What
are the simple patterns of interpersonal communication?
If you go to the mall and see a coffee shop and want to sit down, the clerk asks: Hello, do you want to drink snow top coffee or hand-brewed coffee?
Then you will probably consider his proposal first.
Also, your girlfriend wants to eat fried chicken, but you are still hesitating, then your girlfriend asks you: to eat the original fried chicken or Korean hot sauce?
At this point, your brain will be out of control and have already made a choice between the two flavors.
Closed questions have their own preset answers.
For example, if your girlfriend wants to eat fried chicken, you can only choose the taste. Questions
with presuppositions are like circles that have been drawn, and whatever the other person answers is the answer you want.
True or false questions make people think “Yes or no”; multiple choice questions make people think “Whichoneis better”, which is equivalent to answering “Yes” for the other person first. In fact,
this speech technique also involves psychological knowledge, which has the function of guiding answers. The FBI often uses it to detect lies, such as: 11 classic interpersonal speech techniques, which teach you how to easily handle all kinds of social relationships: After studying psychology, I know how to penetrate other people’s hearts, and I am good at empathy. My popularity and social interaction have become better.
2. End the awkward chat! Skillfully use “sophistry” to become a humorous person. Do you think the manager is very humorous?
I also think he is very humorous, but this kind of humor is actually illogical. It is the manager who “stealthily” changed the concept. The point of his
colleague’s question was “why not drive,” but he grasped the point of “running on the road,” and cleverly shifted the topic to “do you still fly in the sky if you don’t run on the road?”?
How to be a humorous person?
It is to use the idea of “sophistry” to shift the focus of the topic to other refutable points.
Policeman: Whose was the red car beside your wife when she died?
Prisoner: I don’t know. I’ve never seen that truck before.
Policeman: I didn’t say it was a truck. Once I had
a company dinner, I met the manager of the department at the door. People of the same trade jokingly said, “Why doesn’t the manager drive? He still takes a taxi and runs on the road!”! The manager got out of the car and patted him on the shoulder and asked, “I’m not running on the road, but I’m still flying in the sky.”?
！ Everyone laughed and went into the restaurant.
If he had answered, “Hey, I don’t want to take a taxi today because of the tail number restriction,” the conversation would have been dull. If you learn
this trick, you will be invincible in the social circle.
Of course, this is just a starter, and I will share 10 classic words used in different occasions later! 3. The SCQA model that allows you to get a promotion and a raise faster than others. This model is actually a “structured expression” model, which contains four levels: S (Situation) scenario, which is introduced by familiar situations and facts.
C (Complication) Conflict-The actual situation often conflicts with our requirements.
Q (Question)-What to do?
A (Answer) Answer-What is our solution?
Want to tell a good story, SCQA can not be less, but the senior felt that this model is most suitable for ordinary people to use, or in the dialogue with the superior leadership.
For example, and the boss to report work, the most eye-catching statement is: “Boss, our products can not be sold.”.
Only the result, did you say the reason? Do you
have a solution?
Nothing. I give you a lot of dirty looks.
Using the SCQA model, it can be described as: the SCQA model has a beginning and an end, a cause and a consequence, which is the most convenient for the boss to understand and make decisions.
Long-term exercise of this communication skills, the boss will certainly think that you are a clear, logical thinking ability of a good seedling! 4. Is it difficult to introduce yourself with a 50-year self-introduction formula?
It’s not hard, but a lot of people can’t.
If you don’t believe me, what would you say if I asked you to introduce yourself now?
Hello, my name is XXX, graduated from XXX school, working in XXX.
。
。
。
。
。
It is believed that most people’s self-introduction is like this: dull, lifeless, like the census.
Today, the senior will share with you a very useful self-introduction formula. As long as you learn and practice, you can make a beautiful and impressive self-introduction on any occasion.
Self Introduction Structure Composition & # x3D; ① Who am I + ② What does it have to do with you + ③ What is the use to you? Boss, recently the next door changed the launch time of the new product (explain the background), our new product just collided with theirs, sales are expected to decline by 20% (conflict with the requirements), we are going to contact the online sales channels (how to do), and put part of the offline sales online. The combination of e-commerce activities can recover the turnover and enhance the influence of the network (solution).
This may be too abstract, I casually make up an interview self-introduction you listen to: Hello, my name is XXX, engaged in e-commerce operations.
(Who am I) I know your company’s information, your company’s main products are clothing category, I used to run clothing category stores, very appropriate (what’s the relationship with you) If I am lucky enough to join your company, I will use my previous experience to create more drainage and transformation for your company’s stores. Create more achievements (what’s the use for you) This method is applicable to most situations in life, such as the self-introduction of the upperclassman: 5. Use the “basic model” to catch the attention of the other party in one second. Attention is an extremely limited resource. If you want others to listen carefully and understand your meaning quickly, you need to master the “basic model”.
Hello, I am senior Feynman, an author who focuses on the field of personal growth.
(Who am I?) The article you see now is one of my dry goods. Of course, there are more dry goods on my answer page. Readers, like you, like to grow and improve.
(What does it have to do with you?) I insist on using detailed and sincere words to output my opinions and the necessary thinking and methods on the way to growth.
If you are also a self-improvement student, you can pay attention to me or my official account, which will certainly help you.
What is the “base model”?
Our understanding of a strange thing begins with a “rough classification” rather than a “precise description.”.
People prefer things that they are familiar with. Before instilling new ideas, think about what “old ideas” others already have, so that it is easier for everyone to “understand” what you mean.
6. Master the principle of WIIFM. Everyone is willing to help you. Some time ago, an employee of Huawei became popular. His name is Chen Yinglin.
The Huawei Cloud salesman used a seemingly “aimless” email to persuade Luo Zhenyu to replace Alibaba Cloud, the service provider he had worked with for many years, with Huawei Cloud.
Chen Yinglin mainly said four things in the short 100-word email: explain the planning ideas to colleagues. It can be said that this activity is similar to the well-known XXXX activity, and the main difference is XXXXX.
① We have carefully selected a customer for the enterprise knowledge service. As long as we are willing, we can sign an order of 5 million yuan immediately.
② This cooperation has nothing to do with whether to choose Huawei Cloud. Please don’t put pressure on Luo Zhenyu.
③ The president and vice president of Huawei Cloud have always been users, and they are very concerned about the progress of cooperation with Huawei Cloud.
We do things in Huawei Cloud, not to make money from customers, but to help customers make money.
Luo Zhenyu said frankly that after reading the email, all the concerns were swept away, as if there was only one way to sign the contract.
Chen Ying-lin’s success is based on the WIIFM principle (short for What ‘sInItForMe), which States, “What does this have to do with me?”? The key to
this principle is that if you can see what the other person needs and help him solve it, then you will also get his help. People
in trouble often only care about their own problems, but the way to solve problems is usually how you solve other people’s problems.
At that time, Luo Zhenyu was fully willing to continue to cooperate with Alibaba Cloud, but because Huawei Cloud’s sales grasped the point of getting enterprise-level customers and helped them solve their problems, it was also willing to help this salesman to solve the “performance” problem.
7. Maintain a long-term relationship with the “word of debt.” Sometimes I do someone a big favor, and the other person thanks me a thousand times. The more I say, “It’s all right, don’t take it to heart,” the more frightened he becomes.
In fact, it’s better than trying to say, “It’s really all right, it’s all right.”.
A better way to say it is, “You’re welcome. I’ll bother you next time I have something to do.”. If you
receive a favor from someone else, you can only say thank you but can’t repay it, which will make the other person feel that he owes a favor or is inferior to others. Responding to the other party’s thanks
with “I will trouble you next time” can relieve the other party’s guilt and pressure in an equal and reciprocal position.
Moreover, the world is unpredictable, and if something really needs his help, he can more naturally say, “You see, I said I would definitely trouble you in the future.”.
“We owe each other, otherwise why should we miss each other?” 8. The key to “self-mockery” is that people who can laugh at themselves with only three words are generally more popular.
Because this special sense of humor can make the other person feel “superior,” thus closing the psychological distance. In the second year after I
came to Beijing, I went back to my hometown to attend a classmate’s party. While I was eating, one of my classmates said, “Look at Feynman. He works hard in a big city, unlike us, who stay in a small place to make a living every day.”.
At that time, I felt more than a dozen pairs of eyes shooting at me, so I swallowed the rice in my mouth, sighed and said, “Yes, I’m different from you. You can get a meal every day, but it takes me several days to get a bite.”.
My way of answering is a typical self-mockery. Don’t think that I am born with humor. In fact, there is a routine here.
The key is three words: yes. And. To say “yes” is to admit what the other person means. No matter what you say, I first admit that what you say is right. This part is very important.
“Moreover,” that is, to go on to say what he said, it is even more cruel and excessive than what he said. It can be exaggerated, misinterpreted, or sophistry.
For example, seven aunts and eight aunts ask you: Why don’t you have a girlfriend now?
You can say, “Yeah, not to mention a girlfriend, it’s hard to have a friend in a big city.”.
This self-deprecating technique is something I learned from my speech.
If you pay close attention, you will find that many speakers like to use self-mockery to enliven the atmosphere of the scene, and the audience will find it interesting and interesting.
9. RIDE Persuasion Principle. When it comes to other people’s hearts, it’s not easy for a person to make a decision and change it. At this time, RIDE techniques can come in handy: R (risk) risk: What risks will arise if you don’t take your advice.
People are more sensitive to loss than to gain.
I (interest): What is the benefit of accepting your advice (the psychological threshold was lowered before, but now it is raised again).
D (differences): How is your suggestion different from others (everyone likes unique things).
E (effect): Throw out a negative flaw (something that is too perfect is not true, and a small flaw is more believable).
For example, advise friends not to leave easily: (R risk): You are gone now, the new company offer has not come down, what if the sesame watermelon is lost?
Friends gossip: a new company, the salary doubled, right?
You can say, “Yes, from 5 yuan to 10 yuan, eating instant noodles is finally willing to add a sausage.”.
(I benefit): If you stabilize now, talk to the manager, with your previous performance, you may be given a raise.
(D difference): The business of that company is not as mature as that of the current old owner.
(E influence): That is, the promotion is slower, but it is better than new company in other aspects, and it is closer to your home.
10, a coin, subdue the indecision of the other side, some problems are difficult to decide by oneself, then want to find someone else to “make decisions” for oneself.
But when he was advised to choose A, he said that B was good, and when he was advised to choose B, he said that A was actually good.
At this time, if you say, “Let me give you a good analysis of this problem and list the advantages and disadvantages of a and B respectively..” He must not have the patience to listen.
It’s better to say, “Oh, it’s really a problem. Why don’t we flip a coin?”! Choose A for the head and B for the back! This is because an indecisive person does not lack “decisiveness,” but rather lacks “self-persuasion.”.
Fear of regret, will be entangled. The moment the
coin was tossed, he already had the answer in his mind.
11, use the “universal template” to write the most “different” blessing, not to the festival, blessing is indispensable, today the upperclassman teaches you a “universal formula”, is also based on the knowledge I learned to sum up, 1 minute can write a blessing WeChat, but also to impress the other party.
Blessing Structure & # x3D; Feeling + Moving + You This structure is actually very simple. I will open it and you will understand it instantly.
Feelings (feelings): The good feelings you brought to me in our relationship this year.
Action: The act of blessing the subject during the course of the year.
You (influence): The influence or help that the other person has on you.
For example: General Manager Li, have a good holiday. I have benefited a lot from being around you
this year. I remember that you asked me to have a few drinks at the beginning of the year. It was that conversation that solved my confusion about career development.
I wish you a happy New Year and a happy family! When this dialogue was knocked out, General Manager Li thought to himself, “This young man, a little bit, has a heart, and he will be mentioned more next year.”.
. Focus on not getting lost ~
