Forgotten his
first love, old love, new love
, I lost my memory, remember everyone, but forget him.
I saw that I was handsome and had a bad temper and didn’t like my husband, so I spread out my hands.
“Take a moment and get a divorce.” When
Xie Zhi took me out of the hospital, I almost called the police. It was he who took out our marriage certificate and managed to dispel my suspicion.
I looked at the couple on the marriage certificate and asked him, “Are you really my husband?”? You don’t seem to love me.
Xie Zhi’s bored face froze.
“I wouldn’t marry someone who doesn’t love me. Something must have gone wrong.”
Xie Zhi took me back to our home.
When I opened the door, it was dark.
Xie Zhi even knocked his foot at the entrance. He complained to me, “Why does it have to be elevated here?”
I don’t have any memories of this family, and
I don’t know how to answer him.
The porch is really too dark, Xie Zhi touched the wall for a long time and did not find the switch of the lamp.
So Xie Zhi asked me again, “Where is the lamp?” “Isn’t this your home?”
I asked him.
Xie Zhi did not speak, after a long time, he finally felt the switch behind the vase. The
warm yellow light illuminates the entrance, which seems to dispel the monster perched in the darkness in the living room.
I seem to remember something. I remember that no matter how late it is, the porch is always lit up waiting for Xie Zhi to come home, just like I always open my heart for Xie Zhi.
I came to my senses and saw Xie Zhi holding a note in his hand, which should have been torn from the switch.
I took a look, above is my handwriting, wrote: “Xiao Xie classmate, congratulations you finally found the switch!”!
I couldn’t help laughing. “Was I so childish before?”
Xie Zhi has been observing me, Wen Yan threw the note aside and replied to me casually.
“Not only is he very childish, but he is also very jealous.”
I raised an eyebrow and asked him, “Do you have someone outside?”
He choked, then lost his temper and asked me, “Chen yuan, are you pretending to lose your memory?”! Stop being unreasonable! I don’t have that much time to play with you!
They all suspected that I was pretending to lose my memory. After all, I didn’t have a car accident, and I didn’t suffer a major blow. I just had a simple sleep, and I didn’t know Xie Zhi after I got up.
I looked straight at Xie Zhi. I didn’t remember the man in front of me. I even forgot all my feelings for him. This heart in
my chest tells me that I used to love him.
I burst out laughing. “You feel guilty.”
Xie Zhi ignored me and walked up to the living room. The lamp in the
living room is on the left hand side. Xie Zhi can light it up with a pat. He sits on the warm white sofa and doesn’t look at me in a fit of pique.
I looked at the switch curiously.
Xie Zhiren is tall, and I need to raise my arm to touch the position he patted casually.
“I’ve been really bad to myself.”
Xie Zhi twisted his eyebrows. “Did you mean it?”? I said I don’t have that much time to play with you!
I sat down in the small chair opposite him and looked around.
“If you don’t have time, don’t play.” I took out the marriage certificate that Xie Zhi had given me before, and said, “Take a moment and divorce.”
Xie Zhi didn’t even raise his eyes. He answered very quickly, for fear that I would go back on my word. “Well, that’s what you said.”
I nodded. I was a little tired after going to the hospital for such a long time, so I asked Xie Zhi, “Which one is my bedroom?”
Xie Zhi looked at me suspiciously, as if he was looking at me to see if I had lied and if I had really lost my memory.
He led me to the bedroom door and then leaned against the door frame and stared at me.
I went through several cabinets and finally found my pajamas, and at the same time I saw Xie Zhi’s.
Two sets are lovers, but Xie Zhi that set is very new, a look did not wear.
But I still folded it neatly and put it side by side.
I went over that one and took out a nightdress.
“I’m going to change my clothes. Do you still want to look here?”
Xie Zhi raised his eyebrows and told me, “Don’t forget to get a divorce tomorrow morning.”
I waved my phone at him. “Don’t worry, I’ve made an appointment.”
He was a little surprised. “When did you make the appointment?”
I spread out my hands and said, “The first time I saw you, I was thinking of getting a divorce.”
Xie Zhi seemed to be very angry. He pursed his lips, frowned and looked straight at me for a long time. Finally, he turned away without saying anything.
I closed the door and lay down on the soft bed. The light in the
living room passed through the gap by the door. I got up to turn off the light. When I opened the door, I found Xie Zhi tapping on the computer in the living room. The light in the
living room was cold white, falling on Xie Zhi’s body, as if to increase the distance between me and him.
It’s like a lifetime ago.
Suddenly he turned to look at me and asked me coldly, “Why don’t you sleep?”? Do you regret it?
I calmly went to the kitchen and poured a cup of warm water, and when I passed the refrigerator, I brought him a bottle of coffee.
He took the coffee suspiciously, took a sip, and immediately frowned.
“Chen yuan, what are you doing?”
Well, judging from his behavior, he probably doesn’t like coffee.
I took a sip of the warm water and said to him, “Wake you up.”
Xie Zhi twisted his eyebrows and glared at me. “I’m already sober enough!”
I laughed. “That’s good. I thought you were living in a dream and you could say that.”
Xie Zhi kept his mouth shut again.
I realized that he seemed to be deliberately avoiding arguing
with me because he was afraid that I would regret it?
I don’t remember what Xie Zhi used to be like, maybe high-spirited, maybe quiet and restrained.
But it shouldn’t be like this.
It bores me.
My boredom with Xie Zhi continued until the next morning, when he drove me to the Civil Affairs Bureau.
I got up too early and had low blood sugar, so I leaned on the car seat to catch up on sleep.
Xie Zhi did not know where the pleasure came from, so he had to pull me and me to recall the past.
He talked all the way from me chasing him to me getting a license with him, and then to us decorating the house. “You’re such a good talker,”
I interrupted, “why don’t you tell me how you got to know that third person?”
Xie Zhi shut up,
but he also acquiesced that he was in love with someone else.
I also listened roughly to the story of me and him in Xie Zhi’s mouth. In the
story, I love him and even lower myself, like a humble earthly person looking up to the God of faith.
Now I am out of the previous filter.
Only then did I realize that Xie Zhi was so annoying. When we
finally got to the Civil Affairs Bureau, we were greeted by a little girl. She looked at us and thanked us. Then she smiled at me and said, “You guys, there’s a 30-day cooling-off period for divorce here.”
She gave me a kind and gentle smile, but her eyes sent me another signal.
You must not regret it.
I looked up at Xie Zhi. He was tall and had long legs. He had an outstanding appearance. He was dressed in a suit and leather shoes. Even his hair was carefully taken care of. He looked like a rich cultural man.
The little girl is wrong. Cultural people don’t necessarily do cultural things.
Xie Zhi was more anxious than I was. He frowned and asked, “Do we have to go through a cooling-off period?”
The little girl glanced at the computer and said with a smile, “Excuse me, sir, that’s the rule.”
I spread out my hands to show that I understood.
Xie Zhi sighed, took back our documents, and then dropped a word to me coldly.
“I have a meeting later, so I’ll go first.”
Xie Zhi drove the car away, so I had to go to work by bus.
Fortunately, the Civil Affairs Bureau is not far from the station, and you can see the station after a few steps around the corner.
Unfortunately, it was time to go to work. I looked at the crowd in front of me and shrank back.
This shrink almost stepped on the tail of a kitten.
I apologized to the cat and looked up to see its owner looking at me.
He was probably in his twenties, with a pale face and thin limbs, as if he had a serious illness. “It’s the first time I’ve ever seen someone apologize to a cat,”
he smiled, his eyes curved.
I sat next to him, a little away from him.
“It’s the first time I’ve ever seen a cat Walker.”
His cat is a dark cloud stepping on the snow, the body of the cat is black, the four paws are white, like wearing four white gloves.
The cat was very close to him and lay motionless at his feet.
“Your cat is so clingy to you.”
He smiled. “Animals have spirits. He probably knows I’m dying, too.”
I was shocked. “You’re still so young!”
He looked up at the sky, and the light in his eyes flashed on and off.
“It’s no use being young. It’s only useful to be alive.” The words of
comfort to the mouth, to meet the eyes of the teenager, I still can not help but choke back. The buses on the
bus platform came one after another, and the number of people on the platform gradually decreased.
In the end, it was just the two of us.
The boy still looked up at the sky, and the broken sunshine danced in his eyebrows.
“Actually, I’m sick, too.” I said calmly, “I have lost my memory. I remember everyone but one.”
After a long time, his gentle voice came.
“That person is very important to you.”
It’s important.
Just forget him, my heart is missing a big mouth. The sun was
shining brightly, but I was getting colder and colder, and I couldn’t help shrinking myself.
I stubbornly lied: “It doesn’t matter. I hate him.”
The cat rubbed against my ankle, and I couldn’t help touching its head.
The boy looked at me sideways. His eyes were bright, and there was a shallow pear vortex on each side of his lips.
He held out his hand to me and said, “My name is Cheng Yu. I have been ill for a long time.”. This is my cat. His name is Lucky.
Later, I finally waited for the bus I wanted. Before I
got on the bus, Cheng Yu took the initiative to exchange contact information with me. He said that he knew a brain expert and maybe he could introduce us to each other.
Along the way, I leaned against the window and thought about it. When I got to the door of the studio, I didn’t see my colleague Xiao Su coming with a wooden frame in his arms and bumping into him.
Little Su wears big black-rimmed glasses all the year round and always hangs his head to avoid talking to people. Only when he gets his salary will he hear him say softly, “Thank you, boss.”
Although Xiao Su is very gloomy, his paintings always have a beam of light shining from the distance, always bright and full of hope.
I got up from the ground and hurried to see Xiao Su.
“Are you okay?”
He turned his head away from me and hurried away with his easel in his arms.
Chou Li leaned over to look at my hand. “Your own palms are scratched. Do you still have time to care about others?”
“After all, I hit him first.”
Chou Li found iodine and gave me the medicine: “These are the most precious hands of a painter, and you don’t cherish them.”
I laughed.
When Chou Li put away the iodine, she suddenly remembered something and asked me, “Didn’t your husband embarrass you yesterday?” “Why is he giving me a hard time?”
I asked.
Zhou Li rolled her eyes.
“My God, who doesn’t know about Hsieh’s overweening character that day? Yesterday he came to pick you up, and you called him a human trafficker in public to embarrass him. He won’t go back and divorce you?”
It seems that Zhou Li hates Xie Zhi.
I nodded. “We’re divorced. I mentioned it.”. I just came back from the Civil Affairs Bureau.
Chou Li’s eyes widened, and after a while she clasped her hands together and worshipped the heavens: “God bless me, my birthday wish has come true!”
“What?” I don’t understand.
Chou Li gave me a white look and said, “I made a wish on my birthday that I would suddenly become thin and rich, and that Chen yuan would be out of the sea of misery.”
“Then your wish is quite accurate.” Then I asked, “I can’t figure out why I married a man like Xie Zhi.”
I did love Xie Zhi.
But it will never be Xie Zhi now. Something
must have happened in my forgotten memory.
I looked at Zhou Li expectantly, hoping that she could give me an answer.
Zhou Li and I sat next to each other in high school and were in the same class in college. Zhou Li was my best friend in my memory of the time when I was a student. Everyone
suspected that I had false amnesia, and so did Zhou Li, but she just looked at me suspiciously and picked up the hot tea on the table.
“Once upon a time, Xie Zhi would have blown this cup of tea to a cool temperature and personally fed it to you.” She said this and poured the tea into the bucket at her feet. “But now Xie Zhi won’t even look at you if he pours the tea away.” At the same time
as Zhou Li’s voice, there were some broken pictures in my mind.
Xie Zhi, wrapped in a heavy cotton-padded jacket, stood at the door downstairs, looking up at me and smiling.
His lips, white with cold, opened and closed, but there was no sound.
He seems to be saying,
Chen yuanyuan, let’s get married after graduation!
Zhou Li suddenly took hold of my shoulder, and she shook me hard to make me come to my senses.
“Chen yuan, don’t look back. It’s not worth turning back now.”
I was confused, but I nodded solemnly. When
I got off work in the evening, I saw Xie Zhi waiting for me at the door when I went out.
He stood leaning against the car, dressed in an expensive suit, with his arms folded in front of his chest, looking at the ground in the distance, not knowing what he was thinking.
As dusk fell, he was covered with gloom, and only the breeze was his salvation.
Chou Li squeezed my arm and whispered to me, “Don’t look back.”
I smiled at her, and Zhou Li sighed and followed her boyfriend.
Xie Zhi seemed to hear something on our side, and he came to his senses and looked at me in a gentle tone.
“Get in.”
I opened the back door and sat in the back. Xie Zhi just looked at me and said nothing. Xie Zhi and
I had nothing to say all the way, but this silence made me feel familiar.
As the landscape around me became more and more unfamiliar, I finally couldn’t help asking, “Xie Zhi, where are you taking me?”
Xie Zhi didn’t even look at me. He replied with a cold face, “Didn’t you say that I would bring you here for a French meal once a week?”
Is it my previous agreement with him?
I replied in silence, “I don’t want to eat any more. I’ll go straight back to your house. I’ll move out later.”
Xie Zhi simply parked his car on the side of the road and stared back at me with bored eyes. “Chen yuan, how long are you going to make trouble?”? I have remembered all your requests. Isn’t that enough?
His words aroused my anger. I took off my bag and threw it on Xie Zhi’s abominable face.
“I’m not making trouble with you. I’ve already divorced you!”
Xie Zhi’s face was as gloomy as ink. He opened the window and threw his bag outside.
I was even more angry: “Thank you for picking it up!”
Xie Zhi laughed and said, “Do you think Xie Zhi is your dog?”? What kind of bossy young lady are you?
Pow!
I slapped Xie Zhi directly in the face! The
car suddenly fell into silence.
Xie Zhi opened his eyes wide, and one side of his face slowly became red and swollen.
He probably didn’t expect me to hit him either, but the slap calmed us both down.
Xie Zhi, marriage is for both of us. It’s not a shackle, and it’s not what you call it. My request. It is the home you and I will keep together.
I am missing a heart in the dull pain, obviously I hit Xie Zhi, but I am more painful than him.
Xie Zhi turned around and looked back at me in silence.
Unfamiliar memories blow on my face, like a tsunami engulfing me, making me breathless.
I suddenly remembered that when Xie Zhi sat at my desk in high school, he often looked back at me like this. At that time, he raised his eyebrows and smiled with juvenile arrogance.
He said, “Chen yuan-yuan, when you come to watch the game in the afternoon, can you just say my name?”
He said, “Chen yuan-yuan, can I call you on the day of the first snow?”
He said, “Chen yuan-yuan, you look so cute when you do the exercises with a frown!” “Run boldly, Chen yuan-yuan,”
he said! No matter where you are, I will catch up with you! At the age of
18, he seemed to be standing in the light forever, standing in the place where the breeze came, smiling at me in the dark.
He likes to call me Chen yuanyuan, and he says it makes me look cute.
I will always be in love with 18-year-old Xie Zhi.
“But 28-year-old Chen yuan will never fall in love with 28-year-old Xie Zhi again.” One side of
Xie Zhi’s face was red and swollen, and the corners of his eyes were red.
I opened the car door and walked away, unwilling to look at him again. Inside
the car, Xie Zhi’s outstretched hand fell trembling.
This is the price he has to pay for time.
I will not turn back, and Xie Zhi is not worth turning back.
That night I moved out of my home with Xie Zhi. He asked me with a black face, “Are you so impatient?”
I didn’t even bother to look at him with my suitcase.
“Every minute counts.”
Xie Zhi did not speak, silently turned on the porch light for me.
As I was dragging my luggage to the door, he suddenly called out to me in a trembling voice: “Chen yuan-yuan.”
My footsteps stopped at the sound.
Xie Zhi was proud. He lowered his head and asked me in a voice that was almost pleading: “If … …” If we go back ten years.. Will you..? The only
answer to him was the door that was closed with great force.
On Wednesday, at the invitation of Cheng Yu, I came to the hospital to meet the brain specialist.
The expert’s consulting room made me feel inexplicably familiar, but it was really the first time I had come here, and I could not help feeling puzzled.
The man seemed to see what I was thinking, so he took a cup of warm water and handed it to me. He comforted me with a magnetic voice: “Don’t be nervous. My name is Mo Ke. I’m a minor in psychology. I’m good at influencing a person through the environment.”
I looked up at him in ignorance, and the person in front of me smiled kindly. It was obviously a strange eyebrow and eye, but it gave me a familiar feeling.
“Haven’t I seen you somewhere?”
He sat down opposite me, folded his fingers, and smiled at me with ease. “I’m born with a photographic memory, Miss Chen. We must have never met.”
His voice was slow, and there was a sense of inexplicable conviction.
My eyes gradually blurred, and finally I could only vaguely hear him say, “Miss Chen, I hope you don’t regret your decision.” When
I was in the clinic, Cheng Yu was waiting for me at the door. When I came out, he returned my backpack and mobile phone to me.
“Are you all right?”
I held on to the wall and gave him a forced smile. I felt as if I had forgotten something, and I couldn’t think of anything to forget.
Cheng Yu accompanied me in the hospital to rest for a long time, I finally recovered, although the head is still ringing, but I can walk normally. Cheng Yu and
I parted at the door. He waved his hand to me and turned to go.
I felt a little embarrassed: “Let you come with me all the way, or I will invite you to dinner!”
Cheng Yu smiled. “No need. You’ve already invited me.”
I was stunned.
He added, “We used to be friends in the corner you forgot.” On the way
back, I was still thinking about Cheng Yu’s words, trying to remember if I had really seen him somewhere.
Because I thought too much, I accidentally drew Cheng Yu’s appearance when I sketched.
Chou Li turned her chair around and teased me, “Yes, draw a beautiful young man according to the bottle!”! What’s the matter? A second spring?
I immediately denied it. “Of course not. He’s only 20.”
Chou Li tutted twice and continued to look at Cheng Yu in my painting. She couldn’t help saying, “Why doesn’t this man look a little angry?”? Not like a living person, but like a still life.
Cheng Yu gives me the feeling like this, like a cat immersed in the dark, with only the sun in its eyes.
He was also looking forward to getting out of the darkness and
hoping for luck.
On Friday, Cheng Yu was hospitalized.
I learned from the brain expert that Cheng Yu might not live for more than three months if he did not have an operation this time.
I asked him why Cheng Yu didn’t have an operation. “Because the chance of success is only 10%,”
he said. When
I went to visit Cheng Yu, I bought a bunch of flowers, pretending to be relaxed and joking with him.
Cheng Yu also smiled back to me, but more often he looked at the sky outside. “I think I’m lucky,”
he said. “It’s a pity that the hospital doesn’t allow cats.”
I asked him carefully, “Do you have any other relatives here?”
I want to hear what their decision is about Cheng Yu’s operation.
Cheng Yu turned to me with a reluctant smile: “I have no family. I was the only survivor of a car accident three years ago.”
“Now, I’m going, too.”
He still looked out of the window, and the sunlight hugged him through the layers of obstacles and kissed the corners of his eyes and the ends of his hair.
The boy was pale and thin, like an iris about to break. I could not bear it in my
heart, but in front of him, any word of mine seemed powerless.
I often came to visit Cheng Yu, and in the first week, he was able to go out with me to bask in the sun.
The next week, he was in a wheelchair, spitting blood. In the
third week, Cheng Yu’s hair was pushed out. He smiled weakly at me in bed and asked me what I wanted to do most in my life?
I thought about it carefully, but I found that I didn’t have anything to do.
Cheng Yu didn’t care that I didn’t have an answer. He gave me a set of keys and an address: “Help me take care of Lucky.” When I went to pick up Lucky
that night, it shrank next to the mobile camera, where Cheng Yu could see it as long as he turned on the camera.
“Lucky, good.”
Lucky called out to me twice, and his voice was hoarse, as if he had called out countless times.
It can not find Cheng Yu, it can only be in the only place to hear Cheng Yu’s voice, guarding him.
The next day, I pulled Xie Zhi out of the blacklist.
Our divorce cooling-off period is over, and we can formally handle the divorce.
I made an appointment for nine o’clock. Xie Zhi came a little late. His clothes were no longer so elegant, and he was a little decadent. When he
saw me, his eyes lit up a little, and then disappeared.
I saw him coming and turned to go, but his arm was pulled by Xie Zhi.
I couldn’t break free and frowned at him. “Chen yuan-yuan, don’t you want me?
” Hsieh Chih asked me in a hoarse voice, his eyelashes quivering.
My back tightened for a moment, and my chest seemed to have been cut out by a knife, which was painful to the bone marrow.
I really loved Xie Zhi.
“I don’t want it anymore,” I replied in a muffled voice. “Thank you, I don’t want you anymore.” Along
with this sentence, I have been with him for the past ten years.
It was he who was sitting in the sun in his school uniform, patting a basketball carelessly, and saying to me with a smile, “Chen yuan-yuan, why are you so late?”? If you don’t come, who am I going to show off?
It was he who, with his chin propped up, looked downstairs at the rows of teachers who were off duty. He tilted his head and smiled at me: “Chen yuan-yuan, would you like to go to Siha Siha Malatang after school?”
It was he who caught a cold and leaned against the corner. He said to me with an aggrieved expression, “Chen yuan-yuan, I seem to be dying. Remember that there is a dollar in page 27 of my compulsory second math book. That’s all I have.” Cough. Why did you hit me?
It was he who blushed and knelt down on one knee to me in the sea of flowers.
“Chen yuan-yuan, from now on you will be all I have!”
It’s the clock when he gets home later and later after he gets married. It’s the light on the screen of his mobile phone when he holds me and thinks about the future. “I’m so sad. Can you come and accompany me?”
It’s more and more boredom in his eyes, it’s less and less words he said to me.
It was a lame excuse he made up to accompany another person on my birthday. The
company cat is sick and needs to be taken care of.
This is our ten years, is my youth like jade, and I gradually away from the ten years.
I suddenly shed two lines of tears.
“Thank you, I don’t want you anymore.” After
getting the marriage certificate, I got rid of Xie Zhi who wanted to be entangled again. On the way to visit Cheng Yu, I bought a bunch of flowers. At the door of the
hospital elevator, I met Mo Ke, the brain expert. When he
saw me, he raised his eyebrows and said with a smile, “Miss Chen, do you remember me this time?”
I remember him.
Half a year ago, I confirmed that Xie Zhi had changed his mind. At that time, I was once depressed and anorexic. Finally, I fainted on the roadside and was sent to the hospital by a kind teenager. When
I woke up, the boy was sitting at the window, quietly basking in the sun.
He smiled at me and held out his hand.
Hello, my name is Cheng Yu. I’ve been ill for a long time. I also have a cat. His name is Lucky.
At that time, he was only thin and weak, but looked malnourished, but his eyes were always bright, like hiding the sun.
I was forced to stay in the hospital for observation because of moderate depression and severe anorexia. It happened that Xie Zhi was on a business trip at that time and was busy with all kinds of social activities. He didn’t know anything about my hospitalization. For the
first week, I huddled in a corner, didn’t eat or drink, and lived by hanging water all day. I often cry in the middle of the night, and sometimes when I get up after taking medicine, I will look at the corner and cry loudly for no reason.
Cheng often came to see me, took the new flowers on the roadside, opened the curtains, and dispelled the haze in the house.
The next week, he introduced his doctor to me.
That man is Mo Ke.
He minored in psychology and got a master’s degree. He is good at influencing a person’s psychology through language environment.
In front of him, I always become calmer.
After nearly half a month of treatment, he folded his fingers and smiled kindly: “I know why Miss Chen is so miserable.”
“When I was young, I supported my partner, but in the end I gave her my heart. What Miss Chen can’t let go of is no longer that person, but the young man she used to be.”
“Why don’t we put aside the memories of the past and re-examine the people around us today? Is it still worth turning back to Miss Chen? How about that?”
I was so confused that I couldn’t even hear what he said, but I knew that maybe this was my only way out. In the
next six months, Mo Ke gave me a series of psychological hints and used some drugs, which made me really forget Xie Zhi temporarily. “When Miss Chen decides to give up, these memories will come back,”
he said.
So, when I woke up one day,
I lost my memory and remembered everyone except him.
When I got into the elevator, Moke smiled back, “Thank you very much.”
The elevator door closed slowly, and there were only two of us in the narrow space.
Mo Ke tilted his head to look at me, his formulaic smile faded, and his eyes were filled with fanatical light.
“But I have to say thank you. Miss Chen is a very good experimental material.”
I know Mo Ke is doing experiments with me, but I am still very grateful to him, I walked out of the haze, finally abandoned the past, thanks to him.
But all this does not change the fact that he is an academic madman who uses living people as materials for experiments.
I didn’t want to get entangled with Mo Ke too much, so I never replied to him again.
Mo Ke asked me a few more questions, and when he saw my lack of interest, he felt bored and did not open his mouth again.
Until the elevator door opened and I was ready to get off the elevator.
“Miss Chen.”
I looked back at Mo Ke standing in the shadow, and there was a formulaic and kind smile on his face.
“Cheng Yu has agreed to the operation.”
I was overjoyed, nodded and thanked, and rushed to Cheng Yu’s ward immediately. When
I went in, Cheng Yu shrank on the chair by the window, and the sunshine spread on him inch by inch, warming his whole body.
I took the withered flowers out of the vase and replaced them with the sunflowers I brought today.
I took a watering can and sprayed some water on it. Looking at the dripping petals, I couldn’t help laughing and said, “You really look like a sunflower. Everyone likes to bask in the sun.”
Cheng Yu half raised his eyes and his breath was weak.
“I’ve agreed to the operation. If I’m lucky enough to survive, help me draw a picture of the sunrise in Lhasa.” When
I was depressed, Cheng Yu mentioned this matter, but later I forgot it and never settled it.
I felt guilty. “When you get better, I’ll take you to Lhasa to see the sunrise in person.”
He closed his eyes and did not reply, as if he were very tired.
Cheng Yu’s operation was scheduled for the next afternoon. Before he entered the operating room, he gave me a little hug.
His last words were, “Chen yuan, remember me.” My
eyes were red. I patted him on the back and said, “You’re still young. You’ll be lucky.”
He smiled at me, closed his eyes and said nothing more. The
operation lasted for eight hours, and I waited outside the operating room until the evening before I left to feed Lucky.
Cheng Yu is lucky, and he will be all right.
Lucky also seems to know about Cheng Yu, he refused to eat anything anyway, lying in front of the camera and refused to move.
At nine o’clock, I was ready to continue to watch Cheng Yu, but luck suddenly began to cry.
That was the first time I saw a cat yelling at the top of his lungs. He kept rubbing his head against the camera, but the cold machine wouldn’t soothe him forever.
My heart suddenly trembled.
Ten minutes later, I received a message from Mo Ke.
“Sorry.”
I couldn’t help crying out in the car, and the memory of sitting in the sun with me in the past emerged. I bit the back of my hand and tried my best to suppress the cry.
He said, “I have no family and no friends. If I leave, no one will remember me.”. Chen yuan, you must remember me. I
‘m sorry I forgot you. I’m sorry Cheng Yu.
I stumbled to the hospital. In a trance, I saw Cheng Yu again. He stood in the light and held out his hand to me.
“Hello, my name is Cheng Yu. I’ve been ill for a long time.”
Cheng Yu failed to have luck, and
luck also lost Cheng Yu.
Cheng Yu had no relatives, so I helped him take care of his funeral.
Cheng Yu has very few things, and the most precious one is a cat named Lucky. After the
first few nights, I looked at the sun and made a decision.
I quit my job.
When Chou Li heard this, her face was full of disbelief: “Chen yuan, without love, we can still have a career. Why don’t you even want a career?”
I smiled at her. “I have an appointment to fulfill.”
I want to take a bus to Xizang to paint the sunrise for Cheng Yu.
But I’m not really good at landscape painting, I’m better at portrait painting, so before I left, I went to visit Xiao Su specially.
I am willing to take out all my savings and hire him to accompany me to Xizang to paint a sunrise.
Zhou Li did not understand what I had done, and felt that I was willing to give up everything I had now in order to go to an inexplicable appointment.
Xie Zhi also did not understand that he had bought the studio where I worked behind my back. When he heard that I had resigned, he immediately drove over and asked me.
I was wondering why I was always absent from work for no reason some time ago, and my monthly salary was twice as much as before. It turned out that Xie Zhi had taken over the studio.
Xie Zhi frowned and said quickly, “If it’s because of me, you don’t have to resign at all. I can transfer this studio to you right away.”
He advised me, “Chen yuan, don’t be impulsive.”
I looked at him calmly, looking at the green years between his hair, and I asked him, “Xie Zhi, why did you buy this studio?”
Xie Zhi is engaged in the information software industry, a studio that is not well-known and the profits are not considerable, how can it suddenly enter his eyes?
Xie Zhi hung his head slowly and his voice was weak.
I. I’m trying to make it up to you as much as I can.
He seemed to know that he had said the wrong thing and immediately changed his words: “Of course I know that I can’t make up for the harm I have done to you before, but..”
“Well,” I interrupted, “I don’t want to hear your self-moving confession, and don’t flatter yourself. I didn’t resign because of you.”
Hsieh Chih was stupefied. “Why is that?”
I looked up at the sky,
the clouds gathered for a few days finally dispersed, the sun broke through the clouds into the world, wild geese singing across, leaving a torn sky.
My mood suddenly became better.
“I don’t want to stay in the past. I want to see the future, the future without you.” After
saying this, Xiao Su packed up his things and came out. I turned around and waved to him: “Xiao Su, can you drive?”
Xiao Su hung his head and whispered a word back to me.
“Yes.”
I was so happy that I pulled Xiao Su into the car I had bought before and never had a chance to drive out.
Xie Zhi stood where he was, watching me go away a little bit, and finally disappeared in the field of vision.
Chou Li folded her arms in front of her chest and said sarcastically, “Those who indulge in the past move on to the future, while the first person to abandon the past recalls the past. It’s really ironic.”
Hsieh Chih was not so good-tempered with Chou Li last week. His face turned cold for a moment and he asked Chou Li, “Are you laughing at me?”
“Oh, the eyes are so fierce.” Chou Li-chiao laughed twice and threw her resignation letter in Xie Zhi’s face. “I’ve resigned. I’m not afraid of you anymore.”. I wish you a lonely old age, and never to meet Chen yuan again! Then
she walked away.
Xie Zhi stood where he was and sighed for a long time. Of course,
he would never meet Chen yuan again, and
Chen yuan no longer loved him. He brought
all this on himself.
No longer concerned about Xie Zhi, Xiao Su and I drove all the way to Xizang.
Lucky is not afraid to take a car, but like a curious child, every day clinging to the window to see the scenery outside.
“Your cat is really cute.”
Xiao Su and I are familiar with a lot, become also can pick up my jokes, sometimes will take the initiative to tell me a few interesting things.
He had been mildly autistic, and the spectacular scenery of mountains and rivers along the way slowly cured him.
“Lucky is my friend’s cat. It’s his treasure.”
Xiao Su learned a little about Cheng Yu from me, and he also sympathized with the young man who liked to bask in the sun. Hearing what I said, he immediately changed the subject for fear of making me sad again. On the day I went to Xizang
with Xiao Su, he and I couldn’t help getting out of the car and shouting.
Xiao Su’s reaction was bigger than mine. He immediately turned out the easel from the trunk and began to paint according to the mountains in the distance.
I took a few pictures with my camera, opened the easel in boredom, looked around, and began to draw. I have been painting
this painting for half a month, constantly revising it, even tearing it up and starting again seven times, but no matter how I paint it, I am not satisfied. In
my memory, Cheng Yu is gentle, a young man leaning on the sunshine.
I have painted him smiling kindly at me when he first met me at the station after I lost my memory,
when he sent me to the hospital when I was depressed, when I woke up,
and when he was terminally ill, when he sat in a chair with his eyes closed and basked in the sun.
But I am not satisfied, and I always feel that something is missing.
Xiao Su was full of praise for the drawings I tore up, saying that I was just too strict with myself, just a little flaw, and I could make do with it.
I said to him firmly, “Cheng Yu can’t settle.” In
this world, I am the only one who can remember him, and I absolutely can’t make do with him.
Xiao Su didn’t understand, but he didn’t persuade me again.
Half a month later, Xiao Su and I waited for the sunrise in front of the Potala Palace with our easels in the early morning. It was a cold night
Xizang. Su brought me an extra coat and said, “You can sleep for a while. When the sun rises, I’ll call you.”
I shook my head and thanked him for his kindness. The time
waiting for sunrise was so boring that even Xiao Su could not bear boredom and took the initiative to tell me a joke.
Do you know why Christ never recited sutras in his life?
Because he doesn’t speak Chinese.
His jokes were more boring, but the way Xiao Su looked at me expectantly was more funny. After
a long time together, I found that Xiao Su is like a child, like childish toys, like sweets, like to tell some boring jokes.
I became more and more intimate with him. He began to call me Sister yuan yuan. I still called him Xiao Su, but I treated him more and more like taking care of my brother. There are more and more people
waiting for the sunrise, but the sun is like a shy little girl who refuses to appear.
The baking soda yawned twice, and the pen in her hand fell to the ground.
The sun has not yet come out, the visibility is still very low, I follow the sound to find the pen that I don’t know where to roll. A lot of people gathered in the
square, and I lowered my head and looked between my feet.
Xiao Su only likes to use a skilled pen. If he loses that pen, he should be very sad. The moment
I found the pen, I heard an exclamation above my head.
I took the pen, stood up, and couldn’t help exclaiming.
The red girl, wearing a golden gauze skirt, jumped out of the green hills, casting the first ray of light of grace to the world, adding radiance and beauty to the golden roof of the Potala Palace, full of peace and sacredness. In the
crowd, some people knelt down to chant sutras, some people put their hands together to pray, and some people picked up their pens and looked at Asahi with a sincere face.
I finally know what’s wrong with Cheng Yue in the painting.
Cheng Yu is a gift.
I picked up my pen and began to draw. I have drawn Cheng Yu too many times recently. I raised my hand to draw his eyebrows and eyes quickly, shining on the red sun and drawing a golden light beside him.
What I drew was the last side of him and me. He half raised his hand and made a gesture of embracing, smiling gently and his eyes were full of regret. On his right hand,
I drew an iris in full bloom. When
Xiao Su finished painting the sunrise, he came to take a look at my painting. Is he
Cheng Yu? It’s really different. Surprised,
I asked, “What’s the difference?”
Xiao Su frowned and looked at my painting for a long time, and finally said, “Well..” In the past, I just felt that he was very gentle, but now he is warm and gentle, and he feels like he is basking in the sun.
I nodded.
Xiao Su showed me the sunrise he painted, which was almost the same as the scene just now, and even more artistic. With this painting,
he may become a celebrity.
Xiao Su didn’t seem to care. He gave me the painting in a careless way.
“I promised you that I would paint the sunrise for you.”
I didn’t ask for the painting in the end, and I left “Yu” to Xiao Su. With permission, I took pictures of his paintings on the Internet, and Xiao Su became popular overnight. Some of
his previous paintings were also discovered, and some people even said that they would hold a painting exhibition for him, and that the sunrise should be placed in the center.
Xiao Su came to ask me for my opinion, and I replied, “If you can, please put Yu in your exhibition. I hope more people will remember him.”
“I remember there was once a very gentle young man named Cheng Yu, who was cured. He also had a cat named Lucky.”
Xiao Su’s art exhibition was very successful. When we came back, Zhou Li had moved away. She had gone to the capital to make her own way. When
I talked to her about her long-distance relationship, Zhou Li answered very freely.
She said, “Chen yuan, if he really loves me, even if it’s thousands of miles away, even if it’s just the voice on the phone, it can’t resist his yearning.”
“If he doesn’t love me, Chen yuan, it’s not a long-distance relationship, it’s finding himself a wild father out of town, just looking for anger.”
Zhou Li always has a vicious mouth, and I can’t help laughing and falling on the bed.
I told her about Xiao Su again. Xiao Su is now hard to find a painting. The highest price of Sunrise has reached 70 million. I heard that many people have offered a high price for my painting “Healing”.
Xiao Su refused for me at my behest, and set up a small sign beside the painting, writing Cheng Yu’s name and what he often said.
Lucky is getting fatter and fatter. He often sleeps in a soft cat’s nest and only comes out to bask in the sun when the sun is shining. When I ask him to eat, he runs very fast, like a prick of wings.
I am still engaged in painting, life is dull, but also happy.
Time is as gentle as water, a little bit to heal the pain. When I saw Xie Zhi
again, it was at Xiao Su’s celebration banquet.
At that time, Xiao Su was already a very famous painter. He was invited to attend his celebration banquet. He couldn’t get away with it, and he was afraid of the crowded occasion, so he had to come and beg me to accompany him.
After more than a year, Xie Zhi has changed a lot, and he has become more stable and mature. Dressed in a dark suit, his well-groomed hair was set off by his delicate features, and
he was the focus of the crowd wherever he stood.
I only looked at him once, then turned my head and continued to observe the other people in the meeting. I saw Mo Ke in the
crowd. He was wearing a white suit and did not comb his hair. He looked free and easy.
He raised his glass to me, and so did I.
“I saw your painting.” Mo Ke raised his lips. “If he were still alive, he would like it very much.”
I clinked glasses with him and replied, “If it were him, he would praise my painting skills in a straightforward way and then celebrate with me.”
Mo Ke smiled without a word. In the middle of the meeting,
I found Xiao Su trembling and holding a cup. He looked around and smiled at me when he saw me.
I smiled back at him.
Mo Ke suddenly clinked glasses with me again.
I looked up at him, and he looked at me sideways and smiled, “Miss Chen, I don’t know if you’re interested later..”
“Not interested,” I cut him off. “Mok, I’m not interested in you.” I have no interest in
an academic madman who disregards human life for the sake of experiments.
Mo Ke’s smile deepened. He put down his glass and touched the watch on his wrist.
Just as I was wondering if he was going to give me another psychological hint, he suddenly laughed and said, “Miss Chen, it seems that you still have guests, so I won’t bother you.” Then
he turned and left.
“Oh, isn’t this Miss Chen?”
A shrill voice suddenly came in, and I turned to look at the man, frowning.
I have seen her from a distance, and she is the object of Xie Zhi’s change of heart, Zeng Ling.
A vase that looks empty to me and has no brains.
She was Xie Zhi’s secretary.
During the interview, she gave me a very bad impression.
She didn’t remember the time. She was careless and forgetful. I couldn’t count her shortcomings on one hand.
But she also has an advantage that I have to recognize. She is always positive.
Even if the road ahead is confused, she has the courage to go through it alone. Maybe that’s what
Xie Zhi likes about her.
I was not in the mood to chat with my former third party at my brother’s celebration party. I didn’t even care about her provocative words. I looked at her lightly and quickly moved away for fear of polluting my eyes.
Zeng Ling is asking for boredom. What else do you want to say.
Xie Zhi came over at this time, separated me from her, raised his glass to me and said with a smile, “How have you been recently?”
I calmly replied, “Go away, thank you.” His
face did not change, but he pushed Tseng Ling away and continued to talk to me: “I saw that painting. It’s really good. You’ve been good at painting portraits since high school. This is really amazing.”
Out of love, I see Xie Zhi like a buzzing fly, eager to slap him and tell him to stay away from me.
But I couldn’t do that.
I could only smile sarcastically at him: “Oh, General Manager Xie, did you make the third party a full member?”
Xie Zhi’s face suddenly sank, and Zeng Ling unrelenting asked who was the third party.
I stepped over Xie Zhi and answered her in a loud voice: “When General Manager Xie and I were husband and wife, you were General Manager Xie’s girlfriend. If you are not the third party, are you the fourth?” The sound of people
around me pointing at Zeng Ling made me feel hot.
Xie Zhi was no exception. He snapped Zeng Ling away and explained to everyone that they were just superiors and subordinates.
I stood by watching the play and thought it was funny.
I can see clearly that he is protecting Zeng Ling.
“Xie Zhi, what do you like about her?” “I’m not protecting her. I’m protecting you,”
Xie said.
16
“Protect Me?” I laughed and tried my best to control my hands so that I could not pour the wine in his face. Is
he dreaming? What are you
talking about?
Xie Zhi did not answer my question. He approached me a few steps, hung his head and asked me in a low voice, “I know you will come today. I just want to..”
His tone was weak, and he struggled for a long time without following up.
I was curious about the first part of his sentence.
He said he knew I would come. As expected, he participated in the
celebration banquet.
I couldn’t bear to see him and asked, “Xie Zhi, do you want to go back to the past with me?”
He immediately looked up, his eyes full of light, and looked at me expectantly.
I laughed and threw the wine in his face.
The former was caught in the storm of the mistress, and the latter was splashed with wine by his ex-wife. No matter what, Xie Zhi’s reputation will be reduced to the lowest level in the future. Some of
his orders may be lost because of this,
but Xie Zhi’s loss is so big that it has nothing to do with me?
I replied coldly, “What you miss is not me, but you who used to shine in my eyes.”
I put the cup on the table beside me and wiped my fingers with a paper towel.
“Don’t disgust me any more. Thank you.”
I turned to go, and Xiao Su immediately followed me.
Passing by Xie Zhi, he also poured wine on Xie Zhi’s face.
He also left a sentence: “Since General Manager Hsieh is waving colorful flags, it’s better not to expect a pearl.”
Xie Zhi did not speak again.
He stood in the field
like a dog caught in the rain.
Xiao Su took me for a ride in the car, and I raised my arms to embrace the night and embrace a new self.
The night is never a source of pain.
It is the man who refuses to see himself.
(End of full text)
Filing No.: YXX1O2Ad6Y3ik2xlYnubPn8
First love, old love, new love
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