will list. But even so, excluding his immediate family members, I should not be on the list of heritage gifts.
“There must have been something between you and him. Isabel asked, “Have you ever had any money? I’m sorry.
How is it possible that I sat in the toilet and had this ridiculous feeling, “I was just a high school student in a normal family, how could I have had such a big deal?” I’m sorry.
It’s been a while. “Miss Fu, my visa is about to expire. I’ll be back next month if I don’t know, and I hope this will be resolved as soon as possible. I’m exhausted. I’m sorry, I hope you understand. I’m sorry.
“Aah. I didn’t think about it for her.
That’s weird. I’m stuck here with a stranger.
“What are you gonna do if I don’t take it? I’m sorry.
“I don’t know, I need to consult my lawyer. Perhaps, in his name, it could be donated to a pro bono organization. I’m sorry.
“Ah, I didn’t know how to answer, “That’s good. I’m sorry.
Isabel Wong obviously doesn’t want this money that doesn’t belong to her. She flew all the way to a faraway country to get rid of the money that had come out of nowhere, strange and possibly even implied that her marriage had been betrayed. She can’t take it back.
Nor will We take it as if, when it is taken away, it was as if we had admitted that we had been involved in a couple, and that we had divided a part of the wealth so blatantly.
Young-seok, is this a problem you left unsolved? Why do you want two women to try their best to think about you after you die?
I made a fool say, “Wait, Isabelle, do you want to go to Yangs and the high school I went to?” I’m sorry.
“Why?” she said, “I mean, of course. I’m sorry.
“I think you might want to see where he used to live before you left? I’m sorry.
5.
I had the impression that Yangs and I had spent one night together without warning.
One of the memories was an anchored car.
After entering the second year of high school, the interest class was over, and Yang and I met again in Oleku. He’s a quick thinker, and he can only jump a few steps to the final answer. Sometimes he comes over to see my papers, “Well, how come I’m like you, and I’m being cut off? I’m sorry.
I took a closer look, “You’re a few steps short. I’m sorry.
“Oh, I see. He didn’t care much. “Sometimes I guess the answer and then push it back. I’m sorry.
I’m surprised.
“Yeah. Sometimes guessing the answer is a solution to the problem, and then it turns back to the condition, and the test will know it’s right. He pulls a red pen out of his bag, revises it next to it, and I’m confused. “Fu Chongqing, you’re so good at doing things, you only think from top to bottom. He’s reaching out with a straight move.
I snagged it. It sounds like a crooked solution.
Seventeen I don’t buy.
But Yangs is smart, and I can’t deny that. He spends little time on the pedagogy and teaching aids, and I even doubt that he has never turned them over. I secretly drew a moustache on the face of the leading physicists sitting in their primes, drawing comics and exaggerating glasses, and it was not until the end of the year that he found out that I was chasing me, and I screamed and denied it in a book bag, but my heart was beating.
Because I have a little love in the cover page.
Those inexplicable moustaches and glasses are only my grafts, hoping that one day he will track to the last page of his love, like a detective following a trail, as if such a twisting of the horns was the most poignant confession.
Of course Young-seok didn’t find out.
I was selected with Yangs for the provincial O number competition. The high iron was not a travel tool, and we had a long way to go from school to the cheapest bus. The woman who was supposed to lead the team broke up the day before and accidentally broke her ankle in a drunk drink, missing her time with us.
We were waiting at the bus stop in the morning, left and right, and Yang said, “Please, we’re 35 years old, and we can go to the city.” I heard a smile, so two of our unknown high school students got into the car.
The night was dark too early in the winter, and when it entered the outskirts of the capital city, the car broke down in the middle of the day in blue and black. The driver tried to launch several unsuccessful attempts, and a mid-aged man sitting at the door proposed to push everyone down. The passengers got out of the car and I followed them, and Young-seok was behind me and shot me on the head.
“You pass. * He smiled at me in the dark of the light. *
“Aah,” I put my hand back in the bag. Because of repeated examinations in the car, the examination was kept in the compartment, and instead of pulling the zipper, it slipped under the seat as soon as it stood up. “Thank you. I’m sorry.
Yangs shakes his head, “Fu Chong, what would you do without me?” I’m sorry.
My heart just slipped. I know that he only mocked my carelessness at a critical moment, but his words were soft, one word at a time, and his street lights were faint, and he read his fairy tales like an orange light by the bedside.
Without you, I’ll do it.
This sentence.
In a transparent breeze, I was given the right to have his staff.
All male passengers went to the rear cart, and Yangs was among them. He was wearing his sleeves, his side was thin, and he was glowing in the dark light. And I helped him with his bag, long, heavy and straight to the ground, and I swayed a little, as if I was shaking my sour heart.
The engine was eventually not saved, and the driver began to call the rescuers in an anxious position. This is at least 10 years away from the use of windmills on smartphones.
Some of the passengers, who were approximately staff members on mission, rushed to their destination, and called the taxi company to send their car all the way to pick it up, which must have been a good price, but probably because they could be reimbursed. A few passengers had left their homes without permission, which naturally triggered an emergency for many of them.
Yangs and I are poor students and don’t have a cell phone and can only be arranged by the driver. The driver was to the effect that he had called the insurance company, but the current demand was so busy that it might take a long time to send someone and that the insurance company would not have been able to fit so many passengers in the insurance company ‘ s vehicles. We can only wait for the long-distance company to send an empty car to pick up people in the morning.
The crowd was tumultuous and there was no other way. The passengers returned to the car in vain, and a little hot water was poured out of the cup, and bubbles were bubbled, and the fragrance spread over the air, making others hungry and angry.
I swapped my eyes with Young-seok and walked out the door.
“It smells so good, doesn’t it? I laugh.
“Really, I smell dizzy. He fanned his nose with his hand and said, “When food is not his own, the smell is so unbearable. I’m sorry.
It’s like I’ve found a new truth, “It’s like there’s a meat bag in the classroom hidden at the table, isn’t it? The meat bun is delicious, but it’s so annoying to smell people. I’m sorry.
Yangs Haha laughs, and we chat on the side of the car.
I don’t remember what we were talking about until now, and it’s probably mostly the boring, fruitless talk of bubble noodles and meat buns, but I always thought that memory was extremely valuable.
Perhaps it is the older age who realizes that what really lasts in memory is not a one-way experience, but an accident from a derailed one, which suddenly falls out of a fire-out car, tears a hole in the night sky, flashes of stars, glamorous chats, and young boys around them with their teeth and their laughter.
6.
I couldn’t sleep the night before I went back to school with Isabel.
The bedroom is dark, the windowsill is closed, and occasionally lights are washed from the street, and a bright fish tail is drawn quietly from the ceiling. The husband next to him snores at a flat pace.
I reached out from the nightstand, opened the phone screen, was flashed with light, and my husband turned over. I sent a message to Don Lou.
“I’m taking Isabel Wong to our home school tomorrow. I’m sorry.
I thought Don Lou would ask me why, but she just replied to me, “Do you want me to accompany you?” I’m sorry.
“Huh? “Of course, we haven’t seen each other in a while. I’m sorry.
“Don’t get me wrong. I’m not here to spy on your privacy. She added a sentence.
“How? Don’t think. I wonder why she wants to get involved in the whole thing.
Don Lou said, “It’s just that I was thinking that Isabel Wong might also want to find a secret connection between you and Yangs. I’m sorry.
“Yes, it is. But I don’t care. Honestly, I want to know as much about this unresolved mystery as Isabel Wong. “And after almost 20 years, there’s nothing left. I’m sorry.
“Your memories. I’m sorry.
“What? I’m sorry.
“You may think of something when you see those chairs and benches, raise the flagboard windows. I’m sorry.
“Please–” I think it’s amazing, “what I can remember, what I can forget, what I’ve forgotten, and what I can’t think of because I’m back. I’m sorry.
“Fu Chong, sometimes memories lie. “The people across the line suddenly took it seriously.
“Ah?” I don’t know why I’m a little upset.
Don Lou goes on, “Don’t you know? People are always glorification and modification of their memories. I’m sorry.
I don’t know why she said that.
On that day the weather changed so fast that it was still clear, and it was cloudy at the entrance to the school.
Donald’s late, Isabel and I go first. As the school building was empty on weekends, several students were seen from afar with wet hair and hot water bottles walking in the direction of the dormitory.
The curiosity and memory of the campus, which was almost 20 years away, temporarily covered the embarrassment of being alone with Isabel. I couldn’t wait to follow the familiar path.
There has been no imaginable change, and most regional distributions and facilities are available and can be seen in memory.
The campus is also one of the worst places in the city. Although a new generation of students is enrolled, older students graduate, alumni grow old and become boring middle-aged, and young boys and girls who look at their faces with glued proteins across the door feel that they are changing quickly, the skeleton remains unchanged. Like giant ancient trees, the leaves are budding and falling, and the groaning birds have become several, but the trees are standing there.
Isabel walked slowly and in silence, with a softer eye across every window in the classroom in the corridor.
I stopped at the entrance to the classroom, “This is the classroom before Yangs, but the door was locked on the weekend and we couldn’t get in. I’m sorry.
Looking inside, a similar position is set, only the table and chair bench has changed a style, and the name of the day-timer on the board is no longer familiar.
I couldn’t help but think of it as if I had failed Isabel’s expectations for a while, “Oh, I know, we could go to the back library and open the door. “I pointed back like an agent guide.
“Do you go to the library often? Isabel asked a question.
This is the first time that we have met that she has mentioned a topic that has nothing to do with inheritance.
I turned my head against her eyes. Today, she is not wearing heavy makeup, and the contrast of the whole person is much lower, and she is skinless and thin in a soft cotton sweatshirt, like a common, vulnerable girl in my life.
I suddenly felt a little closer to her and finally felt sorry for her.
“Yes, I remember that only the library floor had air conditioning, so the seat was hot and needed to be taken earlier. I pushed the glass door, and it was amazingly quiet, and the students were used to severing the movement of people around them from themselves, with the sound of turning pages and writings.
The world’s libraries seem to have the same aroma, mixed with coarse paper, printed ink and wooden bookshelves, to produce a lost breath.
The sense of smell may be dedicated to some part of the brain that store memories, and immediately activates my memories.
At the end of my horizon, there’s a row of seats neglected by the sun on the windowsill, close to the bookshelves of Western classical philosophy, full of big headbooks, and I’m afraid sometimes I’ll get my head to bleed out of a book that I’m afraid of. Yangs used to laugh at me and say that Newton found gravity because I was hit by an apple, and that I might have made amazing inventions when I was hit by a fine book.
I saw Yangs push the door from a distance, holding a bottle of ice-cola, walking all the way to me and handing it to me.
Yeah. I’m sorry.
“What? I’m sorry.
I’m preparing an English speaking competition in this city, but I happen to have an inflammation in my teeth, and it’s distorting my face.
“Put it on. He used his finger on the cheeks.
“Oh. * I’ll take it, I’ve got a nice piece of water on the bottle, and I’ll put a swollen cheek over my face, and it’ll be cool and intruding. *
“You take painkillers. “My roommate borrowed it from me, and he used to jerk his ankles at the school hospital. I’m sorry.
“It’s okay, it feels better to put on an ice Coke. I’m starting to change my speech again.
Young-seok sat across the street, shuddering his head with a smile and looking at me for a while before taking his homework out of his bag. I didn’t know anything about it at the time, but today I saw the look that Young-seok looked at me.
He frowns softly, like a face that I can’t help but opens his mouth and closes, and lasts with his silent hand to remove a few of my broken hairs from my shoulder.
I feel like my heart’s beating, and I feel like I’m about to discover the mystery, and I’m walking towards the Western classic philosophical history shelf, and when I get close to that table, when I’m 17 years old, I look up and hand the Coke back to Youngs.
“No more ice. I’m sorry.
He looked up.
“It’s hot in my face. “I’m so stupid and I smile.”
“Are you still in pain?”
“Hmm. I’m sorry.
Young-seok stood up and said, “Well, I’ll go buy another cold Coke. I’m sorry.
I saw the boy rushing through the back door of the library and taking out a can of Coke in the fridge of the school commissary and then running back. The axis of time was suddenly speeded up, and Yang was tired of handing over the new ice-cooled Coke to me over and over again until seven or eight cans of jars were packed in secret on the table.
Looks like the librarian’s bald-headed middle-aged uncle came over and hit Young-seok on his shoulder, suggesting that he could not drink in the library other than pure water. Yangs swinging, squeezing and saying, “I didn’t drink, look, I didn’t open it. I bought it for toothache.
He looked at him strangely and walked away without saying anything. When I was 17 years old, I was standing behind a big open book in English and laughing.
I can’t believe I forgot someone was so nice to me.
Don Lou may be right. People change memories.
After 20 years of social malaise, I have made sure that my swords and swords do not fall into stone, and the first step is to forget that I have been treated so sincerely.
Don Lou’s here.
She waited for us at the notice board. I gave Isabel Wong a brief introduction, and the three men were silent.
Isabel Wong suddenly pointed to the bulletin board and said, “Miss Fu, is that your name? I’m sorry.
“What? I’m sorry.
“I don’t read and write very well in Chinese, but I may be mistaken. What do you think?” She put her finger in the back of the window.
I look at the past and it’s the award of the best students of all years. I have been in it for so many years, and I have been under the impression that school development has not been ideal in these years.
“Yes. I’m sorry to say, “I won the award for the Olympus competition. Ah, by the way, your husband was with me that year. “I went through the list for a while and I found that Yangs was not listed.
Strangely, he should have done better than I.
There must be something wrong with memory.
And We sat with him on the way to the race because the bus had gone out of fire, and we were still watching the scenes of the night, which were chatting all over the stars.
“He didn’t go to the exam. The voice of Don Lou is stuck in.
“What? I turned to her confusedly.
“You told me your car broke down the other day and you waited until dawn to pick it up, so Yangs borrowed a bicycle to take you to a hotel near the entrance. I’m sorry.
And I remember, it’s true. I sat in the car seat and was tired of sleeping, and I was afraid of falling, so I pulled the horn of his waist. It took him a long time to ride from the suburbs into the city, and now he’s tired and dry. We’ll meet in the lobby in about two hours.
While I was waiting in the lobby, I met a group of girls from schools next to the city, some of whom I knew earlier and had to follow their teachers to the examination.
“Why didn’t you wait for Yangs to leave? I was asked later by Don Lou, who was at my table.
I remember saying, “I, I was talking to them, and I forgot he was upstairs sleeping, and I followed them to the exam. I’m sorry.
At this moment, Don Lou broke my memories and stood between me and Isabel and looked at me in cold, “Do you forget? You said your parents suspected you were in love, that you were afraid that other classmates would find out you were so close to Yangs, that you pretended to be alone. You think Young-seok’s going to take the exam himself, and he’s too tired to sleep for hours. I’m sorry.
I looked at Don Lou and suddenly she was strange.
I used to be close to her, going to the bathroom, remedial classes or going home after school. But from some time, we have been distant, our friendships are fragile and we have been torn apart by time. Now she’s the director of the company, wearing a serious shirt suit, carrying a very expensive brand bag, and we’re in the middle of an invisible river, and I can hear the sound of water, even if I don’t say anything.
“Ha, did I tell you that? I’m a little embarrassed.
Why isn’t that the answer I remember?
The truth is nothing.
I was standing there, feeling stiff and all-too-sweet, like I was hit by a swinger coming out of a puddle of fire all the way down the hall, and I couldn’t move.
This free-assurance thing, as a subject, I can compile countless versions of the note as a motive, but it is also because I am a client, and I cannot deceive myself like others, and I can never avoid the only real answer.
An earthquake struck the memory gallery, and the ancient walls began to shake the dust and reveal the original pattern.
My anxiety rose to the height of the hotel lobby that day, after a little chat with the neighbors. I know the significance of this competition for myself, and if I win the prize, I’ll be able to add points to the high examination, or even get a guaranteed seat, and take the lead in the battle of a thousand men across the bridge.
For me, from a young age to a large loss, the difference could have frustrated me endlessly and plunged me into the abyss.
And Yangs is my biggest enemy.
I feel sweaty.
When I looked at the bell in the hotel lobby, I held one of my classmates in the elbows, and I said, “Hey, let’s go. I’m here alone. I’m afraid I can’t find the exam. I’m sorry.
It is certainly not possible for me to tell anyone about this illuminating motive.
After being questioned by teachers and classmates, I gave a much more noble reason. One day, I don’t even remember the real reason.
The pretext, the lie, the lie, the lie, the lie, the lie, the lie, the lie, the lie, the lie, the lie, the lie, the lie, the lie, the lie, the lie, the lie, the lie, the lie, the lie.
If I tampered with my memory this time, did I miss the rest of the clues?
7.
Isabel didn’t say goodbye to me before she left, and I wonder when she came home on an international flight in silence. Nor did I have the opportunity to ask her the story of Yang Si’s meeting. Although I am curious as to how a boy growing up in a small town with a small family size has travelled to a different country and met her, married and lived. But I know that Young-seok has always been a very smart man, who always finds a shortcut to climb up.
I did not ask, on the one hand, that I did not want to disrespect her privacy, and, on the other hand, I wondered if I was afraid to go back to his past.
I remember now that I had one-sided love for him and that I had failed him with great disregard. Although I only met him briefly in high school for three years, I still felt the obscurity and cowardice of seeing him for the rest of his life, as if I and his story would not be finished as long as he was never known.
A kind of self-deception.
A few months after Isabel left, I received a letter from her representative requesting me to sign a number of complex documents indicating the voluntary abandonment of her legacy.
I took a day off to do all the notary work, and when I came out of the notary’s door, it was almost sunset, and the world was beset by a thin, warm yellow bellow that gave me a sense of depression that was near the end of my life.
Suddenly I felt lonely and scared, as if I had sewn myself a scar that had been unforeseeable, but had not bled, but still had pain, regret and sourness.
I want to see Don Lou right away.
She’s the only friend I and Yangs have in this city. Maybe she knows better than I do about that legacy.
I haven’t seen Don Lou since I was back. I asked her out a few times, and she got too busy at work. I decided to wait for her downstairs at her company, and when I walked into the lobby of the writing building, I saw her and a few colleagues carrying coffee.
“I have something to tell you,” I insist, “important.” I’m sorry.
Tanglu took a look at me and suggested I sit at the coffee shop outside the door. I don’t know if I ordered the caffeine too good, or if I vaguely predicted that I was close to the answer, and my heart was beating.
After listening to my account, Tanglu stops a circle and caressssss the cup, “150,000 dollars? It’s a lot of money. I’m sorry.
“Yeah, what do you think it would be? I’m sorry.
“Why the 150,000 dollars? Why the number? She’s been staring at half a cup of coffee, not at me. Suddenly she looked up.
“Fu Qing, when you lent Young-see $500, what was the interest rate? I’m sorry.
“What interest rate? I borrowed money from Yangs? I’m sorry.
Don Lou took a deep breath, “Do you remember when Yangs lost a borrowed book in the senior year, and found out it was the library that bought it at great cost? School rules provide for compensation at triple market value. I’m sorry.
I remember this at once.
“Oh, but I was joking. I told him I’d give him the loan money and he’d pay me back. This is obviously a joke. I’m sorry.
Tanglu is impatient. What is your “joke” rate? I’m sorry.
“I may have said five cents. “It sounds like a joke to me. I’m sorry.
Tanglu pulled out his cell phone and pressed a few screens, reaching out his arm and showing me the results. “The $500 principal, the five-point interest rate is 5 per cent a month, 60 per cent a year, and the 16 years that have passed since the year of the third year have been calculated to be about 1 million. I’m sorry.
I was shocked to say nothing.
“Are you kidding me? I stammered, “Youngs and Youngs are joking.” I’m sorry.
“Maybe he took your words seriously. I’m sorry.
“But I never really wanted him back. “I’m E-A-A-A-A, arguing for myself.
Tanglu shakes his head, stands up and I’m ready to leave, and I sit down in a chair, and I feel like I’m not real, like I’m being put into a joke. That can’t be the right answer, I can’t believe it.
Then I saw Don Lou come back from a few steps and sit back in front of me.
“Fu Chongqing, you may not know how much it affected him, but I know. I think you should know now. I’m sorry.
What do you mean?
She had lost sight of the focus and looked at a certain point in the air.
“The family of Yangs is in a bad state, and his parents died early and helped to take care of his aunts in poor conditions. So the missing treasure book was, to him at the time, a great tragedy. I’m sorry.
“I know, so I borrowed him $500. “I say in a hurry, as if I would not be able to defend myself.”
“What you don’t know is that he didn’t tell his aunt about this. His aunt had a very bad illness at the time, and his savings were used for treatment, even for $500, which he did not want to talk about. In order to pay him back as soon as possible, he went to work at his uncle ‘ s shipyard during the holiday. I’m sorry.
“Aah. I don’t know anything about that, but I can’t say anything.
The shipbuilding industry is well developed, as it is a coastal city with a large number of ships moored. I did not know that Yang had been to the shipyard to earn money, but this explained his absence for the last semester.
“Oh, he’s hurt. He’s hurt while working, isn’t he? I grabbed Don Lou’s hand and said, “I heard that he dropped out of school because he was hurt. But I don’t know what hurt him. I’m sorry.
Don Lou didn’t answer. She’s gonna break her eyes in the night, take them back and stare at me. “Fuqing, I have something to ask you. I’m sorry.
“What? I’m sorry.
“The one he dropped, did you? I’m sorry.
At the 20th High School reunion, Don Lou didn’t go. I looked in the crowd for a while, and I only saw a bouquet of flowers from her, and the blessing written on the card was printed, standing in the corner in red, and estranged.
Most of the teachers who have taught us have retired, and it is also heartening to see that we have grown up and dragged our way to the reunion. The headmaster went through the crowd and talked to me to the effect that I remember being the best student she ever taught.
I’m embarrassed to laugh. Not to mention the bravery of the year, even though the high points, the prizes and the famous school that fought for it did not replace my ordinary life. I am now just the most common middle-aged woman in the city, with an ordinary salary, a husband who can’t get up to the middle and a child’s grades are barely in the middle, and the family is invisible in the crowd.
The headmaster frowned, and suddenly remembered Don Lou. “That Don Lou, he seems to be in such a bad mood. Is she still with you?”
I nod, “Yeah, she’s great. Oh, yeah, she moved to other cities recently for work. I’m sorry.
“Oh, yeah. No wonder she didn’t come today. “The class teacher smiles and slaps my shoulder away.”
I saw her move in the circle of friends, where she had been packed in empty bags. I waited a while and I did a good job. I don’t know if it reminds her, but after a while she confided in me and asked me where I live.
“I found something from high school while packing. I wanted to send it to you. I’m sorry.
I wanted to say I could come and get it, but I thought she probably didn’t want to see me at all, so she had to send it on a express in the same city. I responded to the address in a simple way to keep it quiet.
The package was delivered a day apart, very small, and opened with a tape and a letter.
I can’t guess what’s written in it, because the outstanding case between Yangs and I was closed in a café three years ago.
When I watched Don Løj’s dark dark shadow for so long, I finally opened my mouth, “I threw it. I’m sorry.
Tanglu smiled, “I should’ve asked you earlier, you’d admit it so easily. “I met Isabel before she returned and asked her about Yang’s life. He got lung cancer. Do you think it’s strange that he’s too young to smoke? He had inhaled asbestos while working at the shipyard. I’m sorry.
“What? “I feel like a brain boom.
Asbestos. A carcinogen. She was sure that she had shot me dead and slowly turned back to the chair, “I’d know it was because my dad was a respiratory, remember? One day he told me he met my classmates at work and had asbestos lung. I didn’t know what it meant at the time, but my dad said it was inter-pulmonary fibrosis caused by inhalation of asbestos dust. Sounds serious, doesn’t it? I’m sorry.
I was half wide and I couldn’t react.
“Fu Chongqing, after all, you are the cause of his death. Tanglu shakes his head, “When you told me Yangs died, I immediately thought about what my father told me years ago. That’s why I contacted Isabel Wong. I wanted to know his death. She said it was lung cancer, so I got it. I’m sorry.
“No, no,” I said, “I’m like a pitiful beast caught between memory and truth in the corner.
“How do you know I threw it away? “I’ve been in the middle of nowhere, and I’ve chosen to leave her with the most irrelevant questions.
Tanglu stood up and the iron seats and the ground strangled. ‘Cause I know you, Fu Qian, you’re a selfish, terrible man. Maybe you lied to yourself, but you can’t lie to me. I’m sorry.
You can live in peace because you’ve altered your memory. You come here with the wrong memories.
“Now it’s time for you to know the truth, Fu Qing. I’m sorry.
I wrote a love letter before the last semester of my senior year. It’s incredible to sound like a good girl, like me, in an irresistible, dark relationship. If I’m mature enough to wait for a high examination, I don’t. I’m afraid of being known to my parents, of being mocked by my classmates, but even more afraid that my feelings will never be felt. Eighteen years old, I was afraid of a lot of things.
Anyway, I picked up the letter in the thick hard paper at Yang’s desk.
After that afternoon’s physical education, I was alone in the classroom to help the physics teacher revise the simulator, and I heard a laughter from this class of boys in the hallway, with a loud and stingy voice saying that a girl had written a love letter to Yangs and that a group of them laughed and were about to sneak to Yangs’ seat to search.
Classes of excellence are too boring and depressing, and even such small things cause boys to rejoice. As if they were trying to have a little fun in their senior year, they were fighting to do something that would violate their privacy.
I was so scared I jumped out of my seat and ran to Yang’s desk and pulled out the book. The boys’ footsteps were near the entrance to the classroom, and I had no time to look for the letter, but to put the entire book’s head into a physical paper with a shaking of hands and legs, and pretended to walk out the back door as if nothing had happened.
The physics teacher happened to come across the hall, and when he saw me, he waved and suggested that I take the stack to his office. I followed him in a very shallow way, and suddenly, at the corner, I was like, “Sensei, wait, I’m throwing a garbage.” I’m sorry.
I went into the stairwell dumpster, and I threw the whole book into it, and I banged it, and I got an echo. I was not aware of the sound of several fallbacks in the dark streets that completely shut down the opportunity for me to be a perfect good man in my life.
I had the chance to tell the truth, but I didn’t.
Yangs was unable to find a book, and was delayed for days, after which he was criticized by the library and fined for several days.
And the only thing I knew in that time was that I was a weak man. I was afraid of being discovered by Yang Si, and I threw away his book for a love letter, and I was afraid that my parents would know that I did not study with one heart in school, but rather secretly fell in love with a boy, and that I would be more afraid of knowing by the teacher, because every teacher was prohibited from early love three times, and the teacher had promised to write me a letter of recommendation. She was an extremely rigid middle-aged teacher who was so insensitive to early love. She said I’m her best student…
I finally said to Young-seok, I’ll lend you $500, but I’ll charge you a loan.
I made a joke about it on purpose, laughing, trying to convince him that I didn’t know anything about it, that it was just an ordinary classmate who helped me, and that it brought a little money. That’s all.
And from then on We kept our distance from him, as if it were to punish my heart, seeking to confess.
After the semester, I never saw Young-seok again. To be honest, he dropped out of school for physical reasons and must have missed the year ‘ s high school exams.
I’ve hypnotized myself countless times, and I’ve made myself believe with amazing strength that I and Yings are just ordinary classmates. So when I first met Isabel Yellow, I believed I wasn’t lying. Because I’ve convinced myself.
Tanglu woke me up a few years later. My dream is over.
I thought there was an answer to this pending case, but Tanglu sent me a package like this.
I took the letter and the tape in a hurry into the bedroom and locked the door. Open the letterhead. It’s Don Lou’s handwriting.
“Fung Ching, I’m sorry. I wanted to say I’m sorry because I thought you were the only one who changed memories and glorified himself. So am I. I’m sorry.
“I found this tape while moving things. You may not remember what this tape does. This is a tape you and Young-seok trained to record when you were preparing for the English speech competition. I’m sorry.
“Why am I here? Because I secretly listened to it. I didn’t give it back to you after listening. I’m sorry.
“Well, I’ll tell you a secret, it’s about me. I’m sorry.
“You asked me before how you knew that Yangs lost your book. Because I saw your love letter clip inside. And all of this is because I very much like Yangs. I’m sorry.
“Do I look good in disguise? Maybe I’m a tyrannical in high school. No one cares about me, no one will find my mind. I happen to have opened the book the day after your love letter. I saw your letter. You didn’t sign the envelope, but I recognized your handwriting. I’m sorry.
“I really hated you at that moment. Why do you want to rob me of something I like? Why are you one step ahead of me? So I put back my letter and told one of the boys in the class that there was a love letter at Young-se’s desk. I’m sorry.
“I thought I could embarrass you once. Yes, you and I are good friends, but we are also enemies. You can understand that at some point in adolescence we must all have hated a friend. I’m sorry, but I don’t want to apologize now. I’m sorry.
“When Yangs looked for the book, I knew that you must have lost it in panic. But I can’t accuse you because it would reveal that I had touched his desk. For decades to come, I’ve convinced myself to blame you. If you hadn’t lost that book, Yang would not have been fined three times, nor would he have worked at the shipyard for a little money, nor would he have had the asbestos lung. I’m sorry.
“I saw the tape and I remembered everything. I remember when I was a teenager I was so jealous of you and hated you that I would do it even if I could only punish you a little. I’m sorry.
“Youynth missed his exams because of his injuries, and both of you lost his connection. I regret, but I have a little bit of a hysteria that you and I are back on the same line. Even if we get married, have children, and Yangs are miles apart, I always feel that there is a chance, like a distant thought. It was only a few years ago that you found me and told me that Yang had passed away that I realized that it was true this time and that we had completely lost Yang. I’m sorry.
I found me shaking.
Because I can’t even hold that thin piece of paper.
I breathed too fast, the rough air poured into my throat, and I squirted the inside of my lungs so intensely, that the pain running through my chest kept me in place, as if I was laughing in the face of my mouth.
I think I’m being played by God.
There’s no final answer to this. Why do I get sucked into the chain of truth? I have no information or evidence about him except for a picture of a young teenager whose face is blurred. Did he really exist? Did I really like him? Did he really die across the ocean?
I ran out of the bedroom and went crazy to flip over and find the recorder.
“What are you looking for?” I’m sorry.
“The tape recorder. The tape type. I’m sorry.
“Huh? Why do you have a recorder at work? The husband is even more confused.
“There it is. “I screamed and ran back to the bedroom.
The tape looks old, the black tape is thin, as if it could blow. I carefully placed it in the carton, snapped and sewn.
Take a deep breath and I solemnly press the play button.
I started with a stingy noise, and my heart beat intensified, as if I was going to see a friend who’s been meeting for a long time coming out of the airport’s arrival corridor and excited.
Yang’s voice came out. He’s reading a lesson in English. It’s nice.
I found myself crying with restraint. That colorless, invisible voice, picturing his death.
The owner of that voice, it’s out of date.
The boy I once loved with sour, restrained and rigidly passed away.
In fact, in my memory, he’s long gone. I don’t remember him, I don’t remember his words, I don’t remember his smiles, I don’t remember the stupid things I did with him, and I don’t remember the money loans that he and I joked about.
I’m just a short pass in his life.
I just didn’t think that one of my careless acts was the cause of death in his brief life.
And he, in a world I don’t know, counts the time and gives it back to me before he dies.
And when I heard the end of the English text, my annoying voice sounded as if he was refuting it.
“Alas, your accent is wrong again.
“You’ll be back in a minute. I was right. I’m sorry.
And I threw myself into the bed, and my body was as sour as it had been struck. The ears were wet and tears were pouring in.
The tape was still playing, and I was 17 years old and Yangs and I had practiced their respective speeches over and over again. And then the whole space is immersed in white noise.
Total silence.
It’s like the whole universe was sucked away by a black hole.
Before the tape turned to the end, I heard a crack, and then a familiar sound came up.
“Fung Ching, I like you. I’m sorry.
Author: Captain fork buns.
Record number: YX01KzXYYKvwNg70y
Published in 2022-07-1511:07 Prohibition of Reproduction
There’s still five days left.
School flowers and jokes
Love rises with the wind: with your twilight and four seasons
Milk Guy, wait.
x
I don’t know.
Keep your eyes on the road.
