The Flower of
Evil: Awakening and Redemption
in the Dark Dilemma. Everyone says that I am the most licking dog around Xu Jiaye.
I peeled walnuts for him with my bare hands and went to buy baked sweet potatoes for him with a high fever at three o’clock in the morning.
Even when his white moonlight came back, I picked him up at the airport. “I’m just looking for a stand-in to amuse myself,”
says Hsu Chia-yeh.
They said I was sick, “I know I’m a double and I’m still going up.” I
lowered my eyes.
Oh.
But Xu Jiaye is also a stand-in. I felt a little uncomfortable
in the evening. I took my temperature, 39.6. I took the medicine and planned to lie down. The
mobile phone rang.
“Meet the bar. Come here.” The voice in the
microphone was very noisy, and Xu Jiaye’s voice was drunk.
I sighed. “But I’m not feeling well.”
“Come if you’re not dead.”
I changed my clothes and went out to take a taxi. Before entering the bar, I took off the antipyretic paste on my forehead.
Medicine and antipyretic patches seem to have little effect, and the temperature of the body is still frighteningly hot. The music that pierced my eardrum in the
bar made my head ache. When he
found Xu Jiaye, he was bowing his head to play with the dice on the table, and there was a beautiful woman sitting around him.
I went over to one of the girls and said, “Please get up.”
She looked at me disapprovingly. “Who are you?”
I have nothing to say for a moment.
In their words, I am Xu Jiaye’s licking dog.
The girl would look at her face and find that Xu Jiaye didn’t take me seriously at all, and became more and more unscrupulous. There are a lot of people who
like Ah Ye, but they’re not even chicken feathers. When they come up, they look like they’re in the main palace. Am I right, Ah Ye?
Xu Jiaye took one look at me, but said nothing. He picked up his glass and asked the girl, “What would you like to eat?”
The girl rolled her eyes and said, “I want to eat pecans, in the shell.”
Xu Jiaye ignored me completely and called the waiter.
After a while, a plate of walnuts with open mouths but shells was served.
If you want to eat the walnuts inside, you have to break the shell outside with your hands.
“Ah Ye, let her peel the walnuts for me. I want to eat them.”
I looked at Xu Jiaye. After
Xu Jiaye drank the wine in his hand, he put his arm on the girl’s shoulder and played with her hair.
He turned his head to look at me, his eyes misty with drunkenness. “Do you have anything to say?”
I looked at him calmly. “Do you want me to peel it?”
“***!” I don’t know where his temper came from. He kicked the table angrily, and a few walnuts rolled to the ground.
“Peel, peel with your hands!”
“Good.”
Under the deafening music and dazzling spotlights, I peeled little by little with my bare hands.
Pecans have much harder shells than “paper” walnuts on the market.
My fingertips were cut by the hard shell, and blood oozed out. I took a paper towel to wipe off the blood stains.
And then continue. There are more and more tissues covered
with my blood on the ground. Pushing cups and changing cups and laughing on the
card seat gradually whispered, and they all turned their eyes to me.
My fingers are dripping with blood.
“Xu Jiaye.” I looked up.
He was looking at me, but when I looked up, he turned his face and took a sip of the beer on the table.
Pretend not to hear me.
I called again, “Hsu Chia-yeh.”
He didn’t look at me. He was very impatient. “Say.”
“There are no tissues left. Can you get me a pack?”
He slammed his glass on the table and turned to look at me angrily. “Is that what you’re saying?” I
couldn’t understand where his anger came from, and I frowned and looked at him doubtfully.
He gritted his teeth and said, “No tissue. Lick it up yourself!”
Blood was still oozing from my fingertips, and I rubbed it on my skirt.
White dress, red blood stains instantly in the above dizzy open, flirtatious and eye-catching.
I heard the girl who had asked for walnuts say, “Is she sick?”
Then there was a bang.
Xu Jiaye smashed the wine bottle at hand. Shards of
glass and wine splashed all over the floor.
The girl was so frightened that she screamed, “Ah Ye, what’s wrong with you?”
Hsu Chia-yeh stood up with a black face. “It’s no fun. Let’s go.”
I’m not moving.
Hsu Chia-yeh yelled at me, “Haven’t you peeled enough walnuts?”
I stood up with a calm face, but the next second the extreme dizziness made my eyes black.
When he lost consciousness, his ears were filled with sarcastic voices.
“Cow, you’re burning so high. Ah Ye is still on call when he barks.”
“Not to mention being the first dog to lick around Ah Yeh.”
I don’t blame them for saying that.
Xu Jiaye never hesitated to say to his brothers in front of me, “I lack a substitute for entertainment.”
At this time, they all turned to look at me.
I just sat quietly, not crying, not angry. Willing to
be a stand-in.
I was obedient around him, but Xu Jiaye also annoyed me. He once left me on the side of the road in the middle of the night during a
heavy rainstorm.
“You don’t look like her anymore. Don’t bother me anymore.”
I said, “I’ll see what I can do.”
“Sick.”
He drove away in the dust. I didn’t go to see him for about three months after
that, and he appeared in front of me in a grumpy way.
“Didn’t you say you were going to find a way?”
I answered truthfully, “I was thinking about it, but I didn’t think about it.”
He rudely dragged me into the car and said, “Walk me somewhere.”
Since then, I have reappeared beside Xu Jiaye. Once,
late at night, his friend called me and said, “Ah Ye has passed out from drinking.” When
I arrived, Xu Jiaye was lying on the sofa with a pale face, as if he was not breathing.
Like dead. There was a
buzz and my mind went blank. It was not
until I could feel his heart beating in the past that my tears stopped.
“He’s crying as if Ah Ye were dead. Don’t worry, he’s just drunk, not dead.”
But I’m still not at ease.
Still sent him to the hospital to check his heart. I spent the whole night with Xu Jiaye
that day.
He woke up before me and looked at his mobile phone.
His brothers took pictures of me as if I was crying last night and made fun of me in the group.
“So afraid of my death?” Xu Jiaye asked me.
I raised my hand to feel his heartbeat, one, one, clear and strong.
Hsu Chia-yeh says, “Even if I have a new heart, I’ll be fine. I have a big life.”
My eyes are dim for a moment.
The heart was beating clearly under my palm.
This heartbeat once belonged to someone else. When
I woke up in the hospital, as expected, there was no Xu Jiaye beside me.
The nurse came to take my temperature, and it has cooled down. The finger injured by
peeling walnuts has been bandaged. Xu Jiaye didn’t look for me during
this period.
It was a month later that his brothers suddenly made a bet.
“Hao Man is coming back. Let’s take a bet. How long can Chien Shih, the stand-in, stay with Ah Yeh?”
A week. One month. Three months.
Hao Man is the white moonlight of Xu Jiaye.
In the evening I received a phone call from Hsu Chia-yeh, saying, “I’m driving to the airport to pick up someone.” When
Hao Man saw me, he looked at me from head to toe.
“That’s a poor imitation.”
“Ah Ye has let you follow him for so long.”
I drove quietly and did not respond to her words. While
waiting for the traffic lights, Hao Man looked at me through the rearview mirror.
“I heard you took the initiative to chase Ah Ye.”
“Your boyfriend died in a car accident just before that.”
“Ah Ye also had heart surgery during that time.”
I slammed on the brakes. Hao Man in the
back seat did not wear a seat belt, and he rushed forward crazily, bumping into the front seat. You
are sick! Can you drive?
I pointed to the red light. “If I can’t, you won’t have a chance to talk to me now.”
Angrily, she fastened her seat belt and began to touch up her makeup. She finally quieted down for
the rest of the drive.
To the box. The moment I
opened the door, the eyes of all the people inside were focused.
They looked at me from top to bottom and then began to laugh at me.
“A fake is a fake. When the real one appeared, it was too clumsy to see.”
A roar of laughter.
Hao Man also squinted at me, his eyes full of sarcasm.
Xu Jiaye today is not quite the same as usual, rare to put away the usual undisciplined, wearing a white shirt, straight back sitting in the seat.
He deliberately left an empty seat beside him. I
used to sit there.
Now Hao Man walked over of his own accord.
I turned to go.
Xu Jiaye called me, “Did I let you go?”? We’re going to drink later, and you’re going to take Hao Man back.
Remembering the last time he fainted after drinking, I looked at the position of his heart and frowned.
“Don’t drink too much.”
His brother burst out laughing again.
“I don’t know where I am yet. Hao Man is back. Is it your turn to care?”
“I’ve been a stand-in for a long time, and I really take myself seriously.”
I walked around the corner and sat down, took out my mobile phone and played Xiaoxiaole quietly. There was a
lot of excitement over there, and someone suggested playing Truth or Dare.
I don’t know if it’s a real coincidence, or if those people did it deliberately in order to bring Hao Man and Xu Jiaye together.
The mouth of the bottle was aimed at Hao Man three times in a row.
The first two times, Hao Man chose the truth. The
first time someone asked her, “What is the purpose of this trip back to China?”
Hao Man said, “For one person.”
The whole audience booed ambiguously.
The second time someone asked her, “Is that man here?”
Hao Man’s ears were flushed. “Yes.”
“Why don’t you just report Ah Ye’s ID card?”
“Come on, the game is to see through and not say anything.” The
third time, Hao Man also wanted to choose the truth.
It was blocked. “You can only choose the same option twice in a row. You have to choose another option the third time.”
Hao Man can only choose the big adventure.
“You choose one of the boys here to kiss.”
Hao Man blushed and without hesitation turned to kiss the corners of Xu Jiaye’s mouth. The picture of
two people kissing is frozen.
I just looked up and looked at Xu Jiaye.
I ignored it, switched from Xiaoxiaole to WeChat, and found the group that they had voted for at that time.
[How long can Jane’s stand-in stay with Ah Ye]
One day.
I choose.
“Shit, which brother is so ruthless? He only voted for one day.”
In the ambiguous atmosphere, someone suddenly complained.
Voter Jane.. Is the time right?
They turned to look at me.
I turn my phone off, look up, “What’s the prize for winning?”
Xu Jiaye looked at me with a black face. “What do you mean?”
“I won’t come to you from tomorrow.”
He gritted his teeth and said, “Why did you make this decision? The only thing I can do is not let you come!”
I pointed to Hao Man. “Why don’t you get rid of her?”
“You’re just a stand-in. Do you deserve it?”
“Well,” I nodded. “So I win.”
Xu Jiaye’s face is ugly. None of the people
present dared to speak out.
After a while, someone broke the ice. “Really, you’re playing a good game. What about the stakes? Come on, let’s keep playing.”
They played truth or dare again.
This time the bottle was aimed at Xu Jiaye.
“Ah Ye, what do you choose?”
Hsu Chia-yeh’s tone is still not very good. “Big adventure.”
Can you afford it? Then.. All the girls here, pick one and kiss her.
I saw Xu Jiaye turn around and embrace Hao Man and kiss him without hesitation. Everyone
is clapping their hands.
My stomach is burning with nausea.
Then came a throbbing pain.
I covered my stomach and turned pale with pain.
Finally, he couldn’t hold up and ran into the bathroom of the box and vomited. The pain in
my stomach only increased, and I curled up on the floor of the bathroom in a trance.
I seem to see Su Yue.
My, Su Yue. Su Yue and
I have been together since high school. We are each other’s first love. We were admitted to the same university together and stayed in the same city to work.
Originally.
We should have a good future. When I
graduated, as an intern, I worked hard and often forgot to eat in order to become a full member successfully. When you are
hungry, there is something wrong with your stomach. Once I
worked overtime very late, and I didn’t eat all day. I had stomach trouble, and I curled up on the workstation in pain. I took all the medicine I
usually prepared. Su Yue, who
came to pick me up from work, was distressed when he saw it. He poured me a cup of warm water and let me have a good rest. He went to buy medicine.
He left for a while, and when I felt a little more comfortable, I turned around and found that his mobile phone had been left at the water dispenser.
Worried that he had no cash, I picked up his cell phone and went to find him. When
I got downstairs, I found a lot of people on the opposite road.
Others hurried past me toward the place where the crowd had gathered.
“It looks like someone was killed over there.”
The heart seems to have been pulled heavily.
I told myself not to think about it.
But he walked uncontrollably in the direction of the crowd.
I saw Su Yue.
He was lying in a pool of blood, beside which was the stomach medicine he bought for me.
Su Yue.. Su Yue!
I ran to him crying.
He was lying on the ground covered in blood. I didn’t dare to hold him. I didn’t know where to touch him. He didn’t hurt.
I wanted to call the police and call 120, but my hands were out of my control, and my hands were shaking with my mobile phone.
I could only cry and beg the crowd of onlookers, “Please, help me, can you help me?”
Someone comforted me, “Don’t worry, little girl, we’ve already called.”
Someone took out a cell phone and took a picture of us, saying, “This young couple really loves each other.”
Su Yue opened his eyes and said with difficulty, “Don’t cry.”
I cried even more. I wanted to hug him, but I was afraid of hurting him.
I could only keep choking and calling his name, “Su Yue, Su Yue..”
He raised his hand slowly to cover my face.
“Don’t let them take pictures. You’re going to get married later.”
The ambulance pulled up beside us. The
healthcare workers came down with a stretcher.
Su Yue’s hand, however, slipped from my face bit by bit.
I quickly reached out and grabbed it.
But I can’t feel his pulse.
Don’t.. Su Yue, don’t.. At 22:13
on February 14, I still lost Su Yue. The
bathroom door was kicked open, and I saw Xu Jiaye.
Along with him came Hao Man and his brothers.
They looked down at my discomfited appearance.
“I told you she wasn’t that free and easy. Now she’s just trying to make Ah Ye feel sorry for her.”
“You’re quite good at pretending. I thought you were quite straightforward just now, but now you’re playing tricks and pretending to be pitiful.”
I sat against the wall with my stomach in my hands, and suddenly a basin of cold water poured down from my head. With a shiver,
I looked up and saw the instigator, Hsu Chia-yeh, looking at me with icy eyes.
“It’s just a stand-in. There’s so much drama.” You can’t even put it in a
plastic bag. Nausea
I looked at the position of his heart with a full body of wolves.
At this moment, I finally let it go.
He only has Su Yue’s heart.
But it has nothing to do with Su Yue.
Su Yue won’t throw cold water on me. He won
‘t ask me to buy baked sweet potatoes for him who has a fever in the middle of the night. I won
‘t let deliberate humiliation make me work for another woman. Will
not deliberately give me alcohol.
Won’t let his friends laugh at me. It won
‘t embarrass me.
I stood up and walked through them towards the door of the box, the water stains spreading all the way with my steps. When I
was about to walk out of the door of the box, Xu Jiaye shouted at me,
“Chien Shih, did I ***ing let you go?”
I walked out firmly.
Xu Jiaye’s roaring voice came after him. “Now that you’re gone, don’t appear in front of me to disgust me in the future!” I closed the
door.
I went to see a psychiatrist.
After Suyue’s death, I suffered from major depression.
I’ve been in therapy. Dr.
Xu has always been my attending doctor.
I greeted him with a smile. “How are you, Dr. Hsu?”
“It doesn’t matter whether I am good or not. What matters is whether you are good or not.”
I said truthfully, “It should be over soon. I can already accept the fact that the man has nothing to do with Su Yue.”
Dr. Hsu suddenly frowned. “I don’t think so.”
Some people have been holding on to things that are suddenly gone, and she can’t live. It was as if her spiritual support had suddenly collapsed and her world had been destroyed.
“I’m really worried about what will happen to you if one day you lose the thing you’ve been holding on to.”
I still smiled. “No, I’m fine now.”
Dr. Hsu sighs, “Let’s do the test first.” When the
diagnosis came out, it was still severe depression.
Dr. Hsu was frustrated. “You’re the best-behaved patient I’ve ever seen, but you’re also the one whose treatment has been the least effective.”. You have begun to make me doubt my professional abilities.
I turned around and comforted him, saying, “No, I feel that Dr. Hsu’s treatment is very effective.” With a wry smile,
he said, “Anyway, I still want you to come out and live a good life.”
I haven’t seen Xu Jiaye for a long time, and I have completely deleted his contact information.
Usually when I have nothing to do, I make an appointment with my good friend Nanxi to go shopping and eat together.
Everything is fine.
But Xu Jiaye suddenly appeared in front of me again.
In the afternoon, when I was tired of shopping with Nanxi, I went to a tea restaurant for dinner. In the middle of the
meal, Xu Jiaye and Hao Man came in. There are not many people in the shop
today, and many seats are empty.
But Xu Jiaye chose the position opposite me.
He sat side by side with Hao Man, and after the dessert was served, Hao Man fed it to his mouth spoonful by spoonful.
Hao Man occasionally acts like a spoiled child to let him feed, he also spoons together a small piece to feed into her mouth.
Two people are affectionate, just like a young couple in love. Seeing that everything on the table was almost finished,
I asked Nanxi, “Have you finished?”? Let’s go back.
“Let’s go.” When he
left, Xu Jiaye’s table suddenly heard a loud noise of things breaking.
Hao Man screamed, “Ah Ye, your hand is bleeding!”
I suddenly remembered that Xu Jiaye used to call me up in the middle of the night to bandage him even if he was only cut by a knife.
At first, the dressing was not good, and he always thought it was ugly.
A man insisted that I tie a bow for him.
Later, I learned many ways to tie knots.
But this time, I left the restaurant without looking back. In the middle of the
night, I felt thirsty. When I got up to drink water, I saw more than a dozen calls from unfamiliar numbers on my mobile phone.
I drank the water and dialed back.
Hsu Chia-ye’s husky voice rang out, “Why didn’t you answer the phone?”
I’ll just hang up.
He called again.
I blacklisted the number.
Another strange number came in. I have been around
Xu Jiaye for some time, and I know more or less about his character. With a little paranoia in
his bones. I
didn’t want my phone to blow up all night, so I answered the phone.
“What do you want to do?”
He persistently asked, “Why didn’t you answer the phone?”
“Mute it.”
He paused. “I used to find you no matter how late it was.”
That was before. I
used to turn on the phone 24 hours a day for Xu Jiaye.
A very qualified licking dog.
I said, “I’ll hang up if you don’t have anything.”
“I have a fever. Can you come over? I feel terrible.”
Xu Jiaye is prone to fever, which he said is a sequela of his operation.
So I used to be nervous every time I heard that he had a fever, for fear that it would affect his heart.
But after asking the doctor, the doctor said that it was just a reaction of the body’s immune system and had nothing to do with the heart, and then I was relieved.
No time. And do not forget what you said.
I just hung up the phone.
Xu Jiaye lay on the sofa with more than a dozen mobile phones on the tea table.
Now, no matter which number you change to call Jane’s number, it will be turned off.
He couldn’t accept that Jane, who had always been so obedient, would ignore him one day.
At first, when Jane said those words in the box, he was angry, but in fact he didn’t believe them. Everyone
knows how much Jane licks him and how she can leave him.
Finally, he was found pretending to be pitiful in the toilet in order to win his sympathy.
But he also wants to punish her, who let her just dare to say those words that leave him.
So he threw cold water on her.
Later, when she left, he also said cruel words to her.
But it was not the first time he had said these words to her, and she had not run back and licked him herself.
He always felt that this should be the same as any time they quarreled. I’m sure
Jane won’t last two days before she comes back for him.
But two days passed and she didn’t move.
Two weeks later, she still hasn’t made any movement.
A month later, he was so angry that he dialed Jane’s number and found that he had been blacklisted!
He could not tolerate this situation, so he deliberately inquired about Jane’s timely itinerary, knowing that she was going to have afternoon tea, so he deliberately followed her.
Also deliberately in front of her very ambiguous, just want to wait for her to get angry.
But she didn’t.
She went away lightly.
She just walked away like that!
The doorbell rang.
Xu Jiaye instantly got up from the sofa to open the door.
He knew that Jane could not let him go, and that it was impossible not to come to him when he had a fever.
Open the door, but the person who comes is Hao Man.
Hao Man looks worried. “I heard you had a fever. How are you?”
“How is it you?” Xu Jiaye lay back on the sofa in disappointment.
Hao Man took out the medicine he had brought with him. “I’ll pour you a cup of warm water. You take the medicine.”
“No.”
“If you don’t like taking medicine, I’ll make you a cup of ginger tea, and if you drink it, you’ll sweat and get rid of your fever.”
“No.”
Hao Man was suddenly quiet for a long time. She said in a low voice, “Do you want to ask Chien Shih-yi to come before you take the medicine?”
“Ah Ye, you used to like me the most.”
Hsu Chia-yeh was lying flat on his back with his arm resting on his forehead, covering most of his face. His voice was muffled.
“I’m sorry, I don’t know.”
Hearing the uncertain answer, Hao Man suddenly became excited.
“She’s just my stand-in. You’ve been torturing her. You can’t like her!”
“You just got used to her presence. Now that I’m back, you’ll gradually forget her and get used to me.”
Xu Jiaye was silent.
Hao Man’s eyes grew cold. “Ah Ye, do you think Chien Shih-yi is so nice to you because she likes you?”
“She just used you as a substitute, just like you.”
Hsu Chia-yeh opened his eyes suddenly. “What do you mean?”
She had a first love for a long time and died in a car accident. He signed a human organ donation agreement before he died.
“And you had a heart transplant around that time.”
Boom. Everything on the
table was overturned. In the evening of the second
day, Hao Man suddenly contacted me and said,
“Ah Ye doesn’t want to take the medicine at all. Now he’s burning so much that he’s confused. Please come and persuade him.”
“No.”
Just hung up Hao Man’s phone, another call came in.
This time it was Ah Ye’s brother. Why are you so cruel? At least you’ve been with Ah Ye for more than a year. Now that he’s got a fever, don’t you want to come and see him?
I hang up.
Later, seven or eight phone calls came in, almost all of which were from Xu Jiaye’s brother who scolded me for being heartless.
But no one remembers how Xu Jiaye tortured me at that time.
Hao Man called me again. “Ah Ye just said his heart was hurting.”
I froze for a moment. “Send me the address.”
But when he found Xu Jiaye, he was sitting on the sofa intact.
Hao Man, including the brothers who bombarded me with phone calls in turn, sat around and looked at me with a good look.
It was Hao Man who spoke first.
“Did you believe it this time?”
Hsu Chia-ye’s face was livid, and the cup on the table was smashed to the ground.
“Chien Shih, how dare you use me as a substitute?”
I’m not surprised he knows about it, but I hate it when he jokes about the heart.
“Don’t do this kind of thing in the future. It’s childish.”
“It’s none of your business,” he said, patting his heart. “I can do whatever I want with what I bought with my money!”
Xu Jiaye seemed to lose control, and the whole person became ferocious and hysterical.
I knew he was paranoid in his bones. How could
he tolerate being used as a substitute by others. He’s the
only one using me as a stand-in.
He may retaliate crazily.
But I’m not afraid.
I have nothing left to lose.
I’m going to go.
Xu Jiaye picked up the teacup and hit it on my forehead without any mistake.
“Just wait, and you won’t feel better.”
There’s blood on my forehead.
I clenched my fist and finally let go and turned away.
Nanxi applied the medicine to my wound, complaining as she did,
“Is Xu Jiaye crazy? He hit me so hard.”
I was in a daze and didn’t speak.
“You’d better be careful these days. I’m afraid he’ll do something harmful to you.”
I nodded to reassure her.
Finally, Nanxi looked at me and hesitated to speak.
I smiled. “I remember I will go to Dr. Hsu’s tomorrow.”
Nanxi threw her arms around me. “Remember, you’re not the only one in the world. I’ll be with you no matter what.”
“You must get better soon.”
However, the diagnosis made by Dr. Xu was not optimistic.
Major depression is not getting any better.
Dr. Hsu’s brows almost twisted together. “You’re in worse shape now than you were last time.”
I don’t know what is the event that can destroy your spiritual support, but I hope it will never happen. If it does happen, I hope you can get through it.
I lowered my eyes. “Thank you, Dr. Hsu.” After I left Dr.
Xu, I began to feel uneasy for no reason.
When I got home, I found Xu Jiaye standing at the door of my house. There was a manic smell and a strong smell of alcohol all over
his body.
I ignored him and tried to open the door.
He pulled me over, forced the kiss down, and the strong smell of alcohol was overwhelming.
Some embarrassing memories come out of the cocoon.
My body began to shake uncontrollably.
Almost subconsciously, I took out the knife I carried in my bag all the year round. Point the
knife at his heart.
When I was about to stab, my chaotic consciousness began to wake up, and I stopped the movement abruptly.
Xu Jiaye also noticed that he let go of me.
Holding my hand holding the knife, a pair of blood-red eyes stared at me tightly, “Come on, stab here.”
I tried to withdraw my hand, but he took my hand and stabbed it in.
The knife has cut the clothes.
I pulled out my hand and said, “Hsu Chia-yeh, what are you crazy about?”
Xu Jiaye laughed and pointed to his heart. “Do you care about this?”? Do you think that as long as it’s still jumping, Su Yue will still exist in this world?
I tell you, he’s already dead! Su Yue is already dead!
“There was another person who received a heart transplant with me that day. He was the recipient of Su Yue’s heart.”
“And he, after the operation, had rejection and died!”
“Su and Yue have long ceased to exist!”
My blood congealed in an instant, and his words pierced my eardrums like a sharp blade.
My brain is buzzing and confused.
“Shut up, Xu Jiaye, you shut up..” I
didn’t want to listen to him anymore. I took out the key and tried to open the door.
But in any case, the keyhole is not right, the key once, twice, three times. Fell from my hand.
I numbly picked it up again and again.
Look, look clearly! This is proof that Su Yue did not exist long ago! Xu Jiaye threw all the paper evidence he found in front of me.
The words seemed to plunge into my eyes like a carving knife.
In an instant, something collapsed in my body. I
‘m an orphan, and I’ve always been alone.
Before, I thought my life would probably be dark forever.
It was Su Yue’s appearance that tore the crack and let the light in. With excellent
grades, he dragged me to make up lessons in the countdown, and abruptly promoted my grades to key universities. After
the college entrance examination, he estimated my score and chose my school and major for me. When the
admission notice came down, I knew that he had chosen the same school as me.
At that time, I was so angry that I cried. With his grades, I could choose a better university.
He just said that the major he chose had good comprehensive conditions in this school.
In order to let me have no psychological burden, he also took me to meet his parents, saying that his parents were very supportive of his choice.
I always thought I was holding him back.
So I also worked very hard in the university to get various scholarships. After
work, I also worked hard to get a regular quota in a big company.
I’m getting closer to Su Yue.
When happiness is within reach.
Su Yue is gone.
The lighthouse went out. It was only when I
learned that he had donated organs that my world was rekindled.
I think, as long as that heart is still beating, I can always stick to it.
But now everything has collapsed.
My eyes gradually became empty, and the words became distorted and huge in my eyes, and then swallowed me up.
My five senses began to dull. The picture of
Xu Jiaye shouting at me with red eyes seemed to be slowed down by silencing and played in front of me.
He grabbed my shoulder and shook me. He was shouting something.
I can’t hear you. It took a long time for the
sound to reach my ears, “Chien Shih, wake me up!”
Sober?
Wake up to what?
I’m awake.
I’m in the hospital.
Nanxi has always been with me.
Another man seemed to come to see me every day, but he was stopped by Nanxi.
I saw him from a distance.
I don’t know who he is.
I only know Nanxi.
Today he came again and was blocked by Nanxi.
But today seems to be a bit of trouble, in order not to let him see me, Nanxi was forced to go downstairs by him.
I ran to the leisure area to watch TV. The patient who
usually watches TV with me is already sitting there.
I only watch one episode of TV, and I like to watch the episode of the heroine jumping off the cliff over and over again.
At first I was worried that he would let me watch the next episode, but when I repeated the same episode, he just turned his head to look at me and said nothing. It’s still the same
today. I watched the episode of the heroine jumping off the building twice, and I was going to go back to the ward.
But considering that he can only accompany me to watch this episode every day, I decided to make up a story ending for him.
“After the woman jumped off the cliff, an old woman would pick her up and heal her wounds. When she recovered, the old woman found her beautiful, so she sold her to a brothel and made a lot of money.”
The man turned to look at me. “That’s not what you said yesterday.”. What you said is that the woman jumped off the cliff and fell halfway, and was taken to the sky by a crane to be the maid of Chang’e. Hou Yi took a fancy to the heroine because she was beautiful. When Chang’e found out, she hated Hou Yi for cheating on her wife, but at the same time she couldn’t bear to drive her out of the palace, so Chang’e killed Hou Yi.
I blinked. “Did I talk to you yesterday?”
He nodded.
“All right.”
I’m used to it. My brain can’t remember things.
I was called back to take medicine by the little nurse.
The little nurse told me, “Your friend seems to be arguing with that man down there.”
I swallowed the colorful medicine and opened the curtain to look down.
Nanxi was really quarreling with the man, and he looked very excited.
The little nurse said, “If you want to go down and have a look, I can go down with you, but only for a while.” I
shook my head. “No, Nanxi won’t let me go.”
The little nurse praised me, “You are the most obedient patient I have ever seen.”
Fourteen
floors down. With red eyes
, Hsu Chia-ye pleads with Nanxi, “Would you let me go up and see what the time is like?”
Nanxi looks at him coldly. “Even if you kneel down and beg me, it’s no use. Don’t forget, it was you who made Shih Yi look like this.”
Xu Jiaye closed his eyes.
He did not dare to recall the appearance of the day.
She did not cry or make trouble, but squatted on the ground calmly. Unresponsive
to all things outside, like a soulless puppet.
He had no idea that it would affect her so much.
He was just, just trying to make her sad, trying to make her as sad as he was.
Then let her know that he has nothing to do with that Su Yue, he is no one’s substitute, she can only like Xu Jiaye if she likes him.
Please, let me go up and see if it’s all right? I went to tell her that this heart was Su Yue’s. It doesn’t matter if she uses me as a stand-in.
Nanxi sneers: “The reason you retaliated against Shi Yi was because you felt that Shi Yi used you as a stand-in. You were very aggrieved and angry, weren’t you?”. Have
you forgotten that the time is also a substitute for your entertainment. You even tortured her. Do you know, do you know..
Nanxi’s eyes brimmed with tears as she spoke. “You called her in the middle of the night to let her go out and work for you, and it almost killed her!”.
A rainy night. A
drunken hooligan.
Alley.
Jane’s time is violated.
“If it weren’t for her obsession with Su Yue, she wouldn’t be able to live long ago.”
Nanxi wiped away her tears. “Are you happy that the time has come to be like this?”? Isn’t it nice to get revenge?
Then please get out! Don’t ever bother Shih Yi again!
Time to be violated..
Xu Jiaye kept shaking his head, staggering back, and finally his legs were weak and he fell directly to the ground.
Because he called her in the middle of the night to tease her to go out, he was violated.
I had a nightmare again. The man
who reeked of alcohol dragged me into the alley. I struggled desperately, but he became more and more excited.
Mixed with the rain, my clothes were torn. I shudder as the
rain falls on my skin.
I cried and prayed, “Please, will you let me go?”
Please.. I’ll give you the money, please..
But my crying, my begging for mercy, made him more and more excited.
He brutally ripped open the last of my coverings, then grabbed me by the neck and shook me.
The sickening smell of alcohol came down on me. The torture of being torn by
wild animals lasted for a long, long time.
I couldn’t cry out and lay numb in the dirty corner.
I’m dirty, too.
From the wee hours of the morning until the light of day.
Stop, start again.
Stop, start again. Again
and again. When
the beast finally left me, he spat, “Who let you wander around in the middle of the night? You deserve it.”
I wish I was dead.
……
“The time is right, the time is right..”
Someone kept calling my name.
I tried to open my eyes and saw Nanxi looking at me with red eyes.
“Are you all right?” She hugged me. Only then did
I realize that my face had been soaked with tears.
I said, “It’s okay, but I just had another nightmare.”. The dream I told you about.
Nanxi’s body stiffened. “It’s all right. It’s not true. It’s all a dream.”
I continue to receive treatment in hospital.
The man still insists on staying downstairs every day.
But he didn’t bother Nanxi any more, and Nanxi didn’t have to try his best to stop him.
I still go to watch the TV series where the heroine jumps off the cliff every day, and the man who accompanies me to watch TV is always there. Every day
I would rack my brains to make up a story ending for him, and he would always say to me, “You didn’t say that yesterday.”
I don’t care what I said yesterday.
I was in the hospital for a long, long time. For
a long time, I don’t like to watch the same TV series repeatedly, and I remember what I said yesterday.
I stopped making up story endings for the guy I was watching TV with, and he asked me,
“When are you getting out of the hospital?”
I shook my head. “I don’t know. Ask Nanxi.”
“What about you?”
He said, “About a week before you.”
“Oh.”
I cooperate with all treatments and take medicine on time.
On a very ordinary morning, everything came back clearly in my mind. After taking the medicine,
I looked down at the people who had come to stand guard day after day, and calmly said to Nanxi,
“Nanxi, I want to go down and make it clear to him.”
Nanxi was stunned for a moment, then her eyes turned red. “I’ll accompany you.”
I shook my head. “No.” By the time
I got downstairs, he had seen me.
But he didn’t dare to come over and just looked at me from a distance.
I call him “Xu Jiaye.”
He seemed to be immobilized and stared at me in disbelief.
“I have something to say to you.” It was a
long time before he started running towards me.
Not far away, and it was flat, but he fell twice.
He clumsily picked himself up from the ground and stood in front of me, panicking like a child who had done something wrong.
“Well, do you, do you remember?”
I nodded. “Maybe.”
He immediately admitted his mistake and slapped himself several times. “I’m sorry, I was wrong. I shouldn’t have done those stupid things from beginning to end.”. Will you forgive me now?
I shook my head and backed away. “I won’t forgive you.”. I came down here to tell you not to come here anymore. Let’s live our own lives.
But Xu Jiaye doesn’t seem to listen to what I say.
He still shows up downstairs every day.
I no longer pay attention to him and cooperate with the treatment every day.
I know the man who watches TV with me is called Gu Chengjing.
Since I stopped watching the same episode of the TV series, he occasionally brought me some strange gadgets to play with.
It’s weird, but it’s really fun.
Today, he brought some rubber figures that can stick on the wall and then turn down by themselves.
I threw six little people against the wall at the same time, propped up my chin and watched them turn down little by little.
I said, “Gu Chengjing, I can leave the hospital next week. You congratulate me.” “Congratulations,”
Ku said calmly.
“You should also take your medicine on time, cooperate with the hospital’s treatment, and strive to leave the hospital as soon as possible.” “I’ll be out of the hospital tomorrow,” says
Ku.
「…… No more playing.
Every time I play games with Gu Chengjing, he plays better than me.
I thought I could beat him in the matter of leaving the hospital, but I didn’t expect to fall behind.
Ku Cheng-ching looked at me with a smile in his eyes. “It doesn’t matter. I can come and pick you up when the time comes.”
“No, Nanxi can give me a ride.” On the day
I was discharged from the hospital, Xu Jiaye was watching downstairs with flowers.
He looks much more mature and stable.
Nanxi told me that he had recently begun to learn to take over his father’s company.
“Well, congratulations on your discharge.” Xu Jiaye came over and handed me the flowers.
Nanxi directly blocked me back. “As long as you don’t appear in front of the right time again, that’s the best blessing.”
Hsu Chia-yeh is still persistent. “If you need help in the future, you can come to me, and I will certainly help you.”
I didn’t look back and closed the door. I continued to recuperate
at home for more than half a year, and I planned to go out to find a job.
But after learning that I had a special medical history, every company replied to me,
“I’m sorry, Miss Jane, you may not meet our company’s recruitment requirements.”
Then I received a phone call from Hsu Chia-yeh, saying, “I heard you’re looking for a job. You can come to my company..”
“No, thank you.” I
hung up the phone and continued to send my resume. Nanxi asked me not to work too hard. At the worst, she would support me for a lifetime.
I smiled and pinched her face. “Thank you. I’ll send my resume overnight tonight.” Laughing and angry
, Nanxi stamped her feet and stressed, “I mean it!” After sending out
my resume for a long time without a splash, I finally got another call inviting me to an interview.
But I waited for a long time in the company conference room, but the interviewer did not come. Just
when I thought I probably didn’t have a chance, Gu Jingcheng appeared at the door.
“I’m sorry to have kept you waiting for a short time just now.”
I looked at him with wide eyes in surprise, and then I heard the man who followed him call him, “General Manager Gu.”
“Does Ku run a company?” The volume of Nanxi’s surprise almost overturned the company.
I drank milk tea and nodded.
“Then why is he in the hospital?” To be
exact, to accompany his grandmother. The one who was sick was his grandmother, who only let people like her in hospital clothes approach her, so he was forced to change into hospital clothes, and we misunderstood him.
“So, you’re in?”
I nodded. “Mmm.” In fact,
entering Gu Chengjing’s company is not so good. There are no secrets in the
company. I’ve only been on the job for a week, and my colleagues know my medical history.
But no one dares to embarrass me.
Because Gu Chengjing brazenly showed that he specially recruited me.
The only one who embarrasses me is Gu Chengjing.
He took me personally, and it can be said that he taught me everything, but he was also impartial.
I have been scolded by him many times.
“Have I repeatedly stressed the need to pay attention to this point? Why do I still make mistakes?”.
“Sorry, I’ll pay attention next time.”
“The damage has already been done. Dock you half a month’s pay as a warning. It won’t happen again.”
But I don’t hate Gu Chengjing. I can still tell
what’s good and what’s bad.
I know he is good for me, and under his strict teaching, I really grow up very fast. Cooking
for him is the apprenticeship fee he asked for.
I don’t remember how many meals I cooked for Gu Chengjing. I cooked sweet and sour short ribs for him after work today.
He ate a mouthful and frowned. “It looks like too much sugar. It’s too sweet.”
I brought the dish directly in front of me and said, “Do you like it or not?”
He looked at me and chuckled. “Chien Shih, you’ve got a lot of nerve.”
At first, when I cooked for Gu Chengjing, I was very careful to take care of his taste. Ask him if it’s salty or light
every time you make a dish, and then remember it silently and tell him to pay attention next time. I don’t care about him
now.
It’s after work, at work. Gu Chengjing.
He shook his head and laughed, but still ate all the sweet and sour short ribs, and then took charge of cleaning up the dishes and washing them.
The days go by day by day.
At the company’s annual meeting, I climbed the ladder and pasted ribbons in the office. The man who
held the ladder temporarily walked away to go to the bathroom. I didn’t notice it. I leaned back and the ladder shook.
I fell back with the ladder. There were screams in
my ears.
I’m in the hospital again.
Fortunately, the ladder was short and only caused bruises and bruises.
I sat in the consulting room waiting for my colleague to pay the medical fee and saw Gu Chengjing striding towards me in a hurry.
I didn’t have time to ask him why he came. Didn’t he go to another company for a meeting.
The man was suddenly hugged tightly. “Why are you so careless?”
I was stunned for a moment. “Let me hold you for a while,”
he said.
At that moment, all the voices in my ears seemed to be amplified infinitely, and I could hear the cries of the children and the scolding of the parents.
But I can’t seem to hear anything.
I reached out to push him away.
His hoarse voice rang out again, “Give me a chance, it’s time.”
“Let me chase you.”
I pursed my lips and tried to push him away.
He had taken the lead in letting go of me, and I realized that his eyes were red.
I whispered, “Do you know why I’m in the hospital?”
I’m really sick. I still have a lover that I can’t forget. “I have been violated.” I bit my lower lip. “I have been violated.” What
you see now is normal, but I’m not sure what will make me sick again. I’m full of holes, and I don’t deserve your love.
He raised his hand to gently cover my eyes. “Never put yourself down. As long as someone likes you, you deserve to be liked.”
“I like you, no matter what you are.”
I sniffed and my eyes were moist.
Fortunately, his hand covered my eyes at this time, so that I had a place to hide.
“Sorry.”
I said, “I haven’t put Su Yue down yet. If I stay with you, it’s not fair to you.”
He withdrew his hand and turned to rub my hair. “I was just chasing you, not making you agree to be with me right away.”
“If you’re ready to move on one day, remember to come to me, okay?” People come and go in the
hospital, and the noise is endless, but the corner supported by Gu Chengjing is particularly peaceful and quiet.
I nodded. “Okay.” There
will always be a spring when flowers will bloom.
20
Office building.
The assistant walks into Hsu Chia-yeh’s office. “Mr. Hsu, Miss Chien fell down the stairs and hurt herself.”
Hsu Chia-yeh stood up straight from his seat. “Which hospital?” He asked.
The assistant took out his cell phone. “Why don’t you look at this picture first?” In the consulting room of
the hospital, Gu Chengjing bent over and circled Jane Shiyi in his arms.
It’s like holding a treasure.
Xu Jiaye sat back dejectedly, hung his head, and did not speak for a long time.
The assistant reported, “Miss Horman is here again. Do you want to see her?”
‘Not seen. Tell her she can pay as much as she wants, as long as she never comes to me again.
The assistant nodded, “And, Mr. Xu, the report from the hospital has come out. Your heart condition is not very good at the moment. You still need to be hospitalized as soon as possible. Otherwise, it may affect your normal work and life in the future.”
No need. You don’t want to report this to my parents either.
“But General Manager Hsu, your body –”
Hsu Chia-yeh rubbed his aching heart and waved his hand to his assistant. “I know my own body. Have you found out about that man?
The assistant hesitated for a moment before he realized that General Manager Xu was asking the man who had violated Miss Jane.
“Yes, he was just released from prison a week ago, but it seems that he committed another crime and was sent to prison. This time he was sentenced to life imprisonment. It is said that he was.”
The assistant looked carefully at General Xu’s face. “It was General Gu’s handwriting.”
Xu Jiaye bowed his head with a wry smile, which was mixed with a choking cry.
The assistant withdrew from the office in silence.
After a long time, Xu Jiaye raised his head, tidied up his mood, and called him.
“Hello.”
“I’m sorry, Shih. Really, I’m sorry.”
Hsu Chia-yeh says, “You must be happy in the future.”
“And goodbye.”
(End of full text)
Record No.: YXX1O2AdxYCk2xlYnubPn8 Flowers of
Evil: Awakening and Redemption
in the Dark Dilemma Each Bottle
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