I am a humble singer in the country of Li, but the little general of the barbarians took a fancy to him and brought him back to his camp. Like the sun,
he said to me that he liked me without reservation, and I pulled the sun into the abyss with my own hands, deceiving him, using him and hurting him.
He chained me to my feet, imprisoned me in a house that only he knew, and rubbed my lips like a wolf and told me that I would never escape from his hands in my life.
? 1
In the barbarian bazaar. The bustling
crowd was noisy, looking at the goods and slaves in the market, bargaining with the traders, trying to get the best goods at the lowest price.
I stood next to a slaver, who pulled my chains with his dirty hands and showed me to the others as if I were pork.
“Good new stuff.” The slave trader said proudly, “Our leader has robbed a caravan of Nantuozi, and this woman is the most beautiful one in it.”
“I hear it’s a courtesan. Look at her. She’s so tender.” “If you ask me,” said the slave trader, “there are few such beauties even in Nantuo.”
“Urraca, I say, how much does this woman cost?” A big barbarian asked, “Li people are all delicate and weak. Don’t die before you toss about.” The people
around him laughed because of his words, and the slave trader laughed, “This is not for sale, but I want to give it to the king, and the king will like it.”
I listened to them with an expressionless face and kept my eyes fixed on the ground.
At that moment, I heard the sharp sound of jewelry clashing, and several people came over. They pushed aside the crowd and stood in front of the vendor. The slave trader immediately showed an ingratiating face: “General Arina, you are here.”
I looked up at the man standing in front of me.
He was dressed in the black and red robes of the barbarians, wearing a dagger inlaid with beautiful gems, and his young and handsome face was full of curiosity.
His eyes are very pale, like a wolf.
I looked him in the eye and saw that he was stunned for a moment. Then he smiled brightly and said, “How much is she worth? I want her.”
I was taken by the boy back to his house.
His name was Tille Arina, and he was the youngest and valiant little general of the barbarians.
Although the slaver was reluctant, he did not dare to offend him, so he sold me to him.
Arina talks a lot, and the expression on his face is always lively and full of vitality. What’s
your name? Are you from Lebanon? How did you get here? Arina poured water for me and untied the chains on my hands.
I bowed and said softly, “My name is Yu Yue. I’m from Li. I’ve been captured.”
Arina waved his hand and said, “Oh, don’t talk about being a slave. You just call yourself me. We don’t care about so many things here.”
Then he looked at me again with his shining eyes and asked me a lot of things.
I told him that my parents were killed by robbers when I was young, and then I went to a brothel and became a singer. I was supposed to be dedicated to the prefect of the border town, but I came here by accident.
A Ri was suddenly enlightened. He gave a long “oh” and suddenly asked me, “Your name is Yu Yue? What does it mean?
“The moon.” I answered his question softly.
“Then I’ll call you Sanka.” Arina leaned over the table and looked at me. “Sanka, it means the moon.”
“Anyway, you don’t have any family in Li, so just follow me.” The boy smiled and said, “You smell good. I like you.”
I lowered my eyes and said yes.
For me, it doesn’t matter what it’s called.
It’s just that the teenager in front of me is a little beyond my expectation.
It is said that the barbarians are all bloodthirsty and vulgar, but Arina seems to be different from them.
In his life, some of his daily eating habits have the shadow of Li people, and even some of them are elegant and precious.
But no matter what, the barbarians are just beasts in human skin, all ferocious and cruel beasts. Years of war between
Li and the barbarians, under the constant harassment of the barbarians, the people of Li suffered heavy casualties. They plundered the food and women of Li, killed the men of Li, destroyed the cities of Li, and made the people of the border of Li miserable all the year round.
But all the people of Li with a little blood and uprightness hate the barbarians deeply.
I stayed with Arina.
Arina didn’t let me serve him, but occasionally let me play the lute for him.
Arina said that he had never heard this instrument of the Li people, and that the sound of the music was very different from that of the barbarians.
“You play it. I like it.” Arina was lying on the table with a light in his eyes.
At this time, he is not like the most brave little general in the barbarians, but like a naive child who is not deeply involved in the world.
He likes to listen to me and listen to my stories about Li, but I don’t have any good stories to tell him. For the
first half of my life, I have been wandering, and there are no wonderful stories to tell.
Arina saw my reticence. He always asked me, “Sanka, why don’t you laugh?”? Is it because you Li people don’t like to laugh?
I was stunned, then shook my head and said nothing.
There is nothing to be happy about, and naturally there is no need to laugh.
What’s more, how can I laugh in a place full of barbarians.
Arina rolled his eyes and took me by the hand and walked out of the camp.
He took me outside. There were a lot of people at the fair.
Along the way, Arina introduced me to what was sold around me and bought me a lot of barbarian gadgets.
“Do you like it?” Every time he bought something, he would ask me like this.
I didn’t think there was anything interesting about these gadgets, but I looked at Ah Ri’s expectant face and nodded. “You don’t like it, do you?”
Ah Ri Na suddenly broke down? Why else wouldn’t you laugh? I really can’t answer
this question. I just look into his eyes and don’t speak.
When Arina saw me like this, she naturally took my hand and said, “Forget it. If you don’t like it, you don’t like it. I’ll take you to see something more interesting!”
In this way, he took me by the hand and walked all over the market.
From the beginning to the end, he never let go of his hand. Someone stopped us
on the way. He looked me up and down and said maliciously, “Oh, Arina, is this the Li Concubine you bought?”? He is quite good-looking.
“Shut up, Satu. I think you’re in trouble again.”
The man did not know how to restrain himself, but spoke wildly, and his words became more and more ugly, and Arina held my hand more and more tightly.
Suddenly he let go of my hand, stepped forward and threatened in a low voice, “Satu, if you do that again, I will tear you down and feed you to the wolves.”
The defiant man was stunned and then sneered, “Then come and see who should be sent to feed the wolves.”
The two men fought.
It was a brutal fight, the two men fought with their bare hands, the opponent was much stronger than Arina, and standing in front of Arina was like an iron tower.
But Arina was not afraid at all. He was so dexterous and much stronger than man on the opposite side. He knocked the enemy down in a circle, so that he could not get up for half a day.
This was Arina, whom I had never seen before. He looked down at his enemies with awe-inspiring momentum. I finally understood why the barbarians regarded this young man as their future God of war. Although he had not yet fully grown up, he was already able to deter one side with his ability.
This is the young general of the barbarians.
Arina beat the man and then walked up to me. He wiped the blood from his hands on his clothes and gently took my hand.
“Are you afraid?” “I know you Li people don’t like to fight, but some people just need to be beaten.” Ah Ri asked me nervously.
I looked at Arina, smiled and said, “You’re right.”
I know Arina likes my smile, so even if I don’t want to smile, I’m willing to give him a little sweetness.
He can punch his own people for me, and I like that.
I like to watch barbarians killing each other. That makes me happier than all the things Arina showed me today.
A Ri was a little stupefied, and then his ears were a little crimson.
You.. You look good when you smile. “Just like my grandmother,” Alina whispered.
Arina’s grandmother was from the country of Li.
It is said that it was a maidservant beside the princess when Li was making peace with the barbarians.
Later, she married Arina’s grandfather, and they loved each other very much and raised Arina’s father.
But Arina’s grandfather and father died on the battlefield, leaving only his grandmother and Arina to depend on each other. Five years ago, Arina’s grandmother also died, leaving him alone in the family.
Arina loved his grandmother very much.
Perhaps it was because his grandmother and I were both from the country of Li that Arina treated me differently.
I also understand why I can see the shadow of Li people in Arina. He is a child raised by Li people.
Arina told me to call him Tiller.
This is a very close name, I hesitated for a moment, and did not refuse.
Tiller loves to hear me say his name. Every time I say his name, his eyes always sparkle.
Like a little wolf dog waiting for its master’s command at any time.
Sometimes he listened to me speak Li with a kind of nostalgia in his eyes, and I guessed that Tiller might miss his grandmother.
Barbarians advocate bloodline, Tiller has a part of Li bloodline in his body, and he has become a small general at a young age, which naturally makes some people unconvinced.
Tiller told me that when he was a child, he often fought with others, and every time he lost, he would go to his grandmother to cry. His grandmother always comforted him and made his favorite food by herself.
“But after my grandmother left, I never lost again.” Tiller said this with a smile on his face. His smile was somewhat lonely and nostalgic, which gave me a strange feeling in my heart. I
remembered that when I was young, I always liked to act like a spoiled child in my mother’s arms. After my mother left, no one could let me fool around like that.
For a moment, I actually had some empathy with Tiller.
Now not only does he not lose in fights with others, but he is also very brave and invincible on the battlefield.
The boy who would act like a spoiled child in his grandmother’s arms has grown up.
“And you?” Tiller asked me, “Sanka, tell me about your childhood.”
I shook my head and said, “When I was a child, there was nothing interesting. My parents were killed by thieves. Then I was sold to a brothel to learn art, and then I came here.”
I had been displaced all my life, and the only tender moments I had were when I was young with my parents, and those memories had become blurred, and there was nothing to say with Tiller.
“Don’t worry, Sanka,” Tiller said, taking my hand. “Now that you’re with me, I’ll make you happy every day.”
I lowered my eyes, not to look at his sincere eyes, and then answered in a low voice.
That night, I had a dream. I
dreamed of the night when my parents were killed by thieves. I saw rivers of blood and wolves everywhere in my warm home. I watched my mother fall pregnant in a pool of blood. I saw my kitchen aunt’s four-year-old son hanging on a tree and dying.
I woke up from my dream and breathed heavily to calm myself.
Then I saw Tiller sleeping on the other side of the bed. His sword was beside the bed, and I could reach it.
“Sanka,” Tiller woke up, too. He turned around and asked me, “What’s the matter? Did you have a nightmare? Your head is covered with sweat.
I shook my head, indicating that he was all right.
Tiller got up and lit the lamp, sat down next to me with a concerned look in his eyes, felt my forehead with his hand, then drew a symbol on my hand and said, “This is the guardian symbol of the God of dreams. Don’t be afraid. I won’t sleep. I will watch over you and drive away your nightmares.”
I closed my eyes under his comfort, but did not fall asleep again.
However, I don’t know if it’s because the barbarians are not acclimatized, I can’t eat all day, and even if I eat, I will vomit soon.
Soon my body was getting weaker and thinner, which made Tiller very worried.
He went to the market to buy a Li slave and asked him to cook for me according to Li’s taste. Gradually, I was able to eat something, but my appetite was not good. “Sanka, you don’t eat as much as the cats I used to have,
” Tiller said as she fed me. I waved my
hand to indicate that I couldn’t eat. There was some worry
in Tiller’s eyes. “How can you do this?”? The witch doctor says you’ll starve to death if you don’t eat.
“I’m full.” I leaned back on my pillow and said, “Tiller, your bowl is ten times bigger than one I used to use. Of course I can’t eat that much.”
Tiller nodded thoughtfully and ate the rest of my food. Tiller came back late
that afternoon. It was not
until the evening that he ran in excitedly, holding a beautiful small emerald bowl in his hand. Tiller brought the bowl over for me to see: “Is this bowl beautiful?”? It took me a long time to find such a small bowl, and I was seen by the hateful Satu, who laughed at me for turning into a rabbit and using such a bowl. Then I beat him up, and he was honest.
He took out a spoon and began to feed me. “Would you feel more comfortable with a bowl like this?”? Can’t you eat more?
“I cooked the meal today, and my grandmother taught me.” Like Tiller’s offering of a treasure, there was some pride and youthful spirit between his eyebrows and eyes. “Taste it. Do you like it?” I
have a feeling in my heart that I can’t say. I didn’t expect that a word I said casually would be taken to heart by a person. No one has taken my words to heart like this for
many years.
Then I took a sip from his hand. The porridge was delicious. It was the warmest porridge I had eaten in so many years.
I looked up and smiled at Tiller. “Yes, it’s delicious.”
Tiller froze slightly, then smiled even more brightly. “Then I’ll do it for you every day.”
Because of my body, Tiller always takes me with him.
He would not deliberately avoid me when dealing with military affairs, because I did not know the language of the barbarians, nor could I understand the language of the barbarians.
Thiele was afraid that I would be bored, so he found a lot of books and Li’s gadgets, and I made an eagle-shaped paper kite with him. I would read while
he was working, and sometimes when my eyes were tired, I would look up and meet Tiller. Then
he would smile at me. After a long
time, I got used to such a peaceful day.
“What do you like, Sanka?” Tiller looked at me. “You’ve been sick for so long. I want you to be happy.”
I looked out at the endless blue sky and said to Tiller, “It’s a beautiful day today. Take me to fly paper kites.”
Tiller answered immediately. He found the paper kite we had made together from a box in the room and carried me out of the door.
Now I was not in good health, and it was early spring, and the weather was still cold, and Tiller was afraid that I would freeze, so he put a heavy cloak on me.
He put the kite in the sky and gave me the string. He also told me carefully, “Don’t put it too long. Be careful that the string will hurt you.”
I answered, and still all the lines were released, and the kite flew higher and higher until it seemed to us that there was only one point left.
“Take it back.” I pulled the string to take it back, but the kite string suddenly broke, and after a while, the kite could not be found.
“Ah.” Tiller looked at me with disappointment and said, “Our kite has flown away.”
Then he braced himself and said, “Never mind, I’ll go and get it for you.”
“No,” I clapped his hand. “It’s just a paper kite. If you lose it, you lose it. We can go back and make another one.
When Tiller heard this, he enthusiastically discussed with me what the next kite would be like. I answered absentmindedly and took a last look at the direction in which the kite disappeared.
It went where it needed to go.
The barbarians and Leo are at war again. The last king of
Li was fatuous and tyrannical. During his reign, the people in the country were in dire Straits. Later, when the new emperor ascended the throne, the situation of the country improved little by little.
But this does not mean that the strength of the state of Li can be equal to the barbarians, since the war between the state of Li and the barbarians, is eight defeats in ten battles, heavy casualties.
Tiller is going to battle, and before he leaves, he wants me to mend his armor.
“My grandmother used to sew my grandfather’s armor every time he went to war. Sanka, do the same for me.” Tiller put the armor in front of me and looked at me expectantly.
I hesitated for a moment and finally agreed.
“My needlework is not good.” I looked down at Tiller’s armor. “Don’t you mind.”
“How so?” “With the armor you sewed on me, I will be invincible on the battlefield,” Tiller said with a smile. There was innocence and joy in
his expression, and he seemed to forget that I was also a Li.
“Actually, I don’t like going to war,” said Tiller, leaning over the table and looking at me. “I used to have to go to defend the Arina family. I’m not interested in fighting.”
“I don’t like killing people either,” Tiller said. “My grandmother told me that the Lebanese are the same as the barbarians. They have family, friends, ideals and aspirations, and they are living people.”
“But the old General Tatar told me that if I didn’t kill them, they would kill me.” “When will the war be over? I want to go to your hometown with you.”
My hand, which sewed the armor, stagnated and finally said nothing.
After Tiller went to the front, my identity became more and more embarrassing.
Because I am a Li people, but stay in the barbarian general side, they said I used what Li demon method, coax Tiller like, said I am Li spy, want to catch me to torture.
It’s just that they don’t dare to do that, because I’m Tiller’s man, and that makes them afraid to do anything.
Half a month later, the barbarians were defeated. With the help of God,
Li turned defeat into victory several times in this war.
Tiller was injured and sent back, and on the same day, I was arrested.
I was hung in a dark cell, where there was a stench everywhere, and where ferocious barbarians beat me with spiked whips dipped in salt water.
The pain did not make me lose my mind. I looked at the barbarians who had beaten me and thought of many ways to kill them, but now I was under control and could not do anything.
“This Li woman must be a spy!” A big fellow shouted at my side, “If it weren’t for her, how could those Li people be so clear about our platoon?”
That is, only the generals and commanders knew about those things. How could those Nantuo people know about them? Surely a spy must have told them. Another barbarian said, “This woman is the only one who knows these secrets. She must have peeped at General Arina’s secrets and leaked them to the Li people.”
“Damn woman, shoot her!” The
whip hit me hard again, and I broke out in a cold sweat with pain, but I clenched my teeth and said nothing.
I will never show any weakness in front of the barbarians.
“The wicked witch has confused General Arina and caused us to lose the battle!” Someone came up to me and pinched my face and said ferociously, “See if I don’t ruin your face.”
I felt like I had no strength at all, and my whole body was numb with pain, but when the barbarian came and pulled my hair, I bit his hand violently.
He still had my blood on his hand, and I tried to bite off a piece of meat on his hand, but he slapped me with his other hand.
I feel like I’m dying.
I have some regrets, if I die like this, did not pull a few barbarians to do the cushion, that is really a pity.
Then I thought about Tiller in a daze. If I died here, how would Tiller behave?
Just then, a man came into the dark cell. Let
her go! Who told you to touch her? Tiller’s voice came.
Then I felt myself being held in a firm and warm embrace, and the pain in my body seemed to ease a lot.
General! She’s a spy! “If it wasn’t for her, how could we lose?”
“You have no proof. How can you prove that Sanka is a spy?” Tiller’s voice rang in my ear. “My men, you dare to move. Who gave you the courage?”
“General Arina, someone saw her talking to the Li captives. Maybe she was passing on a message. The Li people are the most cunning!”
“Shut up!” Arina said in a deep voice, “I also have a part of Li blood in me. Do you suspect that I am also a spy?”? I tell you, no one is allowed to touch Sanka again today.
“General!” The barbarian big fellow called him again, with bitterness in his voice.
I felt like I was being picked up carefully: “If she is really a spy, I will kill her myself.”
I closed my eyes in Tiller’s arms.
I fell ill and didn’t wake up for three days, and Tiller was watching over me.
Although he was badly hurt, he still stayed by my side every day, feeding me medicine and changing my dressing.
When I woke up, Tiller was still asleep next to me. A man as watchful as
he was would not have slept so soundly if he had not been too tired.
I looked at him quietly until I met a pair of bright eyes.
Tiller saw me awake, but not as cheerful as he used to be. After a while, he seemed to have calmed down a lot.
Your wound.. Feel better I spoke first in a hoarse voice.
Tiller did not speak, but poured a glass of water and fed it to me slowly. When
I saw him like this, I stopped talking, and when he finished feeding me, I asked, “Where did you hurt?”
Tiller reached out and untied his clothes, showing me the full bandage wrapped around his chest, and the blood on the bandage could be seen faintly.
I reached out to touch it, but Tiller grabbed my hand.
“Sanka, will you cheat me?” Tiller finally spoke to me.
I looked at him and said, “No.”
“They said, ‘You deceived me, saying that you are a spy of the Kingdom of Lebanon.'” Tiller’s pale pupils looked at me, and I saw a trace of confusion and pain in them. “Sanka, are you?”
I chuckled. “No.”
“Don’t lie to me.” Tiller sat next to me, his handsome face confused, and with a final flash of determination, he said, “Sanka, if you lie to me, I will kill you myself.”
“But I will never, never let anyone hurt you.” Tiller hugged me carefully and said, “Sorry, I’m a little late.”
He didn’t come too late. He saved my life.
I also put my hand around his shoulder, but I didn’t say anything.
In this way, the two of us quietly leaned together.
It’s like two wounded animals licking each other to warm each other in the cold wind.
He still cares about me as before, but sometimes he looks at me with heavy eyes and doesn’t know what he is thinking.
When Tiller’s injury was a little better, he went out again. Before he
left, he told me a lot of trivial things, and specially found a Li man to cook for me, told him my taste preferences, and asked him to cook for me every day.
My freedom was restricted, and I could not go anywhere except my own room.
They found several old women to look at me, who could only speak barbarian dialect and could not communicate with me.
I wasn’t screaming to get out. I knew that once I got out of Tiller’s tent, I didn’t know what would happen. There were plenty of people out there who wanted my life.
My health was getting worse and worse day by day. The old woman was afraid that something would happen to me, so she asked the witch doctor of the clan to check it for me, but the witch doctor couldn’t find anything. She just thought that I had been tortured and injured last time.
The weather is getting cooler.
Tiller had not been back for many days, and I spent all day in the tent, only occasionally looking at the outside world through the cracks of the tent.
Until one day, I began to vomit blood, my handkerchief was stained with blood, and the snow-white handkerchief was stained with harsh red.
I threw the dirty handkerchief on the ground, and the two old women picked it up and threw it out when they cleaned up my dirty things. When I
saw it, I closed my eyes and lay on the bed, and I passed out in a hazy sleep. When I
woke up, I found Tiller sitting next to me. His eyes were deep and quiet, so different from those of the lively teenager in the past.
“You’re back.” I heard my voice go hoarse. “Are you hurt?”
Tiller didn’t speak. He reached out and gave me a little hug. Then he turned and left the tent. There was an indescribable panic in
my heart, as if if I really let him go, he would never come back.
I struggled to get up to grab Tiller, but I missed. I woke up from my dream with
a fear that was as fine as a silk thread, and then I realized that I had just had a dream.
But the heart in my chest was still beating wildly. I got out of bed in a panic and heard two old women outside the tent saying something in rude language.
It’s just that their voices are so high and low that I can’t hear them clearly.
「…… Ah Ri, the little general, is dying.
Pity.. Our God of War.. Suddenly
I felt my heart being squeezed tightly. I forced myself to calm down, but I couldn’t do it at all.
Finally, in an instant, emotion overcame reason. I lifted the curtain of the tent and asked them in rude language, “What are you talking about? What happened to General Arina?”
The old women looked at me and did not speak. They became as quiet as wooden stakes. I wanted to open my mouth again to urge them, but I saw a figure slowly coming out of the darkness.
It’s the impassive Tiller.
He looked at me as if I were a stranger.
“You can talk like a fool.” His face was calm, but he clenched his fists. “Why did you lie to me?”
“Yuyue,” he called my name, “you are the spy of the Kingdom of Li.”
Tiller’s words are always so straightforward that he can’t learn the twists and turns of others.
I looked away from him.
Tiller gritted his teeth and said, “They all say that the women of Li are the best deceivers. I thought you were different.”
A suffocating silence spread through the air.
“Why do you pretend you can’t speak English when you can?” Tiller lifted my chin and told me to look at him.
“Our people have been defeated again this time, again because someone leaked the military plane.” There was no light in his eyes. “And I only talked to the soldiers in rude language in front of you about the deployment. They would never betray me.”
“Only you, Yuyue, you said you couldn’t understand the language. I trusted you so much. Why did you lie to me?” The hand that
held my chin squeezed harder, and then I felt Tiller snap closer to me. He bit my neck hard, and I grunted in pain and squeezed his shoulder. There’s nothing to hide
now. When I
said I would not cheat him, I meant I would not cheat him once, but I would cheat him many times.
My acquiescence made Tiller’s reaction more intense.
“Don’t think I won’t kill you.” Tiller’s fangs were grinding against my earlobes. “We barbarians eat people.”
I smelled the blood on Tiller, and I asked him, “Is your wound still there?”
“Don’t pretend to care about me.” Tiller released me and looked away coldly. “I don’t know if you’re telling the truth or not, and I don’t want you to pretend to care.”
“Do you know that I almost died on the battlefield because of that spy’s leak?”
Then he got up and went out.
I looked at the back of his departure and clenched his bedding.
Because of my momentary mistake, because of my feelings that should not exist, my identity was exposed to Tiller, and he was right that I was indeed the work of Li Guo.
I almost got him killed.
Tiller took me prisoner. The house where
he imprisoned me was deep in the woods, quiet and remote, and almost impossible for anyone to find.
He tied a special chain to my feet, and one end of the chain was connected to the head of the cage-like bed made of iron. I don’t know what material
the chain is made of. Although it is light, it is so tough that it can’t be cut off at all. The
chain was not long, just enough for me to get from the bed to the outer room, and there was still a long distance from the door.
“Like it?” Tiller asked me, “It was found in your caravan in the Kingdom of Li.”
I don’t want to talk to him, so I don’t say a word when he does.
I don’t know how to face Tiller. He is the general of the barbarians, and I am the general of the kingdom of Li. The reason why I came here is to kill more barbarians.
But I paid too much attention to Tiller, and even had feelings that I shouldn’t have, which tortured me and made me not know how to deal with it for a while.
Tiller saw my silence and threw me down on the bed.
“Yuyue, do you remember what I said before?” His eyes were like real wolf’s eyes, full of anger and marauding. “I say, if you betray me, I will kill you.”
“Kill it.” I whispered, “You should have killed me.” When
I said this, however, it seemed to arouse Tiller’s anger even more.
“You want to die so much, but I won’t let you.” Tiller’s hand was on my neck. “I won’t kill you. I’ll torture you slowly.” Then
he lowered his head and bit me on the neck.
I closed my eyes, but felt no pain.
Like a puppy. Just then
, there was a noise outside the door, as if someone was shouting something outside.
Tiller looked up. He looked at me blankly, as if he didn’t understand what he had just done.
“Don’t think of running away.” Tiller got out of bed and said dryly, “You can’t get away with this.” There was nothing in the room
where Tiller kept me, nothing to pass the time.
In this environment, the time will become very long.
Especially without Tiller.
He is very busy, and he doesn’t come here every day.
One night, Tiller came over smelling of alcohol.
He seems to be drunk.
The drunken Tiller seemed to have become the lively and talkative teenager he had been at the beginning. “Sanka, why? Why are you doing this to me?”
He said coquettishly on my lap.
“I like you so much, why did you lie to me?”
“Do you want me to die for the sake of the people of Li?”
I don’t know if that’s where he was sad, but Tiller suddenly sat up straight and pressed my shoulder so that I could look him in the eye. “I won’t let you leave me.” Then
he leaned over.
I saw his handsome face enlarge in front of me, and then a soft lip with the smell of alcohol kissed me.
It was a green and unorganized kiss.
After a while, Tiller finally released me.
He leaned against me and murmured sadly, “Sanka, I like you very much. I like you. Why can’t you like me?” Without speaking,
I gently stroked his hair.
After a while, he finally went to sleep.
I looked at his sleeping face and pulled a hairpin from his head. There is a tiny hidden weapon hidden in
the hairpin. As long as I stick this hidden weapon in Tiller’s life gate, he will die.
Slowly, I got closer to Tiller.
He slept so unconsciously that he had no defense against me as a spy.
My hands were even a little sweaty as I squeezed the hairpin, and I aimed it at Tiller’s temple.
With one click, I can get out of here and go back to my country and never have to see Tiller again.
But I found that I could not harvest the life of the young man in front of me with a calm heart. There seemed to be two people in
my heart. One encouraged me to kill Tiller because he was a barbarian. He killed a lot of Li people. He was my enemy and my enemy.
Another person jumped out to stop me. She told me to think about Tiller’s kindness to me. Without Tiller, I would have died long ago.
I owe him my life. Under the entanglement of the
two sides, I couldn’t make a choice for a while.
I decided to leave before Tiller woke up.
At the moment when I turned around, someone took my hand. As soon as
I looked back, I saw that Tiller was awake.
He looked much more sober than before.
“Are you going to run away?” Tiller pushed and brought me back to him.
My lips were kissed hard again. After a while, Tiller said, “No, Yuyue, you can’t run away from me in your life.”
Tiller has changed.
He began to look more like a true barbarian.
In the face of me, it is full of plunder and occupation.
I deliberately ignored him, which not only did not make him restrain, but also made him worse.
It’s like a child who is eager to get the attention of adults.
Not only that, when he returned from the war, he deliberately did not change his clothes, and his body was stained with the blood of himself and others: “Yu Yue, how much of your Li people’s blood do you think I have on my hands?”
He wants to provoke me and make me talk to him.
Because every time he used to come back from the war, he would put on clean clothes before he saw me.
I didn’t fall for his trick and still stared at the corner of the room.
Tiller hugged me and kissed me. To be honest, I’m used to it. He won’t do anything to me except kiss and hug me.
But what I can’t stand is that I’m afraid Tiller will really lock me up here for the rest of my life.
14
Till that day Tiller took me out, and he showed me some of the Lebanese who had been imprisoned and tortured, and he told me, “These men are all Lebanese spies, and tonight they will be executed in front of all the men in the army.”
“Do you know what we do to spies?”
He told me in a low voice, “The barbarian soldiers will pull out their tongues, blind their eyes, brand them with the marks of slaves, make them sleep with cattle and horses, and eat only pig food every day.”
I clenched my hand and turned my head away from listening to him.
“Why, do you feel cruel?” Tiller said in a cold voice, “Your people treat barbarian captives more cruelly than we do.”
Tiller took me back to his tent. “Tonight, you and I will go to watch their execution.”
I looked at him and wanted to ask him why he did this to me. Suddenly, I thought of our opposite identities and felt that the words of questioning could not be spoken.
Yes, he is a barbarian, I am Li, if I caught the barbarian spies, it must be to let them die.
This is a matter of position that can never be changed. On the way
back, I heard a few melodious and clear bird calls.
This is the secret signal for the Li people to contact.
Someone is looking for me.
I have to find a way to meet with the person who meets me.
Tiller sent me back to my room, where he locked my anklet and gave me the customary not-so-tender kiss before leaving.
After Tiller walked for a while, I heard the sound of birds in my throat. After a long time, I just felt thirsty in my throat and couldn’t cry any more.
At this time, I did not receive a response.
I thought the person who came to meet us didn’t hear our signal. After a while, I found a hole in the roof.
A man came down from above and said to me, “The Lord has sent me to look for you.”
But it took him a long time to untie the chain on my foot. The man frowned and said, “If we waste any more time, neither of us will be able to walk.”
He flashed his knife at me, and I stepped back, thinking he was trying to cut off my foot.
Then he swung the knife at the iron railing at the head of the bed, and with a few clatters, the iron railing was cut in half.
I immediately put away the chain, and the man went up to the roof first, and then took me up. Before I
left, I took one last look at the room, and I had an indescribable complex thought in my mind.
The bearer brought out two horses from the woods and handed me the bridle of one of them.
I was just about to get on the horse when I heard a cold voice.
“Yuyue.”
It’s Tiller.
I looked back and saw Tiller standing alone not far away, his eyes fixed on me like a wolf locked on its prey.
“You can’t run away.” Tiller approached me step by step, and the man drew his sword and pointed it at Tiller.
I grabbed the sword from the man and said to Tiller, “Don’t come any closer.”
Ignoring the sword in my hand, he approached me step by step, and finally stopped when he was only half a meter away from the tip of the sword.
“Don’t come over here. If you come over here, I’ll kill you.” I held my sword in both hands and looked at him. “Let us go, and I will save your life.”
Tiller laughed. “You should beg me for your lives. I have a group of soldiers on their way.”
In the distance came the whinnying of horses and the voices of barbarian soldiers.
Tiller grabbed my sword. The sharp blade made his hand gush blood in an instant. The dazzling red made me panic for a moment. Tiller caught me immediately. His blood stained my wrist.
“Don’t push me.” I said to Tiller, “I’m really going to kill you.”
“Then show me how you killed me.” Tiller gripped my wrist and the sword fell to the ground.
Then someone tried to help me, but I shouted at him, “Don’t come over!”
I can’t be locked up again. I must leave here and go back to Li. With my free hand,
I quickly pulled out the hairpin from my head and gritted my teeth into Tiller’s chest.
In this short moment, many pictures of being with Tiller flashed through my mind-his high spirits when we first met, his gentle care when feeding me, the fatigue on his face when he took care of me without taking off his clothes, the pain he hid under indifference later, his frustration when he was drunk.. These pictures so clearly reflect my reluctance and attachment, but.. He is a barbarian after all.
He’s a barbarian after all!
I stabbed my hairpin deeper, and I heard my cold voice in Tiller’s incredulous eyes: “I hate you, I hate all the barbarians, so every moment I’m with you, I’m thinking about how to kill you.”
“Everything between us is over, Arina. I just want you to die.”
Tiller let go of me. He just looked at me in silence and let me and my handler go.
He had my hairpin in his chest, and it was dripping with blood.
I suppressed the pain in my heart and left without looking back. When I
got to a safe place, I looked at my hand, which was covered with blood and trembling slightly.
“You should have killed him.” General Li, who is also my master, looked at me and said lightly, “Yu Yue, you have violated the ban.”
I knelt on the ground and waited for the punishment of the car shelter.
Finally, he just sighed and raised my face: “Yu Yue, don’t forget, he is a barbarian. They killed your parents and thousands of people in Li. It’s not wrong for you to kill the enemy. It’s wrong for you not to be cruel enough.”
I lowered my eyes and did not look at him, and I could not refute the words of the car pavilion.
My father was a general guarding the border town. He was killed when the barbarians looted the border town. My mother was pregnant and put me in a dry well, which saved me, but my mother died tragically at home.
I will never forget that the bright red blood flowed from my mother’s body and from the people’s bodies in the border town.
It was a rainy day, and the rain fell from the sky, carrying people’s blood into a slender river of blood, which dyed the whole border town red.
Such a strong smell of blood, even today, more than ten years later, I can still clearly recall the smell at that time.
It’s the smell of blood, the smell of war.
Later, I was rescued by reinforcements and followed them all the way to the capital, but I was young and had no ability, so I could only follow a group of beggars to beg for food in the city. After being beaten for
begging for food, I was chosen by the car booth.
He was the legitimate son of Shangshu, talented and able to govern the country, and most importantly, he also hated the barbarians. After
knowing what had happened to me, Ziche Ting began to cultivate me secretly. He gave me a new identity and asked people to teach me how to assassinate, how to teach me the language of barbarians, and how to become a good worker.
Finally, set up the next game, let me be kidnapped by the barbarians as a singer, and complete my mission in the barbarians.
The kite that flew away and the handkerchief that I discarded because of coughing up blood all had messages on it that I wanted to convey to Li.
I’ve never really been sick, and the so-called symptoms and hematemesis are just what I pretend to be when I take medicine.
It’s just that I didn’t finish the final mission. I didn’t kill Tiller.
That was my mistake. I
found someone to remove the chain from my foot, and after asking me to tell me something about the barbarians, he asked me to get the punishment.
After all, I made a mistake that I shouldn’t have made. I had feelings for the enemy.
Ziche Pavilion sent me a book, which recorded the dozens of invasions and harassments of the barbarians to Li in the past few years. They plundered the grain and countless possessions of the people, they killed a total of 120,000 people and soldiers, they robbed the women of Li, they killed babies in swaddling clothes, and they stained the moat of the border town with the blood of the people of Li.
No hundreds of surnames, because the barbarian invaders lost their homes, and there was no one to collect the bodies after they died.
I had known for a long time of their evil deeds, and had vowed that one day they would pay for them with blood, but in those days with Tiller in the barbarian country, wrapped in his tenderness, I gradually forgot this hatred. It makes me shudder to study again
now.
So I often had nightmares at night, sometimes dreaming of dead parents, dreaming of blood-stained cities, dreaming of my father accusing me of falling in love with a barbarian and asking me if I was going to betray Li.
Sometimes I dream of Tiller, who first feeds me carefully, then looks at me coldly and asks me why I betrayed him.
My life, from the beginning of the destruction of the family, is doomed to drift between loyalty and betrayal.
I can’t sleep every day, and I feel like I’m in an abyss but I can’t get rid of it. The war between
Li and the barbarians became more and more serious.
Although Li has been recuperating in recent years and has a lot of troops, it is still at a disadvantage compared with the bloodthirsty and warlike barbarians.
Watching the war to the extreme, the border town almost can not hold, the car pavilion let people send me to the border town.
He was wearing a suit of armor, and his handsome face had a few more scars: “Yuyue, if you want to exchange your death for the victory of Li today, are you willing to do so?” Without hesitation,
I knelt down and said, “Yes.” I am willing to die
for Li.
“Good.” The car booth helped me up. His eyes were a little complicated. Then he solemnly gave me a big gift. “Thank you very much.”
He never talked to me like that.
I accepted him frankly and asked him, “What should I do?”
The car booth asked me to go to the battlefield to assassinate Tiller. With the death of Tiller, the chief general of
the barbarians, the morale of the barbarians would surely suffer a great blow, and the Li army would be able to follow up the victory, perhaps with the possibility of victory.
I was silent for a while, and then I said, “Ah Ri is very powerful. I’m not sure I can succeed.”
“You can, if you want to.” Zi Che Ting had an extraordinary trust in me in this matter. Yu Yue, you don’t know how much love affects a person. It can make or break a hero.
“Arina is in love with you. He won’t be willing to hurt you, so you’ll have a chance to get close to him.”
I have no room to refuse.
If I don’t kill Tiller, I’m sorry for my parents who died tragically, and I’m sorry for my Li blood. By
killing Tiller, I’d be betraying his feelings. The death of
my parents, the hatred of the barbarians, let me only make that choice, that is the only choice.
I wore the clothes of a soldier and went to the battlefield with them.
As a person who has been trained since childhood, my martial arts are not weak. I fought all the way
on the battlefield, and the blood of the barbarians was on me, which reminded me of my father who died tragically and other soldiers in the border town. Before they
die, they are also guarding the country with their flesh and blood, even though they know that they may die on the battlefield, they still fight for the country and the people without hesitation.
Now, I’m just like them.
I finally came to Tiller. During
this period, he lost weight, and his face was expressionless, like a handsome Shura climbing out of hell, and like an awe-inspiring Wolf King guarding his territory. In the
light of the sword, I met Tiller’s eyes.
His eyes widened slightly, a flash of anger on his face, and he pulled me away from a barbarian soldier.
“Yuyue!” He said bitterly, “You’ve come to kill me again, haven’t you?” Without speaking,
I drew my sword and aimed it at him.
He only knows that I can play the piano, chess, calligraphy and painting, but he doesn’t know that my swordsmanship is also first-class.
I have dreamed of killing barbarians since I was a child, simulating all kinds of scenes in my mind day by day, but I didn’t expect that one day I would point a sword at the person I like. Between
the swords, I used what I had learned all my life to kill Tiller. The
sword pierced his armor, and when it was drawn out again, it was already stained with blood.
Tiller’s moves seemed fierce, but they didn’t really hurt me.
As Ziche Ting said, he was still reluctant to attack me.
“Arina, I can only hate and use you.” I heard myself say to him, “Don’t give in to me, because my mission is to kill you.”
Tille’s eyes were red. He gritted his teeth and brandished his sword, leaving a deep scar on my arm. Blood gushed out in an instant. He seemed to be stunned for a moment. Then he said coldly, “Yuyue, I said that if you dare to betray me, I will kill you myself.”
He finally exerted all his strength, and I gradually could not resist, and there were more and more scars on my body.
The pain came from all over my body, and I bit through another Tiller attack.
At that moment, I saw several Li archers aiming at Tiller’s back not far away. When the arrow came out of the string, I also put my sword into Tiller’s abdomen, but then I turned him half a circle, and the arrow that should have hit Tiller hit me.
At the same time, a cold sword pierced my body.
I looked up at Tiller and he stared back at me. The wounds
all over my body made me lose all my strength. I fell to the ground and the sword slipped from my hand.
Tiller knelt down and hugged me. He ignored the wound on his body and watched helplessly as blood gushed from my body. Just then
, the reinforcements of Li arrived.
Several barbarians shouted for Tiller to leave quickly. As he shouted for the soldiers to leave quickly, he put me on horseback and left. His horse was riding so fast that I didn’t feel any bump.
I know I’m dying.
This recognition did not make me feel sad, in fact, I even had a sense of relief.
For the sake of Li Guo, I chose to kill Tiller and finally died at his hands. I don’t regret it.
Finally, Tiller stopped, and we were far away from the crowd, far away from the battlefield, and in a quiet place in the middle of nowhere.
“Sanka, don’t worry.” Tiller hugged me gently, his blood mingling with mine, and the boy said warily, “I will let the witch doctor cure you.”
I shook my head with difficulty and motioned for him to put me down.
Tiller dismounted with me.
His eyes, which had always been bright and as open as the prairie sky, were filled with tears, and his throat gave out a sob like a pitiful little animal: “I’m sorry, Sanka. I didn’t want to kill you. What I said was angry.”
“I just don’t want you to leave me. I don’t want you to betray me.”
“Sanka, I’m afraid.”
His head was buried in my neck, and tears fell on my neck, a little itchy.
I wanted to reach out and touch him, but I found that I had no strength.
My body began to chill, and I saw a circle of black circles in front of me, and I vaguely remembered the first time I met Tiller.
The young general who shines like the sun, the young general who makes my heart sting.
I used him and hurt him again and again, and I didn’t deserve his hot and clean love. It
occurred to me that I had never said I loved him.
We shouldn’t talk about love.
But Tiller used to say that he liked me, and when he said that, he was so enthusiastic that I looked at him and felt that he was loved by the whole world.
My eyes reflect the light eyes, what beautiful eyes.
I wanted to reach out and touch those beautiful eyes, but I couldn’t lift my hand.
“I like you, Tiller..”
The words hidden in my heart for a long time were finally spoken by me at the last moment of my life.
Unfortunately, it’s too late. The war between
Li and the barbarians lasted for nearly five years, and finally both sides could not stand the years of war and chose peace talks.
On the night of peace talks between the barbarians and Li, the handsome and indifferent barbarian general rode to the place where the woman he loved left forever.
He got off his horse and lay on the endless grassland, looking up at the moon in the sky.
Through the dim moonlight, he saw the quiet and gentle maiden smiling gently at him in front of him.
Tiller seemed to have turned into the handsome and lively teenager he had been when they first met. He held out his hand to Yuyue and said, “Sanka, I can finally come to you.”
(End of full text)
Author’s name: Salted fish is not lazy
Record No.: YX01VmYJ9oaMgq9rR
Published on 2022-05-26 18:59. Forbidden to Reprint
Another Year of Spring Benefits
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