10. I Walk Alone in a Thousand Mountains

Qianshan I walk

alone newborn calf, dry turn over evil tiger: know the law youth you don’t mess with

the wedding vows, I found my anti-drug police boyfriend who died two years ago, sitting in the corner, silently looking at me. Before

reason could react, tears were already flowing out.

I’m shaking all over.

The master of ceremonies smiled and said, “It seems that our bride is so touched. She must be very happy to marry her beloved.”. Let’s give her a round of applause!

Relatives and friends applauded.

He lowered his head and smiled, poured the wine, raised his glass to me, and drank it down.

I kept repeating the words: “In this life, I will be loyal to you, no matter whether you live or die, no matter whether you live or die.”

I can’t go on.

That was supposed to be read to him.

The groom gently wiped the tears from my face and bowed his head to kiss me. Out of the corner of

my eye, there was no one in that corner. When I

met Song Shen, I was still in college. My cell phone was stolen

at the subway exit, and I was chased all the way in high heels. He

managed to sprain both feet. I couldn’t

catch up with him, and my feet hurt terribly. I couldn’t hold back. I held the tree and cried. Someone

behind me brushed my shoulder and rushed out, tall and thin figure, wearing a black sweater, running like a swift cheetah.

Someone else helped me up with a smile and said, “Don’t cry. That was our monitor. With him, you can’t lose your cell phone.”

I saw his school badge and name. He was from the police Academy next door. His name was Chen Qi.

But a minute later, the boy in the black sweater turned back, with his cell phone, and escorted the thief back.

“39 seconds, Song Shen, did you speed up your sprint again?” Chen Chi glanced at his watch and went to see the thief. “You’re out of luck. Today you met the first one in our department. Do you still want to run away?”

The thief was so dejected that he dared not lift his head.

The boy named Song Shen was too lazy to talk, so he came straight to me and handed the phone back to me.

I stood up on the tree and reached for it. “Thank you.” There was another sharp pain in

his ankle and he almost fell to the ground.

Fortunately, he helped me in time.

He had a strong arm, and I fell into his arms. He

could smell the faint scent of laundry detergent on his clothes, and his chin seemed to hit his collarbone.

Song Shen quickly released his hand, stepped back and pulled away from me.

When Chen Qi saw this, he said, “Oh, did you sprain your ankle?”? Sung Shen, don’t you have to carry him to the police station?

Song Shen stared at him with cold eyes. Smiling,

Chen Chi looked at me and said, “You don’t know, today he accompanied me to the temple, and the master insisted on giving him a lot.”

I wonder.

Song Shen obviously wanted to stop him, but Chen Qi had already finished in one breath.

The Master said that his true destiny was not in the past, not in the future, but in the present. Don’t you think it’s a coincidence that he met you just after he came out?

Song Shen gave him a warning look and motioned him to shut up.

I held my cell phone and blushed for no reason.

That thief is estimated also foolish, ask unexpectedly: “Does that still go to police station?”? The cell phones are all back to you.

Chen Chi immediately put a choke hold on him and dragged him forward, saying, “Song Shen, I’ll leave you to take care of my sister.”. Remember, he sprained both his feet! I was so

embarrassed that I said, “It doesn’t matter. I can walk by myself.”

As soon as he took a step, he bared his teeth in pain.

“Don’t force it.” I heard him say.

Then he bent his knees lightly and was picked up by him.

The arm subconsciously hugged his neck and hurriedly released it.

The street lamp was bright, and the lines of his side face, like a smooth ink stroke, dripped into the invisible part of the collar of his sweater.

I quietly reached out and gently grasped his sleeve.

Song Shen had no reaction, as if he had not noticed. After

taking notes and returning to school, Zhou Xuan was already waiting for me at the school gate and kept thanking him.

Song Shen nodded and turned away. I

don’t know where the courage came from, and I shouted, “Can you give me the contact information?”

His footsteps paused, but he did not stop. He turned his back to me and waved. In the

empty street, the street lamp stretched his figure very long.

I suddenly thought of that sentence. I walk alone on

a thousand mountains, so I don’t have to see you off.

The school arranges social activities with the police Academy.

I took out the momentum of the final exam and wrote my personal profile in full swing, so I was selected smoothly.

I quickly swept the opposite side, but unfortunately, there was no Song Shen.

Some boys asked me to dance, but I refused. In the middle of the

dance floor, many people were dancing, but I was in a daze.

I heard someone at the door call out, “Sung Shen?”? I thought you weren’t coming.

I suddenly stood up and saw Song Shenzheng talking to someone.

“There’s still time after the training. Come and sign in.” The man opposite

him was Chen Chi, who laughed: “You boy, Lao Li wants you to prop up the table, so you just go through the motions.”

Song Shen was too lazy to speak and was about to leave after signing.

I called out to him, “Sung Shen.”

He looked back in surprise and looked at me with dark eyes.

I steeled myself and said, “Can I have a dance with you?”

Chen Chi was already shouting: “Isn’t this the right fate for Sung Shen?”

Song Shen hesitantly called out my name: “Ji Xiaoxiao?”

I nodded hastily: “I, I haven’t danced today, can I …”

He was silent for a moment and said, “I can’t dance.”

My heart sank. “Yes, yes,”

I said dryly.

Chen Qi gave me a sympathetic look.

I forced a smile at him.

Song Shen pursed his lips and suddenly said, “But if you want, I can buy you coffee.” When I

hold a hot latte, it’s like I’m dreaming.

Song Shen’s words are not much, today seems to be particularly quiet, has not spoken much. The dance party in the

communication hall was drawing to a close, and people came out sporadically. The

school bus was parked next to it, and the driver came down to smoke. “How are you going back?” As

KS Sung Shen.

I was a little disappointed: “We have arranged to leave in unison, and we have to call the roll.” “Well,”

he said, glancing at his watch, “I’ll go first.” I

don’t know why, but I have a feeling that once he leaves, he will never look back. “Song Shen!” I shouted to him as

his voice raced through my head.

He turned around.

Eyebrows slightly raised, waiting for me to speak. I

was wringing my skirt, and I kept saying, “I have to bring back a potential partner from the fraternity. Can you help me?”

There was a moment of silence.

Sung Shen finally said, “Maybe I flattered myself, but I think I need to explain to you that if nothing happens, I will never fall in love, get married, or have children in my life.”

I froze in place.

I don’t know how long it was before the driver finished smoking and shouted, “You can get on the bus now!” As if waking up from a dream,

I said incoherently, “Yes, yes.”. Thank you for the coffee. Goodbye.

He looked down at me and said, “Goodbye.”

I am crossed in love, although it is a secret love.

Zhou Xuan dragged me to drink and said she would introduce me to a handsome guy. Several of

them went to the disco, I sat in the same place silently in a daze, unconsciously, and thought of Song Shen.

He said he would never fall in love in his life.

And before you know it, a whole cup of Long Island Iced Tea goes down.

Who says wine can drown your sorrows? Mingming is more worried.

Finally, when the show was over, Zhou Xuan took me to take a shortcut back, and I stuck to her ear, muttering and talking nonsense.

Halfway through, I squatted on the edge of the trash can and wanted to vomit. Suddenly, I heard Zhou Xuan screaming behind me.

I turned around, then rushed up like crazy, and knocked the man who pulled Zhou Xuan away.

“Shit, you let her go!” Instead of pushing him,

I was pushed to the ground by him.

The fur unraveled, revealing the suspenders inside.

He let go of Zhou Xuan and came to me.

He grabbed my arm, pulled me up, and with his other hand, he rudely pulled off the fur coat.

“Very loyal, little girl. Then you can take her place.”

I gave him a slap in the face.

The man was hurt and grabbed my neck.

Chou Hsuan threw herself at him and broke his hand, shouting, “Help!”

At the moment, the bar is full of people leaving the show, and there is a hubbub of voices.

No one can hear what’s going on in this alley. I

feel like I’m suffocating. The

line of sight is full of stars, one on top of the other.

The man was suddenly pulled away, and then someone threw a heavy punch.

Fist wind is fast and fierce, but a few seconds, the man was knocked down to the ground, half a day did not get up.

I slid down the wall, clutching my throat and coughing.

Fall into whose bosom, really warm.

Sung Shen frowned in front of me. “How are you?”

Wine is really a good thing, unexpectedly can let me see Song Shen. I have to drink it

in the future. I can’t see it in reality, but I can see it in illusion.

Seeing my silence, he held out five fingers and waved them in front of my eyes: “Are you still awake?”

I grabbed him by the wrist. In the dim light of the

alley, I saw him raise his eyebrows and question his eyes.

I said, “Chou Hsuan, what you gave me was actually a hallucinogen, wasn’t it?”? The person in the hallucination will pass me a tissue. Do you think it’s funny? Ha ha. Holding the wall

, Chou Hsuan stood up, panting and scolding me, “Are you an idiot?”? Then it’s ***ing Sung Shen!

I reached out and pinched Song Shen’s face.

It’s warm.

He looked at me quietly, his eyes dark.

It turned out to be the real Song Shen, not a fantasy.

I burst into tears and held him tightly in my arms. “I’m about to forget you. Why did I meet you again?” Sung Shen, I hate you.

He froze. A familiar figure jumped out from behind

him and said, “Hey, isn’t this Song Shen’s fate?”? Oh, we are so predestined. We just started the training. As I was walking along, he suddenly turned a corner, and it seemed that the hero had come to save the beauty.

It’s Chen Qi.

He was still chattering, “Sung Shen, your ears are really smart. When you hear someone crying, there is really someone.”. This is not the telepathy between positive fate, is it? Ha ha ha ha. “If you have time to talk, why don’t you go and help her find her coat?

” Sung Shen said with forbearance. As soon as

Chen Qi patted his head, he went to look for it.

After a while, he said, “It’s in the dirty ditch. I can’t wear it.” When the cold wind blew

again, I couldn’t help shrinking, and subconsciously shrank into his arms. “What can we do?” Asked

Chen Chi. Without saying a word,

Song Shen began to take off his coat and then wrapped me in the down jacket.

His temperature. His temperature.

I was wrapped up so tightly that I only had two eyes to look at him.

He asked me, “Can I still walk?” The

dim light fell on his eyes, and I felt that he was much more patient than usual.

I felt like crying: “My legs are hurting and some ants are biting me.”. Can you pick me up?

Chou Hsuan finally came to her senses and put her arms on her hips. “You’ve been drinking too much. You really don’t have intelligence. The ants are so thin that they bite you. Your legs are numb after squatting for a long time!”.

I couldn’t understand what she said. I only knew to wipe my tears with Song Shen’s coat.

Tears burned his face, and the place where he was beaten began to ache. The man in

front of me was silent for a moment, said nothing, and picked me up.

Through the dark alleys, through the noisy bars.

His arms were so strong, but his whole body was quiet and cold.

I looked at him without blinking, and he turned his face away. The arc of

the eyelashes, like the wings of a butterfly, is long and warped.

My stomach began to churn again, and I covered my mouth.

Sung Shen was aware of this: “Do you want to vomit?”

The voice is very soft, and it sounds a little gentle. “I don’t think about it now,” I said,

wiping away the tears that burst out in an instant.

He raised his eyes. “Are you crying again?”

I couldn’t help choking up: “I feel so bad, I feel so bad.”

He looked down at the red mark on my face. His eyes darkened. “Go to the hospital and take care of it. It will be all right soon.”

I shook my head. “No, I feel bad.”

Song Shen looked at me inquiringly.

Night, alcohol, I actually read a little warmth from his eyes. The bitterness in

his chest became more and more turbulent, and I grabbed the collar of his sweater and couldn’t help crying.

Sung Shen, I just learned to like it, and you said you’d never fall in love. But life is so long, can you give me a chance? Is that okay, is that okay?

I looked at him imploringly.

However, there was no superfluous expression on his face, and he even stopped looking at me, and his eyes fell on the occasional roaring traffic in the street.

The evening breeze is so cold that I can’t see the stars.

I slowly loosened his clothes.

“Chou Hsuan was right. I was drunk today. I’m sorry.” When I

woke up, I was already lying on the bed in the bedroom.

The sky is bright.

I looked at my mobile phone, and it was already eleven o’clock. Only when

I opened my mouth did I feel my voice was hoarse: “Chou Hsuan?”? Are you there?

Zhou Xuan opened the curtain, poured me a cup of honey water and handed it up.

“Drink up and rehydrate.”

My head hurts. It hurts like it’s going to crack.

My face and arms hurt, too. The sun shone through the window, and I saw my arms black and blue.

I hesitated, “I cheated on your wine yesterday. Did you beat me up?” Angrily

, Chou Hsuan put her arms akimbo and said, “Why were you beaten by me? We were beaten by a pervert, okay?”

She climbed into my bed and shook my shoulders.

“Young lady, don’t tell me you’ve forgotten all about last night.”

I was dizzy by her shaking, so I lay down again and stared at the ceiling in a daze.

“You mean last night, pervert?”

Fragmentary fragments poured in, while the perverted man reached out and pulled my coat, while I cried in Song Shen’s arms.

I covered my face with my hands. “I must be dreaming.”

Zhou Xuan did not intend to let me go, took my hand away and told me in an orderly way.

“You yesterday..”

She said that Chen Qi was summoned by his girlfriend yesterday, so Song Shen took us to the hospital by taxi.

All the way, I was crying quietly.

The driver noticed me and kept watching us in the rearview mirror.

Song Shen had to show the campus card to the driver to prove that he was not a bad person. When the

doctor put medicine on my knee and arm, I grabbed Song Shen and cried until I gasped.

Finally, Song Shen took the cotton swab and disinfected my damaged wound little by little.

The doctor thought it was funny and told Song Shen that his little girlfriend was very delicate. Before

Song Shen could speak, I burst into tears, saying that I was not qualified to be his girlfriend. When

he sent us back to school, it was almost four o’clock in the morning.

It is said that I pulled Song Shen’s sleeve and refused to let go.

“If you leave, you won’t come back. I know. If you leave, we won’t have anything to do with each other. I know.”

Song Shen was silent all the time, looking down at me and letting me pull.

I looked at him and wiped my tears.

Finally, he suddenly let go, choked with sobs, and said firmly, “You can go. It doesn’t matter if you don’t fall in love. I can fall in love alone.”. It doesn’t matter, it really doesn’t matter.

The doorman couldn’t help coming out to inspect. Zhou Xuan felt humiliated and dragged me inside.

And I was still talking nonsense, turning back three times a step, crying.

Song Shen did not speak, but watched us until he was completely out of sight.

Chou Hsuan is still imitating vividly: Is it wrong to like someone? Zhou Xuan, why do you tell me to shut up?

I covered my face with a pillow towel and tried to strangle myself.

I have no face to live, really.

Zhou Xuan opened my pillow towel and handed me the mobile phone.

“You muttered about who you sent messages to all night yesterday. You should read it quickly. Don’t give the teachers a fanatical confession.” I was so

excited that I sat up with my cell phone in my hand. The

WeChat was empty, except for an unread message from a strange head.

He said, “Yes.”

What the hell?

I clicked on the chat dialog box and slid up to the top. There are some topsy-turvy words

in front of us, sometimes crying pain, sometimes saying fear. The

opposite person is also very patient to cooperate. Although the

replies are very brief, they can let people know that he has not left. Slide

down further and start acting like a rogue.

“Do you believe in fate?”

Life is too long. Seize the day. We roll the dice. 1:3, I win. 4:6, you win.

“I just want the day and night, not the rest of my life. Is that all right?” There is no reply

from the opposite. It was

almost twenty minutes before there was any new news.

He responded by throwing a die.

Four o’clock.

He won.

Two people should never cross paths again.

Instead, I sent out a happy meme, saying with certainty, “It’s 3, I won.”

He hasn’t spoken.

Until eight o’clock this morning, when I was still sleeping, he replied to the message.

He said, “Yes.”

Yes, you won.

Yes, maybe we can try to walk together day and night.

I am a shameless and dizzy drunk.

And he acquiesced. I

feel my eyes are a little sour.

Chou Hsuan was already so excited that she quickly shouted, “Ji Hsiao-hsiao, you are really capable!”! Are you really drunk? How can you do it better than when you’re awake?

I shook my head and felt my heart sour and swollen, and I couldn’t say anything. When I

climbed out of bed to wash, I caught a glimpse of the black down jacket on the back of the chair. Some of the memories of

last night came back. How

I shivered in Song Shen’s arms, how he took off his down jacket and wrapped me.

I grabbed him by the collar and cried, and he really looked down at me, his eyes dark as obsidian. I

can’t think anymore.

It’s better to avoid him for a few days.

Over there, Chou Hsuan picked up the phone and said, “Hey, police! Oh, okay, we’ll be there in about half an hour.”

She slipped behind me and looked at me in the mirror.

I forgot to tell you that yesterday Sung Shen asked us if we needed to call the police. As soon as I thought about how I could let the rascal get away, I had to call the police. The

facial cleanser covered my eyelids and I washed it off in a hurry.

I heard Chou Hsuan declare passionately, “So, pack up and let’s go to the police station.”. Meet the hooligans, and by the way, meet your beau!

Suddenly, the water choked in my throat. I

cough until I can’t breathe.

At first, it was just choking water, and then it was like a cough caused by cold.

Zhou Xuan poured water for me, opened the medicine box and handed me the capsule.

Song Shen prepared the cold medicine for you. The doctor said you didn’t have a fever and wouldn’t give you a prescription. He said you would sooner or later. I have to say, he’s a prophet, isn’t he?

I held the small capsule and was distracted for a moment. In the

police station, Song Shen has arrived.

Just a figure, still can see handsome. Wearing a hat and a mask,

I followed Zhou Xuan all the way, trying to make myself invisible.

Fortunately, Song Shen did not come to me to say anything, but to communicate with the police, talking about the whole story of yesterday.

I silently looked at his back, feeling a little uncomfortable, so I went out on the pretext of drinking water.

The water was gurgling, and I was a little distracted with the paper cup.

He held out a hand and turned off the tap for me.

“It’s overflowing.” A familiar voice.

I looked up in a panic and looked into Song Shen’s eyes.

“You’ve been avoiding me today. Why?” He hesitated for a few seconds, as if trying to organize his words. “Didn’t you say, seize the day?” The

hand shakes and the hot water will spill out.

Fortunately, Song Shen reacted quickly and caught it steadily.

He paused for a moment and then said, “I’ve heard of truth after drinking, and I’ve heard of nonsense after drinking.”. I don’t know what kind of person you were yesterday.

Yesterday’s words..

I was so embarrassed that my ears were red and I dared not look up at him.

Sung Shen observed my expression and thought he had the answer. He smiled and said, “I see. I’ll take what I said yesterday as a joke.”

He turned to go.

I looked up suddenly and blurted out, “That’s not a joke.”

He stopped.

I felt my face burning and my voice trembling a little, but I stubbornly wanted to finish my words.

“That’s not a joke. That’s from my heart. I just don’t dare say it.”

Song Shen looked at me, still very calm, patient and waiting.

I suddenly felt nervous and ashamed.

Last night, I shouldn’t have done that. I’m sorry. It’s like a kind of coercion to force you to say yes. But you don’t have to agree. You just have to listen to yourself.

Song Shen interrupted me: “I am 20 years old this year.”

I hesitated. “Hmm?” “So I’m an adult and I know exactly what I’m doing,”

he said lightly.

My head seemed to be dizzy again, and my voice was floating: “What do you mean?”

Song Shen put his hands in his pockets, a rare, somewhat uncertain look.

I mean, maybe we can try it together. I was just wondering how I could keep you from getting hurt.

The conjecture was confirmed. I was so

excite that I jumped up and put my arm around him.

“I won’t get hurt, absolutely not!”

He smiled, looked at the way I jumped and jumped, and reached out to pull my scattered hair.

He seemed to want to say something, but in the end he said nothing. Song Shen and

I are in love!

Just thinking about it makes me start giggling.

Zhou Xuan was so annoyed by my nagging that she pressed me on the chair and gave me the same cosmetics.

“You put on makeup now, and then go to find him, and then go to fall in love.”

I was extremely shy and said, “His school management is very strict. I can only go to see him at night.”

Chou Hsuan stood up straight, gave me her pen, and shouted, “Then hurry up and do your homework. It’s due tomorrow!”

Love and learning may be both possible.

I want.

Song Shen is very busy. We often date in the study room.

It’s a date, but it’s not all. It’s just a study. He is always very serious when he

studies, and I am very careful.

Writing, put the pen, put the exercise book, lie on the table, secretly look at him.

Such a handsome guy!

Such a smart, honest, kind and brave handsome man!

It’s my boyfriend!

Most of the time, he pretended not to see it and went on doing his own thing.

Occasionally, he would reach out, cover my eyes, and then turn my head back with a little force.

Often at this time, I took his hand.

He glanced at me, and I smiled and mouthed, “I’ll warm your hands!”!

He did not speak, nor did he withdraw his hand, but opened his fingers and wrapped mine completely.

There is the temperature of ironing, from the fingertips to the heart.

His hands are always warmer than mine.

Zhou Xuan thinks I like Song Shen a little more.

She taught me, “In a relationship, he must like you more than you like him, so that you will be happy, do you know?”

I hesitated: But … Even if I like him more, I’m very happy. I’m very happy.

Chou Hsuan lay down on her bed and wailed, “I can’t save you.”

I couldn’t help smiling.

Song Shen’s love is introverted, unlike my publicity.

He doesn’t make decisions easily, but once he decides what to do, he will do it with his heart.

A promise is as good as gold. That’s the kind of man he is.

Those he does not reveal the sweet, I just want to hide one by one, I see, no one wants to know. Concubine is hidden in

the golden house, and I hide Song Shen. During the

rare holiday, he asked me to go out to play. From the

plane to the high-speed rail and then to the bus, we arrived in the south from the north.

The vehicle passed through the field, and there were large areas of strange plants.

Song Shen said, this is tobacco. I have

lived in the north since I was a child, and there are some novelties along the way.

He gave me the window seat. I looked at the scenery and he looked at me. The bus

to the destination was in the evening, and I fell asleep on his shoulder. When I

woke up, I saw a bright moon through the car window. As soon as the mountains

outside the window pass by, only the bright moon is always there.

I quietly make a wish to the moon: I wish you a long life and share the beauty of this graceful moonlight, even though miles apart. Looking at Song Shen

again, he fell asleep.

Just sleep is not very solid, I do not know what to dream, slightly frowning.

I quietly reached out and stroked his eyebrows. I can’t bear to see him frown on

such a beautiful face.

Not even the slightest bit of discomfort. When the

bus stopped at the toll station, Song Shen opened his eyes.

I was caught off guard and kept looking down at him, and he caught me in sight.

He blinked slowly, with a faint stare of wakefulness. Embarrassed by being caught,

I laughed and prepared to lie back where I was.

The next second, he grabbed my head and kissed me.

11

is light enough to leave at a touch. Someone in the

back seat turned on the seat light and reached for something from the shelf.

Song Shen quickly let go of me.

My face was like a fire. I wrapped the hat of my coat around my face and zipped it up to the top, revealing only two eyes.

He put his hands on my cheeks and turned me to meet his eyes.

“It’s so easy to be shy,” he asks. “What can I do when I meet my parents?”

Meet the parents?

My palms began to sweat, and I became more and more nervous. “Why didn’t you say that in advance?”? I wasn’t even prepared. “What are you going to prepare for?”

He asked, somewhat amused.

I struggled: “For example, how to be polite and considerate, how to make my uncle and aunt like me..” I haven’t experienced any of this, so I have to study it in advance.

Song Shen looked at me, bent his lips, and his smile soon disappeared.

He said, “Not an aunt or uncle.”

I wondered, “Huh?”

He said, “My parents are dead, and the elders I want you to meet are their old friends.” In the

dark carriage, he said such a thing in such a flat tone.

I looked at him without blinking.

Sung Shen said, “Did I scare you?”

I took his hand and looked at him seriously.

“If they’re not here, then I must love you more.”

Song Shen stopped talking and just looked at me.

I pulled his palm to his cheek and used the temperature of his face to warm his cold skin.

I whispered, “If I had known earlier, I would have loved you more earlier.”

He pulled his hand away and hugged me tightly.

I saw the moon outside the car window again. Long

may we live! Long may we live.

Song Shen’s elders are very kind.

Although he looked very senior, when he spoke to us, he was as kind as my father. At the end of the

meal, he raised his glass to me.

I was so flattered that I quickly poured wine and bent down to clink glasses with him.

Song Shen wanted to stop me, but he didn’t. I had already drunk it all. There was reproach in

his eyes. Uncle

yuan smiled and said, After all these years, Hsiao Shen finally has someone by his side who can live an ordinary life. Thank you.

Song Shen lowered his eyes and said nothing.

My eyes are a little hot for no reason. Maybe it’s the glass of white wine.

I said, “You don’t have to thank him. If you want to thank him, I thank him for giving me a chance.”. You don’t know. I chased him. Ha ha ha ha. Embarrassed

, Sung explains in a low voice, “She’s always like this when she drinks.”

Uncle yuan looked at me, then at Song Shen, and laughed.

The meal lasted for a long time, and most of the time, Uncle yuan was talking about the interesting things about Song Shen’s childhood.

As I listened, I sketched in my mind what little Song Shen looked like.

It must be the same as it is now, very handsome and cold.

No one knows how warm he can be in private. At

the end of the show, it was evening. We said goodbye to Uncle yuan and walked slowly back to the hotel. There are pots of flowers that can’t be named in the

courtyard.

It’s amazing that in the north, this season, flowers are no longer blooming outdoors.

Song Shen moved a chair and let me sit down and look at it slowly. On a whim,

I took his hand and said, “Do you think you look like a rose?” “Roses?”

He asked.

I nodded wildly. “The first time I saw it, I thought it was really beautiful. If I wanted to reach out and pick it, I would be stabbed.”

He looked at me, hesitating. “I’m sorry.”

I put my arms around him and pressed my cheek against his neck.

Don’t say sorry, there is still the second half of the sentence. Song Shen, when you are really willing to be close to a person, you will pull out all the thorns with your own hands, so there is only beauty left. Ha ha ha ha, do I look like a poet?

Song Shen did not speak, but hugged my hand a little harder.

I struggled to straighten up so I could get close to his ear.

Muttered, “Song Shen, I love you so much.”. Thank you for giving me the opportunity to be close to you. You don’t even know how happy I am to be with you. When I

entered the room, I found that Song Shen was in a standard room.

Two beds, Chu River and Han boundary, clean and innocent.

I stared at him, and he avoided my sight. After

washing, I lay on the bed, and the more I thought about it, the more short of breath I got. On the

other bed, Song Shen breathed lightly, as if he had fallen asleep.

How could he! How can I! Don’t

I have any charm?

I got out of bed, got in bed, and climbed into his bed.

He opened his eyes. The

light moonlight shone in, and I could read the doubts in his eyes.

I pulled back the covers and got in. Without blushing, I said, “Oh, I haven’t sleepwalked for a long time. I think today is a good day.”

Song Shen was silent, turned over and got out of bed, went around to my original bed, and lay down. Angry,

I sat up and stepped over to him.

Through the quilt, hands and feet, tightly wrapped around him. Am

I that annoying? Other people’s boyfriends want to hang out with their girlfriends, so why don’t you?

Sung Shen forbore and looked away. “You come down first.”

I want to cry, “I don’t want it.” “If the temperature is low, you will catch cold,”

he said, half coaxing and half persuading.

I got into the quilt and hugged his arm tightly.

In his shocked expression, he smiled sweetly: “So I won’t catch cold.”

Song Shen doesn’t seem to want to talk very much.

I comforted him, “You don’t have to worry about what I will do to you. I can’t beat you at all.”. If I break the law and commit a crime, you can tie me up.

He exhaled softly and finally said, “Go to sleep.”

I don’t know if he can sleep, but I can’t.

Song Shen’s arm was on my chest, and I didn’t dare to move.

Afraid of. Crush him.

He dared not let go for fear that he would leave quietly. I couldn’t

sleep, so I looked at his sleeping face.

The eyelash is really long, the skin is really white, I really don’t know how to grow.

I don’t know how long it took, but there were several intermittent sounds coming from the next door.

I suddenly realized what it was. My cheeks turned red and I shrank into the quilt.

The single bed was too narrow and, inevitably, touched his skin.

I drew back my feet hurriedly for fear of freezing him.

My hands and feet are cold in winter. I didn’t soak my feet tonight. Up to now, my feet are still cold.

Just for a moment, I saw him open his eyes.

Song Shen pulled his hand away and turned over, so my foot clung tightly to his calf.

So warm.. It is also conceivable that he will feel more ice.

I hurried to break away and couldn’t move at all.

“Don’t move.” His voice was a little hoarse.

I didn’t dare to look at him and buried myself in the pillow. The

atmosphere became strange, and I was a little embarrassed, peeking at Song Shen.

But he was motionless, staring at the ceiling in a trance. I’m not the only one who’s

embarrassed.

The night gradually returned to quiet, and I suddenly had other thoughts.

I leaned close to his ear and asked, “Do you know the difference between a kiss and a kiss?”

Song Shen seemed to feel something, and did not answer, moved to the outside, quietly pulled away from me.

How could I let him go? I put my arm around his shoulder and threatened, “If you move again, I will lie on you.”

Sung Shen lost his temper and looked at me with forbearance. “What do you want to do?” A very inappropriate answer immediately popped up in

my mind. Shocked by my own shamelessness,

I pressed my forehead against his shoulder socket and laughed incessantly. When I had

laughed enough, I looked up solemnly. “I didn’t think about anything. I just wanted to ask you, do you know the difference between kissing and kissing?”

Song Shen doesn’t speak. The wind is blowing

outside the window, and the shadows of the trees are shaking.

I slowly moved to his side: “You do not say, I think you do not know, I will teach you…”

Bow your head and kiss him on the lips.

He suddenly opened his eyes wide, and his obsidian eyes looked at me.

Cheek a little red, but be calm: “You don’t stare at me, I’m teaching you knowledge.” Put

your elbows up, close your eyes, and cheer yourself up.

But Song Shen did not cooperate.

I kissed without any rules, and the sweat came out, and I didn’t find a way. Angry,

I opened my eyes and stared at him. “How could you do that?”

I heard him laughing.

The next second, the world is spinning. The

line of sight is all occupied by him, that pair of dark eyes, like a whirlpool, will take away my reason.

I think I’m gonna drown in his eyes.

Song Shen bent down, not eager, and guided me slowly and patiently.

So just like this, you can feel your legs are weak.

He finally let go of me, and I was about to go out of my body, holding his arm and gasping for breath.

Song Shen reached out and touched my hair like a kitten.

Then he bowed his head, kissed me on the forehead, and said, “Sleep.” On the last day of the

trip, Song Shen said he was going somewhere and asked me to wait for him.

As if he was worried, he told me that if I walked outside, I should pay extra attention to safety. I was inseparable from him

all the way, and I was a little reluctant to part with him suddenly.

I grabbed the hem of his coat and whispered, “Where is it?”? Can you take me with you?

He turned and did not speak for a moment.

I added, “I’ll just stand at the door and not bother you, okay?”? I want to be with you.

Song Shen pursed his lips and finally said, “Good.” When

the bus stopped, he took me by the hand and stopped at the funeral shop. There are yellow and white chrysanthemums in front of the

shop, both real and fake.

Paper villas, paper cars, paper clothes, are colorful, not gloomy, but like works of art.

Song Shen quickly came out, carrying a bag of ghost money and incense, said nothing, and led me forward.

I just noticed that he was dressed in black today. When I got off

again, I was at the gate of the Martyrs’ Cemetery. The location of the

cemetery is very secret, and you need to go through multiple procedures to get in.

Song Shen completed the formalities, and the guard opened the door and signaled us to go in.

I probably realized what Song Shen was taking me to do, staring at his red leather boots, a little hesitant.

Color. It’s too bright.

Song Shen took a few steps forward and raised his eyebrows slightly when he saw that I didn’t keep up.

It was an inquiring look.

I said, “Can you wait for me?”? I took off my shoes.

He was puzzled and frowned, “You will be cold.”. And there’s a cobblestone road inside, and you’ll be in pain.

I quickly took off my boots and stuffed them into my schoolbag. “It’s not cold. Let’s go,” I said with a smile.

The guard first laughed and said, “Little sister, all the people lying inside are martyrs. They don’t care about that.” Only then did

Song Shen understand that his eyes were dark and unclear.

He put down his bag and came over.

“If you come, they will be very happy.” He said so.

Then he unzipped my schoolbag, took out my boots, put my ankles on his knees, and re-fastened the rope buckles of my boots. He is very serious in everything he

does.

The doorman stood aside with a smile and said nothing.

And my face is red.

Looking at his long fingers, he was suddenly distracted.

Think of the first time we met, he was like this, holding my ankle, spraying Yunnan Baiyao in all directions.

The last rope buckle is also fastened.

Song Shen pulled me up and touched my head gently.

Stepping through the cobblestones, passing the pine and cypress, I came to a tombstone.

It is the joint tomb of Song Shen’s parents.

They died more than ten years ago when Song Shen was six years old. On

the tombstone, the place where the names of the descendants should be written is empty. There is no Song Shen’s name

on it.

It can be seen that the cemetery staff have carefully cleaned, here is very clean, there are no dead branches and fallen leaves.

Song Shen took out the paper towel from the bag and gently wiped the photo on the tombstone. The two people in the

photo smiled very clearly, and between their eyebrows and eyes, they could vaguely see the shadow of Song Shen.

Song Shen straightened up, lit a few sticks of incense, and gave them to me.

I quickly took it and worshipped again and again.

After worshipping, he took the incense in his hand and waited for Song Shen.

He was still in a bowing position. I haven’t moved for

a long time. Maybe I’m talking to mom and dad in my heart. Unconsciously,

his eyes drifted to the tombstone photo again.

Song Shen inserted the incense into the soil, and I followed him.

Incense ash accumulated too long, a little force, fell down, fell on the back of my hand.

Hot-

Song Shen reacted faster than I did, holding my wrist, unscrewing the bottle cap and pouring water on the back of his hand.

In fact, it’s just a moment of pain, and it will soon be better.

I was a little embarrassed to make a fuss.

And he seemed a little distracted.

I called to him softly, “Song Shen?”? What are you thinking?

He smiled and said, “When I was a child, I burned my hand just like you.”. My mother, like me now, quickly unscrewed the bottle cap and poured out the water.

He was just talking about the past, but I suddenly wanted to hug him.

If even such a small thing can be deeply remembered in my heart.

So how many times has he chewed the memories of his parents over the years? Although Song Shen and

I are two years apart, our birth dates are only one day apart.

When I asked him how he spent his birthday, he recalled, “Since I was seven years old, I haven’t celebrated my birthday.”

I jumped up. “How can that work?” On the

pedestrian bridge, he held me by the waist and said helplessly, “Be careful.”

I took his hand and said cheerfully, “Why don’t we spend it together on your birthday?”

He hesitated for a moment and finally nodded yes.

It happened to be Saturday.

I made an appointment to rent a house on a daily basis, called Zhou Xuan and Chen Qi last week, and invited several friends of Song Shen.

Everyone buys food and cooks together, which is very lively.

Song Shen sent me a message in advance, saying that the teacher had something to do with him and that he would be late so that we didn’t have to wait for him.

As Chou Hsuan was cooking, she directed Sung Shen’s classmates to wash the vegetables. “Why did the teacher keep him and not you?” She asked casually.

Those people laughed and said, “There’s some controversy about where Sung Shen will go after graduation. I guess the teacher is asking him to stay.”

My chopping slowed down. “What controversy?”

They looked at each other, and Chen Chi realized something was wrong: “Didn’t Sung Shen tell you?”

Chou Hsuan observed my expression and said, “Don’t keep me in suspense. Hurry up and say something.”

She playfully raised the spatula and urged, “If you don’t tell me, I won’t cook.”

Chen Qi said, “Actually, it’s not a big deal.”. Song Shen wanted to go back to Yunnan to work as a policeman, and the teacher thought he would have a better future and wanted to keep him in Beijing.

I said, “His hometown is in Yunnan, and it’s normal for him to want to go back.”

Another hesitated and said, “But Sung Shen wants to be an anti-drug policeman.”

A sharp pain. The

knife cut askew and cut on my finger.

Blood immediately gushed out and dripped on the cabbage, and the color contrast was obvious.

Chou Hsuan immediately threw away the spatula and shouted, “How could you be so careless?”

The students suddenly kept silent and went out to look for the medicine box with a wink.

After a few minutes, Chen Qi looks up and reports: “Myrrh box, we go to the gate of the community to buy it.” He ran away

for fear that Zhou Xuan would vent his anger. Sure enough

, Chou Hsuan hates that iron doesn’t make steel: “You can cut your hand off a vegetable. Go, go, go, go sit by the side, and I’ll cut it.”

I was driven to the sofa and pressed the wound with a tissue. The

blood gushed out and quickly soaked the paper towel.

I took a few more and pressed them down.

The door opened and I followed the sound.

Song Shen stood at the door with a bag of medicine.

18

He closed the door and came in.

“I met them on the way and they went to get the cake.” He said. I

looked at him and I had a lot to say, but I didn’t know how to say it.

Song Shen came straight over and took my hand. After

seeing the blood on the napkin, he frowned and said sternly, “Why are you so careless?”

I lowered my head and did not speak.

He took out the cotton and alcohol in the bag and paused to press it on the wound.

“It will hurt a little.”

I nodded. “I’ll take it.”

He gave me an unexpected look.

Yes, I have always been very delicate, not to mention cutting my fingers and breaking my skin for a whole day.

I lowered my head to avoid his sight.

Cotton pressed on the wound, ten fingers connected to my heart, and I was excited all over.

Soong Shen took out the bandage and said, “Don’t touch the water. If you want to take a shower, take a bag or a glove and wrap it around the wound.”

I nodded.

The bandage was wrapped around my finger. He continued, “Tomorrow I need to change the bandage. I’ll tell Chou Hsuan and ask her to change it for you.”

I’ll nod again.

He probably thought I was scared, and his voice was soft: “It looks like there’s a lot of blood, but in fact the wound is not big, and it will be all right in a few days.”

A tear fell down and disappeared into my dark velvet trousers.

Song Shen finally realized something was wrong with me and pushed aside my bangs.

A moment of silence. “Why are you crying?”

He asked.

I wiped my tears with the back of my hand and tried to calm down.

“Sung Shen, you’re going back to Yunnan to be an anti-drug policeman, aren’t you?”

He pursed his lips and asked me first, “Is that why you cut your hand because you know that?” I couldn’t stop my

tears.

Song Shen reached over and wiped the tears from my eyes.

Soon warm tears welled up and dripped in his palm.

He simply hugged me and pressed my face against his chest.

Tears, drop by drop, wet his shirt.

I heard him breathing a little faster, and then he said, “I wanted to tell you later.”

That would be an admission.

Narco. That’s narco.

It is a defense line, a monument, and a new Great Wall built by flesh and blood.

Also.. A profession that walks between blood and fire and rubs shoulders with death at any time.

I held his waist tightly and cried until I couldn’t breathe.

He asked me in a low voice, “Xiaoxiao, do you have anything to say to me?”

I can’t speak.

I suddenly thought of his parents buried in the cemetery of martyrs. Does the absence of children’s names on

the tombstone mean some kind of protection?

I remembered that not long after I met him, he said that if there was no accident, he would never fall in love, get married and have children in his life.

And Uncle yuan said that Song Shen had never intended to have in-depth contact with people, and I was an exception. The details that

have been forgotten are gradually connected.

I think I know that this is what he has always wanted. They are

not ordinary policemen, but special policemen who need to give up all social relations.

Therefore, from a very early age, he isolated himself from intimate relationships and set up an ambition that was almost martyrdom.

I was the “accident” that forced my way in.

I am not qualified to ask him to give up such a choice.

A long time ago, we agreed to seize the day. It’s just

day and night.

I choked up and tried to keep my voice down so I could pretend that I wasn’t really that sad.

Song Shen pulled me away a little and looked down at me.

I turned my head to avoid his eyes.

I think I must cry so ugly that I don’t want him to see it.

But he lowered his head and kissed my eyes gently.

I heard him say, “I’m sorry.”

That voice, unexpectedly also seems to be in pain. The

door opened again, and several people were complaining about the heavy rain outside.

Song Shen released me.

I lowered my head and went around him to wash my face in the bathroom. The moment the

door closed, my back slid down the door.

I buried my face in my knees, held my head and cried silently.

At that time, I did not know that outside the door, someone looked at my figure reflected in the glass door and could not move.

I washed my face with one hand, wiped off the moisture, and looked at myself in the mirror.

His eyes and nose were still red, but fortunately he was no longer sobbing.

I patted myself on the cheek and threatened the man in the mirror: Ji Xiaoxiao, don’t cry anymore, Ang, shame Ang! When I came out

of the bathroom, I laughed and said, “It smells good, Chou Hsuan. You’re good at cooking.”

Everyone was so smart that they immediately ignored my red and swollen eyes and praised Zhou Xuan for her good cooking skills.

Zhou Xuan picked up the last dish and passed by me.

He looked like he wanted to say something, but he held back and just reached out and touched my head.

“Happy birthday! Be happy, Xiaoxiao.” She said. Together,

several boys lit candles and folded paper crowns, one for each person, and put them on the heads of Song Shen and me.

I don’t know who pushed me narrowly, and I bumped into Song Shen’s arms.

He put his arm around my shoulder.

Chou Hsuan held up her Polaroid and said, “Come and look at me!”

So he smiled at the camera, and when the flash came on, he had to smile eight teeth.

Today is Song Shen’s 21st birthday.

Then someone shouted, “Two birthday girls, make a wish!” The light in the

living room was turned off.

Only the candlelight flickered.

I opened my eyes to look at him secretly. His eyes were closed, and his eyelashes were cast a thin shadow by the candlelight.

He folded his fingers and made a wish very seriously.

I vaguely remember him saying before that he didn’t believe in these things.

So I closed my eyes, too.

God, God, if you could really hear me.

So, my 19th birthday wish is to keep him safe.

I want Song Shen to be safe.

Song Shen went to Yunnan. Before

I left, I cancelled all the contact information. All the information about him on the

Internet was erased.

I even wondered if he would change his name when he arrived in Yunnan? Before

leaving Beijing, Song Shen asked me to meet him. There was a faint blackness under

his eyes, as if he had not rested well. I hadn’t seen him for

a few weeks, and I couldn’t even blink. When I was distracted, I suddenly heard him say, “Xiaoxiao, let’s break up.” Before

I came here, I did psychological construction, and I couldn’t cry even if I thought about it.

But as soon as he spoke, I couldn’t hold back, and my nose was sour.

Song Shen stood under the shadow of the tree, his fingers gradually tightening, but he did not come to hug me.

“My job is very dangerous, and people around me could face retaliation because of me.” His voice was a little tired. “Xiaoxiao, I hope you are safe.”

Tears flowed down at once.

I said, “You don’t have to contact me, really.”. You just tell me once a year to let me know you’re still alive. Is that all right?

He choked up so much that he could hardly speak.

I looked at him imploringly. “Is that all right?”

But see Song Shen slanted his head, his eyes were red.

For a moment, it was like a heavy hammer hitting my heart, and my chest was so painful that it almost cracked.

It is a thousand times more painful to see the tears of the one you love than to see your own tears. Trembling,

I took out a tissue and stood on tiptoe to wipe away his tears. It was

probably the last time I touched it again, and my hands were shaking badly.

I rolled the tissue into a ball, stepped back, and tried to smile. “It doesn’t matter. It’s okay not to contact at all. It’s okay to break up.”. Don’t be sad, Sung Shen.

As long as you don’t feel bad.

He closed his eyes heavily and said in a hoarse voice, “I’m sorry, Xiao Xiao.”

I actually held back my tears and said with a smile, “How could it be?”? Song Shen, do you remember what I said when we first got together? I only seize the day. You’ve given me a lot of days, and I’ve already made a lot of money.

Song Shen looked at me, and his dark eyes were filled with emotions, but they were all pressed down, like a frozen sea.

I grinned and waved goodbye to him. “Take care, Sung Shen.”. Don’t think about me anymore. I won’t think about you anymore anyway, ha ha.

The birds chirp and the wind shakes the leaves.

Sporadic passers-by passed by us and looked at us curiously.

Song Shen was silent and motionless.

I’ll take a closer look at him last.

Thin and tall boys, like to wear dark clothes, arms are very strong, but fingertips are very gentle.

Song Shen, I have you in my eyes. When I

miss you, I will blink, so that I will never want to see you again.

He never spoke. I laughed and repeated, “Goodbye, Song Shen.”

I turned around first. I walked first.

Leave the handsome figure to him, so that he won’t know how embarrassed I cried at the moment I turned around. After

Song Shen left, I often woke up from my dream.

Dream of those cruel fragments in movies, TV plays and novels. Those who

dream of bleeding and forbearance turn into Song Shen’s face. When I

woke up, I was in a cold sweat and my heart was beating fast. Look at the mobile phone

again. It’s 3:10 in the morning.

Chou Hsuan crawled over the fence, hugged my doll, and said in a low voice, “Are you having another nightmare?”

I wiped my perspiration and fell back. “I dreamed that Sung Shen had an accident and fell into the river with his car.”

Chou Hsuan reached over, touched my cheek, and asked, “Did you tell him that before?”

I stared at the top of the mosquito net and blinked. He’s already under a lot of pressure, and I don’t want to put him on the spot.

Chou Hsuan lay down, curled up next to me, and whispered, “Actually, Sung Shen knows all about it.”

I rolled over and looked at her. “What did he say to you?”

Chou Hsuan seemed to have a guilty conscience and struggled for a long time before saying, “After the birthday party, Sung Shen-yu asked me if letting go would be the best choice for you.” “What did you say?”

I asked.

Chou Hsuan pinched my face and said, “I said it’s impossible. If you let go, you’ll kill Chi Hsiao-hsiao.”

I asked, “How did he react?”

Chou Hsuan smiled. “Don’t you know your man?”? There was no reaction, and he just stood there motionless, not showing his emotions. Who knows what he was thinking?

She took credit again: “Well, what did I say?”? In fact, he couldn’t bear to part with it at all.

I also laughed, laughing and laughing, floating a layer of tears.

To let go is to kill me.

But if I don’t let go, I might really die.

Song Shen, how hard did you suffer at that time?

I did lose all news of Song Shen.

He is like a drop of water, merged into the vast sea, can no longer be salvaged.

I study, do exercises and learn languages as usual.

Chou Hsuan said, “Where did Song Shen go? Song Shen is living on you.”. Take a look in the mirror and see for yourself. The way you brush the questions and do the presentation is exactly the same as him.

I can’t help laughing. Then

she pointed at me and said, “You see, you look so cold when you smile. Isn’t that like a female version of Sung Shen?”

I raised my hand in surrender and asked her not to say any more. I haven’t told Zhou Xuan about the separation

from Song Shen.

She only knew that Song Shen was going to be an anti-drug policeman, but there were many kinds of anti-drug policemen.

She did not know that what Song Shen was going to do was the most dangerous one.

Deep into the enemy’s belly, blood for blood, uprooted.

It was a goal he had set since he was a child, even at the cost of his life.

He always carried the heavy tombstone on his back.

I don’t look at handsome guys anymore, and I don’t fall in love anymore.

No one can compare with Song Shen, how can they compare with him?

I became more and more simple, and the beautiful skirts I bought for Song Shencai were sent home by me. In the

school wardrobe, all the solid color clothes can be worn casually.

Zhou Xuan is right. I live myself as Song Shen.

Because he likes to wear solid colors. After

graduation, I went to Switzerland to study.

There is no trace of my life with Song Shen. Everything is new.

That’s good. Maybe I can get over him earlier.

Don’t dream about him every night. On the evening of

Thanksgiving Day, it snowed in Zurich.

I pushed open the window, and the cold air poured in, which made my mind clear after reading the literature all day. With a

“ding”, the computer indicated that there was a new mail coming in. The content of the

strange sender is also very simple: Happy Thanksgiving.

There was no byline and no extra pleasantries.

It’s like a boring mass email.

I frowned, and when the cursor moved to the “delete” button, I suddenly couldn’t press it. An almost impossible guess came to

my mind.

Could it be.. Will it?

I read the mail again and again, but there was nothing special about it.

But I just have a hunch that it was sent by Song Shen.

I put my forehead against the glass and laughed slowly.

Song Shen, if you sent it, then you are reporting to me that you are safe, right?

Fulfilled the promise that you didn’t promise at the beginning.

Just tell me once a year that you’re still alive. Is that all right?

He didn’t say yes, but he did.

There were tears trickling down the corners of my eyes, but the reflection of the glass told me clearly that I was smiling and smiling happily.

………… During the lunar new year in

China, a Chinese friend invited me to her home for the Spring Festival.

A large family of overseas Chinese are making dumplings in a lively way.

Grandpa was lying in a rocking chair, watching TV and chatting with the younger generation.

The Spring Festival Gala has not started to broadcast, I do not know what channel he tuned to, the TV is playing Hong Kong music nostalgia. The

familiar lyrics sounded, the hand holding the dumpling skin stopped, and I turned around and watched the song playing on TV.

「…… Don’t talk about pain in life, and don’t worry about gathering and parting in a hurry. Do not remember the heroic courage in the storm, let the fame be thrown out of the sword. I walk alone on a thousand mountains, so I don’t have to see you off.

Grandpa was drinking tea, but when he saw me staring at the TV, he laughed and said, “Yes?”? At your age, you should not be familiar with this song.

I said, “That’s a good lyric for a friend of mine.”

Do not talk about pain, lightly throw away fame, a thousand mountains only walk alone.

Grandpa joked, “Oh?”? Then your friend must be a great warrior.

Everyone laughed.

I also laughed and lowered my head to make dumplings. Slowly, tears welled up.

He is more than a hero.

…………

In the first month of the lunar year, Chou Hsuan sent me a message: “Happy New Year, baby!”

I also replied, “Happy New Year and all the best!”

She sighed, “Wow, it’s a second.”. This should be the early morning in your place, right? Capitalist countries are really heartless. How they have exploited our beautiful girls!

I held my cell phone and laughed. When she finished

, she sent over a picture: “I was cleaning up the bookcase two days ago, and I found that I forgot to give you this picture.”

I click on the picture.

It’s a Polaroid photo. On my 19th birthday, Song Shen put his arm around my shoulder and I smiled at the camera with eight teeth.

Song Shen did not look at the camera, but looked down at me.

Her eyes were already red. I asked her, “You took a lot of pictures that day. What about the others?”

Chou Hsuan replied quickly: “Sung Shen asked me to leave. Don’t you know that?”

Tears dropped suddenly on the screen.

I think I may not be able to forget Song Shen.

It seems that the whole world is reminding me not to forget. When I

received the call from Yunnan, I was writing the thanks for my master’s thesis.

Thanks to the tutor, thanks to the school, and even thanks to the kitten at home.

The kitten jumped lazily off my knee, leaving me with an arrogant ass. That’s how

I picked up the phone with a smile.

“Hello, who is this?”

The other side speaks Chinese, my most familiar mother tongue. I can understand every

word, but I can’t understand it together.

“Are you saying that Sung Shen is dead?”

The old voice seemed to choke, and soon returned to normal, asking me if I would like to be Song Shen’s family and take his urn.

“He would probably want you to do it.” He sighed.

I bought a ticket for the latest flight home.

The tutor asked me why I was so anxious to go back. There was only one defense for my thesis. I could go back to China after the end of the thesis, so I didn’t have to go back and forth.

In his office, with tears in my eyes, I said, “Someone very important to me has passed away.” There was a flicker of surprise in

his eyes, and he patted me on the shoulder and said, “Be careful on the way, and take care of yourself.”

The plane landed in Beijing.

Then transfer quickly and arrive in Kunming. Coming out

of the terminal, there are already people waiting.

They were all dressed in civilian clothes, but they were very alert and their eyes were bright. When he

saw me, he politely said, “Miss Chi, this way.”

The car door opened and there was already a man sitting inside. Suddenly,

I feel that the passage of time, the past is vivid in my mind, and it is as clear as yesterday. Uncle

yuan held out his hand to me and said, “Xiao Xiao, I’m sorry to bother you.”

I shook hands with him and my voice was a little hoarse. “Where is he?” Stop

the car. In the courtyard of the

checkpoint, there were already several rows of people waiting.

I saw the national flag at a glance.

And the square box under the flag. Holding the box,

they came to me, step by step, very solemn.

Tears blurred my eyes. I could see nothing but the wooden box. When

they gave it to me, there were tears in their eyes. Trembling,

I took the urn and fell to my knees.

Song Shen, Song Shen.

He was such a tall man that he was packed in this small box.

I held the box tightly and tears welled up in my eyes.

All the muscles were trembling, the whole body was aching, and the bones seemed to be about to crack.

Like a knife into the heart, slowly stirring, sharp pain spread rapidly, throughout the body. I was out of breath

, and I held my forehead against the urn and breathed in a low voice.

Song Shen, you used to come to coax me when I cried, but you will never appear again.

You’ll never show up again.

A policewoman wanted to help me, but Uncle yuan indicated that it was not necessary.

He just crouched in front of me and called my name.

I looked up at him and saw that his hair was all white. Uncle

yuan’s mouth opened and closed, and I couldn’t hear what he said.

I just clung to the box and asked, “Did it hurt when he left?”

Song Shen is a martyr and a hero.

He infiltrated the drug trafficking syndicates on the Sino-Vietnamese border, continuously sent out intelligence, and several times defeated the large-scale drug trade of the drug trafficking syndicates.

At the trading site of the two major groups a month ago, a large number of police gathered and were about to launch an encirclement and suppression campaign, and Song Shen suddenly realized that it was a trap. The

actual location of the transaction is not in the information sent in advance.

Timed explosives have begun to count down, Song Shen has a chance to escape, but he chose to send the last piece of information to his comrades-in-arms.

“Go back.”

But he could never go back himself.

Violent explosions, flames jumped to the sky, and trees within a radius of more than ten meters burned instantly, forming a small-scale mountain fire.

The urn contained only part of the suspected remains.

He didn’t even leave a whole body. Uncle

yuan said, “His sacrifice is valuable.”. Following the trail he left behind, we busted the cartel and arrested a dozen high-level fugitives. One of them was the man who killed his parents many years ago. In the cemetery

of martyrs, Song Shen’s tombstone stands next to his parents.

I squatted down and gently traced his eyebrows and eyes.

This should be a picture of him when he entered the police Academy. It’s not long, and it’s still very green.

But between the eyebrows, there is already a steadiness that is not in line with the age. Under the

camera lens, Song Shen did not smile at all. Separated by a few years, separated by a heavy life and death, and I look at each other in the distance.

“When he brought you to dinner with me, I was surprised because I had never seen him with a girl.” Uncle yuan says, “If you look at his picture, he never liked to smile, but that day, he smiled many times.”

The nose began to sour again.

But the eyes, which had been crying for several days in a row, were so dry that there were no tears.

I was silent and put the ghost money into the fire one by one.

Learn what he looked like years ago.

The ashes were picked up by the wind and fell on his picture.

And he is always young, always cold, fixed into eternity. Uncle

yuan said that after his parents died, Song Shen lived in his home for a period of time.

He asked me if I wanted to go to Song Shen’s room and pack up some things to take away. “What about his own home?”

I asked? The home with Mom and Dad. Uncle

yuan said that the old unit building had been demolished many years ago.

So, Song Shen, you became a homeless person very early, didn’t you? What do you think about

those days of family reunion, when I complain that my parents are too strict?

I can’t even think about it. I’m afraid I’ll go crazy. When

I got to Song Shen’s room, I found that he didn’t have anything special.

The room remained as it had been before he left, as neat as a model room. The

desk was empty, except for a few middle school notebooks on the bookshelf.

I opened the wardrobe, which was also very empty, except for a few school uniforms, leaving only some monochrome clothes. It

‘s like there’s nothing left of him, except for those of us who remember him.

I sat on his bed and imagined Song Shen as a teenager, reading, writing and sleeping in this room.

It felt like the room was filled up immediately, and the corners of the mouth could not help turning up.

But once the curtains opened and the sun shone in, I was the only one left in the room, and a lonely shadow.

I didn’t take anything.

I don’t need to miss people at the sight of things. Song Shen lives in my mind.

As long as I’m alive, he’s never completely gone. When he said goodbye

to Uncle yuan, he hesitated to speak.

I smiled, “I will take care of my health, and you should also take care of yourself.”. I come to see him every year on his birthday. But Uncle

yuan said, “Xiaoxiao, he would like you to live your own life.”

Do

I live my own life?

But my life has been closely intertwined with Song Shen.

I saved my last bit of energy and flew back to Zurich to complete my graduation thesis defense.

I revised the acknowledgement and added Song Shen’s name.

If one day I will die, then I hope his name will not be hidden in the world.

In this way, my name is juxtaposed with his name.

Song Shen, Ji Xiaoxiao.

Once in love, once apart, once dead. After

graduation, I went back to China and rented a house near the company.

During the day, I am an energetic engineer, and at night, I need medicine to sleep.

I lost weight quickly. When

my mother came to Beijing to travel, she was shocked to see me.

Xiaoxiao, do you work so hard? You only have a handful of bones left!

She stayed in Beijing for a few more days to buy food and cook for me, and she wanted to mend my body.

One day when I came home from work, I saw her sitting on the sofa and not watching TV. On

the tea table, there are several medicine bottles.

She asked me, “Tell me, what are these?”

She is a fashionable old lady who makes good use of the Internet and asks knowingly.

I smiled and said, “These are for depression.” “When did it start?”

She asked? Academic pressure? Work under great pressure?

I looked up and tears ran down my throat.

“I fell in love with someone, and then he died, and then I was like this.” I laughed. “I’m sorry, I don’t want to do this either.” For

two years, my depression has not improved.

I don’t celebrate my birthday anymore.

Many years ago, I stood on a pedestrian bridge and was astonished by Sung Shen’s remark that “I won’t celebrate my birthday after I’m seven.”.

Through the distant time, I suddenly understood him at that time.

If your birthday is only a reminder of someone’s death, then even the happiest day is only sad.

When Zhou Xuan came to Beijing on a business trip, she hugged me and cried when she saw me standing.

She thrust the Polaroid at me and choked, “You have to try to live for him, okay?”

I stared at the picture. At the age of

19, I just learned that Song Shen was going to Yunnan and cried bitterly.

At that time, I did not know that there was still hope for life and death, which was complete despair.

Ji Xiaoxiao, you are really a fool.

If I had known today, wouldn’t I have smiled at him more?

Mom and Dad said they hoped I could start a family.

Mother was found to have breast cancer in her physical examination at the beginning of this year.

She said, “I believe you can be financially independent, but I also hope that one day, when you face sudden difficulties in life, you can have a pair of hands around you, just like your father and I did.”

She said, “The dead are dead, but the living continue to live.”. Hsiao-hsiao, just think about it for us, okay? “We are old,”

she said. “We can’t help you with many things. We just want you to live a happy and stable life.”

I promised her that I would accept the blind date.

The first seven ended on bad terms.

Only the eighth one was not unhappy when he heard me say, “I have a person I can’t forget. Maybe in marriage, he will be unfair to you.”.

He just smiled and said, “It doesn’t matter. I have one in my heart, too. We’re even.”

His name is Tanghe.

Later, along with my name, it was printed on the wedding invitation.

30

Zhou Xuan will be my bridesmaid.

She first praised Tanghe for being handsome and gentle, and then said, “Be nice to our Xiaoxiao. There were a lot of people chasing her at school.”

Tanghe smiled and nodded yes. The door of the

dressing room closed, leaving only Tanghe and me.

I asked, “The man in your heart..” “She died in a car accident,”

he said. Suddenly,

I nodded.

He also asked, “So, your one?”

Tears filled my eyes. I smiled and wiped them away. “He was a hero,” I said. “He died for this country.”

Tanghe patted me on the shoulder.

The wedding was very lively, and the master of ceremonies was eloquent, which made the atmosphere of the scene hot.

I took my father’s arm to the stage, and Tanghe stood at the end waiting for me.

Many years ago, I fantasized about swapping rings with someone.

Things have changed. Petals were scattered

all over the sky, but I got stuck in the oath. Looking at Zhou Xuan

under the stage for help, he saw a man sitting in a dark corner. Before

reason could react, tears were already flowing out.

I’m shaking all over.

The master of ceremonies smiled and said, “It seems that our bride is so touched. She must be very happy to marry her beloved.”. Let’s give her a round of applause!

Relatives and friends applauded.

The man lowered his head and smiled, poured the wine, raised his glass to me, and drank it down.

I kept repeating the words: “In this life, I will be loyal to you, no matter whether you live or die, no matter whether you live or die.”

I can’t go on.

That was supposed to be read to him.

Tanghe gently wiped the tears from my face and bowed his head to kiss me. Out of the corner of

my eye, there was no one in that corner.

The master of ceremonies loudly stirred up the atmosphere and encouraged everyone to cheer. In the midst of the noise, the stage seemed quiet.

I looked at the Tang River. “I see him.”

He raised his eyebrows and said, “Your he?”? Are you sure you read it right?

I took a deep breath. “I’m sorry.” But

he laughed. “If my one could come today, I would leave without you.”. Right back at you

Tanghe called the master of ceremonies and whispered a few words to him.

The emcee’s expression was a little confused, but he shortened the process according to his words. More than

ten minutes later, I went out through the side door, took off my dress, took off my stilettos, stepped on a pair of slippers for changing clothes, and rushed out. There is no familiar figure in the

hotel lobby.

I ran to the receptionist and asked, “Did a tall man like that, wearing a hat and black clothes, come in just now?”

Perhaps I spoke too fast, or I dressed up too strangely, they looked at each other and did not speak.

Chou Hsuan ran after me and scolded me in a low voice, “Young lady, what are you doing?”? Today is your wedding. Do you know what a wedding is?

She also wore a bridesmaid’s dress full of tassels.

I told her, “I saw Sung Shen.”

Chou Hsuan looked at me with some helplessness and some tolerance: “Hsiao-hsiao, Sung Shen is already dead. Have you forgotten the urn you brought back with your own hands?”

She reached out to touch my cheek and pulled me back. “Let’s go and toast everyone.”. Don’t drink, and I will help you. You don’t even know that I’ve been drinking better these past few years.

I was dragged back by her and walked to the entrance of the banquet hall. I looked at the corner.

That wine glass, clearly has the traces of passivity.

Tears welled up, and I broke Chou Hsuan’s hand. “It must be Sung Shen.”

Chou Hsuan looked at me, almost to tears: “Hsiao-hsiao, why are you so stubborn?”? He’s dead. He died two years ago. Xiaoxiao, you can’t spend your whole life for him.

I began to tremble again and said with my remaining reason, “You help me tell the guests that I have fainted because of low blood sugar and can’t toast everyone.”. You help me tell Tanghe that I’m sorry for him and that I’ll pay him back another day.

I can’t go on.

I turned around and left. It was

full of excitement and happiness. I don’t know what he was thinking if it was really Song Shen, sitting in that corner, watching me exchange rings and raise my glass to me.

Just like the little boy who lost his parents suddenly in Yunnan more than ten years ago, what was he thinking when he learned that his parents had died.

I can’t imagine. The lady

at the front desk was still the same, and when she saw me appear again, her expression was somewhat inexplicable.

I put my hands on the table and sobbed, “Have you seen a man in black and a hat?”? Very thin, about this tall. Have you seen him?

I looked up with tears still streaming down my face: “Please, do you see him?” The

lady at the front desk quickly handed me a tissue. Another lady hesitated and said, “I see..” Someone beside

her looked at her reproachfully, and she knew she had made a slip of the tongue and stopped talking.

I held her wrist tightly and burst into tears. “Did you see that?”? You tell me where he went, okay? Please, please. Unable to stand,

I slid down the stage, my face covered, and tears came out through my fingers.

The receptionist hurried around to the front and tried to help me up.

I took her hand and said, “He is very important to me. I can’t live without him.”. Tell me, please.

She finally said, “He told us not to say..” Alas, when he went out, he went to the left, and we don’t know where he went.

I stood up on the platform, bowing and bowing to her. “Thank you, thank you.”

He took to his heels.

Left! Left. There is a sidewalk

on the left, a bus stop, and a taxi waiting for passengers. Looking up

, the passers-by were in a hurry, and there was no Song Shen.

I grabbed the owners of the roadside shops and asked them one by one, “Did a man in a black dress and a hat pass by just now?”

There is no answer. The

late autumn wind is so cold that my cheeks are almost broken.

Tears still come up layer upon layer.

But I haven’t found Song Shen yet.

Song Shen has gone, and he won’t come to me again.

At this moment, the idea came to my mind inexplicably, but it was so sure.

Yes, according to Song Shen’s character, when he sees me get married, he won’t bother me again.

My chest was suddenly blocked. I sat down holding the street lamp and gasped for breath. In the

midst of Venus, I think of a man. With trembling

fingers, dial the phone.

“Uncle yuan,” I said, “is Song Shen back?”

I finally walked to this remote guesthouse.

All the way, I was calling the phone that Uncle yuan left me.

But I couldn’t get through. He turned off his phone.

The landlady was sweeping up the fallen leaves when she saw me and asked with a smile, “Are you staying?” “Is there a man living here?”

I asked hoarsely? Today I’m wearing black clothes and a black hat. “Are you his friend?”

She asked.

Tears welled up again, and I said, “Can you tell me which room he lives in?”

The landlady frowned. “I can’t tell you that. Contact yourself.” Shivering,

I scanned the QR Code on her desk with my cell phone. “I’ll give you money. How much do you want to tell me?”? Is a thousand yuan enough? Two thousand?

I flashed the screen of successful payment to her and looked at her with sobs: “Can you tell me..” Which room does he live in?

The landlady was so frightened that she slowly moved back and looked at me with the eyes of a madman. In the mirror

beside me, I saw myself.

Late autumn season, but wearing short sleeves and open-toed slippers, the original beautiful bridal makeup was tears paste into a piece, really like a mentally disturbed woman.

I smiled, stepped back, sat down at the door of the guesthouse, and continued to make that call over and over again.

Song Shen, answer it, answer it.

But the mechanical tone continued to say: “The number you dialed is power off, please dial again later …”

I buried my head in my lap, and slowly, I felt I couldn’t breathe again.

Suddenly a dog barked, and the white one, as if seeing an intruder, rushed up in my direction.

The proprietress hurriedly cursed, “Get rich! Go away! Go away!”

I stood up against the wall to hide, but my feet were numb and I fell back to the original place.

I took my hands to protect my head, and my heart was about to stop.

The next second, he was picked up by someone.

The big dog, who had just growled angrily, suddenly became clever and rubbed around his calf.

He looked down at me, and there were thousands of emotions in his eyes, but they were all suppressed.

Song Shen. Trembling,

I reached out to touch his face.

Warm skin, not a hallucination.

He held me in his arms and walked all the way inside. He passed by the landlady and nodded to her. “This is my friend.” The

door opened and closed, and he laid me gently on the sofa. It was almost dark in

his room. He reached out and turned on the light. Then he took out a coat from his suitcase and handed it to me.

“Put it on, or you’ll catch cold.”

I grabbed my coat and threw it aside.

Then he went over and hugged him tightly. There

seemed to be endless tears, one by one, dripping on his chest.

He froze. I couldn’t say

a word, but I knew to hold him tighter.

He did not disappear, he was not engulfed by the fire, he did not lie in that little box.

Song Shen, my Song Shen, he is really in my arms.

I do not know how long, Song Shen suddenly pushed me away, the action is light and resolute.

His eyes were a little red, but he smiled and said, “Happy wedding, Xiao Xiao.”

He wrung out a hot towel and gently wiped the mess of tears from my face.

I held his wrist tightly, turned it over, and looked at the light. There are several scars

on it.

Song Shen choked for a moment.

I stood up and reached out to peel off his clothes. Only two buttons of his shirt were unbuttoned, and I could see the scars on his collarbone and shoulder.

Tears came out again.

I continued to unbutton, but he held me down.

I shook off his hand and shivered to untie it.

Then they heard him say, “Look no more.”

Indescribable sour from the bottom of my heart has been spread to the eyes, I regardless of the ground to jump up, tiptoe, to find his lips.

Come on, kiss it.

Song Shen suddenly opened his eyes wide.

He tried to push me away, but I wouldn’t let him.

They tripped over something and fell on the bed together. The moment he

fell down, he was still protecting my head for fear that I would hit him.

I pulled his wrist away and bowed my head to kiss him.

Soft and warm, Song Shen in my memory is by my side now.

I do not know how long, slowly, he began to respond to me.

The overhead light fell on his obsidian eyes, like a flicker of fire.

He covered my eyes with his hand and kissed me more deeply.

Years of separation, heartbreak and even despair are all melted in hot hugs and kisses.

Tears slowly flow down from the corner of the eye, the original happy time, people will shed tears.

I rubbed his neck and lifted the hem of his coat.

I felt a lot of scars.

He froze.

The next second, Song Shen released me and sat up.

His chest was still heaving with emotion, but he reached out and slapped himself hard.

“Xiao Xiao,” he said in a hoarse voice, “I’ll take you back. Today is your wedding.”

35

, the mobile phone rings.

I’ll pick it up.

It’s the Tang River.

Sung Shen looked over and smiled. “Is that your husband?”

I didn’t speak and pressed the loudspeaker button.

Tanghe’s relaxed voice came out: “Ms. Ji, have you found your one?”

Song Shen’s face had a slight change.

I said, “Yes, he is with me.”

“You’re much luckier than I am, really.”

I was silent and said, “I’m sorry, today …” Thank you for your trouble.

He said, “It’s no trouble. At most, it’s a bit humiliating. People think I’ve been put on a show by the bride.”. Ha ha ha, I have a good reason to divorce you.

Feeling the mist of tears coming up, I choked up and smiled: “Well, I will return all the cash gifts to you, and I will give you a sum of compensation. I’m sorry.”

Tang He laughed exaggeratedly. “We almost became husband and wife anyway. Would you like to be so polite?”? Forget the compensation. I said that if the one who is mine came back today, I would leave without you. The paper towel in

my hand was about to crumble, and I struggled again and again, but still I could only say, “I’m sorry.”

He hung up the phone.

Song Shen sat beside him and listened to the whole process.

I asked him, “Do you want to send me back now?”

He lowered his head and did not speak.

I wanted to shed tears again and hit him on the shoulder with one punch.

You send me back, and you watch me marry someone else! You’re always like this. You make a decision that’s good for everyone and put yourself in the last place. Have you ever asked me what choice I want to make?

He just sat still and let me beat him.

I suddenly could not stand, squatted down, looked up at his eyes, tears streaming down my face.

Sung Shen, if I hadn’t seen you today, we’d be finished. Do you know “I thought you were happy,”

he finally said.

Happy? Will I be happy if I leave you behind and get married with another man?

I held his hand and pressed it to my chest. “Don’t you know how much I love you?”? Song Shen.

He shook his head, reached out and pulled me up, then hugged me hard, as if to rub me into the bone and blood.

36

My parents’ phone also came back. The voice of Zhou Xuan trying to make peace could still be heard

over there.

However, the mother was still very angry: “Ji Xiaoxiao, you are really too impolite. Do you imitate others to run away from marriage?”? You can do it too!

I said, “Mom, he’s back.” The anger

over there suddenly stopped, and the mother hesitated and asked, “Him?”? The cop who died?

…………

That day, in the narrow guesthouse room, Song Shen asked me if I had thought it over. How

else to think about it? I’ve lost him for so many years, and every day, I dream of going to him. As

he lived, so he died.

With tears in my eyes, I smiled, “I don’t want the morning and evening anymore. I want your whole life, okay?”

He stood by the window, his back to me, like a silent shadow, as if he would merge with the night at any time and disappear again.

I suddenly felt a little scared and clung to him from behind. “I don’t want to be separated from you anymore,” I sobbed.

I heard a sigh.

Song Shen turned around, covered my eyes, and kissed me deeply.

How strange ah, I obviously refrained from crying, but why, my face is wet?

That day, Song Shen said that the rest of the matter was left to him, and he would handle it.

So Uncle yuan flew to Beijing from Yunnan.

He did not use a lot of battle, but my parents looked at the two plainclothes standing still at the door, still looking a little uncomfortable.

I don’t know what Uncle yuan said to my parents, but when I came out of the study, my mother actually hugged me and cried.

His father patted Sung Shen on the shoulder and said, “You will be fine in the future.”

I never asked him how he came back two years after his death.

Uncle yuan vaguely mentioned a few words, saying that Song Shen designed another drug dealer to become the so-called undercover agent of the police.

In the explosion that burned all the evil, he escaped, but also lost contact with the upper line. In the past

two years, he suffered too much, was suspected, suspected, endured and hibernated, and finally found the flaw, captured and killed the leader, and returned to the territory. With a few

words, there are countless soul-stirring behind it.

History will not record, news will not report, but the motherland will remember.

He and his comrades-in-arms are shields living in the dark, shields of silence.

…………

The Yunnan Provincial Department handed over to the Jiangsu Provincial Department, and Song Shen stayed in Nanjing to work.

This is a kind of protection for him.

I resigned and went to Nanjing with him. When I didn’t find a job for the

time being, I clung to him every day.

During the night I had nightmares and woke up screaming and covered in sweat.

Song Shen turned on the night light, reached out and hugged me. He didn’t ask anything. He just bowed his head and kissed my forehead.

I hugged him tightly, skin to skin, breath to breath.

He’s breathing, he’s got a heartbeat, he’s right next to me, not an empty illusion. His

fingers rubbed against his arm.

I want to have him completely, completely, with him.

He froze and held my fingers.

I begged in a low voice, “Sung Shen..” Put

your face against his shoulder socket and kiss him slowly.

From the scar on his collarbone, he kissed every wound.

He gathered up his skirt. “It’s ugly.”

I rubbed my tears on the quilt, then looked up at him and smiled, “It’s not ugly, it’s your medal.”

Those scars, those darkness, those traces carved by the years are not beautiful. It

‘s all your medals.

His fingers touched the long and deep scar on his ribs, and a little warmth passed. How did these scars come about

in a scene I could neither see nor imagine?

I don’t want to ask, and I don’t want him to remember.

I just want him to know that no matter what he becomes, he is my baby.

It was, it is, and it will be.

The last kiss, the breath was already confused, and the lips were pressed against his lips.

Song Shen pushed me away a little, as if he were patient.

He looked at me, his eyes shining like jewels. “Are you sure?”

I nodded affirmatively and told him, “Song Shen, I love you.” The

position suddenly changed, and he looked down at me.

Those dark eyes seem to hide the deep sea, I look into it, sink into it, unable to extricate myself.

Song Shen kissed down.

The sea is surging, and the boat is difficult to cross. In

the end, I put my arms around his neck and whispered, “Song Shen, I love you so much.”

He kisses my forehead, and his voice is hoarse. “Me too.” When I

woke up, I had been changed into a nightdress, and there was no one beside the pillow.

I suddenly thought of the last fragment of yesterday, Song Shen hugged me to take a bath. Blush with

some hindsight.

I got out of bed, walked slowly to the living room, and saw Song Shen cooking noodles in the kitchen. When he

heard the noise, he looked back at me and smiled, “Are you awake?”? Go and wash up. It will be ready soon.

I said, “Oh,” and instead of walking away, I reached out and hugged him around the waist.

His forehead rubbed against his back, just trying to hug him, that’s all.

Song Shen put down the spoon and squeezed my hand.

“I’m right here. I’m not going anywhere.” He told me, then bowed his head and kissed the top of my hair.

When I finished washing, he brought up two bowls of noodles, one of which was mine, Sautéed Shredded Pork in Sweet Bean Sauce toppings.

One bowl was his, with only green vegetables and a few oil flowers. I

didn’t even think about it. I put my hands on the two bowls and said, “You’ve lost a lot of weight. You should eat more meat and get fat slowly.”

Song Shen pursed his lips and said, “Hsiao-hsiao, I don’t eat meat anymore.”

I was stunned, and the literature on post-traumatic stress disorder that I had read and browsed crazily because of his return came back to my mind for a moment.

I quickly changed the bowl and took a big mouthful of noodles. “I’ll eat it, and I’ll gain some weight, too.”

Song Shen put down his chopsticks.

He said slowly, “I have a lot of physical and mental problems.”. I can’t hear screaming, I can’t drive, I can’t eat meat, I’ve had multiple fractures, I’ve had knee injuries, and I may not be able to walk in the future, and I’ve had eye injuries, and the risk of blindness is many times higher than average person.

I didn’t dare to look at him. I buried my head and gobbled it down. Tears fell into the bowl. I

heard him say, “I am not a healthy person, so Xiaoxiao, you can leave me at any time.”. I promise that no one will interfere with your choice.

I looked at him and he smiled.

He was very serious about giving me the right to leave him at any time without any moral or even legal responsibility.

I also put down my chopsticks and said, “I’ll get the license tomorrow.”

Sung Shen’s expression was somewhat stunned: “What?”

I said, “The cooling-off period for divorce has passed, and Tanghe and I have got our divorce certificate.”. The law doesn’t say that a newly divorced woman can’t get married right away, does it? Or do you not want to marry me?

He looked at me in silence.

I put my bowl and used pot into the sink, boiled the water to the maximum, squeezed the detergent, and wiped off the oil stains vigorously.

To calm yourself down.

I sat back opposite him.

I can drive, and I can push your wheelchair in the future. I will be your eyes when you are blind. It doesn’t matter if you scream. I’ll cover your ears. It doesn’t matter if you don’t eat meat. There’s more than one way to get protein.

Because I was a little annoyed, I spoke a little fast, and at the end, I finally slowed down and looked at him. Everything

you say can be solved. This is not a reason for separation. I will not be separated from you, and I hope you can stand with me to face the difficulties together. Instead of pushing me to the other side of security and stability and bearing all on my own.

Song Shen came over and took my hand.

I broke his hand and stared at him with tears in my eyes. “If you say something like that again, I will really be angry.”

He leaned over and hugged me, his voice almost sighing, “I won’t.”. Xiaoxiao, I love you.

In the days when he was waiting for the formalities and I was waiting for the offer, we went to get the marriage certificate.

Along the way, the corners of my mouth were so warped that I couldn’t press them down. The little sister who

knocked on the seal laughed and looked at Sung Shen: “Your wife really loves you.”

Sung Shen smiles: “Yes, I am very lucky.” After

walking out of the Bureau of Civil Affairs, I tugged at his sleeve and whispered, “Lucky me.”

Fortunately, such a silent man like the deep sea allowed me to enter his life.

It is the season of Gardenia Blossom, and there is an old lady carrying a basket full of flowers to sell.

Song Shen paid the money, bought a string, and wrapped it around my wrist.

There are flowers all over the body.

I wondered, “Why are you so skilled at making bracelets for people?” “Did you ever like anyone else during those years apart?” He asked, bum

ping into his shoulder.

Sung Shen said casually, No. I had a very boring time, and I imagined making things up for you to pass the time.

Chest do not know what filled the taste, I can not speak, just try to smile.

He bent down, broke off a piece of dog’s tail grass, his fingers were very sensitive, and he made a ring for me.

Then he held my hand and put it on the ring finger of my left hand.

“You are my man.” He said.

I kept nodding.

Sung Shen smiled and shaved my nose. “Mrs. Sung, are you too easy to feed?”

He drew a small box from his trouser pocket.

Open it. Inside is a diamond ring.

I covered my mouth.

I used to think that the mode of expressing surprise by the heroine of the idol drama was too pompous, but when it came to me, I realized that I really wanted to shout, so I would subconsciously cover my mouth.

Song Shen took off the grass ring and put on the diamond ring.

Not too big, not too small, just right.

I looked and looked and looked at the light, and I couldn’t get enough of it.

Song Shen has been beside me, smiling at me. It took

me a long time to remember, “How did you know my size so accurately?”

He said, “I measured it secretly at night while you were sleeping.”

I can’t imagine him tiptoeing out of bed and looking for a tape measure to measure my fingers.

This is Song Shen, this is Song Shen!

I stamped my foot and said, “I didn’t get you a ring!”

Sung Shen could not help laughing: “I don’t care.”

How can it be okay? I want to give you all the best things in the world.

I dragged him to the gold shop.

The shopping guide learned that we just got a marriage certificate today and said she would give us a discount.

“You two are a good match.” She said so.

Sung Shen nodded his head, and I smiled and said, “Thank you. I feel the same way.” “How long have you known each other?” Asked the

shopping guide, his eyes arched with laughter.

“My boyfriend and I are also planning to get married, but we are worried that it will be too soon.” How long have

we known each other? At the age of

18, I met him at the subway entrance. At the age of 19, I spent my birthday with him. At the age of 22, I received his mail in a foreign country. At the age of 24, I lost him.

Holding his hand can not help but tighten, only in this way can I be sure that at the age of 26, he came back to me.

The shopping guide is still waiting with a smile. “Eight years, six months and three days,

” Sung replied.

There are zero and whole, so accurate.

I couldn’t help looking at him, and he looked at me, and then he reached out and touched my cheek.

The guide smiled at me and said, “Miss, your husband loves you very much.” With tears in my

eyes, I smiled and said, “Yes, I am so lucky.”

I sent the photo of holding hands with Song Shen to Zhou Xuan.

Of course, the focus is on the ring on the ring finger. Sure enough

, Chou Hsuan exploded: “Ji Hsiao-hsiao!”! Look at you showing off! Will you stop showing off your love in front of the single dog?! A

few seconds later, she sent another message: “Mom, I want to cry when I see you happy.”

Soon, she withdrew the message. A new message

came: “Xiaoxiao, be happy.”

My best friend, how can I not understand her heart?

She doesn’t want to remind me of the past, and I don’t want to recall the pain and suffering.

She wants my future to be happy and complete. The chat

with Zhou Xuan reminded me of another thing, so I ran to the study to find Song Shen.

“Where are the photos?”

Sung Shen was using the computer when he pulled me into his lap and said, “What picture?” He had

probably just drunk water, and his lips were stained with water, which looked very seductive.

And now this distance. It’s dangerous. I can kiss him

as soon as I look up.

Of course, I did.

They are both legally married. If they don’t kiss, they will not kiss, right.

Song Shen held my waist and made me sit more comfortably.

But in fact, it was a siege that took all my breath away. When

he left me, I had forgotten why I went into the study in the first place.

He looked at me with some amusement. “You mean picture.”

I patted my head. “Did you ask Chou Hsuan for some Polaroid photos?”? I asked her for it, and she said she would give you the rest.

He helped me to my feet and took out an old wallet from the bookcase.

Open, inside is our group photo, and Zhou Xuan took my photo alone. Flip

again, unexpectedly turned out a note.

Song Shen’s face changed slightly and he stretched out his hand to grab it.

He rarely had such a big reaction, I was more curious, took the note and ran to the living room, running and watching. The

pace slowed down and finally stopped. On

the note, in his college handwriting, he wrote: If one day I die unfortunately, please burn these photos to me. Song Shen.

I handed him back the note and the wallet.

Sung Shen took it, with an embarrassed expression on his face: Before going undercover, I’ll be asked to write a suicide note. I don’t have any last words to leave, just..

His words stopped because I hugged him tightly.

He paused for a moment, then reached out and hugged me, stroking my long hair again and again. “I’m sorry, Xiaoxiao.”

I’m pregnant.

We did not deliberately use contraception, and this result can be said to be natural.

Only in the bathroom, when I saw the results of the pregnancy test, my heart was still full of fireworks.

I have Song Shen’s child.

It’s incredible.

Song Shen was sorting out the documents in the study. I pushed the door and went in.

He looked up, saw me, and asked with a smile, “What would you like to eat tonight?”? Hot pot? Stir-fry?

I asked him, “Are there any taboos for pregnant women?”

He thought about it carefully and said, “You can’t smoke or drink.”? There should be no other taboos. From a medical point of view, a normal diet is OK.

I looked at him and smiled and smiled and smiled.

He suddenly realized something and stopped in the middle of his speech.

Surprised, incredulous, he gently put his hand on my lower abdomen.

“Here?”

I handed him the pregnancy test. “Congratulations, Sung Shen, you’re going to be a father.”

For a moment, he wanted to pick me up, perhaps because the baby was not as big as a soybean, he stopped.

Then I saw him walking around the study.

I was dazzled and couldn’t help laughing. “Can you take a break?”

He sat down beside me, put his fingers in my long hair, held my head gently, and then bowed his head and kissed me. Grind each other’s

ears and temples.

Gradually, from sitting to lying, I nestled in the soft sofa and looked at him with my eyes open. It seems that

I seldom open my eyes at such a time, so I am a little surprised.

“So your ears turn pink.” After a moment’s silence,

he said, “You turn pink easily, too, not just in your ears.”

Some fragments were magnified infinitely in my mind, and my face was burning red.

He habitually wanted to find something to cover his face, but the pillow was thrown to the ground.

Finally he had to bury himself in his shoulder socket and said in a muffled voice, “Song Shen, you seem to have learned to be bad.” I

used to molest him.

Song Shen imitated me and lowered his voice, telling me, “I used to have scruples, but now I don’t.”

I felt something like, “So?”

He laughed, “So it will be worse in the future.”

Song Shen began to work normally.

On Saturday, when we both had a rest, he accompanied me to the antenatal examination. In

the four-dimensional color Doppler ultrasound image, the baby kicks his legs lazily and does not cooperate very much.

Song Shen looked intently at the blurred image on the screen, looking more seriously than I did.

The doctor put away the probe and smiled. “The baby is healthy.”

He also told Sung Shen: “Now, when you are seven months old, it may be more difficult to sleep, and you need to take more care of the pregnant woman’s mood. Pregnancy is not an easy thing.”

Song Shen nodded, looking as if he was going to memorize the doctor’s words.

I couldn’t help smiling.

The years are amazing, aren’t they? When I

first met Song Shen, how could I think that the boy with a cold expression would stand with me in the obstetrics clinic one day and learn how to be a qualified father. Coming out

of the hospital and passing by the cinema, he suddenly asked me, “Would you like to go to the cinema?”

I quickly went to the cinema to read the information: “But recently all the movies are action movies, ah, let’s go to see this, love movies.”

Action movies inevitably have fighting, and I don’t want him to see it.

He said, “I can see whatever you want.”

Following his gaze, it was a pair of bouncing lovers.

He said flatly, “It seems that I haven’t accompanied you to the cinema for a long time, doing what a normal couple should do.”

I smiled and shook his hand. “Song Shen, are you trying to make up for the years you were away from me?”

He didn’t speak, which was a tacit acceptance.

I put my head on his shoulder and smiled again and again. “I don’t have to do anything special. As long as you’re here, I’m happy.” It was evening when the performance was

over. It

‘s not a very interesting movie, and I was sleepy when I saw the second half. When

Song Shen woke me up, the people in the cinema were almost gone, and only a few were left, waiting for the eggs.

Reflected on the screen, his eyes seemed to shine and he was looking at me with interest.

I coughed and said, “It’s your child who wants to sleep, not me.”

Sung Shen chuckled. “Well, it’s all the baby’s fault.”

He slowly helped me up and walked out slowly, ready to take a taxi.

Xinjiekou is very busy, passing by an old lady with gray hair and wearing a cheongsam, who is in good spirits and has a unique temperament.

I tugged at Sung Shen’s sleeve and motioned for him to look over. “I’ll wear it like this when I’m old.”

He thought for a moment and then smiled. “So am I not going anywhere?”

I asked, “Why?” With a straight face,

he said, “My wife is so good-looking that I’m afraid other old men will rob me.”

I laughed and tried to speak, but suddenly I was interrupted by a noise. The window of

a building, I do not know when to hang a child, dragging the window frame, tottering.

Song Shen also looked over.

The next second, he strode past-

at the same moment, the child was completely out of force, from the window frame junction, hard to fall.

I covered my heart.

Fortunately, fortunately, Song Shen caught it. The

crying child had been taken over by others, and Song Shen pressed his arm with a painful expression.

I quickly hit 120, holding the waist ran over and asked him: “How are you?”? Where did it hurt? Is it serious?

He relaxed his brows and comforted me by saying, “It’s all right. I took off my strength in the middle of the journey. It didn’t hurt very much.”

Lying. How can it be okay to fall

from such a high place? It’s not like I haven’t studied physics. Some people

around were taking videos with their cell phones, muttering: “Shit, in Xinjiekou, this child fell down at once, parents still have to pay attention..”

I hurriedly blocked Sung Shen’s face and shouted, “Stop taking pictures!”! Don’t take any pictures!

Sung Shen responded by lowering the brim of his hat and patting me soothingly on the back of my hand. “It’s all right. Let’s go.”

Without waiting for the ambulance, we left the scene in a hurry and walked to the emergency room.

Along the way, I was a little restless.

Worry about his arm. Worry about the video.

When Sung Shen was in a plaster cast by the doctor, he was distracted and comforted me: “It doesn’t matter, Xiaoxiao.”. It’s so far away, and I’m wearing a hat, so the chances of seeing my face clearly are very low. Don’t worry, okay?

44

backfired.

That day, Zhou Xuan sent me a video. In the

video, the little boy is teetering and a man dressed in black runs to pick him up. At the moment of

falling, the little boy’s hand hit the brim of the man’s hat askew, revealing his face.

………… The voice of the

video continues: “Catch it quickly, accurately and ruthlessly. What is an ordinary hero?”? This is an ordinary hero!

The video has more than 100,000 likes, and I can’t figure out how many views it will have and how many people will see it. The

comments section is full of praise, but I see my hands and feet are cold and my chest is stuffy.

My mind gushed out all kinds of messy imagination, I wanted to call Song Shen, but my throat could not make a sound.

The mobile phone slipped from his hand and hit the ground with a clang.

Song Shen came out of the study, followed the sound, and found something wrong with me.

He half squatted down and asked worriedly, “Xiaoxiao?”? Is there anything wrong with it?

His hand took mine, and it was warm and fresh. At the end of the

video, the loop begins again, and the excited voices of passers-by ring out: “That kid is going to fall.”

Song Shen picks up his cell phone, glances at it, and immediately understands what’s going on. He pats the back of my hand: “It’s going to be all right. Trust me, I’ll handle it.” Then

he got up and went to the balcony to make a phone call.

I kept my fingers locked and refreshed the video again and again.

When Song Shen came back, he took my hand and said, “Xiaoxiao, don’t look at it. It will be deleted.”

Tears seemed to block my throat. I couldn’t speak. I just broke his hand, lowered my head and continued to slide my fingers. Brush

again, brush again.

I don’t know how long it took to refresh, but it finally shows “This video has been deleted, please go back to the home page to watch more wonderful videos”.

I’m relieved.

Song Shen slowly hugged me from behind and completely enveloped me.

His temperature, his heartbeat, his breath.

I heard his voice again, with pain: “I’m sorry, Xiao Xiao.”

I gently rubbed the back of his hand. “Don’t say sorry, Sung Shen.” It’s not your fault to save people

without hesitation. It’s not your fault you went

undercover.

You are a good man, a very good and kind man.

Even if the whole world should say sorry, it should not be you.

I turned and held his face. When

the sun shone in, I could see clearly that there was some wetness on his long and warped eyelashes. As the

due date approached, we went to the hospital for our last check-up.

The doctor smiled and said that the baby was very healthy, and that the baby did not like to move, and that he must be slow in the future.

I laughed too: “Slow and good, like my father, calm.”

Song Shen’s expression seemed to be somewhat regretful.

The doctor joked with him, “What’s the matter? Don’t you like it?”

Sung Shen smiled and said, “It would be better if you were like my wife.”

The doctor laughed and joked, “Then if you work harder and have more babies, there will always be one who looks like your mother.”

He had always ignored these jokes, but now he nodded earnestly and approvingly: “If my wife wants to, she can.”

I blushed a little, and after thanking the doctor, I took Song Shen’s hand and walked out.

He’s trying to get over it. After I got pregnant, he stopped letting me drive.

The car merged into the main road and stopped at the traffic lights.

I turned to look at him.

The years were very tolerant of him. He was two years older than me, but he was as young and handsome as when I first met him.

Sung Shen noticed my gaze and said quietly, “What’s the matter?”

I grinned and said, “Handsome boy, can you give me some contact information?”

He said to me, “No, I already have a family.”

Just a simple conversation, but I can not help laughing, leaning against the seat, feel warm all over.

If Chou Hsuan had been here, she would have shouted, “Chi Hsiao-hsiao, are you too easy to coax?”

But no way, Song Shen casually said anything, I am very happy.

It’s like, I was born to love him.

The red light turns green and the vehicle continues to move forward.

In front of them, as if there had been a traffic accident, two cars were close together, and the owner was smoking on the sidewalk.

Probably waiting for the traffic police? I

didn’t think much about it. I pointed to the right and said, “Is it possible to turn around?”? That road can also be taken. “

The change happened at this time.”. There were

several shots, and before I knew it, I found that the front windshield was broken.

Song Shen’s face was cold, his hands were holding the steering wheel, and his veins were bulging.

He slanted his head and said, “Sit tight.” Then the car turned sharply and the engine roared.

I grabbed the handrail, looked out of the window in a panic, and saw that the two smoking car owners had thrown away their cigarettes and held guns in their hands.

This is a downtown area, and someone is shooting. There

was a lot of noise and screaming, and the crowd ran away. Someone could be heard crying, “Hey, police, someone’s shooting here!” I

don’t know why, but I’m sure that these two men are coming for Song Shen. Trembling all over,

I took out my cell phone from my bag and called Uncle yuan.

Beep-beep-beep-

just a few seconds, as long as a century.

As soon as one of them stepped into the car, the car, which looked badly scratched, started immediately and followed our route to catch up.

The other stood still, squinting and raising his gun. Uncle

yuan’s voice finally came: “Hello, Xiaoxiao?”

The mobile phone has been dropped.

I jumped on it and hugged Song Shen.

Bang-the

bullet went through my back, the pain was surging, the lower abdomen had an indescribable sense of falling, and I gasped for breath.

Pain flooded everything, I want to close my eyes, but I can’t close them, big tears fall down, my heart is warm for a moment, and it becomes cold for a moment.

Song Shen hugged me tightly, and I saw blood on his neck.

I tried to see him, but fortunately, there was no wound on his body, just my blood.

He bandaged my shoulder with his clothes. I had never seen him so flustered. His hands were shaking. A

steady stream of blood poured out and soaked his fingertips.

There was another roar of traffic, and then the rear of the car was hit, and the whole car skidded forward, making a violent and harsh friction. A

series of impacts, like they’re going to kill us.

Sung Shen reached out his hand and touched my face. “Xiaoxiao, wait for me when I come back. Be sure to wait for me.”

He let go of my hand, and his expression became grim for a moment. He took out a gun from the back of his waist and clanged open the car door.

I threw my head back on the copilot, and the sharp pain spread from my back to my whole body, as if a knife had cut me open, from top to bottom, like Ling Chi.

Bang, bang, bang, bang, the world seemed to be quiet.

Then there was the sound of a siren. In the cell phone that had

fallen to the ground, Uncle yuan kept asking, “Xiao Xiao?”? Xiao Xiao? What’s the matter with you? What’s the matter?

I was unable to answer.

The whole body is very cold, the lower abdomen has the pain unceasingly, before the eyes flashes the white light. I can’t see

anything. I’m so cold.

…………

Woke up in an ambulance.

My mouth and nose were wearing an oxygen mask, Song Shen was covered in blood, kneeling beside me, holding my hands, his face was frighteningly white.

Fortunately, he seems to be all right.

I blinked, only to find that I could not speak at all, my whole body was in pain, and my bones seemed to be crushed inch by inch.

“Don’t die, Xiao Xiao, please don’t die.” He trembled and pressed his cheek against mine.

My face felt a little warm, and I struggled to see.

It turned out to be Song Shen’s tears.

It dripped on my face, but it seemed to hit my heart. The pain in my

back and even in my lower abdomen was not painful at once. I trembled and wanted to raise my hand and tell him not to cry. I can’t

lift it, and I can’t speak.

God, I just want to talk to him. Can’t you do that?

God, I’m so tired, so cold, no, I don’t want to close my eyes, let me talk to him.

Some instrument made a sharp sound, and doctors and nurses gathered around it.

Song Shen kept whispering in my ear, “Don’t sleep, Xiao Xiao, don’t sleep.”

I shook my head with difficulty, and my fingers finally reached his cheek.

He trembled and pressed my finger to his face, and his voice trembled.

Don’t go to sleep. Shall I tell you a story? Once the boss suspected that there was a mole among us and left us in the mountains to fend for ourselves. At that time, I was shot in the leg by a stray bullet. A wolf smelled it at night. I couldn’t run away. I wanted to give up. In my hallucination, I heard you crying. I thought you were still waiting for me, so I put the last bullet on the wolf and climbed back to the road little by little.

He choked with sobs and his eyes were frighteningly red. “Xiaoxiao, don’t leave me.”. If you go, I won’t be able to live.

The pain slowly became imperceptible, and I wiped away his tears with my hands.

As soon as he opened his mouth, there was a gush of blood, and he did not know if he could hear it.

Don’t cry, Sung Shen. In my next life, I will come to you again. He coughed

violently, breathed violently, and his eyes slowly lost focus.

Song Shen hugged me tightly and cried like a child, tearing his heart and lungs.

The darkness came and soaked everything.

All the senses are gradually losing their functions. In the

chaos of time and space, I went back to the autumn when I was 18 years old.

I poked my head out of the car window and saw the cold boy holding an umbrella and going away alone in the autumn rain.

The car is moving forward and he is moving backward.

This life is long and short, and I am lucky to rub shoulders with him and spend the day and night together.

…………

Once there was a man whom I loved more than life.

I made a vow to the Buddha, asking him to be safe, even if it was in exchange for mine. I didn’t lose money on

this deal.

Song Shen, I love you. I love you very much.

(End of text)

[Zhou Xuan: Xiaoxiao Yuxie]

1

When I received Song Shen’s phone call, I was pouring water to drink. I don’t know when the cup in

my hand hit the ground. My mother followed the sound and saw it. She was startled: “Chou Hsuan, what are you doing?”? Did you burn it?

I grabbed my coat and left.

Xiaoxiao is rescuing, but she is rescuing. On the

phone, I asked, “Is it a difficult birth?”

Sung Shen’s voice was very painful: “No.” I did this to her.

I caught the fastest high-speed rail and took a taxi directly to the hospital.

The driver asked me, “Is there someone at home in the hospital?”

I put my forehead against the glass and answered, “My good sister.”

Wait for me and live, Xiaoxiao. There were too many people in the

elevator, so I ran up the fire escape.

Tenth floor, tenth floor. When he opened the

door and rushed out, he saw Song Shen, covered in blood, standing outside the rescue room, out of his mind and motionless. Beside

him stood two policemen with live ammunition, guarding him vigilantly.

I ran over, and the gun was pointed at me mercilessly.

I was so frightened that my legs went limp. Sung Shen slowly turned his head and said in a dumb voice, “This is my wife’s friend.”

So the gun was lowered. I

didn’t dare to speak up, so I asked him softly, “What’s the matter?”

Song Shen said in a trance, “It’s a drug dealer.”. Their target was me, and Hsiao Hsiao took the bullet for me.

Tears fell from the corners of his eyes, and he trembled, covered his face with his hands, and said no more. Holding the armrest of my seat,

I felt my insides churning. The lights in the

emergency room went out. Open the

door.

The doctor pushed the transfer bed out, which was covered with a white cloth.

I covered my mouth, and big tears came out and dripped through my fingers. “The bullet passed through an aorta,”

the doctor said. “The patient lost a lot of blood and suffered multiple organ failure. When it arrived, the fetus had suffocated in the mother’s body. I’m sorry for your loss.

Song Shen shook his whole body and reached out to uncover the white cloth.

Xiaoxiao closed his eyes as if he were sleeping.

He leaned over and kissed her on the forehead.

A tear slid down his blood-stained face and dripped on Xiaoxiao’s white face.

Song Shen wiped his hands clean and carefully and patiently wiped away the tears little by little.

I bit my lip to stop myself from crying. On the day

of Xiaoxiao’s funeral, I asked for leave, took the things she left with me, and went to Nanjing again. In

that posthumous photo, she smiled so beautifully and heartlessly, as if I had just met her. In

the mourning hall, Xiaoxiao’s mother cried so hard that her liver and gallbladder cracked. Xiaoxiao’s friends came and held back their tears to persuade her aunt to mourn.

Song Shen stood in the most corner, dressed in black, the whole person and a lot of thin, pale, staring at her portrait, motionless, like a shadow.

I went over and gave him Xiaoxiao’s things.

He glanced slowly at the small box and asked, “What is this?”

I said, “It was the letter she put here when Xiaoxiao’s depression was at its worst.”. I didn’t open it. She only said that if one day she couldn’t hold back and committed suicide, she wanted me to burn all this for you.

Sung Shen took it, raised his head, closed his eyes, and said in a dumb voice, “Thank you.” I

shook my head, unable to resist, and said, “She loves you the most. You must take care of yourself.”

He smiled briefly and said, “Yes, she loves me the most.” After the

funeral, I lost the news of Song Shen.

Only heard that he gave all his property to Xiaoxiao’s parents, and then disappeared. The TV in the

restaurant is broadcasting the news that a woman was killed in an armed robbery in downtown Nanjing recently. In the

process, many Nanjing citizens acted bravely and drove to stop the criminals from further action, which was commended by the municipal government.

My colleague asked me, “Chou Hsuan, why are you crying?”

I reached out my hand and wiped away my tears. The chili in this shop is too hot, so you should eat less, haha.

My colleague looked at me doubtfully, then looked at the news and said, “Robbers are really arrogant these days, but did you hear that there was a policeman among the passers-by who shot the two criminals on the spot?”

Tears fell down again, and I said as if nothing had happened, “Really?”? I haven’t heard of it.

My colleague picked up the food and said casually, “If you ask me, there should be more policemen like this to see if those bad guys are still tough.”

After a pause, she added, “But to tell you the truth, being a family member of a policeman these days is too scary.”. Alas, the other day my aunt introduced me to a policeman, but I refused. I don’t have that big heart. My

tears were in my throat, and I drank water to hide it. When the

water choked my throat, I covered my face with paper and finally had a reason to burst into tears. Frightened,

my colleague slapped me on the back and said, “Chou Hsuan, are you all right?”

I’m fine. It’s just that I lost a friend like a sister in the news that people are talking about after dinner. When

she was closest to happiness, she met death.

My God, you are such a bastard. When

Song Shen was

six years old, he saw a big fire.

Although the people around him said that he had not seen it, the fire burned in his mind.

So that more than a decade later, the ashes of the fire were still floating and falling in his life. He lost his parents

in the fire.

It was his birthday, and he was still waiting for his parents who had been away on business for a long time to come back. It was

agreed that they would bring him an Ultraman cake.

But they broke their promise, and they’re never coming back.

From then on, Song Shen never celebrated his birthday again. When he was

18 years old, he applied for the college entrance examination, and when he came down, all he filled in was the police Academy.

yuan Kuo-ming hesitated to speak and advised him: “You can choose the major you like.”

For martyrs and orphans, the state always gives some preferential treatment. “This is my favorite major,

” Sung replied.

Since more than a decade ago, this has been his only career goal.

yuan Kuo-ming adds, “Then when you get to college, you can start falling in love.”. I heard from your head teacher that in your high school class and in the class next door, including the older and younger students, there are many people who have a crush on you.

Song Shen smiled and did not speak.

yuan Kuo-ming’s facial expression finally became serious: “To tell you the truth, I treat you as half a son.”. I want you to have a healthy and happy life, not to live in the past.

Sung Shen nodded his head, submitted his application, turned off his computer, and replied, “Yes, I will.”

Then he picked up his coat and said, “I’m going to play ball first.”

Close the door and go.

yuan Guoming looked at the back of his departure and sighed.

Song Shen’s answer was just to make him happy, how could he not see it.

In the police Academy, Song Shen is the most serious one.

He has a good physical quality, and he is willing to bear hardships and study hard, so he has learned everything first.

Lao Li felt that he had found a good seedling and called his comrade-in-arms in Song Shen’s household registration.

I want to know the child’s family situation and leave him in Beijing by the way.

Beijing is good. Beijing has a good place to go, a glorious place to give the whole family a long face.

That comrade-in-arms said, you die this heart, if he really wants to live that kind of life, it was not your police Academy’s turn to accept him at the beginning.

Lao Li met with a rebuff, still did not break the idea, always want to persuade again.

Young people, if their minds are uncertain, where will they die?

Song Shen is good-looking and calm, not only the elders like it, but also the girls like it very much.

The brothers were asked about Song Shen’s mind, but he only said that he was not going to fall in love. There are too many important things in

his life, and there is not much room for him. Most of

his rarefied emotions were reserved for that goal.

Leave a small half, stay in the dream, let him go back to six years old repeatedly, repeat the warm moments with his parents over and over again.

School girls come in one after another, and there are always fresh people who are curious to fold the flower of Kaolin.

Song Shen has always been cold and aloof, and the girls are also interesting, gradually changing direction. When

a good bird chooses a tree to live in, he becomes the highest branch on the treetop. Someone will always stretch out his hand, but he will never pick it. Before

Ji Xiaoxiao appeared, Song Shen did not believe in the so-called “positive fate.”.

He is an atheist. When he was suddenly stopped

that day, Song Shen could not quite remember what the girl’s name was.

Is your surname Zhang or Ji?

I just caught a glimpse when I signed at the police station.

Song Shen refused her invitation, but noticed her dim eyes in an instant.

Perhaps because it happened to be his birthday that day, her expression from expectation to loss was too familiar, which made Song Shen think of himself at the age of six.

So the refusal made a detour, and when he said it again, he asked, “Would you like some coffee?” The

brother hurriedly elbowed him and said, “It’s not easy. Tieshu has blossomed.”

Song Shen felt that it was not the love between men and women, and if he insisted on describing it, it was more like opening a can of cat food for the kitten he met on the roadside. I just

can’t bear it.

So when she stammered to show her heart, Song Shen told her clearly that she would never fall in love or get married and have children.

Please find someone else, just like the girls who have been interested in him.

After a long time, Song Shen had almost forgotten the girl named Ji Xiaoxiao.

He met her again, on the subway. In the

crowded crowd, she obviously did not notice him, the whole person is listless.

But she was the first to jump up and curse when she saw a salty pig hand, and protected the other girl behind her.

How funny, she was not as tall as the protected girl, and her hands were shaking during the confrontation, but she did not take a step back.

Song Shen called the subway police, who quickly transferred them to the next station. The

carriage was quiet again, and Ji Xiaoxiao shrank back, continued to hang his head, and continued to be listless.

Song Shen suddenly felt very interesting. During the night chat in the

dormitory, they all agreed that a man’s love for a woman begins with pity and curiosity.

Many years later, when Sung Shen was asked by Chi Hsiao-hsiao why he had allowed her to be an “accident” in his life, he somehow remembered this sentence.

Pity and curiosity. When you

see her, you will not have the heart to refuse, you will be soft-hearted, and you will want to protect her.

Although he was still hesitating, fearing that he would bring harm to her, she had vowed: “As long as the day and night.”

Later things developed too fast, Song Shen never dared to indulge himself to love her.

He had struggled with whether he should show his heart clearly and hold out his love without reservation, like she did.

But many years later, when the Sino-Vietnamese border was hanging by a thread, Song Shen was always very lucky. The less love he

used to show, the easier it is for her to get away now, isn’t it?

Song Shen began to dream again. In the

dream, there are not only young parents, but also her figure squatting in the bathroom, crying quietly.

Song Shen remembered the day they broke up, how Xiaoxiao prayed that he could not have any contact, just wanted to know that he was still alive.

And he replaced his answer with silence.

Later, he was about to carry out an extremely dangerous mission, and the risk of exposure was very high. Before

departure, Song Shen entrusted his upper line and knocked down the regular mail.

He did not leave a suicide note to anyone, he just wanted Xiaoxiao to think that he was still alive and well in a corner of the world.

She loves to cry, and he doesn’t want her to cry.

Later events left only shadowy fragments in my mind. The psychologist invited by the

provincial department told Song Shen that it was the self-protection mechanism of the human brain. Memories of

the cruelest evisceration, evisceration and beheading were filtered out, leaving some traces of reality on his young and scarred body. Before the

treatment was over, Song Shen heard that Ji Xiaoxiao was going to get married.

He arrived in Beijing overnight. When he

actually stood at the door of the hotel and saw the photo of her holding the bridegroom’s arm and smiling, he couldn’t help asking himself: Song Shen, what’s the point of your coming?

However, his legs went uncontrollably to the banquet hall. At the

check-in desk, a round-faced girl looked at him with a smile.

When Song Shen saw a pile of gifts at her hand, he reacted and immediately walked out of the hotel and went to the nearest ATM to withdraw money. There was only one hundred thousand in the card

he carried with him, so he took out one hundred thousand. Stunned,

the round-faced girl took the pen in her hand and asked him his name. After a long silence

, Sung Shen smiled and said, “You don’t have to write your name. I’ll just go in and sit down.”

He found the most remote corner to sit down, probably surrounded by relatives and friends of the groom, is talking about this pair of beauty and talent, it is too suitable.

He listened in silence, piecing together little by little from the mouths of others what he had missed, her years.

She went to Switzerland to study, and her tutor appreciated her very much and wanted her to continue her doctoral studies.

She said she wanted to return to China early, so she returned to Beijing and found a job near her undergraduate school.

They also said that the bride was too thin, while another laughed and said, “Let Ah Ho cook more delicious food to make her fatter.”

Song Shen suddenly felt that he had no need to stay.

He poured a glass of wine and raised his glass to the newlyweds who exchanged vows on the stage. After escaping

from the border, his eyesight deteriorated badly and he was waiting for relevant surgery.

So he did not see, the bride on the stage suddenly froze, suddenly burst into tears. The relatives and friends

at the same table are still having a heated discussion, speculating whether the bride would like to have a second child, whether the child is brought by the grandmother or the grandmother.

Song Shen put down his glass and got up and left. At the age of

21, he made a birthday wish.

He wants his girl to be happy. It’s good that this wish has come true

today. The phone call

from Yunnan was so shocking that his mobile phone never stopped, so he wanted to persuade him to go back for treatment.

His internal organs, bones, eyes and ears all need lengthy treatment.

He turned off the phone and put it aside. When he

heard the barking of the dog, Song Shen was packing up his suitcase.

He wondered if he had misheard, and there seemed to be a familiar cry between the barking of the dog.

But he felt that he was hearing voices, because he often heard her crying when he was struggling at the boundary of life and death countless times.

Very low, very thin, like a cat’s cry, let him not die.

Now, the owner of the voice should still be wearing a beautiful wedding dress and receiving the blessings of relatives and friends.

But somehow, there seemed to be a force forcing him to put down his clothes, open the door and go out.

Then Song Shen saw her. The bride, who

was supposed to be brilliant, was curled up in the corner, her hands covering her head.

Just like that winter night many years ago, the whole person shrank into a small ball. His

ears seemed to have been swung with a heavy hammer, and his world was buzzing and trembling.

Song Shen picked her up.

Her eyes were so full of tears that she did not realize that his eyes, which were covered by the brim of his hat, had turned red at the first sight of her.

They hugged and kissed.

Instinct told him that he missed the girl, very, very much.

But her hand touched the scar on his chest, and he suddenly woke up-

he was a man with half a foot pulled by the devil in hell.

And she, today is her wedding, she has a husband who loves her, and she will have a happy and stable life.

Song Shen pushed her away, sat up, and slapped himself hard.

He has always believed that Xiaoxiao is a gift from heaven.

Otherwise, there is no way to explain why he is only attracted to her, nor to explain where her consistent waiting and love for him comes from.

The misunderstanding was lifted, and the picture of life he had never imagined was held in front of him by her own hands. In

a small home, there are cats, potted plants and sunshine.

Most importantly, there is her.

Whether she wakes up in the morning with fluffy hair and doesn’t wake up, or she gradually recovers her coquettish and shameless appearance, she is very cute. He can’t help smiling when he thinks of it

on the road.

Lost and recovered is the biggest surprise of God.

As the man’s relatives and friends said at the banquet, Xiaoxiao was really too thin.

Song Shen changed the pattern to cook for Xiaoxiao, only hoping to compensate her for what she missed. While

cleaning the room, he found the medicine she used to stabilize her mood and alleviate sleep disorders.

But she didn’t tell him, so he pretended not to find out.

Only late at night, when she called his name in tears in her dream, Song Shen would think of those medicines. Remind him over and

over again how she suffered during the two years he was “dead.”.

He never told her that if she hadn’t stopped him in the guesthouse that day, he would have completely disappeared into the sea of people.

Because before meeting her, Song Shen arranged for himself to die together. It was her love that

kept him climbing out of hell.

He hasn’t planned a future for himself, except for her.

Song Shen’s life is divided by the age of 28. Before the age of

28, he lived to destroy the drug cartel. After the age of

28, he lived for the girl who pulled him out of the abyss.

But God played a cruel joke.

This is probably the closest moment in Song Shen’s life. He and she have a home and a stable job. The baby that

is about to be born also has a godmother and a godgrandfather to send a safe buckle and a longevity lock.

All kinds of prenatal education music and videos are played at home in all directions without dead angle.

As Xiaoxiao walked, he would suddenly lower his head and talk to the baby in his belly.

Baby, you really want to eat ice cream, don’t you? But Dad won’t let me. What should I do?

He laughed and had to give in to the noble pregnant woman and buy a box of ice cream in winter and let her taste it.

It seems that money, violence and blood are far away from his life.

He was infected by Xiaoxiao and began to imagine the life of a family of three.

Xiaoxiao enthusiastically bought his own cotton cloth to do needlework, half of which was troublesome, and Song Shen picked up the needle and thread and sewed out a small dress stitch by stitch.

The next day Xiaoxiao woke up, looked at the clothes and exclaimed, all kinds of coquetry, and asked him to make two more for adults.

“This is our family outfit for the three of us. It’s unique in the world. It’s super cool, okay?”

As a result, his hands, which were used to holding pistols and daggers, had to burn the midnight oil to sew the parent-child outfit that was said to “hide the love of the father, and the baby will certainly like it very much.”.

At such times, there is always a little cunning hidden in Xiaoxiao’s curved smiling eyes.

But he was happy with it.

Later, at her grave, he burned all three of the beautiful dresses, which were of different sizes.

Together with Xiaoxiao’s belongings handed over by Zhou Xuan, her tear-stained love letters, and his photos with her.

Burn it to Xiaoxiao, burn it to a child he has never met, and burn it to himself in advance. He was sure that

they would be reunited soon.

8

Just as he could not recall the details of his suffering, Song Shen could not fully recall what had happened in the evening when the gun was fired.

He asked the psychologist, “Is there any way to recall it all?”

Psychologists say, “This is the brain protecting itself. If you force yourself to recall, it will damage you.” “It doesn’t matter,”

he said. “I have to remember.”

The psychiatrist was puzzled.

I saw the thin man smiling out of the window, and the smile was extremely sad. “That’s the last image she left me,”

he said. “I have to remember.”

The psychologist did not know whether he had recalled every detail in the end, but she knew that if the man named Song Shen recalled the picture of his wife’s death over and over again, he would inevitably fall into a long and inextricable pain.

Song Shen stopped the treatment and never came back. The

last person who has an impression of Song Shen should be the administrator of a cemetery in Nanjing. It

is not a year or a festival, and there are few visitors in the cemetery. It rained heavily

that day, and no one came to visit.

The administrator listened to the radio and fell asleep.

Then the glass is knocked.

He saw a young man standing in the doorway, holding a black umbrella, and his trouser legs were soaked through.

The administrator hurriedly asked him to come in and register.

When he noticed that the young man named Song Shen had brought a box of cakes, he asked, “Is it your family’s birthday today?”

The young man smiled and said, “Today is my wife’s birthday.”

He was clearly smiling, but the administrator felt that he had probably said the wrong thing.

It happened that the opera came from the radio, singing the Peony Pavilion.

Euphemistic and leisurely, sing a sentence is: life and death, death and resurrection, are not the love of also.

The young man stood where he was, as if he had fallen into some memory, and it took him a long time to remember to put down his pen.

“I’ll go first.” He said.

The caretaker went to the door and watched his figure disappear into the downpour. Between

heaven and earth, between mountains and mountains, it seems that he is the only one left.

The administrator could not help recalling the lyrics of the song he heard in the seventies and eighties?

Oh, I remember. I walk alone on

a thousand mountains, so I don’t have to see you off.

(End)

Record No.: YXX1Abb8deTddd1ayEtRlK

X Newborn calf, turn over the evil tiger: Young man who knows the law, don’t provoke

me

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