The scapegoat
sighed: “He said to me,” If you confess for her, I will marry you, regardless of how overcast the sky was on
the day when the end of the song was over. ”
“Is it illegal for an imperial concubine to kill someone now?”
“Nonsense, she killed the queen!”
When I was sent to prison, my father said, “Is it worth it?” My
name is Bailixi. I am the emperor’s foster sister. I usually call each other as a cousin. I am also a relative of the emperor.
I have a sweetheart, his eyebrows are heroic, his eyes are long and narrow, and the light in his eyes has a breathtaking charm.
One look from him will sweep me off my feet and I will promise him anything.
So, when my sweetheart’s sweetheart, the pure imperial concubine of the present emperor, pushed the empress down with her own hands beside the pool in Imperial Garden, I, who was at the scene of the murder, could not stand his promise to marry me, and directly took the charge of murdering the mother of a country.
Now in this prison, waiting for the news of the Palace of Earthly Tranquility.
If the queen is alive, then I will marry Prince Zhou Ziyu in style.
If she dies, then I will.. It’s nothing!
But fortunately, even God was on my side, but one day I was released.
At that time, Zhou Ziyu was waiting for me at the gate of the Heaven Prison. His dark brocade robe was set off by his broad shoulders and narrow waist, and he looked more and more tall and straight.
To be honest, the color suits his age and character, but I don’t like it.
I like the feeling of being dressed in white, dashing and high-spirited. I used to talk to him when
he was my teacher, but he never listened to me. He always frowned and told me to read more and talk less. At that time,
I was still thinking that a man who was twenty-six years old and had not yet married a wife, although he was quite beautiful, but this unsmiling, aloof and arrogant character, could not find a wife. I didn’t know
until later that there were a lot of girls who were addicted to his beauty, but he closed his heart because of one person. Later
, because of his talent and recommendation by his father, he was appreciated by the emperor’s cousin and became Prince Shaofu. When I
learned of this, I had a big fight with them, but both my father and my cousin sighed and said to me, “Ah Xi, is it worth it?”
I began to run to the palace from time to time to pay my respects to the queen mother and the emperor’s sister-in-law. The purpose was to go around to the East Palace every time and leave the palace with Zhou Ziyu.
Later, I met his sweetheart, who was just a concubine at that time, sitting gently beside the emperor’s sister-in-law. She
is beautiful, but not beautiful.
It turned out that he liked such a gloomy beauty.
I began to follow suit, even if I didn’t get sick, I had nothing to do but cough twice with a veil.
He frowned and mocked me for imitating others.
He said that in addition to reincarnation, otherwise this life can not have a pure imperial concubine a little gentle, can only be a jumping horse monkey.
I was disappointed for a while, thinking that I was destined to have no fate with good-looking people in my life, so the opportunity came.
Pure imperial concubine is increasingly favored, after sealing the imperial concubine is to hit ambition in the face, I do not know what kind of wind, in the Imperial Garden of the pool directly pushed the imperial sister-in-law down.
I stared in amazement, but the next moment I jumped into the pool to save people.
In winter, the water in the pool was freezing cold, and when the imperial sister-in-law came up, the whole person was frozen to the wood. When
Zhou Ziyu came, he stared nervously at the imperial concubine and asked her if she was all right?
…… You’re blind!
I do not have the strength to see two people mutter, just waiting for the emperor cousin and the doctor to come over, hurriedly to convict the imperial concubine, I can go back to soak in a hot bath.
But before I could wait for the man who upholds justice to come, the man who confuses black and white came to me first. The reason given by
Zhou Ziyu makes me feel ridiculous.
He said that I was the cousin of the emperor, and my father was the king of the opposite sex who held the military power, so the royal family would not do anything to me just for one “carelessness.”?
“But Mian Mian..” Imperial Concubine Chun is different. She will be executed!
If you’re afraid of execution, why do you want to murder?
Looking at Zhou Ziyu’s worried face and the queen lying unconscious there, I gritted my teeth and agreed.
No way, he gave the temptation is too big!
It’s just that I was invited to the prison by the guards, and when I passed the initiator, the proud and arrogant expression on her face made me deeply angry.
I have been spoiled since I was a child, and I must make people who make me unhappy sad.
Even Zhou Ziyu’s sweetheart is not good.
Who let me have strong confidence!
But Zhou Ziyu personally sent me home and apologized to me earnestly for the pure imperial concubine in the carriage. When
he spoke, his long and narrow eyes were staring straight at me, and his eyes were full of concern for the man. All the anger in
my heart dissipated in an instant.
I took off all my strength and felt very bored.
I went home and was filled with ginger soup for a few days. The cold of my body was almost gone. I was a hero again! It was not the first time that
I climbed over the wall and slipped into Zhou Ziyu’s house on a dark and windy night, so he was not surprised to see me.
At that time, he was drinking alone, his face was slightly red, and he was obviously a little drunk.
I thought it would be better if he was confused and took the time to settle our marriage. If I get married
early and quickly, I can see the eyebrows and eyes that haunt me every day.
But before my abacus started, he took my hand in a confused way, unable to distinguish the person in front of him, and called out, “Mian Mian..”
That is the maiden name of the pure imperial concubine, not what he can call.
But instead of gagging him, I crouched down, looked at him from the bottom up, and asked in a low voice, “Do you like her so much?”
Zhou Ziyu sighed, another glass of liquor.
His eyes are a little red, he holds my hand more and more strength, he is unwilling to say his heartache.
He went to the East Palace today and met the emperor and the pure imperial concubine who visited the prince. The three people
standing there are like a beautiful picture of a loving father, a filial son and a virtuous mother.
But Zhou Ziyu hung his head and stood aside, not even an outsider, but a servant.
This kind of love but not the mood, I understand!
I raised my hand to touch the end of his eyes and said softly, “Chou Tzu-yu, shall I be her stand-in?”
“Will you look at me in the future?”
My voice was dark and hoarse, as if I were seducing his vague will.
He gave a faint “hum,” and then touched my forehead, and the cold breath of his whole body made me frown.
He must not like sugar, and there is no sweet taste at all.
I didn’t come back all night, and I was so tired that my waist and legs ached.
But the culprit slept soundly and sweetly, even pulling one of my fingers and refusing to let me go.
I sat on the edge of the bed with a terrible black eye, like a big enemy, thinking about how to get some advantage from him later.
Zhou Ziyu opened his eyes and saw me so dark that he was really shocked.
When he stepped back, he found that he was still holding my finger, and his face was even more unnatural.
I guessed what had happened last night, and he remembered a little, so he said, “Sir, last night was really..” Brave!
I deliberately lowered my head to make a shy gesture and watched his reaction in the dark.
He frowned at me for a long time, and his expression was always confused, but finally he sighed, with the unique huskiness of a hangover, “I remember everything.”
Then why didn’t you say so!
I raised my eyebrows and held out my hand to him. “What are you doing?” Chou Tzu-yu asked, somewhat puzzled.
“Ask for benefits!”
I exulted and talked vividly about my mental journey last night. He was so drunk
last night that he touched my forehead with tenderness.
I thought he was moved by my sincerity and would be a stand-in for him all the time.
But he beat me first. One of his
“hiccups” almost didn’t make me throw up.
I covered my nose and backed away until I was a safe distance away.
Chou Tzu-yu shook in a daze for a long time, and finally, the moment he reached the bedside, he said, “I vomited!”
One bed!
「yue！」 I’m still very sick when I
think about it. Chou Tzu-yu’s face in the
bed was not awkward enough to describe. He blushed for a long time and then said unnaturally, “Then what benefits do you want?”? The bed was made by the servants.
“That’s not true, sir!” I wagged my finger, then suddenly got into bed and leaned close to him, whispering, “If I hadn’t called them, I wouldn’t have done anything!”
We looked at each other and thought of the horrible consequences.
There was a chill, and both of them shivered together.
Because of this drunkenness, I felt that Zhou Ziyu’s attitude towards me had changed a little.
He no longer repels me so much, and he will not be as cold as before when I go to his house for a meal.
I pretended that it was too dark, and when he sent me home, he accepted it with pleasure, and when there were many people, he stood on the outside of me thoughtfully.
What’s more, he gave me a pearl hairpin on the day of the Little New Year, saying that it was the favorite style of the little daughters nowadays.
He put it on himself for me, looked at it for a long time, and then said, “It’s beautiful.” The corners of
my mouth curved in the right way, smiling gently and smilingly.
But at night, when I was combing my hair in front of the mirror, I murmured, “Who looks good?”
Is it the pearl hairpin or me?
Zhou Ziyu now really regards me as a substitute, and my weakness reminds him of the one in the palace.
But my father is a general, I have a temper like him, where will be afraid of the dark?
His gratuitous gallantry today is only because of the birthday of his sweetheart!
I didn’t know for a moment which of us was more pathetic.
Is he watching his sweetheart sitting in a high position, charming with others, or mine. Go your own way.
My father found me again, and he forbade me to contact Zhou Ziyu again.
He was a man with big arms and a round waist. With a pleading look on his face, he discussed with me, “Xi’er, will you let yourself go, OK?”
Not good! Zhou Ziyu and
I maintained each other’s self-deception, spent the New Year and ushered in a brilliant spring.
The treasury is abundant, the people live in peace, the emperor is happy, this year’s spring hunting is extremely rich. When
I appeared in front of Zhou Ziyu riding a tall horse in a strong suit, he was obviously stunned.
In the past few months, I have been wearing pink, aqua blue and orange dresses.
At this time of the black, probably so that he can not find the feeling of a substitute.
Blame me!
He opened his mouth to say something when he was interrupted by a voice behind him.
“Hsi, how about a competition with me?”
The emperor’s cousin watched me grow up, and he knows everything about me.
He respects Zhou Ziyu’s talent and learning, but he doesn’t like me to be too close to him.
The emperor ignored Zhou Ziyu’s salute, which I knew was an expression of his dissatisfaction.
But I don’t care. Thunder, rain and dew are all the grace of heaven. What’s more, it’s just a little ignoring.
I raised the bow and arrow in my hand and replied in a loud voice, “Let’s compete. If Xi’er wins, the emperor will promise me one thing!”
“Ha ha, you girl!” He patted me on the head and doted on me as before. When was the
last time the emperor’s cousin looked at me like that?
Still There was a sudden pain in
my heart, and I quickly lowered my head to push back the severe wetness.
He probably thought of something, sighed low, and then withdrew his hand.
The air was still for a long time, and when I looked up again, I saw Zhou Ziyu’s probing eyes and the jealous color of the pure imperial concubine gnashing her teeth.
I know they misunderstood.
What a pair of dirty people!
Because of the change of mood just now, I don’t want to please anyone at this time. Would it not be happier to
turn over and mount a horse and gallop in the forest hunting ground!
But somehow, the emperor’s cousin also called Zhou Ziyu and An Guifei to go together.
I had a good harvest today. I shot the prey again and again. Finally, my cousin gave up and stopped.
As they walked back, Zhou Ziyu walked side by side with me. He was not in high spirits all the time, and his eyebrows and eyes were full of melancholy. Naturally,
I couldn’t stand the endless sadness in my bright eyes, so I leaned over and whispered to him, “Sir, aren’t you happy today?”? How about I give all I hunt to the master?
Chou Tzu-yu looked down and wondered what he was thinking. When he heard this, he looked at me. After a few breaths, he asked slowly, “Are you very happy today?”
“Mmm!” I nodded heavily. I’ve had a stone in my heart for
the past few years, and I can’t breathe.
Today, it is rare to run wild, and it is also a moment of relaxation.
But Chou Tzu-yu misunderstood what I meant. He looked up at the back of the emperor and the imperial concubine, and then inexplicably asked, “Don’t you like me?” I was stunned by
his blunt words, but my horse was frightened by the sudden appearance of the man in black. The appearance of an assassin in the
Royal Hunting Ground is simply a provocation to the grace of heaven. Before
I could react, the guards around me solved most of the problem in a quarter of an hour.
I stared blankly at the river of blood on the ground, and suddenly felt dizzy, as if I was going to fall from a horse in a trance.
Chou Tzu-yu’s eyes, which had always been calm, now looked at me in some confusion. He dismounted and stood by my leg, looking at me from top to bottom, and said, “Don’t be afraid!”
An indescribable emotion rushed to my heart, and my sweetheart spoke softly to me with such tender eyebrows and tender voice, which I could not ask for even in my dream.
Perhaps my face was too pale, and Chou Tzu-yu, who was beside me, hugged me down in a panic and whispered in my ear, “Don’t be afraid, I’m here!” Are
you really here?
Will you always be with me?
Zhou Ziyu helped me walk to the back of the emperor and the pure imperial concubine. I clearly heard the woman’s sarcastic cold hum and felt the man beside me stiff.
It turned out that he still cared about her.
I was so distracted that my body’s sensitivity dropped sharply, but when an assassin who was not dead suddenly got up and rushed over, I was more than enough to deal with him. It is true that a friend
in need is a friend indeed. In the
face of danger, Zhou Ziyu and I shot at the same time, but I protected all three of them behind me and killed the assassin with one sword.
And he.. Protect the pure imperial concubine.
I immediately looked at my cousin, who was also looking at me.
He has been an emperor for many years, and serious deterrence is common, but at the moment there is a trace of heartache and ruthlessness.
I know what he means, but I’m scared.
I bent my legs and knelt on the ground, and the meaning of serious pleading was obvious.
He frowned at me for a moment, then left in a huff, leaving only one sentence: “Is it worth it, Hsi?”
I closed my eyes fiercely and collapsed on the ground.
Ask me if it’s worth it?
Why is it not worth it!
Because of the assassination, the spring hunt ended hastily. Although
Zhou Ziyu saved the pure imperial concubine at the critical moment, he seemed to be more and more different to me. It seems that
he no longer simply treats me as a substitute for boredom.
He began to put on bright clothes and began to taste sweet snacks with me.
He would collect rare swords and give them to me, and even remember my birthday and drink with me. In the
dark and windy night, they were a little drunk, and their words were so vague that they could not hear clearly.
Chou Tzu-yu suddenly leaned close and said in a low voice, “Xi..” Son, shall I call you that again?
His words struck my cochlea word by word, which made me tinnitus.
I stared at him for a long time, then stretched out my fingers and gently outlined his eyebrows and eyes.
His eyes darkened, his thin lips pursed, and his Adam’s apple rolled up and down.
His bright eyes are full of my reflection at this time. “Do you like me?” I asked him in a whisper
as if I was afraid of disturbing the moon.
“Yes, I do.”
His face slowly zoomed in until he was so close to me that, as if afraid I hadn’t heard clearly, he repeated, “Xi’er, I like you!”
“I like you too..”
I had a dream that the boy dressed in white and flying freely came back!
His eyebrows are heroic, his eyes are long and narrow, and the light in his eyes has a breathtaking charm.
He’s actually two years older than me. I should call him cousin, but he never lets me. I never call him. When
he was 18 years old, he followed his father to the border to fight. The night before he left, he said to me, “Hsi, when I come back from a successful battle, I’ll ask my brother to marry me!”.
“When the time comes, ten miles of red makeup will make Hsi Er the most extravagant bride!” When
he said this, his smile was brilliant, his eyes were full of stars, and he yearned for the desert of yellow sand and the boundless battlefield.
He wants to be a general to protect the people, which is his dream.
I helped him, and so did the emperor’s cousin. At the time of
departure, I stood on the high wall, looking at the little general wearing armor and riding a horse, and I felt proud of the emperor’s cousin.
But no one has ever told us that parting is a lifetime. On the day of the
army’s triumphant return, the sky was overcast, and the people lined the streets, but there was no atmosphere of celebration.
I stood under the hall all white, and the emperor’s cousin beside me held my wrist all the time, so strong that even the knuckles were white.
The palace gate was wide open, and the troops were approaching bit by bit. My father was the first to bear the brunt, and behind him was a black coffin carried by many soldiers.
My body trembled badly, and my despair burst out in an instant. I broke away from the emperor’s cousin’s hand and rushed to the young man I was thinking about.
I pushed aside the crowd and tried to push the heavy lid of the coffin, but my father hugged me from behind.
“Hsi, don’t look, don’t look!”
Father’s voice, which had always been full of energy, was as hoarse and pleading as if he had aged ten years.
I waved my hands and feet without any rules in order to break away from my father’s arms, but my strength was not enough to fight against him. After
a long, fruitless pause, I slowly looked up at my father and whispered to him, “Dad, I want to see him.”
“Please, let me see him again, will you?”
I looked at him for a long time, and this man, who had fought on the battlefield for half a lifetime, was defeated with tears in his eyes. OK The
lid of the coffin was slowly pushed open by the soldiers, and everything seemed to be in slow motion, but after a few breaths, it seemed that we had known each other for sixteen years.
I stepped forward to take another good look at the young man I was pleased with, but the only thing I wanted was a silver armor.
I stared at my father. “Where is he?”
The corpse.. I fell off a cliff and couldn’t find it. The words that
came to my ears, like huge thunder, made my brain explode with a “boom.”.
My breathing gradually became rapid, and I had a feeling of being on the verge of suffocation.
I stretched out my hand to touch the cold armor and whispered softly, “Ah.”
There was no response, even the wind was still.
No, there’s nothing left. There is no such young man as “Ah Ma” in
the world.
No one will accompany me to play with knives and guns, will accompany me to climb trees and walls, and will accompany me to fool around in the palace.
No one will Lunar New Year’s Eve, holding my hand to the highest wall, to see the prosperity of the capital, to see the bright fireworks.
No one would ask me sourly, “Don’t you like me?” When I praised the emperor’s cousin for his mastery of everything.
And no one would whisper in my ear, “I like you, Xi’er.”
The young man who was devoted to the country and the people and said he wanted to assist his brother, the young man who said he wanted to marry me home after winning the battle, was no longer there.
He stayed at the border forever, at the best age of eighteen.
He was a real imperial relative. The emperor’s cousin had been close to him since he was a child, and now he died in battle. The standard of the funeral was like a national mourning.
When all the dust settled, I stood in front of his mausoleum and stared blankly, my mind blank.
The emperor’s cousin patted me on the head from behind. His voice was very soft. I don’t know whether he said it to me or to himself. “We’re all fine. Don’t let him worry.”
Uh. When
I woke up from this dream of an old friend, my pillow was mostly wet. The gauze curtain on the top of
my head and the man beside the table all made me in a trance for a moment.
It seems that I have been a dream for two years, and he is still alive.
He’s still here.
“The princess is awake.” The
man’s voice is cold, not the dream of Lang Lang.
Yeah, I’m awake. When
dreams wake up, people wake up.
7
“Who is the old man you have been calling for all night?”
In fact, I don’t blame Zhou Ziyu for not knowing that he was born in a poor family, and that his family used to have a hard time solving the problem of food and clothing. Even if he studied, he was a poor scholar.
Who cares about the name of the prince.
But Zhou Ziyu is also a temperament, even if his appearance is very good, many merchant women are happy with him, he also refused one by one.
He had been waiting for his childhood sweetheart, thinking that when she left the palace at the age of 25, they would be able to tie the knot and become a poor couple.
But he met me.
Or, God’s mercy, let me meet him.
In the second year after he left, I was depressed all day long, and my sister-in-law often told me to go to the palace to amuse me with some new things to pay tribute to the Western Regions. The sun was very strong
that day, and when I walked out of the palace gate, I just glanced at it and stopped.
The man dressed in cloth looks very similar to the young man in my heart.
However, he is more calm and cool.
He was waiting for the sweetheart whom he could only see once a year, but unfortunately she became the emperor’s woman that year.
I couldn’t hold my breath for almost a moment. I forced a smile on my face for a year, and I couldn’t pretend at this moment. Despite everyone’s dissuasion,
I took him as a stand-in.
Even if I deceive myself and others for a lifetime, even if I use power to imprison him, I still want him. Everyone told me again
and again, “Hsi, is it worth it?”
“Chou Tzu-yu is not your old man!”
But I just miss him so much, I just want to see him for the last time.
I raised my hand to wipe the tears from my eyes, looked at the man at the table, and replied word by word, “Ah Ma is my sweetheart, the one who wants to make contributions and marry me as a princess.”
Chou Tzu-yu’s face was instantly livid at my words. He walked up to me, put his hands on my shoulders, and asked angrily, “Then who am I?”
“Someone who looks like him.”
He stared at me for a long time, and his face gradually darkened, and finally turned pale. When
he spoke again, his voice murmured, whether to me or to himself, “At the end of the day, I’m just a substitute.”
I gazed at him, vaguely puzzled and vaguely understood the unwillingness in his tone. To this day,
I still can’t see the sadness in those eyes. “Don’t be sad, I’m a substitute, too!”
This is the greatest comfort I can give him.
He’s not him after all, so when he wants me to go to prison, I’m not sad. I’m not sad
when he treats me like someone else.
Even when he laid down his life to save others, I felt it was normal.
Only the son of heaven deterrence, I am afraid he has no life to accompany me to go on.
To put it bluntly, all I want is to look the same as before!
Zhou Ziyu stumbled when he left, and I probably guessed that I was no longer a stand-in for him.
I am a little embarrassed, I only hope that we will always be simple together, not to be sincere, only to accompany.
So I didn’t go to him. I wanted him to figure it out.
Eventually I won, and he did come to me.
But I also lost, because he came with his heart.
“Xi’er, don’t go to war. There are so many men in Daliang. Why do you want a woman to go to war?”
“Hsi, will you marry me?” After only three or four years of
silence, the subservient foreign countries began to provoke repeatedly, and the people on the border were on tenterhooks. When
the news came to the capital, I went over my father and faced the saint directly, asking to go to war, even if I was a nobody.
The emperor’s cousin refused directly and scolded me for fooling around. Kneeling in the hall,
I couldn’t see the man sitting on the high seat clearly. I only asked him, “Cousin, don’t you want to know where he has been?”
“Don’t you want to know how magnificent the boundless battlefield is in the desert of yellow sand that he yearns for?”
I don’t want to have a look. The cliff where he fell? The
air is filled with silence and sadness, desolation and memories. It was
a long time before I heard him whisper, “But I’m afraid you won’t come back either.”
“I’m afraid he’ll fall asleep and blame me for not taking good care of you.”
At this moment, he did not call himself me, like the prince many years ago, always protecting me and Ah.
“Cousin, I want to go and have a look. I want to protect the territory of Daliang for him.”
「…… OK
“Remember to come back.”
I kowtowed heavily, which was a thank you and a farewell.
Persuading the father is a tough battle, if persuading the emperor cousin is moved by affection, then the father has no other way but to threaten.
In the end, he compromised. Zhou Ziyu and I hadn’t seen each other for about half a month when
the list came out.
He came hurriedly, his usual composure completely absent.
He dragged me out of proportion and asked me if I could not go to the border and if I could marry him.
I looked down at the two hands holding each other, thinking that if he had said such a thing to me last year, I would have accepted it with pleasure.
But now..
“Sir,” I said calmly, “I’m sorry I used to use you as a substitute.”
“But I think we take what we need from each other.”
I want his eyebrows and eyes to miss the old friend, because I step to the sky, he became the new rich in Beijing, but also often see his sweetheart.
It’s just that he’s not single-minded enough.
But I have always been fickle, and I used to say that the only love I had in my life was given to him.
I pulled my hand out forcefully and firmly refused Zhou Ziyu. I didn’t touch the end of
his scarlet eyes this time, but told him, “I’m going to go the way he went.”
“Sir, this is goodbye. I’ll see you in the future. I don’t know when.”
“Will you come back?”
“That depends on Xi’er’s fate.”
If you have a life, you will not return.
The boundless horizon is accompanied by him.
On the day of his departure, the emperor’s cousin still stood on the high wall, encouraging all the soldiers to practice.
But this time, I changed my armor and looked up. When
I turned my horse around, I saw Zhou Ziyu under the city wall.
Across the sea of people, facing each other in the distance.
It suddenly occurred to me that he had climbed over the wall to look for me yesterday, just as I had gone to his house before.
He seemed to forget my previous refusal and said a lot of words, telling me to pay attention to safety, not to show off, and remember to write to the capital. The
last pleading whisper, “Can you think of me?”
I looked at his appearance, and suddenly I felt a little sad and funny.
Feelings are really involuntary, how much he did not love me before, how much he prayed for me at this time.
I frowned for a long time and refused him again.
I told him I wouldn’t miss him, and I didn’t want him to miss me.
Perhaps he is just at this time because he knows he is a substitute, the heart is unwilling, not really like me.
“So don’t think about me. Remember to forget me.”
What a funny thing to say to someone who once advised me.
From what I can tell, it’s ironic. It has been a year and a half since I came back from this farewell
to the capital. During
this period, I walked through the rivers and mountains he passed, and went to the battlefield where he fought.
I’ve been there.. The cliff where he fell.
It was the second day when the barbarians were defeated and the army won in an all-round way. Regardless of the unhealed wound on my back,
I went to the top of the cliff alone with two jars of liquor. The
late autumn wind is very strong, I specially looked down, unfathomable, there is no possibility of survival.
I sat on the edge of the cliff and drank a jar of wine slowly. I wanted to say something several times, but I didn’t know who to say it to. Who
wants to hear me talk about the past?
As dusk approached, I got up and threw the untouched jar of wine into the cliff before I left.
“Oh, happy birthday.”
Don’t worry, I’m fine. It was winter when
I returned to the capital with the army, and the streets were full of expectant people, who were cheering for the bravery of the soldiers and eagerly looking for their loved ones. When
they reached the palace gate, they dismounted. The emperor’s cousin had already led the civil and military officials of the Manchu court to wait for a long time. Not seen for more than
a year, the deterrence of his body is deeper, in the face of the general’s kneeling, bearing is more dignified.
But when he looked up at me, the moment our eyes met in the air, I felt that he was relieved.
“Back.”
“Well, I’m back.”
He looked at me, but it was like. It wasn’t me.
I didn’t want to break each other’s hearts on this day of celebration, so I looked away after a moment’s pause.
Then I saw Zhou Ziyu behind my cousin, who was no longer Prince Shaofu, but had entered the cabinet and become an upstart in Beijing.
He is no different from the past, or familiar eyebrows, or that a cold look.
He seemed to find my gaze and looked up, but for a moment, he frowned, as if he was deeply dissatisfied with me.
I know why.
Zhou Ziyu’s dissatisfaction went from greeting to the end of the palace banquet.
He blocked me in a corner, his chest breathing fluctuated greatly, his eyebrows were wrinkled, and his eyes were scarlet.
“Why didn’t you answer my letter, Bailixi?”
I stood opposite him, and if I had seen him like this before, I would have been distressed and sad, and I would have raised my hand to touch his eyebrows and eyes.
But at this time, my heart has no waves.
Yes, I went to the edge of the cliff, and I put it down.
False, after all, I deceive myself and others.
My expression was light, and my tone was flat. “My husband and I were just former masters and apprentices, but now we are strangers.”
“Why does the princess have to write back?”
Perhaps I said too determined, Zhou Ziyu’s face was first stunned, then full of disbelief, and finally turned into a sad smile on his lips.
“Bailixi, do you say you are a stranger to me?”
He grabbed my shoulder and pushed me back. My back hit the wall with a bang. The pain made me hum.
“Why do you think that after teasing me, you can leave in style?”
“Why should I stay here alone and wait for you?”
Why.. You don’t like me anymore.
In the face of Chou Tzu-yu’s repeated complaints, I swallowed the pain and replied, “I used to talk nonsense about marrying my husband, but it was also because my husband’s eyebrows and eyes were like my sweetheart.”
“I may have teased you, but without me, how could you be where you are today?”
“We’re just substitutes for each other, so why should you pretend to be so affectionate?”
I said resolutely, and the way I looked up at him was even more devoid of affection. “I said before that I was a very fickle person.”
“My love, you are not worthy.” When
Zhou Ziyu left, the back of his lost soul made me shed a tear for him.
It’s not love, it’s just pity.
Because of me, he is rich and powerful.
Because of me, he was in despair.
But there is a word, I am not wrong, we used to be each other’s substitute, but he is not single-minded enough.
But when I was summoned by the pure imperial concubine, I felt sorry for Zhou Ziyu.
His stand-in..
I will never learn the soft beauty of the woman in front of me, the charm between every move.
As Ah-hsiang once said, “I’m happy to climb trees and walls, but I’m used to it and no one can control it!”
Perhaps I think too fascinated, pure imperial concubine called me several times, I just heard, she asked me what I was thinking, smiling.
“It’s just a memory of the past.”
“Is it about the three princes?”
……
This is the first time in so many years that someone has mentioned him so directly in front of me.
The pure imperial concubine smiled slightly. She said that she had been in the palace for more than ten years. She used to be a palace maid. She had seen all the masters in the palace. Naturally, she had also seen me, Awa, and the emperor’s cousin walking together.
She said that she envied me very much at that time, the young emperor, as well as the bamboo horse prince all took care of me.
Later, she left, and he became a taboo in the palace. For the first time, she saw the emperor crying with red eyes, and saw my white, desperate and desolate appearance.
“I thought it would be nice to be a commoner,” said Princess Chun, looking into the distance, as if she were remembering something. “I’ll grow old with someone I like.”
Unfortunately, she became a woman in the palace and no longer had the right to pursue her own love.
Still later, pure imperial concubine knows I appreciate Zhou Ziyu, she is happy for him at the same time, at the same time can’t help but envy me.
“So at that time..” “I’m sorry, princess,” she said without saying the rest of the words, just a little bit of desolate smile.
I looked up at her and said in a quiet but sincere voice, “I envied you, too.”
Envy having someone to protect you. On New Year’s Eve,
I went to the imperial mausoleum to see my young man and met the emperor’s cousin.
I gently stroked the words on the tombstone and whispered softly, “Ah, I’m older than you.”
“How about calling me cousin from now on?” My cousin
behind me chuckled, and he pretended to be angry and scolded me, “Nonsense.”
I didn’t stay in the imperial mausoleum for a long time, so I went back to the palace with my cousin. On the way, he probably saw that I was a little depressed, so he raised his hand and patted me on the head and asked me what New Year gift I wanted. Almost without hesitation,
I blurted out, “I’m going to the frontier!”
“Not to play, but to be stationed.” What
answered me was the silence of disapproval and the silent refusal.
But years later, the emperor’s cousin and father finally agreed.
If you identify a person at the age of sixteen, you can’t forget it, so you can keep it. The day
I left Beijing, I didn’t let anyone see me off. I really didn’t like the sadness of parting.
But Zhou Ziyu still came, with a snowstorm and a lonely face. I
suddenly remembered that when I went to the palace yesterday, the emperor’s cousin casually said, “Zhou Qing really loves you. A few days ago, Prime Minister Liu wanted to betroth his daughter to him, but he refused.”
Well, why bother.
Zhou Ziyu stood still outside the carriage. He looked up at me and asked softly if I would come back?
I shook my head. “If I have nothing to do, I won’t come back.”
“Take care of yourself, sir, after this farewell.”
I wanted to put down the curtain without nostalgia, but he suddenly grabbed my wrist. Unwilling,
he asked, “If you had met me first, would you..”
“No.”
I interrupted his hypothesis and told him the truth.
He smiled sadly. “The princess is really very fickle. She doesn’t even want to cheat.” Determined,
I pulled my wrist away. “I hurt my back on the battlefield, and I didn’t recover from the bumps all the way back to Beijing.”
Chou Tzu-yu didn’t expect me to suddenly say such an irrelevant thing. He was stunned for a moment and asked doubtfully, “So?”
“So that day, you pushed me against the palace wall, and the wound in my back opened again.”
“It hurts.” I’m
not complaining, I’m not blaming, I’m just telling him the fact that I don’t love him.
“If it was him, he would have found out, right?”
“No, he won’t push me.”
He is reluctant to part with it. My
name is Zhou Qingan, and I am the adopted son of Zhou Ziyu, the head of the cabinet.
In this Dynasty, my father was a household name, and everyone gnashed his teeth when he was mentioned.
The common people all said that he was a bad official who covered up the sky with one hand, formed a clique for personal gain, and harmed the loyal and good.
They also said that my father had done too many bad things, so he couldn’t marry a daughter-in-law and lost his children and grandchildren.
Even some scholars who think they are upright will criticize him with righteous words in such crowded places as teahouses and taverns.
But my father never cared, I was angry when I was young, he would tell me that a gentleman is a clear conscience, the evaluation of others is not important.
As I grew older, I was chosen by the emperor as the companion of the five princes. I often went to the palace to study, and slowly began to hear about some court affairs. Only
then did I know that my father had a high prestige in the court, that the officials were convinced and that the emperor trusted him.
But I still feel vaguely that something is wrong, since the emperor gave my father the right to be above ten thousand people, why let him be the villain in the mouth of the people? It wasn’t
until I grew up, when I passed the examination and became an official in the court that I realized that there were two words in the world called “taking the blame.”
Good things belong to the leader, and bad things must be carried by someone.
But why my father?
Later, the five princes were ordered to patrol the border, and I followed them, where I met the legendary female general, Bailixi, who made the enemy afraid and guarded the territory of Daliang.
Speaking of it, the five princes should also call her cousin, but when she left the capital, the five princes were not born, and I was not adopted by my father.
It was the first time I saw her, and I was a little nervous. After all, she was the God of war in many people’s minds.
Has a very different reputation than my father. When Prince
Wu and General Baili introduced me as Chou Shou-fu’s son, I could feel that she was obviously stunned. Then she looked at me and asked, “How is your father now?”
“Everything is fine. The general knows my father?”
“He was my husband.” The five princes and
I looked at each other with some consternation, which we had never heard of. There are many legends about General Baili in the
capital. Her daughter inherited her father’s career and guarded the frontier.
She was so brave and skillful in battle that she made the enemy countries afraid.
She never married in her life, just for the safety of her family and country.
But I never heard of her in the capital, and I never heard my father mention her.
Later, she led me and the five princes to many places, we saw the customs of the border, but also realized that the soldiers are not easy.
Until the night before I returned to Beijing, I didn’t know why I couldn’t sleep, so I got up and wandered around the General’s Office.
It happened that a candle was still burning in General Baili’s study.
It was the first time I had seen the portrait. I was stunned for a moment. Then I recovered and asked, “Why is the general?” Hang a picture of my father?
She listened to my words for a moment, and then said with a disappointed smile, “This is not your father, this is the emperor’s third brother, the late King Qi.”
Perhaps the dust-laden memories of too many years are recalled, perhaps older people love to talk about the past.
General Baili talked to me for a long time the night before I returned to Beijing. In
those words, there are childish and naive her, there are young emperors, there are high-spirited young men, and my father. Only then did
I know why the emperor wanted my father to take the blame. It
‘s probably a love-hate relationship.
Love him and his brother have the same eyes, hate why he is not his brother.
Later, when we returned to Beijing, my father opened his mouth as he looked at me, as if he wanted to say something, but in the end all he could say was, “How is everything?”
Who’s good?
Is it me?
Or her?
I think of General Baili, who has white hair on her temples and wrinkles at the end of her eyes.
She is no longer young, but I can’t forget the perseverance on her face and the vicissitudes of life in her eyes.
I looked up at my father and said to him, “General Baili asked me to give a message to my father.” There was a flash of light in her
eyes, which I had never seen since I was a child. What did he say?
I imitated General Baili and saluted, “Sir, thanks for your hard work.”
It was an affirmation of her father, and she knew his grievances over the years.
But the father didn’t seem to appreciate it. “It’s really fickle,” he muttered with scarlet eyes.
Yes, all the love of General Baili in his life was given to the young man in her heart.
I still remember asking him as a child, “Father, why am I called Ching An?”
“The sea and the river are clean, and the whole life is peaceful.”
May there be no war, and may she be safe.
(End of full text)
Author: Song Qi
Record No.: YX01jj78jo5aZAk9R
Published on 2022-07-20 16:13. Forbidden to Reprint
Princess Sigh for Respect
to Old Friends: Don’t Ask the End of the Song, People Gather and Dispart
, Li Yanli, etc
. ×
