The meaning is deep
, the old friend sighs:
I have been in the palace for a year without asking the end of the song. In this year, the emperor has never summoned me.
I became a transparent person in the palace.
Later the Empress Dowager told me, “You look exactly like the man emperor wanted to get rid of.” Among the concubines
in the harem, I was the only one who had never been summoned. The people in the palace have always looked at the face of the emperor to do things, from the queen down to the maid, everyone is aware that the emperor does not like me.
So even the servants dare to grind me.
Next month, all the concubines have to go to celebrate the birthday of the Empress Dowager, but I can’t even pick out a decent dress, and it’s not my turn to make any good material. The only thing I could see was what the emperor rewarded me when I first entered the palace, and all the girls who entered the palace with me had one. I haven’t had a chance to wear this dress for half a year, and it smells like wood mold at the bottom of the box.
I ordered the maid to take it out and clean it up. The maid sent the clothes to the Huanyi Bureau. When she went to get them again, the pearls embedded in the clothes disappeared.
As I said, even the servants dare to torment me.
I knew that the lost beads could not be found, and no one would care about the unloved concubines, so I simply did not ask. On the birthday of the Empress Dowager, I wore this dress without beads to celebrate her birthday. It’s
too shabby. During the
banquet, the emperor caught a glimpse of me and suddenly said, “I remember that I had beads embedded in my clothes. Why did you take them off?”
The emperor had never spoken to me, and for a moment I didn’t realize that he was asking me. He asked again, and then I came to my senses and replied that the beads had been lost in the raccoon clothes Bureau.
He nodded and said nothing.
The next day, the emperor suddenly rewarded me with a lot of material, and at the same time, news came from the palace that the head of the raccoon clothes Bureau and the little maid who starched the dress, as well as all the other people who had handled the dress, had been dealt with by the emperor. Miserable
end, can not bear to hear.
I have always known that the emperor is a very moody person. When I
entered the palace, I was in time for the new funeral of the former prime minister, Su Bai. Before the emperor ascended the throne, Su Bai was his teacher, and after the emperor ascended the throne, he did his best to assist him in the position of prime minister for ten years. But before his mourning period, the emperor wanted to choose a beautiful girl to enter the palace.
This shows that the emperor is ungrateful and only knows how to enjoy himself, but he insists on doing so regardless. On
that day, the emperor stared at me for a long time, so long that everyone noticed the abnormality. He raised his hand and left me.
Because of this unusual gaze for a long time, people in the palace thought that the emperor must like me very much, and that I would favor the six palaces. But after that, the emperor never summoned me again.
And when everyone thought that the emperor had forgotten me and was even tired of me, he simply dismissed the palace people who had bullied me. When the palace was
full of rumors, the queen mother called me over.
The queen mother is an elegant woman. It is hard for those who do not know to imagine that the most noble woman in the world is now only in her thirties. She is still beautiful. Her face is not marked by the years, but her expression is old. Her eyes are quiet, and there is no wave in the ancient well.
She stared at me for a long time, just as the emperor had stared at me.
After a while, she finally said, “Give me a seat.” When
I was able to sit down, the Empress Dowager said slowly, “It was the first time I saw you yesterday, but I didn’t know you looked like the man emperor wanted to get rid of.”
I lowered my eyes and said, “Forgive me for being stupid. I don’t know who that man is.” “It’s a good thing not to know,”
she sighed heavily. The emperor’s temper is a little unpredictable. If he is wronged in the future, he will come to Ai’s house. When
the queen mother said this, my maid was beside her. When I returned to the palace, the maid asked me curiously, “The queen mother said you look like that man. Who is that man?” I
shook my head and said I didn’t know, and the maid began to speculate in the palace. She thought I must look like a woman that the emperor loved and hated, but the emperor was still young, but now he was weak. There were no dead or disposed concubines in the palace. The emperor had never been out of the palace. He knew how many women he had, and everyone in the palace knew.
She doesn’t care about it anymore, and I don’t care about it either. After
that, the emperor did not summon me, but the palace people did not dare to treat me badly.
Until winter, when it was snowing, the emperor suddenly came to my palace.
He came in with a cold wind and snow and a hot smell of alcohol, and his legs were a little weak. When the emperor was young, he had a leg disease, which could not be cured. He looked at me and did not move his eyes. I sat him down, poured him some tea, and handed it to him, but he didn’t take a sip. Suddenly he grabbed my hand and said, “What’s your name?”
“Cloud Flaw.”
“Is your surname Yun?”
“My surname is Yun.”
Then he began to say to himself, is the surname cloud, how can there be a relationship, but why the eyes are so similar. When I
heard this, I lowered my eyes.
The emperor spent the night in my palace, and after that night I became a veritable concubine. After the emperor had left, the maid waited on me to freshen up. “Was it you that the emperor saw last night, or was it someone else?”
“When this word is heard, it is a crime of decapitation, and no longer shall it be spoken.” After a moment’s pause,
she added, “The maidservant is only wronged for you.”
“Don’t feel wronged for me.” From the window, I could see the palace people coming and going in the courtyard. They brought the emperor’s rewards. “The emperor can’t think of me as anyone, and I can never really be the person he fears and wants to get rid of.”
But the maidservant couldn’t figure it out. If it really looked that much like.. Why is the emperor still so kind to you?
I looked at her in the mirror. “Do you think the emperor is good to me?”
She smiled and nodded. “Of course, so many rewards.”
“Do you know why the emperor was so drunk yesterday?”
She shook her head. “The maidservant doesn’t know.”
“Do you know what day it was yesterday?”
She thought for a long time: “It doesn’t seem to be a big day.”
Indeed, it’s not a big day.
Yesterday was the birthday of the former prime minister Su Bai.
When Su Bai was alive, every year on his birthday, the emperor gave him countless gold and silver treasures. When I entered the palace, Su Bai was newly bereaved. Only half a month after I entered the palace, Su Bai was ransacked.
His family and relatives suffered the same bad fate. The eldest son killed himself in despair in prison. More than eighty people in the whole house starved to death in Su Fu. Those who survived outside the house were imprisoned and exiled.
Su Bai watched the emperor grow up, existed as an imperial teacher, taught him to be a qualified emperor, and became the prime minister for ten years, saving the crisis at the beginning of his accession to the throne. There is no merit but also hard work, and these feelings, the emperor did not take into account.
But on the day of Su Bai’s birthday, he was drunk alone.
And came to me.
In fact, I know that my eyes look exactly like Su Bai’s. After
this day, the emperor came to me more often, even more frequently. Everyone in the palace is envious, but only I know that every night he just sleeps here, and we have never been close to each other again.
I guess when he sees me, he will think of Su Bai, the man who is like a teacher and father to him but is implacable.
The emperor gave everyone a false impression that I was always in favor of him, and over time, some people began to dislike me. So I became more and more reclusive and tried not to stir up trouble.
But there are always people who come to visit me.
Xu Linqing was a beautiful girl who entered the palace at the same time as me. Earlier, she gave birth to a princess and became a virtuous concubine. Now she is pregnant again. She came to see me with a big belly of eight months.
In fact, I think she has no reason to be hostile to me. After all, she is the most favored one. The emperor likes her very much. But she was so jealous that she couldn’t bear to see the emperor favor anyone else while she was pregnant. Everyone in the palace knew that
the emperor’s happiness and anger were not constant. She did not dare to touch the emperor’s inverse scales, so she came to me.
I was ready for the storm. Unexpectedly, she pulled me to talk with a smile. She said that she didn’t like anyone in the palace. She just thought I was congenial. As if she were in her own palace, she walked around freely and ate the plums on my table before I even had time to stop her. She said she was a prince, and now she likes to eat sour food.
I’m always in a panic. The more she does, the more nervous I am. I have heard how she tortures the emperor’s concubines, and she has no reason to be so close to me.
Sure enough, something happened to her in the palace that night.
She complained of abdominal pain and heard that she was screaming in the palace. The Imperial Physician said that she had eaten something cold, which caused her to start early, and that premature delivery would be life-threatening. But she is pregnant, who dares to give her something she shouldn’t eat lightly?
Finally, her maid said that when she came to my palace, I gave her plums to eat.
The emperor was very fond of Xu Linqing and paid more attention to the prince in her womb. The big eunuch beside the emperor came to tell me that the emperor wanted to ask me something.
The great eunuch, surnamed Ma You, was an old eunuch who had served the emperor since he was a baby. At that time, he was the emperor’s great companion. Now in front of the emperor, the palm print is highly valued by the emperor, and the emperor still calls him a big companion. The
wind was blowing hard all the way, and the snow was heavy. Grandfather Ma was hurrying along beside my sedan chair, when he suddenly approached me by the window and accosted me: “Concubine Yun, Concubine De, things are not going well over there. The emperor is worried. Don’t contradict the emperor later.”
I lifted the curtain of the sedan chair, and the snow rushed in: “I didn’t harm the imperial concubine. Is Ma Gonggong trustworthy?”
“It doesn’t matter whether the old slave believes it or not. The emperor must believe it.” I stopped talking to him the rest of the
way. The emperor saw me in the palace of Xu Linqing, and I could hear her heart-rending shouts in the inner room, and the shouts of the steady doctor’s maid coming and going. Blood and water were brought out basin by basin, and there were many stoves for boiling water in the courtyard, and the hall was full of blood.
The emperor stared at me with cold eyes. “Is it true that Concubine De ate plums in your place?”
“Yes.” I hung my head and eyes, trying not to let the emperor think of Su Bai from my eyes.
“Did you have anything to do with the premature birth of the Imperial Concubine?” There is absolutely nothing wrong with
my concubines’ plums. They are all from Imperial Kitchen. I didn’t ask her to eat, but she wanted to eat herself.
“She hasn’t eaten anything since she was pregnant. How do you explain the situation now?” At
this point, I understand that he doesn’t believe me. But he still wants to ask me. Why do you have to ask?
“There are still some plums left. The emperor can ask the Imperial Physician to examine them.”
At this time, Xu Linqing’s maid rushed out at the right time, tearfully accused the emperor that I must have destroyed those problematic plums long ago, how can I find out, but I must have done it.
If you want to punish him, there is no excuse.
The emperor told me to raise my head. I suppose I should have put on a scared innocent look to excuse myself, but I couldn’t. I could only look at him as calmly as I had always done. In a way, it’s as cold as the way he looks at me.
The emperor stared at me, and so did Grandfather Ma.
Then the emperor’s breathing gradually became rapid, his eyes twitched twice, and suddenly he got up and waved his sleeve.
“The cloud concubine murdered the emperor’s heir without repentance. Move to the cold palace and don’t let me see her again!”
I was framed inexplicably, the emperor’s anger is also inexplicable, after all, he is so moody, only Xu Linqing achieved her goal, but do not know whether it is worth using children as a bargaining chip for the disappearance of an enemy? The moment I heard the will, I had no fear or sadness, and I felt that maybe this was the result I had always wanted.
That night I was thrown into the cold palace, leaving only a maid to serve me. The maid, with tears in her eyes, swept the deserted palace, and tried to make me comfortable. I told her to rest. The windows of the
cold palace were already rotten, and the wind and snow whistled in, gathering into a pool of water by the window and forming a thin layer of ice.
Although I had a charcoal basin, it was still too cold for me to sleep. When
the day was about to break, the door of the cold palace was opened. I looked out of the window and saw Grandfather Ma standing in the doorway. Under the dark blue sky, his figure was somewhat difficult to distinguish in the snowlight.
He went straight to the door, knocked politely, and only came in with my permission. He
used to salute me, but now I’m in the cold, and with his position at the emperor’s side, maybe it’s time for me to salute him.
He stepped aside slightly, did not accept the gift, but stared at my face, just as the emperor looked at me, just as the queen mother looked at me.
My eyes are so similar to those of Su Bai. Everyone of them knows Su Bai.
“Empress Yun, is Yun really your surname?”
“Nature.”
He wiped the dust off his chair and sat down without a care. He spoke slowly: Eighteen years ago, Master Su Xiangye gave birth to a daughter. When she was born, according to the usual practice, he asked someone to measure her fate. The husband said that if the daughter stayed in the Su family, she would not be able to support her. She would be seriously ill before she was one year old, and would have to be sent to the Chikong Temple to support her. She would never see her family. Can not let outsiders know, life can be safe. Su Xiangye originally did not believe, but later the child was seriously ill before the full moon, and was sent to Jikong Temple to save him. After that, the little girl never returned to the Su Mansion, saying to the outside world that she had died of illness.
I was silent.
Su Bai is no longer a prime minister now. He is a guilty minister who has been stamped by the emperor. Grandfather Ma still called him this way, which showed that the two of them really had a close friendship.
“Before the child was sent to the Chikong Temple, Lao Nu was discussing matters with Su Hsiang-yeh in the Su Mansion. At that time the child had not yet been given a name, so he only decided on the character” Jing “for the girl. When there was one character left, Su Hsiang-yeh asked Lao Nu to draw up one.”
I remain silent.
“The old slave drew up the word’ya ‘, which means long and lasting, and wished that the daughter of Su Hsiang-yeh could live a long life without illness or disaster.” He stood up and walked up to me. “The first time I saw you, the old slave, I thought of Master Su. Your eyes are so similar to his. They are carved out of the same mold. Even the eyes are the same.”
“It turns out that Grandfather Ma and Su Hsiang-yeh still have such old stories.”
Don’t pretend to be confused. Empress Yun Pin, the old slave shouldn’t have called you by your first name. Is Yun really your surname? Are you Yun-hsia or Su Ching-ya?
I am Yun Xia and Su Jingya.
As long as I can remember, I grew up in Jikong Temple. There are no men in jikong temple. They are all nuns. I have never shaved my hair. I only practice with the abbot. The abbot has taught me a lot. Although I don’t know much about poetry and books, doctors have more or less dabbled in astrology and astrology, and more often take me to read scriptures.
Others knew that I was an official lady who came to support me, but they didn’t know whose family I was. Because no one has ever come to see me, over time, everyone thinks that my family is broken.
Even I feel the same way. When
I was thirteen years old, Su Bai, who was at the height of his power at that time, came to Jikong Temple on the grounds of investigating the matter of offering incense to the Empress Dowager. At that time, I only knew that he was a famous prime minister and an imperial teacher, but I didn’t know that this was my biological father. Later, I learned that the Ministry of Rites had done such things according to the rules, and there was no need for him to come in person, but he really wanted to meet his little daughter, whom he had not met for thirteen years, so he came by this excuse, actually to see me.
In this way, I know my life experience, see my father,
in addition to him, I have not seen anyone in Su Fu. The number of times he came to see me can be counted on one’s fingers, but the feelings in his eyes can’t deceive people. I know he misses me very much, and I miss him very much. I don’t covet the treasure and power of the prime minister’s mansion and the identity of the prime minister’s daughter. I just want to know what it’s like to live normally in a family with relatives.
But I didn’t wait for such an opportunity. When I was seventeen years old, my father died of illness, and the whole country knew it. I want to observe filial piety, but I don’t know if I can show up at your house.
I took advantage of the night to sneak out of the Jikong Temple and hid in a distant place outside the prime minister’s mansion. I could see the spiritual banners and the mourning banners in the courtyard. There was an endless stream of people coming and going to mourn, and the cries in the courtyard were loud.
I looked for a long time before I went back, and when I went back, I found the abbot looking for me everywhere. She packed me up and told me to leave.
When I asked her why I was leaving, she said that a noble person in the palace had sent a message to her, saying that the prime minister’s mansion was going to have an accident recently, and that it would be difficult for the whole mansion to be saved. If someone revealed that Su Bai had a daughter hiding in Jikong Temple, it might cause trouble and asked me to leave quickly before the accident happened.
I asked the abbot, my father is the prime minister, the emperor personally posthumously give posthumous title, who can let the prime minister mansion accident?
In fact, the moment I ask, I don’t need an answer.
Su Bai is the prime minister under one person and above ten thousand people. There is only one person above him.
I asked the abbot who was the person who sent the message, and the abbot said that she could not say, but that the news of this person must be accurate.
After a long time, I have been thinking, who is so hands and eyes, know that Su Bai has a daughter in Jikong Temple, but also know in advance that the prime minister’s mansion is going to have an accident. It’s not that
I didn’t suspect Grandfather Ma, but I never dared to verify it.
“It was Grandfather Ma who wanted me to leave, wasn’t it?”
I have never seen Grandfather Ma. He only went to Jikong Temple a few times. He accompanied the Empress Dowager to offer incense. He could not move freely in the temple.
But I’ve heard of him. When the emperor ascended the throne, he was only ten years old, and the affairs of the government were in the hands of Su Bai. The inner court was under the control of Grandfather Ma, who held the seal and had a close relationship with the queen mother. Every decree carried out by Su Bai had the support of Grandfather Ma. Together,
they supported the Dynasty for ten years, but they knew each other personally for more than ten years. They were all people who had accompanied the emperor since he was a baby.
“Forgive the old slave for speaking bluntly. You shouldn’t have entered the palace.”
I didn’t speak and waited for him to go on.
Your eyes look exactly like those of Master Su Hsiang-yeh. Do you know how much the emperor hates Su Xiangye? When the emperor sees you, he thinks of him.
“If you think of my father when you see me, but you still come to see me from time to time, then, Grandfather Ma, what is the emperor thinking?” Instead of answering,
he said to himself, “Why did the emperor suddenly get so angry when he was in the palace of the imperial concubine?” The emperor is a stubborn man. In the past, sometimes he did not agree with what Su Xiangye had done, and when he refuted it, Su Xiangye could always break up the interests so that the emperor could not refute it. But the emperor is stubborn, or determined to oppose, Su Xiangye so staring at him. Whenever Su Xiangye shows this kind of look, the emperor is afraid. The emperor was afraid of him when he was young. You look so much like Master Su. I
don’t know why, but I suddenly felt funny and laughed out loud.
He was afraid of my father since he was a child, so he dared to raid his house after my father died, and he dared to say his guilt. But my father is dead, how can I know? He only dares to bully a dead man.
The emperor is such a coward in his bones.
That’s ridiculous.
I know what you’re thinking. You want to avenge Su Xiangye and the whole Su family. How can you do that? Once the emperor knows your true identity, do you know what will happen to you? Just
die.
I don’t like to be his concubine. When I see his face and think of what this man has done, I feel sick.
But I went to the palace. I want to avenge my father. How can I do that? I’ve had a million chances to do that. I brought a bracelet into the palace, which was full of crane top red. On the night when the emperor first came to my palace, I poured him a cup of poisonous tea and even put it directly at his hand, but he didn’t drink a mouthful.
And then he fell asleep, and I didn’t. Looking at his face, I felt that I could easily open his mouth and pour the poison into it. I even got the poison to his mouth.
But at that moment, I hesitated.
My father said he would make a good emperor. He said that he had taught the emperor all the ways of being a king. He said that the emperor had learned very well. If one day he died, the emperor would take over the road he had paved and walk for a longer time. He said that his greatest wish in his life was to see a peaceful and prosperous time when the officials were clean and the people were happy. This has always been the ultimate desire of officials.
I want to see if this man can make my father’s wish come true, if this man is a good emperor, and what kind of successor my father has chosen for himself.
Yes, I think even if he is the emperor, he is only my father’s successor. The man at the helm for ten years was my father, not him.
He has no son, no one to succeed him. If he dies, I don’t know how many variables and disasters will arise in the alternation of power and position.
So I put away the poison and poured the cup of poisonous tea.
Because at that moment, I suddenly didn’t know whether revenge was more important or my father’s lifelong wish was more important.
If I can only choose one, how should I choose? When
the day was completely bright, Grandfather Ma had gone, and he had to serve the emperor, so he could not delay too long. But my life was not so hard. He sent people to repair the palace and sent a lot of things. “Tell me,” said
the maid as she gathered up the things, “why did Grandfather Ma take such good care of you?”
“Maybe it’s pity for me.” I answered casually. After the
full moon, he left his biological parents and grew up in a Buddhist temple. Without experiencing the care of his family, his family was destroyed and his true identity could no longer be revealed. He entered the palace alone, but failed to take revenge and entered the cold palace.
He must feel sorry for me. Although
he was only a eunuch, he was a eunuch under one person and above ten thousand people, and he was very qualified to feel sorry for me. Maybe it’s mixed with pity for the daughter of an old friend, I don’t know.
But my maid is really very simple, and her words are still full of hope: “Grandfather Ma takes care of you so much, because he sees that you can make a comeback, and he will speak well for you in front of the emperor.”
I didn’t tell her that for Grandfather Ma, he probably thought that the best way to save me was to let me die of old age in the cold palace and never let the emperor see me again in his life.
But then I found out that I couldn’t die of old age in the cold palace.
Because after a month in the cold, I found out that I was pregnant.
It was the twelfth lunar month, and there were only three days left before the Chinese New Year.
I hate this child, because I hate the father of the child, and I hate the man who is hypocritical, cowardly, strong on the outside and moody on the inside. But things in the world are sometimes so natural, but fortunately I had his child overnight.
I have never been a mother, nor have I ever seen my mother. I don’t understand. Once a woman becomes a mother, can she give all the love to the unformed meat in her stomach without reservation? Is it the same even if the father of the child is disgusting to them?
I asked the maid to send a message to the guard at the gate, asking Grandfather Ma to come and see me. During the night, Grandfather Ma came.
He thought I was missing something and asked him for help. I told him the truth.
I’m pregnant.
He was a man who had been in the palace for decades, and he didn’t show any emotion on his face. I told him that I hoped he could help me get abortion pills, and that I didn’t want this baby.
He was silent for a long time before he spoke slowly: “This is the only chance you have to turn over a new leaf. Besides, you have a phoenix in your belly, and you can’t make your own decisions.”
Then he turned and left the cold palace.
The next day, he came again, but this time, instead of sneaking to see me, he came with the doctor. The Imperial Physician concluded that I had been pregnant for two months, and then he read the imperial edict.
The emperor took me out of the cold palace, and the position and treatment were all the same. Let bygones be bygones for the murder of the imperial concubine.
I left this dark and cold place before the Spring Festival. On the way, I asked Grandfather Ma, how is the child of De Fei? She paid such a big chip, now know that I came out again, how unwilling it is. Grandfather
Ma smiled, which I thought was a bit ironic. The little prince who was born to Concu
bine De died three days after she was born. If you gamble too much, you will easily lose everything. If you gamble too much, you will be forgiven for what Heaven has done, but if you have done it yourself, you will not be able to live.
Xu Linqing was injured when she was born prematurely, and she is still convalescing, so she has no time to trouble me for the time being. Now that I’m pregnant with a dragon, all of a sudden I’m valuable.
The emperor sometimes came to see me, but I found that most of the time, the person he brought was not Grandfather Ma, but another eunuch.
He doesn’t often look me in the eye. I know. I still remind him of my dad.
But at the beginning wronged me to harm the German imperial concubine’s matter, he also did not mention again, I often thought, did he know that he had wronged me?
Until March, when spring was warm and flowers were blooming, my belly became bigger, and I could see it in my clothes. And the emperor was drunk again and came to me drunk. Why did
the emperor get so drunk?
As before, today is not a big day.
It’s just the anniversary of Su Bai’s death.
I lay down with my belly out, but he did not close his eyes, but motioned me to sit down.
I was sitting on the edge of the bed, and his eyes were looking straight at the curtain, but it seemed that he saw something else through the curtain.
“During my nap, I had a dream.” There was still the languor and mistiness of drunkenness in his voice, and a faint sigh that he had not yet sobered up.
I dream of a man who is no longer alive … When he was alive. I dreamed that when I was young, he taught me to read, an article “Yan Zi is difficult to die”, I did not memorize it at the time he set, I was scolded. When
I was ten years old, my father died. Since then, I have lost my father. For a long time, I felt that he was like my father.. Although it’s a little harsh. Mother said that what he taught was right, and my companion said that what he taught was right, and I thought so.
But I don’t like this article. The king whom
Yan Tzu served died, but Yan Tzu refused to be martyred, and went on at length to find fault with the king. Is there anyone in the world who is such a courtier?
But as I grew older, I gradually felt that he was just like Yan Zi in Yan Zi’s Immortal Monarch. He will only find fault with me.
He finds fault with me, and he takes over everything I have.. I am the emperor, and I cannot tolerate it.
I listened in silence, unable to answer him.
This is the good emperor who was taught by my father. If he had knowledge under the spring, I don’t know how he would feel.
But I still often dream of him. I thought I was finally getting rid of him, but many times I found that I was becoming more and more like him.
No, not at all.
Not even close.
And sometimes I realize in a trance that even if he can’t come back to life and scold me.. I am still so afraid of him. Afraid of him pointing out my mistakes.
But I must clear all obstacles … I am not sorry, half a point is not sorry. He should have returned everything to me. I thought of him when I
first saw you. At that time, I felt like a demon that I could compensate you for something, but I didn’t want to see your eyes. It’s just a fool’s dream. How can we make up for it? There was a reason for his unprovoked anger in the palace of the German imperial concubine
that day. When I stared at him with these eyes, what he saw was no longer me, but the ghost Su Bai who crawled out of the ground. The ghost occupied my eyes and stared at him with his familiar and fearful eyes, silently pointing out his mistakes. He will never admit his mistake, nor will he admit his mistake under the gaze of Su Bai, so I will be wronged. He never wants to see me again, and he will never admit his mistake under my gaze.
Then an idea suddenly came into my mind.
He was so afraid of destroying people with his own hands, but he could not get rid of them.
If let him know that Su Bai’s daughter is beside him, but also pregnant with his child, his child with Su’s blood, is Su Bai’s grandson, I do not know how he would react at that time? Extremely
angry and fearful?
I suddenly fell in love with the baby in my belly, and the doctor said that the baby was a prince.
I want this child to be the emperor.
I want this child with Su’s blood to be the emperor.
Then when the emperor is dying, I will tell him that you are going to hand over your country to Su Bai’s grandson. If Su Bai has knowledge under the spring, he will be very gratified.
At the thought of such a day, I suddenly felt that the days in the palace had become hopeful, and I suddenly began to look forward to the birth of this child.
I am waiting for this day. When
the emperor sobered up, he forgot what he had said the night before. I don’t know if he really forgot or didn’t want to remember, but we tacitly stopped mentioning it.
In May, I was already very inconvenient to move. I went out of the palace gate less and less, and went to bed earlier and earlier. One day when I was asleep, the maid woke me up and said that the people around Grandfather Ma had come and must see me.
She always felt that Grandfather Ma was kind to me, so she spread the word urgently. I asked her to bring someone in, and I recognized that it was a father-in-law who was always with Grandfather Ma, who was in charge of Si Lijian. When he
saw me, he knelt down with a mournful face and said, “Empress Yun Pin, Empress, now you are in a noble position, and the emperor loves you. For the sake of our ancestors who have taken care of you, I beg you to be kind. Please save our ancestors anyway!”
Ancestor is Grandfather Ma, and all the eunuchs call him Ancestor.
In his narration, I understood the context. Since last year, the emperor has intentionally or unintentionally alienated Grandfather Ma, and many things are managed by other people. Just now, the emperor issued a decree to allow Grandfather Ma to commit suicide. Grandfather Ma wanted to see the emperor, but the emperor refused to see him.
I suddenly understood why Grandfather Ma had to let me out of the cold palace and had to turn me over. My father had been very close to him before his death. The two of them were dependent on each other. Probably from the time my father was ransacked, he knew that his days were numbered. After
my father died, his only dependence was the emperor, and when the emperor no longer trusted him, he was like a duckweed. Does
he really pity me? I may be just a move he made early in the morning to save his life at the critical moment.
I asked the eunuch to go back first, and the maid asked me if I wanted to plead for mercy.
Intellectually, I know I shouldn’t have gone. Grandfather Ma today is just like my father that day. No matter who touches him, he will come to no good end.
But he once sent a letter to Jikong Temple to let me go. He took care of me when I was in the cold palace. My father fell down, but he was still willing to call my father Su Xiangye. Even my name was given by him. What
he is waiting for is the moment when I return the favor. If I really return the favor, will it involve myself?
I don’t know, but I went anyway.
I had never been to the Palace of Heavenly Purity, and the emperor thought it was fresh for me to take the initiative to see him and let me in.
Judging from his expression, he was not in a good mood, but he still looked at my stomach and asked me, “How are you feeling these days?”? Is there anything wrong with it?
“My concubine is fine. There’s nothing wrong with her.”
“Then why are you so late?”
The maid supported me, and I held my waist and knelt down slowly.
“If you have anything to say about a body that makes such a great ceremony, say something.”
“If I had spoken, would the emperor not have blamed me?”
His eyes became critical. “You go first.”
“Grandfather Ma may have made a terrible mistake, but I implore the emperor to spare his life for the sake of his long years of companionship.”
He stood up and walked over to me, staring down at me, his voice cold and angry. “Why did you intercede for him?” The
punishment may be light or heavy. If the emperor just wants to be out of sight, he doesn’t necessarily have to take people’s lives. My concubine interceded for him only because she didn’t want the emperor to dream of someone he shouldn’t dream of, sleep restlessly, and drink to drown his sorrows.
When he didn’t speak, I didn’t dare to look up, let alone get up.
I believe that for him, in his heart, Grandfather Ma has the same status as my father. Both of them have accompanied him since he was a baby. One has accompanied him to study, the other has accompanied him to live, and they have supported the government together for ten years.
If Grandfather Ma died, he would not really be relieved. He would only be afraid of my father. From then on, he would never see anyone who was even a little similar to Grandfather Ma.
But I don’t know if this reason can convince him.
For a long time, he suddenly turned around.
“Go back to the palace.”
I did not dare to say a word more, and slowly withdrew from the Palace of Heavenly Purity. In the
second day, the weather changed, the eunuch was replaced, and Grandfather Ma was sent to Nanjing by the emperor to grow vegetables. This is the fate of Dazhao, who had dominated the inner court for twenty years.
Fortunately, a life was saved after all. Before he
left, he asked someone to give me a letter. When I opened it, there was only one poem in it.
The vicissitudes of life several autumn, everything is always so difficult to stop.
A night of prosperity withered, only to know that the world is sleepwalking.
In those days, when he called for wind and rain, he was proud and did not know how to worry.
Today, with frost and snow, only the green hills are on the top.
I suddenly remembered that he once said that if you gamble too much, you will easily lose everything. I don’t know if it was a big gamble that he chose to support my father, and now he doesn’t regret losing everything.
And I have returned his favor, benevolence and righteousness. My baby was born before it was
completely winter.
As the doctor said, it was a boy. A lot of things happened during
this period, the biggest one was that my father, no, really Yunxia’s father, died in a fire. But I don’t care, I have no feelings for that person, I just wear the name of Yunxia. The
newly born child was wrinkled and not good-looking, but the emperor was very happy and gave him the name Luo, which was his only prince so far. The emperor always stared at his face, not knowing what he wanted to see from it. Selfishly,
I hope the child’s eyes are not like mine. If it were like me, the emperor would project his complex moodiness on him. I want this child to be loved by his father and inherit the throne in the future.
Although I gave birth to a child, the emperor did not often come to see me. I can probably guess the reason. I interceded for Grandfather Ma and probably made his taboo. When I was in the cold palace, the news of my pregnancy was also reported by Grandfather Ma. He probably suspected that I was Grandfather Ma’s accomplice.
Since having this baby, it’s been very difficult for me to get a good night’s sleep. The baby wakes up many times during the night, and when the wet nurse is at her wits’ end, she has to wake me up. Over time, my spirit became worse and worse in the daytime.
So when Xu Linqing came to me this day, a pasty head made me stare at her for a long time before I realized who she was.
On the one hand, I haven’t seen her for so long that I’ve forgotten what she looks like.
On the one hand, she is very different from the past. She used to be gorgeously dressed and experienced changes, but now she looks a little calmer. When
she came, I was coaxing Luo Er to take a nap. She stared at Luo Er for a long time. Luo Er was not only not afraid, but also smiled at her.
I can’t laugh.
She lost a child, and I couldn’t help wondering about her intentions.
It was not until Luoer fell asleep and was carried away by the nurse that she suddenly turned away from the servants around her. The people in my palace watched me, waiting for my meaning, and I let them all go down. When we were alone in the hall, she said faintly, “If my child were still alive, it would be very beautiful.”
“Where there is injustice, there is debt.” I wasn’t in the mood to make false promises to her, so I came straight to the point and said, “You know how you lost your child. You can’t blame me for this.”
She was silent for a long time before she answered, “I’m not afraid to talk to you now.”. The Imperial Physician said that given my condition at the time, even if I could induce labor, there would be no danger, and the mother and child would be safe.
So you’re willing to use your own children as a game? Now you must see that the emperor doesn’t favor me.
“It doesn’t matter whether you are spoiled or not. You have a child.”
I felt that her obsession with children seemed to be to the point of madness, but I had no friendship with her, and I comforted her by saying, “The emperor still loves you, and you will have children.”
“Not anymore.” She suddenly turned to look at me, with a bottomless pool of sadness in her eyes. “I hurt my body when I was born prematurely, and the doctor said I would never have a child again.”
For those who want to be a mother, this is probably the heaviest punishment, and she is in the imperial family, no prince, after all, there is no sense of security.
She said nothing more and got up to go. I stopped her behind her and said, “Aren’t you afraid that I will tell the emperor about this?”
She looked back at me. “Would you?”? Even if you say so, will the emperor believe you?
Then she walked out of the door without waiting for me to answer.
Then I thought her heart was dead.
Three days later, the emperor issued a decree.
First, Jin I for the imperial concubine, given the name of the village.
Second, Luo Er lived with Xu Linqing from then on.
Carol is my blood and bone, and even though I was so tired of him before I gave birth to him that I even wanted to abort him, I still couldn’t bear someone to take him away from me. Not
even if the man is the emperor of 95.
So I went to the Palace of Heavenly Purity. After Grand
father Ma went to Nanjing, I could not speak to the people around the emperor. They probably saw that the emperor did not want to see me, or perhaps they simply got the emperor’s will and refused to pass it on. If I had known that the price of returning Ma Gonggong’s favor was to lose my child, I would rather be ashamed of him and stand by and watch him die.
So I simply knelt down at the gate of the Palace of Heavenly Purity. The emperor could not see me, but I did not believe that he could never come out.
I knelt down from noon to dinner time, when the door of the Palace of Heavenly Purity was finally opened, and the new eunuch, Grandfather Chen, asked me to go in. It was hard for
me to get up. My legs were already kneeling unconscious. The maid helped me move in step by step. When she saw the emperor, she wanted to kneel again. He told me to get up, but I couldn’t stand up any more. It was like there were thousands of needles on my legs.
He stared at me for a moment, then walked up to me, bending slightly and offering a hand. I grabbed his hand and stood up with difficulty. I asked him why he gave Luoer to Xu Linqing and why my child could not be raised by myself, but he just stared at my eyes and did not speak.
So I lowered my eyes again. When I need to please him, don’t let him think of Su Bai from my eyes. That is a taboo that cannot be placed in front of the emperor.
But in the end, the answer he gave me was only one sentence.
“The Imperial Concubine won’t have a prince. She likes this child very much.” What kind of reason
is that? Can Xu Linqing give her whatever she likes?
I seldom disobeyed the emperor, but this time, for the sake of my child, I had to argue: “It is not my concubine’s sin that she lost her child. The emperor should know that.”. If one day Concubine De said she liked my concubine’s human skin, would she peel off my concubine’s skin and make clothes for her?
The emperor’s face grew cold, and he turned around. “Get out of here.”
I backed out slowly.
The next day, the queen mother called me to go, I only went to visit once when the moon came out, and it was a long time.
Seeing me, the Empress Dowager went straight to the point and said, “The Ai family heard about what happened at the Qing Palace that day.”
Before the emperor came into power, the government affairs were all handled by the queen mother. As soon as my father died, the queen mother quickly withdrew from the government and worshipped the Buddha all day long. But if a hundred-footed worm was dead but not stiff, she still knew every tiny sign of trouble in the palace under the appearance of taking care of herself.
“The family of Ai has called you to speak. There are some words that no one could hear before. You should only listen to a story.”
I was obediently silent, ready to listen to her gossip, though I knew it might not really be gossip. There is nothing to praise about the
Ai family in this life, except that they had a better life and gave birth to the only son of the late emperor. But the first emperor left early, leaving the mess to our orphans and widows. At that time, the emperor was only ten years old.
The Ai family gave birth to an emperor at the age of 16, and by the time the late emperor died, he wasn’t very old, and he couldn’t hold down this elder statesman of the Manchu Dynasty, not to mention governing the country and Europe. The ruler was less suspicious of the country, and he was about to change. Do you know what kind of mess the late emperor left behind? The treasury could not even pay the salaries of officials. The
Ai family can only recite the Buddha’s name every day, asking the emperor to bless them, asking the Bodhisattva to bless them, and asking the ancestors to bless them, so that they will not be defeated by the Ai family.
“At that time, it was Su Hsiang who stood out.”
I was just an ordinary concubine, and I was frightened when she suddenly said this to me.
She still called my father Su Xiang, even though the emperor had called him by his first name. Everyone who has been with
my father for a long time still has the most basic respect for him, only the emperor, must be exterminated before he will give up. When the
emperor could not speak, Su Xiang was his teacher. The first emperor went early, and the emperor lost his father at a young age. Su Xiang watched him all day long. Su Xiang taught him in Shang’s study. He didn’t even have time to go home and teach his son.
“From the initial chaos to the present peace and tranquility of the world, Prime Minister Su has done his utmost, and deserves to devote himself to his work.”
But he was still regarded as an eyesore by the emperor.
It is reasonable to say that it is easy for such a number one person to usurp power. At first I was a little worried, but he was very respectful to the mourning family until he was too sick to get up. None of the orders he issued ever crossed me, let alone the emperor.
“In this vast land, the Ai family, together with Prime Minister Su and Ma You, in the past ten years, the three of us have been nominally the monarch and his subjects, the master and his servants, but in fact we have supported each other. Can you understand that?”.
I can.
But she was the only one who supported each other, not the emperor. So no wonder the emperor is cruel to my father and Grandfather Ma.
She looked into my eyes and said sadly, “But there are some things that I really can’t do.”. The Ai family can still sit here because they are the emperor’s birth mother, that’s all.
I didn’t say anything. She heaved a deep sigh and said, “Ma You told the Ai family your identity before he left. The emperor is investigating you.”. The Ai family will help you with Luoer.
I was shocked.
I can be sure that Grandfather Ma never told the queen mother everything. In any case, the queen mother and the emperor are mother and son, the queen mother is not afraid of me to murder the emperor? I don’t know how Grandfather Ma fooled the Empress Dowager. In short, she seemed to believe that my entry into the palace was just an accident. She was treading on thin ice in the palace and didn’t want to do anything to the emperor.
The queen really believed him.
As for the emperor’s investigation of me, I believe he can’t find anything. Only then did I realize that the unexpected death of Yunxia’s father might be a big gift from Grandfather Ma. I took the risk of pleading for his life, and he reciprocated by giving me the final insurance for my false identity.
Is this, to save people is to save oneself?
But when I inquired about the fire carefully, I realized that the cost behind it was countless lives.
It’s true that Yunxia is the daughter of an old scholar. He didn’t want to send his daughter to the talent show. I took the vacancy, and then she was sent to the countryside. No one can withstand the torture of the East Factory, the relevant people arrested to ask, can not hide, and the same street know so many people, this matter is actually too easy to expose. A fire broke out in the street where the
old scholar’s house was located. No one survived except a five-year-old child in the street. The whole street.
As for the true cloud flaw who is far away in the countryside, there must be no good result. Grandfather
Ma did this for me. To some extent, I was deceived by his kind and respectful appearance. If he was not ruthless enough, not unscrupulous enough, how could he ascend the throne in the original chaos, how could he be in charge of the inner court for ten years.
It was a simple task for him, but for me, it became a debt on my heart.
Sure enough, people who have no conscience can live better.
I don’t know what the queen mother said to the emperor, in short, Luoer returned to my palace, and the emperor began to come to see him often. I guess after he ordered the East Factory to investigate, he found that my identity was really all right, and finally he was relieved.
The emperor has no son in front of him. Luoer is his only son. I want this only son to continue.
As Luo Er grew up, more and more intelligent and lovely, he came to my palace more and more days, but most of the time not to see me, just to see Luo Er, do not often spend the night in my palace, but I usually stay in the emperor’s meals. I was actually relieved that he no longer favored me.
I’m not that happy to serve my enemies.
The emperor was unconscious, and when he looked at Luoer, he had a real smile in his eyes. He taught Luoer to read and write, and listened to Luoer’s inarticulate call to his father.
I’m most grateful that Luo’s eyes don’t look like mine.
He did not often summon me, but he would summon other concubines. Over time, I found that the women who could be favored by him for a long time had one thing in common.
They are all obedient.
Perhaps there is also a ruthless side in private, such as Xu Linqing, but in front of the emperor is always gentle and obedient.
He really doesn’t like people disobeying him.
But there were so many concubines that none of them were pregnant again, and he never had a child again. When
Luo Er was five years old, one of the attendants was pregnant, and when she was three months pregnant, the imperial physician diagnosed her as a prince. Five years later, the emperor finally had another child. He was very happy and said that as long as the child was born, he would make Tang Xuanshi a concubine.
My maid’s words were not without worry: “Originally the emperor liked our big prince so much, but now Tang Xuanshi also has a prince, and in the future the emperor won’t put all his thoughts on the big prince..”
I smiled and ignored it.
Tang Xuanshi’s son, not to mention that there are so many pairs of eyes staring at whether she can be born or not, even if she can be born, it can not threaten my Luoer.
In August, Tang Xuanshi’s child was born safely. As the Imperial Physician said, he was a prince. She was promoted to be a concubine, and the emperor went to see her for many days in a row, but he didn’t come to see Luoer for a long time.
Too bad.
I thought so many women were eyeing covetously that Tang Pin’s child would not be born.
Of course, my pity is not that her children will compete with Luo Er for favor.
I feel sorry for her.
If the child had not been born, she would have come to a better end. Now that she had been born, it was her destiny to die tragically in the palace. When
Tang Pin’s child was one year old, there were rumors in the palace that the child did not seem to look like the emperor.
In fact, a one-year-old child, where can you see what it looks like? But as long as everyone has a nose and eyes, the things that are not there will become there. The emperor is not in charge of the affairs of the inner court, it seems that he did not hear the wind, but the queen mother is in control of every sign of trouble in the palace, in addition to the emperor, she is most worried about the royal blood.
But even if she is suspicious, this matter is not easy to investigate in a big way, after all, it is not good-looking. So even if there were rumors everywhere, Tang Pin and her children still lived well in the palace.
But she can’t be so carefree all the time. One day, when seeing the emperor, the supervisor of Qintian said that a year ago, Ziweiyuan had changed, but the situation was not clear, so he dared not report it rashly. Now a year has passed, the stars are clear, and it is clear that Jiao Mu Jiao rushed to Ziweiyuan, which is very bad.
Ziweiyuan represents the emperor. And Jiao Mu Jiao, the government and the public all know and Su Bai, the emperor hurriedly asked Jiao Mu Jiao Chong Ziweiyuan means what.
Qin Tianjian said that since the death of Su Bai, Jiao Mu Jiao was dim, but recently he saw Jiao Mu Jiao unusually bright. This is clearly a hint, or even a clear indication that this unusual horoscope is related to Su Bai. When
Su Baimao became an official, even the first emperor was still the crown prince. It was the emperor who was on the throne. The emperor was keen on alchemists. Su Baimao was born at the end of October and was in response to the horned star. Jiao Mu Jiao is the horn of the dragon, the emperor said that this is a good intention, can charge into battle for the emperor’s family, only to choose Su Bai as the emperor’s master, for a while spread as a beautiful talk, which everyone knows.
The emperor did not believe that a dead man could still rush his Ziweiyuan, unless Su Bai came back from the dead.
And Jianzheng said, of course, the dead can not come back to life, but the dead can enter the reincarnation, unless Su Bai was born again.
As a result, all the children born a year ago seemed to be a major threat to the emperor, but one of the children born a year ago was under his eyes.
He is the son of Tang Pin. On the day the
news was reported, the emperor was drunk, and when he was drunk, he came to my palace again.
I always feel that, perhaps in the depths of my heart, the emperor still has a dependence on my father, but this can not change the fact that my father has become a major threat to him.
The emperor was so drunk that he didn’t know anything, but he always said a few words in a drunken way, asking me if I believed that the dead would be specially reincarnated into his children to grind him.
And I whispered in his ear, “Your Majesty, do you know?”? When I was young, I heard that there was a mirror of Yin and Yang in the underworld. After death, people in the underworld could still see what happened in the world. The soul with resentment may be born into the child of the enemy, and this life will be revenge.
I don’t know how drunk the emperor was and whether he listened or not. Anyway, he never saw Tang Pin and her children again.
Tang Pin and the prince suddenly fell out of favor, which made the already boiling rumors even more rampant, and finally spread to the emperor’s ears. I kept an eye on the Palace of Heavenly Purity and went to see the emperor when he summoned the Tang concubines and princes. The father-in-law beside
the emperor told me that the emperor had ordered me to see no one today. I said that I asked to see the matter of today, and asked the emperor to see me anyway.
Sure enough, when I went in, the emperor and the innocent child were doing blood tests, and the blood dissolved, and the so-called child born by Su Bai seemed to have been proved to be his bone and blood.
I picked up the silver needle on the table and pricked my finger, and the blood from my fingertips dripped into the bowl, dissolving with the blood of the emperor and the prince.
Tang Pin’s face changed greatly on the spot. I knelt down in front of the emperor and said, Your Majesty, I have seen such a scene when I was young. Later I learned that anyone’s blood can dissolve in each other. This proves nothing.
The emperor looked at me with a cold face. “How do you know what I’m going to do today?”
“Rumors have been going on in the palace for a long time, so naturally it’s not hard to guess.”
“Are you watching my every move?”
My concubine is the emperor’s concubine. The emperor is my concubine’s heaven, the heaven of the whole harem. My concubine naturally wants to pay attention to it. Perhaps my concubine doesn’t want you to be deceived more than emperor. I ask the emperor to punish me.
He did not speak, but asked me to go back to the palace.
Later, I learned that Tang Pin was secretly taken away by the people of the East Factory that day. Not to mention the punishment of the East Factory, Tang Pin’s pampered body could not carry it, and he confessed in detail.
She had been unable to conceive a child and wanted to compete for favor. The child was borrowed from a bodyguard.
I know it’s true. It’s certainly not a confession. From the day the news of her pregnancy came out, I knew it was definitely not the emperor’s child.
Because the harem has no children for five years, the responsibility is all on me.
In Jikong Temple for more than ten years, both doctors and astrologers have dabbled in astrology, thanks to the abbot. Whenever
I left him in the palace for dinner, I added something to his meal.
Apart from Luo Er, he would never have a second prince.
Tang Pin and the child were secretly executed, and they said they were suddenly ill. But in this way, it is tantamount to confirming the rumor that the child is not the emperor’s own. Finally, the queen mother dealt with some people, and the rumors gradually subsided.
But even if it calms down, it’s still in people’s hearts. Some things are not so easy to forget. After
this incident, the emperor had a serious illness, and then his body never recovered. He drank all the year round, lingered in the harem, and did not miss the political affairs. When he was young, he had a leg disease. Now, when this matter was aroused, the overt and covert diseases broke out together, and his body collapsed. Often at this time the courtiers have to fight for the reserve, but now at this time, it is nothing to fight for.
After all, there is only one prince, Luo Er.
With or without the crown prince, he is undoubtedly the crown prince.
I often take Luo Er to see the emperor and serve the emperor’s decoction. One day, when I retired, the emperor suddenly stopped me and ordered someone to take Luo out. There was only me and the emperor in the
bedroom, and the emperor stared at me, to be exact, at my eyes.
“You are very clever. I have always known it.”
I don’t speak.
So if Lori has you by her side.. I am at ease.
He didn’t finish, but it sounded like he was asking for help.
In fact, he is far from the point where his time is coming. If he takes good care of himself, he can still live for some years. I can afford to wait, and so can Lor.
But he probably knew that there was no difference between living like this and dying, and that he had no energy to deal with state affairs anyway.
The next day, the emperor rarely dragged his sick body to the court, and the eunuch in charge of the seal read out the imperial edict to the civil and military officials of the Manchu court to establish Luoer as the reserve.
The emperor did not live too long, lingering in bed for four years, and finally Longyu Bintian. In a trance,
I felt that this was some kind of reincarnation.
Luo Er is ten years old.
The emperor was ten years old when he ascended the throne.
But the emperor did not leave Luo a character like my father.
Before the emperor died, when he was dying, all the concubines in the palace knelt beside his bed, and Luo Er knelt closest.
The emperor beckoned to Luoer and told him to listen to me, to listen to the queen mother, to study hard and learn the way of governing the country.
Luo Er actually does not quite understand, but before bringing him, I said that no matter what the father said to him, he must agree. So he nodded his head vigorously and answered one by one.
With Luoer’s assurance, the emperor looked at me and motioned me over.
“I want to sit down. Come and help me.”
I went to help the emperor up and put a pillow behind him. With a wave of his hand, he said, “Let everyone else go down.”
The others left the bedroom, but Luoer was still there.
“Luo Er is going too.”
Finally, it’s just the two of us.
The emperor coughed violently, recovered after a moment, and when he spoke again, his voice was low and hoarse. He
‘s not the man we first met ten years ago.
You must ask the queen mother to help you. She knows how to deal with such a situation.
“I understand.”
“Be nice to Luo. Study hard, but don’t be too strict.”
“I understand.”
“And..”
The emperor stopped breathing for a long time. He
can’t say anymore. Every word
he says now is the last bit of his life.
I have to keep him alive. Listen to me.
So before the emperor opened his mouth, I offered him a cup of tea and said, “Your Majesty, please listen to me.”
The emperor took the teacup and nodded slightly.
“Does the emperor often think that my face, or my eyes, look like an old friend of yours?”
The emperor had already passed the teacup to his mouth and suddenly stopped.
I stood up and looked down at him.
“Your Majesty, my surname is not Yun, but Su.”
The teacup fell down on the brocade quilt, and the tea soaked the cloth.
Su Pai Teng had a daughter who was living outside, and she escaped with her life. Your Majesty, I am Su Pai Tien’s daughter, and the only crown prince you can trust is Su Pai Tien’s grandson.
The emperor suddenly raised his head, moving so quickly that he did not look like a dying man. His mouth was open in vain, but he could not say anything.
Do you know why you have no more children? Because I must have Luoer on the throne, and I won’t let you have any more children.
He gasped violently, and his pale face was now as white as paper.
Let me tell you what happens next.
Luo Er has no ability to govern. I will issue an edict in the name of Luo Er to reverse the verdict of Su Bai and restore all the honors he deserves. I will recall Ma You. Everything you fear will come back. I will tell Luo Er, Su Bai is a pillar of the minister, has the ability of longitude and latitude, and how wrong you did. After your death, your merits and demerits will not only be judged by history books, but also by your own son. You want to get rid of him so much, but you can’t. Even your son has his blood on him, and his daughter has been with you for ten years.
The emperor’s panting stopped.
He’s alive, but he can’t do anything about it.
For a long time, his head suddenly tilted down.
I reached out and he was silent. After the
funeral, Lor was enthroned.
I did not ask the queen mother as the emperor said, and now the empress Dowager came out.
I am very grateful to her for her protection and help, but unfortunately one mountain can not tolerate two tigers. Now that she’s only in her forties, does she have anything to do with me when she returns to power? The first thing
Luo Er did after he ascended the throne was to reverse the verdict of Su Bai.
No one knows my relationship with Su Bai. When the emperor was dying, I was alone with him for so long that everyone thought it was the emperor’s will, so I pushed the boat along. Is it not interesting for the
world to think that he personally destroyed the door of Su Bai and reversed his verdict when he died? Everyone will think that he is out of guilt, and the world will understand that this is a complete injustice.
I recalled Grandfather Ma, who grew vegetables in Nanjing. At this juncture, the inner court needs him. Old as he is, he can hold out for another two years. The first thing Grand
father Ma did when he came back was to pay his respects to the late emperor, and then to pay his respects to me, the queen mother. I gave him a seat, and after ten years of separation, he was much older than I remembered.
He paid a visit to me to thank me and to resign.
“Empress Dowager, the old slave is too old to bear this great responsibility.”
“I see you still have a bright eye and a bright heart.” Grand
father Ma smiled and said, “Empress Dowager, it’s not right for me to ask you a question.”. Is it the will of the late emperor, or is it your own will, to reverse the verdict on Su Hsiang-yeh?
“It doesn’t matter who means what. It matters what is done.”
He bowed his head to drink tea and stopped talking.
He did not speak, so I did not speak, so silent for a long time, he finally spoke.
“The Empress Dowager was really able to endure it, but the old slave didn’t expect that it would be ten years.”
So what do you think? I will take every opportunity to kill the late emperor and call you back? Is this what you expected?
He was silent for a short time, then said, “The queen mother should not put the death penalty on the old slave’s head.”
This is the default. Grandfather
Ma, I also want to ask you something you shouldn’t ask. When you saw the late emperor grow up, did you really have no feelings at all?
“Love is divided.” Grandfather Ma stared at the design on the teacup without looking at me. Affection is mutual. Only the old slave’s affection, you see, almost the same end with Su Xiangye. Thanks to you, the old slave has had this life to live on. Although
he said so, I was there when he went to worship the late emperor. The tears
he shed at that time did not seem to be false.
You’re welcome. I thank you, too. As you said, love is mutual. I have saved your life, and you have saved mine. I know that.
He put down his teacup and gave a wry smile.
“But after all, that’s the child that the old slave watched grow up.”
Not a king above ten thousand, but a child he watched grow up.
I think for my father, the first emperor is also the child he watched grow up. But the children he watched grow up did not allow him.
I returned Grandfather Ma’s former house and allowed him to live in peace in the capital. The last question he asked me before I left the palace was whether it was worth spending ten years and the rest of my life on freedom? Is
it worth it? I don’t really know.
I’ve done all I can.
The dead are gone, and no matter how much the living do, they can’t make up for it.
I wonder if my father can rest in peace in his grave.
If he can rest in peace, it’s worth it.
Fan Wai
Yun Xia has a pair of eyes exactly like Su Bai’s.
This pair of eyes let me choose her among many beautiful girls, and let me lose my temper in front of her. For a
long time, I didn’t know why I chose her. I care about those eyes, but I don’t want to face them, or I am afraid to face them.
Yes, fear.
This is something I have never wanted to admit. When
I succeeded to the throne, there were three people who sheltered me from all the storms.
Mother, mate, and Mr. Su.
This has lasted for ten years.
Ten years is a short time. Ten years is long enough for me to grow up from an ignorant child. Can
people live every day exactly the same? I can. Before I got married, every day of my life was exactly the same. My mother lived with me. In the morning, she woke me up to read and then went to court. He came back for breakfast and played with Mr. Su. If you don’t understand, listen. If you don’t understand, learn. After lunch, I continued to study. Mr. Su would come to the palace at any time to check my homework. If I didn’t do it well, I would be scolded by him. Everyone
says that I am the emperor and the most noble person in the world, but I think Su Bai is more noble than me.
I can call everyone by his first name, but I have to call him sir. I want to salute him, I want to accept his supervision and reprimand, only when he plays, there will always be a chair. I can’t contradict him, I can’t disobey him, because my mother and my companion told me that everything Mr. Su said was right.
I’m afraid of him.
I was afraid that he would stare at me when I made a mistake, which seemed calm but disappointed, and his eyes were burning, which made people uneasy, during which he seemed to hide the sharp blade of judgment, which would break through at any time.
Sometimes I feel vaguely that my mother and her companion want to turn me into another Mr. Su. But there are no two people who are exactly the same in the world. I followed him to study, learned the emperor’s strategy, and absorbed all his ideas. As time went on, I gradually learned to read his mind and say what he liked to hear.
But that’s not what I think.
I am the emperor. But I have to guess what my courtiers think.
Mother is a very gentle person, but she will punish me and scold me because I make Su Bai angry. Every time she was angry with me, it was because of Su Bai.
On one occasion, when Mr. Su came to check my homework, I failed to recite the article “It’s Difficult for Yan Zi Not to Die” that he assigned, and I was reprimanded by him. After being scolded, he asked me what I had read from the article.
I said, I read that Yan Zi was an unqualified courtier. The monarch wants the minister to die, and the minister is not loyal to death. How could he not only not die when he should be martyred, but also find fault with the emperor at length? Mr.
Su is angry. He said that what he wanted me to understand was that even a monarch would be criticized if he was not virtuous, and that I had to learn to accept those who told the truth and could face my mistakes. Do I have to understand what
he wants me to understand?
This time Mr. Su was so angry that even his mother was so angry that he didn’t say a word to me for three days.
Only my companion coaxed me in a good voice, but he said that I should go and admit my mistake to Mr. Su.
I feel like I’m living in his shadow all the time, and I can’t see any light. Everyone is on his side.
Occasionally, I imagine what my father is like. As I grew older, my memory of him grew dimmer. Gradually, I felt that perhaps the so-called father was like Su Bai.
I just go from day to day. It was not until I had a companion reading, which was about the same age as me, and chatted with them that I learned that there were so many interesting things among the people that they could play with friends, that they did not need to read Yan Zi’s Immortal Monarch, that they would not be asked what they had read every time they learned an article, and that their mother would not stop talking to them for three days because they had a conflict with their teacher. They will not live every day repeatedly. After
knowing this, I was suddenly very sad. At dinner, I told my mother that it would be better if I were not the emperor. My mother, who
had always been gentle, slapped me. A burning pain on
my face.
I don’t know when these days will end, but there is no other way but to be patient.
If my desire was just to be free when I was young, when I grew up, it went out of shape.
Because at that time, I already understood that as the emperor, I could not have real freedom. But even that limited freedom, I can not get, there is only one way to get, that is, I become a real emperor.
I want to govern.
When I told my mother what I thought, she threw me only one sentence.
I want to govern unless Mr. Su dies. As long as Mr. Su is here, I must listen to Mr. Su.
I often think, in that case, why did he teach me those imperial strategies? Anyway, I just have to listen to him. Is the
real emperor me or him?
The situation didn’t improve until I got married. Because after the wedding, my mother finally moved out of my palace.
She will no longer wake me up before dawn, no longer accompany me when I read, no longer help me when Su Bai scolds me.
I feel like I feel a little bit of freedom. I’m happiest when I’m
with a woman. They are so obedient and tender that they will not disobey me and will try their best to serve me comfortably. I just wish I had all these people in front of me.
But such a small thing, once caught by Mr. Su, will also be a big fuss.
I’m just with three ladies of the court. Which of the women in the court is not mine except my mother?
But it was caught by the mother. My mother told me to kneel in the Hall of Ancestral Worship, which lasted for seven hours.
Seven hours later, she carried me to Su Bai.
At that moment, I suddenly felt great shame. But not because of the daytime publicity, but because even if it is such a secret, I can not escape the accusation of Su Bai.
He enveloped my whole life.
Not even that little bit of freedom is false.
This is a matter that only the inner palace knows, but Su Bai asked me to write a letter to the government and the public.
This is in front of Man Chao and Wen Wu, tearing my face and beating me.
I knelt for seven hours until I lost consciousness in my legs. My mother didn’t even ask the Imperial Physician to look at me. She insisted that I finish writing the letter of sin according to the meaning of Su Bai.
When I finished writing, my mother called the Imperial Physician.
But it was too late.
Seven hours later, something happened to my knees, and my legs fell into permanent trouble. Will the
mother and Su Bai feel guilty? I don’t know. I can never see any emotion on his face except anger. He always has that expression and that face. I’ve done enough of
this emperor. I’ve had enough of
Su Bai. Countless times, countless times,
I have thought of dismissing his official position, sending him back to his hometown, far away from me, and never having a chance to control me again. But first of all, I can’t get past the queen mother. Such an idea grew stronger day by day in my heart, and in the end, I felt that his official position was not enough to relieve his anger.
I want to kill him.
Later, he became ill.
Frankly speaking, I was glad at that time, just like a mountain overhead was finally going to be removed.
During the period of his illness, I was finally able to govern, although according to my mother’s wishes, I still had to send a companion to report to him in detail, but he had no energy to manage.
I realized how difficult it is to deal with these multifarious political affairs and balance the situation.
But so what?
I don’t believe I can’t do better than him on my own.
I am the emperor, the real emperor.
He’s finally dead. No one can stand against me anymore, no one can stand on my head anymore. I became a real emperor. I liquidated him with lightning speed. Intellectually, I know that what he did has nothing to do with his family, but he’s gone, and who else can I release the pressure I’ve accumulated over the past ten years? No
wonder, if you want to blame them, they are Su Bai’s family.
My mother retired to the palace and no longer asked about the government, and my companion was much more cautious in front of me. The front court of the harem is finally all mine.
But it’s scary. I suddenly dreamed of him that night when more than eighty people starved to death in
Su Bai’s house. In the
dream, he still had the same face and stared at me with the same eyes, asking me what his family had done wrong.
The dead won’t come back for me. They won’t. Is he asking me or am I asking myself?
This is far from the most terrible.
The most terrible thing is that when I really began to govern, there were many times when I found that his teachings were right.
Sometimes I deliberately don’t do what he says, and the final result is often unsatisfactory. I clearly know how to do, but I seem to fall into a strange circle, as long as I do what he taught, is not as good as him, is to become his replica, that is, he will never, never, never die!
He lived on me in a different way! After
realizing this, I dreamed of him more frequently. He asked me everything in his dreams, but I couldn’t give any answer.
I felt my debt to him day and night, because I gradually understood his pains.
But even so, I still can’t forgive. I can
‘t forgive my dignity as a son of heaven being trampled underfoot. I
can’t forgive the fact that he will be with me all his life, even if he dies. I can
‘t forgive him for being the person I can never get rid of.
This emotion and his understanding and debt are entangled day by day, and eventually become inseparable. I began to rush to the doctor. I urgently felt that I needed to make up for him and ease the guilt. I didn’t want to feel guilty at all, but I could not avoid feeling guilty day by day!
Until I saw Yunxia’s eyes, in a trance, I saw Su Bai’s face from her face.
At that time, I felt like I had lost my mind, and I thought I could make up for Su Bai on her.
But after she entered the palace, I don’t want to see her again, I don’t want to see her again, I don’t want to think of Su Bai again, to see her again means that I will think of him again and again, I can’t get rid of him in my life?
But even so, when I saw her being bullied at the palace banquet, I couldn’t help it.
I always see Su Bai on her face. Those eyes were so similar that I thought she had something to do with Su Bai. But all the people of the Su Bai family have been disposed of, dead and exiled, no fish slipped through the net, she is really not.
Nightmares haunt me day by day, becoming more violent when I see her eyes. I can’t stand her staring at me quietly with those eyes, like the ghost of Su Bai, who is still pestering me.
So when I sent her to the cold palace, I actually felt relieved.
It was the same relief as when Su Bai was liquidated.
I find that I have a lot of people and things I don’t want to face, and at this time, I often choose to let them stay away from me and can no longer pester me. In the ten years when someone sheltered me from the wind and rain, I have long been used to escape.
I can’t face a lot of things. This is probably the only thing that Su Bai has not taught me.
As fate would have it, she conceived my child and gave birth to my only son. Gradually, I was able to separate her from Su Bai.
But I still did not let Luo Er stay with her, anyway, I still do not like her kind of woman. I always like people who are obedient. So I gave Luo Er to De Fei.
She came to beg me, but I didn’t see her, so she knelt at the gate of the palace. I made up my mind not to see her anyway, but as she knelt longer and longer, I thought of myself.
I remembered that my mother had told me to kneel in Hall of Ancestral Worship for seven hours. If I knelt like this, my legs would fall ill. I knew it all too well.
That flash of softness made me let her in, but after I let her in, I began to regret it.
She has a pair of eyes like Su Bai, even the eyes are like, the expression is like, it seems that the disposition is like. Why won’t she give in?
But in the end, I got Carol back to her.
She’s a very smart person. When I was dying, I felt that she had assisted Carol, just as my mother had assisted me. I’m not worried about the government. I’m just afraid that Luoer will become another me.
Don’t become another me.
Facts have proved that I worry too much, Luo Er will not become another me.
Su Bai’s ghost really possessed her and pestered me endlessly.
She is the daughter of Su Bai, and Luo is the grandson of Su Bai. The man I couldn’t get rid of all my life, even if he died, finally polluted the royal blood in his own way.
Not only me, but also the future generations can not get rid of the entanglement of Su Bai.
It’s just that they don’t have nightmares every night like I do.
At the last moment before losing consciousness, I just felt that the cloud flaw was my retribution, the retribution brought to me by Su Bai. What would I say to him
if I met Su Bai in the underworld?
No, I will not meet him, Qin Tianjian said he was born, Jiao Mu Jiao Chong Ziweiyuan, that Jiao Mu Jiao is his birth. And I killed his earthly child. I couldn’t kill him when he was alive. He gave birth to me and I finally killed him once.
It’s just that I can’t feel relieved. I won’t meet him when I
go to hell. If I die, can I be free?
There’s nothing left to think about.
Darkness drowns me.
Not reconciled, always want to stay in the world longer, but the darkness in front of me can not resist, it is difficult to get rid of.
And in the darkness I seemed to hear the last sound.
“Your Majesty, you are dead.”
(End of the full text)
Author: Bailifeng
Record No.: YX01jj78jo5aZAk9R
Published on 2022-07-07 12:04. Reprint
is prohibited. There are 9 left. Days of expiration, minimum 9 & # x2F; monthly renewal fee, free participation in thousands of courses
, two happy
old friends sigh: do not ask the end of the song, people gather and disperse
, Li Yanli, etc
. ×
