First love, old love, new love
. My boss is a bastard who deserves to be struck by thunder. Every time
he goes on a blind date, he asks me to pretend to be his girlfriend.
As a result, he ended up with a good reputation of infatuation, and all I got was the gossip about the gold digger. Whoever likes to be
the assistant should be the assistant!
Brother, the project of Hong Kong City has been handed over to you for half a year, but you haven’t pushed it forward yet? You don’t work every day?
I questioned the man opposite who lowered his head. He looked at me humbly and lowered his head again.
“At last for you..”
I turned to look at Yanqi, who squinted lazily and held out three fingers like an uncle.
“In the end, I’ll give you three weeks. If you don’t win this project, you’re done.”
The director submissively agreed and withdrew from the office.
I smiled apologetically at Yan Qi: “General Manager Yan, are you satisfied with my performance just now?”
Yanqi, a bastard, refused to offend others, and every time he sent me, a humble assistant, to make my already smelly popularity worse.
Yenzi raised his eyes, nodded and commented, “Not bad.”
As soon as he breathed a sigh of relief, Yanqi gave me a gentle knife: “But what I want to say is three days, not three weeks.”. Assistant Hsu, how could you get that wrong again?
“General Manager Yan, I’m too stupid. Why don’t you come in person for friendly communication with your subordinates in the future?”
Yanzi stopped looking at the document and stared up at me. I was frightened by him.
“Hsu Yi, why did I choose you as my assistant?”
I was silent for a moment.
“Because I swear.”
“Get out.”
“All right, General Manager Yan.”
I, Xu Yi, graduated from a famous school, worked hard and had outstanding ability. I worked diligently for three years, but I was only a small supervisor. But one day, Yanqi found out that I was a curse genius and was promoted exceptionally.
A year ago, when I got on the elevator, the heel of my high-heeled shoe got stuck in the crack of the elevator. During the rush hour, an elevator colleague was speechless and choked.
I held the elevator door tightly in both hands and pulled my left leg and right leg to pull out my shoes, but a man kicked me from behind.
I lost my weight and threw myself forward. The shoe also flew out of my foot, and the heel was completely separated from the body.
“Oh, Supervisor Hsu, I’m sorry. Come on, get up quickly.”
I turned around and saw it clearly. The white supervisor of the other group blamed me for robbing his project, and the communique had a personal vendetta.
I helped myself to the ground and stood up. “Did you kick?”
His little eyes shone with sly stupidity. “I’m trying to help you. Do you mind?”
I picked up my shoes, pushed him out of the elevator before he could react, and pressed the door button.
Supervisor Bai was about to close the door and was anxious to go up, so I reached out my hand to stop it.
“What are you doing?” Pay off your
debts. You broke my shoe by kicking it, and you have to pay for it. These shoes aren’t expensive either, but if they’re new, you can pay for them at the original price. I’m not doing
this because I have a problem with him and I want to embarrass him. There are too many people in the company who have a quarrel with me, and I can’t take care of them. I just love my shoes and my money.
I know I’m a little morbid about money, but I can’t help it. It’s in my DNA.
“Hsu Yi, you’re not finished..” He took one look at his colleagues coming and going at the elevator and lowered his voice: “Aren’t you ashamed? What about a pair of shoes?” “So cut the crap and pay,”
I said coldly.
He looked scared of me and turned the money around.
I click on the mobile phone to check.
“Xu Yi, I heard that you have a very good relationship with General Manager Xu, the first party of the C project, and he even invited you to his home.” As he spoke, his eyes were restless, and he looked me up and down and said, “Indeed, a beautiful woman should make use of her own advantages. Otherwise, your breasts and legs, oh, and your face, what a waste.”
The stench that comes to my face.
“Supervisor Bai, when your mother gave birth to you, did she go to a lot of trouble?”
He was stunned. “What do you mean?”
“Originally, I created you like this in order to prevent puppy love, but I didn’t expect that if I completely cut off your thoughts, I wouldn’t even be able to do quack. It’s really amazing.”
I was good at drawing a duckling.
His face suddenly changed. “You’re a woman. Why are you talking like this?”
“My roommate’s Teddy is in heat these days. I think he’s a good match for you. Would you like me to introduce you?”
He was silent.
I rolled my eyes and was about to add a few more words when I heard him call out, “General Manager Yan.” As soon as
I turned my head, Yanqi stood behind me for an unknown length of time.
“General Manager Yan.”
I called out, too.
He nodded lazily and got on the elevator.
Colleagues are quite puzzled, how he took the staff elevator, this is not to beat workers to add confusion.
Everyone consciously did not take the same car with him.
“Supervisor Xu, come up.” Yanqi and
I are separated by at least five levels. We don’t have a chance to meet at ordinary times. How does he know me?
I followed him to the elevator with my broken shoes. The heart is perturbed, he will not hear me talk nonsense to open me, right? Just as he was beating a drum in
his heart, he heard him say, “Your toes are very thoughtful.”
What do you mean?
I looked down and saw that the stockings had already broken a big hole, and my thumb was hanging outside at a glance. It’s
annoying, and it costs money.
I joked, “Yes, it’s all in its mind.”
Yanzi: I heard what you just scolded that male colleague. Why do you scold him?
What do you mean, help him get justice? Boyshelpboys？
“Because I experienced a slut humiliation under the gaze of a man. If it weren’t for the company, I would have scratched him up and down.”
Yanqi commented: “The tongue is as bright as a lotus, full of energy, and has a good sense of rhythm.”. That’s a good scolding.
I was slightly surprised.
Yanqi looks very serious, and his brain circuit is so strange?
“The company needs people like you. Come and work for me. Report tomorrow.” I was shocked to
see the back of him leaving. Is there any chance for the company to be led by
such an unreliable person?
Actually, I met Yanzi many years ago.
My fruit shop demolition, with developers for several years, really can not carry, demolition.
Our three brothers and sisters still have feelings for this fruit stall. My parents were running
this shop when they were alive. Later, they passed away one after another. In order to support me and my brother Xu Lv, my brother Xu Li took over the mess after he dropped out of college. Not to mention
Xu Lv, he was carried behind by Xu Li from the time of the diaper. He grew into a little fat man in the aroma of melons, peaches and plums. I always said that my brother fed him fruit and fat from childhood.
Demolish it. How can ordinary people have the right to speak. In the year when
I finished the college entrance examination, the newly developed building occupied my land opened. At that time, I wanted to earn some living expenses to go to college, so I spent a little money I had saved and collected a second-hand starch sausage cart to walk through the streets.
I also entered the company many years later, only to know that this property is the company’s first exploration of the sinking market. At that time, there were many high-level people at the scene, and Yanqi was among them. He looked tall and straight among the middle-aged balding men. The whole person seemed to be a little free, and his eyes looked impatient wherever he went. People in the
small county town rarely see such a scene, riding an electric car, leading their grandchildren, carrying a shoulder pole, and pushing a cart like me, all watching the opening ceremony from a distance.
Watches are sold at the place where they are carried. Twenty is not allowed. (Don’t sell it in a place like this. It’s not allowed.)
The doorman stood in front of me and shouted at me.
“I’m not selling. I’m just looking.” I explain.
“How can you always see you selling it, and your mouth is so twisted?”? (I saw you sell it. Why is your mouth so hard?) I quarreled with him when I
heard him being importunate.
Noisy, the guard did not speak martial arts, but came to rob my car. I don’t know
when Yanqi came to watch the fun, but he was probably attracted by the villagers like me. Look at the freshness. When
the doorman saw the big boss, he put away his evil words. At that time,
I was thinking that they had torn down my fruit shop, so I hated him very much.
“Little girl, roast me a sausage, and I’ll make it easier for him.”
Yanqi, after I got to know him, I knew that his speaking habits were like this, with a little frivolity in his heart. If I met him for the first time, it would be hard not to be offended by his appearance.
I was a small-town kid, with a kind of gangsterism and roughness, and I didn’t know anything about class, wealth, and so on. So he took a heroic and unrighteous look.
“Then I’ll feed the dog.”
Every time I think about it, I break out in a cold sweat.
Fortunately, Yanqi certainly doesn’t remember the wild girl of that year.
“Hsu Yi!”
I was pulled back to my thoughts by Yanzi’s call. It’s
on fire. Why? I usually speak feebly, and I’m afraid the whole company can’t hear me when I call my name.
“General Manager Yan, please tell me.”
Yanzi glanced up at me.
I’m going on a blind date with Wen Zhixia at 7 pm. You too will go.
「…… All right. General Manager Yan, the overtime pay..
“Triple.”
“All right, I’ll remind you then.”
I left the office with an expressionless face, but I was cursing in my heart.
Since I became an assistant to Yanqi, my personal time has been basically exploited. When I get off work, he always takes me to all kinds of social activities, which makes me exhausted.
I don’t like to socialize, and before I became his assistant, I would rather spend my time planning, making plans, doing back tune, and doing everything that can help me win the project and get more commission, rather than eating, drinking and dancing with my colleagues.
I’m really in the money hole.
Because I want to buy a house for Xu Li and see a doctor for Xu Lv.
Xu Li is nearly 40 years old this year, and his blind date is yellow. When asked, he knew it was because he didn’t have a house. The house
they live in now was purchased with the demolition money, and Xu Li felt that he could not take it for himself. He used to study very well and was very smart. For so many years, he was both a brother and a father. He would rather drop out of school than support me to study and do a small business to support his younger brother and sister. I can’t ignore his affairs.
Xu Lv has congenital diabetes, need to constantly inject insulin, with hypoglycemic drugs to survive, he is fat because of hormones, not much to eat.
It takes a lot of money, so I have to earn it. As an assistant
to Yanqi for a year, I tried my best to cherish this job, but it seems that the more so, the more blurred his sense of boundaries, like tonight, I really can’t figure out why he must follow me. The second time
I met Yanqi was in the small theater where famous alumni came back to give speeches. As the executive director of the East China region of the company,
he made a series of brilliant speeches, and my classmates and I had bright eyes. I recognized him
naturally, but as I learned more about the world, I lost the hostile thoughts I had when I first met him, and I couldn’t help admiring him as he stood shining in the center of the crowd.
He aroused my desire for success in the secular sense. It was only
later that I learned that these people were all talking about doctrine and thinking about business. They were the best at using words like “dream, struggle, love, and faith” to package the essence of exploitation and brainwash young laborers who were not familiar with the world. Yanqi’s speech was just paving the way for the autumn move of that year. So
I entered the company, the so-called struggle to win the slogan of a better future as the standard, and even take the initiative to participate in the fight, just to earn a little more meager salary.
After work, Yanzi’s driver drove me to the restaurant.
Miss Hsu, General Manager Yan asked me to pick you up. There are blankets in the car so you can take a nap. I
was so tired that I fell asleep within two minutes. When I woke up
again, I was in the underground parking lot, and the driver was no longer there. I
was about to stretch, but I was startled by Yanqi, who was sitting next to me at some point.
He looked at me brightly, and I was annoyed. General
Manager Yan, I’m sorry, I fell asleep. That one I won’t be docked for overtime, will I?
Yenzi: “Look at your performance tonight.”
“From a woman’s point of view, can I make a suggestion?”
“You say.”
Although you have a special status, it’s really a bit pretentious to have an assistant on a blind date. I mean, although it’s helpful for you to create a pragmatic and capable persona, is it a little too deliberate? Of course, this is just my humble opinion. You have the right not to adopt it, or you can fart.
Yanzi didn’t speak.
In fact, I never meddle in his private affairs, although he always involves me, and I know a lot of people in his social circle, but my mouth is not cotton crotch, just sitting there listening and watching.
But today is different, today is the blind date Bureau, I still hope that he quickly get married, so that I do not always have to exploit.
“Let me re-emphasize your status today. Later, you will be my girlfriend and go with me to see Wen Zhixia.”
Yanqi is really a bastard. If you want to refuse a blind date, just say, can you let me do this kind of thing less.
Wen Zhixia is a standard socialite, even the height of the fork is carefully designed, I have seen her at the party before, and chatted with her several times, the relationship is still harmonious.
She was surprised to see me appear with Yanqi on her arm, but because of her good self-restraint, she greeted me warmly.
I secretly complained in my heart.
“I’ve seen that you two have an unusual relationship. Yanqi, you’re hiding deep enough.”
Wen Zhixia is very good at giving himself a step down and not embarrassing the other party. That’s right. Everyone is in the same circle. Making money is the most important thing. There’s no need to tear your face because of this.
Yen Chi: “Hsu Yi was too hard to pursue, and it took me a long time to get her approval.”
Wen Chih-hsia: “Indeed, Miss Hsu is really excellent. I admire her as a woman.”
I laughed again.
No matter how excellent you are, you are also a capitalist who is always on call to beat senior workers. Don’t do that, you two.
Then the two of them bragged about each other. I was quiet and didn’t want to interrupt.
Halfway through, Yanzi went outside to answer a phone call.
Wen Chih-hsia suddenly asked me, “Miss Hsu, have you ever heard of fishing for women?”
It seems that socialites are not bullied by others, but they are more willing to serve dishes.
I pulled the corners of my mouth and said, “I do mean that.”
She looked at me and snorted, “You’re honest.”
I did have the idea of being a fishing girl, but that was when I was in college.
College student, beautiful, poor, crazy about money.
These few words are just put there, and the impression is a play that goes astray.
I struggled to catch up with that circle, and then I found that it was not so easy to be a fishing girl.
Commodities can not have joy, anger, sorrow and joy, but can only have price, comply with the inner needs of the gold owner, and timely send emotional value.
I think if I am a person who can bend and stretch, maybe I can, but my character is just a hard bone, and I can’t earn this money.
Opposite Wen Zhixia where to know the difficulties of this world, and where to know how difficult it is for women from the bottom to win a place in the patriarchal society, relying solely on the strength of hard work. She won’t feel
these things.
“But it’s really a pity that you’re not fishing for a girl on this condition.”
Wen Zhixia said in a strange way.
I nodded and said, “Yes, it’s not like some people who have limited conditions and can’t get anything, so they have to rush to make the women laugh.”
Wen Zhixia turned green.
She looked down on her daughter, but her family did not use her as a bargaining chip.
It’s all pitiful. What are you doing here, young lady.
Wen Chih-hsia sneered, “People like you don’t deserve to eat at the same table with me.”
I stuffed a piece of steak into my mouth and said, “Don’t want to eat it. Go quickly. Don’t waste my old Yan’s money.”
When Wen Zhixia was angry, Yanqi came back.
“General Manager Yan, Miss Wen’s stomach is not feeling well, so I’ll go back first.”
I looked at the table and asked Yanqi, “It’s a waste. Can you pack it?” All of a sudden
, Yanqi let out a “giggle,” as if he had an autumn smile in his eyes.
He doesn’t laugh very often, and when he laughs, he’s sure to laugh.
I don’t mind his ridicule. He doesn’t eat it. Today’s meal must be packed. It’s so vulgar.
After dinner, Yanqi drove me home.
I asked him where the driver was.
He: “It’s closing time, and I’m not the kind of boss who screws his employees.”
Oh, you knew that? I thought you were blinded by lard?
Me: “I’m sorry to ask you to see me off.”
“It’s all right, save the fare.”
「……」
This son of a bitch knows my destiny. After two minutes of
walking, I was so tired that I fell asleep in the passenger seat. When
he woke up, the car had stopped downstairs in the company dormitory, Yanqi was smoking, and his long fingers gently brushed the ash out of the window.
Seeing me awake, he stubbed out his cigarette.
“Sorry, I’m choking you.”
I stared in a daze: “It doesn’t matter, General Manager Yan, please, I’ll..”
“Hsu Yi, how dare you be so arrogant today?”
His words made me wake up. The
change of face is really fast. Yanqi must have heard me talking nonsense to Wen Zhixia. Although
the Wen family is not as rich as Yanqi, it is a partner for many years after all. If I get into trouble, I will suffer.
My unforgiving mouth.
“I still don’t know how to roast sausages, but I’m getting more and more used to cursing.”
I was shocked. “Do you remember?”
He frowned and laughed at himself: “It’s the first time in my life that I’ve been scolded so miserably, and I’m still a beautiful little girl. It’s unforgettable.” Desperate,
I begged for mercy: “General Manager Yan, I was still young at that time. You must not have the same experience as me.”
“Of course. After all, I belong to your family.” He heard
that, too? I felt my face burning in an instant.
He stared at me for a long time.
“Hsu Yi, don’t tell me. I really don’t hate that fearless look of yours.” After saying goodbye
to Yanqi, my heart suddenly jumped, fearing that he would vent his anger and affect my work.
Yanqi’s mind is not so small, is it? It’s hard to say. How many years ago did he remember it.
Just upstairs, the phone rang, it was Xu Li.
He usually goes to bed early and has to go to the wholesale market early the next day. Why did he call me so late today?
I felt a sense of foreboding.
Hsu Yi, is it convenient for you to come back now? Lv Bao is in the hospital, with complications from diabetes. When
I ran downstairs in a hurry, Yanqi was still there.
“Why haven’t you left yet?”
“Why did you come down?”
I spoke with him in unison. I
didn’t have time to explain so much to him. I just said, “General Yan, my family is in the hospital. It’s a very urgent illness. I need to go back to my hometown and ask you for a few days off.”
Yenzi: “How do you get back?”
“Take the high-speed rail.”
“Get in.”
I hesitated for a moment and got into Yanzi’s car.
On the way, Yanqi asked me, “Is your brother seriously ill?”
I lost my mind at the moment and nodded along with his words.
“How can I help you?”
“Thank you. I’ll tell you if I need to. Thank you very much.”
Yanqi sighed inaudibly.
“Hsu Yi, why are you always so polite to me?”
I didn’t have the heart to think about the meaning of his words, so I said politely, “It should be.” When
I got out of the car, Yanzi stopped me.
“Xu Yi.”
I am calm on the surface, but I am very anxious in my heart.
“Do you need me to accompany you?”
I finally realized that Yanzi was a little too considerate today.
Thank you. No, I already feel guilty for delaying my work. What do
I feel guilty about? It’s not like I can’t turn around without the company. I was worried about my job, and I wanted to tell him that I had no choice but to ask for leave and not to raise my working attitude. I just realized it
on the high-speed rail. How did Yanqi know about my brother’s illness? When
I arrived at the hospital, it was more than 3 o’clock in the morning. Xu Lv’s illness is basically under control and has been transferred to the inpatient department. When
I went there, Xu Li was accompanying me beside the hospital bed. Xu Lv was sleeping soundly like a piglet, with a pile of colorful tubes on his body. The heart
hanging all the way was finally put down. In the safe passage of
the hospital, Xu Li told me that this time Xu Lv had diabetic ketoacidosis, which was very dangerous. Fortunately, he was sent to the hospital in time.
“Ah Yi, my brother knows how hard you work, and I didn’t want you to know, but I’m afraid Lv Bao won’t make it, and you’ll never see him again.”
Xu Li’s eyes are wet. He is not very old, but he has white hair on his head.
My nose is a little sour: “Why is he so serious this time?”? Wasn’t it very stable before?
Blame me for not watching him. Let him be bullied by bad boys.
Xu Li said that the children in the community had been ganging up to bully Xu Lv. He usually let Xu Lv stay in the shop and not contact them. Today, he had something to do and went out. When he came back, he saw Xu Lv being slapped on the ground. He
called him a fat pig with no father and no mother. He scolded me for being a bachelor who couldn’t get a wife. He scolded you for not dressing properly every time you came back. He looked like a young lady outside. When Lü Bao became agitated, he fell ill.
My heart is like being twisted by a meat grinder.
“This kind of talk may be heard by the children when the adults in the family are talking about it.”
“What happened to what the child said?”
I interrupted Xu Li, furious. Doesn’t it hurt when
they slap? What they say cannot do harm to Hsu Lü.
I was exhausted today, and when I heard that Xu Lv had been bullied, I couldn’t hold my temper and lost my temper at Xu Li. What about
you, Hsu Li? You’re not wrong at all, are you? You know they’re a bunch of bad guys, but you still dare to leave Lu Pao alone in the shop. Can’t you, an adult, even keep an eye on a child?
My roar echoed violently in the safe passage.
Xu Li froze and looked at me helplessly.
But if you’re not such a coward at ordinary times, how dare they bully Lv Bao casually! It’s the same thing this time. You have to swallow your pride again, don’t you? Can you stop worrying me about everything! I’m really tired! I’m
really tired and I can’t breathe.
“Hsu Li, you are really incompetent.”
I gave him a hard look and pushed the door to leave.
The next day, Xu Lv woke up and I gave him my new mobile phone.
He had a good state of mind, and he didn’t take it to heart when he was bullied. He kissed the mobile phone box happily.
“Sister, I love you!”
I said, Lv Bao, you are an adult, and the rule of the adult world is that whoever hits me will hit him.
He frowned, perhaps remembering something bad, and a painful expression appeared on his face.
I can’t bear it, but I have to teach him these principles.
“Sister, but I don’t like violence.”
I choked for a moment. Glancing at Xu Li next to him, he was looking at Xu Lv, his eyes full of heartache.
Yes, I am not bullied by others, and I am unable to fight back when I am beaten by the society.
I told Xu Lv to go back to work. Before I
left, Hsu Lu asked me, “When will you go home again?”
“Chinese New Year.”
Yes! And one, two, three..
He counted them on his fingers.
“We’ll be together in five months.”
Mmm. I’m leaving. You’re fine.
“Sister, you must come back soon.”
“Mmm.”
Out of the ward, I couldn’t help but burst into tears.
Three days later, I returned to the company and handed in my resignation letter.
5
“You’re resigning?”
Yanzi asked me.
“Yes, General Manager Yan, thank you for the company’s cultivation over the years. I..”
“Why?”
“The reason is in the letter.”
He cast the letter aside.
“I want to hear the real reason.”
“In my current position, there will be countless outstanding people fighting for it. You don’t have to be so angry.”
I saw Yanqi smile, and it was the first time I had seen him smile like this, and my heart tightened.
“Hsu Yi, don’t you want to be a fishing girl?”
Fishing girl?
I reacted for a while before I remembered that it was the time I had dinner with Wen Zhixia, and he listened to my words.
He walked towards me with deep eyes.
“Then why don’t you try fishing for me?”
I was stunned for a moment, then I understood and looked at him in surprise.
He took a deep breath, seemed to have made up his mind, and came forward and hugged me slowly. A
cold voice came to my ears.
“Hsu Yi, are you playing hard to get or are you really not seeing what I’m thinking?”
My heart wry smile, and want to cry, I am not wood, how can not be aware of.
I gently pushed him away.
“Yenzi, I’m mentally ill.”
I’m really sick.
I have been suffering from depression for some time.
I thought this disease was not a big problem, modern people who have not been a little sick, so I have been insisting on work, until I began to lose things, lack of concentration, lack of energy, only to find the seriousness of the problem. It was not until I went home
this time that I realized how unoptimistic my mental state was. I can’t control my emotions at all now, and I often feel great sorrow and joy, which brings disaster to the people around me.
After thinking about it for a few days, if I don’t rest assured of my illness, I may not be able to help myself. I can’t let go of the two people in my family. Although it’s important to make money, if I want to get better, I can only resign first.
And right now I don’t have the strength to think about relationships. Besides, who wants to be with a mental patient, I can’t protect myself, so there’s no need to drag others down.
But unexpectedly, after hearing my confession, Yenzi said, “I know.”
He told me that he had found me taking fluoxetine a long time ago, and combined with my daily behavior, he guessed that I might be suffering from depression, but because I had kept it secret, he pretended not to know.
Yanzi: “Is it the assistant’s hard work that makes you too tired?”
I shook my head helplessly, “No.”. It is entirely my own problem. After I
quit my job, I went to see a psychiatrist.
The doctor, surnamed Xu, an old man who likes to wear indigo socks and brown sandals, told me slowly that you need to know why you are depressed before you can cure depression.
“What the *** am I paying to hear you talk?”
I rubbed myself and stood up. Where is
your complaints department? I want to complain about you, you quack.
Yanqi waited for me in the waiting room, saw me rush out angrily, and hugged me hurriedly.
What’s the matter, Hsu Yi? You need to calm down.
I tried to break away from him.
I want to complain! It’s no use seeing a psychiatrist. No one can cure me! I’ll die! After
two minutes, I calmed down and began to cry.
I went back to the clinic to apologize to the doctor: “I’m sorry, Dr. Xu. I just got emotional. I’m sorry. I hope you can forgive me.” Dr.
Xu is smiling. He doesn’t have the same experience as me. I guess he has been doing this for many years and has seen too many people like me. After
seeing the doctor, Yanqi and I went to dinner. On the way, he talked to me about where the food was delicious.
I dissed him: “Yanqi, are you bored?”? That’s all you want to live for, isn’t it?
He froze.
I said to him, “What do you mean by that expression?”? I’m sorry, I quit my job. I don’t have to look at your face anymore. Even if you want to get angry, you have to hold it!
Yanzi was completely dumb. When the
bus arrived, I covered my face and cried again.
Hsu Yi? What’s wrong?
I cried and said, “You’ve been with me all morning, but I scolded you because you said a few words. Yanqi, stay away from me. I’m crazy. I’ll hurt you.”
He leaned over and gently wiped away my tears with his fingers.
“I’m the one who’s crazy. I think it’s cute to see you like this.”
I shook his hand and sobbed, “Next time I go to see Dr. Hsu, you can follow me.” Cure the love brain.
Yanzi: “… …”
After that, I went to see Dr. Xu several times one after another. Although it was not as serious as before, it did not make much progress.
Yanzi: “Why don’t you change a doctor? The old man doesn’t seem to work.”
Me: “No, I can talk to him.”
In fact, it was because when my father was alive, he also liked socks with sandals. I looked at Dr. Xu kindly.
When I think of my dad, I think of my brother. I didn’t have time to go to work
before, but now I’m finally free and I want to go back and see them.
Yanqi must follow, but also in the trunk with big bags and small bags do not know what, said to Xu Li and Xu Lv’s meeting gift.
“How can Chief Yen drive himself? What about the driver?”
I sat in the passenger seat and teased.
“Why should I wear a light bulb?”
I blushed and looked out of the window.
Think of the last time we met, with Xu Li is the end of the quarrel, the heart is a burst of pain. When I
went to the fruit shop to look for them, Hsu Lu saw me in the distance and exclaimed, “Brother!”! Look, my sister brought a man back! The mother sheet has blossomed!
I Shut up!
Man: “As an overlord, I haven’t heard such a simple and unadorned description for a long time.”
When Xu Li heard Xu Lv’s shouts, he pulled his shoes and came out of the shop to watch the fun.
Holy shit. Is it really a man?
My brother is usually quite calm, and there are not many things that can make him exclaim.
In the evening, Xu Li cooked a big table meal, so many that the table seemed a little cramped.
My face twitched. “Mr. Hsu Li, are we exaggerating too much?”
Hsu Li-yi says, “Now that the guests have come, our Hsu family will treat them well.”
While Yanqi was not paying attention, he whispered to me, “What does Xiaoyan do?”? How is it that the four bodies are not diligent and the five grains are not divided?
Glancing again at the gifts piled up all over the living room, he said, “You can put on a good show.” Contrary
to Xu Li, Xu Lv, a little fat man, has obviously been bribed by sugar-coated shells.
Wow, this Gundam is great! I love it! Thank you, brother-in-law! How nice of my brother-in-law!
“Come on, I’ll buy you a hundred more if you like.”
“Long live my brother-in-law!”
When I looked at Yanqi, he had lost himself in the sound of “brother-in-law,” and his face was full of joy.
I
Because of the small space in my house, Xu Li was worried about how four people slept at night, and finally decided to let Yanqi and Xu Lv sleep in the big bedroom, I sleep in the small bedroom, and he sleep on the sofa.
Me: Brother, Yanqi doesn’t live here. He has a house here. That new building downtown, you know.
Hsu Li laboriously pulled out a quilt from the closet and said, “Oh, Xiao Yan is buying a house there.”. This guy.. The old fellow can.
“I didn’t buy it. He built it all.”
Xu Li’s hand slipped and the quilt hit the ground.
In the middle of the night, Hsu Li got up, turned on the light, and saw me sitting in the living room with my eyes staring like brass bells and my hair disheveled. I was so scared that my whole voice said, “Ow!”.
I looked at him bitterly with dark circles under my eyes. “I scared you to death.”
Hsu Li covered his heart and asked me, “Are you sick?”
I opened my mouth and denied, “No.”
He sighed, “I’m telling you, you don’t have to wear makeup to play Qiu Qianchi now.”
I subconsciously touched my face.
I really haven’t looked in the mirror for a long time. Is it so ugly? Did
you quit your job? Is it because of illness?
I wanted to tell him the truth, but there was no point in telling him anything other than worrying him.
Yanzi had to go back the next day because of business. Before he
left, he hugged me and said, “Hsu Yi, I’ll come and pick you up when I finish my work.” The peculiar smell of
his body penetrated into his breath.
I hugged him back. “Thank you for staying with me, Yenzi.” “Then get better soon,”
he said softly. I lived
in my hometown for a few days. Every morning, I followed Xu Li to purchase goods, transport goods, deliver goods, sell goods, look after children, and experience his daily life. The refrigerated cabinet in the
store has been in use for more than ten years, but it always makes a “leaking” sound, and the refrigeration function is not working. Every night we have to throw away a lot of bad fruit.
“Fruits like pears, guavas and cherries are afraid of losing water, but they also need to breathe, so wrap them in paper and put them in plastic bags..”
Xu Li deftly tied the mouth of the plastic bag slightly in a slipknot.
Like this, it keeps the air permeable and doesn’t stuffy the fruit. Have you gained knowledge?
He raised an eyebrow at me.
“I’m going out for a cigarette.”
I stood up and walked quickly to the door.
“Eh, when did you learn to smoke..”
Behind him came Xu Li’s voice.
He walked out of the shop, found a corner where no one was there, squatted on the ground, and burst into tears.
I always felt that I stole Xu Li’s life.
I’m a disgraceful thief, a bloodsucker. Why should
Xu Li sacrifice himself to raise his younger brother and sister? He was only 20 years old at that time. There were only a few good years in his life, but what was he doing? In order to earn dozens of yuan more, I worked from dawn to dusk.
He’s supposed to be in college. How can I live with myself?
And Xu Lv, why does he get sick, can’t die and can’t live well, has no contribution to the family, can only keep spending money like a bottomless pit, spend money!
I hate him. Without him, maybe Xu Li wouldn’t have to live such a mediocre life now, and I wouldn’t want to die again and again in order to make some money.
Yi! What are you doing?
Xu Li ran towards me and grabbed the fruit knife from my hand. The pain in my
arm woke me up a little.
I looked down and saw that it was a knife mark I had just made with my own hands, and it was bleeding ferociously.
Hsu Li picked me up from the ground and said, “What’s wrong with you?”
I cried until my vision was blurred. I tried to grab the knife from Hsu Li’s hand. “Let me die!”! Brother, please, please..
He threw the knife on the ground, kicked it away, took a bottle of ice water from the shop next door, unscrewed the lid, and poured it on my head without a drop. I was so
cold that I had a few shocks and finally calmed down.
He threw the empty bottle on the ground, panting, “Are you crazy?”? Ah
I was dragged back to the shop by him. He threw me a towel and said, “Wipe it yourself!”
I picked up the towel and wiped my hair mechanically like a lost soul.
Hsu Li pulled the door from the inside and said, “If you don’t tell me what’s going on today, you won’t be able to get out of this door!”! Let’s just spend it like this! Let’s see who won’t die.
That day, I said a lot of words, but I didn’t seem to say anything, because I really couldn’t figure out what had made me like this.
Maybe it’s like dominoes, pushing one over the other, and it’s a vicious circle that drives people to a desperate situation.
Xu Li only listened in silence and said nothing, but when I cried, he handed me a tissue from time to time. After
that day, life was as usual, and neither Xu Li nor I mentioned it again.
I bought a new refrigerator for the fruit shop, and Xu Li hugged and rubbed the new cabinet, wishing he could sleep with it.
Xu Lv was bullied by the neighbor’s children again. I took him and knocked on the door one by one.
“I have a copy of the surveillance camera in my hand, and I also have an injury report. Pay the money or apologize, you choose.”
So the children took turns to apologize to Xu Lv. After finally winning back his self-esteem,
Xu Lv cried and laughed in a rare way.
He said, “Sister, the little friend who lives upstairs finally talked to me. I’m so happy.”.
Yanqi said several times that he would come to me, but I fobbed it off. Angry and aggrieved, he finally sighed helplessly: “Xu Yi, how I wish you could miss me as much as I miss you.”
I smiled and changed the subject. Everything that
should be settled has been settled, and we can finally start. Dr.
Xu suggested that I leave my former residence for a period of time and go out for a walk to treat myself in this way. I’m going to trust him for once. Before
departure, I gave Xu Li a savings card, which contained the money he had earned from working day and night over the years, about 350,000 yuan, which was enough to pay the down payment in my hometown, and then left part of it to bear Xu Lv’s medical expenses. But Xu Li is determined not to.
I also morally kidnapped him: “If you want me to get better soon, you can take it. You should settle the marriage quickly. I want to have a sister-in-law.”
But this time he was as determined as I had ever seen him.
Ah Yi, the meaning of a person’s life is not based on such things as getting married, having children, buying a house, or getting a diploma. Of course it’s good, but it’s definitely not the end, nor is it a proof of oneself. That’s happiness as defined by others, not real happiness.
I’m a little bleary-eyed.
He touched my head carefully, just like when I was a child. The
family is the whole, but no one is an accessory to anyone. We want to hold together to keep warm, not to drag each other down. Live well for yourself in the future.
I went all the way south, slowly adapting to my new status as a backpacker, traveling while working.
I traveled all over the world to see the sunrise rushing out of the sea level, to feel the clear water and clouds, to see the white sails and fishing fires accompanied by the distant red clouds, to see the bright Aurora, spectacular waterfalls, singing with herdsmen on the vast grassland, accompanied by eagles, looking for history in the corner buildings, chatting with sofa owners, and integrating into every civilization I visited. Instead of overdrawing my life and health,
I learned to slow down. After a long and difficult self-healing, I gradually said goodbye to the once tense and depressed Xu Yi. Having
seen all kinds of people and met all kinds of life by chance, I really understood the meaning of Xu Li’s original words.
The so-called mountain or mountain, water or water, but it is no longer the mountain and water of the past.
Five years later, Xu Li got married and I went back to my hometown to attend the wedding.
9
“Sister!”! Sister! Someone shouted a few times in the
distance, and I followed the sound. It was Xu Lv, who had not seen him for five years and had become taller and stronger, waving at me with bared teeth and claws. Pedestrians at the
exit of the station looked askance.
He ran up to me and took my big backpack. “Sister, why are you so dark?”
「…… You’re still fat. Did I say something about you?
Hsu Lu scratches his head and struggles to remember: “Have I ever been thin?”
I touched his meaty face and said, “Don’t be ridiculous, Lv Bao.”
When I got home, Hsu Li-cheng was cooking with a spatula. When he saw me, he exclaimed, “Ah Yi, why are you so dark?”
I Can you change the words?
Then out of the kitchen came a girl in a yellow duckling apron, with a round little face, flat bangs, and a shallow little pear vortex. She smiled and waved at me: “Hello, Hsu Yi. My name is Yu Ge.”
Xu Li, this old cow, is hidden.
“Hello, sister-in-law.” My sister-in-law made
Yu Ge blush, and her voice was as thin as a mosquito’s. “Hello, sister-in-law,” she replied.
God damn it, it’s so cute.
The wedding was almost ready. When I checked the guest list with Xu Li, I saw the familiar name at a glance.
Xu Li said that Yanqi came to me many times after I left. Later, maybe he thought I would not come back, so he never came again. After Yanqi knew that Xu Li was going to get married, he helped to contact the hotel, but he never appeared again.
“By the way, Ah Yi, does Yan Qi know you’re back?”
I didn’t say anything. Since I left five years ago, I have deliberately cut off contact with him. Seeing that my expression was not right
, Hsu Li patted me on the shoulder and said with relief, “This is my sister. There are some things that I know are impossible, so I choose not to start. It’s really sober.”
I looked at Hsu Li with a sincere face and knocked off his hand. “Then you were wrong about me. I regret it very much now.”
Wedding day guests gathered, Xu Li a white suit, neat and elegant, with a white gauze dressed in a holy and solemn song, from a distance, it is right and pleasing to the eye. When
the newlyweds read their vows, the two of them cried into tears on the stage, followed by rustling sobs under the stage.
They didn’t have a new house, just a broken van, but no one here thought they would be unhappy.
I’ve seen too many people who can reason better than anyone else, but they do it in a different way. There are too few people who combine knowledge with action, and Xu Li did it.
A paper towel was suddenly handed to me. I was stunned for a moment and looked along the slender hand.
It turned out to be Yanqi.
I was so fascinated by the ceremony that I didn’t notice it.
I licked my dry lips, took them stiffly, and held them in my hand.
He sat down beside me and stared at me for a long time, without speaking, with a hundred emotions in his eyes.
I also looked at him, and unconsciously my eyes were full of tears.
“You..”
“Eh, lady, be careful..”
I was about to speak when the waiter spilled soup all over me. I was wearing a champagne-colored strapless dress
today, and the boiling soup came up against my skin. The pain made me gasp. The scalded area became red to the naked eye.
“I’m sorry, ma’am, I’m sorry..”
Yanqi frowned, simply wiped the filth on my body, took my hand and walked out.
“Where to?”
I finally said something.
“Cool the wound.”
When I got to the bathroom, Yanqi turned on the tap and guided me to bend down and take the water with both hands and quickly rush to the scald. After
a few minutes, when I felt less pain, Yanzi stopped.
My clothes were falling apart in the rain. I looked in the mirror and joked, “When I get wet, I lose my hair. I’m going to lose my hair.”
Yenzi: “You can’t change your nature.”
He took off his coat and handed it to me.
“Put it on first.” When I
got back to the scene, one of my relatives yelled at me, “Where have you been? I’m still waiting for you to lead the newlyweds to toast.”
She glanced at Yanqi and said, “Are you Hsu Yi’s boyfriend? Come and help them keep the wine out.”
In order not to let them drink too much, Yanqi and I took turns to help drink, and by the end of the last table, I was already a little dizzy.
Yanqi’s drinking capacity is much better than mine. When I was in the company, I was a little unsteady after every dinner party. Yanqi could still keep sober until one time, he fell down before me. I struggled to get him into the car, but he kissed me drunk, and I had no scruples about cooperating while he was in a hurry. I
was already depressed and didn’t want to get involved with him, so I went to work the next day and pretended that nothing had happened.
I once asked him when he fell in love with me and what I was worth. He said that at the beginning, it was his appearance and distinctive personality. Later, I couldn’t explain it clearly. I saw all your bad temper, greed for money, conceit, sensitivity and aloofness in my eyes, but I also thought they were cute. It was really incomprehensible. The
guests left one after another, and I was helped to sit in an unknown position.
“Yenzi.”
I hung my head and called to him.
He stood in front of me and waited patiently.
“If I say, I want to try..”
Yenzi’s cell phone rang. It was a lovely nursery rhyme, in a style he had never used before.
“Dad, Dad..” A babbling baby appeared
opposite, probably just learning to speak, sucking his fingers and calling vaguely. With a gentle look on his face
, Yen Chi said, “Xiao Bao has woken up. Have you eaten yet?”
“As soon as Xiao Bao got up, he said he wanted to find his father. He’s really a little person.” A sweet female voice came from
the opposite side, and I recognized it as Wen Zhixia’s. The
two of them greeted each other with the usual couple talk of where they had been and when they would be back. I was on one side, and somehow I felt a distortion around me.
After an unknown length of time, Yanqi hung up the video.
“Hsu Yi, what did you just say?”
I smiled. “Are you leaving?”? I’ll see you off.
Yenzi seemed to hesitate to speak, but at last he only said, “Let’s go.”
I took off my coat and handed it to him. He hesitated and took it.
Watching his car go some distance, I dialed Yanqi’s phone. A few busy beeps came from the
phone, as if centuries had passed.
“Hsu Yi?”
I took a deep breath and said the deafening words in my heart in as smooth a tone as possible.
I apologize to you for leaving without saying goodbye five years ago. I’m sorry. It was the most selfish thing I’ve ever done, and I paid the price of losing you. Yes, Yenzi, as you think, I loved you many years ago, and I still do, but you are someone else’s husband. It’s time for
me to let go of the past and walk the next part of the way.
Goodbye. May you always be happy. After saying goodbye
to the past, I said goodbye to my family.
I’m really going to start the next journey.
“Sister, can I go with you?”
Xu Lv looked at me expectantly.
I hesitated and finally nodded.
“Don’t interrupt my date with a man, boy.”
Two days later, I took the train with Xu Lv, who had never been out of the county town because of illness in my life. The
train goes to the countryside, small towns, forests, mountains and lakes, taking me to what I long for, through what I have lost, and back to the beginning of chaos, and so on. Every place I
go has only one name.
Spring.
We will sail into spring.
Author: Jiu Pai
Record No.: YXX1lMMyl32c0009ZXQhZ28J
First love, old love, new love
, asteroid 6, etc
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