Yiyi is willing to
wait for you to finish class. The day before you grow up
and marry your rival, I went back to the worst period of our relationship. He threw away
my breakfast and tore up my notes. It doesn’t matter.
It wasn’t until I heard him hugging little Qingmei and coaxing her, “It’s just for fun. She’s so arrogant, and now she’s kneeling down and licking me.”
I poured the milk on his head with a straight face.
I won’t get married. The night before I married
Song Jingnian, he climbed through the window to see me secretly.
Twenty-eight years old, crying very loudly, “I’m not dreaming, am I really going to marry you?”
According to him, I was the one he had worked so hard for.
I felt his dog’s head. “It wasn’t a dream.”
As soon as I woke up, I was 18 again. Song Jingnian, who was still young, kicked over my desk. His face was full of impatience
. “Qiao Yiyi, don’t mind my own business.” There was a big contrast
before and after, and I didn’t react for a while.
This is the third year of senior high school, the worst year of my relationship with Song Jingnian.
I picked up the books on the floor and said, “Give me your homework before school ends.”
This year, I was the monitor, and he was a poor student.
Every time we collect homework, it’s a seesaw battle, so our relationship is never good.
Song gave a sneer and said, “You’re dreaming!” I hadn’t seen him so rebellious for a
long time. I rubbed my brows. “Lift the table for me.”
“What are you talking about?”
I looked at him. “Hold the table.”
Song Jingnian stared at me for a long time before he picked up the table with a strange expression. After the
bell rang, he snorted coldly, turned back to the back seat, and reluctantly kicked the table askew before leaving.
I had no choice but to straighten the table myself. There is a long way to go for
training. Of course, the homework
to be collected has not been received.
I went to look for Song Jingnian, but I saw a girl holding his arm intimately:
“Song Jingnian, go to the movies with me.”
“Then play video games, roll over the road..”
She planned little by little, and Song Jingnian touched her head, his eyes full of tenderness.
That’s the way he looked at me when he was 28 years old.
I suddenly stopped and watched the scene quietly.
Xie Ran-Song Jingnian’s little green plum, I finally think of this face.
When Sung Jingnian noticed me, he looked bored. “What are you doing?”
I gave him my notebook and said, “This is all the knowledge from the first year of high school to the third year of high school.”
The original Song Jingnian’s grades were particularly poor, and it was not until the second half of the third semester of senior high school that he began to learn desperately.
Now that I’m here, I can help you as soon as possible.
Hsieh Ran looked at me with hostility, while Sung Jingnian raised his eyebrows and said, “Qiao Yiyi, did you take the wrong medicine?”? You don’t think I’ll listen to you, do you?
I nodded and loosened my clenched hand. “Just think I’m taking the wrong medicine.”
He sneered at the words.
Twenty-eight-year-old Song Jingnian is too good to me, so I should be particularly tolerant of 18-year-old Song Jingnian. When I went to the classroom
the next day, I had an extra breakfast in my arms.
Twenty-eight-year-old Song Jingnian never had the habit of eating breakfast. Later, every time he had a stomachache, he would pitifully curl up in my arms. When
I passed by, he was chatting with his friends. He looked up at me and then looked away.
I handed him the steamed stuffed bun. “It’s hot.”
When he didn’t answer, the people next to him began to heckle: “When did our monitor care about the poor students?”
“Oh, don’t you always have a bad eye for us?”
“Monitor, I heard that you have summed up the knowledge points. Show them to us!” I
wasn’t at ease, but when I heard this, I looked at Song Jingnian. He curled his head, and I said, “Yes.”
Suddenly, Song Jingnian stood up, grabbed my breakfast and threw it on the ground.
I was stunned.
“Joy, how did I know you were such a virgin for the first day?”
Sung Ching-nien’s tone was sarcastic? Care about your classmates? Is that something you would do?
He lifted his foot and stepped on the bag of breakfast, which was steaming hot and was trampled to pieces.
Song Jingnian looked down at me and said, “Don’t flatter yourself.” All
the hecklers were silenced, but I moved my mouth and said, “Just think of me as being self-sentimental.”
I squatted down and picked up the old bag of breakfast. I pulled the corners of my mouth and said, “I’ll throw it away.”
I kept telling myself that Song Jingnian, who is eighteen years old, is different from twenty-eight years old.
The latter loves me, while the former loathes me.
But it doesn’t matter. Eighteen is always going to be twenty-eight.
Until I went to the trash can and saw a thick stack of notes inside.
The dense words on it were all written in as much detail as I could from Song Jingnian’s point of view.
Now it’s been ripped in half without a sound.
Oh, and there are black shoe prints on it. The
heart was suddenly pricked, like a needle.
I calmly took out the paper and calmly threw in the rotten breakfast.
Song Jingnian leans against the doorway and looks on coldly. “What are you pretending to be, Qiao Yiyi?”
I smiled and said nothing.
I pretend to be Nima.
I still keep bringing him breakfast every day, and I haven’t missed a day. It took only a month for
Song Jingnian to go from throwing it away with a cold eye to accepting it with grace.
“Why are you so slow today?” When the
hot breakfast was brought to him, he looked disgusted and quickly opened it.
His eyes glanced past my hands, which were red with cold. Sung was shocked. I stared at him and said, “I’m cold.”
I looked at him, and if it was Song Jingnian, who was 28 years old, he would almost cut off his own hand with remorse.
But Sung, 18, curled his lips and said, “It serves you right. If you don’t know how to put on more clothes, you won’t be cold to death.”
I nodded. “You’re right.”
When I returned to my seat in the first row, I suddenly remembered that I still had a carton of milk in my pocket, so I turned back.
Just a few steps closer, he saw Hsieh Ran throw himself into Sung’s arms, pointing to his breakfast and asking him in a charming voice, “Do you really like her?”
Sung’s voice is casual, with his usual casualness. “It’s just for fun.”
“You see, she used to be so proud, but now she’s kneeling down and licking me.”
At this point he paused, then sneered, “What fun..”
4
Play?
I pondered these two words little by little and looked up at Xie Ran’s gloating eyes.
She tilted her head. “I knew it. I know you best.”
“Then throw this breakfast away and I’ll buy you a new one.”
Song Jingnian was silent, then shook off his hand and said, “Whatever.” The milk
in my hand became warm and cool.
I laughed and suddenly felt that all this was a joke.
What, back in the day? What am I doing here?
For the 18-year-old Song Jingnian, I finally made a serious and objective evaluation.
Really, I hate it.
Hearing my voice, Song Jingnian’s shoulder and neck stiffened, as if aware of something, and suddenly pushed the table away.
He looked back in horror. “Joy!”! What are you doing here?
“When did you get here?”
I said “hmm”, “from the time you said play.”
“Go on, I’ll keep listening.” The
classroom is quiet for a moment, and Sung sits there with an ugly face. He scratches his hair, and his tone finally turns from urgency to contempt. “It’s you who flatter yourself. I told you long ago to mind your own business.”
“Joy, you don’t really like me, do you?” His
lips turned up and he said viciously, “Are you happy to lick the dog?”? I wouldn’t mind if you licked a little longer.
“By the way, the breakfast is delicious.”
But Hsieh ran tugged at his arm and said, “Don’t say that. It hurts a girl’s heart.”
She said so thoughtfully, but her face was full of provocation to me.
I clenched the milk in my hand and felt vaguely that the man was strange.
Too strange, how could Song Jingnian do this to me?
“Don’t like it.”
Song frowned. “What did you say?”
I took a deep breath. “I don’t like you.”
Eighteen-year-old Song Jingnian is bad and cold, and I don’t like him.
He was still laughing disdainfully. “Who believes it? Say it again if you have the ability.” When the
milk was completely cold, I tore open the package and reached for it.
Crash-
it all fell down.
Soong Ching-nien was caught off guard and drenched in milk. The person who had the biggest reaction was Hsieh Ran. She screamed in amazement, “Joy Yi-yi, are you sick?”.
I ignored her and calmly repeated, “I don’t like you.”
Song Jingnian was stunned at first, and then he was furious. “You’re capable, aren’t you?”
I looked at this familiar and strange face with an expressionless face, and the pain in my heart gradually returned to calm. That’s it
. I don’t want to get married.
I hate it. I really hate it.
I turned around and walked away, and the next second I heard a huge boom behind me.
Song Jingnian kicked the table like crazy, “Qiao Yiyi, you dare to go!”! If you leave like this today, you’ll never ask me to forgive you again!
I didn’t stop.
“Joy Yee!” The sound of the
wind and the sound of something being hit made my shoulder hurt.
Looking down, it was the breakfast I gave Song Jingnian.
At the same time, my arm was pulled back. Song Jingnian stared at me with red eyes. Then he looked at Xie Ran, “What are you doing?”
It was Xie Ran who hit me.
Seeing his questioning, Hsieh ran’s eyes immediately turned red, and he asked in disbelief, “Do you blame me?”
“Would I be so angry if she hadn’t spilled your milk?”
She wiped her pitiful eyes. “Can’t I avenge you?”
“Then don’t do it.” Song Jingnian relaxed a lot.
I looked coldly at the two childhood sweethearts and pulled out my hand.
“Song Jingnian.”
He raised his eyebrows and showed off as if he were taking credit? Do you regret it?
“It’s no use regretting. If you dare to splash me, I can’t forgive you.”
He pointed at Xie Ran and said, “How about this? You don’t have to apologize to me, just to Ran Ran.”
I laughed, and this time I really wanted to laugh.
Song Jingnian immediately stopped talking. He stared at my face with an awkward expression. “You apologize, and I can’t forgive you.” Don’t do it again.
My eyes fell on the thick Xinhua Dictionary on the table next to me.
The backhand hit Xie Ran. I laughed heartily when I
heard Xie Ran’s scream.
I am never willing to suffer losses.
“You’re in the way.”
I made the mistake of walking past Song Jingnian. “Go take care of your little green plum.”
I no longer pay attention to Song Jingnian, and more and more papers are piled up on the desk of Senior Three.
I no longer care about whether Song Jingnian will study hard, how his college entrance examination is, how his future is, it doesn’t matter.
“Where’s my breakfast?”
Song Jingnian saw me come in empty-handed and asked subconsciously.
But he took my deskmate’s seat, and I just wanted to frown, “This is not your seat, go back to your seat.” As soon as
Song Jingnian froze, his face turned cold. “If I don’t have it, I don’t have it. I don’t care.”
He strode away and then came back and threw a textbook on my desk.
“This is my homework. Didn’t you ask me to hand it in long ago?”
“Song Jingnian.” I shouted.
He stopped at once and stared at me brightly. “What are you doing?”
I didn’t even look up. “I told the teacher that I wouldn’t be in charge of your homework.”
“So you can take it.”
Song Jingnian clenched his fists. “What do you mean, Qiao Yiyi?”? You want to get rid of me? Then
I looked up and quietly asked him, “What’s the relationship between us?”
Twenty-eight-year-old Song Jingnian, I still worry about the relationship with his unmarried couple.
But Song Jingnian, 18 years old, I don’t want to see him again even for a minute.
So, “What does that have to do with us?”
“Well, you’re fine.” Song Jingnian gritted his teeth and said, “This is the last chance I’ll give you!”
I didn’t care at all, and even disliked him for wasting my time doing exercises.
Even if I do it again, I will go to the best university.
At that moment Hsieh ran brought him breakfast, and his expression immediately softened. “See? I don’t need anything at all.”
Yes, he is not short. It turns out that I really flatter myself.
Hsieh Ran glanced at me and said, “Brother Sung, shall I come and send it to you from now on?”
“Yes, of course.”
Song Jingnian stared at me heavily, stressing, “I like it very much.”
My hand was suddenly burned, and a carton of milk was put on my desk.
“For you.” Sung takes a deep breath. “I don’t like to owe people anything. This is for you.” Give me back what
Xie Ran gave me. He is really capable.
I’m sick. “I don’t need it.”
“You can drink it or throw it away.”
Song Jingnian lowered his eyes, his eyes darkened, and said, “Maybe you can splash me again.”
I finally looked up at him and wondered, “Song Jingnian, don’t be a bitch.” The blue veins on
Song Jingnian’s forehead burst, which was a sign of his extreme anger.
I was not afraid to watch him keep tightening his fingers, and the carton of milk was crushed and thrown into the trash can. Song Jingnian finally stopped appearing in front of me,
perhaps because of my “bitchy” remark. The person who
collected the homework was replaced by another class representative, and every time he received it in the last row, he could hear Song Jingnian’s impatient voice: “I didn’t write it, I won’t hand it in!”
When Hsieh ran came to see him, his frequency skyrocketed, and every time he would deliberately pass by my position and say, “I’ve brought you breakfast.”
“Here are my notes.”
Song Jingnian accepted everything, and they became more and more intimate. After the
winter vacation, the school organized a basketball game, I received the task of delivering water to the players, and I was stunned.
The teacher in charge of the class didn’t say much, so I could only hold the water and wait outside.
Suddenly there was a sound.
“What are you doing here?”
Xie ran brought a bottle of water and a towel, dressed in cheerleading clothes, with delicate makeup on his face.
As soon as he saw me, his face was full of sarcasm. “You stay away from Brother Song, and you say you don’t like it. You’re addicted to licking dogs, aren’t you?” I
didn’t bother to explain to her, so I shook the water on my hand. “If you don’t want to hurt again, just shut up.”
Xie ran’s face turned green, apparently thinking of the last lesson.
“You..”
Suddenly she burst into tears. “I didn’t provoke you, so why are you holding on to me?”
Seeing her like this, I was so blessed that I turned around and saw Song Jingnian’s face.
“Don’t bully her.”
Sung Ching-nien frowned, and his tone slowed down a little. “Are you going to bring me water?” He asked.
This is indeed the order of the head teacher, and I am noncommittal.
Song Jingnian could not help laughing, naturally stretched out his hand, I was ready to give him to go, but see the next second, his fingers changed direction.
Skip me and take Xie Ran’s water.
“We have nothing to do with each other.”
I nodded and agreed very much. Song Jingnian was not the only one in the
basketball team. I handed the bottle of water to the next player who came out. It’s the same
for anyone.
No one expected that Song Jingnian would suddenly go mad and hit the player.
“Song Jingnian!” The venue that
had just finished the game was crowded with people, and someone immediately came forward to pull him away. The member of the team was beaten for
no reason, and he was so angry that he couldn’t pull it apart for a while.
Xie ran in the side are scared silly, want to stop the fight but dare not, I called the management of the venue teacher to come over, the last three or four people barely hold down Song Jingnian.
The school doctor also rushed over to check the injury, so the team members who were beaten were all right, and I was relieved.
Just as he was about to leave, the next second a shrill cry pierced his eardrums:
“Joy!”
Song Jingnian’s eyes were red, and he couldn’t move. He scrambled toward me. “Don’t you dare go!”.
“You can’t go!”
When he saw me turn around, he kept raising his neck like a goose waiting to be killed. “You can’t leave me alone!”
I really don’t understand him. He’s the one who says he’s playing, and he’s the one who wants to hold on to me.
There is a kind of person, he does not love you, but also refused to let you go.
Eighteen-year-old Song Jingnian, too? Or maybe he can’t give up me as a “licking dog”?
I slowly squatted down and looked at his tender face. By this time, I could see the outline of Song Jingnian, 28 years old.
He stared into my eyes with a secret hope that perhaps he did not know.
I smiled and patted him on the cheek.
“I told you, Song Jingnian, don’t be a bitch.”
Xie Ran is going to transfer to another school.
I heard that there was something wrong with the family, and the whole family would move to other places.
My back was poked, and I turned around to see Song Jingnian holding a paper. “Monitor, how do you do this?”? Can you teach me?
He suddenly began to study, which coincided with the past of Song Jingnian in my memory, and also rose in the second half of Senior Three. Only
then did I understand that it was because of Xie Ran.
He pointed to a question that was not simple, and his posture was no different from that of a classmate with an ordinary question.
I did the math and looked up to see him staring at me in a daze.
“Song Jingnian?” I frowned. “If you want to thank her, go find her. Don’t waste my time.”
He raised the corners of his mouth, trying not to smile. “I’m watching you talk.”
Then he really repeated the steps of solving the problem.
Exactly, as if he would have been.
I was noncommittal. “Next time you can ask the teacher directly.”
Song Jingnian was silent for a moment, then suddenly asked, “If I hadn’t said that, would you still be nice to me now?”
“Not much?”
“Play or lick the dog?” Every time
I said a word, his face turned white. I shook my head. “No.”
I don’t like Song Jingnian, who is eighteen years old. Even without those words, I will realize this problem sooner or later.
I even wonder why there is such a big difference between a person at the age of eighteen and twenty-eight.
Song Jingnian took out a book that was sparsely stuck, and I recognized it for a long time before I recognized that it was the notes I had made for him that he had torn up at that time.
He held it carefully. “I found it. I spent a lot of time looking in the school trash can.”
“I remember it was torn in half.”
Now look again, it is clear that it is torn to pieces like hatred.
Song Jingnian stiffened and said, “Then I came to tear it up.” He looked at me and said, “Don’t blame her. She thinks you’re bothering me.”
I laughed. “It doesn’t matter. It’s none of my business to tear it up.”
“It’s none of your business!” “You summed it up bit by bit for me, and I read it later. It really worked!”.
He also knew that I really wanted to be good to him at that time, but he did not hesitate to tear it up. In fact,
the matter has passed, but now he brings it up again and again. A little bit of
depression in the bottom of my heart, even clay figure, there are three points of temper.
So? What are you trying to prove?
I breathed a sigh of relief. “Prove how much I licked?”? Prove how blind I am? Or should I be grateful if you pick it up now as a favor?
“That’s not what I meant.” Song Jingnian choked. “I just want to do something.” Make you not hate me so much.
God has eyes, so he can see that I hate him.
He looked at my expression and suddenly realized, “I know. Do you mind?”
“You used to like me so much, but how can you suddenly not like me? Is it because of Ran Ran that you lose your temper?”
The more he spoke, the more sure he became. “Don’t think too much. Ran Ran and I were childhood sweethearts. If we had anything, we would have been together long ago.”
“But she and I are just friends.”
At the end, he lowered his voice. “Actually, I seem to like you a little.”
Then he straightened his chest and said, “I promise to be with you.”
His rambling stopped when I picked up the note.
“Sung Ching-nien, you really know how to make up your mind.”
The scotch tape could easily tear the note again, and I tore it to pieces in front of him. “I told you, I don’t care anymore.”
“I have nothing to do with you or Hsieh Ran.”
Song Jingnian reached out his hand and stroked the pieces, but they were so broken that his chest kept rising and falling, and he became angry from embarrassment. “Qiao Yiyi!”
He tugged at my arm. “Don’t push your luck!”! I’ve already apologized. What more do you want?
You see, he will never learn to bow his head, and after a charitable apology, if it is not as good as he wants, he will immediately fall out.
“Just because I said that, you’re going to do it to the end, aren’t you?”
He was red-eyed. “I’m not..” I don’t have to be you! When I
received Xie Ran’s message, I didn’t take it to heart until she sent me a picture of her legs close together, one sitting and the other standing.
And it was my desk that was sitting. I
admit I was threatened. If they did anything on my desk, it would be too dirty. There is no one in the teaching building after
school, and it is quiet.
I pushed open the door of the classroom and saw two people hugging each other in the first row.
Song Jingnian stood, while Xie Ran sat on my desk.
One lowers his head, the other looks up, and the yellow sunlight hits the overlapping shadows of the two people, which is very intimate.
I almost kissed him.
That’s why Xie ran brought me here.
I laughed. “You guys are really good at finding places.”
Song Jingnian pushed Xie Ran away and turned pale.
Because the movement was so loud, the tables next to it made a “thump” sound.
Xie ran was supporting his shoulder, but this time he almost fell down.
Qiao Yiyi.. What are you doing here?
Song Jingnian lowered his head and mumbled, “School is over. You shouldn’t be here.”
I nodded. “Sorry to bother you, but can you go somewhere else?”
I pointed to my desk. “It’s dirty.”
Hsieh Ran said proudly, “I’m with Brother Sung. You don’t have a chance!”
“I know, I know.” Didn’t
she bring me here to announce this? She used such a way to respond to me.
The clothes were suddenly grabbed, and Sung’s fingertips turned white. “I didn’t.”
He gritted his teeth and explained with difficulty: “I didn’t kiss, I didn’t kiss.”
“If she comes a little later, she will kiss!” Hsieh Ran jumped off the table and said angrily, “Brother Sung, I’m going to transfer to another school, and you promised to be with me. What can’t you admit?”
Song Jingnian only kept shaking his head, unable to say a word.
I thought of his remark that it was not necessary for me, and he did so.
I said calmly, “I told you, your business has nothing to do with me.”.
If you don’t answer me at my desk, I’m not interested at all.
“Tomorrow I’ll change the table. If you want this one, you can have it. That’s it.”
I wanted to leave, but Song Jingnian was still holding on to my clothes. He was still handsome, but no longer making public, “I didn’t kiss, don’t be angry..” I was wrong, I shouldn’t have said the wrong thing, I shouldn’t have done the wrong thing. I was wrong.
“I was too angry. I thought it wasn’t necessary for you, so I asked her to have a try.”
“I really regret it.”
I broke his hand and said, “There’s no need, Song Jingnian. I was wrong.”
Eighteen-year-old Song Jingnian is free to love and hate who he likes. I was wrong from the beginning.
I shouldn’t have put my expectations of 28-year-old Song Jingnian on him. It’s not fair.
He is not the Song Jingnian I want. There is no moment when
I am more aware of this fact than now.
Hsieh ran listened as he distanced himself from the relationship sentence by sentence and broke down crying. “What do you mean?”? Why do you say you regret it?
“Sung Ching-nien, make it clear to me!” It
‘s too noisy. It gives me a headache.
I broke off Song Jingnian’s last finger and said, “I won’t bother you.”
Song Jingnian was startled and panicked. “No..”
“You can’t do this to me..”
As I was about to walk out of the classroom, he hissed out his last words,
“Jojo!”
I suddenly looked back, but saw Song Jingnian fainted. Song Jingnian, who is only 28 years old, can shout the name
of Qiaoqiao.
For a moment, I almost thought I was hearing voices.
But Hsieh Ran also heard this, and in a panic he held him up. “What Jojo?”
At this time, there were few people in the school, and finally Xie Ran and I brought Song Jingnian to the school clinic.
“What are you still doing here?”
Hsieh Ran’s face was full of resentment. “If it weren’t for you, how could he be like this?”
“He and I have been childhood sweethearts for more than ten years. If it weren’t for you, we would be together smoothly!”
I suddenly thought of Song Jingnian’s words, “We are pure friendship.”.
So how can there be so much pure friendship between men and women?
One is unintentional, the other is hidden.
Although I miss that name, I really don’t fit to stay any longer. Song Jingnian asked for sick leave
the next day and disappeared for a whole week.
Then I got a phone call, and the phone “beeped” for a long time, but the other side didn’t speak.
But inexplicably, I had a premonition, “Song Jingnian?”
The other side was still quiet until I asked slowly, “Is that you?”? Twenty-eight-year-old Sung Ching-nien.
“Jojo.”
After a while, he sighed.
This time it’s not coming from the receiver, it’s coming from behind me.
A week later, Song Jingnian was much thinner, wearing the shell of eighteen years old. He looked at me quietly.
I never thought that he and I would have such a silent day.
“When did you get here?” I asked him, “When did you wear it?”
He dropped his eyes. “A week ago.”
A week ago, the moment he fainted.
I don’t know what to say. “How’s the wedding going?”
“You disappeared. I postponed the wedding.”
“Oh, no cancellation.” My mind is in a mess. “Cancel it.”
Sung Ching-nien suddenly stepped forward and said, “Don’t cancel.”
I unconsciously shook off his hand. There was a
snap, and we were all stunned. When
I looked at Song Jingnian’s injured eyes, he put up with it and was embarrassed. “Why should I cancel?”? Why should I take responsibility for his mistakes?
“Jojo, this is not fair to me.”
Song Jingnian’s eyes were moist, as if he had returned to the day before his wedding and cried with me in his arms.
He confirmed again and again, “I’m really going to marry you.”
But now he is crying and asking me, “Why did you cancel?”
“I broke up with Hsieh Ran.”
He bowed his head. “She won’t affect us anymore.”
But he and I both know that the problem between us has never been Xie Ran.
Why cancel it?
I asked myself, why should the humiliation brought by the 18-year-old Song Jingnian be imposed on the 28-year-old Song Jingnian? It seems unfair
to me, to Song Jingnian, and to Xie Ran.
But I don’t know the answer myself. In this way,
we were deadlocked, dressed in the shell of eighteen years old, preparing for the upcoming college entrance examination.
Twenty-eight-year-old Song Jingnian is still very kind to me. I never lack warm breakfast in my desk hole, hot water in my cup, and even warm babies are placed in the most prominent position during my menstrual period.
I saw the note in his book, the note that had been torn up twice and glued together again. Sung ching-ni
en pinched his fingers, his voice a little hoarse. “I picked it up again.”
He even smiled a little more ingratiatingly. “I won’t lose it again.”
I suddenly feel a little sad.
I looked at the man who had been so close to joining hands for the rest of his life, and asked softly,
“But Song Jingnian, how did you know about this note?”
He was stunned. “I..” I have his memories.
“But I didn’t. I came here dressed up, and I don’t have this memory of myself when I was 18.”
I have been living on the sporadic memories of the age of eighteen. How did
Song Jingnian come into being? Do you still watch people download the disc with or
without memory? Or did he never know what he did to me when he was eighteen.
Why are my memories of being eighteen so fragmentary? I
only remember that I didn’t have a good relationship with you, and I only remember that one day your grades suddenly went up. Even Hsieh Ran, I only got the impression because I saw her looking for you when I was in my twenties. I can’t even remember where my home was at
this time.
“But you remember this note and I brought you breakfast. We didn’t have a good relationship at this time. How could you know this at the age of 28?”
I smiled bitterly. “Tell me, why is this?”
Song Jingnian’s lips trembled and he could not say a word.
I asked him, “Where are my memories of being eighteen?”
He stood there at a loss, his face in pain, and finally told the whole story: “You had a car accident, and the doctor said you had selective amnesia, and what you lost happened to be the memory of the year you were 18.”
Selective amnesia is often about forgetting your most painful memories that you don’t want to face.
So what happened when I was 18? It took
me a long time to say my guess: “I like you, don’t I?”
“But at that time you were just as disgusted with me as this 18-year-old Sung Ching-nien. You threw away my breakfast, tore up my notes, and told Hsieh Ran that you were just playing with me, or even worse..”
Song Jingnian’s face was pale, but it also thoroughly confirmed my guess.
My whole body began to tremble. “But at 18, I was far less strong than I am now.”
“I was humiliated, isolated, and finally depressed. It wasn’t until college that I got better.”
So that’s it.
“The funny thing is, you fell in love with me?”
Song Jingnian almost knelt down and said, “I’m sorry, I’m sorry.”
He covered his head. “I wanted to change all this.”
After he knew I had no memory of being eighteen, he approached me and made me fall in love with him and get married.
But who would have thought that the day before I got married, I would wear 18 years old and witness my lost memories again.
He had the nerve to ask me why I called off the wedding?
Ha.
I wanted to laugh, but my heart was like being cut by a knife all the time, and the pain made me breathless.
I looked away and gave him back the breakfast, the hot water and the warm baby.
“We are finished.”
I never said a word to Song Jingnian again.
Everything, he sends one, I throw one.
He always looked at me in silence with sad eyes.
“Can’t you just be a friend?”
I shook my head.
Song Jingnian bit his lip. “That, that..”
He lowered his head in embarrassment and gave a difficult smile. “Lick the dog?”
I looked over and saw his lips, which were as white as paper even if he bit them hard.
I shook my head again. “No.”
He was very sad, but I could hear her crying every day. It was my eighteen years old who was telling her how scared she was over and over again.
I can only plunge into my study. On the day of the
college entrance examination, it rained heavily. When I
walked out of the examination room, I saw a black umbrella, and I knew who sent it.
Song Jingnian stood far away and looked at me. He was soaked to the skin. The rain ran down his hair and stuck to me.
The whole person is almost transparent.
He just stood there, motionless, as if his whole life had stopped at that moment.
I didn’t touch the umbrella. After seeing the weather forecast
in advance, I brought my own umbrella.
I finally got out of the cage of eighteen years old. The crying in
my ears stopped, and I was finally relieved.
“Goodbye, Song Jingnian.”
“We’ll never see each other again.”
(Song Jingnian Fanwai)
Eighteen-year-old Song Jingnian is proud and flamboyant, and cannot learn to bow his head.
After all, he has a good family background and good appearance. Even if he studies a little harder, he can get a good result. There are many people who
like him. He knows their love clearly, but he never cares. The
funny thing is that the annoying monitor likes him too. Every
time Mingming urges his homework, he has a serious expression, but when he delivers his breakfast, he has another expression. Timidly and shyly,
she summoned up all her courage and said, “Song Jingnian, didn’t you have breakfast?”? You can have mine.
He took it once, and every breakfast after that was packed by her.
It’s a clumsy and simple way to pursue. What was
her name again? The name after removing the code name of the squad leader.
Song Jingnian thought for a long time.
Oh, Joy.
He liked Qiao Yiyi’s expression very much, especially the kind of shyness that wanted to approach but dared not.
Knowing that he was not good at learning, Qiao Yiyi made a detailed note, but unfortunately he was taken away by Xie Ran as soon as he looked at it.
“Another little girl who likes you.”
Xie Ran smiled and tore up the note carelessly, just like tearing up the love letters sent by others many times.
Song Jingnian hesitated for the first time, but only a little, and then calmly watched the notes full of words being thrown into the trash can.
“You don’t really like her, do you?” Xie ran asked.
But Soong’s first reaction was to deny it: “How is that possible?”
Like him so many people, there is no lack of excellent people, Qiao Yiyi is too ordinary, why does he like Qiao Yiyi?
He just liked the way she looked at him every time, vividly and vividly.
It’s kind of nice, but that’s all.
“It’s just for fun. How much fun is it for such an arrogant squad leader to see her as a licking dog?”. In fact,
he seldom said such a mean thing, but that day, as if he wanted to prove something, he poured it into his mouth more and more badly.
But it was so coincidental that Joy heard it.
Looking at her pale face, it was the first time that Song Jingnian experienced the taste of cold all over his body.
It’s okay. She likes me so much.
He told himself, convinced himself.
Qiao Yiyi ran away, his daily breakfast was gone, his notes were gone, and even his homework was not urged.
It’s like becoming a stranger in an instant.
Song Jingnian was not used to it, and he began to condemn Qiao Yiyi. Don’t
you like me?
I can’t stand to say a few words. Is that what
you like? It’s too cheap.
No matter what he said, Qiao Yiyi was indifferent, and she would no longer show the expression he liked.
Strangeness and alienation make people irritable. Who is
Song Jingnian? If he shows any unhappiness, someone will stand up for him.
So Qiao Yiyi was isolated by the whole class.
Song Jingnian knew what they were doing, but he never stopped them.
He’s going to make Joey beg him. Beg him
weakly and pitifully with the expression he likes. When he
heard about the school that Qiao Yiyi wanted to go to, he began to study hard.
He watched her go from sunshine to depression, but she didn’t say a word to him until the end of her senior year.
So Song Jingnian finally realized that he could never get close to her.
Eighteen-year-old Qiao Yiyi hates Song Jingnian.
But then she lost her memory in a car accident, and what she forgot was that she was eighteen years old.
Song Jingnian approached her and tried his best to be good to her. On the eve of the
wedding, he couldn’t help crying.
He thought that Qiao Yiyi would finally belong to him.
Who would have thought that Qiao Yiyi would be 18 years old at this time? The day before the
wedding, it was the closest and farthest moment for him to be happy.
He put it back on, too, but one step too late, one step too late is beyond redemption.
This big dream, after all, is broken.
Friends can’t do it.
“That, that..” He knew he was embarrassed. “Lick the dog?” “No,” said
Joy.
His ears are buzzing.
“Is it really impossible?”
I really can’t. The rain on the day of the
college entrance examination was really heavy. He looked at Qiao Yiyi vaguely for a long time.
He really will never see her again.
Song Jingnian held the fruit knife and fell to the ground.
Qiao Yiyi said, never see again. Let her do what she wants,
he thought.
So in the pouring rain, in a corner that no one knew, Song Jingnian, 28, closed his eyes quietly.
He killed himself at the age of eighteen.
(End)
□ Ertui
Record No.: YXX16kR4rbKFExLB8NUK1XO
Strategy Object Mistake
122
Waiting for you to finish class. Wait for you to grow up and wait for
white
night
