Xi Mo Ruyin’s
first love, old love, new love
that night, Gu Xiyin held an umbrella and waited for me for three hours in the pouring rain.
And I am holding the chocolate, in the western restaurant and the secret love of the male God Yu Haoran.
My good friend Coco’s phone calls were bombarded one after another: “Han Xiaomo!”! You’re ***ing crazy! Now that you’ve made an appointment with Ku Hsi-yin, why don’t you keep your word?
I hung my head and looked at the new leather shoes of the man in front of me, and I just wanted an answer. I loved him so hard and so deeply that I even abandoned everything about me.
I don’t believe he’s not tempted.
Finally, he said lightly, “Good.”
From the first time I saw Yu Haoran, I fell hopelessly in love with him. A fortune-teller
once told me that my future husband was handsome and tall, with a cool temperament, like a bright moon.
Said that the person looked at me, can see into my heart.
This is Yu Haoran.
He fits all my fantasies about my partner, handsome and tall, with a hint of my favorite mint fragrance in my life.
I was crazy about him. I loved him and wanted to give everything I had to this man.
But he is always cold and light, far and near, at arm’s length.
I stood at the door of his dormitory and watched the lights go out. The cold wind made my hands red with cold.
A thick woolen overcoat covered my shoulder, and Gu Xiyin grabbed my frozen hand and put it into my sleeve.
“Are you stupid?” There was a smile in his voice as usual, and a trace of bitterness that could not be explained.
“Don’t wait, go back.” He scratched my nose. “I wish I could be a popsicle.”
I looked up suddenly and persistently in the direction of the dormitory and said,
“His QQ signature says that he accepts all interesting souls.”
“Xiyin, do you think I am an interesting soul?”
Gu Xiyin was stupefied for a moment. He took a deep look at me and said,
“Momo, of course you are.”
Gu Xiyin is my childhood sweetheart who has been with me for twelve years. We
were neighbors. We went to and from school together, did homework together, read comic books and played video games together. When he was a child, he was weak
, half a head shorter than me, and often bullied by boys in the same class.
I beat the boys away with a homemade straw whip, shouting, “I took care of him!”! Next time you mess with him, I’ll make you suffer!
Looking back at Gu Xiyin, he was secretly wiping his tears.
Where does it hurt? Let me see. I walked over with concern.
He quickly turned his back, then turned to me and smiled. “Momo, I will protect you in the future.”
“Well, you’re much weaker than I am. I’ll protect you.” I laughed heartily.
Gu Xiyin pouted and ignored me.
Now he has grown into a handsome man of 185, with strong muscles and a smile like a child.
I still talked about everything with him, but most of the topics I talked about were about Yu Haoran. Yu Haoran and
I met for the first time in the freshman fraternity.
He stood on the stage in a white shirt, shining like the only star in the night sky.
My heart was ignited at that moment.
Gu Xiyin stood next to me, he turned to look at me, I can not take my eyes off the front, fists can not help but clench.
I began to inquire about Yu Haoran’s news everywhere and had the cheek to ask for his WeChat. I sent him chocolates on Valentine’s Day and snowy moon cakes on Mid-Autumn Festival, all of which were made by myself. There are many suitors around
Yu Haoran. My condition is not good, so I can only work harder and love him more than others. I firmly believe that my love is not inferior to anyone else.
Yu Hao-ran did not refuse my offer. He always nodded or smiled softly and said, “Thanks for your hard work.”
It’s not hard. How can it be hard to love someone. Every minute I spent with him was more sweet than I had ever tasted in more than twenty years. The
school gradually began to spread rumors about me.
“Little Mo, the anonymous forum called you a whore and indiscreet.” My roommate Coco held up her cell phone to me and said, “Keep your distance from your male God. Someone is going to *** you.”
“It doesn’t matter.” I shrugged with indifference. It’s just that other admirers think I’m too threatening, and I don’t care about these people. I just want to be closer to him, closer.
I ran out of the dormitory with a palette and disposable gloves. Today is the day when Yu Haoran paints oil paintings once a week.
I like to sit next to him, help him with his coloring, and look at his perfect side face. He ran into Gu Xiyin, who was
waiting downstairs, holding a lunch box in his hand.
“Momo, this is the Pumpkin Congee I bought for you. Drink it while it’s hot.”
“You had stomach trouble again the day before yesterday. The food in the canteen is too greasy for you. It’s better to eat something light.”
Gu Xiyin showed a warm smile and opened the lunch box with one hand.
I have had stomach trouble for many years. In fact, as long as you eat on time, stomach trouble will not break out.
Before I accompanied Yu Haoran to paint oil paintings for a whole day, I didn’t eat anything, and when I came back to my dormitory at night, my stomach was so painful that I clenched together.
It hurts. It hurts. It hurts so much that I want to die.
But for my God, it’s nothing to suffer a little.
I refused Gu Xiyin. “No more. Yu Haoran is waiting for me.”
His eyes darkened. He took my hand and said, “You still want to have a stomachache!”! It is not too late to go to him after eating.
I could not resist Gu Xiyin and stood at the door of the dormitory and picked up the porridge. He asked me if the porridge was hot and delicious, but I didn’t bother to reply to him.
I finished eating, wiped my mouth and ran out. Gu Xiyin was left alone to clean up the lunch box in silence. The
art festival is coming, and the school encourages students to display their talents.
I pulled Yu Haoran to sing a duet between men and women, but Yu Haoran refused me lightly, saying that he was elected as a judge.
“Little Mo, don’t you know how to play the piano? When will you show me your skills?” He said.
The male God wants to hear me play the piano, and I want to laugh in my dreams. Isn’t this a good chance for me to show off my skills! When I
passed by the piano room, I heard the melodious sound of the violin coming from inside, and a familiar figure stood there, like a perfect statue in the sunshine.
When Ku Hsi-yin finished playing a song, she looked back at me and smiled, “Momo, am I making progress again?” Shall we form a program for the
Art Festival? How beautiful it is to play the piano and the violin together!
He walk quickly towards me, his eye sparkling with that sea. What is a good piece to
play? Just play..
“Let’s play the Butterfly Lovers.”
In fact, I know what he is thinking. Always knew.
But my heart has been unreservedly given to Yu Haoran, I have no time to take into account the feelings of other people. When I was in
high school, he and I were musical prodigies, and we were indispensable to all kinds of theatrical performances. We were ridiculed by people around us as the “golden couple.”. As
he listened, he lowered his head and smiled shyly, but I always disagreed.
“Do you think we will one day perform in the Golden Hall of Vienna?” Once he asked me seriously.
“Well, that’s for the best artists in the world. We’re not even close.”
“Then we will strive to become the best artists.”
“Then come on, great artist.” I teased.
“Maybe in the future I’ll play in a tavern and you’ll play in a big theater. We’ll both have a bright future.”
I yawned and patted him on the shoulder. “I’m going to take a nap.”. “
He stood there in silence for a long time and said in an inaudible voice,
” I would like to play in the cave as long as I am with you. It
was soft, but I heard it. The spotlight of the
stage focused on me and Gu Xiyin. The spaciousness of the
piano and the lingering of the violin are intertwined, resulting in an unparalleled chemical reaction. In the sobbing melody, I noticed that all the people present were moved by us, including Yu Haoran, who was sitting in the first row. At the end of the
song, the applause was thunderous. Yu Haoran stood up and applauded me with a smile on his face.
Gu Xiyin looked at me with jumping eyes. He slowly put down his violin and wanted to pull me to the middle of the stage for a curtain call. I,
on the other hand, stood up quickly, rushed off the stage, and took Yu Haoran in my arms and kissed him.
Surrounded by a cry of surprise, there are boys unwilling to have girls angry. Many people began to take pictures with their mobile phones. Which department is
this? It’s too bold!
It’s just the one before. What’s your name, Xiao Mo? Haoran has been pestering our family all day.
My God! They’re still kissing! I haven’t even parted my mouth..
Yu Haoran was just surprised for a moment, then hugged my waist and deepened the kiss. He and
I became the focus of the whole audience. When
his lips left me, I felt the oxygen was drained and my feet were soft.
In the midst of the cheers and laughter around me, I noticed the man I had left on the stage. His hand was shaking as he
held the violin. The warm light of the
stage hit his bangs and cast a fine shadow.
I couldn’t look him in the eye. I dare
not look at his expression of heartbreak.
I had a fight with some girls.
They surrounded me in the back garden because I kissed their God.
I came to the infirmary with a black and blue face, and the medical teacher happened to be absent.
Pick up the mobile phone habitually want to find Gu Xiyin, but hesitated for a moment, finally called cocoa.
Five minutes later, Coco appeared at the door of the infirmary and saw my face.
These shameless people! I’ve disfigured you! Hurry to apply the medicine. Hurry to apply the medicine. Oh, what can I do if I leave a scar?
“No,” I said, winking. “I gave them a few smacks, too.”
“How dare you laugh!” “I hate that iron doesn’t turn into steel.” Yu Haoran is also strange. Why didn’t he let you be his girlfriend? ”
I lowered my head and recalled the way he had rejected me after the performance. “Maybe he’s not ready yet.”
This guy just wants to hang you! Don’t take the initiative and don’t refuse. It’s the old routine of scum. Xiao Mo, are you obsessed? What’s so good about him? Might as well..
Before he had finished speaking, Gu Xiyin appeared breathlessly at the door.
He was supposed to be in an experimental class at this time. After hearing the news of my injury, did you run all the way across a campus from the laboratory building.
He looked at my black and blue face and frowned. His eyes were full of heartache that was about to overflow.
Actually.. It’s not as serious as you see. I smiled shyly.
“I asked him to come.” Coco patted me on the shoulder and walked out the door.
Gu Xiyin nodded to thank her, then took a towel and soaked it in water, then took an ice cube from the freezer and wrapped it in a towel on my right face.
He was very close, less than half a foot away from me. The T-shirt on his body emitted the smell of sunshine baking.
“Xi Yin, I..”
“Don’t say anything.” Gu Xiyin interrupted me, he let me take the towel to continue to apply, while rummaging in the glass cabinet, and finally found a bottle of mercurochrome.
He dipped a cotton swab into it and applied it carefully to the cut on my forehead.
Although he applied it slowly and carefully, I frowned in pain.
Gu Xiyin stopped and blew on the wound. I felt chilly and comfortable. He blew two mouthfuls and continued to paint.
“Can you take me with you in the next fight?” I
didn’t expect him to say that, and I looked up at him in surprise.
“You are as stubborn as a wild ox. You can’t pull ten horses back.” Gu Xiyin threw the cotton swab into the trash can. “It’s impossible for you not to fight. Remember to call me next time. I’ll help you beat up those guys.”
“Xi Yin..” I plucked up my courage and called to him, “Do you know what I was beaten for?”
Because I kissed Yu Haoran without authorization. In full view of the public,
I put you aside and kissed Yu Haoran secretly.
He turned his back to me and did not speak for a long time. Of course
he does.
After a long time, I heard him say softly,
“Momo, my wish is that you can always be healthy and happy.”
“I don’t really care about the rest.”
You’re lying.
You said you didn’t care. Why are your shoulders shaking?
Yu Haoran is particularly cold to me these days.
He no longer asked me to paint with him, and the snacks I gave him were always returned.
I knew he liked to drink ice, so I slipped out of the campus and bought it for him at Starbucks outside. I sent it to the lecture theatre where he had classes, but I couldn’t find him.
I sent him hundreds of WeChat, waiting from day to night with my eyes open, and finally he said, “I’ve been busy all day, so I’ll go to bed first.” What
‘s he up to? Why didn’t you tell me? I can do anything for him.
I gently stroked my lips, recalling the strength of his sucking on my lips that day.
Yu Haoran, you also like me a little, right.
Even if it’s just a little bit.
The next morning, I saw Yu Haoran and a girl walking hand in hand on the playground.
I rubbed my eyes and thought I was still dreaming.
The girl was a little shorter than me, and she could lean her head against his shoulder. Yeah, one of the girls who beat me up the other day. The flame of
jealousy was devouring my reason, and I wanted to rush over and separate the two of them. Why was there someone else standing beside him.
No, no, he can only be with me.
Later, I saw Yu Haoran turn his head slightly sideways, smiling gently at the girl, and his eyebrows and eyes curved into crescents.
He never smiled at me like that!
To me, he always nods gently, or purses his lips and smiles, unwilling to give me more expressions than that. The flame of
jealousy was poured from head to foot by a basin of cold water, and I stood where I was, unable to move, and could only watch their receding figures.
In the evening, I got myself drunk in the bar. After drinking one cup of liquor after another, the stomach was burning numb and painful, and the nerves were burning, but the pain of the heart was not relieved at all.
Hao ran, Hao ran.. I read his name over and over again and poured myself a glass of wine until the hand holding the glass was held down.
Even though the air is saturated with alcohol, I can still smell the unique smell of sunshine. Gu Xiyin took the glass away with one hand and stroked my hair with the other.
“Momo, stop drinking. Let’s go home.”
I stared at the man in front of me, whose eyes were filled with sparkling water. In this misty bar, it is still the same clarity.
“Is my soul not interesting enough?” I asked him.
“Enough already, Momo.”
“What can I do to make myself more interesting?”
“You’re drunk. I’ll take you home.”
I have given my heart to him! Xi Yin, I have given my heart to him! Why won’t he even look at me?
“Then why won’t you look at me?” When
Gu Xiyin roared out this sentence, his shoulders trembled.
My eyes were already blurred, and tears flowed all over my face. I wanted to get the bottle, but Gu Xiyin took it first and poured it into his mouth. He drank all the wine he had left. Holding my shoulder, he forced me to face him and said to me word by word,
“Momo, Yu Haoran doesn’t like this.”
Yu Hao-ran doesn’t like people who don’t want to eat and drink for him. He doesn’t like people who fight everywhere for him and make themselves black and blue. He doesn’t like people who are out of their minds and drink to drown their sorrows. He likes people who cherish themselves, and he likes independent people who live for themselves.
“Does he like it or do you like it?” I tried to look at him with the last trace of clarity.
“It doesn’t matter what I like.” There was bitterness in his voice. “Will you become what I like?”
I wanted to refute something, but finally my eyes turned black and I fainted in his arms. When I woke up
again, I was being carried by Gu Xiyin across the street under the flashing neon lights. The wind in the
night blew on my face, and it was a little cold.
Ku Hsi-yin, aware of my awakening, walked more slowly and softly. He said,
“I can’t get into school at this point now.”. Let’s just stay at my aunt’s house for one night. It’s just around the corner.
“Mmm.” His aunt is a very smiling and warm-hearted woman. I have met her several times.
We didn’t speak for a long time, and when I was about to fall asleep again, I heard him sigh.
“Momo, how can someone who really loves you let you get drunk alone in the middle of the night?”
I clenched the material on his chest and loosened it. I suddenly realized that I hadn’t seen Gu Xiyin’s smile for a long time.
He used to laugh so much.
These two days, I have been thinking over and over again that maybe I should put my messy life back on track.
When I opened the WeChat, Yu Haoran’s dialog box had been quiet for three days, and the last one I sent him was “Want to see you.”. “Emma, it’s so touching. It’s so touching. Why can’t I meet such an affectionate man?
” Coco sniffed as she wept while watching the show.
I gave her a dirty look and said, “Then go and fall in love.”
She gave me an eye knife with her backhand. “Looking for someone like Yu Haoran?”? Come on, men in real life don’t smell as good as they do on TV.
Coco tilted her head, as if suddenly thinking of something, and said, “If Gu Xiyin confesses to me like this, maybe he can.”
He’s quite single-minded. Who doesn’t like a single-minded man. Unfortunately, one piece was really paid by mistake. I felt
a shock in my heart and an unspeakable emotion invaded my limbs and bones. I heard myself say in a sullen voice, “If you like him, go after him.”
Coco gave a sneer and went back to watching her play. Bored,
I swiped my phone and saw the news of the musical “Romeo and Juliet” tour. This is the play that Gu Xiyin and I have always wanted to see. We have seen the official shooting before, but we have never been to the scene in person. Those classic arias are already familiar with the heart.
I dialed his phone and listened to his breathing as he picked up the phone. “Here comes Romeo and Juliet. Want to see?” After a pause on the other end of the
phone, Ku Hsi-yin’s voice came, brighter than usual. “You still remember.”
I touched my nose and said, “So this Saturday?”? The tour will only last a week, and if you miss it, you won’t know that the next time will be the Year of the Monkey.
“Sure, I’ll book the tickets.” Ku Hsi-yin answered cheerfully, “Maybe we can get a good seat if we book now.”
“Momo..”
“What’s the matter?”
“The matter of Yu Hao-ran..”
“I want to give up.”
“Really?” I heard the sound of Gu Xiyin inhaling, and then said in an almost inaudible voice, “Give up.” It is true that
I want to give up Yu Haoran. Before he came into my life, I had never been so embarrassed as I am now. I, Han Xiaomo, boasted that I could take it up and put it down, but for the first time in this man, I tasted the taste of breaking people’s intestines.
On Saturday afternoon, there was a heavy downpour in the sky.
In addition to the rain and hail, the cold air carried everything through the city. I
got into the taxi I had booked and suddenly a phone call came in.
It’s Yu Haoran.
I looked at these three words and my heart began to vibrate violently. It was the first time he had called me since I knew him. Trembling, I pressed the answer button.
“Xiao Mo, I miss you. Will you accompany me?”
Yu Haoran’s voice came from the other end of the phone, unable to hear what emotion it was.
Today is the Lantern Festival. You said you’d spend Glutinous Rice Balls for Lantern Festival with me. It’s
really the Lantern Festival today, although I completely forgot about it.
I used to run after Yu Haoran’s buttocks, clamoring to accompany him on every festival, Valentine’s Day, Mid-Autumn Festival, New Year’s Day Glutinous Rice Balls for Lantern Festival National Day, I have to accompany him.
“Where are you?” I say.
“I’ll send you the address.” “I’ll wait for you,” he chuckled, a little spoiled.
He sent me the address of a Western restaurant, and I asked the driver to change the destination. It is false to
say that we should give up. At the moment of seeing his name and hearing his voice, all the psychological construction done in advance was vulnerable and defeated.
I want to see him. This kind of thought is like a vine growing crazily, wrapping my heart tightly, wrapping three layers inside and three layers outside, and no more sunshine.
I called Gu Xiyin, and he picked me up and asked me where I was.
He said he had arrived at the gate of the theatre.
He said you should take your time and take your time. Pay attention to the large and small puddles on the roadside.
I gritted my teeth and was silent for half a minute. I said, “I’m not coming. I’m sorry.” The other end of the
phone was quiet for half a minute.
I voluntarily hung up the phone. I dare not listen to his voice again, and I dare not wait for his reply.
Later, Gu Xiyin made two more phone calls, which were cut off by me. I turned into the western restaurant with the chocolate I bought in the gift shop
next door.
Let’s make a formal confession today. Is there a better day to express your love than today? The rain
outside the window was getting heavier and heavier, and the wind was howling against the window lattice. Yu Haoran, wearing a dark blue shirt, sat quietly in the innermost position. When he saw me coming, he raised the corners of his mouth to show a beautiful smile.
“There you are, Mo.”
I put on my umbrella and carefully took the chocolate out of my arms and handed it to him. Go out
with me. I like you. I didn’t look into his eyes as I
spoke, I just stared at his shoes. What will his eyes look like? Is it surprise, pondering, disgust or no waves in the ancient well?
I don’t want to read his eyes. I want to hear him tell me.
I left all the love, no turning back to follow, in the end can pry his heart, I want to hear him say.
After a while, he said lightly, “Good.”
I looked up at him, and he was smiling and saying, “Little Mo, you’re the funniest.”
That night, Coco blew up my cell phone. She said, “Why don’t you keep your word?” She said, “Do you know that Gu Xiyin waited for you for three hours at the gate of the theater? Where are you?”.
I said, I am accompanying Yu Haoran. “You’re ***ing crazy,
” Coco scolded.
I think I’m really crazy, but I can’t help myself. I took Yu Haoran’s hand and interlocked his fingers, and approached him to smell the mint fragrance on his body. Now I finally got what I wanted and became his girlfriend.
The heart was not swept by the expected excitement, on the contrary, it was somewhat empty, as if something important had been lost.
—.
He is so desperate to wait in the rain, stubborn and stubborn, guarding the glimmer of hope. I am never the only one who is
desperate.
He may also be waiting for an ending, whether happy or sad, the musical has an ending, and the grand story will eventually come to an end.
Romeo sings: Love is a kiss with fire.
Juliet sings: Love is warm with the sun. The end of the
story tells us that love is also inseparable. After
Yu Haoran became my boyfriend, he often took me everywhere.
He likes to go to the art gallery in the city and take a look at the new exhibition every month.
I don’t know anything about these impressionistic things, and I have no appreciation ability. He stared at a painting and studied it carefully, while I just stared at him or lowered my head to play with my mobile phone.
“Little Mo, look what this is.” He asked me, pointing to a picture with the name “Woman in Red Dress” written in a small frame.
“Uh, a big rooster?” I scratch my head.
Yu Hao-ran burst out laughing, “My little Mo is so cute.”
“It does look like a rooster.” I said unconvinced.
“Well, it’s kind of like that.” Holding back a smile, he took my hand and said, “Would you like to get something to eat?”
We stopped at a Haagen-Dazs. At the beginning of spring, not many people came to buy ice cream.
I went into the shop and sat down by the window. Yu Haoran asked me what flavor I wanted. I said I wanted rum. Back in the three years of
high school, every hot and dry weather, Gu Xiyin would buy a rum ball, sprinkle nuts in a small box, and hand it to me. Rum ice cream is mellow in the mouth, which dispels all the heat.
I asked Gu Xiyin why she didn’t buy one for herself. He shook his head and said he didn’t want to eat. I know it’s not that he doesn’t want to, but he thinks it’s too expensive. So I found another spoon, and the two of us dug and ate together.
At that time, happiness was always very simple, and the heart was easily filled with tiny happiness.
I saw Yu Haoran coming to me with a cone in one hand. Both of them are vanilla.
“The rum is gone.” “I brought you one just like mine,” he explained.
I began to regret that I didn’t say more to him just now. If the rum was not available, I would pick a flavor at random, but not vanilla.
Vanilla is the flavor I hated since I was a child.
Yu Haoran looked at me staring at the cone in a daze and asked me why I didn’t eat it. Not wanting to spoil his fun,
I nibbled and frowned.
In fact, people’s taste will also change, and then the unpalatable food will be used to eating.
I looked at Yu Haoran’s calm eyes, and somehow I always thought of those eyes full of sparkling sea water.
I sent Gu Xiyin a WeChat to ask him how he was, and he replied that I had recovered and could come to school in two days. Staring at the dialog box,
I always felt that I should say something else, typing and deleting, deleting and typing, and finally sighing and pressing the screen button.
I forced myself to focus on Yu Haoran, as I had always done before.
Yu Haoran’s casual pants are a little scratched. Let’s go to Raffles this weekend and buy one for him.
“The second typhoon of this year, Shinuo, will make landfall in the city tonight, with a wind force of 17. It is a super typhoon. Please be careful when you travel.” The forecast on the radio reflected the gray sky, and I looked out of the window. The first typhoon of spring was finally coming.
I thought that few people would go shopping on this windy Saturday, but I met the last person I wanted to see in the mall. Gu Xiyin and
I looked at each other, holding the casual pants we had just bought for Yu Haoran.
“What a coincidence! Ha ha ha!” I gave a dry laugh. “I came to buy pants for Haoran.”
Ku Hsi-yin’s eyes darkened for a moment, then turned into a smiling expression. “I’ve come to buy pants, too.”
He added, “Buy it for myself.”
“Oh, oh.” I scratched my head and laughed, trying to resolve the awkwardness that pervaded the two of them.
“How is your health?” I have nothing to say.
“Completely recovered, as I told you.” Gu Xiyin looked at me with a smile, as if laughing at my memory of fish. I was so embarrassed that my toes scratched the ground and I wanted to find a hole in the ground.
“It’s too windy today. I’m going back after shopping. What about you?” He went ahead and said.
“I’m going back, too.” I walked behind him, his back was still so tall and straight, and his plain T-shirt outlined his shoulders and waist line.
Passing a corner, his body suddenly froze and remained motionless. Just as
I was about to ask him what had happened, Gu Xiyin suddenly turned around and framed my arm.
“Momo, don’t look.”
“What happened?” I broke away from him and looked forward, and saw two affectionate people on the rest seat.
My boyfriend, Yu Haoran, and a girl I don’t know.
The girl is holding a bowl of fruit, holding the top cherry and feeding it to Yu Haoran intimately. My boyfriend laughed and swallowed her up and licked her finger, which made the girl laugh.
I felt a flame running from the soles of my feet to the sky, and my whole body was trembling. Ignoring Gu Xiyin’s worried eyes, I walked to the man and woman step by step with red eyes.
Yu Haoran first saw me, he was surprised, pushed the girl to stand up, put on the same smile as before.
“Mo, I can explain.”
“This is my cousin..”
“Do you expect me to believe your story?” I growled, ignoring the stares of those around me.
I must look like an angry lioness now.
The girl was frightened by my roar and hid behind Yu Haoran. I rushed up to pull her clothes and was blocked by Yu Haoran.
“Han Hsiao-mo, you’re crazy!”
I threw my slacks in his face. I’m not crazy! You’re crazy!
“Look at you now. Do you have any decency?”
Decent? Watching my boyfriend cheat on me in public, do you still have to smile and wish you a hundred years of good union? Have you ever given me honor?
I roared as if I wanted to tear my heart out.
“Unreasonable.” Yu Haoran dropped this sentence, took the girl’s hand and left.
“Stop.” I ran after them, and today I must have an explanation, or I will not be reconciled.
Gu Xiyin was afraid that I would lose control of my emotions and followed me.
Yu Haoran walked so fast that I couldn’t catch up with him in high heels. Suddenly there was a sharp pain in my ankle, and I fell on the escalator handrail. I sprained my
ankle. The sharp pain in my
ankle made me groan. Yu Haoran seemed to hear it. He stopped and looked back at me with an indiscernible look.
I stood up, and behind me came Gu Xiyin’s anxious voice, “Momo, don’t chase me!”! Your feet are swollen!
I did not listen, stubbornly chasing Yu Haoran’s figure ran out of the mall. As soon as he went out, he was staggered by a gust of wind.
Stop chasing! He’s not worth it! In front of
me is Yu Haoran, behind is Gu Xiyin, three people stagger in the hunting wind.
No one was willing to yield a step, and no one stopped. What did
Gu Xiyin say in the back? The wind was too strong for me to hear.
Suddenly, there was a loud noise of a heavy object falling to the ground behind him.
When I looked back, a billboard that had been blown down by the wind was lying on the sidewalk. Gu Xiyin, under
the billboard, was already unconscious.
The heart seemed to be crushed from the inside, and the world was silent for a moment.
“Xi Yin!” I threw myself at him like crazy and tried to lift the damn billboard. The billboard did not move. Later, two or three middle-aged men passing by helped me lift up the billboard.
Gu Xiyin’s face was pale, the blood on his forehead flowed all over his face, and his breath was already inaudible.
Later, Gu Xiyin was in a coma for three days in the hospital. I was like a walking corpse, wandering around the hospital in a muddle.
I did this to him. It was my selfishness that hurt him.
If I hadn’t gone after Yu Haoran, he wouldn’t have suffered such a disaster.
I have stabbed him in the heart again and again, relying on his indulgence of me, and possibly on his feelings for me, hurting him and abandoning him again and again.
Now he’s lying in the operating room, and I have my limbs intact. How ironic!
Why it wasn’t me who got hit.
I used to think I was a fool for love, but I was wrong. I was a sinner. The word fool is too light to cover up all the evil I have done.
God punish me, I deserve to die, but don’t take Gu Xiyin away, he is so pure, so innocent.
I was afraid to go near the operating room, which was surrounded by his family. I dare not face them. I sat in the small garden next to the hospital, from day to night, holding my mobile phone tightly in my hand. The recliner was cold
at night. I put on an overcoat and went to sleep in a daze. In a trance, I saw a man wearing the casual pants I bought, with his hands in his pockets, coming to me and saying, “How is it? Is it handsome?”
When I looked up, it was the face that smiled without a trace of dust, and the sparkling sea in my eyes seemed to be warmed by the sun, shining like fragments. I laughed and said, “You look good in everything.”
My cell phone rang suddenly, pulling me back from my dream to the cold reality. I looked at the name on the screen, and there was a rare wave in my heart. I pressed the answer button.
Little Mo, are you all right? Are you still angry with me? I can really explain what happened
last time. Let’s make an appointment for dinner sometime. Also, I heard that your friend was hit by a billboard. Is it serious?
I took a deep breath. “Yu Haoran.”
“Hmm?”
“Let’s break up.” On the morning of the
fourth day, I finally waited for the phone call that I had been thinking about.
The doctor called to say that Gu Xiyin woke up.
I flushed my face in the bathroom, ignoring my wrinkled clothes, and went straight to the ward. Standing in the
ward, his parents were surprised to see me, and then nodded.
“Uncle, aunt, I’m sorry.” A strong sense of guilt welled up in my heart.
“I don’t blame you, Mo.” They say, “This is an act of God, which no one can imagine.”
I walked to Gu Xiyin, who was wrapped in a blue and white striped hospital gown, his whole body was thin, and his lips were bloodless.
I want to hold his hand, want to hold him, there are countless words to tell him. I
want to tell him that I regret it, that I love the wrong person, and that the self-righteous persistence of the past is so absurd. Can you give me a chance to turn over a new leaf? Let me start from the beginning and love him with my heart. When I got
to the bed, I heard him whisper,
“Who are you?”
Gu Xiyin doesn’t remember anything.
Doctors say that this is the loss of memory caused by brain stem injury, although currently being treated with medication, but whether the memory can be restored depends entirely on God’s will.
My aunt patted me on the shoulder and said, “He didn’t recognize us at all just now. He scared me silly.”
My heart is like a hot air balloon, just full of air rising slowly, it was punctured by a sharp object, and all of a sudden the air was released.
After all, he never gave me a chance to turn over a new leaf. I
‘m reaping what I have sown.
Gu Xiyin was surrounded by a group of people, looking nervous, and his hands kept kneading the corner of the quilt.
“Give him a break.” The doctor said, “It’s a slow process to recover his memory. Give him more time.”
After a period of time, Gu Xiyin’s parents and I took turns to look after him.
He had a comminuted fracture in his right hand, a thick, hard plaster cast, and was unable to eat on his own. I mashed the turtle meat and fed it to his mouth with a spoon. After eating quietly,
he stared at me for a while and said, “Thank you, Han Xiaomo.”
I smiled bitterly. “You used to call me Momo.”
“Oh.”
“Sorry.”
I shook my head. You don’t have to say you’re sorry. I am the one who should say sorry.
Gu Xiyin turned his thin face and looked at the Lily that had just bloomed at the head of the bed. He was so thin that his eyes were sunken.
“What was our relationship before?”
This sentence stung me. The scabby heart began to bleed again. I wanted to talk about my best friend, but then I felt that I was too shameless. What I had done to him was worthy of the words “best friend”.
“We were childhood sweethearts.” I say.
He laughed. “No wonder you took such good care of me.”
“It’s good to have you.” Guilty,
I turned my head away and looked out the window at the darkening sky. “Do you want to sleep for a while? I’ll draw the curtains for you.”
“No, I can’t sleep.” Ku Hsi-yin said, “Why don’t you tell me a story?”
His expectant look in his eyes made me unable to refuse. I brewed for a while and said, “Well..” Let’s tell a story about Miss Cat and Mr. Rabbit. Miss
Cat and Mr. Rabbit grew up together. Mr. Rabbit took good care of Miss Cat, catching the most delicious fish for her and sheltering her from the wind and rain. Mr. Rabbit loves Miss Cat very much and wants to be with her, but Miss Cat falls in love with Big Brother Dog in the next village. Miss
Cat pursued Big Brother Dog relentlessly and did a lot of silly things that hurt a lot of people, including Mr. Rabbit, who has always loved her. Mr. Rabbit didn’t mind the mistake she made, and he was nice to her as always.
“Later, when Mr. Rabbit was seriously ill and dying, Miss Cat realized how much she loved him, but it was too late.” “Do you think Miss Kitty is a fool?”
I said with tears in my eyes.
He did not look at me and seemed to be thinking about the story. After a while he said, “Miss Kitty is really a fool.”
“Mr. Rabbit is also very stupid.”
“Nine times out of ten there are disappointments in the world. If you can’t get a response, why should you be stubborn?”. Coming out
of the hospital, I still recall Gu Xiyin’s words in my mind. There are mixed feelings
in my heart, and I feel more sad and sad.
Gu Xiyin is now like this, is not God to put down his obsession, start again. I
should leave. I should step out of his life gracefully. Once I have brought him indelible pain, and I have nothing to do with it.
Han Xiaomo, let go! Let him get his life back! Do you want to hurt him again.
I crouched down and held my head, trying to get rid of the miscellaneous voices in my head.
The brain lets me quit, but the heart is reluctant to give up.
Waves of heart-wrenching pain split the shell of numbness and exposed the most central seed called love.
I want to love him well.
Even if he dislikes me, hates me, and pushes me away, I want to love him. When
I opened the door with Haagen-Dazs, he was playing Chaldas dance music in the history of NetEase Cloud.
Seeing me come in, he quipped, “So I used to like listening to classical music?”? I have such an elegant hobby.
“Not only do you love it, but you’re also a virtuoso.” I handed him the rum ice cream. “Try this. It’s delicious.”
He took a sip, his eyes lit up, and he killed the ice cream ball.
Sure enough, people’s preferences will not change easily.
I turned on my phone and pulled up a live version of the Chaldas dance song. I recorded it a long time ago when Gu Xiyin and I went to a symphony concert.
Gu Xiyin stared at the bow-drawing hand of the performer in the video and watched with rapt attention.
I put my hand on his shoulder and said, “You play better than he does.”. When your right hand recovers, we’ll play together.
I opened the video of our ensemble playing “Butterfly Lovers” at the festival.
The video was recorded by the art officer, the camera was very close, and our expressions were clear when we played.
I looked at the side of his face and smiled. Sure enough, he was the same Gu Xiyin. I can’t laugh in the next
second. I suddenly ran off the stage in the
camera. Then the camera shook violently. That’s the end of the video.
Ku Hsi-yin looked at me doubtfully. I scratched my head and smiled shyly.
“There was a little accident.”
Ku Hsi-yin didn’t intend to delve into it. He stretched himself and said, “Music is really a wonderful thing, isn’t it?”
“Listening to these songs, even the most melancholy feelings are swept away.” He looked at me with a smile as he held the instrument
with his left hand. “Isn’t that right?”
I looked at his expression and suddenly my eyes were red.
The eyes full of the sparkling sea came back.
I spent all my savings to buy a top-matching speaker for Gu Xiyin.
When I carried the huge speaker into the ward, Gu Xiyin’s eyes were straight.
“Did you buy a speaker or a refrigerator?” He teased me.
“Just listen to the sound quality. It’s a far cry from the cheap stuff on the market.”
I proudly crossed my waist and said, “Listen to Gagaku, the hardware has to keep up.”
“Well, I’m exhausted. Give me a break.”
Gu Xiyin jumped out of bed and squatted beside the speaker to look left and right, delighted like a seven-year-old child. There was a soft dull hair on
his head, and I reached out my hand to help him smooth it gently.
Gu Xiyin froze for a moment.
I was stunned and quickly withdrew my hand. Suddenly there was a quarrel
outside the door. We pushed the door to watch and saw a couple angry.
Boy: “The doctor told you not to eat spicy food. Why didn’t you listen?”
Girl: “I haven’t touched spicy food for three months. Do you want to suffocate me?”
Boy: Which is more important, the body or the appetite? Don’t hold my leg and complain of a stomachache later.
The girl shook off the boy’s hand and mumbled away.
I watched the young lovers bicker, suddenly recalled that Gu Xiyin was also a person who was not happy with spicy food. I had stomach trouble and couldn’t eat spicy food, so he accompanied me to eat light food. When I was in high school, I went out to look for food. Others ate spicy hot Haidilao, and I took him to eat plain noodles in clear soup. Sometimes when he was really greedy, he asked the boss for a bottle of chili powder and sprinkled it on his bowl of noodles.
I turned to Ku hsi-yin. “There’s a shop downstairs that sells spicy fried rice cake. Do you want to eat? I’ll go and buy some.”
Ku Hsi-yin winked at me and said, “OK, buy it quietly and don’t let my mother know.”
I bought two spicy fried rice cake, one for Gu Xiyin and one for myself. The aroma of the rice cake wafted all over the floor.
We ate rice cake with our forks and watched the traffic out of the window.
I was so hot that I had a handful of snot and tears, and I used three packs of tissues. Gu Xiyin said I looked like a red-nosed dwarf.
“How are you?” Ku Hsi-yin then handed me a pack of tissues. “If you can’t eat it, don’t force it.”
I raised my head and drank every drop of the soup.
“It’s so enjoyable!”
This is the first time I have eaten spicy food since I got stomach trouble.
Some things, knowing that they can’t be done, still want to try.
Eat a spicy or love a person, this life is too short, I just do not regret.
Coco called to remind me that I had been absent from school for two weeks.
If I don’t go to class, I will lose my grades this semester.
I tidied up my textbooks and went straight to the classroom, where I was stopped by a tall figure at the door.
Yu Haoran wanted to grab my arm, and I took a step back.
“We’ve broken up. What else do you have?”
Why, Little Mo? You used to love me so much! Yu Haoran said anxiously.
I snigger in my heart, this school grass male God, never only he dumped others, the first time I met someone dumped him, naturally it was puzzling.
“Not anymore.” I said with a straight face.
“You throw my heart away and make me live like a clown.”
“I don’t want to sing with you anymore.”
Yu Hao-ran pressed my shoulder and said, “Give me another chance, will you?”
“Little Mo, give me another chance. I will be a good boyfriend and love you with all my heart.”
“It’s too late.” I pushed his hand away and smiled coolly.
“I’ve fallen in love with someone else.”
Coco sent a WeChat asking me if I really kicked the scum, and I said yes.
Coco sent a winning cat’s head.
What a great joy! This is not a good celebration! In the small restaurant next to the
school, Coco opened a bottle of red wine, saying that she wanted to celebrate that I abandoned the dark and stayed away from the scum.
I picked up the glass and touched her glass and drank it down.
Coco, you were right to scold me. If I had listened to your advice earlier, I wouldn’t have taken so many detours.
“Well, it’s not too late to wake up.”
But have you really made up your mind? Don’t go looking for him two days later like you did before.
“Not this time.” I said, filling myself up again.
“Hey, how’s Ku Hsi-yin?” Coco shook the liquid in the cup and said. The
trauma is almost healed. It’s just that the memory hasn’t come back yet. The doctor said to take things slowly.
Coco looked at me with her chin propped up. “He’s really nice to you.”. He is affectionate and devoted, just like the male protagonists in those idol dramas.
“Little Mo, if you don’t like him, how about giving him to me?”
“I want to chase him.”
I walked in the street with a cold wind.
I didn’t drink much, but I felt more drunk than usual.
My brain was aching and dizzy, and I tried to recall the scene just now.
I swallowed the wine in the glass, put the glass down heavily, and said,
“No, Coco.”. I like him.
“I like him more than anyone else.”
Coco stared at me for a moment and chuckled. “I guessed.” The whole
body was full of sour and astringent, and it was hard to tell whether it was sour in the stomach or in the heart.
I looked at the red and blue neon lights on the street and thought that this was the way Gu Xiyin carried me home.
Hee-in, Hee-in.. I took out my mobile phone shakily.
By the time I realized it, I had dialed his number. A clean and warm voice came from the other end of the
phone, “Han Xiaomo?”
I’m sorry.. I’m sorry..
All of it.. It’s all because I’m sorry.. I choked and grabbed my cell phone like a life-saving straw. What are
you talking about? There was concern in Ku Hsi-yin’s voice. “Have you been drinking?”
“I’m sorry I left you on the stage to kiss him.”
“I’m sorry. Every time I have a quarrel with him, I drink to drown my sorrows and let you clean up the mess.”
“I’m sorry I made an appointment with you, but I didn’t keep my promise. I left you waiting in the rain for three hours.”
I’m sorry, because I had to chase him, I hurt you.. Made you what you are now.
I cried so much that the screen was wet with tears.
“I am most sorry that I have made so many mistakes, but I still want to be loved by you.”
I really love you.. Hee-in, I really love you..
The latter words are already vague. I was drained of my strength, lying on the fence of the overpass, and my stomach turned upside down, but I couldn’t spit it out.
Gu Xiyin was silent for a moment and said softly, “I don’t think he ever blamed you.”
He cleared his throat. I heard that a cold voice can sober people up. Let me sing you a song. When
he sings a cappella, the melody is soft and the pace is slow. It’s Stefanie Sun’s “meet.”.
The sound opened the dark night and blocked the cold wind. I suddenly don’t feel so bad.
Later, he sang a few slow songs, and my mind gradually cleared, accompanied by his singing home.
“I’m home, thank you.” I say.
Thank you for watching over me again.
He smiled and said, “Go to sleep. Good night.” On the day
Gu Xiyin removed the plaster, I wanted to celebrate him with a cake.
Walking to the door of the ward, he saw his aunt sitting in front of the bed, followed by a strange girl.
The girl was comely and quiet, wearing a light blue dress and looking at Gu Xiyin with a smile.
“You’re too old to be young. I told your mother last time that I wanted to find you a girlfriend.” Aunt’s voice sounded.
You and Hsiao Ching are well-matched. Her father runs a pharmaceutical company. She used to come to my shop to buy things, and you’ve even met!
The girl stepped forward to hold Gu Xiyin’s hand and sweetly shouted “Brother Xiyin.”. My
chest was so stuffy that I leaned against the wall and took a few deep breaths before fleeing in a hurry. The
sour and astringent feeling is like the turbulent waves, beating my heart round after round.
She is very cute. Two people standing together are also a good match. Will Gu Xiyin like her? Will
he also show her a warm and clean smile? Will also use that pair of unique eyes, affectionate gaze at her?
I couldn’t control my thoughts and I stumbled to the bathroom. Looking at the distorted expression and red eyes in the mirror, I finally couldn’t help covering my eyes. I didn’t go to the hospital for the
next few days because I was afraid to catch the two of them talking about love.
I sent Gu Xiyin some small videos of recovery training, which can be practiced without any equipment.
He called me and said, “Han Xiaomo, why don’t you come to see me?”
“I’m still waiting for your spicy fried rice cake.” Embarrassed,
I kicked the stone on the ground. “I..”
After a while, he plucked up his courage and said, “Do you have a girlfriend?”
“Huh?” Ku Hsi-yin was surprised. “No.”
“That little Ching last time..”
you mean girl my aunt brought. I said no. She’s not my type.
“How did you know? Didn’t you say you had to catch up on your homework that day and didn’t come to the hospital?”
Oh, it didn’t work out. I breathed a sigh of relief, and my tone was unconsciously relaxed.
“Then you wait for me, and I’ll buy you a rice cake and send it to you.”
“Yes, yes!” Ku Hsi-yin’s voice is particularly light, and she has completely recovered. “I’ll be out of the hospital in two days. I’m telling you, I’m really suffocating. When I go out, I must eat and drink all the delicious food in the world.”
“You have to stay with me!”
Also, I want to see the musical you mentioned last time, and the aquarium, I want to see the seals.. Well, there are so many things I want to do. Let me make a list first.
Ku Hsi-yin lowered her voice playfully. “You can’t run away. You have to accompany me to finish everything one by one.” After
hanging up the phone, I held my phone and giggled for a long time. The noise of cicadas in
early summer brings new vitality to the city. The Dishui Lake on the outskirts of
the city is going to hold a fireworks show. The theme of the
fireworks show is “Lovers get married”, and 99 fireworks of different styles will be set off, which means a long time.
I know that there is a viewing pavilion on the lakeside, which can not only enjoy the scenery of Dishui Lake, but also be the best place to watch fireworks.
It’s the right time, the right place and the right people. How can such a unique environment be wasted.
I immediately bought two tickets for the fireworks show and invited Gu Xiyin to come with me.
Although I had accidentally expressed my love when I was drunk, I decided to express it again while I was sober.
If Gu Xiyin refused, I would offer to continue to be a friend for a lifetime. Anyway, I do not lose, as long as I can stay by his side, watching him happy, I have no regrets.
In case Gu Xiyin agrees. I pressed the deer’s pounding heart and tried to calm myself down.
In the evening, he came from a distance, waving his hand in a light brown shirt.
I was dressed up in a white dress and had my hair permed. Has he noticed any change in me? I walked side by side with him, peeking at his expression from time to time.
Came to the pavilion, just in time for the first fireworks exploded in the air. Fireworks scattered in a brilliant track, illuminating the night sky as if it were day.
How beautiful! Look down there, there’s a cluster of small fireworks! Gu Xiyin showed me with her finger, and her eyes were full of splendor.
I silently counted the number of fireworks. The 99th firework is the “Flaming Rose”, which is the most gorgeous and dazzling as the end of the fireworks show.
I will confess my love to him when the 99th firework explodes. As
time went by, Gu Xiyin and I were next to each other, watching the fireworks of different styles blooming in the air.
No.88, No.89..
I became uncontrollably nervous and my body trembled slightly.
92、93……
Gu Xiyin suddenly turned his head and looked at me seriously.
“Little Mo, there’s one thing I think it’s appropriate to say right now.”
95、96……
“Hmm?” My palms were full of sweat, and I didn’t know whether I was nervous because of his words or because of the coming 99.
“I find I like you.”
97、98……
“Will you be my girlfriend?”
The 99th fireworks exploded wantonly in the air, leaving half the sky red, and the sound of visitors cheering and applauding came from the lakeside.
I missed the most appropriate moment to express my love.
But these are not important, at this time I was held tightly in the arms of Gu Xiyin, trembling all over, tears streaming down my face.
He pressed his chin on my head and said in a soft, deep voice, “You and I, we must have had a lot of good times before.”
“Although the memory has not been restored, although I have lost something very important,”
“I like you now.”
“We can also create new beautiful memories.”
“Will you create with me?” With
tears in my eyes, I looked at the man I loved so much.
Even though he lost his memory, he fell in love with me again.
I nodded and stood on tiptoe to kiss him on the lips.
“Good.”
“We will go all the way together.”
Author’s byline: Jiang Hewan
Record No.: YXX1EmmaDrpTRRRJ1ZrTQR1B
After Amnesia, Friends Become Men’s
First Love, Old Love, Xin Huan
Rong An Ge et al
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