His white moonlight
came back when
I was pregnant.
In the pregnancy test arranged by his family, I was deceived to puncture the uterus and take out the amniotic fluid for paternity testing.
Later, the puncture was infected, the child was gone, and I was pushed into the operating room for rescue.
…… After my life
was out of danger, I finally met the father of the child, my fiance.
“Why not protect yourself?” His
eyes were scarlet and he shouted in a cold voice.
Probably just arrived from the white moonlight house, his fingertips still had the blackberry fragrance in her hair.
After receiving a phone call, Ji Tusheng rushed back from Shanghai and landed at 2:30 in the morning. On the way to the hospital, his car was speeding and he was stopped by the traffic police and got a ticket. While
waiting for processing, Ji Tusheng took out a cigarette, stuffed it into his mouth and spit it out.
Turning his hands trembling, he handed one to the traffic policeman who handled the matter, smiling ingratiatingly, and the corners of his mouth twitched unnaturally.
My fiancee is in the operating room. Would you please hurry? You can be fined any amount of money.
Ji Tusheng is God’s favored son. He has never learned how to be humble in the first half of his life. He is very astringent in asking for help and keeps the traffic police in place.
…… When he
arrived at the hospital, he was travel-stained and panting, chasing the nurse who pushed me out of the operating room and holding my sweaty hands tightly.
“It’s all right, Nan Nan. I’m back. I’m here.” I just passed the strength of
the anesthetic, and I couldn’t say a word because of the pain. With a calm face,
his mother forced his hand away, pulled him aside, and said three things in succession.
Chen Nan is pregnant.
Chen Nan had a miscarriage. The
child is not yours.
At one go, the reversal is constant.
Joy flashed through Ji Tusheng’s eyes, forming a pool of stagnant despair at will.
His face was darker than night.
“Impossible.” After
a long silence, he was firm and trembling.
How is it impossible? Look, the results of the hospital’s paternity test are right here.
His mother took out a piece of paper from the Hermes bag, which was written in black and white and could not be denied.
Ji Tusheng did not look at the paper, but looked at my traces that were about to disappear around the corner.
“Then the hospital has made a mistake. Go to another hospital and check again!”
He ordered calmly, as if he had been unswerving in the company. There was a flicker of panic on
his mother’s face, and she soon calmed down. There can be
no mistake, Tusheng. I know it’s hard for you to accept. But mom already said that you are not suitable for her, and she is not worthy of you. It’s all right to see her face before you get the license. After
a pause, she added, “Mother thinks that Xiao Fu is very good.”. Did you see her on this trip to Shanghai?
Oh, it turns out that everyone knows about Ji Tusheng’s so-called business trips, but under all sorts of pretexts.
Just me, while pregnant with his child, while being stupid.
Even as recently as a day ago, I wondered whether I would kiss him on the cheek or the forehead before I told him I was pregnant and twirled around in his arms.
Ten minutes later, Ji Tusheng came to the ward.
At the door, I heard him ask the nurse, “When should I take the painkiller? She’s afraid of pain.”. Can you give her some water..
Then he came in and closed the door.
Ji Tusheng gently grabbed my back face and held it to his side.
My face was full of tears, and he was wet and hot.
「…… Are you back from Shanghai? After
a long silence, I broke the silence with a hoarse voice. “What’s that smell?”
Ji Tu-sheng felt guilty and blinked his eyes twice.
“What’s that smell coming from?”
“Oh, I smelled it wrong.”
That’s right. How could it be wrong?
The smell was coming out of his fingertips, and it was ghostly into my brain, and it was disgusting.
That’s the perfume of Artisan Blackberry Muse.
This is not the first time I have smelled this.
Every year, a week before his birthday, there was a gift from San Francisco. That’s the smell of
those wrappers, which are carefully peeled off, folded neatly, arranged in order year by year, and stored in the bottom of Jitusheng’s desk.
It was signed by Fu Rou, his white moonlight. Of course,
I was afraid and worried, so I also expressed and made trouble.
Nannan, it’s impossible for me and her. She went to America for another man.
But Ji Tousheng only made light of it, pulled out the paper and stuffed it into the shredder as if he didn’t care.
“Would that make you feel better?”
Her smell was stirred to pieces, and I was calm for a moment.
Ji Tusheng took me into his arms and combed my hair carefully with his big hands.
Nannan, if you have any concerns, you can speak up. Nothing is more important than your feelings. Don’t forget, we’re going to get married and spend the rest of our lives together.
Now, I smell it again. What
I feel is extreme physiological discomfort.
I am sure that before coming to the hospital, his hands had also shuttled through Fu Rou’s hair.
As a matter of fact, he went to Shanghai to look for Fu Rou, which was revealed early in the morning, but I deliberately ignored it. One night
two weeks ago, the pregnancy test told me I was pregnant.
At this end, I was ecstatically thinking of the hundredth way to be happy with Jitusheng, and at that end, he called.
Without waiting for me to say, he spoke first.
Nan Nan, I have something urgent. I have to go to Shanghai on business. It may take about ten days. Can you stay at home alone?
I’ve never been good at turning him down for anything.
I was clever and virtuous: “Then I’ll pack your luggage for you. What time is your ticket tomorrow?”
「…… Don’t bother, Nan Nan.
Now I know that at that moment, he was also ashamed and cramped, eager to end the call quickly and suspend the suffering of conscience.
“I’m going straight from the office. I’m leaving tonight.”
It’s 23:47 at night.
Ji Tusheng hated to take the night plane, but he was happy to see Fu Rou one second earlier.
I hesitated to speak and finally swallowed the words back into my stomach.
Pregnancy is such an important happy event, I want to tell him face to face, in the idea of a hundred ways, the phone is the worst one.
It’s a pity that I didn’t think about it at that time. Maybe it was a bad thing to be pregnant with his child?
…… On the third day after
he left, I found Ji Tousheng’s errand on the Internet and bought markers and hydrogen balloons printed with Lingna Belle in Disney.
A balloon costs 100 yuan, and he bought 50, paying extra for running errands and Disney tickets.
Ji Tusheng seldom ordered takeout, so he forgot to log in my account. I didn’t think much of it
at that time, but later I realized what kind of thoughts he had in it.
Fu Rou came back from the United States and was quarantine in the hotel.
In fact, they haven’t seen each other in the past ten days.
So in order to get closer to her, Ji Tusheng painstakingly bought hydrogen balloons and went up to her window to form a dense one, with colorful and wonderful words written on it, printed on Lingna Belle’s smiling cheeks.
Some of them said, “The weather is fine today. After the quarantine, let’s go to Jing’an Temple for a walk.”
Some asked, “Are you hungry? What do you want for lunch?”
Another one: “On March 18, did you finally see Lingna Belle when you posted in your moments that you had broken the high-heeled shoes in the queue?”
It turns out that he is not a straight man who doesn’t understand amorous feelings, but disdains to be romantic to me.
I know this because before I entered the operating room in the afternoon, I devilishly searched the local real time in Shanghai on a blog and saw that this scene was photographed by passers-by.
The caption read: “How much does he love his girl?”
Ha, his girl.
I was so angry that my hands trembled and the nurse was startled when I took my blood pressure.
Thinking about this, my eyes began to get wet again.
I rolled over in pain so I wouldn’t face him.
“What’s the matter, Nan Nan? What’s wrong?”
He carefully supported my shaking shoulders.
“Last time I went to Disney, I said I wanted a balloon. Why didn’t you buy it for me?”
Ji Tusheng was severely sluggish.
“I like Linabel, too.”
He thought for a long time and was speechless, so he took offense as defense and asked me a series of questions.
“Nan-nan, why do you want to do amniocentesis?”
“Why not protect yourself?”
“Why didn’t you tell me you were pregnant?” After a long
pause, he buried his face in the palm of his hand and mumbled every word.
「…… Tell me the truth, Nan Nan. Is the child mine?
“It’s a dog’s.”
As soon as I waved my hand, I knocked over the shelf of the hanging water, as if I had exhausted all my strength.
4
Why?
I also want to know why.
Why is everything like this?
Also a few days ago, while Ji Tusheng was doing these things for Fu Rou, his mother found two bars of pregnancy test sticks in the trash can of Ji Tusheng and me.
Her face was blue and white, and she smiled stiffly.
“Ah, Nan-nan, my aunt knows a particularly good private hospital, so she can know even earlier whether the child is well or not. All the wives in our circle have their examinations there.”
She grabbed my hand and was too friendly to say anything.
Auntie wants you and the child you gave birth to to be well, and you must want to, too, right? Then next Monday, we’ll go and have a pregnancy test together, okay?
I shirked a few words, but was quickly deterred by her sinking face and commanding tone. I
thought I could live with my tail between my legs, but I didn’t know I was jumping into the fire.
I know. His mother always looked down on me.
Two months ago, Ji Tusheng proposed to me. When he led me back, his mother smashed two vases that added up to 50,000 yuan in front of me.
“Nan Nan, you have to know what’s good and what’s bad.”
His mother reiterated her “education” to me in earnest.
Our family is kind enough to support you and send you to college, not to let you climb the ladder and make you wishful thinking. Before I played with you, I didn’t agree to it, but now that it’s real, it’s even more impossible.
Looking back, his mother had long had a daughter-in-law in her eyes.
It’s like Fu Rou.
Gentle, intellectual, fluent in English, and most importantly, well-matched.
In order not to have a bigger conflict with his mother, I agreed to the proposal of pregnancy test.
But I didn’t want to. On the examination table, I saw a needle longer than my hand piercing my belly directly and penetrating deeply into the uterus. After the
black pain, I heard his mother holding the doctor outside the door, not shy.
“Just check what I said before to see if it’s our seed, and then see if it’s a boy.”
The doctor sighed helplessly. Mrs.
Ji, I can only help you this time with these violations. Also, pregnant women must be taken good care of. If you don’t do amniocentesis in the early stages of pregnancy, the risk of miscarriage is very high.
“Harm!” Ji Tusheng’s mother waved her hand with indifference.
“Just let it go. My son doesn’t care. What do I care?”
Later, as she wished.
I developed a severe infection. The
child was gone, and for some reason, there was an extra paternity test with a negative conclusion.
Actually, it’s not surprising.
When I learned that the director of the so-called high-end private hospital was the best friend of Jitusheng’s mother’s wife circle. Of course
I called the police.
But before I read the examination carefully, I was urged by his mother to sign the consent form, and the huge legal team behind the hospital doomed me to be powerless to fight. When
I was discharged from the hospital, my mother came from a small town overnight and took the initiative to use the card of the rural credit cooperative mixed with a few bills to settle the cost of the operation for me.
Not much money, not even a fraction of a vase smashed by his mother, not even half a month’s salary.
I heard the nurses say that Ji Tusheng was going to pay, but his mother broke his bank card.
My former “mother-in-law” still pointed at my nose and cursed me in front of the hospital bed, saying that I was sorry for the Ji family, and that even the money for the examination and paternity test in the private hospital should be returned to her.
And even if we break up and she goes to court, she’ll take it back.
I know what she’s doing.
The more you hate me, the more you don’t let me go, the more you can make Jitusheng believe that the results of the report are true, and thus break up with me. It’s better to hate me to the bone by the way, beyond redemption. Unable to
bear the criticism of all kinds of strangers, I went through the early discharge. On the way
out of the hospital, my mother supported me and moved in small steps.
Ji Tusheng followed, carefully reminding people who might bump into me.
Seeing that I ordered a special car on the software, he finally spoke.
Even if you only treat me as a driver, take my car. You’re too weak to catch a cold. I’ve already turned on the heated seat in the car.
I’m noncommittal.
The special car is coming. In winter, the windows are wide open and the wind is blowing.
Ji Tusheng grabbed my wrist.
“Nan-nan, don’t struggle with your body, okay?”
I want to smoke, but I can’t. For
the first time, he held it tightly. But the
mouth moved and could not make a sound until the driver stuck his head out impatiently.
“Are you going or not?”
“Nan Nan!”
Ji Tu-sheng summoned up his courage and called me, “These things are really too many, too fast, and too sudden.”. I understand that we all need time to calm down.. “But just calm down, not break up, right?”
He hesitated.
I turned my back to him, wiped my face, and walked a hundred meters away, sweating all over.
My mother opened the car door. “Get in the car, Nan Nan.”
She helped me up and turned around to give Ji Tousheng a big mouth.
I swear, that’s the loudest thing I’ve heard in days.
“Let go! Don’t touch my daughter again!”
My mother was born with hearing loss, a lot of work can not be done, for more than 10 years has been doing door-to-door cleaning for a living, pulling me to grow up alone.
She has been bowing and scraping to people all her life, but she can also hit people.
The slap came at a price.
My mother’s savings are meager, and my grandmother is seriously ill in bed. She comes to take care of me, but every afternoon she still has to work as a cleaning aunt to earn some money.
But one night, I heard her huddling in the cold wind on the balcony, talking on the phone one after another.
「…… It’s my fault. The cat hair under the sofa may not be cleaned up. I’ll give you your money back and clean it again tomorrow. Do you think it’s OK? Can you, don’t give me a bad review..
「…… What did you say? Sorry, my hearing is not good, can you please speak louder, I’m sorry, I’m really sorry to give you trouble..
「…… It’s really important to me. If you have a bad review, you won’t send me a bill. I also have a mother. If I don’t have a job, I don’t have money, and my mother can’t take medicine.
She made a lot of calls.
She didn’t know who the bad review that almost ruined her job came from, and she stubbornly tried to make up for it by being scolded as a neuropathy again and again.
I pulled her back to the bedroom from the balcony, resentful, angry and heartbroken.
What for? Is it because I don’t give you enough money every month? I work, and I make a lot of money. I don’t need you to do cleaning at all! As
I spoke and gestured, she interrupted me by hammering the bed in frustration.
Mom is a cripple. She can’t drag you down for the rest of your life. Nannan, in fact, it’s because of me that his mother doesn’t agree with you two. “I’m sorry, Nan Nan,”
she said, apologising gingerly. “Mom has humiliated you.”
I don’t know where to start explaining, but I can only hold her in my arms, and she cries like a child, like when I was a child.
Soon, I found the clue. Many of
my mother’s orders came from the same wealthy community, less than a kilometer away from Jitusheng’s home, which was full of her mother’s ladylike friends.
Ladies have money and leisure, fixed point my mother’s cleaning company, can always point to her, humiliate her. Like a game,
they spread cat hair all over the house, spill soup on the carpet, and then make her do the dirtiest work on her knees and give the most vicious negative comments.
If I say that before, I still had the slightest fantasy about Ji Tusheng.
At that moment, all of them were broken.
I know what his mother is thinking. Drive me away, sweep the city away, and avoid future trouble.
I turned on my cell phone and looked at the messages from Jitusheng these days.
I suddenly felt very funny.
Ask me “Are you feeling better?” “Are you sleeping?” “Where do you live? Can you come and deliver some milk?”.
The last one is: “The temperature has dropped. I have to send you some winter down jackets.”. Besides, Rongrong misses you very much.
Fluffy is the name of the kitten we raised together.
The news is so overwhelming that only today is absent.
Oh, I remember, today is Fu Rou’s birthday.
Delete one click, once and for all.
Seven years of chat records were erased without a second.
Some things should not be avoided any more.
Before that, I just wanted to break up with Ji Tusheng. I vowed to make them pay for
his mother’s continued injury and provocation to me and my mother.
It’s just, not yet, it’s going to take a little time to gather evidence.
The next morning, I went to the door to pick up the things left in Jitusheng’s house.
As a result, he opened the door with a key and saw a girl with a mask reclining on the sofa.
Caught off guard, it stung my eyes. “Ah Sheng,”
she said, “I don’t like that texture painting in the bedroom. Throw it away when you go out.” I painted
that picture. It
was painted two years ago, when the global pandemic was just beginning.
We just got together. Ji Tusheng is always very busy. He comes back very late every day. Once
I heard him on the phone and almost growled,
“It’s just a plane ticket. Is it so hard to get it?”? It’s been a whole week, and there are so many ways, but no news?
I don’t know anything about airline tickets, and I know I can’t help him.
So I drew a picture of a little plane in the sky. When he
received it, Ji Tusheng’s eyes were wet in a second.
I said, “We will fly together to every place you want to go.” It took me
a long time to learn that what he was trying to get was a ticket for Fu Rou to return home.
Later, the ticket was in hand, but Fu Rou did not come back. One night,
she ran into the quarantine ward in San Francisco without protection, in order to share the difficulties with her lover at that time.
How ridiculous.
It turns out that from the very beginning, everyone is humble and self-righteous in their own stories.
……
Half a day later, the voice of Ji Tusheng in the bedroom brought back my thoughts.
「…… Shio-rou, don’t think about that painting. It won’t work.
Ji Tusheng came out and saw the door open and I appeared at the door. There were mixed emotions in
his eyes, joy and sorrow, and it took him a long time to come to his senses.
“Come and get something?”
He opened his mouth for me, defining the purpose of my visit as if to prevent me from “having other motives.”.
Like getting back together.
But in fact, on the shoe rack beside me, the shoes that belonged to me had been thrown away. The girl on the
sofa finally got up, stepped on the new slippers and came over, holding out her hand, just like a hostess.
Nan Nan, right? I’m Fu Rou. I grew up with Ah Sheng, and I’ve often heard Ah Sheng mention you.
I ignored it, but my whole body was cold, stiff from head to foot, from heart to skin.
She paused deliberately and raised her profile playfully.
“I heard you’re a college student sponsored by his family. You know how to repay a debt of gratitude, and you’ve helped me take good care of him over the past few years.”
Ha! So I am the proof of his kindness and wealth.
“Shao-rou, don’t talk nonsense.”
Ji Tusheng stopped her, frowned forward and pushed aside her hand, walked up to me, and stopped me from meeting Fu Rou’s eyes. I’m joking
with you. Fu Rou has just returned to China and has no place to go, so she’s staying at our house for a few days. Are you all right, Nan Nan?
Us?
There is no half of our family here.
I looked around and said in a cold voice, “Where is Rong Rong?”
Chi Tu-sheng’s eyes darted away as he answered, “Fu Rou is allergic to cat hair, so he sent her away first.”
“Where did you send it?”
He secretly bit his lip, not a word, Fu Rou smiled slyly.
A bad feeling rushed into my mind. I rushed over and grabbed him by the collar. “Don’t you understand, Ji Tusheng?”? I asked you where you sent Rongrong!
Chen Nan, don’t do this. Don’t be mean to Ah Sheng. It’s all my fault. Two days ago, when I was smoking on the balcony, I opened the window, and the little wild cat ran away from the window by itself.
We live on the nineteenth floor.
The nineteenth floor. Why
on earth?
Why do the lives I see as my loved ones disappear one after another?
But in the eyes of others like dirt, understatement, not worth mentioning.
South and South.. Nannan, don’t be angry. Listen to me. I’ll buy you another one. Don’t you like Jinjila? Let’s go to choose in the afternoon, shall we? You’re not well, so you can’t get excited.. Can
‘t get excited? What is
he afraid of? Are you afraid of my body, or are you afraid that I will hurt Fu Rou?
At that moment, I don’t know where the strength came from. I broke away from Ji Tusheng and grabbed Fu Rou’s arm. My nails were almost embedded in her flesh.
Despite her petite body shouting all the way, I dragged her straight into the balcony. I
opened the window, grabbed her by the hair, and pushed her half out.
You said Rongrong herself ran away from here? Then you can show me how it runs and where it can go. We all know where
it can go.
Ji Tusheng is not a dead man.
He won’t let Fu Rou really get hurt. How gentle
he was, he hugged my waist, separated us, and even left Fu Rou enough space to fight back.
I got a solid kick from her in my lower abdomen, the part where I was pregnant with the child born in Jitu. Dissatisfied,
Fu Rou picked up the phone and said she wanted to call the police, saying that this was a premeditated murder and that I would be sentenced to the bottom of the prison.
Speaking of excitement, she raised her voice in English.
Until the phone is dialed.
Without waiting for the opposite side to pick it up, Ji Tusheng grabbed the mobile phone and smashed it on the floor. After a
loud noise, the screen cracked and went black.
“Have you had enough, Fu Jou?”
Ji Tusheng turned his back, took out a cigarette from his pocket and put it in his mouth. Before he lit it, he looked at me, thought of something, and stuffed it back.
“You go out first.”
Fu Rou stopped me bitterly: “Why should I let her go like this?”? She just told me..
I mean you go out, Fu Rou. You can go anywhere. Go out first. Don’t show up in front of her. Don’t hurt her.
She was stunned for a moment and looked at the familiar and strange man in front of her in disbelief.
“Ah Sheng..”
Don’t you understand? Who gave you permission to kick her! Now Get out and don’t make me say that word.
Which word?
“Roll”?
I stared at his sudden play with great interest, and even hoped that Fu Rou would continue to stand still here. I really wanted to hear how he could say the word.
But where can Fu Rou stand such anger.
All right, all right, I’ll go, Ji Tu-sheng, I’ll go. You told me to go. Don’t ask me to come back!
Ji Tusheng carried a trace of reluctance on his face.
He can’t look back, ha, how ridiculous, once he looks back and sees Fu Rou’s discomfited appearance, he will collapse. The
door closed with a bang, and the sound of high-heeled shoes faded away. We are the only two people left in
this family, as if nothing has changed, and everything is obviously different.
Ji Tusheng tried to pick me up, but as soon as his hands touched my waist, he got a strong slap from me.
This is the first time I hit him.
“Are you comfortable?”
He pushed his tongue against his flushed cheek, and his bangs fell down to hide the emotion in his eyes.
Ji Tu-sheng leaned forward slightly. “If this makes you feel better, you can..”
The voice did not fall, I raised my hand, the second, the third.
Hit the hand pain, I hold the windowsill, difficult to prop up the body, while enduring the pain of the lower abdomen, while walking to the door.
He also tried to help me, but I gave him a low “roll” to drink in place. What’s so difficult about
this word? Why can’t he say it to Fu Rou?
“Where are you going, Nan Nan?”
He won’t give up.
“I’m going home.”
“This is your home.”
“I don’t have any family here.”
“I am your relative, Nan Nan. You have accepted my proposal. We agreed to be together for the rest of our lives.”
I laughed: “You are not, Ji Tusheng, how dare you say so?”? Our kids are, and so is Fluffy. But dead, they’re all dead, they’re all killed by you and the people you love.
I also want to say that I even want to grab his hair and push him out of the window.
However, the sudden pain in my abdomen and the warm current that accompanied it interrupted my mood.
Blood, tick-tock.
Caught off guard, it ran down my thighs, dyed my white socks red, and wet the floor under my feet.
That used to be the place where I squatted and waited for me after work every day. As soon as
I entered the room, Rongrong was right here, circling around my legs.
But now, when I look down again, I can’t see anything except blood.
……
Later, I checked the surveillance in the living room, and I saw it clearly. All
this is because Fu Rou saw the message that Ji Tusheng sent me on her birthday.
Ji Tu-sheng said.. Besides, Rongrong misses you very much. Lying in his arms,
Fu Rou put her arm around his neck and asked, “Does Rongrong miss Chen Nan, or do you miss him?” When she couldn’t
get a response, Fu held her tongue and said, “Ah Sheng, she made me feel threatened.”
So, at night, she opened the window of the balcony and smeared the cat food she loved on the window edge.
“Ah Sheng, I forgot to close the window. It’s all my fault.”
The next morning, in the face of tragedy, she assumed a delicate posture, and the tears she squeezed out made Ji Tusheng’s heart melt. It’s not that
Ji Tusheng can’t understand her tricks, but he can’t bear to criticize her forever.
“It’s all right. It’s just that Rongrong is too naughty. He didn’t scratch you, did he?” Before I left
that day, I took advantage of Ji Tusheng’s inattention and silently took away the monitoring U disk.
Don’t worry, the debt you owe must be paid. In the 10th
quarter, Tousheng sent me to the hospital.
He works very steadily, but he always drives like a madman.
Just like that night when I came back from Shanghai, I wished I could step on the accelerator.
On the way, his mobile phone with navigation suddenly rang Fu Rou’s phone, and then hung up.
At that time, there was a tentative attempt to please, to make peace and to provoke.
Five minutes later, the second pass.
I tutted, and Ji Tusheng glanced at me and did not speak.
…… In the
familiar ward, the doctor said that I was recovering from the last miscarriage operation, and the abdomen was hit hard again, causing the rupture of the endometrium.
“There’s one more thing, Chen Nan. The results of the paternity test you commissioned our hospital to do with the embryo villi after your abortion came out.”
Ji Tusheng’s hand shook, the blade cut his fingertips, and the snow-white pear was dyed red.
At that time, after my amniocentesis accident, I was immediately sent to the hospital and pushed into the operating room.
His mother stared at me all the time, even checked my bill countless times, thinking that I was blinded by sadness and pain, and that everything was still in her hands.
But in fact, I confessed the paternity test before the anesthesia of the operation, and went to the outpatient clinic at my own expense to escape her surveillance.
Now, the results are in. When the
report was handed to me, Ji Tusheng wanted to take a look, but I dodged.
“I didn’t expect that. The baby really isn’t yours.”
I smiled lightly and folded the report sheet. How can
I describe Ji Tousheng at that moment? There must be some
loss.
But not as angry as I thought.
On the contrary, the pain is fleeting and superficial, and soon replaced by a face full of relief and solemn and stirring righteousness.
Yes, this is the answer he has been waiting for for a long time, even the answer he wants.
Because of this, he is free and stands on the moral high ground.
He no longer has to feel guilty, painful, self-reproach, even Fu Rou’s foot is out of thin air.
For the rest of his life, he could be with Fu Rou with a good conscience, loving and touching, without any taboos.
Everything is happy.
How nice.
Ji Tu-sheng, you’re about to burst out laughing. Are you happy? Is this what you want?
I looked disdainfully at the man in front of me, who had been my pursuit and my belief.
He used to be tall and strong, with the strongest arms and chest in the world.
But now, I just feel that he is small, mean and weak, weaker and more vulnerable than I am lying in bed.
“Yes, Ji Tu-sheng. If it really wasn’t yours, it would be great. It would be good for both of us.”
I threw the report in his face with a sneer.
Ji Tusheng opened it impatiently.
There was no accident. It was the child I had with Ji Tu.
That little, lost life is the child we have longed for together.
Ji Tusheng also smiled. He looked at the last line of the report, and even put the words “99.99% similarity” to the present. The more
he laughed, the louder his voice became, and he laughed and cried.
He held the paper in his hands, holding his bullshit tears, and murmured again and again in his mouth.
I’m sorry.. I’m sorry, baby.. I’m sorry, Nan Nan..
“If only I hadn’t gone to Shanghai, wouldn’t all this have happened..”
I just feel more cold.
He will be sorry, will be shocked, because he had more or less really believed the ***ing lies, believed the forged certificate. Whether
it was evasion or suspicion, he believed it. In the
11th
season, Tusheng never left the hospital. His delicate face was covered with beard residue and his eyes were bloodshot.
Fu Rou called him, and this time it rang for a long time. He didn’t pick it up
until the third call.
「…… Sheng, I can forgive you for what happened that day.
Without waiting for Fu Rou to finish, Ji Tu-sheng broke into a hoarse, tired voice: “When are you going back to San Francisco?”
“Huh?”
Fu Rou thought she had misheard, so Ji Tusheng repeated it to her.
“I asked you when you were going back to San Francisco.”
The head paused for a long time.
Her voice softened. “Ah Sheng, don’t make fun of me, okay?”? Don’t punish me with such a joke. I feel very sad when I hear it. When will you come back? I bought your favorite Crispy Durian Pastry and waited for you at your door.
“I haven’t eaten Crispy Durian Pastry for many years, and Nannan doesn’t like the taste.”
His voice was cold. “I don’t like it either.”. A lot of things I used to like, I don’t like anymore.
He finally did this to Fu Rou, more cruel than to me.
But I’m not happy at all. Instead, I have a kind of physiological nausea, which is a hundred times more disgusting than durian flavor.
Fu Rou did not give up. After the
phone hung up, she sent a dense message, which was a chat record after another.
A Sheng, I have changed five mobile phones in more than ten years, but I have never deleted one of our messages.
Those chat records are very old, some are three years ago, some are five years ago. Ji Tusheng stared at
one of them for a long time. When
we first got together, he happily told Fu Rou that he had got a ticket for her to fly back to China.
Fu Rou asked him, “Ah Sheng, why do you want me to come back so much?”? What am I to you?
He replied disgustedly: [Soul Chasing.]
[What about her?]
Ji Tusheng did not return, ten minutes later, Fu Rou sent one. Is
she your distraction? Is it?]
After a long time, Ji Tusheng finally agreed: [Hum.]
[That’s enough.]
Three years ago, the chat records appeared in front of me through time and space, carving flowers in my heart.
It was bloody and horrible, but it didn’t hurt at all.
Fu Rou also how all want not to understand, but is a thing to relieve boredom, how to fill the heart of Ji Tusheng.
I tilted my head and Ji Tousheng clicked the delete button.
He deleted the chat records that he had cherished so much, and also deleted the person that he had cherished so much. On the day
I was discharged from the hospital, Ji Tusheng came late.
He was holding a kitten, pointy ears, blue eyes, and fluffy.
Look, Nannan, I got Rongrong back. Come on, let’s go home with Rongrong.
I was in a trance for a moment and reached out to embrace him. He shrank up alertly and breathed at me. The long-lost light in
my eyes went out in an instant.
Withdraw your hands and hide behind your back. “It’s not Fluffy. Fluffy won’t come back.”
Ji Tusheng took great pains to draw water from a bamboo basket. What’s the use of
looking like again?
Leaving is sometimes forever, but regret is powerless.
Let’s get another cat, like before. When you are healthy, we will have another child, and he will be healthy and safe. I will always love you, and secondly I will love him.
I couldn’t help but roll my eyes. “You’re dreaming.”
……
On the way, Ji Tusheng feebly changed his ways to try to please him.
“Nannan, when you recover, we’ll go to Disney, OK?”
This man, who is habitually evasive and silent, has learned to speak on his own initiative.
“Not good.” Where do
you want to go? Do you still remember that texture painting? You drew a small plane, and when you gave it to me, you said that we would fly all over the world.
「……」 Unable to
wait for my answer, Ji Tusheng intends to try again, the more frustrated the more brave, indomitable.
Before I could say anything, I told him to stop.
“Stop talking, Ji Tu-sheng, and be quiet.”
We seem to have reversed our roles. Touching my icy stomach,
I said, “In the future, I will have a cat, I will have children, and I will have a warm and stable life.”. But all that has nothing to do with you.
He listened quietly, and when he heard “it doesn’t matter,” he put his foot on the accelerator and braked to the side of the road.
“I don’t agree.”
“Oh.” With a trembling voice,
he slammed the steering wheel in a circle. “Chen Nan, I said, I don’t agree!”.
“I owe you, Chen Nan. I owe you so much that I can never pay you back. I will never agree that you have nothing to do with me!”.
The cars have stopped. That’s where
our relationship ends.
“Ji Tu-sheng, do you know what’s the hardest thing for me?”
That was the last thing I wanted to say to him.
“The other day, you asked me if if you hadn’t gone to Shanghai, everything wouldn’t have happened and everything would have been better.”
I used to think the same thing, and I even blamed myself. I even thought it was all my fault that I didn’t tell you about the pregnancy earlier, which led to the bitter consequences. But now I’ve finally figured it out.
No, Ji Tu-sheng, it won’t get better. You are such a person, Fu Rou is an objective existence, and so is your family. Your affection for Fu Rou is a sin, but it’s not fair that I have to pay for your sins.
I opened the car door and walked down.
Looking up at the sky, a plane passed low, rumbling, covering the persistent detainment of Ji Tusheng behind him.
I compiled a video of what Fu Rou had done in the surveillance and posted it on the Internet, which soon triggered a heated debate. The address that
has everybody flesh to give Fu Rou and true identity, for a short while, she became the sinner that everybody cries to hit on the net, reputation is discredited.
At the same time, I sorted out all kinds of materials and handed them to my lawyer to formally prosecute the private hospital and Jitusheng’s mother.
Fortunately, I have deliberately kept a lot of evidence, photographs and recordings, which I have been painstakingly collecting these days.
The lawyer praised me for being sober and prudent, but he did not know what price I had paid for my ignorance and naivety. Before the
trial, Ji Tusheng’s mother fell out with her ladylike best friend, the director of the hospital.
The two of them passed the buck to each other and almost pulled the first flower in public.
To my surprise, this incident also exposed other discord in the Jitusheng family company, causing huge losses to the whole company.
His mother blamed everything on me, and when she couldn’t find me, she took it out on her son, accusing him of being blind and inviting the wolf into the house.
She took down the texture painting in Jitusheng’s home and smashed it on the ground.
The picture frame fell apart, and Ji Tusheng went to protect it. As they
pushed and shoved, his mother’s blood surged and she was sent to ICU for sudden cerebral infarction.
Ji Tusheng called me at this time. I thought he was asking for punishment, but he opened his mouth.
“Is that enough?”
“Enough of what?” What else
do you want to see me pay? You can say it all, and I’ll give it all to you. As long as you..
When we were still talking about the terms, I sneered, “Just drop the suit?”
“No.”
He sniffed, his voice gaunt, unlike that of the high-spirited playboy, “If only you can forgive me.”
“Forgive you, then what?”
“I want you back.”
He’s still dreaming.
Don’t play the drama of moving yourself, Ji Tu-sheng. A man who’s almost 30 years old, don’t pretend to be in love. Take care of your mother. Before I
hung up, I heard him shouting from the other end.
“Because Fu Rou is right, don’t worry, Fu Rou will leave.”
I don’t know what moves he used to persuade Fu Rou to go back to the United States.
But I know that Fu Rou is absolutely not reconciled. An hour before the
plane took off, she lingered in the hotel and refused to leave.
Ji Tusheng ordered people to pack her things, put them in the trunk of the car, and then put Fu Rou on the co-driver.
She wore a mask and a hat, and the accusations of killing kittens on the Internet extended to her life.
In order to catch the plane, Ji Tusheng drove the car very fast again.
I used to wonder why his driver’s license had not been revoked for such a person who did not obey the traffic rules.
“Ah Sheng, I don’t believe you don’t love me. I don’t believe you love anyone else. I want to hear you tell me.”
“I don’t love you.”
Ji Tusheng was resolute and unthinking.
“I don’t believe it, Ah Sheng. Look at me and say.” “I’m driving,”
he said impatiently.
Fu Rou went to pull his face: “I want you to look at me and say!”
They looked at each other for five seconds.
Five seconds, a van comes through. The
two cars were caught off guard and collided. The second the
accident happened, Ji Tu-sheng fulfilled her wish: “Fu Rou, I don’t love you anymore.”. I hate you, and I hate myself more.
There was a roar, the car turned over, and the gasoline dripped down with blood.
…… Fu’s hip and lower body were badly damaged in
the accident, and doctors said she would not be pregnant again.
Ji Tusheng is not much better. Somehow
, a pen I gave him rolled out of his pocket and plunged into his lower abdomen in the impact. When he
was rescued, he looked at his mother who was crying into tears. He took her hand and asked her sadly.
「…… Mom, did the needle poke into Nannan’s stomach like this? How painful she is. She’s most afraid of pain. How painful she must be.
Really like a cause and effect, no one ends well.
15
Jitusheng said he wanted to see me.
He thought that as long as he had a bad enough end, suffered enough crimes, it was natural to be forgiven. That’s
not how it works.
My lawsuit was decided, and while I was punished by law, the hospital and Jitusheng’s mother had to accompany me with a sum of money.
I returned it all to Ji Tusheng’s mother without receiving any money.
It was several times what they had paid for me to go to college, and I was grateful for this kindness.
After that, my life was back on track, and my mother finally listened to me and enjoyed her retirement life at home. The next time I
saw Ji Tusheng, it was downstairs in his house.
I went to visit a client in the same community, and when I came downstairs, I met a kitten hiding in the flower bed. When
I saw it, it came out.
It also had pointy ears and blue eyes, and it went around me in circles, one after another. As soon as
I squatted down, it went into my arms. So
I held it in my arms and never let go again.
I knew that not far behind me, Ji Tusheng was standing at this time. His face
was haggard, and he walked a little slowly, with a crooked turn.
He quietly followed me out of the neighborhood and watched me get into a car.
When I looked out of the car window, he seemed to be full of words and regrets, his lips moving and his throat swallowing.
Eventually, he waved and I waved.
We don’t say a word, that’s all. When the
car starts, we go in different directions, and there will be no intersection.
(The end of the full text)
Record No.: YXX1jKKJzdFxxxRKMOC9ldw
Beacon Fire Troubled Times, Love
in a Fallen City Xiao Qiao
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