4. Cai Wenji: Zhao Zhao Short Song

Cai Wenji: Zhao Zhao Short

Song 1

My sweetheart died that winter. Cao,

who wanted to render meritorious service for the country and wanted to be the general of the Western Expedition, disappeared in the snowy snow with injuries. Meet

again, the world only the power of prime minister Cao.

My name is Cai Yan, and the small character is Zhao Ji. My father said, “Zhao is like the bright moon, and Zhao Ji is the bright moon.”.

It is a beautiful jade and a bright moon, which shows that I was born to be a smart and beautiful child. When I was

very young, I knew that my father was a great man. He could draw, play the piano and study classics and history. He was a great Confucian scholar admired by everyone. In other words, in a group of educated people, he is the one who is particularly educated.

But in addition, he also likes to carry me on his shoulders and let me pick the wild flowers on the wall of Chen Liu’s old house.

He was over 40 years old before he had a daughter like me. People always wanted to have a son to inherit the family business, but he declined the proposal of the adopted children of his clansmen and took me by the hand to teach me how to hold a pen and write. On the day

of Kaimeng, he asked me, “What does Zhaoji want to be when she grows up?” As a matter of course,

I replied, “I want to be a great Confucian scholar like my father.”

He laughed, and the people in the old house laughed too, but there was helplessness and indulgence in the laughter. I frowned and asked, “Can’t Zhaoji be a great Confucian scholar in the world?”

Then everyone was even happier, as if I had the fearless taste of an ignorant person to say such a thing at such a young age.

However, talent is a mysterious thing, and I soon proved my talent.

Everyone said that grandpa’s grave location must be well chosen, out of a cai Yong not to say, and out of a cai Wenji.

When I was sure that I was a genius favored by God, my father’s worries became, what kind of man would I marry in the future?

As I grew up, my father’s official position was getting higher and higher. People came and went in the mansion. Some admired my father’s genuine talent and learning, and some clung to him for power and influence. Knowing that Cai Gong was the only daughter and rarely had a name, I was naturally praised as rare in the world and hard to find in heaven. Many people had the intention of marriage, although I was only nine years old at that time. It was

also at that time that Cao became a disciple of his father. At that time,

Cao was the son of a famous official family in the capital. In those years, in the treacherous and dangerous atmosphere of the capital, he was a rare touch of youthful spirit.

His father appreciated him very much and accepted him as a disciple.

The first time I met him was when I met him outside the Qin Pavilion.

He leaned down and patted me on the head, as if to tease a neighbor’s child. “Is this the daughter of the Tsai family? Come on, call Elder Martial Brother.”

I still remember that day he was wearing a black robe, high-spirited, high-spirited, not the handsome appearance that people respected at that time, but his eyes were surprisingly bright, with endless light.

Later, in the troubled times, I was used to seeing the dazed eyes of people living in vain, and I realized why those eyes were so unforgettable.

I watched in a trance, and somehow I called out obediently, “Elder Martial Brother.”

At that time, the country was already in decline, and the people of the world were roughly divided into the type of having nothing to do with themselves, the type of being worried, the type of being drunk and singing, the type of drifting with the tide, the type of being willing to fall, and the type of running away with resentment. Elder Martial Brother belonged to the last type.

In that time when most people were on the run and in a constant state of anxiety, whenever I saw him, he always looked like he was holding out his chest and raising his head with the wind in his clothes.

He said to me, “I heard Tsai Gong say that Zhaoji wants to be a great Confucian scholar when she grows up. I have read your articles. They are young and heroic. They are well written and ambitious. They are not inferior to men.”

It can be said that I have never met such a talkative person in my nine years of life, and every word speaks to my heart.

I laughed like a flower and said, “I’m flattered, Elder Martial Brother!”

I was prepared to praise him, but I didn’t know much about him, so I asked him first, “What is your ambition, Elder Martial Brother?” Without thinking,

he said, “I wanted to render meritorious service to my country, and I wanted to make a Marquis the general of the Western Expedition. Then I inscribed the tomb with the words, ‘The tomb of Cao Hou, the general of the Western Expedition in the Han Dynasty.'” My father’s voice came before

I had a good word to kiss back.

Good! He’s my big fellow’s good son!

Then, Cao was dragged to drink by my father.

Amazingly, Shige and I, who had never had any friends, actually got along very well.

Because he didn’t treat me as a “talented woman of the Tsai Yong family,” nor did he laugh at me for wanting to be a great Confucian scholar. When I said I wanted to go to class with him, he not only didn’t feel humiliated, but also generously asked me questions.

Dad said that once people have power and status, it is difficult to face up to their weaknesses and mistakes, Cao is different, he has the courage to be an enemy of the world, but also the tolerance to be an enemy of himself.

However, in my opinion, the advantage of Shige is much simpler-he respects me, even if I am a child or a girl. By the time

I was fifteen, marriage was imminent.

Naturally, I can’t get married alone. I have to find a man to be with me.

In this matter, the whole Cai family is very sad.

This is about my father’s awkward position in the court at that time. It was Dong Zhuo who recruited him into the court, and it was also Dong Zhuo who promoted him. Who was Dong Zhuo? To put it simply, the “thief” who “wanted to make contributions to the country” as the elder martial brother said. In private, many people would curse

Dong Zhuo as a “thief,” for he deposed the emperor, treated etiquette and law as nothing, and brought disaster to the Han Dynasty.

Such a person, to some extent, is my father’s “benefactor,” which is very embarrassing.

Although everyone knows that my father was forced to do so, it seems inappropriate for me to marry any force.

If you want to protect me, you have to get away, so you can only look for it in an aristocratic family far away from the capital.

Finally, I was engaged to Wei Ning, the second son of the Wei family in Hedong.

Wei Ning’s ancestors are Changping Hou Weiqing, the Wei family is a century-old family, and it is said that Wei Ning this person is very talented, love to dance, play the piano, gold and stone, beautiful if a good woman, marry me is a low marriage. When the

marriage was settled, I should be relieved to embroider the dowry, but I was not in the mood. I told Shige that I didn’t want to marry Wei Ning. I didn’t dare to say

this to my father, nor did I dare to let the wet nurse and the maid know-they knew when they knew my father. After thinking about it, I could only tell my elder martial brother.

“Wei Ning has little talent and fame, his looks are outstanding, and his family background is even more unspeakable. Why is Zhao Ji unwilling?”

If others heard this, they would scold me as crazy, and only the elder martial brother would ask me why. I

don’t know, I just don’t think so. My father taught me from an early age to plan and then move, but when it comes to my marriage, how can we talk about “planning”? What’s the difference between giving a man who doesn’t understand anything about life and death, honor and disgrace, and gambling?

Elder Martial Brother suddenly smiled. “Is Zhaoji worried that Wei Ning is not good to you?”? Don’t worry, there’s no place in the world to find a girl who’s smarter than you. Even if you’re smart, you’re not as good-looking as you are. Wei Ning is not a fool. He’ll cherish you.

He patted me on the head. I’ve grown up, but he still treats me like a child. “What’s more, in today’s situation, Tsai Gong wants you to leave the capital as soon as possible.”

I thought to myself that they were going to attack Dong Zhuo.

“There are many ways to leave the capital. I can go back to Chen Liu’s old house.”

“It’s not safe for you to be a woman in the old house.”

“At the end of the day, I have to get married.”

“Don’t be afraid.”

Not afraid, how can not be afraid?

Days of suffocation and worry can no longer be suppressed, I only feel that the eyes are very sour, with the veil to press the tears in the corner of the eye, the veil is Rouge and eyebrows, black and red is very wonderful, I think the face has been like a cat.

“I hate that I’m not a man, so I can protect myself instead of waiting to be married off.”

Elder Martial Brother handed me his handkerchief. “Use mine.”

I felt that I had lost my grace, and I turned to hide, but Shige said, “Stand a little longer, and when my eyes are not red after crying, I will go.”

He wiped the tears from my face with his handkerchief and gently wiped away the Rouge. “Well, now it’s the beautiful Tsai Chao-chi again.”

“Will I not look good if I cry?”

“You..”

At that time, seeing my uneasiness and pain, the wet nurses and maids took turns to accompany me, and there was always a lot of noise around me, but I was in a mess, and my wedding clothes were torn and mended, and I was about to get married.

Finally, it was too late to find the embroidery lady outside to make a wedding dress. The wet nurse held the wedding dress for me to try. I put it on and looked at myself in the mirror. I wanted to smile, but I couldn’t.

“Miss is so beautiful!”

The maid came up and tried to trim my skirt, but I tore off my wedding dress. “No need to try, it fits.”

“Miss..” The maid looked helplessly at the wet nurse, who came to persuade her, “If the lady could see the young lady get married, how happy she would be!”! Don’t grimace, young lady.

The wet nurse seldom mentioned my mother, because she died of a woman’s disease, which was taboo at that time, and it was considered unclean and harmful to my father’s reputation, so they tried not to mention it, as if my mother had never existed.

Although I do not understand, what is the taboo of getting sick and dying, who will not get sick? Who won’t die? Just because it’s a woman’s disease, will she be looked down upon even if she dies?

I didn’t say anything. Let them all go down. I want to be alone.

When everyone left, I sat in the dark bedroom for a long time, looking out of the window at the cold moonlight, and gradually felt powerless. Women in the

world want to marry, in the eyes of outsiders, I do not have to be used as a tool for marriage, or purely as a gift to dignitaries, do not have to marry a mediocre person, is already an enviable good thing.

But if I don’t like it, what’s the point of being envied by others?

The moonlight shone through the window on my embroidery thread, and I drew “Cai Yan” and “Wei Ning” on it with my fingers. I only felt that the picture was ironic. Two people who did not know each other were nailed together like this embroidery thread.

I take not Gandhi to write, over and over again, thoughts drift farther and farther, wait for me to react to come over, under the description, is already another name:

cai Wenji, Cao Cao…

Elder Martial Brother is much older than me. He has a wife.

I have never met Shige’s wife, Mrs. Ding, but I remember that people in the capital praised her for managing the family business and raising children for her husband. She was a dignified and steady woman.

I once asked Dad curiously, is Mrs. Ding beautiful?

My father said, “It is important for a woman to take on the responsibilities of a daughter-in-law, a wife, and a mother, and to maintain the turnover of the family, just as it is important for a real man to serve in the government. If she can do these things well, she will be a good wife. It doesn’t matter whether she is beautiful or not.”

“So Mrs. Ting doesn’t look good, does she?”

My father was not satisfied with my lack of restraint, but he was not willing to criticize me. After all, he just patted me on the shoulder and said, “None of the women whose beauty has been handed down from generation to generation has come to a good end.”

“Then Dad should be glad that Zhaoji won’t be handed down with her beauty.” Just as

he was about to praise me for being self-deprecating, I knocked my head with my pen, “Because my talent will completely cover up my beauty, which is a pity.”

Dad was so angry that he patted the desk and shouted, “Cai Yan!”! Copy the book! Holding the book in my arms and carrying the bookcase,

I “giggled” and ran out, listening to the “Tsai Kung,” who had always been in Yuezhi, roaring in the library. I felt a kind of complacency that I could get away with it.

As a result. I happened to bump into the elder martial brother who came to return the book.

Thinking that she was wearing pigtails and a bookboy’s backrest, and that she was running like a thief with a pile of letters in her arms, she lost all the airs of the “talented woman of the Tsai family” that she had been carrying before, and she was inexplicably ashamed.

“Hello, Elder Martial Brother..”

“Zhaoji, what are you running for?” My

brain warmed, and I thought I’d run into her anyway, and it would be better to ask the person in question than to ask someone else, so I dared to say, “Elder Martial Brother, when I hear people in the capital praise my sister-in-law, they always say how noble her character is, and I wonder what kind of woman she is.” A trace of tenderness flashed across

Elder Martial Brother’s face. “Sister is fine. If she comes to Beijing, I’ll take you to see her.”

In fact, the elder martial brother has been in the capital for many years and seldom goes back to his hometown. He seldom sees Mrs. Ding several times a year. Mrs.

Ding herself had no children and raised the eldest son born to him and his concubine, and everyone was satisfied with her understanding.

In fact, what I really want to ask Shige is, does he like Mrs. Ding?

I also want to ask Mrs. Ding, if she can choose, would she still want to marry Cao Cao? Before

getting married, there was a snow in the capital. The wet nurse, who

had always been strict, also let the maids play in the snow. They had snowball fights outside the window and made snowmen to lead me to see.

From daybreak to the dead of night, the snowman became more and more swollen and chubby as the snow grew heavier and heavier, and because he wore a “wooden crown” made of board chopsticks, he looked very much like his father when he went to court. I couldn’t help laughing.

They were relieved to see that I finally smiled. My

wet nurse smeared the baked juice on my fingertips. “Miss doesn’t play the piano very much this winter. Instead, she has frostbite. The doctor said that you should apply the medicine carefully before going to bed every day, otherwise I’m afraid you won’t recover on the day of marriage.”

Hearing what she said, I suddenly moved my mind to go to the Qin Pavilion.

My father made the Jiao Wei Qin with his own hands, and he never had a chance to play it after he got married.

I simply washed up, put on my cloak, carried the lamp, and walked alone to the Qin Pavilion. The

snow fell heavily, and drifted to the veranda. The clogs were very slippery on the bluestone floor. I simply stepped on the snow through the courtyard with one foot deep and one foot shallow.

Before I got to the Qin Pavilion, I heard someone upstairs calling me, “Zhaoji, why are you walking alone in the snow without an umbrella?” The heavy snow in the

courtyard reflected the bright light. I raised the lamp in my hand and looked up to see a familiar black figure.

“Elder Martial Brother, the veranda is too slippery. I forgot to bring my umbrella again.”

“Go back first and I’ll pick you up.”

The weather was too cold, and when I spoke, there would be white steam, which was fleeting. I chased my brother’s words and forgot to go back to the veranda.

He quickly took the umbrella down the Qin Pavilion, ran to me a few steps, took the lamp from my hand, and then put up the umbrella.

“Why are you so stupid to get wet in the snow?”

He was wearing soft armor, with a knife on his waist, and there was a cold smell on his body.

Seeing me staring at him blankly, he smiled. “I got into trouble during the day, and I was hurt when I ran away. Don’t be afraid. Someone will come to pick me up soon.”

He seemed reluctant to talk about what had happened and pretended to smile and talk to me, but if he was seriously injured and wanted to hide in my house, it should not be a trivial matter.

I analyzed the meaning of his words and asked him, “Are you leaving? Where are you going?”

“Leave the capital.” I didn’t

even say where I was going. I looked down at the snow and said, “I’m getting married. Will you come and see me off?”

He paused. “Maybe..”

I don’t want to hear it anymore. “I’ll play you a tune,” he interrupted.

So we went into the Qin Pavilion, took out the Jiao Wei Qin, opened the window, and burned the incense by the bright moonlight. I took off the maid’s fingers wrapped in a silk scarf, moved them, and stroked the strings.

I have a lot of words to say to him, there are many questions do not understand, but in such a night, our identity, it seems that nothing can be said. I can’t

say it. I can only tell him with the sound of the piano. Every time the frostbite on

my fingertips is sore and painful, it reminds me how to trace our names with shadows in the moonlight over and over again.

Cai Wenji, Cao Cao..

I also have to admit that I am not sad to marry, but sad not to marry him. Before the end of the

song, there were several extremely mournful cries of the owl outside the house. The elder martial brother moved his hand with a knife at his waist and looked out warily.

I stopped moving my fingertips. “Are you leaving?”

“Don’t worry, go on.”

“That won’t be necessary.”

“Zhaoji, you are still young, you don’t understand..”

Elder Martial Brother, I understand. I still remember you said your ambition is to do the general of the west, for the country for the thief, good ambition, I admire, cai Wenji waiting for you to do the general of the west that day, for you to play this song.

He walked over to me and looked down at me sitting on my knees. His eyes were as fierce as I had ever seen them. “If Wei Ning is not good to you, tell me, and I’ll get you back.” Without thinking about it,

I said, “Yes.” At last

he tried to pat me on the head, as he had done before, but in the middle of his hand he held my face and looked at me deeply, as if to remember me in his heart.

Then he turned away and disappeared into the heavy snow, leaving footprints that were soon drowned by the snow, as if the man had never appeared.

Three days later, I put on my wedding clothes and left the capital. On the wedding

day, Wei Ning’s delicate white hand moved away from my hand, but the fan came into my eyes with a picturesque face.

Wei Ning’s eyebrows are like feathers and jade, his eyes are free and unrestrained, his nose is thin and straight, his lips are very thin, but when he smiles, he will have round lip beads, which is a kind of ignorant and arrogant beauty.

He ignored Xi-niang’s presence, and when he saw me, he said, “Wei Ning, whose courtesy name is Zhongdao, what about you?” It is not polite for the newlyweds to speak before they

drink the wine.

Xi Niang looked at me in embarrassment, Wei Ning also looked at me, one anxious, one calm. The uneasiness in

my heart seemed to be scattered by Wei Ning’s smile. “Cai Yan, the word Zhaoji.” Unable to wait

, Xi-niang forced herself to smile and bring the wine. “The newlyweds and brides are invited to drink the wine together!”.

Wei Ning took the wine vessel, handed me one, and crossed my arms. The golden embroidery patterns on our red sleeves were layered and intertwined, with a beautiful and tender meaning.

Just like Wei Ning, all the memories left to me are those close feelings and indescribable regrets.

Wei Ning is the second son of the Wei family. There is an elder brother in front of him. His elder brother married early and had children. Now he is seeking fame. His sister-in-law is a woman who manages a family at home. The following younger brothers are all concubines, and they are young. Wei Ning, the second son, is relaxed and unrestrained. He does whatever he wants to do.

On the second day of the wedding, I was supposed to offer tea to my parents-in-law. My mother-in-law got up late. Wei Ning and I sat in front of the Ming Hall for a while. After blowing the cold wind, he started to burn when he came back. My mother-in-law came to our room and scolded me for not taking good care of him. He immediately choked back and said, “It’s obvious that I’ve been waiting for my mother to catch a cold. No matter how capable Zhaoji is, can she still control the cold wind in the hall?” I

was so angry that my mother-in-law burst into tears. He didn’t care at all. The fever subsided. On the third day, he said he would take me out to attend the Hedong Poetry Festival.

I have been in the Wei family for a short time, but it is not difficult to see from the father-in-law who is addicted to gold and stone, the haggard and emaciated sister-in-law and the imposing mother-in-law that the Wei family is not peaceful.

Speaking of it, there are many people and many things in the family. Naturally, it is impossible for my father to live a simple life with me as a girl.

Wei Ning was totally indifferent to his mother, but I didn’t dare to follow him, so I refused to go out with him.

He changed into a silver otter cloak, put on his hat, and wrapped himself up like a silkworm baby. He said to me with a half-smile, “Well, think about it. If you don’t go out with me, you have to stay at home. When I come back, you’re not allowed to make trouble with me.”

I saw two charming maids standing beside the carriage, and I could smell the smell of incense powder wafting over them from a long distance. I thought I didn’t know where this poetry festival was coming from, so I’d better not join in the fun, so I said to him, “I really don’t want to go. Come back early.” As soon as

Wei Ning left, her mother-in-law sent someone to invite her.

It’s like I’ve been waiting for it. When I

went to her courtyard, I saw my sister-in-law cooking tea on a stove under the porch of the courtyard. It was freezing outside. She was only wearing her regular clothes, and her hands were red with cold. From time to time, the laughter of the mother-in-law and the maids came from the room.

When sister-in-law saw me coming, she nodded to me.

I thought, is the wife of an aristocratic family still torturing her daughter-in-law?

The door curtain opened, and I stepped into the room with one foot. After thinking about it, I turned around and pulled up my sister-in-law, whose lips were purple with cold, and led her to the inner room.

“Mother in law, my daughter-in-law came late, and I happened to meet my sister-in-law outside. I don’t know which bold servant didn’t tell her and left her waiting in the outer room, so I dragged her in with me.”

I appeared with my sister-in-law and said something like this, and all the voices in the room disappeared in an instant. Everyone looked

as if they had seen a ghost, especially my mother-in-law, who gnashed her teeth and looked at me.

“What’s the matter, mother-in-law?”

“You..” The withered fingers trembled at me, as if to kill me in the air. “How dare you!”! Get out, get out on your knees!

I was just about to speak when my sister-in-law grabbed my hand and shook her head at me, then deftly knelt down to her mother-in-law. “My younger brother and sister are too young to understand. My mother-in-law spared her this time. After all, she’s a bride. If she punishes me like this, my second brother will have no face.”

Zhongdao’s face is none of your business! Go outside and kneel down, too. What did I do in my previous life? I met two disobedient and unfilial daughters-in-law!

I looked at sister-in-law’s frightened face, afraid of making a big deal, and stopped arguing with her mother-in-law, so I took sister-in-law out of the house.

Younger brother and sister, I’ve got you into trouble. You’d better go. Younger brother and sister?

Before sister-in-law had finished speaking, I told the servants I had brought with me, “Go and get some cushions, a stove, a cloak, and a canopy, and spread them in the courtyard. I and sister-in-law will kneel down as punishment.”

“Younger brother and sister, you are..”

I smiled and said, “Kneel as a punishment.”

So the maids swept the snow, laid water-proof mats, brown mats and brocade cushions layer by layer, propped up the canopy, surrounded it with screens, and lit several big stoves.

I took my sister-in-law kneeling in the garden, watching the heavy snow in the courtyard, very comfortable, and even had the idea of writing a poem.

“Younger brother and sister, why do you oppose your mother-in-law in this way?”

“My mother-in-law only told us to kneel, but she didn’t say how to kneel. I’m not disobedient.”

The people were frightened by my posture, and no one dared to go to the house to report, for fear of starting a war and burning themselves.

In the evening, Wei Ning came back from the poetry festival and heard that I had not returned to the house to pick me up. He saw that my sister-in-law and I had baked rice cakes on the stove in the middle of the yard. He immediately ran to the house to make a scene with his mother. When he came out again, there was already a slap mark on his face. As

he approached us, he smelled of alcohol, his face was flushed, and his eyes were blurred. I saw him walking unsteadily, and I tried to help him, but he went straight to my left, to my sister-in-law, and held out his hand to her. “Chueh Yin, let’s go.”

The sister-in-law called out from the depths of her throat in a very low and shrill voice, “Wei Zhongdao, you’re crazy!”

The sound brought his reason back, and then he saw me kneeling next to my sister-in-law, holding the baked rice cake, not knowing for a moment whether to continue eating.

“Zhaoji..” Wei Ning’s hand also extended to sister-in-law, as if he did not know which one to pull up first.

I stood up with the cushion in my hand, brushed the snow on my body carelessly, threw the rice cake in my hand at him, and then turned away. As I

walked up the veranda, I saw my mother-in-law staring at me from the window and sneering at me.

What a family of inconsiderate lunatics! After

that, Wei Ning and I didn’t speak for a long time. To be exact, I didn’t even want to see him. I was so

angry that I wanted to pack up my things and go back to the capital, but thinking of my father’s instructions before I got married, he asked me to stay away from the center of the whirlpool and protect myself. Every word was sincere, almost a plea. I really couldn’t go back like this and waste his pains.

After all, no matter how smart he was, he couldn’t guess that there was such a thing in the Wei family.

My mother-in-law called me several times, but I refused to say that I was ill, thinking that I would be divorced at the worst.

Until half a month later, my sister-in-law knocked on my door in person.

My sister-in-law looked very haggard. She was over twenty-five years old, and even had white hair on her head. Her facial features could only be said to be comely. She looked at me so sadly that people could not refuse her anyway.

I made her a cup of tea, and she took a sip. “Zhaoji is a master of the art of tea. She is indeed the daughter of Tsai Kung.”

Seeing that I did not speak, she lowered her head and held the teacup tightly and loosely. The two of us sat opposite each other in silence for a while before she went on to say, “Wei Ning and I met when we were young, and later we were at the age of marriage. The two families intend to get married. I actually..” I asked Wei Ning privately, but he refused. If you are heartless, I’ll give up. If he doesn’t want to, I’ll marry his eldest brother. But on the day of the wedding, he was drunk and said he regretted it.

Sister-in-law looked at me, and her eyes were full of honesty. “I, Ling Que Yin, swear that I have absolutely nothing to do with Wei Ning!”! I don’t have any feelings for him either!

“But he doesn’t think so, does he?”

I can speak to him myself! Zhaoji, I don’t want you with him because..

“What do you want from me and Zhaoji, sister-in-law?”

Wei Ning suddenly walked in from outside the door, thin lips pursed, the face of the romantic and wanton smile, at the moment as cold as the cold mountain outside the window.

He walked over to me, put his hand on my shoulder, and looked at my sister-in-law. “I think you misunderstood. Zhaoji and I are very good. We don’t have any bad blood.”

I tried to speak, but his hand on my shoulder pinched me like an iron clamp and wouldn’t let me speak.

“I naturally hope that you will be together for a hundred years.”

We would have been together for a hundred years, so I don’t need to bother my sister-in-law. I haven’t spoken to Zhaoji for a long time, so I won’t see her off.

Wei Ning gave the order to leave, sister-in-law naturally can not stay, smiled at me and left. When

my sister-in-law left, I let go of my hand on my shoulder. Wei Ning lay down on a soft couch as if he had lost his strength and asked me softly, “Zhaoji, are you angry?”

“Angry.”

“I will change later.”

If you change yours, I will be angry with you. No one stipulates that if you change yours, I will forgive you. Just like sister-in-law, if you don’t go back on your word, she will wait to marry you. You are too childish.

“What a temper, you talented girl.” I

didn’t want to talk to him any more, so I decided to go to the study and write a safe letter to Dad. I didn’t say anything about the

Wei family. I just said that everything was fine. As I

wrote, I wondered if my sister-in-law would write a letter home saying that she was all right-it was ironic.

The letter was not sent in the end. Dad could see from my handwriting whether I was in a good mood or not. My heart was so confused that the words I wrote were exposed. Finally, I could only throw them into the stove and burn them.

If I had known it would be my last chance to write to my dad, I would have sent that letter.

Soon, the vassal crusade against Dong Zhuo began, and the capital was cut off from Hedong.

That period of time was very chaotic, and the center of the chaos was in the capital, in Dong Zhuo, in the princes, not in Hedong.

I’m just the daughter-in-law of the Wei family in Hedong, and my husband is just the son of an aristocratic family without fame. The two of us are far away from the whirlpool, so far that even if my father is in the capital, even if my elder martial brother is in the army of the crusade, I can’t help at all. All

I can do is wait. When

the situation changed, Wei Ning no longer lingered in all kinds of poetry and literature meetings, and felt at ease to read and write at home.

Since the last time my sister-in-law came to me, he moved back to the bedroom with a face, and we slept in the same bed again. Worried about her son,

the mother-in-law sent more than a dozen letters home to summon her eldest son to return home, fearing that his eldest son would die in the chaos of the army. For this reason, she closed the door day and night to pray, and the sister-in-law’s life was much easier.

However, this is only a superficial calm, because the eldest brother has refused to come back.

The eldest brother did not take refuge in any forces, there are no people, in this situation, still outside refused to return home, in addition to want to benefit the fisherman, is not not want to hide from sister-in-law.

It is said that he has several favorite concubines and has given birth to three children. In fact, like my eldest brother,

I don’t like to have more contact with my sister-in-law, not only because of Wei Ning’s dirty mind, but also because my sister-in-law is so desperate that she can’t see anything positive and upward in her body. She is like a piece of wood cut down, moldy and rotten in the dark corner day by day. I

happened to see her outside my mother-in-law’s yard. She forced a smile at me, and the fine lines around her eyes spread to the side of her face. She looked at me ingratiatingly, as if she had done something wrong.

I clenched my fists, but finally I couldn’t hold back. I said to her, “You’re right. You don’t have to do this.”

If I were you, I would take my child to the carriage to find my husband, and I would dissect my heart with him. If I could live, I would continue to live. If I couldn’t live, I would separate. One side and the other side would be happy. Why should I drag myself to death and torture myself!

But she just looked at me with grateful eyes, “Zhaoji, thank you.”

I took a deep breath to soften my tone of voice, and went up to take her cold hand. “Sister, you should have a good talk with Big Brother.” Without thinking about it, she

shook her head and said with a wry smile, “He doesn’t want to hear it.” If

you don’t tell him, how do you know he doesn’t want to hear it? Perhaps he didn’t dare to come back because he couldn’t hear you?

“You don’t understand, Zhaoji. He hates me.” Why did he marry you when he

hated you? Just to make yourself feel bad? He knows that you once had a heart, knows that mother-in-law does not like, but still want to marry you, but you even go to him to ask a clear. If I were him, I would think that you don’t even ask because you don’t care. I held my sister-in-law’s hand and stared into her eyes. “Do you care about Big Brother?”

“I..”

“Sister-in-law, that’s all Tsai Wen-chi has said. Please don’t feel sorry for me in the future. At least between you and me, I will do my best.”

I went back to my bedroom. Wei Ning was burning incense.

He was wearing a thin brocade fur coat, and his cheeks were flushed by the charcoal fire in the burning room. He looked very beautiful, but what I thought to myself was that he was not very different from his sister-in-law in age, but now he looked like two generations.

Wei Ning, at a time when everyone in the house was worried about his eldest son, was heartlessly taking care of himself and having fun. It was time to burn incense and make clothes. Today, he had to play the lute on a whim. It was so absurd and wanton. No wonder he always looked like a teenager.

“Zhaoji, come and see if my tune is right.”

“I’m tired. Maybe some other time.”

“What’s the matter, mother?”

“No.”

Wei Ning frowned slightly and asked me cautiously, “That’s..” Have you met your sister-in-law?

I asked my maid to take off my cloak and shake off the snow from my hair. She looked at him helplessly. “My sister-in-law and I are sisters-in-law. We live under the same roof. It’s perfectly normal to meet. But no matter what happens to us, it’s none of your business.”

Wei Ning came over and wanted to hug me, but I avoided him. The maids saw that our atmosphere was not right and stepped down one after another. He stopped my waist and pulled me into his arms and looked at me.

“Cai Yan..” As soon as the words came out of his mouth, he seemed to feel that his tone was not good. Wei Ning was silent for a moment and then said in a low voice, “Smile at me. You look good when you smile.”

Suddenly I was hugged into such a warm embrace, and the cold in my heart seemed to melt a little. I couldn’t continue my stubbornness and look at him. “I can’t laugh, not because of you.”. I’m worried about Dad.

“When the situation is better, I’ll take you back to the capital to see your father-in-law.”

“Really?”

Wei Ning lowered his head and kissed me on the tip of my nose, breathing like a lover. “Really, no one can stop me.”

He carried me to bed, clasped his fingers and made love to me, smelling the incense on his sleeve. I couldn’t tell what was wrong, but I always felt that something was wrong. Wei Ning and

I are always missing something. As

winter turned to spring, my eldest brother came back when I changed into a new kind of scarlet dress from the dyeing workshop.

Wei Ji and Wei Ning are two different people carved out of the same mold. How reckless Wei Ning is, how mature and prudent Wei Ji is. He acts and speaks in a methodical way, and can’t accept any irregularities.

Obviously, the two of them are only more than one year apart, but they are like two generations. After

careful study, Wei Ji is also good-looking, but the first time you see him, you will not think about whether he is good-looking or not. You will only feel that he is the eldest son of the Wei family. At the

family banquet, the mother-in-law wept with joy, holding Wei Ji in her arms and calling him “my heart and flesh.” Neither the sister-in-law nor the nephew could find a chance to meet him. After

crying for a while, the mother-in-law began to ask about the concubines. Wei Ji only said, “The concubines are not enough. Let’s have a feast.”

The mother-in-law blushed and was reluctant to refute her eldest son, so she had to give her sister-in-law a hard look.

I thought to myself that there was something wrong with my mother-in-law’s brain.

Eat without words, except for a few crisp sounds when cups and saucers collide, a meal is quiet and silent, Wei Ning seems to be absent-minded, stuffy head drank a few mouthfuls of wine, eyes rising fog.

He held my hand a few times, and his palm was hot and trembling slightly.

I held back my hand and soothed him.

Wei Ji looked down at our hands and smiled at me. After

returning to the house after dinner, I dressed Wei Ning and said, “Big brother must like his sister-in-law very much.”

Wei Ning’s body paused. “Why did you say that all of a sudden?”

“Just for you.”

Wei Ning quickly said, “Zhaoji, you still don’t believe me.”

“Listen to me first.” I handed his robe to the maid and motioned for him to bow his head and take his crown for him. “Big Brother is dignified. If he didn’t really like it, he wouldn’t have married his sister-in-law. To put it bluntly, in the past, sister-in-law was not polite. It’s not entirely unreasonable that mother-in-law despised her very much. Big Brother was willing to go over the top for his sister-in-law, which explains the problem.” I

took off Wei Ning’s hair crown and put it on the dressing table. I piled it up with my jewelry. Wei Ning reached out and pulled my ear. “Cai Yan, you are becoming more and more unruly.”

I looked askance at him. “My son Wei took the lead in breaking the rules. How can you blame me?”

“This is the only thing I can do, and I’m afraid you’ll talk me to death.”

“Don’t die or live. It’s bad luck.”

“Talented women all blame themselves for the confusion of power and spirit. Is this confusion caused by concern?”.

I stretched out my hand to cover his mouth, but he grabbed my hand. “Zhaoji, don’t worry about your eldest brother and sister-in-law. Let’s have a baby who looks like you and is smart like you.”

“They all look like me, but what do they look like you?”

Wei Ning gently touched my hand with his lips, with a sly look in his eyes.

That’s a good calculation.

Just when Wei Ning and I felt that everything was developing in a good direction, the reality gave us a blow-just three days at home, Wei Ji proposed to leave. When I

went to my sister-in-law’s yard, I didn’t see her, but I saw Wei Ji.

Wei Ji wears a crow blue cloak, and the whole person stands upright like a pine, with a tough and upright bearing. When he

saw me, he smiled faintly and said, “My younger brother and sister are here.”

“Big Brother.” I bowed and said, “I heard that my eldest brother is leaving again. I came to talk to my sister-in-law.”

“She’s in the front yard doing some housework, and she’ll be back in about half an hour.”

“It doesn’t matter. Actually, I came here to ask my sister-in-law why my eldest brother is leaving so soon. Since my eldest brother is here, I’m not polite enough to ask directly.”

Wei Ji raised his eyebrows slightly, as if somewhat discontented. “These are the words that Zhong Dao can ask himself.”

It seems that he misunderstood that Wei Ning was too embarrassed to find him. “It was Zhao Ji herself who wanted to know.”

“Younger brother and sister, you are the daughter of a great Confucian scholar. You should know how to be polite. You shouldn’t ask me this.”

“Elder brother, since Zhaoji married into the Wei family, he has met with a lot of impoliteness.”

“Unbridled..”

Brother, please hear me out. Sister-in-law is what kind of person, these days I also understand 89 points, her heart is thinking of eldest brother, just worried that eldest brother disliked her, so dare not say, also dare not ask, so has been enduring, waiting, eldest brother and sister-in-law are known since childhood, naturally know what sister-in-law was like when she was young, what is like now, eldest brother really have the heart of sister-in-law to live like this? Some things are just a change of heart. Now that Big Brother has married her, he should take good care of her. A few feet away from me,

Wei Ji came down from the eaves of the porch and handed me a letter from his sleeve. “How do you know that I don’t want to cherish her?”

I took the letter and looked at it, and my heart jumped-and left the book.

“How could..”

Wei Chi laughed at himself and said, “Why not? It’s just a matter of being reluctant. If you can’t force it to go on, it’s okay to stop here.”

You should have talked to her.. It’s time to..

I was in a bit of a panic, and I always felt bad. I was ready to go to see my sister-in-law, but Wei Ji stopped me. “There’s no need to go. Que Yin has made up her mind, and no one can persuade her. Wei Ning cried bitterly and begged her to change her mind, but it was just as useless.”

I stared at Wei Ji. “If you know what kind of person she is, why do you treat her like this?”

Wei Ji lowered her eyes and her eyelashes twitched slightly. Inside was a strong emotion that could not be suppressed, but what she said was still light. “It was because she had treated Wei Ning like that, so she always wanted to try whether I was different. As a result..” It’s all the same.

“What an asshole!”

I threw the book on the ground and turned away.

But we were all too late, and by the time we found sister-in-law, her green dress had been dyed bright red by blood.

Wei Ji’s cry is like a wolf stabbed in the heart in the field.

After he signed the letter without hesitation, sister-in-law went out of the yard as usual, went to the study to deliver snacks to her son, went to the kitchen to see the food, and even distributed the carbon for this month. Then, she went to the empty garden and stabbed her hairpin into her heart.

From the beginning to the end, it was full of smiles, as if to make up for all the smiles lost over the years.

The most ridiculous thing is that Ling Que Yin did not know whether Wei Ji really loved him until she died, but she used her own death to let Wei Ji know that she loved Wei Ji.

Wei Ning’s eyes were red, and tears fell involuntarily. “It’s all my fault, it’s all my fault.”

I just felt that the scene in front of me was ironic and disgusting, and I couldn’t help covering my chest and retching.

On the day my sister-in-law died, the doctor said that I was pregnant with Wei Ning’s child.

Sister-in-law’s funeral was very simple, because it was a suicide, and it would be a bad reputation to say it out. The mother-in-law was disgusted and asked the steward to finish the work in a hurry. What

she loved most in her life was her two sons, so she hated the sister-in-law who gave birth to a rift between her two sons.

But she never thought about who had done wrong in this matter.

Had it not been for Wei Ji’s disregard of sister-in-law, Wei Ning’s refusal and his involvement, sister-in-law should have lived well, mother-in-law herself did not teach her son well, but blamed other people’s daughters.

In front of my sister-in-law’s mourning hall, I feel sick whenever I think of it.

Sister-in-law’s only child knelt in front of his mother’s spirit tablet with a dull expression. He seldom saw his father, and the old lady in the family hated their mother and son. Now that his mother had gone, he had almost nothing.

I asked him to eat something, but he couldn’t eat. I asked him to rest for a while, but he didn’t leave.

“Cheer up! Your mother-in-law will soon give your father another string. Until you can travel, your fate rests with your grandmother and your stepmother. Now, when your father is sad enough, go and tell him how much you need his help.”

Wei Xu lowered his head and said in a muffled voice, “He doesn’t want us anymore.”

“But you need him. Be obedient. Go to him and let him remember you as a son.”

“Auntie, I’m very tired.”

“Everyone is tired, but we still have to live.” The death of

his sister-in-law had the greatest impact on him. If a mother could leave her young child to die, the child who was left behind would have to endure much more pain than his mother.

Wei Ning walked into the mourning hall at this time, holding a cloak in his hand.

He came over and put his cloak on me. “Zhaoji, it’s too cold here. Put it on and don’t catch cold.” Then he took off

his cloak and gave it to his nephew. “You put it on, too.”

I smelled sandalwood on his body and asked him, “Did you go to your mother-in-law?”

He nodded and his face darkened.

“She won’t let you take me back to the capital?”

Wei Ning looked at me in embarrassment. Not long ago, he vowed that he would take me back to see my father. “No one can stop me,” he said.

“Now that you’re pregnant and the capital is in chaos, it’s not appropriate for you to travel, so you’d better wait..”

“Wei Ning, you talk like a fart.”

I sneered at the impertinence that I had never been able to utter before.

You told me that you forgot your past feelings, that you would take me home, that you would treat me well. Which one is true? Which one did it?

Wei Ning was speechless by my questioning and was stunned in place.

I tore off his cloak and threw it back to him. “You never know what you want.”

I almost ran away from the mourning hall of my sister-in-law, where the cold body of my sister-in-law was placed and his lonely and helpless child was kneeling. It was like a curse. From there, I seemed to see my future. One day in the future, I would be disheartened because of Wei Ning’s incompetence, and the child in my belly would go from fear and anxiety to no love.. The first flower of spring had already bloomed in the

yard, but as soon as I saw the yard, I remembered that day when Wei Ning came to us, he held out his hand to his sister-in-law. When

he removed the fan from my hand, he held out his hand to me like that. Every promise

he made was so solemn, and every regret was so natural, just like a child who had never grown up, even the death of his sister-in-law could not make him grow up at all.

In the winter before I got married, under the broken lamp, a man once said to me,

“If Wei Ning is not good to you, tell me, and I will take you back.” I

wiped the tears from my eyes and regretted that I couldn’t finish the song that day.

“Will you take me back..”

If marrying Wei Ning is a gamble that Dad has no choice but to make, then both the banker and the gambler have lost miserably in this gambling game. After her sister-in-law died,

Wei Ning caught a cold and fell ill in bed. My mother-in-law asked me to live in separate rooms with Wei Ning on the grounds that I was pregnant and afraid of being ill.

Wei Ji objected a few words, but her mother-in-law said, “You don’t have to worry about the backyard.” So I moved to the west courtyard, which was the old house before the Wei family expanded.

My maids moved the books, piano, pen and ink from home. As soon as the gate of Xiyuan was locked, I felt as if I had returned to the old house where I lived in my childhood. The days were simple and pleasant. The child in the

belly grew up gradually, Xiyuan in addition to the servant who delivered the meal and the correspondence in the capital, no one else patronized, Wei Ning did not come to see me.

I thought he didn’t want to come, but I didn’t expect that he had been ill from early spring to late summer.

When he broke away from the servants and rushed to Xiyuan to say goodbye to me, the once handsome family was already thin to the skeleton.

He was hollow-cheeked and ashen, almost like a different man.

“Wei Ning, you..”

Wei Ning looked at me and tried to laugh, but couldn’t stop coughing. The maids tried to stop me. “I’m talking to my husband,” I snapped. “Why are you stopping me?”

Wei Ning covered his mouth with his sleeve and turned his head to the other side. I saw that there was a deep bone bulge in his back. He was so thin that every sound was trilling, as if he was going to cough his last breath.

Zhaoji.. Ahem. Akihime. You stand inside.. Don’t come out.. Cough..

I didn’t know he was so sick. I panicked for a moment and wanted to go out and take a closer look at him, but he took a few steps back and said, “Don’t come, don’t be too sick.” Give the child.. When

he finally recovered, he still covered his face with his sleeve, as if he were ashamed of his sick face, and spoke to me sideways, “Zhaoji, I can’t do it.”

“Don’t talk nonsense!”

“I’m sorry, I can’t do what I promised you..”

The heart seemed to be hit by a mallet, and it was stuffy and painful.

We looked at each other inside and outside the door, and I had a lot to say, but I found that there were not many good memories between us, and all we could say were unhappy words.

Wei Ning seemed to be crying, but there were no tears. He asked me cautiously, “Zhaoji, will you remember me?”

I nodded.

“That’s good, that’s good..” He breathed a sigh of relief for a long time, then broke down and said, “I want to change. I’m only in my twenties, but God won’t give me time.” I really want to change..

“I know.” When the

people ran after him, he shouted, “Go back.” His face turned black in an instant, and he coughed a few times.

He seemed to be waiting for me to say something, but I had nothing to say. Now, we both know that we will miss it after all.

Wei Ning did not meet me at the beginning of love, and I did not wait for the mature and sensible Wei Ning.

It’s time to grow old together, but if it’s wrong at the beginning, it’s wrong everywhere.

That.. I’m going back, and you should go to bed early.

“Well, take good care of yourself.”

Wei Ning waved to me, and the people who followed him rushed up and helped him back. I watched him leave in Xiyuan, thinking that this was the last time we saw each other.

Wei Ning, whose courtesy name was Zhongdao, died at the age of twenty-five.

When Wei Ning had just died, I managed his funeral. My mother-in-law called me a “funeral star” and forbade me to enter Wei Ning’s mourning hall. My father-in-law was still addicted to elixirs and did not even show up when his son died. Wei Xu followed his mother-in-law blankly, not knowing what to say or do. Wei Ji, the only one who could speak, was still on his way back. Standing

in the courtyard outside the mourning hall for two hours, listening to my mother-in-law crying and cursing inside, watching people pointing when they passed by me, my heart was strangely calm, because this scene was so absurd that people did not want to talk.

Then, I suddenly felt a kind of pain like blood, as if I had lost the most important thing.

It was a long time before I knew that on that day, my father was beheaded by Wang Yun. It was

also on that day that I fainted in front of Wei Ningling, and when I woke up again, the baby in my stomach was gone.

Ha. Wei Ning left me nothing after all. I can’t remember what happened in

those days. It was like a merry-go-round. My sister-in-law died, Wei Ning died, my child died, and then they told me that my father died too.

How ridiculous! It’s like I’m the only one left in the world for a moment. Before

my confinement was full, I asked the maids to pack up the history of the dowry and prepare to leave the Wei family. I don’t want to go to Hedong again in my life.

The mother-in-law said, “Dong Zhuo is dead, and Cai Yong has been beheaded. Do you think you are still the daughter of Tai Gong?”

I looked at the woman in front of me and said, “You are really pathetic. You live on others forever and feed on other people’s flesh and blood.”. Do you know that thousands of years later, when people mention my father, they will still say, “a famous official of the Han Dynasty, a great scholar who shocked the world.” This is not something that will change if he lives or dies.

“And you, no one will remember you, because you are just an ignorant, poor woman who thinks that by passing on your misfortune to other women, you can pay for what you have suffered.”

“You make me sick.”

“I left the Wei family, not to divorce. Listen carefully. I, Tsai Wen-chi, look down on your Wei family. I divorced your Wei family.”

At that time, I was still very young, immersed in the pain of losing my loved ones, did not know how to play it safe, and wasted my father’s painstaking efforts to marry me to Hedong. At that time,

I always thought that a hero would fall from the sky and take me away from the pain, fantasizing about living a plain and happy life again after taking good care of my body and heart.

I always think everything is too simple.

In other words, I thought Shige would come to me, and I thought he would remember me.

He did remember me and was looking for me, but I forgot that he was the Cao who wanted to get ahead of the thief.

The world is too big, I am too small, I am in his heart, only a very small part.

On my way home alone, I was captured by the Huns, which lasted for twelve years. If a

person has suffered great pain, it is either difficult to forget or deliberately forget, I seem to be wandering in these two States, sometimes indulging in sadness, sometimes looking into the distance in the frost-covered plain, not remembering how he came, not remembering who he is. I don’t think about where I’m going in the future.

The barbarians rebelled and plundered tens of thousands of people. Those of

us who were taken away were driven away like cattle and sheep at first, and the old, the weak and the disabled died on the road like cattle and sheep left behind, and no one cared. Men’s heads hung on

their horses, and fertile women were tied to their horses. The younger ones were 14 or 15 years old, and the older ones were about the age of my wet nurse. All the people

around me had disappeared. I didn’t know whether they were dead or scattered in the headless procession behind me. I was carried on horseback, bumping my internal organs as if they had been crushed. Because I had just miscarried, my lower body was bleeding, and my hands and feet were frozen unconscious. But the most painful thing for me was that they torched my books.

It’s the only thing that proves who I am after I lost my father, my husband and my children.

I probably wanted to die, but the barbarian soldier who guarded me was very close. He looked at my face thoughtfully and said that I looked good and could be exchanged for a cow and two sheep.

I said calmly, “I’ll change your mother.”

The whip hit me hard and landed on my right arm. The pain of the crack woke me up and made me determined that I would die. With the force of

his whip, I took the opportunity to turn over and break away from the horse’s back, and fell to the ground in a mess. The barbarian soldiers scolded something, but I didn’t hear it clearly. I grabbed the dagger on a barbarian boot behind me and stabbed it in the chest.

Just as the sharp blade of the dagger pierced the corset and was about to pierce the heart, there was a light “ding” sound. My hand holding the knife shook, and the dagger was bounced off by something flying.

Surrounded by soldiers have respectfully scattered, a man riding a pure black horse, he has a strong smell of pig iron and flesh and blood, in his saddle, left and right are tied to the heads of five men, some have been blackened, some are still dripping blood.

He looked down at me with his back to the light. I couldn’t see his face clearly, but I could feel his extreme pressure.

“Are you Cai Yan?”

I gasped with cold and pain. “I don’t know who you’re talking about.”

The man did not care what my answer was. He pointed his horsewhip at me and said, “One of you has burned her books. They are the treasures of the Han Dynasty. No amount of cattle, sheep, and women can be exchanged for them. Before dark, the person who has touched those books will die to apologize.” The

crowd paused for a moment, then answered with a low roar, “Yes!”

Then the man looked at me carefully on the ground.

I heard that in prison, Tsai Yong asked Wang Yun to tattoo his face and cut off his feet in order to save his life and let him finish the history of the Han Dynasty. But yun3 still cut off his head. Lao Tzu can’t survive, but his daughter has good hands and feet, but she wants to commit suicide–you really don’t deserve to be Cai Yong’s daughter.

“You shut up!”

The barbarians scold, “Be bold!”

I stood up trembling with my hands, looked up at the man on the horse, and then found that this man did not look like a barbarian with a high nose and deep eyes, but more like a Han Chinese.

“Not dead?” He asked me.

I sneered, “It’s none of your barbarian business whether I die or not.”

After many years, Liu Bao likes to say to me when the feeling is strong: “Cai Wenji, you are born to know how to poke my heart.”.

He hated it when people said he was a barbarian. The first time I saw him, I knew nothing about him, but I could stab him in the heart accurately.

When I said that, he resisted the urge to kill me and announced to the crowd,

“Send this woman to my tent. From this day on, she will be my slave.”

18

“With King Zuoxian, many women could not ask for it.”

“Beg to be a slave?”

It’s better to be a dog in a prosperous age than to be a disorderly person. That’s what you Han people say. It is better to be a slave to the King of the Huns than to be a slave girl to an ordinary barbarian. The woman

in front of him spoke fluent Mandarin and was not dressed like a general Xiongnu woman, but she was a head taller than me, and her snow-white complexion and handsome facial features showed that she was indeed a Hu woman.

“My name is Fu Yan. I was born of Xianbei and Jie.”

Fu Yan smiled at me, but I feel strange, the boundaries between the barbarians, Xianbei and the Capricorn clan gave birth to a woman how can be a slave of the Huns?

My name is Cai Yan. Have you ever read a book?

“I dare not say that I have read books in front of the talented women who are famous in the capital.”

Fu Yan took me to walk while nodding with the guards on patrol. It could be seen that although the barbarian soldiers were all ferocious and regarded human life as worthless, they respected the gorgeous and moving Fu Yan very much. I’ve

seen a lot of them cutting at the Han people, and I’ve always regarded them as barbarians, but I didn’t find out until now that they would smile kindly.

“Stay with me for the time being. There’s a thick fur coat here and you can put it on first. By the way, can you ride a horse?”

I shook my head.

“Learn while you’re on your way. I’ll take you first.”

Fu Yan did not know where to get a basin of hot water for me to scrub. When she saw the bloody skirt I had changed, she wrinkled her thick eyebrows. “Are you coming to the moon?”

“I just had a miscarriage, and I haven’t recovered.”

She said, “I’ll give you some medicine. You’d better get better soon, or the master will soon abandon you.”

Looking at me blankly, Fu Yan suddenly smiled, but no longer as kind as before, with a little dark red eyes staring at me and said: “Cai Yan, you don’t really think he is to punish you to let you with him, do you?”? Let me get this straight. He likes you Han Chinese girls, but if he can’t sleep all the time, he’ll soon lose interest.

She patted me on the shoulder, her hand resting on her neck, and the warning was obvious. The master has a lot of women, Hu women and Han women. If he doesn’t care about you, they will tear you apart. Of course, I was one of those women.

I suddenly realized why Fu Yan began to be so kind to me. It turned out that I was the type that Zuo Xianwang liked. He thought I would be favored, so he fawned on me in advance. When he knew that I had a woman’s illness, he immediately changed his face.

But also because of Fu Yan’s actions, I am more aware of my situation. I

would rather be a prosperous dog than a disorderly person. In fact, I am just a lost dog in troubled times. I shivered

in the warmth of the tent.

Fu Yan and my identity is said to be a slave, but will not often stay in the so-called master side, the Huns royal family does not have the habit of the Han nobles to order the servants when they travel, Liu Bao often a person and a horse to go, at night is also with the vassals after drinking before returning to the camp.

Sometimes Fu Yan would stay with him for the night, sometimes he would find a woman at random, and the camp was full of women’s murmurs and exclamations all night. When I

went to deliver breakfast, I bumped into him and Fu Yan. Fu Yan was as white as congealed fat. Her voice was so charming that she had a hook. She bit his hair and begged for mercy while hooking his waist with her legs. She was as lascivious and seductive as a dying snake. The sound of

me putting down my breakfast alarmed them, and Liu Bao looked at me meaningfully, as if he were looking at the prey in the snow, contemptuous and determined to win.

I fled in a panic, angry and frightened.

However, I also know that I have no other choice to return to the Central Plains alive. Two days

away from the account of the king of the Huns, the blood under my body finally no longer flow, Fu Yan see I did not change the deep clothes with blood, clearly looking at me, waiting for my decision.

“I want to ask you something.”

“You ask.”

“How did you get to him?”

“Gift.”

“Do you want to go back?”

Fu Yan was as happy as if she had heard something funny. “I’m a gift. It’s the same thing as salt, iron, cattle and sheep. I’m not qualified to think about it.”

“You’ve read books, you speak Mandarin, and you understand Han Chinese etiquette. Once you understand etiquette, you know honor and disgrace, and you know that you’re a person, not a gift. So it’s not that you’re not qualified to think about it, it’s that you don’t dare to think about it.”

Fu Yan’s fierce face had no expression. “What do you mean by that?”

“It’s nothing. I’m just telling you and myself that I’m going back to my hometown, even if I die.” Looking up, I smiled faintly at Fu Yan. “So I will find a way to keep myself alive.”

That night, I changed into clean clothes and went into Liu Bao’s camp.

Unlike Wei Ning’s noble and elegant family, Liu Bao is powerful and strong, and can torture people in that kind of thing.

Thinking of this, Liu Bao hugged me and moved hard. I had tears in my eyes because of the pain. My fingers crossed his back, provoking him to roar.

“What are you thinking?”

Rough fingers wiped the tears from my eyes, and Liu Bao looked easy to talk to when he was satisfied, even though he looked like this when he killed people.

I know I should say something nice at this time to make him happy, so that I can feel better, but I don’t want to.

Even the body has been paid, but I still embrace a trace of worthless pride, do not want to bow to Liu Bao, I also feel quite ridiculous.

“I’m thinking I won’t be able to ride tomorrow.”

“Are you trying to please me?”

“Did you please him?”

“Poor.” I

lowered my eyes and didn’t want to talk any more. Those words

just now are already the limit, I am afraid to say one more word, he will see through my disgust.

“Why don’t you speak?”

I learned from Fu Yan to hook his waist with my legs, but I was not as long as Fu Yan’s legs, more like rubbing him with my legs. “Is Zuo Xianwang tired?”? Wasting time talking to me?

Liu Bao was probably angry to me, hot breathing in my ear, “very good, cai Wenji, you are very good…”

Because successfully angered the leopard Liu, I really couldn’t ride a horse the next day, was Fu Yan carried on horseback, brought back the Huns king account.

Fu Yan did not know whether it was intentional or not when she waved her whip, but she brushed my face several times.

“Don’t move!”

I don’t want to be disfigured yet. Is it because of Liu Pao that you are unhappy?

Fu Yan turned to look at me, “Cai Yan, calling the master’s name is a big taboo, you are looking for death.” Will

you tell Liu Bao? Will it?

Fu Yan pursed her lips to look at me, I have found out her temperament-Shen Min, like her, will not move me before she knows how much Liu Bao attaches importance to me.

In fact, I shouldn’t talk to her like this, but I don’t like her always talking about her master and slave.

Even if I am a lost dog, no one is qualified to be my master. After

being taken to the account of the king of the Huns, there was no turning point.

Dostie was born to the king of the Huns and the Han people, could not have become the king of Zuoxian, which is equivalent to the crown prince of the Huns, but he compared to other brothers meritorious military service, and his adoptive mother after the death of the legacy left, jumped to become the first person under the king of the Huns.

But it is also destined in the Huns king account this place, many of his enemies.

Waiting for the brothers who brought him down, the kings who hated him, and his own father who feared him.. This is

not so much Liu Bao’s home as his cage and field.

And I as Liu Bao brought back the Han Chinese slave girl, any one of them pinch me to death as simple as pinch ants.

Of course, these people also include the women of Liu Bao that Fu Yan has long reminded me of.

He had more than a dozen female slaves, both Hu and Han, and only two formal wives, both of whom were Xiongnu women married to large grasslands and tribal populations. On the day

we arrived, his wife whipped his slave girls with a horsewhip, splashed them with the snow from the glacier, and the women touched their foreheads to the ground, humbly begging for mercy in all kinds of languages.

There is no reason, or the reason is not important, she is not happy Liu Bao brought a woman back, so find someone to get angry, the slave girl is equal to the cattle and sheep, what reason do you need to whip the cattle and sheep? There was a woman directly killed

on the spot, the Huns women ride shot, his whip with all his strength, directly smashed her neck, a deep penetrating wound from the chin to the back of the neck, in the snow gush dark red blood full of malice.

I finally understood what Fu Yan meant when she said they would tear me apart.

People are afraid of pain, also afraid of death, want to avoid that kind of sad fate, can only fawn on Liu Bao, begging him to protect himself-this is probably what Fu Yan has been doing.

Unfortunately, I could not live in her way, because the first look the two ladies looked at me was like looking at a dead man.

Want to die when the Huns don’t let me die, now I want to live, but the moment of life.

I suddenly remembered that when I was a child, my father took me and the whole family to hide here and there in the mountains. Every morning when he got up, he would make a divination for himself. If the divination was good, he would pick up his beard and laugh, “Heaven has no way out!”. If the divinatory symbols were not good, he would put away the tortoise shells at random. “The story of ghosts and gods is not to be believed!”. Until he was recruited by

Dong Zhuo, Dad was worried about his death every day.

Later, in the capital, life was a little better, but Dong Zhuo acted perversely, and his father felt as precarious as before.

In the end, he did not die in the hands of Dong Zhuo, but was beheaded by Wang Yun.

He still failed to finish the history of the Han Dynasty, failed to sort out the ancient books, and failed to teach a qualified disciple. The only daughter who could not rest assured was still living in this situation.

I can’t help but wonder what Dad would do if he were here? In order to finish the history of the Han Dynasty,

he could ask Wang Yun to cut off his feet and tattoo on his face. It didn’t matter if he was a sinner or disabled. As long as he was alive, he could do what he wanted to do.

So what can’t I do to live?

As a result, I was so humble that I knelt down in front of Liu Bao’s wives almost piously, telling them that I was unbearable and humble, satisfying their spiritual desire for abuse in addition to physical torture, and begging them to let me live. On the way

back to the tent, Fu Yan praised me, “You look like you can live a long time.”

“I hope we can all live a long life.” This is how

my life in the Huns began, full of danger and darkness.

I began to live like a normal slave, arranged to do all kinds of things, cleaning, washing dishes, washing clothes, and wrapping myself around the glacier like a rice dumpling.

The wet nurse once said that as long as one place had frostbite, it would be easier to grow it again than other places if it was cold later.

I stretched out my fingers, which had the same frostbite as before, and I wrote my name in the snow as if I had been painting in the moonlight before embroidery.

Only wen-chi, no more Cao Cao.

Not to ask for any miracle, just remind yourself from time to time: you are cai Wenji, cai Yong’s daughter.

You mustn’t give up.

Occasionally, I will go to herd cattle and sheep.

Before reading, I envied the boundless grassland, but when I did this job, I realized that it was boundless sheep dung and boundless bitter cold.

I held the lamb in my arms and said to myself, “Lamb, lamb, do you know what is ideal and reality? The ideal is Zhaojun leaving the fortress, and the reality is Su Wu herding the sheep.”

The lamb couldn’t understand, so it jumped up and down to look for its mother.

The lamb still has parents and home, and I don’t have any. When Liu Bao came to me

in the evening, I told him that I was Su Wu, the shepherd. He rode on me and shook the whole bed. He said, “You are the king’s horse, the beauty’s horse.”

I thought to myself, *** you, I’m your father. The

mouth is still with he should call the begging for mercy, face this kind of thing as long as lost once, after much easier, leopard Liu still remember me now, is a good thing, which day he forgot me, the slave girl who was whipped to death is my fate.

But that night was very strange, Liu Bao did not go, lying on my body without saying a word, as if thinking about something.

I feel like he wants to talk to me for a while, but I don’t.

The night is very quiet, only the sound of the carbon fire in the stove and a few howls of wolves in the distance outside the tent, Liu Bao and I snuggled up to each other, is so close, but each other’s mind is probably different.

“The second child asked me for Fu Yan.”

Liu Bao suddenly said such a sentence. There was no joy or anger in

his tone, as if he were saying something insignificant.

But now that it’s mentioned, it’s not irrelevant.

“Are you giving Fu Yan away?”

Liu Bao stared at me, looking like a wolf on the wasteland.

I shivered. “She’s been with you for so long..”

Fu Yan told me that she was given to Liu Bao at the age of fourteen and became her woman at the age of fifteen. She was pregnant with three children, all of whom were aborted. Now she is twenty-four years old and has been with Liu Bao for ten years. No matter how long you’ve been

with me, you’re still an ingrate. Cai Yan, you and Fu Yan are the same.

I understood that it was Fu Yan who agreed to be sent away.

Liu Bao inexplicably made a fire of Fu Yan here, I trembled for a night, afraid that he broke my neck in a fit of anger, the next day he left me to find Fu Yan.

“Are you really leaving?”

“I’m a gift. It’s normal to be sent around.”

I see Fu Yan’s face is not happy, not like to go to Liu Bao that tyrannical brother there voluntarily.

“Think about it. His second brother even killed his own wife.”

“There’s no difference. It’s the same everywhere.”

Fu Yan didn’t say much to me, and soon someone came to help her carry her luggage and leave Liu Bao here.

During that time, Liu Bao became irritable with the naked eye. He always felt that Fu Yan was just a slave girl. He never realized that ten years was enough for this woman to enter all aspects of his life and become a part of his habits. After

Fu Yan left, he didn’t like the slaves he served, and the two ladies also met with a rebuff. In the past, they never allowed me to do anything in Liu Bao’s house. At this time, I couldn’t control it. In order to make my husband’s life more comfortable, I went to serve him there.

I finally don’t have to herd sheep anymore.

Liu Bao there are some letters, not a system, but it is rare for the Huns here complete.

He was born to a Han Chinese woman, and the people of Wang Zhang were afraid of his Han Chinese blood, so he always tried to behave like a pure-blood Xiongnu, riding horses, hunting, playing with women, annexing tribes, burning and looting like his brothers.

Han women delicate and charming, many Xiongnu nobles will raise some, but Liu Bao cautious to never let Han female slaves in their tents overnight, every time I come to my cabin to find me, as if cheating. I

remember the first time I met him, he had ten heads on his horse, and I wanted to carve “I have no feelings for them” on his face.

But it was also this man who let the mutinous soldiers who burned my book commit suicide to apologize.

So he is very contradictory, contradictory identity in the end is the Huns or Han people.

But he is also very determined, he must become the king of the Huns, or only die. When

I was packing up my letters, he saw me. He probably remembered that my family letters had been burned. He came to me and put the letters in my hand back on the shelf. “I heard that you are a child prodigy with a photographic memory. It doesn’t make any difference whether those books are there or not.”

Liu Bao said this and froze, I also froze.

I didn’t expect him to comfort me.

“Can I write from memory with pen and ink what I can remember?”

Liu Bao’s throat choked for a moment, and his voice dropped a little. “No, this is the account of the king of the Huns. Pay attention to your identity!”

“Yes.” After

a short moment, we returned to the original relationship, but that moment, very inexplicable, I remember for many years.

I feel that before Liu Bao said that sentence, he actually wanted to promise me.

He actually loved those books and wanted me to write down what I remembered, but he couldn’t do that. He doesn’t even blink when he

kills, but he struggles with my small request. I

don’t know what’s wrong, but I want to make him happy. “I have a good memory. When you want me to write, I’ll write to you.”

“Get out.”

“Yes.”

I carried a pot to fetch water and saw several Han slaves herding sheep. In the cold winter, they wore thin old fur coats and their cheeks were black and blue with cold. Far away, they saw me, a woman who looked like a Han Chinese. They smiled and nodded. In the Huns, we captives always smiled when we saw each other. If we didn’t do this, I’m afraid no one could support us. After all, walking alone in the boundless desert can drive people crazy. But it is

this tiny smile, all make the side of the Huns angry, waving a whip to drive them, I am not allowed to approach.

The Huns don’t allow us to communicate, in addition to me this kind of slaves picked by the nobles, the rest of the Han people like cattle and sheep, today here, tomorrow there, there will always be endless things to do, get endless play, a lot of people soon died, but the majority survived.

I envy those who die, and I admire those who live with me.

I was afraid that they would be beaten, so I ran away quickly. When I

run, I try to keep my eyes wide open and not let the tears flow out. It’s too cold outside, and the tears will form ice on my face, which can easily make my face chapped. The first day

I came here, Fu Yan said to me, “Don’t cry. If you cry, you will be ugly. If you are ugly, you will be abandoned.”.

So until leaving the Huns, no matter how much pain I endure, rarely allow myself to cry. In this way,

I tried to adapt to the life here, secretly contacted people in my hometown, and wanted to know the news there, but mostly in vain.

Dostie’s wives had trouble with me several times, because dostie had no response, and I knelt down quickly and begged for mercy. They thought I couldn’t make any waves, so they didn’t pay much attention to me. After a

few months, I saw Fu Yan again, and it was her body.

She was dead, beaten to death, pregnant with a well-formed boy.

The witch doctor said that even if he died a month later, the mother would be able to cut out the child, not one corpse and two lives. But

I thought it would be better if they all died, so that the children would not suffer when they were born.

Liu Bao’s second brother specially Fu Yan covered with scars belly high bulge of the body back, like a silent provocation, Liu Bao’s dignity trampled on the ground.

“The master said,” Your women and children have been returned to you. “”

Liu Pao sneered, “Is there anything you can say here?” He said to his guards, “Cut off his hands and feet and send them back to the second brother.”

“King Zuoxian, the slave is..” “Cut out his tongue, too,” said

Liu Pao.

Liu Bao went to Fu Yan’s body and touched the purple and black scars on the corners of her eyes, the corners of her mouth and the bridge of her nose.

I remember saying to her not long ago that I hoped we would all live long, but so soon, she died.

Counting the time, she should have been pregnant with the child at that time.

Because I was so close, I heard Liu Bao whispering, “You don’t believe me..”

Naturally, however, Fu Yan has been pregnant with three children, all aborted, she is strong enough to March and fight with Liu Bao, how can not even have a child.

Not because when she needed Liu Bao, Liu Bao was never there.

She was poisoned abortion, was hit abortion, was also punished to kneel abortion, Liu Baotong did not manage, Fu Yan told me to guess, Liu Bao originally did not like the children of the Huns.

So with this pregnancy, she probably didn’t plan to live well in the first place.

She would rather be sent to an executioner than tell Liu Bao, with his son to leave, have to say, is really wonderful revenge.

She is to let Liu Bao clear, what he lost. People who are

never treated as human beings also have the right to be angry, but Fu Yan is too stupid to use this irretrievable way. When

I recalled the past, I suddenly realized that Fu Yan had never harmed me.

This man, saying frightening words, kept saying that he wanted to kill me, but he didn’t even hurt me.

Hearing that I had just had a miscarriage, he looked for medicine for me everywhere and would boil a cup of hot water for me whenever there was a fire.

She is actually a very good person, but I was stupid and didn’t see it.

Fu Yan, I will live with you. The two of

us are going to live for a long time. The death of

Fu Yan triggered the explosive relationship between Liu Bao and his brothers. Liu Bao cremated her body and scattered the ashes outside his second brother’s tent, reciting a vicious curse in the Xiongnu language.

His brother rushed out, carrying a huge axe half a man’s height.

Liu Bao drew his sword, and the two men fought outside the tent. The

result of the fight was that Liu Bao chopped his brother’s giant axe, cut off three of his fingers, trampled his face under his feet, and crushed him hard. The man at

his feet scolded the dirty words I did not understand, Liu Bao’s hand holding the knife was shaking, I do not know whether it was because of excessive force, or because of anger.

Fortunately, Liu Bao finally restrained himself and let go of the man who killed his woman and child.

He has always been very restrained. After

returning to his tent, he sat alone in the tent for a long time, and no one dared to go in.

Finally, the two ladies decided to let me go in to see Liu Bao.

I opened the door curtain and saw Liu Bao sitting there, without joy or sorrow, as if he had fallen asleep with his eyes open.

I asked him, “It’s getting late. Do you want to bring a meal?”

“Get out!”

“Yes.”

I turned around and left.

“Stop!”

When I looked back at him, I couldn’t understand what he wanted.

“Cai Yan, don’t be like Fu Yan.”

“Huh?”

Liu Bao’s voice seemed to suppress something, “I didn’t want her.” And children.

“Too bad she’s dead. She’ll never be heard again.”

You think it’s my fault? Unbridled! I am Xiongnu Zuoxianwang, she is just a Xianbei slave girl, what qualifications does she have to find fault with me!

“Yes, you are right.”

The fault is that Fu Yan is so humble that she doesn’t deserve to be treated as a human being. It has nothing to do with you.

If you are pregnant and carry me on your back, I will cut the baby out of your stomach with my own hands and smash your bones to ashes! You will not betray me!

My heart trembled for no reason.

Did you hear that! Answer me!

“Yes.”

Liu Bao’s mouth probably had a curse effect, and soon after, I began to have morning sickness.

Perhaps because of the cheap regret for Fu Yan, Liu Bao exempted me from all my work and arranged for slaves to take care of me alone.

This also caused the dissatisfaction of the two ladies, but in the matter of Fu Yan they are not clean, at this time Liu Bao is still angry, they temporarily cease.

I don’t want to have a child with Liu Bao at all, but I can’t let myself have an abortion. Looking at the distant place

by the glacier, I have the impulse to grab the horse and run away at any time-people say that pregnant people are always irrational, as expected, in the past, I would never have this idea of death.

Take care of my child called tea, parents are captured from the Han Chinese slaves, but she grew up in the Huns, I don’t know why, so very happy. Children of

seven or eight years old are seldom unhappy.

Small tea black fat, less than my shoulder height, but can carry dozens of pounds of buckets, there are always people laughing at her like a bull, she is not angry, still silly and happy. “Why is my sister so unhappy?”

She wondered. She asked me too many questions, and

I couldn’t get away with it, so I told her, “I’m homesick.”

“Where is my sister’s meadow?” It

‘s not in the meadow. My home is in a place called Chenliu. There is an old house there, which was passed down from my great-grandfather to my grandfather, and from my grandfather to my father.

Chen Liu’s old house is in disrepair, and there aren’t many rooms to live in, so my wet nurse and I have been sleeping in the same room. My wet nurse snores at night, and I am often kept awake by her noise. Then I get up and look at the moon.

“The moon in the Chenliu mountain forest is very beautiful, and the walls of the old house are covered with purple and white flowers. When I was a child, I had to ride on my father’s shoulders to pick them.”

“There is a small stream outside the old house, where villagers draw water in the morning. At noon, women go to wash their clothes with wooden buckets in their arms, and children can play barefoot in the water.”

“I can’t play with them. I want to practice calligraphy, read and embroider in the house.”

“But I like it, whether it’s playing or reading.”

“At night, when the mountains were empty, my father would take out the Jiao Wei Qin and play it, and my wet nurse would prepare small cakes for me at night. Sometimes they were flower cakes, and sometimes they were noodles and fish. I could eat them and spend the night listening to my father play the Qin.”

My sister’s home is really nice! But what is a chiao-tailed lute?

It was a piece of paulownia that my father came across. The piece of paulownia that he saved from the fire was an excellent material, and it was made into a lute. The end of the lute had been scorched, so it was called a burnt end lute. The sound of the instrument is clear and clear, and it is a rare good instrument in the world.

I really want to hear the sound of Jiao Wei Qin. We also have very nice musical instruments here, and my father was very good at playing them, so I went back and learned to play them for my sister!

“Yes, thank you.”

The next day, Xiao Cha took a short stick from her father and began to learn it.

I helped her adjust her gestures and taught her to breathe. Little Cha was very surprised. “Can my sister blow?”.

No. But for wind instruments, this is probably the case.

Tea’s little black and white eyes flickered at me, full of adoration.

I was pregnant and bored, so I learned to blow with Xiaocha. When

Liu Bao came to see me, I was wearing a white cloth, wearing long hair that had just been washed, and blowing my beard to the distance.

He hugged me from behind, put his head on my shoulder, and said softly, “Cai Yan, don’t think about the past. I will be good to you.” Tea

sat on the ground and looked at us heartlessly and smiled.

I stroked my growing belly with my hand and looked up at the bright moon in the sky.

It’s no use, Liu Bao.

Bright moon, shine my heart, my heart is the same as the eternal moon, will not change.

Because of a miscarriage, the baby’s pregnancy was not good. In June and July, I was always bleeding, and the witch doctor said I was afraid I couldn’t conceive.

Little tea was so worried that every day she would stroke my stomach and gently advise me, “You have to be good, little pony.”

Tea said that if it was a boy, it was a pony, and if it was a girl, it was a lamb.

Recently, she somehow concluded that it was a boy. I have a bad hope in my

heart, but I won’t say this to her for fear of scaring her.

During this period of time, Liu Bao was reprimanded by the King of the Huns because of his enmity with his second brother. He was punished for being idle and often came to sit here.

It’s like putting me on fire.

I advised him, “Your father is so angry because of what you did to Fu Yan and his brother. Now you still come to my Han woman’s tent every day. Are you tired of it?” When

Liu Pao had finished with his sword, he threw water from the barrel onto his body, leaving his eyelashes wet with drops of water. He looked at me sideways and said, “You’re getting more and more presumptuous.”

Xiao Cha handed up the cotton towel in time.

I took the cotton towel and wiped the remaining drops of water from Liu Bao’s body. As I wiped, I said, “I overstepped my authority.”

Liu Bao grabbed my hand and stared straight at me? Cai Yan, for such a long time you never call yourself a slave, I don’t say, you don’t change, do you really feel that you have overstepped your authority?

I grasped the cotton towel in my hand.

“I have been lenient enough with you. If I had treated you like Fu Yan, you would have died countless times.”

I took a deep breath. “A man can be killed, but not humiliated.”

“Why do you want to die again?”

“What does it matter to you whether I live or die?”

Liu Pao used all his strength, as if he were trying to crush my wrist. “A woman with a wolf’s heart and a dog’s lungs.”

May be unable to control their emotions during pregnancy, or may be the pain, I instantly shed tears, not a word to Liu Bao.

For a long time, Liu Bao loosened my hand and wiped my tears. You’re

going to be a mother. Don’t be so ridiculous. If something happens to you, the child won’t be able to live. I have so many children that I cannot control one or two.

My heart suddenly jumped, and the thing I had been afraid of for a long time was finally said by him.

This child, in the end where to go.

“Do you understand, Cai Yan?”

“Okay, I understand.”

Liu Bao’s eyes are rare pity and affection, but this kind of thing is undoubtedly cheap and no guarantee, after Liu Bao left, I finally made up my mind.

I found Mrs. Duo and told her that I was willing to give her the child to raise. Mrs.

Duo was not like the other one. Although she also punished the slave girl, none of her men had ever died. At most, she was punished by kneeling and beating.

And she didn’t have any children.

“As a mother who voluntarily abandons her child, you are like a jackal.”

I thought to myself, you’re wrong. Even a jackal wouldn’t abandon a child, and I did.

If I give birth smoothly, please ask your wife to take him away directly. Don’t let me see him and hear him cry. He is your own child, and I will never regret it.

“I will. A cold-blooded woman like you doesn’t deserve to be a mother.” On the way

back, Xiao Cha touched my stomach and asked me, “What did my sister and madam say?”? You look so pale.

“Little tea, it will be just the two of us, and there will be no more ponies.”

“Why?”

Because.. This is not my home. After

saying this, I finally could not suppress, holding the small tea number and crying loudly.

The child was not aborted or stillborn, and all the terrible things I had presupposed did not happen, and he came into the world peacefully.

After he left my body, Mrs. Duo, who had been standing by, picked him up.

I turned my head away from the scene.

I was afraid that if I looked at it again, I would be tempted to take back my child.

I think of Wei Xu, the lonely boy who knelt down and cried in his mother’s mourning hall.

I used to be so afraid that my children would do the same.

I used to look down on Ling Que Yin’s behavior of leaving the child to die.

My little pony gave a cry.

I growled, “Take him away!”! I don’t want to hear him cry!

The cry faded away, leaving only me and Xiao Cha in the tent.

Tea wiped my sweat with a hot towel, and I trembled all over, not knowing whether it was tired or painful.

After a while, when I was about to faint, the door curtain was lifted again and the tall man came in.

His knife collided with his armor and made a cold sound.

“Master..”

The small tea was kicked away by him.

He stood beside my bed and looked down at me. His eyes were dull and dark.

I know he’s angry.

But just like I was captured to the Huns, I can’t resist, everyone always can’t resist.

I burst out laughing.

Are you going to kill me?

Liu Bao didn’t speak.

I guess you won’t. You may not understand, but you are already in love with me.

Liu Bao pulled out the knife, and the blade, which had been soaked with blood, was facing me.

But I will never love you. Never.

Liu Bao brandished a knife to me, I do not dodge, just look at him. The tip of the

knife stopped at my neck and trembled slightly.

We looked at each other like this for a long time.

The scene was like the last time Wei Ning and I met.

Liu Bao took back the knife.

“Is it still possible?”

“No.”

Liu Bao left, the cold wind whistling outside the tent, occasionally a baby crying accompanied by the wind came, I do not know if it is my illusion.

In the next few years, Liu Bao no longer came to me.

Mrs. Duo kept her promise, was kind to the child, and helped me escape several times from the punishment of another lady.

It makes me feel sick for no reason-it’s like.. It’s the same as trading in children.

I began to herd sheep again, accompanied by small tea, I told her about the collection of classics and history, about poetry and etiquette, small tea heard in a daze, only my voice she could understand.

She said, “It sounds sad.”

In the seventh year of my coming to the Huns, the envoy of the Han Dynasty came to visit.

Across the glacier, I saw the winding motorcade and the flag representing the Han Dynasty.

Calm down.. Calm Cai Wenji. Calm down!

My heart almost jumped out of my chest, and my hand was so weak that I couldn’t even hold it.

I looked at the reflection of the glacier on the water. Now I am wearing a long robe, with long braids, my skin is not as white as it used to be, and my eyebrows are stained with the wind and frost.

“Sister?” Tea

‘s voice brought me back to reality.

I suddenly thought of something and left the little tea and rushed to Mrs. Duo’s camp.

“Madam, please do me a favor.” Mrs.

Duo was cooking milk tea, and beside her sat a child, like a miniature version of Liu Bao-fortunately, fortunately, he did not inherit me at all, and he never needed to know the truth.

Mrs. Duo patted the child and said softly, “You go out to play first. I have something to do here.”

“Yes, Ah Niang.”

The child stopped dead in his tracks as he passed me.

I lowered my eyes and didn’t want to face him.

“I know you.” The atmosphere of the

room fell to the freezing point, Mrs. Duo’s hand holding the agate bracelet in her hand was too hard, and the knot of the bracelet was broken and scattered on the ground.

You often blow on the edge of the glacier. It’s very nice. Can you play it for me later?

“Xixiu, don’t be rude. Get out of here.”

The child crossed his fingers, as if expecting me to agree to his request, but I turned a blind eye. Unable to

wait for my reply, he said helplessly, “Then I’ll go riding.” After

he left, Mrs. Duo slapped the short man in front of her, “Cai Yan, don’t forget your promise!”

I won’t forget that I came to you to put an end to this matter once and for all. When the Han envoy comes to visit, he asks his wife to send me the news. Once I leave the Huns, I will not return in this life.

“Impossible.”

“Madam?”

Lady Duo looked at me with pity. “Do you know that our husbands are going to inherit the throne of the Huns?” All these years on the edge of the king’s tent,

I did some rough things and lived in isolation, so naturally I didn’t know.

This time to welcome the Han envoy, he received him on behalf of his father. Cai Yan, he can’t let you go, and I won’t take this risk for you.

Mrs. Duo picked up the scattered agate beads one by one and said carelessly, “If you can help me become a big girl, I can raise your status and make you no longer a slave girl.”

“That won’t be necessary.”

“No need?” Mrs. Duo came up to me. She was much taller than me. I could only look up.

Duo lady is the Huns woman, in her opinion, she offered how superior, and I actually want to also don’t want to refuse.

“Then you can be a shepherdess all your life.”

I couldn’t stay any longer and ran out.

……

As the lady said, Han make in the Huns king account for half a month, I can’t even touch the edge of Han make.

Liu Bao under the death order, do not allow the king account any Han people contact Han make.

On the day of their departure, I played the music of my hometown beside the glacier not far from the motorcade. I have a knife on my

waist. Before they leave completely, I will end all this and let my soul follow the motorcade home. At the end of the

last note, I was about to take out my knife, but I was grabbed by a brute force.

“Cai Yan, do you dare to die?!”

I don’t have to look back to know who it is. “Let go.”

“I’m going to be the king of the Huns. I can make you my servant.”

“Let go.”

Dostie pinched my face let me look at him, in the past few years, his face is more resolute, belong to the Huns that part of the blood has the upper hand, more gloomy than I saw ZuoXianWang early.

“Don’t even think about it.”

Liu Bao carried me back to the camp, tore open my clothes, can’t wait to combine with me.

I kicked him and bit him crazily, and my mouth was full of the smell of blood, not knowing whether it was mine or his.

He pressed my leg with his shoulder and asked for it without knowing it. The hot sweat dripped on me, but I was as cold as falling into the ice hell.

He repeated over and over again,

“Cai Yan, you are mine.”

“Always”..

30

I’m pregnant again.

God is really good at joking.

Xiongnu throne has been like a bag, dostie also have no scruples, he made an exception to let me a Han female stay in his camp, lady to please him, and even help him cover up, those days I day and night with him, soon pregnant again.

When I had another morning sickness, he grabbed my hand and led me to the horse farm and pointed it out to me.

“That’s Hsi-hsiu. He’s our son. He’s weak, but he’s very good at riding and shooting. He’s far better than his brothers.”

His expression was so proud that he seemed to see another child in Xixiu’s body, who was also born to a Han slave girl and the King of the Huns, who was also thin and weak, and who was also practicing hard to surpass his brother and make his father look up to him.

But I do not want to see, do not see will not heartache, do not see can not exist.

“Tsai Yen, you have already abandoned one. This one, we raised together.”

I covered my mouth, almost out of breath, and could only shake my head.

“Tsai Wen-chi, I will change everything in the future. I will be good to you.”

“Liu Bao..”

“Is it fair to deny me a chance just because I’m a Huns?”

“Not..” What is

that! What do you want?

“I’m going home!”

“Isn’t this your home?”

Don’t ask me such questions. I know exactly where my home is and who I am. I was captured, I lived here as a slave, and my book.. All the books my father left me were destroyed! These things will not change because I have a child. You feel angry just because you’re in love with me, and you can’t do anything about it, but without your love, then.. I recalled the flames that soared into the sky, and Fu Yan’s black and blue body turned to ashes in the fire.

So, what’s the difference between me and Fu Yan? Why shouldn’t I hate?

Liu Bao took my hand and loosened it. He stared at me.

When his dream was about to come true and he finally came to that position, thinking that he could finally control his own destiny, I, a humble and forgotten woman, told him that it was impossible.

He was taught from an early age that the law of the jungle was the law of the jungle. If he wanted something, he would use all means to get it, exchange it with gold, silver and jewelry, and conquer it with a steel knife.

He also won a lot of things he wanted.

But I’m not in it.

For a long time, he said, “Cai Yan, you are really good at poking my heart.” In

the past, I was not like this. Maybe I suffered too much, and I couldn’t stand it if I didn’t vent it to others.

“Because I’m in pain. I’ve always been in pain.”

Liu Bao hugged me into his arms and gently put my head against his chest, listening to his powerful heart beating like a gentle lover.

“I’ll give you pen and ink. If you’re pregnant and bored, you can record all the books your father left behind.”

Of course.

But it’s too late. The second child of Liu Bao and

I was born in winter. The wind and snow were so heavy that we could not see the road clearly. It made people feel desperate for no reason.

Liu Bao picked him up with his own hands, soothed his loud cry, and then put him on my pillow.

Liu Bao’s voice was like an evil spirit pulling people into hell. “Look at him, your flesh and blood.” I closed my eyes

tightly, struggling in the double pain of body and mind, like a fish trapped in a net, with only a weak breath.

“The child is very cold. Hold him.”

“Little Tea..” I shouted the name of the small tea.

“Stop screaming. We’re the only ones here.” Liu Bao patted the crying child, pinched my face and forced me to face him. “Cai Yan, if you really don’t want it, I will throw him into the snow, and soon he will leave this world.”

“Liu Bao!”

I opened my eyes and saw a child with wrinkled skin, fetal hair stained with blood, eyes closed, mouth open, hands stretched into the air, not knowing what he was looking for.

At that moment, it seemed that something rushed to my head. I couldn’t hear anything. I forgot who I was, where I was, and everything in the past. I only had this child in front of me, a child born of my blood and my flesh.

He’s crying. He’s looking for me.

I can’t stop him!

I couldn’t hold on any longer and reached out to hold the baby.

Liu Bao also bent down and hugged our mother and son on the bed.

I heard him exclaim, “That’s it, we’re family.”

A family, such a ridiculous family.

Before long, Liu Bao officially became the next king of the Huns, the lady got her wish to become a big man, and I also got a bigger residence, more slaves, near Liu Bao and my little treasure to live together. Unlike his brother Xixiu,

Xiao Bao likes to ride and shoot. He likes to sit alone, watch the tea cleaning, watch the adults compete, watch the brothers ride horses, watch the cattle and sheep beside the glacier, and watch the snow melt slowly in the mountains.

Xiao Cha said, “Xiao Bao is just like her sister. She likes to see the scenery.”

I would sit with him and tell him stories and short stories. He seemed to be indifferent to everything. He had no hobbies and no partners.

His eyes were full of ignorant scrutiny, as if he were a passer-by and did not really belong to the world.

He was often ill, but even if he was burning all over, he would not cry out that he felt uncomfortable. He would drink the medicine brought by the small tea and then sleep quietly.

He seldom spoke until he was three years old. Others laughed at him as a fool, but he was not in a hurry, nor did he defend himself. He still looked at all this with his ignorant and blank eyes.

When I asked him what he was looking at, he would tell me, “I’m just looking, not looking at anything.”

Why didn’t you see anything? Look at the sky, look at the earth, look at the sheep, the prairie, and the clouds. Have they not entered your eyes?

“Yes, but I didn’t really look at it.”

“Then what are you looking at?”

At that time, he didn’t know how to use precise words to express his thoughts. Later, as he grew older, he hugged me and whispered, “Ah Niang, I really like this place. I’ve been looking at it for a long time, and I like everyone and every cloud.”

“You’ve been watching it for so long, just to see if you like it?”

He nods his head vigorously and smiles brightly, “I feel so happy!”

From then on, he grew up like a real Huns, I once told him the story he gradually forget, because he likes here, he is the prince of the Huns.

Liu Bao holding him on the horse, together on horseback galloping in the boundless wilderness, Xixiu riding to catch up, father and son three people’s laughter echoed.

Little Cha had grown up and was about to get married. The generous girl asked me, “Sister, is this your home now?”

I did not answer, but gawked at the three people who had become a silhouette.

This question, Liu Bao has not asked me for a long time, but every night with a strong arm around my waist, close to me, to confirm that my whole person is his.

The gesture was too intimate, like a lover, for me to refuse.

It was a quiet day. After dinner with Xiao Bao, we went to the pasture to see the newborn lambs. When

passing by the camp, her maid said that Liu Bao, who had gone out to suppress the rebellion, would come back today. The banquet was already being prepared

there. I would never attend such a formal occasion. I took Xiao Bao’s hand and continued to walk.

Less than two hours, Liu Bao came back, with him, is a tall and strong not lose to the Han Chinese young men of the Huns warriors.

Although he was a teenager, there were seven or eight heads hanging on his horse, the blood on his armor dried up into purple and black, and his eyes were as cold as eagles and as pure as snow on the top of the mountain. His hair was light

all over his body, as if to appear steady, and he had a beard like a young man with a weak crown, especially a pale yellow beard.

Liu Bao’s look is very ugly, there is no joy of victory.

I was leading my youngest son to see the lambs come back. He heard that the lambs would soon be sent to other homes. Ah Niang, who had left them, was a little sad. When she saw her father coming back, she rushed over happily.

The yellow-bearded boy looked at me and my child, who looked like a Han Chinese, and seemed to understand something.

He asked Liu Bao, “Are these Lady Tsai and the children?”

“Yes.”

The young man looked at me from beginning to end, with a sense of scrutiny, and then came forward to salute me with his hand. “I, Cao Zhang, the son of the prime minister, was entrusted by my father to welcome the daughter of Cai Gong back to Han.”

“Your father is..”

“Cao Cao.”

Later, I learned that Cao Zhang’s journey to pick me up was not as peaceful as I had seen.

He helped Liu Bao put down the rebellion, but also directly stationed in the hinterland of the Huns, if Liu Bao don’t agree with me to go back, then Tsao Jang soldiers don’t mind fighting again.

Elder martial brother at that time has become the prime minister, pacified the north, strength is not Liu leopard can contend.

Tsao Jang is a warrior, completely live into the elder martial brother wanted to live into the appearance, high-spirited, wield the square. There are no entanglements and twists and turns in

his eyes, only the perseverance of carrying out orders.

His father asked him to bring me back, and he prepared gold and silver and military forces. If the king of Xiongnu agreed to my departure, he would offer gold and silver. If he did not agree, he would draw his sword.

And Liu Bao did not strongly oppose, just said: “cai Wenji can go, but the Huns blood can’t take away.”

Xiao Bao seemed to understand something and immediately hugged me tightly.

I looked at Liu Bao in despair. “How could you..”

Liu Bao did not look at me, nor did he look at the child. He stood with his hands on his back and confronted Tsao Jang. “The prime minister wants to bring back the teacher’s daughter. If cai Wenji agrees, the king has nothing to do with it.”. But as the corps commander saw, cai Wenji’s son is the royal family of the Huns, can’t take away.

Tsao Chang nodded. “That’s right.”

“My child, why can’t I take it?”

Liu Bao’s hand has been on the hilt without falling, emitting a cold momentum, “you can choose, cai Wenji.” Then

he looked at me, his eyes cold.

It’s like saying, “If you go, the child stays; if you want the child, you don’t go.”.

“Well, the corps commander has come a long way. Please rest first. The king has prepared a banquet in the evening.”

Thank you, King of the Huns. It’s just that the matter of Mrs. Tsai..

“Ben Wang said that Tsai Wen-chi himself could choose.” As soon

as Liu Bao waved his hand, the bodyguard beside him snatched the child from me and stopped me from approaching.

Xiao Bao had never seen his father with such a sullen face, and he understood the meaning of our words. When he was carried away by the guards, he cried bitterly, Ah Niang! Niang! You don’t want me! Niang! I want Ah Niang!

I bit my lip tremblingly, wishing I was blind and deaf, and didn’t want to suffer in such a purgatory scene.

When Tsao Jang saw that I was about to faint and there were no attendants around, he gave me a hand and whispered in my ear, “Madam, please think carefully. Father is willing to give you two thousand gold and a pair of white jade in exchange for your wife’s return. He also sent me to coerce him with a large number of troops, so that the King of Xiongnu would let go.”

The implication is that there is no room for negotiation.

But that’s my baby! My blood, my flesh, grew up beside me, from an unconscious baby in swaddling clothes to a laughing and talking little man, holding my legs and calling my mother’s child..

Tsao Chang added, “My father has been looking for his wife for many years, and he has ordered me to bring you back.”

“Father has one more thing to say, and he asked me to bring it to his wife.” Tsao Chang seemed to find the remark awkward and frowned. “Father said, ‘Wei Ning is not good. I’ll take you home.'”

I pressed the awl-like pain in the temple, the past emerged in front of me one by one, those distant painful scenes were reincarnated over and over again, and I found that the happy time in my life came to an abrupt end after that sentence.

The Wei family, the Huns, the aborted child, the decapitated father, the burned book and Fu Yan, and the Xixiu who wanted to hug but could only ignore it.

“Let me think.”

I said to Tsao Jang, and then I went back to the glacier where I used to herd sheep.

There, several Han slaves have taken over my work, one of whom I have recognized is a group of Han people who were captured with me.

Seeing no Huns watching, he greeted me, “You’re here!”

Other Han Chinese also nodded to me.

I asked him, “We have been in the Huns for twelve years. Have you got married here?”

“I’m a slave, and I’m just going to die.”

“If you had a wife and children and were asked to go back to the Central Plains, would you be willing to go back?” The people

around me gradually approached and seemed to understand what I wanted to ask. One

of the women trembled and asked, “Can you go home?”

A group of people looked at me with sparks in the ashes, as if they were looking at a dream they dared not have.

I nodded with difficulty and looked at them for an answer. “But my child can’t come with me.”

There was a long silence, and then the woman growled, “Go back!”! Don’t die in this place! The soul cannot return home!

One after another people said,

“Go back!”! This is not our home!

“Please go back and give a message to Sun Chiu-niang of Yangxian County in Los Angeles, saying that her man is dead and there’s no need to wait any longer!”

Go back! I’ve run away three times, and maybe I’ll die next time, but I’m still going back!

“Girl, go back. It’s not your fault to come here. You don’t have to be responsible for it!”

They said to me over and over:

Go back, son!

With the dream of our sad lost dogs back to the broken and messy mountains and rivers, and then tell them, we are not the dogs of the Huns, we will always be the people of the big fellow! On the day I

left, I changed back to the clothes of the Han people and gave all the valuable things I had accumulated over the years to Xiaocha.

Tea broke down in tears, and she said she would like to go with me.

But I know that she is a child of the Huns, and this is her home.

I’ve been through so much leaving home, how can I let her go through it again for me.

I only took away a short, this is a small tea to me, is nothing to do with Liu Bao.

I walked to Tsao Jang’s motorcade, Liu Bao with small treasure waiting there.

Just one night without seeing me, Xiao Bao lost a lot of weight, his eyes were black, and his clothes were covered with dust.

He jumped on me and hugged me. Ah Niang, don’t you want me? Niang, I will be good, I am obedient, you do not want me. Niang, I was wrong. I know I was wrong. Don’t go.

I have never hated a person so much, but at that moment, I want to let Liu Bao die so much, want to crush his bones and raise ashes!

He’s like a cold-blooded animal!

I pulled my little son’s fingers away from me one by one, but he hugged me more tightly again and again. He trembled with fear and begged me not to abandon him.

And Liu Bao so watching, with my own child will my heart a knife Ling Chi.

Tsao Jang wanted to pull the child away, but Liu Bao’s bodyguard stopped him. Liu Bao sneered, “Don’t hurt my son, corps commander.”

“You’re right. Ah Niang is wrong. Ah Niang must go.” Will you

take me away! Niang, don’t leave me! I’m scared! Niang, you love me the most. Why don’t you want me? I don’t want to be a child without a mother! Holding my son in my arms,

I had no strength to push him away and cried with him.

Tsao Chang said, “Mrs. Tsai, we have to go.”

Liu Bao said, “Have you made your choice, Cai Yan?” I

don’t know what to say or do, I just want to hold my baby a little longer, a little longer..

Suddenly, the child was pulled out of my arms.

“Xixiu?”

Xixiu pulled Xiaobao away from me and whispered, “Let her go. My brother will protect you later. Ah Niang doesn’t want you. My brother wants you.”

“Xixiu, you know..”

Hsi-hsiu didn’t look at me, and there were tears in his eyelashes, but he still said to me with a calm self-restraint that was not in line with his age: “I have eyes and ears, and I can tell who my mother is.”. You can go. I’ll take care of Xiao Bao.

“I’m sorry, Xixiu.”

Xixiu held his brother in his arms and turned his head to look at me deeply. His eyes were like a hot brand, and he wanted to engrave me in his heart.

Then he tried to smile, laughing at himself. “Ah Niang is always unhappy. I thought it was because of me.”

“No!”

“Ah Niang, let’s go and be happy in the future.”

When Liu Pao took a step forward, Hsi-hsiu called to his father, “Father, I can’t hold Xiao Bao anymore. Come and help me.”

He deliberately block in Liu Bao with knife, if Liu Bao rushed over regardless, will only hurt him.

Tsao Jang took the opportunity to pull my sleeve to take me to the car, I was weak, almost fell on the carriage, only to hear the voice of Xixiu outside.

“Ah Niang, blow for me once, just once!”

I took out the short stick in my sleeve, wiped away my tears, and began to play.

The sound is moist and heavy, the lament is sad and distant, and the eighteen beats of the beard are scattered among the desolate heaven and earth in troubled times. At the beginning of my

life, I did nothing. After I was born, Han Zuo declined.

Heaven is not benevolent, it falls in disorder, and earth is not benevolent, it makes me meet at this time.

……

The sun in the east and the moon in the west look at each other, but they can’t follow each other. Don’t forget your worries

about Hemerocallis, and why do you feel hurt when you play the harp.

Today, I leave my son and return to my hometown. The old resentment is peaceful and the new resentment is long.

Weeping blood, looking up and telling the grey, Hu Weisheng, I am alone in this disaster.

The so-called fate has always been so bloody and cruel. In my whole

life, I never saw Xixiu and Xiaobao again, nor Liu Bao again. I’m always cold on the way

back. I walked the way I

came, and all the way was a painful memory. I didn’t want to see it again. I stayed in the carriage all the time. There was a stove

in the car, and the maid covered me with a mink cloak, but the chill seemed to seep through the bones.

“Madam, your hands and feet are cold.”

“I know.”

“Do you want the maidservant to go to the young general?”

I took her hand and shook my head. “Don’t bother.”

The maid felt uneasy and eventually went to find Tsao Jang.

Dressed in uniform, Tsao Chang poked his head into the carriage and looked around. Feeling the warmth of the crush, he frowned at me and said, “Is Mrs. Tsai not feeling well?”

It’s okay, just a little cold. It’s a chronic illness. It will be better if the weather is warm.

I saw that there was still dark red blood on the armor on his shoulder. It didn’t seem that he hadn’t wiped it clean, but that it was caused by oozing blood. I asked him, “I used a lot of charcoal here. Is it enough for the young general?”? I don’t really need that much. It’s cold whether I burn it or not.

“Don’t worry about me. Mrs. Tsai can protect herself.”

Tsao Jang finished, pulled up the curtain and went out. That night, the charcoal on the carriage burned more, but the chill was still like gangrene attached to the bone, lingering.

Two days later, when the maid brought me a meal, she said, “I heard that the young general fainted from a fever, and all the healers in the army went to see him.”

“What’s going on?” “The old wound came back,” said the

maid, as she set the dishes, “and I caught a cold, and it started to burn. Don’t worry, madam. The young general is the strongest son in the prime minister’s house. He seldom suffers from illness. He should be able to recover soon.

“Are you a house slave of the prime minister’s mansion?”

“Yes.”

I understand that the girl is blaming me.

Through the curtain of the chariot, I once faintly heard several of Cao’s personal guards saying that in order to redeem me, they had spent a lot of money and secretly replaced me with “two thousand gold.”.

I gathered up my cloak and stepped out of the carriage.

“Madam?” He had not gotten out of the car for

a long time, and his footsteps were somewhat superficial. When he reached Tsao Jang’s frame, a healer was left beside him to change the medicine for his shoulder. The charcoal stove beside him was extinguished, and there was no charcoal to burn.

Seeing me coming, Tsao Jang pulled a cloak to cover the wound.

“I’ve heard that the young general is ill. I’ve come to see him.”

Tsao Chang was a little impatient. “It doesn’t matter. Madam, go back to the carriage.”

“Does the young general think I’m in the way?”

“Why does Madame think so?”

“Actually, I think I’m in the way, too.”

I walked to Tsao Jang’s side, regardless of his eyes, pulled open his cloak covering the wound, and saw the purple scar.

“The young general was badly hurt, but he gave me all the charcoal. In this way, he got better more slowly. He had already tired you a lot by taking me back to Han. If I had more pain, Cai Wenji would feel uneasy.”

“It’s just a little injury. Mrs. Tsai doesn’t have to care too much.”

I looked at the wound. “Doctor, the wound seems to be necrotic.”

The healer nodded slightly. “It’s a pity that it’s freezing here, and there’s no good medicine for wounds, so we can only keep them here first.”

Young General, take away some of my charcoal, keep the man warm, and the wound will heal quickly. And some of the flesh here must be gouged out, or it will continue to fester all around.

“I know my body. A small wound is not worth worrying about.”

The healer seemed to know that he could not persuade me, so he waved his hand to me and motioned me not to say any more.

But thinking that the man in front of me was the benefactor who took me home and the child of the elder martial brother, I couldn’t let it go.

Since I couldn’t persuade him, I simply picked up the knife that the healer used to cut the herbs and cut his wound while Tsao Jang was unprepared.

Tsao Jang said he was fine, but the moment the knife touched his wound, he gave a low roar.

The healer exclaimed, “Mrs. Tsai, this is..”

I pressed the knife across the wound, chipping off a piece of dead flesh. Tsao Chang’s other hand tried to hold me down. “Don’t touch,” I whispered. “My hand is not steady.”

“How dare you point a knife at me?!” After

cutting, I said to the healer, “Thank you for cleaning and dressing the young general again.”. That’s really not a good sign. I can’t help it. Please forgive me.

Tsao Chang interrupted me. “Mrs. Tsai, I’m the one you should ask for forgiveness.”

I smiled at him. “I should ask you to forgive me. As an apology, please take back the charcoal that the young general gave me.”

I handed the handle of my knife back to the healer and bowed to Tsao Zhang. “Don’t worry about my health. I can live for twelve years in Xiongnu. I’ll stick to my father’s spirit and burn a stick of incense. I won’t die.”

“You..”

You are very much like your father, and you do not like to hear good advice. Consider me asking you. You rescued me from my cage, but I let you suffer because of me. How can anyone feel at ease?

Tsao Jang had been sitting on a horse, but he stood up and handed me his cloak. “Your lips are all white. It looks much worse than mine.”

I bit my lower lip hard. “So it won’t be white?”

“You woman!”

I don’t say more with Tsao Jang, it is oneself also cold can’t stand, turned back to the carriage, let the maid half of the charcoal to Tsao Jang there.

Soon after, Tsao Jang’s illness was better, and he began to run with the soldiers outside. He fastened my window while I was blowing in the carriage.

“Mrs. Tsai, don’t play such a sad tune. The men under my command listen to you whimpering and sobbing. They go to bed at night crying for their mother.”

“That’s my fault. I won’t brag.”

“I didn’t mean that. Isn’t this a cure? Is there a festive song to celebrate?”

Knowing that Tsao Jang could not see, I nodded and changed the tune.

I like Tsao Jang very much. He has the spoiled and lawless pride and wanton of a young man. He lives in the light of the sky and smiles heartily and freely, just like Cai Zhaoji, who is fifteen years old.

In that case, he really shouldn’t listen to me.

Accompanied by my voice and Tsao Jang’s horse and whip, we arrived at Chenliu. The

old house has experienced these years of chaos, and has been uninhabited for a long time, has been dilapidated, only the flourishing vines and branches of a wall of flowers in memory are still there, only to wait until spring, and can blossom all over the wall. The women who drew water from the

stream did not recognize me, and the young children followed the mothers and looked curiously at Cao Zhang and me, who were covered with armor.

Someone said to me, “Madam, who are you looking for?”? The family is gone.

“I am Cai Yan, the daughter of this family.” The

women looked at each other. They must have heard of me, but they didn’t know each other. “Ah, is this Zhaoji?” Asked an old woman with a bent face, who was smoking a dry tobacco by a rock in the

Lee.

When I heard this name, which had not been mentioned for more than ten years, my nose turned sour and I recognized the old woman’s appearance. “It’s me. Are you Chen Wuniang?”

The old woman smiled, and the wrinkles at the corners of her eyes spread all the way to her cheekbones, chicken skin and crane hair. In fact, it was very difficult to connect with Chen Wuniang, the widow who was fierce and had a good color. Fortunately, I recognized her tobacco pouch. It’s hard for you to remember how old

I am. Zhaoji has grown up and is more beautiful than when she was a child. I’ve heard people say that you married to Hedong, but why haven’t you come back for so many years?

“For some reason, I haven’t been able to come back all these years, so this time I made a special trip back to clean up the old house.”

“That’s a good thing. I told you a long time ago that your Tsai family is a big family, and your father is a powerful man. These people in the village don’t understand. They just think that this house is vacant, and they want to occupy it several times. That’s not good. You have to talk to the village.”

“Who dares to be so rude?” Tsao Chang asked, glancing over a crowd of people by the stream.

“Who is this?”

“This is the son of Daddy’s old friend.” Chen Wu-Niang

nodded. Seeing that I didn’t elaborate, she didn’t ask questions. “Then, Zhao Ji, you clean up the old house, and then go and burn incense for your father.” Tsao Jang and

I walked into the old house, Tsao Jang was choked by dust cough, ordered his men to clean, casually found a stone bench to sit down. The courtyard is narrow, suddenly into these people, crowded, Tsao Jang big horse golden knife to sit in the middle, very uncomfortable.

“There is no intact post station nearby. You have worked hard to rest here tonight.”

Tsao Chang was not really satisfied with the conditions here, but he was not a spoiled gentleman. “It doesn’t matter,” he said with a wave of his hand. “I lived in a house like this when I was a child.”

Simply tidied up the yard, dug out a lot of letters that had not been brought in time in those years, which had been rotten and moldy by insects and dampness, but made people feel at ease.

I gathered them up and arranged them. When I was wiping them, I accidentally cut my finger. The maid quickly wrapped it in a handkerchief for me. “Madam, why is this finger black and blue? Is it because this book has poisonous insects crawling over it?”

“No, it’s just that frostbite happens here every year, and after a long time, even the color changes.”

I stretched out my hand to look at the finger. The knuckles were thicker and more deformed than other fingers, and the skin and flesh were blue and purple, which had a terrible meaning.

Sure enough, as the wet nurse said, as long as a long frostbite, after every year is easy to grow, the Huns bitter cold, frozen rotten once a year, once in the embroidery before the moonlight than fingers of the painting, now has been ugly.

“Lady Bian has a lot of good ointments. When she returns to Yecheng, she can ask for them. I’m sure she’ll get them back.”

Is it.. Mrs. Bian.. Is Mrs. Ting all right now?

I still remember that Shige’s wife is Mrs. Ding. Who is Mrs. Bian?

The maid looked away, and after a pause she said, “After Mrs. Ting was separated from your excellency, Mrs. Bian took good care of her. Everything is fine.” One of her maids really couldn’t talk to me about

such a topic, but it was like gossip in the family of the biographer.

But I really couldn’t imagine that Mrs. Ting would be separated from Elder Martial Brother. Why would the “elder sister” that Elder Martial Brother talked about in those days, a virtuous woman praised by everyone, be separated from her husband after his success?

I didn’t ask, and the maid was relieved. After a

simple lunch, I went to burn incense for my father, whose tomb was often taken care of. Tsao Chang said, “It should have been done by the scholars of Chen Liu.”

Standing in front of my father’s grave, I realized that I had been separated from him forever for too long.

“It turns out that the days of hiding in the mountains were the best. Dad, I’m back. I don’t know if that’s right, don’t you think?” Wei Ning and I had a quarrel

that year, and I was afraid that you would find out, so I didn’t send the letter. If I had known I shouldn’t have quarreled with Wei Ning, he and I were too young at that time.

“When I first came to the Huns, I wanted to die, but Liu Bao said I didn’t deserve to be Cai Gong’s daughter, so I struggled to survive..”

I had a lot to say to him, after so many things, after so many inhuman torments, but these things did not seem so remarkable compared with what he had suffered.

After all, my father is a person who makes a divination every day in the mountains and forests, always calculating whether he can live or not.

He has been on tenterhooks for many years and has been trembling for many years.

Perhaps, when he sent me to get married, his mood was the same as when I abandoned Xixiu and Xiaobao. At that time, he should have a premonition that he would never see me again.

I knelt on my father’s grave, touching the ground with my head, recalling him deeply, recalling every word he said to me, every word he taught me to write, every song he played for me.

“Zhao is like the bright moon, and Zhao Ji is the bright moon.”

Dad’s death is not sad, but regrettable. Everyone regrets that he died like this, but everyone admits that he lived with pursuit and value. He deserves to be a great scholar. Bene

ath those talents and ambitions, the pain of the body and the severance of the family seem so insignificant.

But I still want to cry like a useless child at his grave and say to him, “

Dad, I really miss you.”.

That night, I stayed in the room where I lived when I was a child. The wet nurse who used to sleep with me had long been separated in the war, and I didn’t even remember her face.

When the moonlight shines in, I think of those nights when the moonlight mingles with the sound of the piano, there are always small cakes made by the wet nurse, and I think of the proud look in her eyes when she touches my hair.

“What’s the matter with you, madam?” Seeing me suddenly sitting up, the maid asked me.

“It’s all right. I’m going out for a walk.”

“Do you want me to follow?”

“No, go to sleep. This is my home. Nothing will happen.”

I put on my cloak and walked out of the yard to relax by the stream. When she

reached the stone where Chen Wuniang was smoking, she heard the sound of a sword breaking through the air, and when she turned the corner, she saw Tsao Jang wearing a single coat and playing with his sword.

“Who?!”

“It’s me, Cai Yan.”

Tsao Chang put away his sword and said breathlessly, “Why did you run out at night?”

“That’s what I want to ask the young general.” I smiled at him and handed him my handkerchief. “Wipe your sweat and go back quickly. It’s so cold. It’s easy to catch a cold.”

Tsao Jang doesn’t care. “I’m not so weak, but you’re always afraid of the cold and running out.”. Don’t take things too hard. You haven’t said much since you came back from worshipping Tsai Kung.

“No, don’t worry, young general.”

Tsao Jang looked at me suspiciously. He probably remembered what I had said about offering incense to my father alive. He was afraid that I would die now.

“I will go back with you.”

“Young general, go back first. I want to go for a walk.”

“Then I’ll be with you.”

I was a little helpless, but Cao Zhang kept in mind what his father said to bring me back alive, so he must ensure my life and follow me.

So we walked along the stream together, originally silent section of the road, because of Tsao Jang to join it seems noisy.

“Why are you so close to the water?”

“There’s a dog over there. You go this way.”

“There’s a cliff ahead, and the wind is strong. Let’s change sides.”

……

Originally wanted to calm the mood, because Tsao Jang kept nagging, but I am more upset, see the edge of the cliff there is an old tree, potential against the root of the tree to rest.

Tsao Jang also followed, looked around, to make sure there is no danger to find a place not far from me to stand.

“Mrs. Tsai, let’s rest for a while and then go back.”

“Well, I’ll trouble you tonight.”

After a while, Tsao Zhang suddenly said to me, “Father has been looking for you for a long time these years. He has sent many people one after another, but there is no news. It is not easy to take you back. He told me not to lose.”

I understood that he was explaining, and I felt sorry for him.

Then how did you find out about me? All these years Liu Pao has not allowed news of the Han people in the king’s tent to get out. Once

my father asked an actor to play a piece of music, but no one had heard it. One of his subordinates said that he had heard it faintly when he was on a mission to the Huns, but it wasn’t the sound of the harp, and he didn’t know who played it. Father sent many spies to the Xiongnu and found out that King Zuoxian had a Han concubine named Cai. It was only then that he was sure it was you.

It was that time.

It was the time I played in despair beside the glacier, watching the motorcade of Han Shi leave, Liu Bao imprisoned me and told me never to go.

That song was the one I had not finished playing for Shige on the snowy night before I got married.

He knew it and always remembered it.

You.. Cried

I quickly wiped away my tears and stood up. “Let’s go back.”

Who knows, I got up too fast, and the branches under my feet were so rotten that they were empty. I stepped on them, and a hard thing plunged into my ankle. The pain made me exclaim.

“What’s the matter?”

Tsao Jang hurried over and saw my foot stuck in the root of the tree. He crouched down and checked it. When I tried to pull my foot out, he quickly said, “Don’t worry, I’ll do it!”

He took hold of my ankle, stuck the roots around it to the sides, and slowly pulled my ankle out. “It looks like it’s bleeding. Maybe it’s punctured by the gravel inside.”

I tried to step on the ground, but there was no sprain except for the pain in my ankle. “Then let’s go back and treat the wound.”

“Can you still walk?”

Should be able to.. Tsao Chang!

Tsao Jang did not wait for me to finish, directly bent me on the shoulder.

“What are you doing? Put me down!”

“Don’t worry, no one saw it.”

“You..” Do

I have to walk back with you? Then your feet will be useless.

“But this..” I was so angry that I didn’t know what to say. “Men and women are not close to each other, Tsao Chang!”

“I’m not afraid of being told.”

Tsao Chang walked very fast, almost three times as fast as he had come. When he got to the door, he put me down. “You go in first, and I’ll come back later.”

“Is the young general afraid of being seen now?”

“I say you are a troublesome woman, so I will go in with you and see who has a bad reputation.”

I could only catch my breath and then go inside. After two steps, I suddenly found that my sleeves were empty. “My short stick is missing. I may have left it on the road.”

“It’s just a short one. I’ll just buy another one later.”

“No, that’s different. I’m going to look for it.”

Seeing that I was about to turn around again, Tsao Jang was obviously angry. “Are you bored?”

I looked at him and did not speak.

He turned around in frustration and said as he walked, “I’m out of luck. You go back first and I’ll find it for you.”. Don’t follow me. If you do, I’ll carry you back to your room.

“Tsao Chang..”

“What now?”

“Thank you for your trouble. That short penis is really important.”

“All right, all right, I know. Cai Dacai, I’ll find it for you.”

I limped back to the house, and the maid boiled water to clean my wound and bandage it. Just as the moon was in the middle of the sky, there was a familiar short sound outside the courtyard.

“Who is this, who plays out of tune and out of tune..” The maid lay on her side on the couch, sleepy and confused, and murmured.

I opened the window and saw Tsao Jang in the middle of the yard, shaking his hand with my short cloak and coming towards me.

Through the window, he handed me the short stick. In

the moonlight he could see the sweat on his forehead. “Thank you,” I whispered.

He did not speak and turned away with an indifferent face.

The next day, according to the maid, Tsao Jang caught a cold and had a fever.

“What’s the matter? You’ve always been in good health, but lately this cold has come and gone.” The maid said as she helped me into the carriage. “Fortunately, I’ll be back soon. There are a lot of medicinal herbs in the house, so I can take good care of them.” After a few months of

walking, our party finally arrived in Yecheng. When I

arrived at the prime minister’s mansion, the maids took me to bathe and change my clothes, combed my fashionable hairstyle, and put on a newly made skirt. The person in the

bronze mirror is thin and haggard, like a flower withered on the flower branch. Following the outline, you may find the beauty of blooming at that moment, but it is still close to withering after all.

Here, I have an unprecedented sense of inferiority. When I

saw Shige’s figure in the mirror, the first thing that came to my mind was that

it was too late. The person in the

mirror is getting closer and closer, so close that the cruelty and fatigue between the eyebrows can be seen clearly, while the eyes I have remembered for many years are still shining like torches.

Yes, now he is the north XiongZhu, a person under the prime minister of Cao, holding the son of heaven to make governors, nature than empty have a cavity of blood Cao hide strong.

He took a few steps away from me and stopped. Seeing this, the attendants retired one after another, leaving me and him alone in the room. The man in the

mirror smiled and said, “When you see me, you don’t call me, and there are no rules as before.”

I stood up from the dressing stool and looked back at him. “Elder Martial Brother.”

Just called him, I can not say anything, more than 10 years between us, many things have not known how to speak.

He walked up to me, so close that I could see the golden dragon pattern on his collar and smell the wind and snow on his body. The

rough and calloused finger pulp brushed the corner of my eyes, and I realized that I had shed tears for a long time.

“It’s my fault. It took me so long to find you.”

If I were still the beautiful and proud Cai Zhaoji at the age of sixteen, I would hold him in my arms and ask him why he found me so late. I would cry in his arms without scruple and expose all my pain to him.

But it’s too late.

“I don’t blame you.”

“Is it really not strange?”

“I have no right to blame you.”

“Then I’ll make you eligible.”

My heart was in a panic, the person in front of me and the elder martial brother in my memory seemed to be different, but the time was too long, I couldn’t tell, so I could only say something to bypass the topic.

“You said you would take me to see Mrs. Ting. Do you still count?”

Cao Cao paused. “Do you want to see your sister?”

“I have a question for her.”

“What’s the problem? Tell me.”

No, I just want to talk to her. Can you take me to see her, Elder Martial Brother?

Cao Cao took hold of my hand, but it touched the place where my fingertips were deformed and purple because of frostbite. He wrapped his palm around it and spoke in a lower voice. “Okay, Zhaoji, I’ll take you there.”

He led me out, but I almost couldn’t keep up with him because of the speed. As I ran, I stepped on my skirt and stumbled. Then he slowed down his pace and told his attendant to “prepare the horse.”

When we reached the gate of the mansion, Cao Cao took the reins and mounted his horse, stretching out his hand to me again. Several people got out of the carriage outside the

mansion, including Tsao Jang, who was dressed in court clothes. When they saw Cao Cao on his horse, they saluted one after another, “Father!”

Cao Cao nodded.

Tsao Jang brothers also saw Cao Cao next to me, a few look with inquiry, let me some at a loss.

However, Cao Cao’s hand has been there, there is a kind of power that can not be refused.

“Zhaoji, come up.”

I could only stretch out my hand and be carried by him on the horse, sitting in front of him and being embraced like his possessions.

“Hold on tight.” Cao Cao said in my ear.

As soon as he raised his whip, he took me on horseback to find Mrs. Ding. Mrs.

Ding had a long neck and smooth shoulders, and when she sat in front of the loom, her side face was stained with the halo of candlelight, and she looked very gentle and smooth.

Cao Cao always called him “Sister.” Mrs. Ding was both his ex-wife and his cousin. The marriage was broken, but the family affection was still there. Perhaps for Cao Cao, it was the “Cousin Ding” who could not let go.

“Sister, I brought Zhaoji to see you.” The sound of the

loom stopped, and Mrs. Ding turned to look at me. Her hair was light, and even her eyelashes were light yellow, somewhat similar to Tsao Jang.

“Are you the daughter of the Tsai family?” I

only saw her for the first time, and I liked her very much when I heard her say the first word.

Because she called me lady, not Mrs. Cai.

“Yes, Mrs. Ting, just call me Zhaoji.”

“Zhaoji, come.”

She waved to me, and I went to her and sat down on my knees. She was old enough to be my mother, and naturally stroked my hair. Her hands were a little withered, like Mrs. Ding, who was old.

A long time ago Gilly said you wanted to see me, and that was.. It was more than ten years ago. You’re a little girl. What do you want to see me for?

“Elder Martial Brother, can you leave me alone with Mrs. Ting?”

Cao Cao closed the folding door for us, and his footsteps went away, and the attendants in the corridor stepped down one after another.

“Mrs. Ting, when I was in my teens, everyone in the capital praised you as a virtuous woman.” The corners of Mrs.

Ding’s mouth moved, as if she were laughing, or as if she were mocking something. “Now people in Yecheng also praise Mrs. Bian as a virtuous woman.”

I shook my head. “Every time Shige mentions you, his eyes become very different.”

“I see what you want to ask me.” Mrs.

Ding looked in the direction of the elder martial brother outside the door, through which she could not see anything, but her eyes became complicated. I was engaged to Geely when I was

very young, and I was probably.. Twelve years old.

“At that time he was still very young, and his hair was always tied up. When he fought with the younger brothers of the Xiahou family, he always rushed to the front. Every time he was brought back by his followers, his sisters would laugh at me and say, ‘Your little husband is fighting again.'”

“Every time he secretly changed his clothes and washed his face at my place before he dared to go home. I felt humiliated, but I was also angry that the Xiahou boys didn’t know what to do.”

“Zhaoji, it’s not all about love between a man and a woman, because it’s heavier than that.”

“Jili had a great ambition that I could go to even if there were thousands of people. Those people despised him for being born into a family of eunuchs, and they had to admire him for his enthusiasm and daring to think and do. All I wanted at that time was that this was my man, good or bad, and I wanted him not to worry about us women and children.”

I took care of my parents in my hometown and brought up my concubine Cao Ang with my own hands. I told Cao Ang that your father was a great hero of indomitable spirit.

But my Cao Ang died in battle to protect his great hero father, because of a woman, because of his inexplicable conceit and pride. Mrs.

Ting’s hands were clenched into fists, and her expression became painful. It seemed that just the memory was enough to set off a bloody storm of her emotions. In my life, I got everything I wanted when I was young, so I never thought about what to do if I lost it. Jili has changed. He’s gone from being my younger brother, who needs my care, to being my husband, from being a dandy young man on horseback to being a member of the Han family. He’s gradually come to a position where he can’t help himself, and he’s been blinded by a lot of glitz. He can only keep winning, and he can’t stop.

“But I have changed. When he was ten years old and hid in my room covered in mud, I would do anything for him. But now I will never forgive him.”

“My Tsao Ang is not the only thing that separates me from him.”

“What about you, Zhaoji? What’s the difference between you and him?”

My sweetheart is Cao Ahe, who, dressed in black clothes and with a blazing light in his eyes, wanted to render meritorious service to the country for the sake of thieves. He wanted to make a Marquis the general of the Western Expedition, and then inscribed the tomb saying, “The tomb of Cao Hou, the general of the Western Expedition in the Han Dynasty.”.

In the winter when I was sixteen years old, he was injured and could not finish listening to the music I played. He disappeared in the heavy snow.

Then he fought in the east and west, several times in the line of life and death;

then he built the overlord mansion, the army garrison;

then he served the emperor to command the princes, step by step to the position of prime minister.

Cai Gongfu, who thought he wanted to be a great Confucian, lost his father, husband and child, and spent twelve years in the Huns. It

was not until Mrs. Ding asked me that I realized that the winter when I frostbitten my fingers at the age of sixteen had never passed, and that it had been so cold all these years.

It turned out that my sweetheart had already died in that winter.

41

“If you had a choice, would you still marry Shige?”

“Zhaoji, most of the time we think that the choice is inevitable in that time and space. In fact, we never have a choice. I married Jili, I raised Cao Ang, Cao Ang died in battle, and I was separated from Jili because of Cao Ang’s death. It’s not up to me to choose.”

Yes, I was stupid again. Thank you, Mrs. Ting.

I pushed the door open, and Cao Cao was waiting for me not far away.

I slowly walk past, each step is so painful, admitting that the passage of time and the change of the world is a kind of irreparable pain, because everything has been unable to turn around.

“Elder Martial Brother, I have already asked what I want to know.”

I hugged him, listened to his heartbeat, smelled his body, and indulged myself for the last time with a brief hug.

Then I said to him, “Elder Martial Brother, shall we always be brothers and sisters?”

“Not good.”

Cao Cao pinched my face and asked me to look up at him. “That’s not what your eyes say.”. What did Sister say to you?

“She told me a lot of things about your relationship. She made me understand that if I marry you, I will be the second one, because she loves you very much, and so do I.”

“What kind of bullshit is that?”

“Yeah, what kind of bullshit is that..” Lady

Ting’s maid came out and saluted us. “Your excellency, madam, the carriage is ready. You can leave now.”

I pushed Cao Cao away, followed the maid to leave, and sat alone in the carriage back to the mansion.

That night, I closed the door of the guest courtyard, told the maid not to see anyone, and then drank a lot of wine.

When he was drunk, he took out a short string to play, no matter whether someone in the prime minister’s mansion could not sleep because of the noise.

Elder Martial Brother didn’t come. Later I heard that he didn’t go home at all that day. He stayed at Mrs. Ding’s residence.

It was probably a night when Mrs. Bian tossed and turned. Tsao Jang, as a child who loved his mother, climbed into my courtyard wall in the middle of the night and stood there like a black tower looking at me.

“You bite the hand that feeds you, Tsai Wen-chi!”

I ignored him and played the tune intermittently. Angry,

he came to me and was discovered by the maid. “Shut up!” He snapped! Have you forgotten whose slave you are?

The maid hid back in the house in fear.

“Have you been drinking?”

“Why, little yellow hair, do you want to drink too?”

“What did you call me?!”

“Little yellow hair..”

“Bold!”

“Don’t you call me’Two thousand and one ‘in private?” I looked up and drank the wine from the flagon, and the wine oozed down the skirt. I thought it was funny. I laughed for a while and looked at the skirt in a trance. “Little yellow hair, you don’t have to worry, Mrs. Ding won’t come back.” Your mother is also the mistress of the prime minister’s mansion.

“What kind of drunken madness are you?”

“Am I drunk?” I shook my head to wake myself up, but my head was so heavy that I couldn’t clear it. I’m a little drunk. Drunk.. When you’re drunk, you’re happy..

I took out the short tube again, but Tsao Jang grabbed it. “Why are you blowing like this? You’ll spit it in later. Do you still want this tube?” Although

I was confused, I felt that what he said was reasonable, and nodded repeatedly, “Yes, yes.” You keep it for me, thank you. Little yellow hair..

“Don’t you call me that!”

I looked at Tsao Jang, the heart suddenly thought of Xi Xiu, the child behind the silent protection of me. Why are

you crying again! I’m just holding it for you, and I’ll give it back to you when you wake up!

Just as the aggressive Tsao Jang confronted me, someone knocked on the small door of the courtyard, and a clear child’s voice came.

“Excuse me, did the music come from here just now? I would like to ask you to finish playing this piece.”

43

Forgetting who opened the door, Cao Chong, thin and pale in a thick fox skin cloak, groped into the yard in the dark and looked at me and Cao Zhang curiously.

Third Brother, you’re here too. Is this Miss Tsai’s son?

Tsao Chang grabbed Tsao Chong by the collar and was about to pull him out. “You’re still running around so late. Why don’t you go back to sleep?”

Tsao Chong, a small man, dodged nimbly and ran over to me. “Have you been drinking?” Before

I could answer, Tsao Chong added, “Since you can’t play..” My father gave me a good piano last month. Would you like to try it?

Again Tsao Chang tried to catch me, but Tsao Chong went on, “Third Brother, if you catch me again, I’ll tell my mother that you sold your concubine for a horse.”

Tsao Jang’s hand stopped in the air.

“I have some delicious fruit there. Sister, come with me.”

I was led by Cao Chong in a daze, and somehow Tsao Jang followed me.

Cao Chong is a small person, but the study is huge, filled with letters, calligraphy and paintings, a guqin on the piano shelf, beside which incense has been burned.

“I thought it was a lovely moonlight tonight. I wanted to play the lute, but I was interrupted by my sister’s music. Sister’s instrument is a beard, isn’t it? It’s interesting. I’ll have someone find one, too.” He took me to the guqin and said, “Although it’s not as good as my sister’s chiao-wei guqin, I can barely hear it. My sister will have a try.”

Along the way, most of the wine has been sober, just look at the study layout, we know that Cao Chong should be a very spoiled child.

Now that I had come, I did not refuse. I sat down in front of the piano stand and auditioned.

“Have the strings been changed?”

“That is, the musician’s skill is not good, and I have little strength, so I can’t adjust it back.” I tuned the strings as

I auditioned, and it didn’t take long.

“Awesome!”

Tsao Jang found a seat to sit down, conveniently took the maid to drink the fruit, Cao Chong to sit on his knees, staring eyes waiting for me to play the piano.

I had not touched the piano for many years, and my fingers seemed to be stiff. After a moment or so of movement, the sound of music was intermittent.

The moonlight was bright, I was playing the piano under the copper lamp, Cao Chong was sitting and listening, and Cao Zhang was drinking by himself. It was the first night after I came back that made people feel at ease.

Cao Cao stayed overnight at Lady Ding’s and went directly to Fu Si without coming back, while Cao Zhang and I stayed in Cao Chong’s study all night. The next day, before dawn, Lady Bian’s maid found me.

Tsao Chang did not know what his mother was going to do, but said to the maid who had come to pick me up, “Take care of Lady Tsai.”

“Yes, don’t worry, Third Master.”

Along the way, I was taken to Mrs. Bian’s residence.

Mrs. Bian’s dress was neither too simple, nor too gorgeous and luxurious. She was very dignified, but even when she was old, she could see that she was a charming woman with flowing eyes when she was young. When

she saw me for the first time, she asked me to sit beside her and asked me about my days in the Huns, sighing for what had happened to me.

I felt sorry for her, because my arrival stirred up waves in her noble and peaceful life, so she dressed me up again, changed me into a bright red skirt, put on a golden crown, re-applied makeup, and whitewashed my rough skin and wrinkles caused by wind and frost.

Then, she took me to the back garden to relax. The front yard was a literary meeting held by the second son. She asked people to copy the poems written in the front yard and comment with me. She introduced the participants to me one by one, including Confucian scholars, families and officers.

“Look at this character. The strokes are too sharp, and it’s not steady. After all, it’s young and vigorous.” Unexpectedly, Mrs. Bian, who was born as a musician, also had literary talent and had the same insight as a lady of an aristocratic family.

“I’ve heard that Tsai Kung’s Fei Bai Shu Zhaoji can do it, too. I wonder if you could show me?” I

didn’t take the stand of refusing. I wrote a few words on a makeshift table. Without asking me, Mrs. Bian asked the servants to take these words outside. “Show those people the flying white book of the Tsai family, so that they can also see it.”

I understood what she wanted to do, didn’t know what to say, and just sat there awkwardly, feeling like a monkey being tricked.

Not long after, there was a man’s cry in the front yard, like a slap in my face.

“Mrs. Bian, I’m not feeling well. Please allow me to go back first.”

“Don’t worry.” Mrs. Bian patted the back of my hand across the table. Her hand was soft and tender, like a teenage girl, in sharp contrast to my fingers, which were thick and deformed. “Zhaoji, you are the only daughter of Lord Tsai, and your children have withered away.”

“It is God’s will.”

“You’re still young. You still have a chance. The men in the front yard are young and talented. In my opinion, you should plan for your future.”

“Thank you, madam. I have no intention of remarrying.”

“When a woman lives in the world, she always has to rely on a man. If you don’t rely on this, you have to rely on that. You can’t rely on both sides.”

Not far away, the maids came with a man who said, “Madam, this is the leader of this meeting, Tuntian Duwei Dong Si.”

“My subordinate Dong Si has seen Mrs. Bian.”

“Young and promising, where are you from?”

“Madam Hui, the ancestral home of her subordinates is Chenliu.”

“Ah, I’m from the same hometown as Zhaoji.”

Mrs. Bian looked at me with a smile, but there was a chill in her eyes, with a warning. I couldn’t

stay any longer, so I got up to leave. “Mrs. Bian, I’m really not feeling well, so I have to leave.”

Without waiting for Mrs. Bian to speak, I almost ran away from there.

Maybe he ran too fast and bumped into someone at the corner. He felt black in front of his eyes and fell back. Fortunately, he was stopped.

“Tsai Wen-chi, why are you running?”

The golden crown was knocked away, and my hair fell off my shoulder. I was holding up my skirt as I went to pick it up. I was in a mess, but a big hand picked it up before me and handed it to me. “What’s the matter with you?”

I didn’t answer. “Please give this back to your mother. I’ll apologize to her another day.”

Mother, she.. Embarrassing you?

“No!” I denied it so quickly that I felt guilty. “Well, you’d better give me the gold crown and I’ll return it myself.”

“If my mother has done anything wrong, I apologize for her.”

I sighed lightly. “Tsao Chang, it’s my fault. It was I who disturbed your life.”

You.. And father..

I looked at him and motioned with my eyes not to ask.

Tsao Jang finally gave me the golden crown, and together with the golden crown, it was wrapped in a brocade handkerchief.

Mrs. Bian sent me a lot of things one after another, such as jewelry, beautiful brocade clothes, and many ancient books. Before Shige returned home, my small courtyard was almost full of things she sent. At the

family dinner, she asked me to go with her, but I still refused on the grounds that I was not feeling well.

The elder martial brother seemed to be very busy. He only came back for a meal and then went to deal with official business. I was relieved when he left, but I had to tell him if I wanted to leave.

Now it looks like I’m staying in the prime minister’s mansion.

Tsao Chong sneaked into my yard again and looked at the boxes piled up all over the yard. He opened them one by one with great interest and picked up a bolt of moon blue silk satin. “This looks nice. Shall I make a cloak with it?”.

Cao Chong’s eyes are very big, watery, long in that pale face, like all the aura, he looked at you with hope, no one can refuse.

“Well, how about embroidering a few clumps of green bamboo?”

“All right, and give me the black one, too, will you?”

“Will you make your clothes black?”

“I’ll take it to my father.” Dazed,

I smiled and shook my head. “No, don’t let him know.”

“Let him know what?” Cao Chong looked at me with an unfamiliar face.

“Cang Shu, this is a matter between us adults. You’re still young, so don’t get involved.”

Tsao Chong smiled as if what had just happened had never happened, and then said, “My sister wrote a book of flying white at the last literary meeting. Did you get it back?”

“No.”

“Maybe Mrs. Bian gave it to the head of the assembly. She’s always generous.” Cao Chong and

I looked at each other and smiled at each other. Cao Chong and I were very similar, so many words did not need to be explained, just a look will be clear to each other.

“I’ll send you your cloak when I’m ready. I have nothing to do now anyway.”

“That’s settled. I’ll wear it every day.”

“Well, go back. You’re not well. Don’t run around outside.” As soon as

Cao Chong left, Mrs. Bian’s reward came again. I couldn’t laugh any more. I took the initiative to find her.

Mrs. Bian was still smiling. “Zhaoji, don’t refuse. You’re alone now. Those things are my dowry for you.” As if

she had pointed, the smile on her lips froze. “But maybe it can also be a betrothal gift.”

“I’m going to find the prime minister and ask him to go back to his hometown alone.”

He doesn’t want you to be alone. Do you remember that young man Dong Si last time? His parents are gone, and he hasn’t married yet. He looks like you.

“I meant no offense, Mrs. Bian.”

“But you have offended.” I broke up

with Mrs. Bian on bad terms. I knew that if I stayed in Cao Fu for one more day, Mrs. Bian would be on tenterhooks for one more day. For her, I was already like a lump in her throat and had to pull it out.

In the evening, I blew the short wind again, and before long, Tsao Jang came.

“I don’t sleep at night, and I’m whimpering..” Though he was complaining, Tsao Jang climbed over the wall into the courtyard and asked me naturally, “What are you looking for me for?”

“Can you give your father a message for me? Tell him I want to see him.”

“What do you want with him?”

“Say goodbye to him.”

Farewell? Are you leaving?

“I want to go back to Chenliu.” Without thinking

, Tsao Chang said, “No way!”

“Why not?”

Do you know how chaotic it is outside now? In the countryside of Chenliu, you are a woman without family protection. What if something happens to you? Don’t forget that you were taken captive to the Huns on your way back to Ning alone.

“Little Huang Mao, I have to go. If something really happens, it’s probably my fate.”

“Cai Yan..”

Tsao Jang hesitated to speak and looked at me, his eyes full of.

“What’s wrong?”

“Marry me.”

“Are you kidding?”

“I’m not kidding. Look, I have soldiers to protect you. I’m the son of the prime minister, and I’m worthy of you. Although I don’t like what you’re talking about, I can buy you a big house in the future, and you can play the lute and play the lute..” I still have money. I can buy you a lot of books. I can also buy you the kind of guqin from Cao Chong. If I can’t buy it, I’ll grab it for you.

“Stop it!”

“Why don’t you let me talk?” Tsao Jang suddenly raised his voice. “You were saved by me. I’m your benefactor. I carried you back to Chen Liu’s old house. We have a close relationship. I have to be responsible for you. Yes, I have to be responsible for you..”

“Tsao Chang!”

Cao Zhang did not say, it seems that he also realized how turbulent and inexplicable the mood just came.

“You go out.”

Tsao Jang did not move. He breathed deeply and did not look away from my eyes.

“You hear me? It’s time for you to go.”

Cai Yan, I’m serious, you marry me, I.. I like you.

“Stop talking nonsense and go.”

Tsao Jang suddenly grabbed my hand and pressed it against his heart, as if to himself, “My heart has never pounded so fast.”

Then he let go of my hand and turned away.

The next day, people came and went in the courtyard outside, and there was a panic, and Mrs. Bian’s reward did not come again.

The maid said, “I heard that the third son was beaten by an adult.”

I saw Elder Martial Brother again. He was dressed in court clothes, noble and strange, as if he was far away from me.

“Tzu Wen said that he had fallen in love with a woman and wanted to marry her.” He played with the jade piece in his hand and said as if nothing had happened, “This is the first time I’ve hit him. He’s been a good boy since he was a child, and he’s the most obedient.”

“Elder Martial Brother, please let me go.”

“Don’t you dare!”

Cao Cao rushed in front of me, pinched my shoulder and let me get close to him. His eyes were burning with anger. “Why, why do you all want to go? Sister wants to go, and you want to go too. What kind of heinous person is Cao Cao?”? You’re all going to betray me! How can I be sorry for you? Ah

“Elder Martial Brother..”

He grabbed me all the way to the piano room and threw me in front of the piano table. “Aren’t you going to play the piano for me? Play!”! Or I will now.. Here

he stopped. He didn’t know what to do with me.

“Tsai Yen, you should have been mine. I forbid you to go.”

It’s too late! When I married Wei Ning, I found out that Wei Ning had bad feelings for his sister-in-law. When I had a miscarriage in front of Wei Ning’s mourning hall, why didn’t you come to pick me up? Elder Martial Brother. It’s too late.. You said you would take me away, but you didn’t come.

“I’ll make it up to you.”

I shook my head desperately, “You have so many concubines, so many sons, the prime minister’s mansion is so big, I can’t find my place..” You’ve already wronged Mrs. Ting. Do you still want to be sorry for them?

“These are all excuses!”

Yes, these are all excuses. I dare not approach you again, just because you are not what you used to be.

I like the Cao, is the Han, is a hero, he will not massacre, will not build overlord, more will not hurt his family..

But I can’t say these words.

“I love a man who is from my own country, and I want to marry him.”

“How dare you!”

“Elder Martial Brother, people can change.”

“Who is it? I killed him!”

“Then kill me too.”

“Zhaoji, are you telling the truth?”

I stood up, raised my hand and swore to heaven, “Every word is true. If there is any deception, the devil take the hindmost!”

Good.. OK

Three days later, Cao Cao ordered me to be betrothed to Tuntian Duwei, Chen Liu Dong Si.

47

“Sister won’t come back.”

“Not coming back.”

Cao Chong took the cloak I had made for him, his face paler than before, and he coughed a few times as he spoke.

“My sister is really beautiful in her wedding dress. She’s the most beautiful bride I’ve ever seen.”

“Cang Shu will marry a good-looking wife in the future.”

“I hope so.” Tsao Chong smiled. “Sister, when I think of all the pain in the world, I feel that even if I don’t live long, it’s not a loss. At least I know my sister.”

“Don’t say that.”

“They all said that I would not live to be an adult.” When Tsao Chong said this, he had already become calm, and seemed to accept the fact that he was not going to die soon. “We agreed that if I couldn’t go on, I would go to you, and then you must play another song for me.”

“Cang Shu..”

“Don’t cry. When you get married today, be beautiful.”

Cao Chong tried to stand on tiptoe to wipe my tears. Little people are serious in their eyes. It was at this time

that Tsao Jang climbed over the wall and entered.

His wound had not yet healed, and he was shaking a little when he walked, and his cheeks were sunken.

He was in the courtyard wall, I was in the corridor, separated by a whole courtyard, saw my wedding clothes, he smiled bitterly, “Cai Yan, when they said, I still don’t believe..”

“Third brother, if you really like your sister, you should wish her happiness.”

“What, you cut out my heart, and you want me to say thank you?” Once again,

I picked up the fan and walked out of the courtyard, saying, “Tsao Jang, you are still young. Later you will know that as long as you are alive, your heart will grow better.”. Promise me to live well.

Just as I was about to leave the courtyard, Tsao Jang suddenly asked me, “What if I die?”

“Don’t make me look down on you.”

Xi Niang helped me into the carriage, the same process, the same wedding banquet, so I married Dong Si. On the

wedding night, Dong Si was so drunk that I didn’t talk to him. I asked the servants to wait on him to change clothes and rest. I went to the study by myself. The servants of the

Dong Mansion were naturally divided into two groups. Dong Si and I seemed to be living together. We had nothing to do with each other.

I never bother him to take concubines, and he never bothers me. We don’t see each other all the year round. It’s much more comfortable than I thought.

I no longer touched the beard, because I always felt that when I blew the beard, a man would climb over the wall to find me.

I also stopped playing the piano, because Cao Chong said that when he couldn’t go on, he wanted me to play the piano for him, which seemed to be a bad omen.

I spent all my time sorting out and recalling my father’s collection of books in those years. In those ancient words, I found my long-lost peace.

It is hard to imagine that one day I will live in the same city with my elder martial brother, but we can live our own lives, without sorrow or joy, as if we were strangers.

I try not to let myself idle down, because idle down will think a lot, and my memories are mostly sad, not suitable for memory. Many of the servants of the

Dong Mansion also came from Chenliu and could talk to me about the local accent. Some of them remembered my father and escorted me back to sweep the grave several times. One day

two years later, the carriage of the prime minister’s mansion suddenly arrived. The woman in the carriage was dressed in beautiful clothes and had watery eyes as bright as those of the child. Unfortunately, her eyes were red and swollen from crying.

“Cang Shu wants to see you.” I

didn’t have time to change my clothes, so I picked up the piano and got into the carriage.

Dong Si had just returned to the mansion when he saw me in a hurry and saw the carriage of the prime minister’s mansion at the door. For the first time, he asked me, “Where are you going?”

“To see a friend.”

“I’ll take you there.”

“No, I’m in a hurry.”

Dong Si seldom talked so much to me, and when I openly refused in front of everyone, he no longer insisted, “OK, then I’ll pick you up.”

I didn’t have time to talk to him, so I hurried into Mrs. Huan’s car.

Cao Chong lay on the bed, the whole person is small, as if to disappear in the bedding. When he saw

me coming, he insisted that Mrs. Huan sit up with a cushion on his back. Everyone else

left, leaving only Cao Chong and me in the room.

“Sister, I miss you so much. How have you been these two years?”

“I’m fine.”

“Come a little closer.”

I sat down next to him and smiled at him. “I brought the harp and I’ll play it for you.”

“I want to talk to you.”

“Okay, let’s talk.”

I like my sister very much. I liked my sister when I was very, very young. Because I heard from my father that my sister was a child prodigy.

“Cang Shu is also a child prodigy.”

Yes, so I always feel.. And these people, these things, what is the separation. Because, can stand in a very high place to see them, their joys and sorrows, are caused by mediocrity, I actually. I don’t care.

“When my mother was sick, the maids would all cry around her, but I couldn’t cry. If I was sick, I could be cured, but crying was useless.”

“But I have to cry with them. It’s not good. It’s hypocritical.”

“When I heard my sister’s voice, it was the first time I couldn’t stop crying. I knew what it felt like to be sad.”

At that time, I was thinking, why is a person so sad? And how did I feel this sadness?

“Then I understood, because we were all alone.”

“It’s very lonely to live in this world..”

I held Cao Chong’s hands tightly, one big and one small, as if they were the strongest chains in the world.

Then my mother told me.. Cough. Sister’s story..

“All of a sudden I wanted to live a little longer, a little longer, because death is the easiest thing to do, and it’s very difficult to live. It’s in vain that I think I’m smart, but I just understand.” In a place like

the Huns, you just had a miscarriage, and.. Lose all.. Survived there, humiliated, trampled, flogged as goods, but you survived..

“I, Tsao Chong, ask myself if I can’t..”

“My life was boring because I had everything. I had family, wealth, power, and wisdom. I didn’t know what else I wanted.”

“I see strength of character in my sister..”

“Tsai Chao-chi is the strength of character in Chien-an.”

“I’m lucky to know my sister.”

Cao Chong stretched out his hands, I hugged him, his body is too thin, I like holding a weak breath of a kitten, can not feel his existence.

“Sister, do you think after many years, everyone will forget me? I died too early and left nothing behind.”

No, you are a genius, the brightest meteor in the world. You will shine in the history books, and everyone will imagine the light when you bloom. Also I patted him on the back. “Even if everyone forgets you, I’ll remember that there was once a lonely, honest boy named Cao Chong. He didn’t do anything bad, and he didn’t leave any regrets.”

“My sister really knows me best, and I’m very happy.” The sound of

the piano sounded, and the amazing child prodigy gradually lost his breath. When

I walked out of the prime minister’s mansion with the harp in my arms, Dong Si was waiting for me at the door.

He helped me into the carriage and made tea for me himself.

“You’ve been married to me for two years, and you’ve never played the piano.”

I don’t know why he suddenly said that, but I didn’t reply.

People all say that when you were seven years old, you knew the sound of broken strings, knew the rhythm of music, were good at calligraphy, and were intelligent and astute. But I always thought you were a statue made of stone, unable to laugh or cry.

Tung Si gave me a teacup. “But you can cry, and you can also play the lute.”

I didn’t answer. Look at him.

Mrs. Bian said that you appreciated my talent and were willing to marry me. I was very happy at that time. I was the head of the meeting that year, and I got your white book. I had it framed for you to read on your wedding night, but you just took one look at me and left without me.

“It turns out that Tsai Chao-chi, whom everyone praises, just treats me like a tool and throws me away when I’m done.”

“Don’t you think I’m ridiculous? I’m just the son of a petty official, who has neither a prominent family background nor a powerful position. Even a penniless garrison commander dares to think of the daughter of Cai Gong. It’s really beyond my ability.”

“My heart, you’re sick of even looking at it, aren’t you?”

Dong Si turned over his wrist and poured the cup of tea in front of me.

“Stop the car!”

Dong Si stopped the carriage, lifted the curtain and walked out.

“Dong Si, what are you going to do?”

“What can I do? I don’t want you to worry.”

I tried to grab him, but I only had time to grab his sleeve.

Dong Si opened the dagger in his sleeve directly with his backhand, cut his sleeve, and left quickly.

The driver didn’t know what to do. “Madam, this..”

I held the fragment of Dong Si’s sleeve in my hand, and my heart was full of guilt.

“Go back to the mansion first, then send someone to look for him.”

“Yes.”

But who knows, Dong Si left, disappeared for half a month, no one can find where he is.

Half a month later, he appeared in the mansion, drunk, insult Shangguan, and hurt people, things reported up, Shangguan anger, the prime minister directly ordered beheading. When I

heard the news, I had no time to change my clothes, so I found a horse and galloped to the prime minister’s mansion. The first snow of this winter fell

in Yecheng, and the streets were boundless.

I hate snowy days, all the tragic memories are in the snow, along the way I kept speeding up, thinking faster, faster. The gatekeeper of the

prime minister’s mansion wanted to stop me, but she happened to meet Mrs. Bian, who was dressed up. She knew the purpose of my visit, and when she saw me in a mess, she ordered the servants to let me go.

“Tsai Wen-chi, I remind you that your husband’s orders are always irrevocable.” “Why don’t you come into my room and tidy yourself up?” Said Mrs. Huan, who was standing beside

her.

Mrs. Bian glanced at Mrs. Huan, who hastily shut up.

“Thank you for your kindness.”

I almost ran outside the banquet hall and asked someone to inform Cao Cao.

It wasn’t long before the attendants invited me in.

My shoes had already fallen off in the gallop, so I went in barefoot. I straightened my back and walked step by step to the elder martial brother’s seat, kowtowing and apologizing.

“Tsai Wen-chi has seen the prime minister, and he has come here today to intercede for his husband, Dong Si, and ask the prime minister to agree.” The

hall was as warm as spring, but as soon as I appeared, everyone dared not speak any more, only to hear the wind outside, which added to the cold for no reason.

“Cai Yan, what are you doing?”

The prime minister, Cai Yan’s husband, Dong Si, insulted Shangguan, destroyed the government, and implicated his colleagues. Cai Yan knew that his crime was unforgivable. Wen-chi married Hedong WeiShi early, husband died and the son died, after not in the Huns, trapped for twelve years, the prime minister’s adult pity, eventually return home, but the people all died in the war, alone, lonely and helpless, thanks to the husband Dong Si don’t disrelish wen-chi remarry, no children for many years to treat each other, eventually get a tile, not scattered in the world. The prime minister’s adult pity my father cai childe withered and save cai Wenji, and how to kill Dong Si, Dong Si, cai Wenji eventually wandering between heaven and earth, the only death. Ask the prime minister for mercy, forgive Dong Si, Yan, and bow down!

I closed my eyes and touched the ground with my head, knowing in my heart that this worship would break my relationship with Elder Martial Brother.

Cao Cao did not speak for a long time, I also maintain the posture of worship.

No subordinate dares to speak at this time.

For a long time, I heard him say, “Cai Yan, my order has been issued.”

“There are thousands of good horses and countless warriors in the stables of the prime minister. Please leave Dong Si a life!”

All right, as you say. “Come and get back the order to kill Dong Si.”

“Yes!”

“Take the daughter of Tsai Kung to tidy up.”

I was led to the rear by my valet. I put on my shoes and socks, and arranged my hair. Seeing that I was out of my mind, the maid who dressed me said, “Don’t worry, madam. As soon as the prime minister gave the order, the third son rode after me. I’m sure I can catch up with him.”

It’s Tsao Jang.

The maid said in a low voice, “The third son was afraid that his wife would be worried, so he specially asked the maidservant to wait on him.”

I wanted the maid to thank him for me, but I felt I owed him so much that I didn’t know where to start. After

changing my clothes and tidying up, I went back to the main hall to thank him. Cao Cao asked me, “Tsai Gong’s family has a collection of thousands of books. I heard that you have a great memory. Can you still recall it now?”

I looked up at him. Elder Martial Brother’s eyes were clear. I suddenly saw the young man in Xuanyi again.

He was afraid that the world would criticize me, so he deliberately mentioned the collection of books and made a name for me.

My eyes were slightly hot. “Back to the prime minister, my father has a collection of more than four thousand volumes, which have been scattered over the years. Cai Yan is not talented, so he wrote down more than four hundred volumes.”

“I sent ten men to help you. Can you write them down?”

“I don’t need ten people. Please give me a pen and paper and give it to the prime minister today.”

“Well, Tsai Wen-chi’s talent is not inferior to that of a man. She deserves to be the daughter of the Duke of Tsai!”

Cao Cao sat very high and far away and praised him loudly.

I recall that on the day we first met many years ago, he also praised me in front of me:

“I heard Tsai Gong say that Zhaoji wants to be a great Confucian scholar in the world when she grows up. I have read your articles. You have the spirit of youth and heroism. You write well and have good aspirations. You are not inferior to men.”

I smiled, just as I had when I first met him that year. “Thank you, Prime Minister, for your praise.”

Thank you, Elder Martial Brother. In the

heavy snow, Tsao Jang appeared in front of me with Dong Si.

The two men came on horseback, with wind and snow on their hair and eyebrows.

Tsao Chang said, “I hope he’s really so important that it’s worth giving up your dignity for him.”

I made the mistake first, and naturally I have to bear the consequences. Tsao Chang..

Tsao Jang is a few steps away from me, but these few steps seem to be the distance between us forever, he will never come over, “Cai Wenji, don’t thank me, this is my voluntary, you don’t owe me.”

He turned and pointed his whip at Dong Si behind him. “Be nice to Cai Yan, or I’ll kill you and get her back. I’ll do what I say.” Then

he said to me, “I’m going, and you..” Take care of yourself

“Take care.”

Tsao Jang led the horse and left. That was the last time I saw him. I said goodbye to each other and took care of each other.

No regrets.

I walked up to Dong Si and looked him in the face. Before he spoke, I said, “I’m sorry, I was wrong.”

“Cai Yan..”

“I was so self-righteous that I trampled on your heart.”

“Once upon a time I had a friend who died young, and I promised her I would live her share, but I closed my heart and pretended I was still alive.”

“My heart isn’t dead yet. You’re right. I can still cry and laugh. As long as I’m alive, I’m still Tsai Chao-chi. As long as I’m alive, I should love, hate, and remember, instead of pretending I don’t care about anything.”

“I can play the lute, play the cymbal, write essays, and recite many ancient books. My Feibai book is very good. I’ll write it for you later.”

“Would you like to give me another chance, Dong Si?”

Dong Si took a step forward, but stopped again.

“Cai Yan, will you love me, too?”

“I will.”

Dong Si finally came to my side. As long as you have me in your eyes and some love for me, you don’t have to force it. I know you’re tired. Dong Si and

I embraced each other in the heavy snow, and I did not regret it, nor did I feel sad strangely.

Because I am still alive, because I still deserve to love and be loved.

Because I am Cai Zhaoji, the unique Cai Zhaoji in the world.