After the
divorce, the emperor’s son-in-law regretted that
everyone had said that I, Princess Qingyang, was unruly and willful, and that I wanted to marry General Ji Lang. In fact, he was happier than me on the wedding night. It’s just that he’s been ashamed to admit it. The
first knock is about the young General Ji Lang’s fame; the second knock is about General Ji Lang’s triumphant return with the green eyes of Princess Qingyang Chang; the third knock is about Princess Qingyang Chang’s obstinacy and willfulness, insisting on marrying General Ji Lang.. The
more Qiuer listened, the greener her face became. Her eyes looked at me secretly, and her voice began to tremble: “Chang, Princess Chang, those obstinate people are all talking nonsense. You..” With a wave of my hand,
I rubbed off the red skin of the peanut in my hand and threw it into a sea bowl. “When will Ji Lang come?”
My reputation for being arrogant and domineering has been spread all over the world for a long time, and I don’t care what those people say at all. The only thing that can touch my heartstrings is the word “Chi Lang.”.
Chiu-erh looked at the sundial. “General Chi should be in the morning.” This is the first time that Ji Lang has invited me to listen to the opera since we
got married half a year ago. So, even if he passed the appointed time, I will wait.
I lowered my head and continued to peel peanuts until the sea bowl was full of peanuts, and the person I was waiting for pushed open the door curtain.
Young weak crown and two, eyebrows and eyes congealed with a chill. When he looked at me, he twisted his eyebrows slightly, and the impatience in his eyes flashed by. If I hadn’t been staring at
him all the time, I probably wouldn’t have noticed the hidden emotion.
Lowering my eyelids, I pushed the sea bowl over.
Ji Lang used to be picky and always had to remove the red skin when eating peanuts. I waited for him for half an hour, peeled a big bowl, and waited for this moment to hand it to him with joy, and then said, “Husband, taste it.” It took me a long time to dress up
today. I ordered peach blossoms, used natural indigo, and wiped my crimson lips. His voice softened a lot, and when he looked at him, he imitated what Mammy had taught him, his eyes shining, and he wanted to say something.
Chi Lang sneered and didn’t even look at me. “I’ve kept Princess Chang waiting.”
“Not long.” I looked at his tall and straight back, and the radian of the corners of his mouth was almost uncontrollable-fresh clothes, angry horses, elegant young men, such an excellent man, is my husband.
“Invite the eldest princess to come and listen to a play today.” He sat on a carved wooden chair with a faint look.
The storyteller left the stage and changed into a painted actor to sing. I knew what Ji Lang wanted me to hear when I opened my mouth. What they played was that the princess of Kunyang in the former Dynasty had nothing to do, and finally the emperor’s son-in-law married a flat wife.
Without Qiuer reminding me, I also know how pale my face is at the moment. Sitting next to me is a young man who likes me. He never likes me. I know that. But I never thought that he would humiliate me like this.
Nothing comes out. Is it not because he has never set foot in my yard?
I lowered my head and swallowed the breath. I don’t want to quarrel with him, at least not in this bustling restaurant, otherwise it will spread out, and the emperor’s brother will find him in trouble again. At the end of the
song, Chi Lang looked down at me and said coldly, “What do you think of Princess Chang?”
Very nice. My husband’s invitation made me very happy. I raised my face and pretended not to understand it.
Probably did not expect me to pretend to be stupid, Ji Lang was stunned for a moment, always indifferent eyebrows and eyes rarely added a trace of dull.
After a while, he snorted coldly and went straight away.
I sat there in silence and looked down at the bowl of peanuts I had carefully peeled-he hadn’t touched a single one. I didn’t even look at it.
“Go back.” I stretched out my hand to support the Eight Immortals table, and then I could stabilize my figure.
I didn’t realize that it wasn’t over. Besides Ji Lang, the Ji family also has Mrs. Ji. Almost as soon as I came back, she asked me to go to the ancestral hall of the Ji family.
In front of the memorial tablets of the ancestors of the Ji family, she did not call me to kneel down, nor did she let me sit. I stood there after the ceremony, and then listened to her muttering, saying that Ji Lang lost his father and brother when he was young, entered the military camp alone at the age of fourteen, and became famous in World War I at the age of twenty.
She said that it was not easy for Ji Lang at the beginning. I know all this clearly. I learned about
Ji Lang’s years in the frontier through letters. The young man in the letter was full of valor and pride, detailing the blood of the desert, and even the sound of the blade piercing the flesh. At the end of the
letter, probably feeling that such a thing would frighten the girls in the boudoir, he added, “Don’t be afraid, I’m highly skilled in martial arts, and I’ll protect you.”
People often say that words are like faces. I recited the words silently, and I could imagine how gentle the high-spirited young man was when he took off his silver armor and raised his pen under the candlelight.
If only those letters were addressed to me.
Unfortunately, it’s not. When
Ji Lang lived a life of licking blood at the edge of a knife, every letter sent to the imperial capital, those unambiguous love, did not belong to me, the princess of Qingyang. As soon as
I thought about it, I felt so distressed that I almost suffocated. My chest was stuffy and painful. It hurts
so much that I don’t look well. The more Mrs. Ji spoke, the more energetic she became, but I could only vaguely hear three words-nothing.
In an instant, my reaction came, and I pinched my fingernails into the palm of my hand before I could restrain my tone: “Is this the meaning of my mother or the meaning of my husband?”
Taking advantage of this matter, he wanted Ji Lang to marry Ping’s wife. Whose idea was this. Is it the Ji family or Ji Lang himself?
My heart was sad, but I also knew clearly that even if it was not Ji Lang’s own idea, he took me to the teahouse to listen to the play, which was enough to prove his attitude.
He never cared about me.
He was the most wanton teenager in the world, thinking that I had tied him up all his life, so he would hurt me so unscrupulously, and wanted to get justice for his lost freedom and love. After
a moment of silence, I got the answer. Mrs.
Chi’s voice and expression were both stern: “Wu Chu has violated the regulations of Qi Chu Li.”. Lang Er did not divorce you, which is already your blessing. Now it’s just a matter of getting an equal wife. Are you still trying to stop it?
I stared at her gully face for a long time and laughed. The more I laughed, the louder my voice became. I could hardly help laughing and crying in the back. During the six months of
marriage, I was in the Ji family, so some people really thought I was easy to bully. For example, Mrs. Ji at the moment.
That’s not okay. I love Ji Lang, so he can bully me. But other people can’t help but take me seriously.
“Has Mrs. Chi forgotten who I am?” I raised my eyebrows and glanced at the memorial tablets, and my voice was even colder. “This palace is the eldest princess of the Great Jin Dynasty, with the title of Qingyang.”. The present son of heaven is my brother. Do you think I can’t stop it? Old Mrs.
Chi’s face was livid, and she was so angry that she knocked on the ground with her stick. She raised her eyebrows and said, “Well, well, since Princess Chang feels that our Chi family has wronged you, I’ll let Chi Lang divorce you!”
I have been trying to please her a lot in the past six months, but after disobeying her this time, she simply broke her face with me. The hearts of the
Ji family are all made of stone.
“If Old Lady Chi can do it, just go.” I didn’t want to say much to her, but I just froze. “Ji Lang has been back to the emperor for only half a year, and the people in the court who fawned on him still have five points of affection for me, Princess Qingyang.”. Weigh it carefully!
“Who do you want to weigh up?” Ji Lang’s voice was urgent and angry, accompanied by the violent sound of pushing the door, which made Mrs. Ji shiver. As if seeing a savior, Mrs.
Chi hurriedly began to tell me: “Lang, listen, this is the lady you married!”
To the cold eyes of Ji Lang, I have no reason to think of a letter he sent that year.
In his letter, he said that the night in the desert was very cold, and the moon, like a machete, almost went straight into people’s hearts.
Now, I saw the machete in Ji Lang’s eyes. Well, it’s really cold.
However, when he said it was cold, I pricked my hand and sewed a winter coat for him. Now I feel cold, but I can’t get back his relieved eyes.
If I hadn’t been tempted, I wouldn’t be in such a mess now.
“Does Princess Chang feel that I, Chi Lang, have borrowed your power?” Ji Lang’s face was terribly gloomy.
I felt that even if I denied and explained, he would not believe a word of me. But I’m determined to give it a try.
Ji Lang, listen to me. Mother wants you to marry again, but I don’t.. Before
I had finished speaking, I heard Ji Lang’s indifferent voice: “I know.”
The last half of my sentence stuck in my throat, and I couldn’t spit out another word.
Mother and I have discussed it. Your position is noble, and the Ji family is too small to accommodate your big Buddha. If you don’t want to, then divorce. After half a year of
marriage, no matter how impatient he was with me, he would never say the word “divorce”. As if struck by lightning,
I froze there for a moment. After a moment of silence
, I shook my head. “Ji Lang, you can’t divorce me.”
I don’t want to.
Ji Lang looked at me with a cold face and said, “In the final analysis, it’s just a tiger charm that misses me.”. All right, I’ll take off the general’s position. Before
I could open my mouth, Mrs. Chi realized something was wrong: Confused! How did you leave the position of general when you said you would?
The Ji family endured for so long that it was not easy to point to Ji Lang and return to the seat of the family. I know. The old lady is reluctant.
Ji Lang’s dark eyes were as deep as a deep pool. He looked at me as if he were waiting for a word.
“No..” I
just spit out a word, and I don’t know what to say. Don’t step down? Don’t hate me? Or, don’t divorce?
Probably thinking that the tears in my eyes were ridiculous, Ji Lang pursed his lips and did not say any more for the first time. He just lowered his eyes, shook his sleeves, and left.
He walked smartly, leaving Mrs. Ji and I looking at each other. She snorted coldly and turned to go.
“Old Lady Ji.” My face cooled. “I don’t want to say anything else.”. Ask about the five words of Princess Qingyang. Think about it again.
When General Ji Lang did not return to Kyoto, everyone knew the name of Princess Qingyang. Apart from the origin of the imperial relatives, there are two other things that make me famous.
The first is to abandon the original son-in-law Zhang Zidong, and the second is to marry Ji Lang.
These two things are enough to become the laughing stock of the public, and I don’t know how many romantic stories have been made up.
Everyone is pitying General Ji Lang for being forced to marry a princess who does not abide by women’s morality. On the day
I married Chi Lang, Chang Tzu-tung and Lin Yao secretly sent someone a letter with only the word “sorry.”. I burned the letter clean by the flickering candle. I don’t deserve
this apology. Ten thousand steps
back, this road is my own choice. No matter how outsiders speculate, I know very well in my heart that I am happy to marry Ji Lang.
Besides, Zhang Zidong and I have no feelings at all. It’s better for me to be the villain than to tie him to me and destroy three people. It’s just that I didn’t dare to tell Ji Lang a word about my plan with them.
The young man, who was carrying a pike and fighting in the frontier, sent letters soaked with true feelings to Kyoto one by one. It’s all given to Lin Yao.
It’s a pity that King Xiang is interested and the goddess is heartless.
Ji Lang has hated me since he was a child. If he knew that the letters he hid like a treasure were actually written by me, that the winter clothes he put on the high shelf were actually sewn by me, and that Lin Yao, who he wanted to marry with joy, was secretly designed by me to let her fake her death and Zhang Zidong fly together.
I can’t imagine Ji Lang’s reaction. The revenge of
killing the father and digging the grave is not so excessive.
I sighed and turned back to my yard. I’ve never dared to say this to him all these years. I’m afraid he really hates me, and I’m afraid he will hate me.
Princess Qingyang also knew the word fear one day, and every time she thought of it in the middle of the night, she curled up alone and suffered from the lonely night.
Probably too bitter, I fell into a deep sleep in loneliness, and even dreamed of the past. The
first time I saw Ji Lang was at a flower feast in the palace. I was only fifteen years old at that time. I saw Ji Lang by the corridor. The boy of
sixteen was sitting on a low rockery, with one leg bent and the other swinging casually, looking up at the glass lamp hanging on the eaves. It’s dark
all around. The bright yellow candle of the glass lamp reflected the warm color through the cover of the peony gold pattern, all of which fell on his jade carved cheeks. Probably hearing the noise, the young man glanced down from a commanding position, and his phoenix eyes shone brightly: “What are you looking at me for?”
The voice is clear and cold, with three points of pride.
The night wind is wrapped in the faint fragrance of flowers, blowing the wide sleeves of young people. The hem of the white moon’s beautiful dress moved slightly along the wind.
I remember very clearly that at that moment, my heart also moved. When I finally
swallowed, I said, “If you don’t look at me, how do you know I’m looking at you?” They
are all arrogant people, and there is no reason for them to suffer losses. So 16-year-old Ji Lang and I were like this, one sitting on the rockery, the other standing under the rockery, fighting with each other. It
is ridiculous to say that a person like me, who can’t recite poems, still remembers the childish quarrel clearly and has not forgotten a word.
Also always remember Ji Lang last cold hum that sentence-half a girl’s appearance is not, if who married you, is bound to quarrel every day, the house is restless.
He was wrong. After
marrying me for half a year, he hardly talked to me. Where did he quarrel with me every day?
But after this inexplicable quarrel, I had a quarrel with him. After the monthly Douwen meeting, he also attended every time after a military general, just to pick my thorns.
What a stingy man.
I thought he was trying to get my attention in another way. Until I found out how considerate he was to another woman.
Lin Yao is my companion. She doesn’t have the best family background among the ladies in the family, but that doesn’t prevent me from befriending her. After all, she is really a gentle woman, I am such a rude person, in front of her do not want to speak loudly.
Therefore, Ji Lang’s eyes often stick to her body, and even several times in order to see her forget to quarrel with me, I can actually understand.
But the most terrible and common thing in the world is the word “impermanence.”.
But in two years, the old general Ji and the eldest son of the Ji family both died in battle. Overnight
, Ji Lang changed from the little overlord of Kyoto to the only seedling of the Ji family. What is more terrible is that the only seedling still wants to go to the battlefield.
At that time, the emperor’s younger brother had already ascended the throne, and I was also the eldest princess that everyone admired. When I heard the news and rushed to the front of the temple, I didn’t even catch my breath and ordered, “Don’t let Ji Lang go to the battlefield!”
My emperor brother looked at me with a smile and then asked, “Why?”
Because I don’t want to. I don’t want him to taste the hardships of the frontier fortress, and I don’t want him to take on the whole Ji family at the age of eighteen.
But these words, I can not say, after all, I am still a little girl, very thin-skinned.
So I squeezed out an insincere sentence: “I want him to accompany me in the palace to relieve my boredom!” That’s
not true. That’s not what I want to say!
I suddenly woke up from a dream. I was already sweating behind me. When the wind blew, my heart was cold.
I still remember clearly that after the words were spoken, Ji Lang came out from behind the screen. His face was livid and he seemed to have been greatly insulted.
He glanced coldly at me and said, “The eldest princess treats me as a little thing to relieve her boredom, but I prefer to fight in the frontier and wrap my body in horse leather.” My
first reaction was that I didn’t want him to say that bad word, and then I realized that he was angry.
He hesitated and forgot to explain. It wasn’t
until Chi Lang left in a huff that I came to my senses and said, “I didn’t mean to.”
The emperor’s younger brother sighed for some reason and said, “Elder sister, I have already agreed.”. Chi Chia’s army cannot be left without a leader.
Yes, the Ji family is full of heroes, with the blood of military commanders flowing in their bones. I can’t persuade Ji Lang. I will only make him angry.
I sat quietly on the bed, listening to the wind outside the window. After
Ji Lang left, I tried my best to get the information of the frontier, in an attempt to find a few words of my favorite teenager there.
These bitter days lasted for two months. While I was holding on to the meager information I had pieced together, Lin Yao came to me with a bewildered look on her face and said, “Princess Chang, what should I do?”
I looked at the dark envelope she took out, with beautiful block letters on it, and my eyes could not help turning red when I saw the signature-Ji Lang, the second son of the Ji family.
It’s a letter from Ji Lang to Lin Yao. He wrote a letter to Lin Yao when
I was trying to decide whether he was doing well or not like a fool. With a sigh,
Lin Yao asked me, “I can’t take back this thought. Princess Chang, please think of a way to help me break it.”
Holding the letter in my hand, I felt as if I were holding the burning heart of a teenager-so hot that my fingertips hurt, and even my heart hurt.
I clearly knew that Ji Lang’s gentle eyes did not belong to me, but he still pinched them tightly and did not let go. Every stroke in the
letter is extremely precious. He talked about his recent situation and his ambition. If it’s not too much trouble for you, may I have a letter sent every month. I don’t want to stop thinking about Kyoto. In the words of
deliberation, they are all cautious. I have never seen such a cautious Ji Lang. Come to think of it, people are so timid in front of people who are happy.
That night, I held the letter and stared at the beating red candle. I finally realized the heartache mentioned in the script.
However, I did not think about how to play tricks to get back Ji Lang, nor did I think about whether to push the boat to the death of Ji Lang’s heart. I’m just trying to figure out how to write back.
I don’t want Ji Lang to be sad, and I don’t want him to fall in love with someone quietly like me, but I can’t get a response.
So, when the sky suddenly broke, I polished the ink, lifted my left hand, and crookedly wrote a letter back to Ji Lang in the tone of Lin Yao. The letter only said that because he accidentally hurt his right hand, he temporarily replaced it with his left hand.
Thinking of this, I raised my left hand and rubbed the corners of my eyes by the moonlight.
I wrote to Ji Lang with my left hand for four years. Practiced a beautiful hairpin and small regular script.
People say, “Seeing words is like seeing faces.”. I watched him grow from a recruit who refused to obey anyone in the barracks to an unswerving general. He is the proud young man I watched grow up.
My engagement with Zhang Zidong was delayed by me again and again. In order to avoid the urging of Zhang Shoufu, an old man, I even began to pretend to be ill. And when Zhang Zidong went into the palace to see me, he ran into Lin Yao who had just come out of my palace. I’m
not so lucky. I don’t know what it’s like to be in love. When the two of
them knelt down in front of me to admit their affair, my first reaction was how sad Ji Lang would be if he knew.
Think of the teenager may be lost, eyes will be red. I feel a pain in my heart. I
don’t want him to hurt me, and I don’t want to be the one who beats the Mandarin duck with a stick. In the end, I’m the only one who hurts.
I shook my hand and began to think about what to eat for breakfast tomorrow in the white sky.
I didn’t expect that Ji Lang would come to have breakfast with me. His robe was dirty and his look was obscure. It seems that, like me, who has not slept all night, the spirit is very poor.
Ji Lang’s voice was a little hoarse, but it was as gentle as I had ever heard: “There’s a new Drunken Fragrance House in Kyoto, Princess Chang..” Would your ladyship like to taste it?
I was so surprised that the cake in my hand fell to the ground. He never called me madam. What’s going on today?
Surprised and suspicious, I ran into the coolness in his eyes.
But I couldn’t bear to expose this little bit of tender feeling, so I responded with a smile: “Good.”
I don’t know what he went through last night, and I don’t know why he suddenly made a soft gesture in front of me.
But as long as he says, I can say “yes”. The food
in Zuixianglou is really delicious, and the sweet osmanthus cake is really sweet, sweet to my heart.
Probably because I drank a little too much fermented glutinous rice, my head was a little dizzy, and even the Ji Lang in front of me became blurred.
The wine emboldened me. I half closed my eyes and pretended to lean on Ji Lang casually. I’m ready in my heart. If he does not support me, I will fall down on the chair.
Unexpectedly, I crashed into a warm embrace. Ji Lang hugged me, although his movements were stiff, but his body was very warm.
I seemed to wake up in his arms and looked at the white jade cup on the table with empty eyes.
That cup is really beautiful, and that flagon is also beautiful. Everything here makes me happy, because I am now lying in the arms of my favorite teenager.
Just as I was thinking about buying the house when I got back, Chi Lang suddenly whispered in my ear and asked, “How did Lin Yao die?”
His voice was deep, even with a kind of gnashing of teeth. All
my happy thoughts suddenly disappeared.
Pretending not to hear clearly, I closed my eyes heavily. Go to sleep quickly, and you will be fine after sleeping. Wake up anyway, at least this night can be treasured by me.
Ji Lang was completely unaware of my pitiful thoughts. After all, his purpose was to get me drunk. His words even included a test: a year ago, Lin Yao was seriously ill. You went to visit her several times. Half a month before I wanted to come back, she, she died. Did you do it? Did
you do it?
These six words are more terrible than all the questions and accusations I have ever heard. I thought that night with Lin Yao’s tone to reply to his letter, has tasted the bitterness of love, did not think there is more bitter than that.
Princess Qingyang should not live like this.
I guess he was already suspicious in his heart, and he held back his temper and entrusted me with the virtual snake for so long, just to find out the cause of death of Lin Yao, the concubine of the Lin family.
I know that I didn’t arrange the matter of Lin Yao’s fake death properly, but I can’t help it.
Ji Lang said in the letter that he would come back in another month, and even happily prepared to go to the Lin family to hire. I had no choice but to bring forward the date of Lin Yao’s death.
Zhang Zidong and Lin Yao thanked me with a smile when they left. I stared at her face for a long time. Women in the world are probably the most beautiful when they are loved. I envy from the bottom of my heart.
I, on the other hand, even a hug is fake. With
a sneer, I simply propped myself up and staggered to the opposite side of Ji Lang. With the help of seven points of alcohol, I spat out all the words I dared not say: “Ji Lang, do you like Lin Yao?”
Perhaps surprised that I was not drunk, he was stunned for a moment before he stiffly said, “Yes.”
I don’t know why I want to ask this, why I want to pull out the thorn in my heart and hand it to Ji Lang, so that he can have a chance to hurt me again.
I’m so stupid. Stupid. What
blurred my eyes was not only drunkenness, but also warm liquid. I thought for a moment, then shook my head at him. “Lin Yao is dead. I didn’t do it.”
I lied to him after all. Lin Yao and Zhang Zidong have been sleeping together. What if he does find someone? It’s just another sad person.
Ji Lang’s face sank. “Princess Qingyang, I hate people lying to me.”
I know, so I use my left hand to practice Lin Yao’s handwriting to write to you this matter, will rot in the stomach, death will not say out. After all,
I underestimated Ji Lang’s persistence. Three days later, the word spread all over the street about him and Lin Jing, the daughter of Lin’s parents, and it was said in a well-organized way. I, on the other hand, got a letter of divorce.
Really ridiculous, Lin Yao he can not marry, he married Lin Yao’s sister Lin Jing. Even if it was the next best thing, he didn’t think about me. It’s not that
I haven’t made trouble, but Ji Lang’s bodyguards trapped me in the other courtyard and couldn’t take half a step out. Now that
he is promising, even the eldest princess dares to be put under house arrest, which is really good. It is estimated that the
marriage has been settled, and there are red ribbons everywhere, which looks very grand. Staring at the red lantern, I was bored to think that there should be a new story in the street. For example, the long princess is out of favor, and for example, Ji Lang and Lin Jing are such a good couple. Can not
say what is the mood, I looked at the guards who drew their swords to stop me, squatting at the gate of the yard, laughing and crying.
My jealous reputation is too strong, and he is afraid after all. So when the marriage had not yet been decided, Lin Jing came to see me-she came to threaten me.
Lin Yao faked her death, and Lin Jing knew all about the letter. They are all women. How can they not know my obvious thoughts.
So Lin Jing told me with a smile that as long as I agreed with Ji Lang to marry her, she would not reveal a word to Ji Lang about these things.
According to my temperament, I should have jumped up and slapped her twice and sneered, “You’re dreaming,” to vent my anger. But I’m tired. I’m really, really tired. My limbs have been cold since I was tested by
Ji Lang. It’s probably because the beating love on the tip of the heart has cooled down.
I nodded. “Anything you want.”
Ji Lang is not mine, and the position of Mrs. Ji does not belong to me.
I just want him to like me. It is a common thing in the world to be able to ask but not to be able to do so. I have to get over it.
The emperor’s brother advised me for so long, in the past six months I smashed the south wall, and finally began to know the pain. Not half an hour after
Lin Jing left my yard, Ji Lang also came.
I have been looking forward to him coming into my yard, so that I can pull him to introduce these flowers and plants that have consumed my painstaking efforts, tell him where I read, which brush I use the most smoothly..
But times have changed, and now that I see him, I just want to tell him, “Don’t worry, Chi Lang, I won’t stop you from getting married.”
The boy’s indifferent face suddenly shook, and a sullen look appeared under his eyes: “What tricks are you playing?” Ignoring his strange tone,
I nodded and said, “Well, give me the book of harmony.” In fact, I have thought about
these two sentences for a long time and played them many times in my mind. After all, I like one, and I still want to have a good ending with Ji Lang.
I didn’t expect Ji Lang to suddenly burst out. He reached out and overturned the table. My pen, ink, paper and inkstone were scattered all over the floor.
He seemed to be in a hurry, and the words he uttered were cruel and quick: “He Li Shu will be given naturally.”. But first I want to make sure that the eldest princess has not done the pickling. In
a flash of lightning, I suddenly understood that Ji Lang didn’t believe me at all. He decided that I had something to do with Lin Yao’s death. There is no
sorrow greater than death of the heart. I really tasted the meaning of this sentence and laughed softly. I think of the smiles on the faces of Lin Yao and Zhang Zidong when they left.
I also want to be able to hold the hand of my beloved like that, no matter where I go, I am always happy. Will
not be like me now, just because of the heart of a person, the reputation of the community is also bad, that little happiness and pride is gone. I have been
married to Ji Lang for half a year, and I have suffered too much. I left Ji Fu
that day.
I am a long princess with noble status, and there are many dark guards around me. My identity is here, if you really want to go, how can Ji Lang’s bodyguards stop me?
It was I who showed my weakness to Ji Lang. I deserve the
pain. When I met the
emperor, I clearly saw the panic in the eyes of the little emperor. He hemmed and hawed: “Sister Huang, General Ji used his military exploits to ask for marriage. I had no choice but to agree.”
I said I know.
From the beginning to the end, I knew that Ji Lang’s heart was not on me.
In the past, I wanted to force it, but now I can’t get it and give up.
I knelt on the ground and did not get up. I said respectfully, “I have come to ask for two things.”
The first one is He Li Shu. This is the end of my enmity with Ji Lang. The second is the imperial edict to guard the mausoleum.
Princess Qingyang knew that she had a bad conduct and a bad temper. After leaving with General Ji, please go to guard the imperial mausoleum and never set foot in the imperial city again.
I want nothing more than to leave this sad place with dignity. The
two imperial edicts went down to the general’s office at the same time. I got into the carriage and left at the same time. It was a sunny day when
I left. The flowers on the branches fell to the ground with the wind and covered the way I went.
(Ji Lang Chapter)
I have always had a bad relationship with Princess Qingyang.
I have never seen her such a willful woman, like the world’s most flamboyant red, never regardless of how others, their own gorgeous and hot in full bloom.
In contrast, Lin Yao is more in line with my expectations for my future wife. At that time,
I was practicing martial arts, and I had too many things in my mind, so I didn’t think carefully about what I was thinking.
Until that day, the Ji family declined, and I was red-eyed and begged the emperor to let me go to the battlefield. Through the screen, I heard the voice of Qingyang. She said angrily that I was not allowed to go, the reason was that I should accompany her in the palace to relieve boredom.
To relieve boredom, what does she take me for? A plaything?
I am proud by nature. How can I stand such humiliation.
At that moment, I didn’t know why I was so angry. Is it because of this sentence, or because she is the one who said it.
Anyway, I gritted my teeth and went to the battlefield. The moon on the
frontier is really cold. The dust and sand raised by the horses are also cold. I wore black armor, and at first I couldn’t sleep all night. As soon as I close my eyes, there are bloody battlefields and swords with cold light.
So I wrote a letter to the imperial city.
In fact, I wrote this perfunctory letter twice.
For the first time, the envelope was written by Princess Qingyang Chang. But when I came to my senses, I remembered her words in the hall that day, and I tore up the envelope and replaced it with Lin Yao’s name.
If I had followed my heart at that time, I would have given the letter to Qingyang. Now I would not be sitting alone in the cold night, unable to sleep with loneliness and regret every night.
Young pride too much, always want to test, want to let each other bow first. Young spirit, backbone is hard, stubborn and unwilling to bend down. The more I chatted
with Lin Yao in the letters, the more happy I was, and the letters containing concern beat my lonely heart.
Those letters are so good. I fell in love with the person who wrote the letter.
So he thought he was in love with Lin Yao. On the
battlefield of life and death, I thought that my concern for the letter was love. I made a promise to myself, I love Lin Yao, I want to marry her.
It turned out that I was wrong from the beginning.
My mistake was to be too proud, to wake up too late. When I received two imperial edicts from the emperor
that day, I broke into her room.
Strangely, she didn’t take anything with her, but I felt empty everywhere.
I even chased her to the palace to see her.
But the emperor stopped me and asked me, “What can I do if I see it?” What
can I do?
These three words baffled me. After a long pause, I gritted my teeth and said in a businesslike manner, “I want to find Princess Qingyang and ask about Lin Yao.”
I must be crazy. When I said this sentence, I knew clearly that it was false and that it was not my true words.
But I was so panicked, like I knew something was gone. I tried to stretch out my hand, but I couldn’t keep it. I had a fight with the little emperor
that day.
He’s not as good as me, but I still got two punches from him.
Because he gnashed his teeth and told me that Qingyang’s wish was never to see me again in his life. When
I went back out of my mind and saw the room full of red, I suddenly remembered that when I married Qingyang that year, it was the same red.
She was dressed in a red wedding dress, and in the flickering candlelight, she was so beautiful that she shocked the soul. His eyes were as bright as stars falling into a pool of water. I was full of resentment
that night, but I also slowed down my breathing in such a pair of smiling eyes.
I shook my head and told myself not to think too much. Tell yourself that Qingyang’s willful and unruly temper is just what I want.
But I didn’t want to marry Lin Jing. I just used her to find Lin Yao. During this period of time, I searched in every way to make sure that Lin Yao was still alive. When
I came back, it was widely spread that Princess Qingyang had secretly killed her son-in-law and Lin Yao, the eldest daughter of the Lin family. Instinctively,
I didn’t believe it, but the rumor that “three people make a tiger” was getting louder and louder, and I really wavered, suspecting that Qingyang would hurt Lin Yao. On the third day
after Qingyang left me, I found the clues of Lin Jing’s contact with Lin Yao, cancelled the absurd marriage, and found Lin Yao who had “died of illness.”.
And found the truth. When she
broke off the marriage, Lin Ching-tung’s eyes were red, like a curse, like a prophecy. She said, “Chi Lang, in this life you will surely lose what you love and die alone.”
It’s a prophecy.
I looked at Lin Yao leaning against Zhang Zidong. She twisted her eyebrows slightly, and her face was magnanimous and heartless. She told me that she did not reply to my letters from the beginning, and all of them were handed over to Qingyang.
She described to me how Qingyang answered my letters with his left hand. The way he weighed his words carefully was more serious than when he answered Taifu’s questions. As
I listened, my fingers clasped into the palm of my hand, my throat was fishy and sweet, and I spat out a mouthful of blood.
I thought I was looking for my sweetheart, but it turned out that my sweetheart was the person in front of me.
I deliberately ignored Qingyang for a long time. The moment I
learned the truth, I seemed to think a lot, but I didn’t seem to think anything. My mind is full of her beautiful eyes on the wedding day with Qingyang. I finally had an answer to that empty pain in my heart
since she left.
I didn’t expect to see Ji Lang again. Hear his voice
, to be precise.
He stood stubbornly at the entrance of the imperial mausoleum, and the sound of fighting was mixed with his voice calling my name. His voice was hoarse and it sounded dry and painful.
I don’t know why he came to me, but I know he’s good at what he does.
The guards are so innocent. I sighed with some helplessness and pushed the door out.
“General Ji.” I looked at him lightly. He noticed his messy clothes and the shallow knife wounds on his body.
It was a mess I had never seen before.
He stood there with a strange expression. It’s like a thousand words stuck in my throat. He only uttered one word and his eyes were red: “Qingyang, I, I found Lin Yao.”
It seems that he knows everything.
I instantly understood the origin of the sadness of Ji Lang’s eyes. I thought he was so depressed because he knew that his sweetheart was in love with someone else. Unexpectedly, as soon as he opened his mouth, he said something else.
His voice was hoarse, and his eyes looked sadly at me. He held out his hand to me and said, “Why didn’t you tell me about the letter?”
Strangely enough, I used to be distressed when I learned in the letter that he had suffered a little skin injury, but now when I look at his extremely sad appearance, my heart has not had a trace of waves. I lowered my eyes honestly and said, “I was the first to deceive about the letter.”. I apologize to General Ji. What
I said is sincere.
I did not expect that as soon as I said this, Ji Lang seemed to have been pulled out of the last bone, he clearly stood upright in place, but as if something had completely collapsed.
His eyes were red, and his voice was broken in the wind. “No, it’s not your fault.” I made a mistake. Ziju, will you come home with me?
My maiden name is Ziju. It comes from the meaning of “Guan Guan Ju Jiu.”.
Ji Lang’s voice made me suddenly in a trance.
At that time in the Academy, Taifu’s biggest headache was me and Ji Lang. I am famous for being generous. Ji Lang is very intelligent, but whenever he meets me, he will lose all his reason. The two of us almost bicker as soon as we meet, which makes the whole Academy very noisy.
But every time Taifu punished me, Ji Lang would jump out and carry all the boards for me.
At that time, the palms of his hands were all red. In the days when he was recovering from his injuries, I finished the task of copying books for him.
Ji Lang brazenly held up his injured hand and watched me copy the book for him while happily ordering me to do something: “I’m thirsty..” Tzu Kui, I’m hungry..
Now that I think about it, he and I are not without good days to savor.
At least, before he went into battle, before I said the words that belittled him because of shyness, Ji Lang and I were also childhood sweethearts that everyone envied. The companionship of
youth, the separation later, the suspicion and indifference at last.
My voice was sour: “Chi Lang, how did we get to be like this?”
I didn’t read it wrong. Ji Lang cried.
In that year, when almost all the male members of the Ji family died in battle, his eyes were red and he bit his lips without shedding a tear.
Now, he stood quietly at the gate of the imperial mausoleum and looked at me. His face was pale and dispirited. “Ziju, I was wrong.”. Will you forgive me? I am the one whose heart is pleasing to you.
I stared round.
“Ji Lang, what are you talking about?”
I just think what he said is ridiculous. The night we
got married, I was filled with joy, waiting for you to leave. The night is really too cold. Do you know that I’ve been sitting all night with the veil on my head, watching the red candle burn out? On the day you went to the
palace to visit relatives, you found traces of Lin Yao and left me on the way. I go back to the palace alone, and I have to squeeze out a smiling face to make excuses for you. You know, there are 3621 bluestone slabs on the main road of Imperial Garden. I counted them piece by piece when I was wandering by myself. You’ve been married for
so long, and you’ve never looked me in the eye. It’s not that you don’t know that I’m being harassed in Jifu. You just don’t care. You know, if I hadn’t really thought of myself as the wife of the Ji family, I wouldn’t have been so angry about the backyard.
Ji Lang, do you know how long I’ve been waiting for you to say that? Wait until I think this life is hopeless, wait until I cool this piece of heart. If this is the pleasure of your mouth, I am afraid I will not enjoy it.
Strangely, every time I say a word, Ji Lang’s back seems to be one point shorter. In the back, he had completely collapsed. With tears in his eyes and a pale face,
he stretched out his hand shakily to hold me, but as if he was afraid that I would disappear, he held it in the air and said, “I was wrong, Ziju, I was really wrong.”. Will you forgive me for once? Will you give me a chance? Ziju, don’t leave me..
“Not good.” With an expressionless face, I stepped back. “Ji Lang, I don’t like you anymore.”. Even if we go down to the grave after a hundred years, we won’t see each other again. At the last moment when the
door was closed, I heard Ji Lang’s roar: “Tzu!”
I didn’t pay any more attention. When I was young, I shouted at Ji Lang, whose ears were red, “Guan Guan Ju Jiu, on the island of the river, my fair lady, a gentleman loves to marry, I can’t get what I want, and I want to be convinced.”
Perhaps from then on, the end has been doomed.
It’s just, I admit it.
Desirable. Forget it.
(Ji Lang)
I thought everything was still in time. Just wait for me to return. It was the worst ride I’ve ever had in my life. The palms of my hands were worn red by the reins, and my hair was a little loose.
But this time, I didn’t win. No matter how fast the
horse runs, it can’t catch up with the sincerity that Qingyang has consumed these years. When she called me General Ji
in the imperial mausoleum without sorrow or joy, I knew it was too late.
I knelt on the ground and wanted to tell her all my worries and all my regrets.
But I want to say too much, thousands of words stuck in the throat, and finally only that one she no longer care about the heart. When
she asked me how the two of us had come to this point, I suddenly felt that ten thousand arrows piercing the heart was just so so.
Yes. Why?
If I can understand her awkward mind earlier, and distinguish what is appreciation and what is like earlier. We will not be separated by so many years that we can never go back.
I knelt there for two days and she never showed up. Later, the little emperor sent someone to drag me up.
He was so angry that he pointed at my nose and scolded me: “Ji Lang, if you want to play a trick, don’t be here. It’s in the way of my sister’s eyes!”
My voice was too hoarse to speak, and I could only shake my head.
I didn’t mean to use a bitter trick. I just thought that this was the imperial mausoleum, and I wanted to beg them and the gods and Buddhas all over the sky.
Bless Ziju to have a safe and successful life and live a long life.
I also beg them to let me meet Ziju in my next life.
It’s funny. I’ve killed countless enemies on the battlefield, and I’ve never believed in it, but now I’m asking from the bottom of my heart. I won’t be given another chance in this life. I just want to have an afterlife.
I said to the little emperor, “Now that the sea and the river are clear, I am willing to hand over the amulet. I only ask Your Majesty’s permission to let me guard here.”
The little emperor twisted his eyebrows and said, “Sister Huang won’t see you again.”
“I know.” The sweet smell in my throat grew stronger and stronger, and my face was expressionless. “I’ll stay around here, and I won’t go beyond half a step.” It’s good
to be able to watch her like this.
In the past, I left her alone, through one hopeless night after another, and tasted the bitterness of waiting.
Now I’ll wait.
The little emperor was silent for a long time and agreed. But after all, there was still some unwillingness, and he threw down a sentence: “You didn’t love Sister Huang before, so why bother to pretend now?”
I was promised and fell to the ground with a wry smile. How could
I not love her? Up to now, I can still remember every word and every vivid expression of her bickering with me in the Academy.
I also remember her more and more lonely eyes after she married me.
Still remember, when I first saw the thin green shirt, full of red sleeves. It was the time to act recklessly. There were so many beauties and beautiful scenery that I completely forgot the palpitations in my heart when I sat on the rockery and bowed my head.
If there is a flower, it can be broken straight and must be broken. Don’t wait for no flower to break the branch.
I deserve to be lonely all my life.
Several years later, there is still no shortage of people listening to stories.
Everyone says how legendary the life of Princess Qingyang is. At the age of 17, he abandoned his son-in-law, Zhang Zidong. Later, he and General Ji invited him to guard the imperial mausoleum, but there was no news of him. General Ji had never married since he left, so he removed his military power and disappeared. When
they mentioned it, they were amazed. Only I knew what kind of twists and turns it was. Only I knew that in the legendary life of Princess Qingyang, she loved a self-righteous fool, and then the fool killed all her love.
I’m the fool.
