41. Decomposed beliefs
Decomposed faith.
01
01
My mom was abducted, she was a college student, and my dad was a bachelor.
For my mom, my dad was a demon. He used to yell at her, and I was a kid.
Teacher Chen left his homework and let us write an essay about Mom.
But since I was born, I haven’t seen my mom. I only have my dad.
I told my dad about his homework, and he laughed, and he said, “Son, you have a mother. I’m sorry.
I was held down by my father, and I always thought there were potatoes in the cellar, and I didn’t think there was a woman in the cellar.
Her hair is so messy, she’s in the corner, she smells like shit, she pees in the neighborhood, and she has an iron tub, which is supposed to eat.
Seeing this woman’s first eyes makes me sick and dirty.
Teacher Chen’s mother, who sings in my arms and teaches me how to read and read.
But my father smiled and said, “Son, she’s your mother and your mother is a college student. I’m sorry.
A college student? Mr. Chen is also a university student. Why is Mr. Chen so beautiful? This woman is ugly and dirty. I don’t understand.
My father raised his pants and put his hand on my shoulder: “Son, get out of here. Dad has something to tell your mother. I’m sorry.
It stinks in the cellar. I don’t want to be here. I turn around and leave.
When I climbed to the cellar, I heard the screaming of a woman in the cellar. She wasn’t dumb. She was afraid of my father.
I went back to the house, I looked at the book, I couldn’t write, I didn’t know how to write my mother, and I did it on the basis of the truth.
It took me a long time to start writing: “My mother, who was locked up in my dad’s cellar, who was a college student, who I never called her mother, who smelled like shit, I didn’t like her, she…
Before I finished writing, my dad opened the door and his face was full and his pants were still zipped.
He took a white bottle of wine from the table and drank it twice, and he came to me, laughing, and said, “What is it, son? I’m sorry.
I replied: “Current writing.” I’m sorry.
My dad sat next to me, picked up my book, looked at it, and suddenly his face got bad, tearing my book apart, “What are you writing?” I’m sorry.
I was frightened by my father, who had never been angry with me, and I was his only son: “I am writing. I’m sorry.
“Shit!” My dad threw my homework on the floor and stepped on it.
I was scared, I stood there, I couldn’t breathe: “I wrote the truth. You said the woman was my mother. Why was she tied to the cellar? So dirty, I don’t want her to be my mother. I’m sorry.
My dad saw me cry, he jumped down, he picked me up, he gave me tears, “Good boy, don’t cry. That’s not your mom. Dad’s kidding. Your mom’s dead. I’m sorry.
“Who is the woman in the cellar?” I whispered. Why is she in the cellar? I’m sorry.
My father smiled and kissed me in the face, and he said, “When you grow up, Dad will make one for you, so you can keep it in the cellar.” I’m sorry.
02
I don’t believe my dad.
He lied to me. The woman in the cellar was my mother.
When I grow up, I don’t want a woman in the cellar. I want a pretty woman like Mr. Chen.
My dad put me on the dirt, he kept drinking, and I took a new book and I kept writing.
This time, I wrote Mom like a woman like Chen.
In the middle of the night, I was woken up by a thunderstorm.
I looked up to my dad, and he was asleep, and there was rain, and in my head, suddenly the woman in the cellar, was she cold?
I see she’s wearing thin, wet and cold in the cellar.
And I sat up from the earth, and looked out of the window, and there was a big rock in the cellar, and no one but my father could move it.
The next morning, I woke up in my urine and sat up.
The women in the cellar are in the house.
She was crouched in the corner of the wall, she had a chain around her neck, she was tied to a stake, and her clothes were wet and bare feet.
While I looked at her, she looked at me, and she looked at me in a strange way, and she showed me the past.
I hate her, of course I won’t touch her. I bypassed her and ran out.
In the yard, my dad and my grandma were pumping water, it was too rain yesterday, and water was in the cellar.
I went to my dad and said, “Dad, why did you put that woman in the house? Surprised me. I’m sorry.
“What’s the use of that crazy woman?” Sell it. I’m sorry.
My father took a breath and threw up again: “What am I gonna do? There’s not even a woman in the village. I’m sorry.
My milk looked at my father again, and then looked at me and laughed, and said, “Son, are you hungry? The milk is for you to cook.” I’m sorry.
I’m a little girl at home, and my milk is really nice to me. I’m sorry.
When I peed, I went back to the house, and the woman kneeled on her knees and her eyes were covered in red blood, and she waved at me and spitdled out two words: “Come here.” I’m sorry.
Her voice is very dumb and very small.
She said, “Come here, I’ll give you a funny one. I’m sorry.
She’s holding a fist in her left hand to signal my past.
I’m curious what she said was funny.
I went to her and I said, “What’s so funny? I’m sorry.
When my voice fell, she grabbed my neck and pushed me to the ground, and my head hit me hard and it hurt.
The first time I felt asphyxiated, she tried to strangle me.
I’m invincible: “Cough, help, Dad! I’m sorry.
The woman in the cellar had red eyes, as if she were filled with blood, and she made a dumb sound: “Kill you, kill you, you bastard!” I’m sorry.
I grabbed a woman’s wrist and struggled, but it didn’t help. I’m sorry.
I don’t know why, I’ll call Mom.
When a woman choked her hand around my neck, she suddenly let it loose, and I breathed a big breath, “Cough, cough…”
The woman stunned for a few seconds, and her hand was still on my neck, but she was not strangled and she was staring at me.
And suddenly she cried, and pushed me away, and she took refuge in the corner, and strangled in one gushing: “Don’t hit me, I won’t run away, I will never run away again.” I’m sorry.
When the woman’s voice fell, I heard Grandma’s footsteps, and she came into the house, looked at the woman, and looked at me, “What’s wrong with her? I’m sorry.
The woman looked at me with a scary look and she was afraid of Grandma.
If I were honest, Grandma would have hit her.
03
I shook my head: “No, no, no, no, no, I’m hungry. I’m sorry.
My milk had a firecracker in her hand, and she looked at me for a few seconds, or she found something different. I’m sorry.
I have red handprints on my neck, and my grandmother’s a smart man. She’s old, but she’s got a good brain.
She put up a firecracker and hit a woman on the head, “You’re wrong, you hit my grandson! I’m sorry.
The woman was beaten around, but the chain around her neck limited her escape, and she had only been beaten.
My milk shouted outside the door: “Come in, boys. This crazy woman is going to kill your son. I’m sorry.
The woman stood in the corner, and my dad walked in, and he picked me up, looked at my neck, and he said, “Damn, I’ll kill you. I’m sorry.
My dad put me down, kicked the woman a little bit. I was scared and cried, and my milk took me to the yard.
There were cries of women tearing their hearts apart.
“Don’t cry, grandson, let’s eat.” I’m sorry.
“I’m not going. * I broke my milk and ran into the house *
My father threw up a stool and hit a woman so hard, I ran in front of the woman and opened my hands: “She’s my mother, you can’t hit her.” I’m sorry.
“Mr. Chen said it’s against the law. “I’m young, but Mr. Chen taught me everything I remember.
And my dad stopped for a few seconds, and he grabbed my clothes and pulled me up: “Damn, your teacher taught me shit! I’m sorry.
My milk came into the house and pushed my dad away, “What are you doing with the kids?” If I say so, sell her, there’s no such thing. I’m sorry.
My dad looked ugly and didn’t talk.
And my mother said, “If this child calls her mother, do you not hate you? I’m sorry.
My milk says this without hiding from me.
My father was stunned for a few seconds, and his heart was pierced by my milk, and he said, “Sold.” I’m sorry.
My dad grabbed my mom’s hair, dragged her out, locked her in the cellar.
My mom almost strangled me, but I couldn’t help but get close to her.
At night, I snuck out while my dad was sleeping.
There was no stone on the cellar and a lock was replaced with a key, which I opened and went down in secret.
It was dark in the cellar, and I turned on my flashlight, and the woman heard footsteps, tumbling around the corner of the wall, with her head down, and I guess she had a lot of injuries.
In the daytime, my dad did very hard, like he was going to kill her.
I whispered, “Mom, it’s me. I’m sorry.
The woman in the corner of the wall, who heard my voice, was clearly groaning, raised her head slowly and looked at me, and she seemed a little scary.
There’s blood on my face and on my body, but I’m not afraid. I know she’s my mother and she won’t hurt me.
She looked at me with clear eyes, at least now she’s awake, and she opened her hand to me and suggested my past.
I walked over, and she held me in her arms, and she cried.
She still stinks, but I don’t think I’m that bad. Is that what Mr. Chen said?
In meditation, she’s attracted to me.
I touched my mother’s face with my hand, and she still had a chain around her neck: “Where is he going to sell you? I’m sorry.
My mom shook her head and she couldn’t say a word except to cry.
And I said, “You’re a college student. Teacher Chen is also a university student. I’m sorry.
My voice just fell, and my mother’s eyes moved in a clear way, as she saw hope, and she took my hand and whispered, “I was a college student, like your teacher Chen, who came to teach in the mountains six years ago. Son, you tell Mr. Chen about me and let her save me. Your father’s gonna kill me and sell my organs. I’m sorry.
04
I’m holding out: killing? Selling organs?
It’s so bloody, I’m only in the news, I’ve heard, I’m a mother, I can’t watch her die.
I crawled out of the cellar and came back to the house with care.
The next day I went to school, and while I was resting, I went to Mr. Chen, whispering, “Teacher, my mother was trafficked and she was tied to my dad’s cellar.” I’m sorry.
Mr. Chen looked up, looked around, made sure nobody was there, and whispered, “What’s your mother’s name?” I’m sorry.
I remember what my mother said to me last night: “My mother’s name is Chen Li, and she’s a college student and she’s teaching in the mountains. Mr. Chan, my dad’s gonna sell my mom, sell her organs, please save my mom. I’m sorry.
“Your mother’s name is Chen Li.” I’m sorry.
“Hmm. “Do you know my mother? I’m sorry.
“I’ve been looking for your mother, my own sister. I’m sorry.
My mother is Mr. Chan’s own sister? So I’m Mr. Chen’s nephew?
Mr. Chen covered his mouth with her hand so that she could not cry. She called the police and said, “Bin, take me to your house.” I’m sorry.
“Mr. Chan, are you alone? I’m worried about Mr. Chen’s safety. She can’t beat my dad.
Mr. Chen shook his head: “I’ll take a few more teachers with me. I’m sorry.
Mr. Chen has three more teachers, all of whom I know, are locals.
They have a low level of education, have graduated from secondary or tertiary education and have been recruited by the school as teachers on a temporary basis.
I took Mr. Chen home, and on my way home, my dad would be mad, but I couldn’t let him kill my mother and sell my organs.
It’s been a long time.
My dad, my milk, is plowing at home.
My father saw Mr. Chen come and smiled and said, “Son, these are your teachers? Is this a home visit? I’m sorry.
I didn’t speak, I went to the cellar, with my finger on it: “My mother is in the cellar. I’m sorry.
My father, with his eyebrow on his head, said, “Bullshit!” Your mother’s dead and you’re dead. I’m sorry.
My dad’s lying again.
And my milk said, “Son, come on, don’t make your dad angry. I’m sorry.
I didn’t go over there, but I stood next to Mr. Chen, who was cold-faced: “Open the cellar, I’ve called the police and you’re not going to run away.” I’m sorry.
My father groaned, and he looked at Mr. Chen, like he was going to put him in the cellar.
“This is my house. If you don’t visit, get out. After my dad said that, there were more than 20 men at the door.
They’re all from the village. I call them uncles and uncles. They’re here to support my dad.
There was a clear panic in the face of Mr. Chen, when she put her finger on the cellar and shouted, “Open the cellar!” I’m sorry.
My dad was still standing there, and the rest of the people were starting to get up and talk about Mr. Chen’s character, like negotiating prices.
Once again, Mr. Chen called the police, and the police were on their way, because it was a mountain road and took a long time.
Mr. Lee smiled and said, “The misunderstanding is a misunderstanding. Let’s go back. I’m sorry.
He took Mr. Chen’s wrists, told Mr. Chen to go first, and Mr. Chen stood there and said, “I’m not leaving, I’m waiting for the police.” I’m sorry.
05
After two hours of stalemate, the police arrived and only two came.
Mr. Chen cried and said, “The police comrade, my sister is in the cellar, so he can open the cellar. I’m sorry.
The police looked at my dad, “Open the cellar.” I’m sorry.
My dad’s lazyly opening the locks on the cellar, and it’s a bad smell in the air.
Mr. Chen went down the cellar with one of the police officers and climbed up after a few minutes.
And Mr. Chen’s face was black, and she shouted, “You hid my sister!” I’m sorry.
My dad smiled and said, “Mr. Chen, are you crazy? I don’t know who your sister is. I’m sorry.
Mr. Chen sat down on the floor, crying with no energy, and the rest were watching.
The police questioned and the villagers said the same thing: I have no woman and I have no mother.
The police went over the house again and did not find my mother.
Where did they hide my mother?
Nobody believes what I say. I just sit on the floor and cry.
My mom’s dying and I can’t help it.
Mr. Chen was taken away by others, the police left, and the crowds were scattered.
There’s only my dad, my milk and me.
My father slapped me hard, “You white-eyed wolf, join forces with strangers to kill me. I’ll kill you!” I’m sorry.
My milk stopped, “Stop fighting, there’s only one child in the house. What should we do? I’m sorry.
My father pushed my milk away: “Move, I have to kill him!” I’m sorry.
My dad beat me so hard I almost died.
My dad didn’t let me go to school, he took me wherever he went and I started hating him.
But I’m too young to resist.
Time flies, and ten years goes by.
I’m a grown-up, there are few girls in the village, and my dad started getting me married.
In his eyes, progeny is a big deal.
My dad doesn’t know what to do with a pretty girl, but he looks 20 years old.
My dad pushed me into the house and said, “Take it easy and leave the old Guo’s seed.” I’m sorry.
After that, my dad closed the door and locked it outside.
And the girl strangled, and looked at me in horror, and said: Leave me alone. I will give you the money, and my family will have the money, so ask you. I’m sorry.
I’m not gonna hurt this girl. I’m not like my dad. He’s an animal.
I sat in my chair and said, “Do not be afraid, I will not harm you. What is your name?” I’m sorry.
The girl looked at me with caution and whispered, “My name is Liu Moi. I’m sorry.
“I’m Guo Bin. Get some sleep. “I don’t want to talk. I feel tired.
I took the covers and laid them on the ground, and the girl was chained to her ankle, and she slept on the earth.
I think my mother was abducted and forced to bear me.
My mom must have been desperate and scared, and I was so sorry for her and I didn’t know if she was alive.
The next day, my dad and I went down to work, and he smiled and slapped me on the shoulder, “What’s up? It feels good, doesn’t it? This is your daughter-in-law who paid you $20,000 to get me a grandson so I can sell her. I’m sorry.
06
My father’s words suffocated me. I don’t have culture, I don’t go to school, but I know the decency and shame.
Mr. Chen knew that I was her nephew but could not prove it, and she had to send me something secretly to teach me how to be human.
OKAY, MY THREE LOOKS OKAY.
My father saw me and said, “Son, what do you think?” Women are all the same. I’m sorry.
I deliberately took two steps back and left my father: “Is my mother alive?” I’m sorry.
And my father stood for seconds, and the smile on his face was stiff, and he said, “What’s she doing? I raised you, wolf with white eyes!” I’m sorry.
And We threw the shovel on the ground, and cried out, “I want to hear the truth. Where have you hidden my mother? Killed or sold? I’m sorry.
I’m a grown-up, I’ve got three eyes, and the more I get, the harder I feel.
My mother was moved early in the day, and someone must have reported it and missed the opportunity.
My father didn’t speak, and he looked at me, “I don’t know.” I’m sorry.
“You don’t say, I don’t give you old age. My father was afraid of two things: one after my home was broken; the other was afraid I wouldn’t give him an old age.
And my father looked at me with his teeth, and raised his hand, and he hit me in the face, and I hid from him: “I’m not a child. You can’t control me. I ask you, where is my mother?” I’m sorry.
My father groaned and said, “Death!” You’ll never see her again. I’m sorry.
“You’ll never see me again in your life. After saying that, I turned around and I heard my dad’s voice, “Where are you going? Come back, you white-eyed wolf!
Since my grandmother died, my dad’s body has become bad, drinking, drinking without control and sometimes coughing blood.
I wanted to take him to the mountains, but he couldn’t survive, hiding in the mountains, living in isolation.
At night, I went back to my room, and I saw Liu in the corner, and my hair was a mess, and I had an idea to let her go.
I untied her chain with the key, and she looked at me, “Go, I’ll walk you out. I’m sorry.
My family has an old motorcycle, and I’m riding on it, and Liu is sitting behind it, and as soon as he leaves, my dad shows up at the door and he stops the door with a shovel. I paid you $20,000 to buy your daughter-in-law. Ahem, ahem..”
My dad’s hair is silver, it looks very dead. He’s wrong. I can’t listen to him.
I said, “Get out of the way, trafficking is illegal. I’m sorry.
My voice is cold, and ever since my dad dropped me out of school, I’ve grown hateful towards him.
I went to college with Kim, and I went to college with her, and I got married to a girl with a culture. And look at me, I don’t know a lot of big words, I’m poor, I’m only born of trafficking, and I feel like a monkey.
“You want to go, unless you crush me!” I’m sorry.
I ignored my father’s existence, started my motorbike, went straight over with Liu Moo, and my father wasn’t a fool. He knew to run away, but he was slightly injured and fell down.
I went to the town overnight with Liu Moi, and when I came to the town, it was covered up, and I took her to the place where she had a car and let her leave by car.
Before leaving, Liu gave me a note with her number: “Thank you for saving my life.” I’m sorry.
Liu Moe’s eyes are very good, watery, like black grapes, but I’m not a world person with Liu Moe. It’s impossible. After Liu Moe left, I threw away the note she left me, and I went home on a broken motorcycle.
Upon return, a large number of people gathered at home, all of them village men.
I realized that things were bad.
07
My dad was lying on the dirt, and there was blood in his mouth, and his eyes were broken, like a lost soul.
And I said, “Dad, what happened to you?” I’m sorry.
My father did not speak, he breathed out, and Dr. Liu of the village opened his mouth, saying, “Your father drank, probably he had cirrhosis of the liver. I’m sorry.
I never thought that one day, my dad would lie in bed and look at me so weak, and he coughed a few times, and he said, “Ahem, I’m fine. I’m sorry.
The men in the village are looking at each other.
It’s just me and my dad, my eyes are red, my dad’s the only family in the world, and if he dies, I’ll be an orphan.
“The woman you sent away? I’m sorry.
I noded, “Well, it’s gone. I’m sorry.
My father raised his hand and shot his chest, and his voice was weak: “Why don’t you know what’s wrong with me? Who will marry you if you send her away?”
“Dad, stop it. I’ll take you to the hospital. “I don’t want to fight with my dad, he’s too weak and I’m afraid he’ll leave me.
My father was lying on the earth, shaking his head, and he said, “I’m going to die, I’m going to sick, I’m wasting money for what?” You shouldn’t have let her go. How could I have raised you? Something bad. I’m sorry.
So I sat with him at the back of the earth.
My father lived in the mountains for the rest of his life. He had no culture, no knowledge. In his world, progeny was a matter of life.
Contrary to what Mr. Chen taught me, he told me that people should do what they like and be valuable people.
But what am I worth? I didn’t even finish primary school.
I hate my dad, not just because of my mother’s disappearance, but because he deprived me of my right to go to school and denied me the chance to get out of the mountain.
But what’s the point of hate? In the end, I’m still sad about myself.
My father’s voice came out of his throat, and he started telling me about his youth, talking to my mother, and he finally said, “Your mother didn’t die, she ran away, I don’t know where she went. I’m sorry.
I wrinkled my head. My mom’s not dead?
She’s not dead. Why don’t you go home? Aren’t you going to see Mr. Chan?
When I stopped, my father said, “She was not dead. She dug holes in the cellar and ran away.” I’m sorry.
“Why didn’t you tell me earlier? “I always thought my mother’s death was my fault because of my stupidity.
My father said with his eyes red, “I’m afraid you’ll go to her, your mother’s a college student, and I’m afraid you’ll never come back to see me again. I’m sorry.
08
My tears slip through the corner, and I don’t know what to say.
My father took my hand and said, “You are my son, you must stay in the mountains and leave the Guo’s house behind, and you cannot break the fire. I’m sorry.
I laughed, “Shall I leave a light?” You’re still living in the mountains, trafficking girls, making illegal hook-ups? Ignorance, backwardness, poverty. Why should I stay? Why didn’t you let me go to school? You wouldn’t even give me a chance to go out there. I’ve ruined my life for you and my mother’s life for you. I’m sorry.
My father raised his hand and smudged his face, “Big-eyed wolf, I raised a white-eyed wolf!” I’m sorry.
I crouched on the floor and cried, and if I had never accepted Mr. Chen ‘ s thoughts and ideas, I thought I would not let Liu go, and I would be like my father, and I would not suffer as much.
I stayed with my dad all night, and I didn’t close my eyes and look after him.
He’s still angry and he’s not talking to me.
I cook him, I feed him, he eats very little, and I know he’s late for liver cancer and he won’t live long.
I stayed with him for a month and he left.
And before he left, my father took my hand and said to me, “Son, step out of the mountains. The money of the family is under the iron box. I’m sorry.
I buried my father under a tree and built him a gravestone.
I never dreamed of my dad saving $80,000 for me, and I took the money, and I took the train to the city where Mr. Chen lives.
I’m going to tell her my mom might still be alive.
Teacher Chan is my teacher and my own aunt.
I finally came to the city where Mr. Chen lives. I don’t know the words. This way I come by searching.
Mr. Chen picked me up at the station, and after 10 years, she was well-maintained, and she was still in the mood.
She took me to dinner at the hotel, and I said, “Mr. Chen, my mother is still alive. I’m sorry.
Mr. Chan was in a trance for a few seconds, and there was a flash of panic in her eyes.
Mr. Chen’s voice is shaking: “Really? Where’s your mother?”
I shook my head, “I don’t know, my father didn’t say, “He doesn’t know where my mother is. I’ll find my mother.” I’m sorry.
“You’re looking for your mother?” I’m sorry.
I noded my head: “Well. I’m sorry.
“Mr. Chan, what’s wrong with you? “My mother is her sister. Doesn’t she want to look?
Teacher Chen smiled and said, “You’re a child. It’s too hard to find people. I’m afraid you’ll be unable to eat.” I’m sorry.
“All right, I’ll find my mom. I laughed, and I didn’t know what my mother was now, and I was satisfied that she was the only one living in the world.
Mr. Chen said nothing. She didn’t care about me when she was teaching in Yamamura. In her eyes, I look like a problem.
It’s a bad meal.
I found a security job in Mr. Chen’s city. I don’t know much of a word, but I’m young, I’m strong and I have a good look.
The security guards don’t have much work, so when I’m busy, I learn to make up for the fall, and in big cities I can’t read.
I’ve been trying so hard, I’ve been learning for six months, I’ve known a lot of words and I’ve texted.
I remember Mr. Chan’s birthday, when she was a kid, she told me that she gave me her birthday, and I went to the cake store and bought a cake and wanted to surprise her.
I know where she works. I’ve been waiting for her in front of the school with the cake.
At the end of the last class, the bell rings, and I see Mr. Chen coming out of the school building, and when she walks out of the school door, I see a woman, with a little boy, walking over.
The woman’s back, so familiar, like my mother.
09
I stunned for a few seconds. Was it my eye?
I walked a few steps forward, and when a woman turned back, I saw the woman’s face, her forehead, and a scar, which my father beat.
She’s my mother, she’s alive.
Teacher Chan has found my mother. Why didn’t she tell me?
My heart is like a knife.
My hands are shaking, my cell phone is out, and I’m sending a message to Mr. Chan: “My Aunt, Birthday Day, I want to give you a birthday.” I’m sorry.
I saw Mr. Chen in the car, and my mother in the car with the boy, and I wrote down the license plate, and I hit a car behind that car.
Mr. Chen replied to me: “Thank you, Bin, but not today. I’m in trouble today. I’m sorry.
Ten years ago, Mr. Chen himself told me that I was her nephew and that if she had evidence, she would have taken me away from the mountain, but she did not.
She told me that she was my family, that she taught me the truth, that she had been teaching in the mountains for five years, that we had seen each other many times, that in my heart she was like my mother, and that she made up for my mother’s love.
I couldn’t stop crying. My father had my mother’s life. They were two worlds. I shouldn’t have been born.
My mom has a happy family now, and I shouldn’t have come.
No wonder Mr. Chen didn’t want me to keep looking for my mother. I didn’t want to bother them.
I’ve been crying in my car for 10 years.
I saw my mother get off the bus, and I saw a middle-aged man, who was standing next to my mother, and the little boy was holding my mother’s hand, and the family was happy, and I kind of missed my dad.
I got out of the car and stood by the side of the road, and for a moment I looked at my mother, and she didn’t look at me again.
When Mr. Chen found out that I existed, she said something to my mother and asked her to go to the hotel and she came across the street to see me.
She thought about it for a moment, and she said, “Bin, it’s not what you think. Your mother has her troubles. She came out of the shadows and had her own home. I do not want you to disturb her. I’m sorry.
I noded: “I know she was supposed to be this life. I’m sorry.
Mr. Chen bit his mouth: “I can help you to go to school, but it’s a specialty.” I’m sorry.
“Does she know I’m looking for her? “The older I was, the harder I felt, the more I hated my dad, the more I hated him for killing my mom, the more I didn’t know how to do it, the more I felt guilty for 10 years!
Mr. Chan was stunned for seconds and his eyelids fell down, and I already know the answer.
My mom never wanted to see me, never wanted to see me, after all, I was her shame and her nightmare.
I laughed and gave Mr. Chen $50,000 out of my backpack: “Mr. Chen, this money was saved by my father, so let him redeem himself. Please give it to my mother. I’m sorry.
I turned around and got in a taxi. “Teacher, let’s go. I’m sorry.
In the cab’s rear-view mirror, I saw my mom standing in front of the hotel, she was looking at me, I couldn’t get off, I couldn’t meet her, I couldn’t ruin her happiness.
I left the city and changed the city.
Five years later, I was on the air, I was a anchor, I made some money, and I paid for my adult exams.
My dream of college life finally came true.
One afternoon, I got a message from Mr. Chen who said my mom was late for cancer and wanted to see me last.
I don’t want to go through a sad moment. I haven’t heard back from Mr. Chen, and when one drinks, it doesn’t hurt.
I don’t know.
Keep your eyes on the road.
