Socially afraid patients learn the secret to chat in five minutes, a core thinking mode plus four golden laws, and read it carefully so that you can change your “fammy tongue” and get “high-spoken” and become the king of the social circle!
Five thousand super-simplistic early warning, and if you don’t have the time, at least one core mode of thinking.
1 Core Thinking Mode: Make each other the lead
Are you in a situation like this?
Why can’t you just say three words and the girl says she’s busy and someone’s always making her laugh?
Why is it that every time I say something, someone else always gets a lively atmosphere and becomes the focus?
Why am I labeled as an iron straight guy who doesn’t talk?
Actually, you’re right about talking to people, just having problems with how you think.
The same subject, different ways of thinking, and the end effects of talking are very different.
In essence, chat is the collision of two minds, the output and input of each other’s ideas, and if you can make each other feel satisfied and comfortable during the collision, you certainly can talk.
I found out that with a conversational mode of thinking, one can beat the other:
When you look at each other as the main person in the conversation, every step of the conversation goes around the other, making it feel like the “principal” thing.
Take an example.
You were forced to date, you saw a girl with short hair, you wore a t-shirt, you were cute, you liked it, you wanted to talk.
Which one do you think is best?
A: I didn’t think you were so cute. I thought all the girls were ugly. It’s just a little taller.
B: I think you’re right. How old are you? How many times have you been in love?
C: Do you like it too? My sister likes it. She bought a bunch of toys to play at home.
D: You look small, young and cute, and my mom won’t set me up for a date.
People who can see that “C” or “D” is the most appropriate, A.B. The answer is a textbook-level reverse.
In options A and B, “I” is the main character of the conversation, and A is a big fan of “opposion” and, while she exaggerates girls, it demeans them. “B” is too aggressive for “breaching the border.”
In the C-D option, “girl” is the main character of the chat. C, starting with topics that may be of interest to the other, D, the whole sense of humor exaggerating each other, is focused on each other’s emotions and feelings. From any point of view, girls find it useful. Because she’s at the center of the chat, the spotlights are on her.
Now, you have to read it in your heart three times:
That’s what I’m talking about!
That’s what I’m talking about!
That’s what I’m talking about!
Keep that in mind, turning the conversation directly from the way you think and reminding yourself to focus on each other ‘ s feelings and emotions.
Just like when you read this article, you can think: What can you do to spoil the iron-wood that you use to communicate across time and space?
Give me a compliment, you’re spoiling me — it’s proof of actual action, you’ve remembered that.
Anyway, whatever it is to talk about it, believe that the other is the main character, and it’s on TA.
For example, watching TV with your girlfriend:
Girlfriend: Whoa! Li Yi-Fung is so handsome!
You: So what? He doesn’t have a girlfriend like me.
In addition to this, daily life and work, whether it’s a charisma, or a family friend, or a conversation with a co-worker’s leader, or with a stranger, can certainly avoid many troubles and even unexpected gains in life and work.
But this pattern of thinking sounds simple, but it is not easy to get a complete picture.
Next, I’ll share four golden laws to help you get to the essence quickly!
Gold Code 1: Let each other talk.
This move is definitely an instrument for solving the “no topic” problem, especially when it comes to chats that are new or not familiar.
Many times, boys who don’t talk tend to get caught up in the “one-and-one-a-half” mode, and they talk when they’re not careful.
For example:
You: What are you doing?
Sister: Eat.
You: What rice?
Girl: Rice.
And what is it?
Sister: Thailand.
You: Where exactly is Thailand?
Sister: I don’t know.
(O dear Prophet Mohammed – peace and blessings be upon him)
I don’t know.
Please don’t ask. She’s not a criminal, she’s not a criminal.
You keep asking questions so that girls have nothing else to say, so it’s easy to talk about. When you talk, the girl doesn’t feel any satisfaction or comfort. She’s all speechless and bored.
You’re just trying to care about girls, but the wrong way of expressing it is not good.
So, how do we avoid “one question and one answer”? “Feel” in the back.
In particular, to write on the answers given by the other party, to talk about their feelings and to throw out one or more topics.
For example:
You: What are you doing?
Sister: Eat.
You: Aren’t you hungry? I finished an hour ago. I’m walking. Ha-ha, but honestly, are you having a snack?
Sister: Balabala.
The addition of “feeling” has become evidently home-to-house chatting, which is more than twice as good as the “what to eat” before.
The following is a specific analysis:
From dinner hours, after dinner habits, food-related topics, “night nights”, to the more superficial topics, girls pick the most interesting answer.
For example:
If she says, “You have the habit of walking after dinner, raising old cadres.” I’m sorry.
That’s when you get to walk, talk about sports, talk about habits, talk about breeding, talk about character, etc.
Or did the girl say, “Eat a snack?” No way, it’ll get fat. I’m sorry.
Then you can talk about the type of snacks, diets, body ratios, diets, etc.
Remember, the logical order of this move is that you ask the question — the answer — you add yourself to the subject, and you fit into the subject — the other side gets the subject, opens the box.
Gold Code 2: Select only the right conversation
Sometimes you think it’s a good conversation, but it’s not.
Dr. Arthur Aron of American Psychology has done an experiment:
Sitting together in two groups of strangers, men and women, asking each other 36 questions in turn, answering the questions must be true, after which two people look at each other for four minutes, and the experiment is over.
Surprisingly, 37% of the experimenters sat together in class, and 35% started dating after the experiment.
And that, thanks to that 36 problems.
These problems are analysed in terms of the pattern of the interaction phase.
Phase I: Stranger phase.
It is appropriate to talk about topics that are objective, unrelated to or of little relevance to interlocutors.
For example, today’s temperature is higher than yesterday, and McDonald’s and Kentucky are better eaters.
This phase is mainly a shift from strangers to contacts, where two people begin to intersect.
Phase 2: Friends.
It is appropriate to talk to interlocutors, but not subjective. For example, my hometown is in xx, specialty is xx, or my occupation is xx, usually likes to eat xx.
At this point, the basics of the situation, the habits of life and so on give each other a preliminary impression.
Phase III: Friends.
It is appropriate to talk about in-depth topics that are relevant to interlocutors and subjective. For example, you’re so good at cooking that I have to come and eat, or I feel like you’re warm and you always bring strength.
And then you’ve become good friends, good friends, and you’ve often asked to eat, to share embarrassment and joy and to speak out.
Phase 4: Lover/obscurity.
It is appropriate to talk about topics between the sexes and very private topics. For example, I like it whether you wear makeup or not. You look like my next girlfriend.
And then you’ll be the closest people to each other, so you’ll tell each other what’s in your heart, and when something happens, you’ll think of each other first.
The above four phases represent a step-by-step approach to development for all friends and lovers. Although the unknown men and women in the experiment had only 45 minutes to complete four stages, in real life it could take months or even years.
Because we are always interrupted by all kinds of things, and very few of them have exclusive opportunities to ask questions, and the other side is moving slowly, for a variety of reasons, avoiding questions that it does not want to answer.
Of course, we can’t fantasize about getting each other to like themselves in 45 minutes, but with these four stages of asking questions, the process will be accelerated as a whole.
As a first step, look at the stage at which you and the other side are at and pick up only the topics that are at that stage, and do not overstep the level of questions, or let the other side be less fond of you.
The second step, after raising more than 10 questions at the current stage, is to try to cross the next stage, depending on each other ‘ s reactions and emotional tendencies.
If the will of the other party to continue talking to you is more evident, it means that you have crossed the line of success, and if the other party is slow, then you go back to the current stage of developing feelings.
Gold Code 3: Analyse and recognize each other’s emotional value
The reason why straight men are called straight is because they only know “just to reason.” In practice, however, girls understand that she is in the heart of the emotional vortex, trying to get comfort and care from you, not cold.
So, when you talk, you need to analyze and recognize each other’s emotional values and make each other feel that each other’s emotions are valued and recognized.
Take an example.
One day, the goddess wrote:
Yesterday I had barbecues with my girlfriend, but it didn’t taste like it. That’s why I made a real assessment in the troupe. I didn’t think the shopkeeper was not only apologizing, but I said it was my own fault. I’m so mad!
A straight guy who doesn’t talk.
It’s normal to have a barbecue and it’s the goddess himself, and the shopkeeper’s no big mistake.
So the straight guy replied:
Are you all right? It’s not too bad to have a barbeque. It’s also true that the shopkeeper replied. I know a barbeque that doesn’t burn. I’ll take you to dinner tomorrow.
Maybe you’ve got another chance to invite the goddess to dinner.
But in fact, the goddess’s heart is 99.9%:
He’s at the store? Even if it’s not a problem? Is that a big deal? Did the store answer the truth? So I’m the one who’s making this up? And he’s got a barbecue with his hands? Oh, eat yourself. Bye!
Finally, the invitation failed and the red exclamation mark was harvested.
So, what do people who talk think?
People usually talk about something, and there are two reasons for subconsciousness: to try to solve the problems it brings and to find the emotional value it brings.
So the goddess described her barbecue and highlighted two messages: one was burned several times, and the other was that the merchant responded to bad attitudes.
Disassembly:
The idea came up: asking about the injuries, expressing concern – delivering the burns or accompanying them to the hospital (increased access) – Help the goddess call the shopkeepers – That’s what it means.
So, the person who talks answers:
What? Are you burned? I happen to have some scalding. If it’s serious, why don’t you go to the hospital?
Besides, this is a bad business! I’m not going to his place for a barbecue! I’m gonna kick all my friends out of his house!
So the goddess hears what she wants to hear, and the emotions are given full attention and recognition, and the mood rises.
Did you learn?
So, next time the goddess tells you something, don’t rush back, analyze her emotional value, guess what she wants to hear, and give it to her.
Because sometimes the goddess doesn’t really want to do it, just needs you to comfort or care for her. If you didn’t give her what she wanted to hear, she would naturally look for someone else, and you wouldn’t be talking to her anymore.
Gold Code 4: End the conversation by “considering each other”
Even if you can talk again, there’s always a time when you can’t talk anymore. I’d rather do something meaningful, like reading books, gymnastics, learning a skill and not talking.
During the single period, almost my golden years of study, I was able to learn writing, fitness, Excel, PPT, PS, handiwork and so on, and to organize a systematic and comprehensive field course. So, when you suddenly have something, or when you clearly have something to do with each other, just say it’s over, don’t hesitate, don’t just disappear.
But when you finish the conversation, don’t be so hard to say, “I have things to do, I don’t talk about it” or “I’m a little busy, I can talk about it.”
It took you so much to get this high up, and it ended so cold, you’re done.
So to end the conversation by “thinking for the other side” and end it with a nice, sweet, and even a little pen for the next chat.
What to do: to end with something small on the other side. For example:
I thought you said the takeout was coming.
I can’t believe you’re going to the gym after all this talk.
If you need help, I’ll see you later
You must be tired. Get some rest.
I don’t know.
Above all, you have to be gentle enough to match the face bag with an absolute score!
Summarizing: To be a “high-spoken” person, you need a mindset plus four golden laws.
You want to hook up with the goddess right away?
Let’s move, like we’ve seen something good.
This will be the first step in your determination to practice this “core thinking” model, and I’m sure you’re going to win a big, big and big surprise.
Finally, send a thought map for this article. Remember to save the collection.
Record number: YX11dq88XlJ
I don’t know.
Keep your eyes on the road.
