Not in the troubled times of the rose
beacon fire, when the love
of the city was punched and kicked, and his face was covered with dirty words with a marker pen, the boyfriend who said he would protect my life appeared.
“The point is to hit her in the face.” The cigarette butt in
his hand fell from my head, and sparks splashed on my wrist and went out.
Like my last hope.
He didn’t come to save me, he sent me to a deeper hell.
“I hate the mole on the corner of her eye. Do something so that I won’t see it again.”
He ordered in a deep voice.
The scum must achieve their mission.
How to make a lachrymal mole disappear.
Even this group of sadistic hoodlums are now looking at each other helplessly.
“Take the knife and gouge it out.” One
of the suggestions.
“It’s not good to see blood, in case her parents call the police or come to the school to make trouble.”
The other one got cold feet. What do
you say? Qi Shao has spoken. Are we going to let Qi Shao down? As
they teased each other, they discussed the countermeasures anxiously and piously.
On one side, the instigator, my “dear” boyfriend Chi Fang-ming, had a cold face.
His eyes were empty and scattered everywhere, but he avoided me.
Until the smoke in his hand burned out and almost touched his fingertips, Qi Fangming was caught off guard and tore open my school uniform roughly with one hand, revealing the sweater inside. The brooch with a small fox pattern pinned in the
middle, with mottled rust spots, hurt his eyes in an instant.
Squeezing his eyebrows, his eyes were red, but his white hands were still cruel.
Not to say, Qi Fangming pulled off the brooch.
The hoodie tore open with a “prick,” revealing the beige vest that loomed inside, drawing boos and malicious whispers from the boys.
“Use this.” He threw the brooch to the leader. “Don’t make the wound too big. Save yourself some trouble.” The
requirements and tools of the crime were completed, and he walked away without looking at the bloody final scene.
He feels dirty.
Oh, yeah, and he fainted. I
‘m the only one who knows he fainted. At the age of
eight, Qi Fangming was accidentally injured, and I donated blood to him. During the
blood transfusion, he got into my little arms, covered his head, covered his face, cried and said that he was afraid of blood, could not see, could not see, would like to hold, would like to hold, he was not afraid.
I am willing, he is my crying little fox, obedient and arrogant, very cute.
Now that the little fox has grown up, he bites me on the neck.
“Why?” I clenched my back teeth. “Chi Fang-ming, why on earth are you doing this?”? What did I do wrong?
I shouted at his back, shouting more hoarsely and helplessly than when those fists fell like rain.
“Because you are ugly.” “Ugly, do you really think I like you?”
Ugly?
I’m ugly?
I don’t believe it. I am the class flower who receives the love letter and the goddess who looks at the junior students in line. At the
New Year’s Eve celebration, when I played the violin in a white skirt, I shocked four people. Qi Fangming’s father said that I was more beautiful than angel.
That’s not a reason.
But I didn’t have time to think about it. His figure was hidden in the corner. The group of small hoodlums could not wait to come over with a grim smile. They picked up the brooch and revealed a sharp and cold light.
I retreat, but there is no way to retreat. The
thick thumb and forefinger were strangled under my chin, and the needle was pressed against my face. The
torture began.
Again and again, without mercy, the tip of the needle pierced the mole in the corner of my eye, as if it would not stop until it was broken. The pain of the
cone heart chilled the whole body, and the screams echoed in the streets and alleys.
He hasn’t gone far yet.
He must be able to hear.
I don’t understand why Qi Fangming hates this mole. When he
pursued me, he said that even if I ran to the four oceans and five continents, he could find me with this mole. When we were
together, he kissed it and said he would swear to my lachrymal mole that he would always love me and heal me, and never let a tear flow through it again.
But now, I’m crying my heart out.
Salty tears mixed with blood sliding down, stimulating the pain of the wound, all over the face, where is he?
Oh, he’s calling the shots, lest these people take me lightly.
The execution ended and the crowd dispersed.
I picked up the blood-stained little fox brooch and put it in the palm of my hand, which was full of cold sweat and trembled. When we were in kindergarten
together, the teacher read “The Little Prince” to us. Qi Fangming was not pleasant to listen to and always peeked at me.
The next morning, he pulled me to the banyan tree and opened the palm to reveal the brooch.
“Tame me and we will need each other.” He carried the lines from the book in a milky voice.
He may not know what he’s talking about, but he’s still a devout believer.
“May, in the future, you be my unique little prince, and I be your unique little fox.”
Later, the little prince’s fox left his trainer.
But my little fox showed his sharp teeth and claws to tear me apart and trample me.
My hands gathered more tightly, and the edges and corners of the brooch were painful.
I raised my fist and threw it hard. The
small rusty metal rolled twice, fell into the cracks of the manhole cover, and rolled into the city’s pickled sewers.
It’s rotten and smelly.
In fact, this is not the first time that bullying has happened.
It all started half a month ago.
First, my boyfriend Qi Fangming, who always held me in the palm of his hand and held me in the sky, snubbed me inexplicably.
Phone calls are not answered, messages are not returned, and unexpected encounters in school are like strangers.
Hazing and isolation come next.
A break, back to the classroom, paper airplanes all over the floor.
It was my textbook and homework that had been torn out page by page and folded into a “masterpiece.”. Qi Yi, a member of the
publicity committee, picked one up and flew to me.
The sharp point poked me in the eye, I crouched down in pain, and another girl immediately grabbed my hair and lifted me up from the ground.
She freed one hand and shoved a handful of chalk into my mouth unexpectedly.
Lin yuan, we’ve been upset with you for a long time. You, like your shameless mother, are born to be cheap!
“I heard that your mother slept with people and destroyed other people’s families, so that you could go to our international school?”
Foul language flooded in, not on the chest, set off a thick sense of suffocation.
“So what if you hook up with Chi Fang-ming? Can you ask him if he still wants you now?”
Qi Yi’s last sentence pulled me back to sobriety.
I’m not a sitting victim. I had spat chalk in my
hand, and my mouth was full of the disgusting, dry smell of plaster.
Walking up to Qi Yi, while she was laughing proudly, I grabbed her hair, pulled it down, and stuffed the chalk back into her mouth.
I deliberately crushed it to pieces, thin enough to choke her snot with tears, and lay on the table coughing and retching.
Have a good time?
Just so so, but there is a price to be paid for this general pleasure. When
the bell rang, the head teacher walked into the class, and the “witnesses” all spoke with one voice, accusing me of bullying Qi Yi.
The head teacher picked up a paper airplane and opened it. Inside was my name and my notes. At a glance, he understood it.
He opened his mouth and, without waiting for the sentence to be pronounced, Qi Fangming came in with his pockets in his pocket.
He smelled of smoke. He never used to touch these things.
“Wrong class.” He said on purpose.
Coldly sweeping away some of the “tragic situation” in front of him, Qi Fangming opened his mouth as if nothing had happened.
“Teacher Sun, what’s wrong with your class? Why did Lin yuan bully Chi Yi? The
school governor’s son has spoken, and the farce can be concluded.
“Lin yuan, apologize to Chi Yi, and then go to the door to stand in class.”
Without waiting for me to open my mouth, he blocked my way: “If Chi Yi doesn’t accept, according to the school rules, the school can ask you to leave school.”
I am not stingy with the word “sorry”, especially in such a place where there is no justice.
To my surprise, Qi Yi accepted it happily. I didn’t know until
a long time later that that was what Qi Fangming meant.
He let them beat me, bully me, and treat me like a dog for fun.
Only two, one can not force me away, two can not hurt my hands. Should
I thank him?
Maybe.
I studied the violin for twelve years.
Going to the Conservatory of Music and becoming a real violinist is my pursuit when I was young. Violinists’hands are their lives.
Thank him for trampling my body under my feet, but still not forgetting to protect my dream in my hands.
Very punk, very touching.
Qi Yi’s attack was just the beginning. After that, dead spiders, 502 glue, red ink and rotten food frequently appeared in my desk and schoolbag. All
this was acquiesced and supported by Qi Fangming.
My mother did not sit idly by, she did not hesitate to take me to the police, but there is no evidence, it is difficult to file a case, can only let our mother and daughter go back to wait for news.
Later, she came to the school again and strongly demanded that the school take responsibility for this and stop such bullying.
Qi Yi was called to the principal’s office, and she said something that suddenly enlarged my mother’s pupils.
Consternation, helplessness and self-reproach climbed up her face.
My mother suddenly bowed to the headmaster and said that she had caused trouble to the headmaster and that she would take care of me in the future.
I didn’t hear what Chi Yi said, but I vaguely heard the name “Chi Fang-ming.”.
That’s when I activated the protection mechanism. I filtered it out.
I really don’t want to believe that all this has anything to do with him, even though the clues have grown so luxuriantly that they can’t be ignored.
Until the spikes of the brooch stuck to my skin, I had to believe.
5
How did you get it? Who did it?
My mother, in fact, is not an unqualified mother.
As soon as I opened the door, wearing a ragged sweater and the blood on my face, she rushed up with heartache and shook my body like crazy.
I believe that if I give a name at random now, she will rush out with a knife.
Unless the person I’m talking about is..
“Chi Fang-ming.” I swallowed a mouthful of saliva and stared at her.
My mother stopped moving.
“Mom will give you a band-aid, and mom will disinfect you..”
She didn’t take the knife, she didn’t rush out, she turned back to her room.
Why?
Yes, Qi Fangming is my childhood sweetheart for more than ten years.
Yes, his father is a well-known entrepreneur, a school trustee, and an untouchable figure.
Yeah, he’s pathetic. His mother jumped off the roof a few years ago.
Then what?
Then everyone has to fear him and protect him? If
everything is related to him, no one will seek justice, and there is no justice in the world?
“No, Mom. I know. I don’t blame him. He’s not wrong. It’s my fault, and it’s my fault.”
I slapped my bloody wound vindictively in front of her.
The wound burst open, and beads of blood fell on my hand and on her face.
“Blame me for this mole. Blame me for being ugly.”
She wept, tears streaming down the lachrymal mole at the corner of her eye.
She knew I wasn’t ugly. I looked so much like her, with the same peach blossom eyes, the same nose, and the same mole.
She’s a beauty that men flock to. How can I be ugly?
I don’t blame you. Wish. You didn’t do anything wrong. Blame mom. Blame mom. But don’t argue with him, okay? If you want to hate him, just hate your mother. Forgive him, don’t hate him, okay?
Not good. There are not so many good things
in the world.
I go to school with a band-aid.
Unfortunately, when I was on my period, I had an unbearable abdominal pain and fell on the table with a pale face.
Every menstrual period, I am very uncomfortable, in the past Qi Fang remember in mind, warm baby, painkillers, brown sugar water are ready.
This is no exception. During the
lunch break, he came to our class specially and sat behind me, talking and laughing with several classmates, one of whom also participated in the evil deeds I suffered yesterday.
“Chi-yi, if you don’t feel well, go and make her a cup of brown sugar water.”
Qi Fangming spoke, Qi Yi even if full of anger, still do.
I turned my head to look at him. Looking at each other
briefly, his eyes were as deep as the sea, disgust, pity, hostility, regret, so many complex and contradictory things, he could hold them all.
But all I see is confusion and hatred.
I mouthed a silent comparison with him: “Why?”
He smiled contemptuously, as if I didn’t deserve to know the answer.
Soon, the hot water came and Qi Yi put it heavily on my desk.
Qi Fangming came over and looked down at me.
He pinched the bottle until it was so hot that he let go of his hand and shook it in an exaggerated way. “You’re so hot,” he said angrily. “How can you drink it?”
Chi Yi rolled her eyes and said, “If you don’t drink, forget it.”
“I still want to drink. Be willing. Be obedient. Drink more hot water during your period.”
Qi Fangming suddenly squatted at my feet, pushing aside the broken hair soaked by cold sweat in front of my forehead, so gentle that it could melt me, just like every moment in the past.
Even if I do not understand too much, his tenderness at the moment, is the poison around the finger, a mouthful, intestines through the stomach rotten.
Qi Fangming raised the cup to my mouth.
“Drink it.”
“How to drink?” If you
drink it, the hot liquid will attack all the way from the tongue, the throat, the esophagus, and the fragile mucosa. Why do
I think he wants me dead?
“Wish, why aren’t you obedient?” Speak softly
, but like a ghost.
“I don’t drink.” I stiffened and resisted.
“You don’t drink?” He laughed and stood up. “That’s no good. Wishful. You must drink.” If
your mouth doesn’t drink, drink with your body.
Qi Fangming grinned grimly, lifted the cup high, and the hot brown liquid poured down from my head, wet my long hair, ran into my skirt, and dripped down.
Qi Yi also looked silly and covered her mouth without saying a word.
“She’s wet!” The boys laughed.
Hot, painful, sticky, humiliating. I stood up and wiped the spray from my face in a surge of
simple pain and hatred.
“Chi Fang-ming.” My voice was cold. “I don’t know why. I don’t even care why.” When I
said I didn’t care, his laughing body shivered.
I pulled the patch, revealing the ferocious scar below. He didn’t like the mole, and I wanted him to see it clearly.
But to do evil is to do it. All that you have done, I will get it back myself.
I picked up the empty bottle and threw it at him.
Qi Fangming caught it steadily, but his face was lost. After
seven
days of twists and turns, I finally fell ill. I have
a high fever, and my mother takes care of me at home. When I
left my bedroom, I heard her calling intermittently, saying that I was sick, that she wanted to transfer me to another school, and sometimes Qi Fangming’s name.
The messages were so noisy and fragmentary that it was hard for me to understand how they were connected, and I really couldn’t guess who was on the other end of the phone.
In the evening, I received a message from Qi Fangming.
Why don’t you come to school?
I didn’t reply.
A few minutes later, another one. The water temperature was not that high
yesterday. It won’t burn you. Before
I could speak, he comforted himself.
Followed by. Do you have a
bad stomachache? There are painkillers in the left drawer of
your sideboard. It
was immediately withdrawn, and he sent a new one. Will
you come to school tomorrow? What does it matter to him whether
I come to school or not?
Oh, minus the fun guy.
I turned a blind eye to all this, and in the wee hours of the morning, he even dialed a phone, only rang twice, and hung up in a hurry.
Replaced by the last message of the evening.
[Go to bed early and the pain will go away.]
The next day, the fever subsided a little, 38.3 degrees Celsius, still very uncomfortable, my mother helped me ask for a day off.
At night, Qi Fangming’s message came a little earlier than yesterday.
Why don’t you practice the violin? It’s still uncomfortable. How does
he know I didn’t play the violin?
Is he downstairs of my house?
I rubbed my temples irritably, dragged my sick body up and drew the curtains. It was
a long time before he sent the next one.
Lin yuan, you will still come to school, right? Don’t
you always want to know why this happens? I’ll tell you when you come to school tomorrow.
I thought about it and finally replied with two words.
[Not necessary.] The fact of
violence happened, even if the big secret can not redeem his sin, then why care?
He replied in a second.
Wish, I beg you, you take a soft, go to the spot off, I let you go.
I can imagine him gnashing his teeth and competing with himself, but what the hell.
Turn it off. Close your eyes.
I slept well.
The next day, I went back to school. Early in
the morning, Qi Fangming pretended to pace outside our class unintentionally.
Seeing me, his eyes brightened, darkened, and turned to a nameless, dumb fire, resentful and strong. After
a few days of rest, my fever subsided, but the bully’s interest did not diminish.
Sure enough, after school, a group of people led by Qi Yi blocked me.
They pushed me into the corner, and Qi Yi started tearing my school uniform directly.
“Bitch!” She scolded me. I am no stranger to
this, I am surprised, is her hoarse voice, as well as the surge of crying.
She’s the abuser. Why is she crying?
Pulling off her coat, she continued to pull my skirt, pulling with red eyes, and occasionally slapped me in the face.
I stared at her.
It’s all your fault, bitch! Even when you’re wet, you don’t forget to seduce men! Until the girl next to her hit me hard on the head.
From their fragmentary words, I finally found out that I had been away for a few days.
Qi Fangming brought the same hot water to Qi Yi.
“Did you want Lin yuan to die that day when you gave her such a lot of water?”
He, too, stood looking down at her, ordering with the anticipation of reckoning: “Try drinking it.”
Qi Yi opened the lid, and the heat covered her eyes in an instant.
She drank it and burned her tongue.
That’s ridiculous.
This is ridiculous!
Qi Fangming was unreasonable and put my illness on Qi Yi’s head, and Qi Yi put the embarrassment back on my head. The end of the
world is my bad luck.
And now, in the midst of the disaster, Chi Fang-ming “happened” to pass by the entrance of the alley.
Qi Yi strangled me, and when I struggled, he appeared and cleared his throat.
Qi Yi was suddenly cramped, and his flustered hands were hidden behind him, waiting for his attitude towards the bullying and sentencing me to deal with the follow-up.
Qi Fangming glanced coldly in my direction.
“Her bones are hard, and she doesn’t know how to give in.” He raised his chin.
“You’re so free, why don’t you teach her well?”
Qi Yi breathed a sigh of relief, first stunned for a moment, and then clung to the corners of her mouth with a sinister smile. When he
said these words, Qi Fangming swallowed unnaturally in his throat, almost unable to form a complete sentence.
Before I left, the look on my face was a bright plea.
Beg me to give in? At the beh
est, Qi Yi’s movements became more and more insolent, throwing me around like a punching bag.
She was soon tired, panting, and telling others.
Lin wished to get wet in full view of everyone that day. How proud he was. Why don’t you take her clothes off and let her show us her ability to seduce men!
A surge of nausea went up my throat.
They’re playing for real. As soon as
Qi Yi gave the order, the cloth rattled and was pulled off my body, accompanied by the explanation of the video and the sound of taking pictures.
I wanted to escape, but my hair was grabbed, countless hands pressed me to the ground, and Qi Yi’s feet stepped on my face.
People are so pure bad.
At this moment, the dirty pieces of broken glass in the mud are the last life I can see. Without hesitation,
I grabbed it and stabbed Qi Yi on the instep of her foot.
She let out a scream that startled the birds in all directions.
I quickly got up, protected the remaining clothes on my body, let my hair loose, lifted the tiny piece of broken glass, and put my back against the corner.
Don’t come near! Stay back! You are committing a crime!
Unfortunately, in vain, too futile. There were so many of them
that they quickly controlled me, and the glass was snatched and fell into Qi Yi’s hands.
Qi Yi’s eyes were red and she rushed at me like crazy: “How dare you stab me!”! How dare you stab me! As
she murmured, she suddenly stared at my left hand and gave a strange and vicious laugh.
“I hear you play the violin very well, and you want to go to a conservatory..”
She held the murder weapon high and grinned like a ferocious devil.
One time.
Blood spilling.
Twice.
I heard something breaking.
Three times.
Four.
……
Frequent and disorderly falls on my palm, my wrist..
She broke my life.
Ironically, in the end, it was Qi Fangming who called a halt to all this. When he
heard the noise, he ran back like crazy, drove the crowd away, took off his school uniform and put it on me, kneeling in the corner. “Get up,” he said in a cold
, trembling voice.
He was emboldening himself with his mock indifference and calmness.
I don’t want him.
“Don’t pretend, Lin yuan, get up.”
I took my right hand away, revealing a scarlet dripping below.
He’s useless. He fainted first.
Holding the wall, Qi Fangming kept shaking his dazed head and took out his cell phone, trembling:
“I’ll call an ambulance. Don’t be afraid. Nothing will happen. I’ll take you to the hospital now..”
“No need.” I stood up and pushed him away with my bloody hands.
“Chi Fang-ming, don’t give in to me, don’t apologize, and don’t regret it. It makes me sick.”
He tried to help me, stretched out his arm, but didn’t know where to put it.
“May, may, you will be all right, your hand will be all right..”
Chi Fang-ming was afraid, and sometimes he was afraid, too. He begged me to give him courage. Right? With
my last ounce of strength, I tried my best and shouted at him, “Get out!”! Get out! In the
hospital, the doctor and my mother announced the result with regret. Multiple tendon and ligament ruptures in
fingers and wrists. To put it mildly
, at least for a few years, I can’t lift the violin, and my fingers can’t touch the strings.
No one dares to tell me directly.
But I am not stupid, move my fingers, I can feel, once very flexible, they are now too weak to be a part of my body.
I leaned back on the couch, squinted and asked my mother, “Did I deserve it?”
The whole ward fell into silence.
Next to the nurse’s aunt is also a moment of silence, close together, in order to hear what I did at a young age, in the end, to get this deserved end. Why should
I resist them? Why should I just take off my clothes? Why should I just take some pictures? Don’t they just want to humiliate me and trample me under their feet?
I hammered my right hand on the bed, one after another.
“Let them be good, let them be good. What can’t I see or take pictures of a rotten body like mine?”
My mother did not speak, poured a cup of warm water beside me, and went out.
Not a piece of time, in the corridor, came a crisp slap, a piece of Qing, is a slap.
Then she came in again, with a red face and red eyes.
“Wish, it was your mother who didn’t protect you well in the past, and it won’t happen again.”
Harm? Things in the past? Why do you say it.
Once upon a time, the little fox said he would protect me.
In the future.
There is no future.
Qi Fangming has been outside the ward, refused to leave, did not dare to come in.
My mother went out to kick him out.
He chased my mom to the pantry, stopped her and closed the door to the microwave.
“Don’t give it to the instant rice balls from the supermarket downstairs. There are carrots in it. She hates carrots.” Without saying a word,
my mother suddenly raised the rice ball, and the fire in her eyes could kill people.
Qi Fangming closed his eyes, waiting for the rice ball to fall, and the rice grains scattered on his head.
She can’t do it.
She clenched her teeth and lowered her arm. “If Shu-ching were still alive, would she feel better if she saw you like this?”
Shuqing, Wu Shuqing, is the name of Qi Fangming’s mother.
These words seemed to suddenly touch his scales, and Chi Fang-ming ran away with a bad breath, only to angrily drop a sentence: “You don’t deserve to mention my mother!”
My mother looked at his back forlornly. After a while, she whispered, “You don’t deserve to care about Wanyuan.” After
being driven away, Qi Fangming sent a message to bombard me.
[Sorry.]
[Sorry.]
[Sorry.]
Play screen after screen. When
my mother went downstairs to pay the expenses, she found that Qi Fangming had paid all my expenses early in the morning.
“Come here.” So she called her father and said a few words in a cold voice, “Take the money.”
Not long after, Uncle Qi came, but not to get the money.
Facing my wound wrapped in gauze, his cheeks bulged slightly and he said nothing.
My mother sat on the bed, and their eyes were deliberately and carefully staggered.
Until, suddenly, Uncle Qi hit the wall with a hard punch.
“Lin yuan suffered because I didn’t take care of the child.”
He took a deep breath and called my mother by her first name.
“Wenjing, if you have any needs, just mention them, and I will try my best to make up for them.”. I will also deal with the school. Anyone who hurts her will certainly pay the price.
My mother is still silent. Will
they all? No, there is one person who is an exception.
“You said last time that you wanted to transfer your child to another school. I’ll arrange it when I get back.”
My mother still ignored me.
He could only scratch his head in embarrassment. I’ll go first. Call if you have something to do. My mother got up when
she was almost at the door.
“Old Qi.” She called to him.
Both of them lowered their heads, and the other’s face was like a scorching sunlight, dazzling, oppressive, and dizzy.
You know, Fang Ming shouldn’t hate Wanyuan. Whatever has happened before is what we adults have done, and I hope we haven’t done anything wrong. Uncle
Qi was stupefied. He nodded and answered, “Yes.”
They are familiar and tacit, close at hand, but separated by gullies.
Our two families were not like this before. Qi Fang and I knew each other very well. Our mother was a close friend for decades. The two families have always been harmonious and intimate.
Qi Fangming’s father once loved his mother deeply, as if he had no principles and no bottom line.
It all started three years ago when his mother jumped from the roof and ended her life.
Later, my parents divorced, and my father walked away, leaving no contact with our mother and daughter except for the monthly living expenses on time. What happened
three years ago?
No one told me, no one told Qi Fangming.
Like my mother said, that’s their adult business.
Our little world can’t fit in, and we shouldn’t know. In the
next few days, Qi Fangming came to the hospital frequently and looked at me secretly in the corridor.
The nurse sister told me. “That boy seems to like you,”
she said. When she
said this, she smiled with arched eyebrows and eyes, for what she had witnessed and thought was a pure and romantic teenager.
“He’s young, and he’s nagging like a little old man. He keeps telling me that you’re afraid of injections, so be gentle and don’t hurt you.”
It hurts?
How absurd! He is afraid of my pain.
Ha, I really want to tell Qi Yi that they smile together, Qi Fangming is afraid of my pain!
“Sister, he’s not a little old man.”
I told the nurse seriously, “He’s scum.”
I decided to meet this scumbag.
Walking past, Qi Fangming was sitting in a chair, burying himself in brushing the web page, anxiously sliding down the pages, his wrinkled nose moving, nervous and excited.
My shoes stopped in front of him, and he looked up impatiently, surprised and frightened.
But apparently, he didn’t know how to face me. He didn’t say a word.
“Stop searching.”
I looked at his eye-burning “Can you play the violin with a broken finger tendon” on the screen and let out a contemptuous laugh.
“I can’t. I can’t pull.”
No.. It won’t. Immersed in his own preconceived answers,
he refused to stop sliding his fingers, but whenever he saw the words “not necessarily” and “possibly,” his eyes suddenly flashed, and he clicked in and read carefully line by line.
He can’t admit, admit that he screwed up, that substantial harm happened, and that nothing can be done.
“I really can’t.”
“I’ll look again.”
“Chi Fang-ming, I said I can’t!” I was suddenly so violent that I knocked off his cell phone. The
quiet hospital corridor echoed with the shattering sound of glass falling to the ground and my uncontrolled roar.
Can’t, can’t pull! It’s ruined. Don’t you understand?
I raised my hand, which was trembling with bandages, and put it in front of him, word by word.
This hand, it can’t play the violin. No conservatory, no golden hall, no violinist, my dream is broken, the life I once yearned for and pursued is destroyed, destroyed, destroyed into slag..
Qi Fangming’s eyes stagnated, as if something had broken.
He bit his lower lip until it bled, as if he wouldn’t cry. “No, no,”
he consoled himself numbly.
“Okay, no. If the killer says no, he means no.”
I was too lazy to pester and turned to go.
Qi Fangming quickly got up and stopped me.
“I don’t want to. I wish. I never thought it would be like this.”. I am crazy, I am crazy, I am tortured by that picture out of control, I will do this to you.
That day, I was just outside the alley, and I thought if they went too far, I would stop them right away, but it was too late. I don’t want to destroy you, I just want to..
I don’t want to hear it.
Raised his hand, a slap on his face, a very clear sound, heavy to my palm wooden pain.
“Shut your mouth and go to hell with your self-righteous reasons and secrets.”
His face was thrown away by me, and my hand rose and fell again.
The palm print is impressive.
“Scum.”
I spat at him.
Still want to hit, the nurse hears sound to come over, pull away me: “What do you do?”? This is a hospital!
I gasped, my chest heaving, and I waved my arms but I couldn’t touch him.
“Yes, yes. I’m a scumbag. I’m sorry.”
Qi Fangming looked up at me, half knelt down, raised his hand, and slapped himself in the face. Ten times more powerful
than I am.
Qi Fangming persevered in coming to the hospital, and when he saw my mother, they all looked complicated. On the day
I was discharged from the hospital, Chi Fang-ming ran after me to tell me about his “deeds.”.
He said that he had contacted a foreign hospital and would invite a top chief physician to treat me. As soon as three years later, I would be able to play the most moving melody on the violin again.
He also said that he had called the police and that Qi Yi was an adult and would be judged by the law for her actions.
He took out his cell phone and played a video of Qi Yi’s tearful apology when she saw the coffin. None of the other bullies involved
that day could escape, and the lightest punishment was to drop out of school.
“And you?” Holding back my nausea at the video, I asked him, “What about you?”
This question poked his life gate and defeated him in an instant.
I sneered, “It says in the book, ‘If you start something, there will be no one to follow.’ You are the one who deserves to die.”
Qi Fangming turned his head shyly.
I don’t need to talk nonsense. Walk away quickly.
“Wishing, what do you want?”
He ran after me and grabbed my sleeve, but he couldn’t. His little finger caught my bandage reluctantly and refused to loosen it.
As if clinging to the last hope: “Wish, I can do whatever you want.”
I unscrewed the vacuum cup and handed it over: “Drink it.”
Qi Fangming did not hesitate, regardless of the water temperature, poured into his mouth.
Soon, he was stunned and lost.
Not boiled water.
45 degrees, warm and appropriate.
I watched his clownish showmanship. “Think it’s boiling water? What are you dreaming about?”? Do you really want to atone for your sins, Chi Fang-ming?
He’s like a bad joke. Redemption
by what? By being beaten, verbally abused, written on your face, or having a bottle of hot water poured down your face? Chi Fang-ming, it’s too light. It’s too light. No one needs it, and no one will forgive you.
I told him, “You can never atone for it. Take your sins with you until you die.”
That night, I opened the social software.
A video of Qi Fangming’s confession and apology was forwarded everywhere. In the
video, he crouched in the corner where I was bullied with bad words written on his face.
He covered his head with a plastic bag and felt the suffocation of my neck.
He drank a bottle of boiling brown sugar water, and the breath was hot and painful.
He used all his abilities to spread it to as many people as possible.
For me to see.
I saw it, and then?
I rested at home for half a month. In the days that
followed, I tried again and again to hold up the violin with my fatigue left hand.
The wound opened, blood stained the gauze, and still could not be lifted.
Fortunately, with a good right hand, I carefully edited an email and sent it to a famous Dutch school where Qi Fangming received an offer early in the morning. In the
email, I recorded in detail how he instigated, guided and encouraged others to commit atrocities against me.
Some of the evidence I had prepared, including his voice of apology to me, was added to the attachment.
Soon, I received a reply that they had verified the truth of my story and finally decided to withdraw the offer and never accept Qi Fangming’s application again.
Holland was the place his mother wanted to go most, and this school was his dream for many years.
Then, let the dream break together.
Qi Fangming soon pestered me.
He blocked me outside the hospital when I went to the hospital for a review alone.
I hunched back reflexively, and I’ve been stuck in traffic too many times in the past. It is
often followed by a variety of tricks and moves, but in the final analysis, it is fists, humiliation, physical torture, and loss of dignity.
“I won’t hurt you, Woo Woo. Don’t be afraid of me.”
He held out his hand to me helplessly, and I shrank back more, my thin back against the cold wall.
Have you come to ask for punishment? I did send the email, but you deserve it!
“Yes, I deserve it. I deserve it.” When he
said this, Chi Fang-ming was so pious that he said, “But what I got is not enough, and it’s far from enough to compensate you.” After
a long silence, he gallantly took out a few tattered booklets from his schoolbag. I actually picked up all your homework and textbooks that were torn up
last time, and I pasted them up page by page. I thought, I thought, when all this is over, I’ll give it back to you, and we’ll be back together.
I pretended to be moved and took it, then my face suddenly changed, tore it into pieces in front of him, threw it into the trash can, and turned away.
I tore it thin, slowly, hard, like he had torn me.
Chi Fang-ming looked dumbfounded. He was stunned for a long time before he caught up with him. He asked cautiously,
“Wish, you won’t leave. You’ll come back, right?”. When you have improved your health, you will go back to school.
“Yes, I will.”
I responded lightly.
Actually, it won’t.
But it is more cruel to give him hope and then break it.
On the way, he sent me a message.
[Wishing, your lachrymal mole is actually beautiful.]
But when I saw it painted on my mother’s face, I really went crazy, and I didn’t have any sense left. I’m really sorry about what happened
later. For the first time,
I moved around in the middle of the night.
I guessed what had happened, but I was still confused, and I replied for a long time.
But what does that have to do with me? Am I not a victim?
Soon, Uncle Qi, as he said, arranged the transfer for me.
At my mother’s request, it was a school in another city, far away from this restless place. Uncle
Qi came to deliver the materials to us, and I had to send him downstairs alone.
“When Chi Fang-ming’s mother jumped off a building three years ago, it had something to do with my mother, didn’t it?” In
the stairwell, I asked out of the blue.
I’m not that cool. I want the truth. Uncle
Qi did not answer, silently walked out a few steps, quickly hidden in the corner of the stairs, he finally nodded like surrender after a sigh.
“Mmm.”
“Because my mother intervened in your marriage at that time?”
There was another long silence, followed by a “Mmm.”
I laughed out loud. “But what did I do wrong?” Uncle
Qi threw the cigarette at his feet, crushed it twice, and put it out.
“You didn’t do anything wrong. Never doubt that.”. It was Fang Ming who was wrong, and there is no denying it.
Yeah, I’m not the perfect victim, but I’m the innocent victim.
Downstairs, Uncle Qi stood in front of the car with an expressionless face and did not go in for a long time.
Like after the inner battle between heaven and man, he finally took out his cell phone and slipped out a chat record. I’m
not looking for a reason for Fang Ming. If I’m wrong, I’m wrong. But if you want, you can look at the reason why he went crazy. A month ago, he saw this.
I took my cell phone, and the chat record was the last conversation between Qi Fangming’s parents three years ago, with only one sentence and one picture. In the
picture is a familiar but long-lost woman, Wu Shuqing, the mother of Qi Fangming. In the corner of her eye
, she touched a strange mole with a pen, which was exactly the same position as me and my mother.
Her expression was like crying and laughing, and she was wearing a goose-yellow skirt, which was her dress on the day she jumped off the building.
And the only one was a farewell: “Look at this mole, does it look quiet?”
Wenjing is my mother’s name.
All conjectures have been confirmed, and there is no doubt that Qi Fangming and I came to the same conclusion when we saw these records.
My mother, as a third party, broke up his parents’ marriage, and his mother, Aunt Wu, until the day of her suicide, was still humbly imitating my mother in order to gain her husband’s non-existent love.
My eyes widened and the phone slipped out of my hand. The
truth is disgusting. I want to vomit. Uncle
Chi bent down to pick it up and said lightly, “Fang Ming’s reaction was the same as yours.”
Then he decided that my mother was a bitch, that I was a little bitch, that the lachrymal mole was the original sin, and that I should be bullied for it.
“However, you are still young, and when you grow up, you may find that many things are different from what you imagined.” In the
hospital, Qi Fangming ran into my mother and said angrily that she was a bad woman. When she said that everything I had experienced was caused by her, my mother’s face was so complicated.
She responded with the same words.
As in The Little Prince, the fox says to the little prince, “What is essential is invisible to the eye.” On the eve of
preparing to transfer to another school, my mother packed her luggage at home and pressed a very old and almost rotten copy of The Little Prince into the bottom of the suitcase.
I went to school to pack up my things and go through the formalities.
I deliberately did not wear bandages and gloves, but showed my terrible left hand, so that everyone could see the atrocities that some people had experienced and others might be experiencing in this school. The moment he
saw me, Qi Fangming grinned unconsciously, and he smiled sincerely.
He decided that as long as I was alive and here, everything could be turned over and we could do it again.
The wound will heal, the past will be forgotten, and the wish will forgive her little fox, because they are the only one for each other. It’s just a matter of
time. He’s confident.
Until he saw that I was not sitting in my seat, but picking up the broken textbooks. The moment he left the class with
his schoolbag on his back, Qi Fangming finally collapsed.
He stopped me like crazy. “Wanyi, where are you going?” Without stopping or looking at him,
I knocked his hand away and quickened my pace.
“Where are you going? You’ll be back soon, won’t you?”
“No, not coming back.” He couldn’t stand
the answer.
“You promised you wouldn’t leave!”
“You promised to protect me for the rest of my life.”
Qi Fangming was speechless and could only pursue him:
“Wish, you beat me, scold me, write on my face, and pour me hot water.”. You can do whatever you want. Don’t go. I don’t want you to get rid of the mole. I don’t want you to give in. May I be soft with you, I can do anything as long as you stay.
“No need.”
He spoke persistently of cruel ways, as if his sins would be washed away and written off as long as he had experienced them.
“Chi Fang-ming, you’re so ugly.”
Looking at his funny appearance, I laughed sadly, “I am not ugly, the ugly person has always been you.”. But I let you go.
I stopped, and that was the last thing I said to him. “Later, you’ll have enough to torment yourself.” My mother and
I left the city. The entanglement between
our two families has finally come to an end.
The doctor said that it would take at least five to ten years for my hand injury to have the possibility of playing the violin again, and only the possibility.
Maybe I can go to a conservatory of music and become a violinist, but that’s a long time to come. I have to prepare for the entrance examination.
Life is broken, after all, we have to reorganize ourselves, even if some are difficult, some are unwilling, even if it is not the appearance of the dream, not the direction that has been unswerving. In
these days, the news of Qi Fangming also comes occasionally, after hearing that he lost the offer of that school, he is preparing for the examination of domestic universities.
He plans to go to medical school, or hand surgery, which is not popular.
Unfortunately. Once
, he met a gangster from another school who was bullying a girl. The identity of the son of the
school governor, apart from this school, has not become good.
He is a brave man at heart.
The scum scratched the girl’s face with broken glass, and he blocked it empty-handed.
Glass from the finger to the wrist, 20 centimeters of injury, see flesh and blood, broke his hand tendon.
I could not pick up the violin, but from then on, Qi Fangming could not pick up the scalpel. He laughed and cried when he
was taken to the hospital.
He said, “It hurts, it really hurts.”
He called my name, and he said how much pain she felt when she was willing to suffer all this, how much pain she felt when she was willing, how could I, how could I let willing suffer so much. I’m a scumbag, I’m a scumbag..
Later, the girl Qi Fangming rescued often followed him.
Like the little fox following the little prince.
Men tame each other, selfish and self-pitying, and eventually disperse with pain and the color of the wheat, often so.
Hearing this, I do not feel sorry, nor do I feel happy.
I only feel a kind of torture, resentment has been, but this memory, or to torture us for a lifetime.
Since then, I have deliberately stopped accepting any information about him.
The little fox was gone, and the little prince had to walk the rest of the way alone.
In the evening, I came home from school.
My mother is sitting on the sofa and turning over the book “The Little Prince”. She reads it over and over again, but she still loves it.
“Come back, wish.” When she saw me, she laughed, and the lachrymal mole curved with the corner of her eyes, striking and ghostly.
“Mother goes to fill the bowl.”
When she turned to go to the kitchen, I stared at the book. Somehow, I always felt that there was Pandora’s box in it, mysterious and taboo, scratching my heart and lungs, falling my steps.
I can only pick it up devilishly.
Opening it, there was a yellowing card with a very beautiful font on it, which transcribed a sentence from the book.
“Quiet, because you are my rose.” There is another sentence
on the reverse side.
“But the world does not allow two roses to fall in love.” It
was signed by Wu Shuqing.
Three years ago, Wu Shuqing took her own life.
She left this world with nothing.
Only the mole in the corner of her eye, which took away her rose.
(The end of the full text)
Record No.: YXX14RRzpw2cYYYJb8NiMmJy
231
Beacon Fire Troubled Times, Love
in a Fallen City Xiao Qiao
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