I was Li Liu’er, the crown princess who had been married to him for ten years, but after he ascended the throne, he only named me the imperial
concubine.
He tried his best to give me the greatest favor in the duty of a virtuous king. The queen regarded me as a sister
, gentle and quiet; I was afraid that Xiao Yu’an would be embarrassed, so I tried to get rid of my temper and learn to be a
gentle and sensible imperial concubine.
Obviously everything is so smooth, but fate, it does not depend on people.
(Finished)
“Look at this snow, Liuer. Does it look like thirteen years ago when I stayed outside your house waiting for you to look at
me?” The man in
front of me, wearing a gold-winged crown and a black dress, is Xiao Yu’an, the emperor of Dazhou
and my husband. In the Liuli Palace where I live
at this moment, the golden fragrance is huffing and puffing the Lily fragrance.
Xiao Yu’an knew that I was extremely afraid of the cold, so he specially gave me a pepper room and a thick Persian blanket. In
such a cold winter month, barefoot in the palace does not feel cold. At this moment, the snow outside was falling silently. Xiao Yu’an held me in his arms and leaned on the couch, looking at the snow outside with me
.
Xiao Yu’an’s eyebrows and eyes are picturesque, and my eyes are full of love for decades.
“The snowy night you went to my funeral?” As soon as I said that, I was hit hard
on the head by Xiao Yu’an.
You’re all imperial concubines. You can’t say such a thing. Tell me if it looks like it.
“Not like.” I shook my head seriously. “The snow that day was heavier than it is now, and there was a young
man standing outside like a snowman.”
“Or shall I go out now and stand again for you?” Xiao Yu’an raised his eyebrows.
“Before you go out, my father will definitely come to clear the king’s side with a knife.” With a coquettish hum,
I got into his arms and looked up at him by the light of the fire.
Xiao Yu Ansheng is good-looking, his eyebrows and eyes are sharp, and his long black eyelashes hang down a shadow under his eyes.
He looks like a gentle and modest gentleman.
My father is right. He is a virtuous king.
He picked up the big week of internal and external troubles thrown to him by the late emperor.
The former court put capable ministers in important positions, won over powerful ministers, was wise and forgiving, and treated brothers and feet kindly.
The harem married the daughter of the Lin family, a patriarch of three Dynasties, and Lin Yo-niang was the queen. Lin Yo-niang is a famous lady in the capital
. She is virtuous and virtuous. She manages the harem in a harmonious way. Apart from being weak and always coughing and panting, people can’t find anything wrong with her. The lanterns on the
table were knotted and dropped again, making a fine sound of beeping.
His chin gently rubbed my forehead. “You’ve been wronged, Liuer.”
I was Li Liu’er, the crown princess who had been married to him for ten years, but after he ascended the throne, he only named me the imperial
concubine. Shaking my head,
I couldn’t help laughing at the way he hurried to
pull me out of the Palace of Earthly Tranquility despite the presence of the empress.
“The empress is wronged. The ceremony of conferring the title of imperial concubine is much simpler than enthronement ceremony.
You can’t bear it.” Coughing all the time makes the empress lose face.
“I don’t care.” He actually had a little naivety of the past. “Just thinking..” You are so
wronged.
“My husband is the wisest king, but I can’t be a demon concubine like
Concubine Yang.”
He always said that there was no concubine in the harem who was as sensible as you and shared my worries.
Of course, he is my husband for ten years, how can anyone in this harem love
him more than I do? Still reluctant to embarrass him? As he said
this, he took out a wooden box of mother-of-pearl painted with gold aloes from his sleeve and encouraged me to open
it.
The pair of Dongzhu eardrops were so brilliant under the full candlelight that the snow outside turned pale. “How can I, an imperial concubine, wear the East Pearl?”
I hurriedly pushed the wooden box to him.
But he caught his hand, and he bowed his head and kissed me in the palm of my hand, which made my heart tingle.
“In Yu’an’s heart, Liu’er is my wife.”
The snow was falling quietly outside, and he buried his head in my neck, so gently that I could not resist
:
“Liu Er, give me another child. It’s not fair that Chao Yun is like you.”
“How can it be unfair that Chaoyun is not your child?”
He said such childish words again, which made me laugh and cry.
“Be like me this time.” As he said
this, his hand slipped under my dress.
I was getting up to push off, but he hugged me from behind and rolled me onto the thick Persian carpet
.
“So that’s why you laid the blanket!” I became angry from embarrassment.
“Don’t you like it?” “If I were a fatuous emperor,
” he asked with a wry smile, “I would have to let you know that I would have fun with you every day.”
He only bit the four words of pleasure, which made my face hot. Candle shadow flickering, long hair tangled, fingers interlaced.
He kissed me so passionately that my moans were broken before I could say them.
He called my name over and over again, grabbed my fingertips and put them on his heart:
“Hsiao Yu-an’s heart can only be divided into two halves. One half is written with the words” Great Zhou Cangsheng, “and the other half is written with the words”
Li Liu’er. ”
Without waiting for me to retort, he sealed my lips with a kiss.
I chuckled in my heart:
“That’s not the same for me. I, Li Liu’er, only have Hsiao Yu-an written in my heart.”
So what if it’s just an imperial concubine? I don’t care. The day
I met Xiao Yu’an was the most awkward time for him.
I never thought that the young man who stole the Buddha’s tribute was a prince. On Shangsi Festival
that year, I went to Qingquan Temple with my father, who was offering wine to the Imperial College, to pray for blessings for
three days.
At night, the mother and the elder sisters all slept.
I slipped into the Guanyin Hall and walked around the statue of Guanyin three times from the right. As I walked, I silently recited what I wanted in my
heart. According to the ladies in the capital, it was very efficacious.
“Disciple Li Liu’er, I want to ask when I can find a suitable husband.” The huge Guanyin Hall only echoed with my voice.
The right man. Lang Jun. Jun. The
hall was spooky, and I was a little scared on the second lap.
No, why is there a tip missing from the tribute under the Guanyin statue?
Mingming There were nine more just now.
Just as I was shivering and trying to escape with legs as soft as noodles. A pale hand reached out from under
the confessional table and caught my foot.
Without waiting for me to scream, I was pulled under the altar by this hand, and the tablecloth on the floor covered us
, and he covered my mouth.
“Who!”
It’s a novice monk on patrol.
The bottom is big enough for both of us, but small enough for us to be
close to each other.
Such a squeeze made me see his eyebrows and eyes.
His eyebrows and eyes were cut like a knife, and he had long black eyelashes, which covered his mind.
He was so bony that he put his arm under my rib and hurt me. “This rat is too arrogant.” The little novice monk shook his head and sighed.
I removed his palm from my mouth, raised my eyebrows and opened my mouth at him. “Steal, thief
, rat.”.
He pinched my fat face: “Little fat face, you miss spring, do not know shame.”. What
I hated most in my life was that people said I had a fat face, so I unceremoniously twisted his waist. When the
novice monk left, we were still curled up under the altar, pinching each other and twisting each other until midnight
, when we fell asleep unconsciously. Wang, the wife of the minister of history, who has been
seeking a son for many years, is kneeling down to pay homage to the goddess of mercy: “If I can get
a golden couple and a jade girl, I believe that Wang will be willing to match meat and vegetables all my life.” Time. Xiao Yu’an and
I just climbed out of the bottom with a dusty face. She was so
happy that she thought the Buddha appeared and took us into her arms with a blank face.
When she saw it clearly, she was dumbfounded and said,
“Three princes?”
Oh, so he is the palace maid born, father does not love the third prince Xiao Yu’an?
“The daughter of Li Chih’s restaurant, Liu’er?”
Xiao Yu’an’s face turned white. I know what
he’s afraid of. Because my father Li Zhongliang is the Imperial College sacrificial wine, but also the teacher of the princes, but I Miss Li
Liuer temper and love to complain, even the most favored big prince Xiao Qi’an also dare
not offend me. I will take revenge for
this face-pinching.
Dad! The third prince bullied me! I pretended to cry and ran into my father’s study to complain. When
my father heard my sobbing, he quickly put down the pen in his hand, but when he saw
my swollen face, my father was stunned:
“Your face was pinched by him..” Or have you gained weight again since you haven’t seen each other for a few days?
？？？
Dad! Take care of it!
“Okay, okay..” My father tried to suppress a smile, with a stern expression, “Cough..” Don’t provoke the princes
from now on.
“Clearly he started the fight!” My face is full of grievance.
“The other princes are fine. Hsiao Yu-an can never do that.”
Hum, my father is partial to Xiao Yu’an.
Later, Hsiao Yu-an told me that it was because I was so cute with a double bun and baby fat that
he was so obsessed that he stretched out his hand and pinched it, but he didn’t stop.
From then on, I didn’t deal with Xiao Yu’an, and I made him stumble in the open and in the dark. But I didn’t expect that Xiao Yu’an had learned the means of my complaint. My father always
answered my requests, but this time he punished me for not eating snacks for half a year.
My greedy eyes glowed green, and I tossed and turned without understanding: What’s good about Xiao Yu’an? Why does my
father like him? He liked it
from the day he entered school. On the first day of
school, all the princes sent a bundle, that is, the gift of the teacher.
In the past, the princes’ “bunches” were an eye-opener for me.
What gold inlaid jade ruler, snow wave gold and silver scraps rice paper, the most exaggerated is a pure gold
paperweight, as big as a brick, said the paperweight is really wronged it.
The gold brick was sent by the big prince Xiao Qi’an.
His mother was the most favored imperial concubine Ji Yuner, who was said to be the imperial concubine, but even the empress
had to swallow her pride in front of her because the emperor liked her. It is normal to be arrogant
in the harem.
So the big prince’s gift rides the dust.
Only Xiao Yu’an is different from others.
He sent a few pieces of dried meat, regardless of the ridicule of the whole room, bent over to offer
tea without distraction, and saluted my father.
He is neither humble nor pushy, just like the row of Hsinchu in the backyard, with a gentle gentleman’s strength of character. Later, my father told me, “Xiao Yu’an, given time, he will become a great man.”.
I don’t quite understand what time means.
My father said: “The year is cold, and then I know the pine and cypress will wither.”.
It was not until later that the late emperor, regardless of public opinion, insisted on making Xiao Qi’an, a big prince who could not become a climate, the crown
prince.
The princes died to remonstrate, and all the people drove in front of the road and wept. The
angry Ji Yuner threw four or five priceless vases and did not stop Xiao Yu’an from being
made crown prince.
A long time later, Xiao Yu read the memorial under the lamp until late at night, and I advised him to rest.
His eyes were bloodshot, and he was so tired that he said that he would be worthy of the ministers and
the people who had died.
Father is right. I married the right man. He is the best son in the world and the wisest monarch in Dazhou
.
But that was all later. Anyway, when I was eleven years old, the person I hated most was Xiao
Yu’an.
The maids used eggs to reduce the swelling of my face, saying that they should not delay the Dragon Boat Festival and the gathering
of the ladies in the palace. On the day of the
Dragon Boat Festival party, the lady next to me brought a sachet of wormwood and Atractylodes, but my mother was afraid that I was hungry, so
she put a rice dumpling in my sachet. The palace banquet was boring to death, and the ladies were all around Lin Yo-niang. She had a brilliant family background and was the
prime minister in three Dynasties. There was also the elder brother of the dragon and phoenix stationed at the border, but she was the first beauty
in the capital. The little sister who was close
to me said that such a seemingly perfect person as Lin Yo-niang must have some
dark thoughts that were not known.
I nodded, deeply convinced.
“Liuer, are you here?” At that time, Lin Yo-niang had not yet entered the palace as an empress. She was not
ill, and her face was full of the vigor of a young girl.
Hum, I don’t talk
to Lin Yo-niang who is more beautiful than me, more gentle than me, and taller than me.
“Liuer, have you eaten the cake that was sent to your house?” Lin Yo-niang smiled like a spring
breeze in March and touched my little face. “I see you don’t want any more. Don’t you like it?”? Then I won’t send it next
time.
Eat, eat! I really like that jujube cake!
I hate my greedy mouth.
Hearing what I said, Lin Yo-niang pinched my cheek with pity.
So I hate Lin Yo-niang, my chubby cheeks, there must be a
contribution from her cake.
The princes and nobles were on the opposite side of the waterside pavilion, separated from the ladies by a row of smoky green willows. They are all looking at Lin Yo-niang.
Only Xiao Yu’an is not among them.
No matter how hot the eyes on the opposite side were, Lin Yo-niang only turned her face sideways and chatted with the sisters.
It was not until the people in the hospital ordered Atractylodes and smoked wormwood that Lin Yo-niang
, who had always been dignified and quiet, blushed.
Is she the snake spirit Bai Suzhen? Afraid of wormwood and realgar wine on the Dragon Boat Festival?
I observed her secretly and found that she always seemed to go to see the doctor of the hospital. What is there to see about
Fang Taiyi?
Xiao Yu’an didn’t come to the palace banquet. I used the excuse of going to the toilet to find him, but I lost
my way at the gate of the cold palace and saw that it was dark. It
suddenly occurred to me that Mammy in the palace had told me that there were concubines in the cold palace who were not favored and died with hatred
, and that they would come out to find a substitute in the evening when Yin Qi was at its heaviest.
The palace is remote, with no one in front and back, and there are ghosts crying faintly.
The more I thought about it, the more afraid I became. I squatted under the wall and began to cry. There was a man standing behind
me, and his shadow covered me.
It must be the female ghost who is looking for a substitute to kill me.
“Why are you crying?” “Afraid of whine, don’t come over and whine..” What are you
afraid of?
Afraid.. Fear of death.
“Then look back at me.”
“Don’t look, don’t look. If I look, you’re going to kill me.”
No, why does that sound so familiar? As soon as
I looked back, I saw Xiao Yu’an with a dumbfounding face.
He suppressed a smile, his eyes filled with starlight, and I, a little crying
bag with misty eyes.
Later, we did not know how to reconcile, sitting on the steps of the side hall, the night was as cool as water,
we held our cheeks and looked at the stars in the sky.
“Goo goo goo..”
We both looked at each other’s stomachs and burst out laughing.
I suddenly remembered that there was a rice dumpling in the sachet, and hurriedly showed it to Xiao Yu’an.
I patted the rice dumplings with a proud look on my face: “Is it big?”! Do you like it?
Hsiao Yu-an’s face was dull, and he could only say, “Big, I like it.” But.. You put rice dumplings in a sachet?
“So you go to the temple and steal the fruit?”
Later, I learned that because of the establishment of the reserve, the discussion between the court and China was boiling. Ji Guifei was afraid of Xiao
Yu’an and poisoned his diet, but the rat ate it by mistake, and the rat died on
the spot. Hungry and afraid,
he remembered to steal the tribute.
After all, the tribute to Buddha is not poisonous.
I peeled the rice dumplings happily and gave half of them to Xiao Yu’an regardless of the past.
“In the future, if I have a bite to eat, you will have a bite.”
「……」 The expression on
Xiao Yu’an’s face was dark and unclear. He took the rice dumplings and lowered his eyes.
Those eyelashes are so good that he can hide what he wants to hide.
“Hey, what’s up?” I prodded him with my elbow.
The stars in the sky are bright, and our shadows are cast on the palace wall, one long and one short, and I am shorter than him
.
He lowered his head and took a bite of the sweet rice dumpling, then suddenly raised the
corners of his mouth. Ok His smile made my face suddenly warm up.
Why did I go to see
him secretly that night, just like Lin Yo-niang looked at Fang Taiyi?
I don’t understand.
But after that day, I became Xiao Yu’an’s follower.
The princes are all afraid of me, the crying bag and the complaining spirit.
Every time Hsiao Yu-an was bullied by other princes, I rushed forward like a protective calf and crossed
my waist. In Hsiao Yu-an’s words, I looked like a glutinous rice dumpling with fierce milk, but I said
the most powerful words
: I’ll sue the teacher!
The princes are wilting.
Not to mention them, even the emperor is afraid of my father and those mean historiographers. The two
of us spent two years without guessing until I was thirteen years old when I fell ill and had a
high fever for three days. The doctor said that I might not be able to save my life.
I was burning in a daze and dreamed that I was walking in a snowstorm, and the world was white
. There is a warm tunnel
ahead, which I can’t help but want to enter.
But there was a thin figure who held my hand and told me not to go. The snowstorm in the dream was so heavy that I couldn’t see his face clearly.
It’s just that the man is as strong as a bamboo, which reminds me of what my father said: “
I know the pine and cypress after the cold year.”.
It’s Xiao Yu’an. When
I looked back, I suddenly fell from my dream and woke up to find myself in bed.
The father was silent under the lamp, and the mother and sisters sat in a circle, their eyes crying like peaches
.
The elder sister found me awake first. She was stunned and then cried out in surprise.
The whole family surrounded me in front of the bed, and even the candlelight was airtight.
“I’m going out.”
My mother and father stopped me, saying that I was too weak to stand the cold.
“He’s waiting for me outside.”
Parents and sisters looked at each other: “Who?”?
I struggled to get out of bed.
They really couldn’t resist me. The elder sister held me and held an umbrella for me.
I supported my sick body, supported my elder sister, clenched my teeth and grinded to the door step by step. How could the short walk from my bedroom to the front door be so difficult that I coughed and wheezed violently after three steps
. When the
door opened, my tears fell down. The
snow stopped, and the light of the snow illuminated the sky and the earth.
The young man did not even hold an umbrella, but stood quietly at the gate of my Li
Mansion like an ice sculpture, covered with wind and snow.
His eyebrows and hair were all dyed white by the snow, and he looked like Cheng Men standing in the snow, hanging his head outside my house
.
He kept to the line and never crossed the line.
When he heard the opening of the door, he moved his fingers slightly and raised his eyes.
He saw me holding the door, burning on my face, red-eyed, gasping for breath, staring straight at
him.
He froze.
The world is so big. We see each other in our
eyes.
I stumbled down to see if I would fall in the snow, but he hugged me tightly
first.
“Liuer, Liuer, Liuer..” I had a bad cough, and panting, I told him to stay away from me for fear of losing his breath.
He held me in his arms as if he had found a lost treasure.
“We will not be separated, we will never be separated, okay?”
Everything is cold.
Only his bosom is hot.
I pressed my face against his neck and made him sigh softly.
I felt two drops of warmth in my neck.
Is the snow melting?
I don’t know.
The elder sister blushed and hurried to cover the youngest sister’s eyes.
My father’s mother was stunned at first, and my serious and old-fashioned father wanted to say something,
so she pinched his hand and shook her head.
The engagement was made.
The snow was so heavy that if we hadn’t held an umbrella, we would have dyed the snow white.
Later, on the day of our wedding banquet, relatives stood outside the bridal chamber and scattered ginkgo all the way.
Ginkgo hundred fruits, means old age, a hundred sons and a thousand grandsons. Holding the heavy phoenix crown, I complained to Hsiao Yu-an, “This is not right, and the mice
in the cave are not born like this.”.
Xiao Yu’an loved me and covered me with his sleeve so that I was not hit by ginkgo at all.
“How can you be so protective without drinking wine?” My sisters make fun of me.
“Liu’er is afraid of pain.”
He explained softly and blushed at the end. Xiao Yu’an, who
has always been a gentleman with strength of character and restraint, was so fond of his wife and afraid of his wife that people around him
burst into laughter.
I blushed with shame, but fortunately I was covered by a handkerchief and no one saw me.
Later, I thought that I should not hold an umbrella on a snowy day
if I had not been drenched in the fruit rain at that time.
Only then did I miss two white heads in this short half of my life.
Xiao Yu’an became the emperor, and the harem gradually became rich.
I have been his wife for ten years, and now I am a concubine. How can I not be angry? On the day after
Lin Yo-niang was sealed, I was unhappy. I picked up the glass lamp and thought about it and put it down. I picked up
the agate bowl and felt a pain in my flesh.
It’s all Xiao Yu’an’s fault! In the past, I was used to living a poor life with him, which made me stingy
when I became an imperial concubine. So when my mother walked into the Liuli Palace, I, the spoiled and arrogant imperial concubine, was useless. Cry
on the bed.
My mother sat down beside me and touched my head.
“When he was a child, he had a hard time because of Concubine Ji. Others didn’t know that, but didn’t you
?”
“He has suffered a lot. If you love him, you shouldn’t embarrass him.” I was stunned by
my mother’s two words.
I thought of Xiao Yu’an, who was skinny and hungry to steal Buddha cakes, Xiao Yu’an, who could
only give a few pieces of dried meat as gifts, and Xiao Yu’an, who was so poor that he bought
me snacks after marriage.
He would learn to make the bean paste cake that Lin Yo-niang used to make for me. When my father scolded me for not
acting willfully as a wife, he nodded his head and said yes, but when my father turned his head, he quietly pinched my
hand and winked at me.
He has suffered a lot, but he treats me like honey.
I cried even more.
But this anger can’t be eliminated for a while. When
it snowed heavily that day, I ferociously stuffed the glass lamp and the agate bowl into the package, clamoring to
leave the palace. Xiao Yu’an came in a hurry and hugged me from behind in the moonlight
. Just like that snowy night.
We were so deadlocked that our shoes and socks were soaked with snow.
I tried to push him away, but he was like a childish child and refused to let go.
“Didn’t Liu promise me that we would never be separated?”
“I will spoil Liuer, and I won’t let Liuer be wronged.” The frailty in
his tone softened my heart.
Back to the Liuli Palace, he rubbed red ginger water on my feet for fear that I would get frostbite
after standing in the snow for a long time.
“You don’t have to pay your respects to the empress anymore, Liu’er.”
He treated me so well that I felt uneasy.
Yes, he will spoil me, protect me, I should not let him embarrassed, since it is the imperial concubine
, I will learn to get rid of the former young lady temper.
So not long after Lin Yo-niang was established, I went to her palace for the first time to pay my respects to her, carrying a
box of cakes.
The concubines thought that I had poisoned the cakes, so they quickly claimed that they were ill and fled in a hurry. The concubines of Chu, who
had always worked hard and lived simply, ran away with their embroidered shoes and did not dare to look back to pick them up. Just as
I was wondering why I had such a bad reputation, Lin Yo-niang told me: Because Xiao Yu’an spoils me too much, they are afraid that if I am so spoiled, I will become the next imperial concubine, who will harm the emperor’s heir and abuse the concubines in the harem. There was something indescribable in my
heart. I put down the cake and said nothing.
“I know that you have never been such a person.” Lin Yao-niang sat beside me and gently stroked the side of my face. “I’m sorry, Liuer. I can’t help it.”
Lin Yo-niang really had no choice. Her family had been in charge for three Dynasties. She had a good family background and was more dignified and generous than me. She also had a brother who was fighting in the north and could share Xiao Yu’s worries.
She had no choice but to marry Xiao Yu’an in order to make Xiao Yu’an and the Lin family feel at ease.
Her guilt is also true. The day
Lin Yo-niang entered the Palace of Earthly Tranquility, her body weakened.
She always had a cough, and every day the concubines were exempted from paying their respects, and even every month, the days when emperors and empresses slept together were given to me.
She did what the queen should do, managed the harem in good order, no one was jealous, and there was nothing dirty in the harem.
Other than that, she doesn’t care about anything. If she was free, she would only take care of the rose vines and the lush oleanders on the walls of her palace.
At this meeting, Lin Yo-niang and I were as close as we used to be when we were children.
Xiao Yu’an also felt indebted to me, so he tried to make up for it.
Our only daughter, Chaoyun, who was only ten years old, had already been given a title, a princess mansion, and a rich fief. Disregarding my position,
he gave me the East Pearl Pepper Room, and the reward flowed into the imperial concubine’s palace like the sea, which made my last little jealousy disappear.
He tried his best to give me the greatest favor in the duty of a virtuous king. I have
read the stories of many gifted scholars and beautiful ladies, and I think the truth in the world should be like this:
I am an imperial concubine who is spoiled and arrogant but has no bad thoughts.
As for Xiao Yu’an, he either changed his mind and pursued his wife again. The crematorium compensated me in every way, or he was a fatuous monarch who loved beauty but not rivers and mountains. He protected me to ride roughshod in the harem, and finally dismissed the harem and me for a lifetime.
Lin Yo-niang, on the other hand, was gentle and quiet, but in fact, she was greedy for splendor and wealth. She was insidious and ruthless. With a kind of concubine in the harem, she tried her best to pour dirty water on me. Finally, the matter was exposed and she left in disgrace.
But it’s not.
Xiao Yu-an was affectionate and tried his best to give me the favor he could give. Lin Yo-niang regarded me as a sister, gentle and quiet. I was afraid that Xiao Yu-an would be embarrassed, so I tried to get rid of my temper and learn to be a gentle and sensible imperial concubine.
Obviously, everything is going so well. So that later that snowy day, I lingered in bed, sick into a thin bone, also did not want to understand
:
no one harmed me, Xiao Yu’an has never changed his mind.
Why is it like this. All
this began to change with the spring epidemic three years after Xiao Yu’an ascended the throne. There was a plague in the south
that year, and no living person could be seen for thousands of miles around. The bodies were piled up
into hills, and if they were not buried, it would be a disaster. Fang Qianhe of the
Imperial Hospital is young and promising, and he is good at curing epidemic diseases.
Once upon a time, when Lin Yo-niang and her mother went back to their mother’s home, they also contracted a disease. Everyone thought that they would not survive,
but they asked Fang Qianhe to cure them.
Xiao Yu’an ordered Fang Qianhe to go.
The epidemic stopped, but Fang Qianhe died of the disease.
Because of the hot weather, the body had to be buried in the south in a hurry. On the day of the news of
Fang Qianhe’s death, the grass and trees grew in the early summer, and the flowers and shadows swayed in front of the window Palace of Earthly Tranquility.
She told Chaoyun and I to sit at the window at the south end and stay away
from the oleander in the north.
Cheapskate, I don’t care that you robbed my Xiao Yu’an, but you are afraid that I will destroy your Oleander
shelf. I held Chaoyun in my arms and ate the bean paste cake made by Lin Yo-niang.
They heard the eunuchs running around telling each other the good news:
“The epidemic in the south has been brought under control!” Where is
Fang Taiyi? Are you back, too? A maid of honor asked.
Lin Yo-niang’s scissors for pruning peony suddenly stopped, and she smiled.
Fang Taiyi.. He, he died of illness. The eunuch’s tone drooped. The cake in
my hand stopped.
Lin Yo-niang’s smile froze.
I don’t remember how I walked out of the Palace of Earthly Tranquility with Chaoyun. On the drizzling second
day, I went to Xiao Yu’an’s study with an umbrella.
Lin Yo-niang was so kind to me that I couldn’t bear it. I went to ask Hsiao Yu-an,
“Yu-an, Fang Tai-yi..” But what is there to say?
As if he had known what I was up to, Hsiao Yu-an wrote in beautiful handwriting on his desk:
“I have lived up to my trust.”
“Just these four words?” Xiao Yu was silent, as smart as he was, how could he not know what was on Lin Yo-niang’s mind.
He was not angry, but because it was not sordid, and even pitiable. Xiao Yu’an and
I have long understood that there are many people in the world who can’t help themselves, and we are lucky to be able to accompany
each other.
Xiao Yu’an is a gentleman, Lin Yo-niang is a gentleman, Fang Qianhe is a gentleman, and I am probably
a soft-hearted gentleman.
I led Chaoyun on the way back to the palace. Chaoyun raised his baby’s fat face and asked me,
“Mother, will the empress’s illness get better?”
I touched the head of the cloud: “
Yes, but you have to spend more time with the empress, she treats you very well.”.
Later, the Oleander tree shelf in her backyard was burned overnight.
Later, her illness got better, and a year later she gave birth to a big prince with eyes like Xiao Yu’an
and a nose like her.
Many years later, she said sorry to me, but she was disheartened and wanted to die that day, but Chaoyun
stumbled into her arms and acted like a spoiled child with her, which made her reluctant.
She is such a kind and gentle person, for fear that I will be separated from Xiao Yu’an. On the day
she gave birth, Hsiao Yu-an wanted to accompany me, but I said, “Yu-an, you can come to accompany Liu for 364 days a year, but not today
.”
Xiao Yu’an lowered his eyes, thought a little, and kissed my forehead.
He said, “You have become sensible, Liu Er.”. For the first time,
he praised me for being sensible, which made me happy-he found that I was changing for him.
Then he hurried to Palace of Earthly Tranquility. I took Chaoyun by the hand and watched his guard of honor.
On that day, the whole palace celebrated, and fireworks were set off for three days. The reward also made the eunuchs laugh
until their faces were sour.
Chaoyun was in my arms, looking at the fireworks outside. Suddenly, she raised her face and asked me,
“Mother, when Chaoyun was born, did she ever let off fireworks like this?”
No.
At that time, he was just a poor prince and could not make such a big battle.
Seeing that I was silent, Chaoyun felt uneasy. She looked at me earnestly with a pair of black and white watery eyes
.
“Mother, although Chaoyun is not a man, he can do his best. In the future, he will ask them to set off fireworks
for his mother.”
I smiled and touched her head, but I didn’t take it seriously. Chaoyun is still young, she does not understand, I am not jealous of Lin Yo-niang has fireworks to see.
I just feel a little lonely.
Once upon a time, Xiao Yu’an and I didn’t have fireworks to watch.
At that time, he was the third prince who was poor and not favored.
But we would snuggle up to each other and look at the stars.
I didn’t take Chaoyun’s words to heart, and the days went on.
When Chao Yun was twelve years old, he chased Lin Nian, the son of Lin Yo-niang’s brother, all day long, clamoring for him
to teach him how to bow.
Lin Nian was seventeen years old, and he learned a good bow from his father, the general.
“I hate Lin Nian, but the way he shoots an arrow is somewhat pleasing to the eye.” Chao Yun’s eyes are full
of the girl’s worries that she doesn’t know.
Really? The father moved him farther away. Xiao Yu’an winked at me.
No, Father! I I’m just not so.. I like him, but I can’t say I hate
him! As if running away, Chao Yun grabbed the bow and arrow on the table, lifted the beaded curtain, and ran out. “Stop
talking, there’s riding and shooting in the afternoon. I’m going to look for him!”.
Chaoyun fled, with a crisp sound of panic in the bead curtain. Xiao Yu’an and
I looked at each other and smiled. When Lin Yo-niang heard what I said, she covered her mouth with a smile and said, “I only think Lin Nian is talking alone, but
she lives in two places and is in love with each other.”
I discussed the marriage of Chaoyun and Lin Nian with Lin Yo-niang.
But Xiao Yu’an had a hard time this year.
There was a severe drought in the south, and the national treasury was short of money for disaster relief. There were also victims
fleeing from famine who colluded with each other, and there was a faint posture of rising up.
There is the invasion of Kui Mo in the north. Kui Mo is a tribe in the north. He doesn’t do farming. If he is short of rations in winter
, he just loots the people in the border area of Dazhou.
If there is only one, you can deal with it by grinding your teeth.
But internal and external troubles put him in a dilemma. There was a severe drought in
the south, and I returned the previous rewards and told him to stabilize the victims first.
He praised me for being sensible again and hurried to the Palace of Earthly Tranquility.
Although I am also jealous, after all, he has stayed in Lin Yo-niang’s place for many nights in a row.
But I can’t help being sensible, because Lin Yo-niang’s fathers are going south for disaster relief, and her brother
is killing the enemy at the front, so I can’t chill the Lin family.
My mother’s family is weak and can’t help. How can she be self-willed and embarrass him?
Although I want to understand, I still feel sad. I thought the hard days were like winter, and I could just grit my teeth.
Too bad it’s not. The matter of the
victims is up in the air.
Not long after, the news that Lin Ruhui, Lin Nian’s father, had died in the North also came in.
Fortunately, defeat can also be negotiated. It snowed heavily
that year, and Duodun, the envoy of Kuimo, came to Chang’an.
Xiao Yu’an’s face was ugly, and at the palace banquet, all the people in the palace kept their voices down.
“Kuimo is not a savage tribe. We also wanted to make friends with Dazhou, but Dazhou
didn’t like us, so we went to war and hurt the harmony.” Dorton rolled his eyes slyly
. “We don’t want to make trouble,” he said. “We just want to marry a princess and
make friends between the two countries.”
I was startled.
That night, Xiao Yu stayed in my Liuli Palace.
He didn’t necessarily come for the kiss, but it made me unhappy. The snow outside the
house was silent. In the past, we always said love words and could not be quiet for a moment. Now
we sat opposite each other and had nothing to say.
The candlelight reflected his tired, thin face, and he hesitated about how to speak. This hesitation made me understand.
“Do we have to get married?” I said softly, “Can’t we fight?”
“How do you know..” He was surprised.
“Or would you come to my Liuli Temple?” My words have a sting in them.
“Liuer, are you blaming me?” He frowned.
“You say Chaoyun looks like me. Are you willing to let me go to the North?”
“Liuer, I’ll think of another way..”
He tried to grab my hand, but I dodged coldly.
In this harem, I’m afraid I’m the only one who dares to treat him with such a cold face. Can’t
we fight? When you read the books of the sages, don’t you know the truth of cutting five cities today and ten cities
tomorrow? Then what? Today is my morning cloud, but what about tomorrow? If you want me
as an imperial concubine tomorrow, will you hand me over?
I’m like a female leopard protecting her calf, hysterical.
“You can’t say that to me!”
His face was cold, and his whole body was suddenly covered with a layer of pressure, like a basin of ice water, which poured me
thoroughly.
Yeah, he’s not here to talk to me, he’s here to inform me. I lived with him day and night for more than ten years. He never called himself me in front of me. I only called
him Yu An. I almost forgot that he was also the emperor of the Zhou Dynasty.
Just now, I said how treacherous, the words of the nine clans?
“Think about it.”
He dropped only one sentence and drove back to the palace. It was snowing heavily outside
that day, and I couldn’t keep him.
He’s right, and I’m right.
He was the emperor of Dazhou. He was worried about the suffering of the common people and cared about the common people.
But he has Lin Yo-niang and numerous concubines in the harem.
But I only have Chaoyun.
I had a cold war with Xiao Yu’an for three days. He hasn’t stepped into my glazed palace
these three days.
Three days later, when the snow stopped, I hesitated to give in and discuss it with him again.
I brought some glutinous rice snacks, hoping that he would remember that when we were young, we disliked
each other so much, but because we ate a glutinous rice dumpling, we tied the knot.
I hope he remembers the past. But when I got to his study, I relented.
The memorial was piled up on the table like snowflakes, and Xiao Yu’an sat in silence in the memorial without saying a word
.
His face was thin, and his eyes were bloodshot. When he saw that I was coming, a trace of joy flashed through his eyes.
My heart hurts, but I can’t help it. Chaoyun is our only child.
“I’ll think of something..” His voice was hoarse. “Think again..” It’s not that
he’s too cruel to come to my Liuli Palace, but he’s trying to find a way.
But we all know that there is no way.
I brought out the snack in silence.
The long princess! Princess Long! Be careful of the wind! The eunuch outside urged him
, “Get up quickly and go in to talk.”
Chaoyun is outside?
I ran out with Xiao Yu’an and saw my Chaoyun kneeling outside the hall.
Chaoyun knelt straight, dressed in a bright red wedding dress like a battle flag, hunting in the north wind.
She kowtowed deeply to me and Hsiao Yu-an. When she raised her head, her eyes sparkled: Chao Yun was born in Heaven and enjoys the worship of all the people. If Chaoyun alone can avoid two wars and the suffering of the
people, Chaoyun is willing to go.
Xiao Yu’an is wrong, Chaoyun is not like me, like him.
Her backbone was as straight as a torch facing the wind, and her mouth was full of all the people in the world. Suddenly, she was Xiao
Yu’an, who had been a teacher at the beginning, with a clank gentleman’s strength of character.
I quickly helped her up, but she refused to get up and said coquettishly to me,
“Mother, Chaoyun is tired of the square walls of the palace and wants to go to the north to have a look.”
This sly and coquettish look is like me again.
“All right, mother? Chao Yun wants to go.”
「…… What about Lin Nian? My heart is sour.
She was stunned for a moment, and immediately her face was filled with the unruly expression of the long princess:
“Lin Nian?”? But for the moment, I don’t like him anymore.
Chaoyun is so sensible that it makes my heart ache.
I was cruel to ignore her, but she stayed in my arms and said,
“Let Chaoyun go, mother.”
“Chao Yun is just getting married. It’s not that he won’t come back.” My Chaoyun is married.
On an ordinary winter day, there is no wind, no snow and no sunshine. It was Lin Nian who
escorted her to the north.
Chaoyun looked at him several times as if nothing had happened.
Since the death of his father, Lin Nian more silent, he did not look back at her, only staring at the clouds in the sky
, eyes full of worries.
My Chaoyun looked at Lin Nian with the same eyes as I looked at Xiao Yu’an.
This little liar is full of dislike.
Chaoyun got on the horse, and the red disappeared around the corner with the continuous guard of honor, and my tears
fell down.
The wind was so strong that everyone turned to go, but I still stubbornly stood on tiptoe and watched.
“Go back, Liuer.” Xiao Yu’an went to hold my hand.
I turned around in silence and quietly wiped away my tears.
Said to go back, but I couldn’t resist looking back again.
As soon as I looked back, I was stunned.
My Chaoyun, dressed in a bright red wedding dress, rode back from the corner like a leaping
flame. When Chaoyun got off his horse, he threw himself into my arms like a swallow in a forest. Her hair was disheveled, and the hairpin rings
on her head tinkled. Ignoring the stunned eyes of the people around her, she whispered in my ear,
“My father can’t bear to part with Chaoyun, but only Chaoyun can go to Dazhou. The sisters beside him are too young.” Not
yet sensible.
“Mother, don’t be separated from your father. You will still have morning glow, morning dew, and countless
days and nights.”
“Only, only don’t think about Chao Yun.”
My Chaoyun is too sensible to shed a drop of tears.
My heartache can not breathe, only crying clinging to my Chaoyun, I know, this
farewell, goodbye is difficult.
And! Father! When Chao Yun gets married today, you’re going to set off fireworks for four days!
On horseback, she smiled openly, dropped this sentence, and left.
It turned out that Chaoyun was still thinking about the day when Lin Yo-niang gave birth to the big prince, and fireworks were
set off in the palace for three days.
“Although Chao Yun is not a man, he knows how to do his best, and in the future he will ask them to set off fireworks for his mother
to see.” I only took this sentence as a joke, so she always remembered it. After four days of fireworks in
the Heavenly Palace, Xiao Yu’an held me in his arms and leaned against the window to watch quietly
.
He apologized to me, saying that he was upset by the heavy government affairs a few days ago, so he said a little too much. “Lin Yo-niang’s elder brother was killed in battle, and her father’s generation was in the south for disaster relief, so I had to..”
He is so wise that I can’t hate him.
“Now that Chaoyun is gone, we should also give Chaoyun a younger brother and sister.” He lies on my neck
, not without tenderness.
“Are you as sensible and well-behaved as Chao Yun and I?” My heart still hurts.
He didn’t hear what I meant, but said tenderly, “If you were as clever and sensible as you are,
of course it would be great.”
I can’t get over it and please him.
Two silences.
Hsiao Yu-an seemed to know that I was upset. He just hugged me from behind and sighed softly,
“Liu Er, how about we be an ordinary couple in the next life? There are only you and me, and we don’t have to marry our
children.”
My eyes were slightly sour, and although I didn’t forgive him, I nodded.
“Then I’ll be a poor scholar in my next life, and you’ll be no more beautiful than me.”
“Why am I so beautiful?” I wonder.
“Because if you’re too good-looking, you’re sure to look down on me as a poor scholar.” He grabbed
my hand and said, “Then the poor scholar went to take the imperial examination, and you sewed clothes for me. Later, when I won the Number One Scholar, I brought you here to enjoy a happy life. I governed the country and regulated the family, and you felt at ease
to be your Number One Scholar’s wife..” Aren’t you enjoying a happy life
now? Aren’t you Hsiao Yu-an’s wife
now?
I sneered, and an embarrassed blush appeared on his face. “
Well, well, then I’ll be an ordinary hunter. I’ll cut firewood and hunt every day. If there’s a day outside.” When
the enemy invades, you embroider battle robes for me.. Why are
you so obsessed with serving your country? Don’t you think about me?
I pulled down my face and tried to pull my hand out, but he held it tightly first. He looked at
me
ingratiatingly. In my next life, I’ll be a fatuous monarch like my father, protecting
you like he protects Concubine Ji.
Then there will be a poor Xiao Yu’an in the world, hungry to steal tribute from the Buddha Hall.
I can’t bear it. “If
you become a fatuous monarch, I won’t like you any more.” Xiao Yu’an, whom
I love, cherishes the world and cannot be a fatuous monarch.
“That..” He scratched his head in embarrassment. Finally, I resigned and sighed,
“Forget it. In the next life, we will still be mice in the Buddhist temple. In order to beg me to marry
you, you went to the Buddhist temple to steal tribute to please me.”
Knowing that I was talking about our first encounter, Xiao Yu’an’s face also rippled with a smile, and the candlelight reflected his
gentle face.
“Yes, the mouse is fine.” I’m not afraid of being laughed at when I
say it. Is this the only promise of the emperor of the Great Chou? Where is
a good mouse spirit?
“Hundred sons and a thousand grandsons, isn’t that how the mice in the cave are born?”
He was talking about the day we got married, which meant a hundred sons and a thousand grandsons. There was a narrow smile on
his face again, which made my face hot. The lights flickered in the first
room, and the snow outside was so beautiful that it looked like that winter night.
Tell me to forgive him again. Many children were born in
the harem.
My stomach is still not moving.
Lin Yo-niang’s son, Xiao Xuguo, grew up day by day and became more and more like him. The Lin family in the court began to put pressure on Xiao Yu’an slowly, telling him to set the foundation of the country early and make Xiao Xu the
crown prince. At the end of
that autumn, the weather had the chill of early winter. When I was relaxing
in the palace, I suddenly felt heavier than usual, so I went to the rockery and sat
down for a rest.
When I sat for a long time and felt tired, I heard the sound of struggling water and crying for help.
Man overboard? The man who
fell into the water was Xiao Xuguo. Without thinking about it,
I jumped into the water to save him. Although
I am a good swimmer, I was pulled by him and choked a few mouthfuls of water.
In the early winter, the lake is bitterly cold. Holding back my abdominal pain,
I tried my best to pull the unconscious Xiao Xuguo ashore.
I curled up and shouted with my teeth shaking.
Finally told me to wait until Xiao Yu’an and a group of doctors came in a hurry.
“Yu An..”
Seeing his figure, the great sense of security made my eyes wet. I’m afraid of pain and death. I’ve been afraid since I was a child.
But when he shows up, he reassures me.
I thought he would comfort me, hold me in his arms, and even thank me for saving his most wonderful son
.
But he didn’t.
He walked away from himself, his heart and eyes full of Xiao Xuguo.
He didn’t even give me a look.
I was stunned.
Xiao Xuguo’s face was blue, his teeth were trembling, and he was delirious.
Lin Yo-niang’s face turned white. Crying, she took Hsiao Hsu-kuo into her arms. “How could this happen?”?
How did you end up in the water?
She shouted so unintentionally that all the people around me looked at me ambiguously. Why are
they looking at me like that?
Do they suspect me of attacking Xiao Xuguo?
But my stomach was so painful that I clenched my teeth and broke out in a cold sweat, unable to say a word to defend
myself.
“Send the imperial concubine back to the palace to cure her.” He did not give me a look from beginning to end, but dropped such a sentence. Does
he suspect me, too?
I clenched my lower lip and curled up on the ground in pain, dressed in a gorgeous imperial concubine suit, which was now covered with
mud and blood. In
the Liuli Palace, the Imperial Physician, who had never met me before, hurried to feel my pulse. He has been
with me for more than ten years, but he is not by my side. Before
I lost consciousness in pain, the last words I heard were from the Imperial Physician:
“The child is gone.”
Is it? Did Xiao Xuguo not come back? How sad
Lin Yo-niang and he must be. Will
they think I killed Xiao Xuguo? Will
they hate me?
A room filled with the fragrance of medicine, I woke up faintly and felt dizzy.
Xiao Yu’an held my hand in silence. What’s that look in
his eyes? There is debt, there is regret, but there is no hate?
I thought of the speculative look in the eyes of the crowd just now, and hurriedly looked up at him: “Yu An, it wasn’t me, I didn’t hurt him..”
He was still silent, which made me panic.
“Yu An, you believe me..”
“He looks so much like you. How can I hurt him?”
Yu An.. You believe in me..
Please.. Trust me..
I almost begged, but he only lowered his eyes and did not look at me.
Silence is disconcerting.
“I know it wasn’t you, Ryule.” He spoke with a hoarse throat and difficulty. Little by little,
my tears came up: he believed me!
“Yu An, don’t be sad. Blame me for saving him too late, or he wouldn’t have died..”
“He’s not dead.”
“The Imperial Physician said..” I was stunned.
“Our children are gone..” He clenched his back and tried to suppress his trembling shoulders
. What did
he say? Our children? Could it be the abdominal pain and blood just now. No, my letter came?
It’s our baby that’s gone..
I gawked at my lower abdomen, never thought that Chaoyun’s younger brother and
sister had come here.
「…… We will have it again. Xiao Yu’an comforted me.
Because Xiao Xuguo is a popular prince, he is like Yu An, with a gentle and pure character. If such
a person becomes a prince, it will be good for Dazhou and the world. There is only one
Xiao Xuguo.
So he hurried to save him.
And our children will have in the future, go a Chaoyun, go another, there will
be again. I
didn’t dare to think about it. I just asked him,
“If the doctor had saved me just now, wouldn’t our child have died?”
He couldn’t look at me. I knew it in my
heart, and I even smiled. When
he saw me like this, he was embarrassed: “You just take good care of yourself. We still have a future
..” Without even waiting for me to answer him, he got up and left in a hurry.
He left because the eunuch came over and said, “Your Majesty, the big prince is burning again.”. In the
early winter evening, the sky is gray. The snow
outside began to fall slowly, like light catkins.
The room was not cold, the charcoal fire was the best, and there was a little fragrance of osmanthus.
He probably felt that he owed something, so he left on his front foot, and the back foot of the reward drifted into the glazed hall
like the sea.
I leaned against the cushion, thinking carefully about the past ten years between me and Xiao Yu’an, and unconsciously
shed tears.
In the past, when he made me unhappy, he only changed his ways to coax me slowly.
He said, “Liu’er is afraid of ghosts and death, but he is different. He is afraid that I will be unhappy.”.
I know Xiao Yu’an still loves me.
I just don’t know if he’s afraid I’m not happy. For a
whole winter month, I lay behind closed doors.
Waking up is sitting in tears, sleeping sometimes choking in dreams, for a long time,
I do not know whether I am awake or asleep. I
lost weight, and the baby fat that I used to worry about how to lose gradually faded. Lin Yao-niang felt guilty and brought Xiao Xuguo to visit her, but she was rejected by me.
Xiao Yu-an felt uneasy and tried many ways to coax me. I didn’t say a word, just staring at the
bed curtain.
“Do you want to go home and have a look?” He looked at me ingratiatingly.
“It doesn’t make sense..” I lowered my eyes.
“As long as you’re happy, Liuer.” He kissed my forehead guiltily, and he was excited to see that I was not as far away as
I had been a few days ago.
He noticed a flash of light in my eyes and allowed me to go home to visit my relatives.
Even if the second day is Lunar New Year’s Eve, according to the rules, the concubines to the whole palace reunion, ShouSui New
Year, has never allowed the old rule of the imperial concubine’s New Year visit, even if the first emperor so longitudinal season
imperial concubine, also did not have.
He’s still afraid I’m not happy. Raise a little hope in
my heart.
I was in a good mood and didn’t tell my mother that I was going home. I wanted to give them
a surprise.
I carefully selected some of the treasures given by Xiao Yu’an.
The South China Sea pearl necklace is given to the mother, the thousand-year-old ginseng is given to the father, and some silks
and satins and novel jewelry are given to the sisters. Seeing me hesitating to pick and choose, like a rat hoarding grain in winter, Hsiao Yu-an just
spoiled him with a smile:
“Do you want me to arrange some more people for you?”
I refused him, and went quietly out of the palace in a carriage.
I haven’t completely forgiven him yet.
I haven’t been home for a long time. I don’t know how much my parents will miss me. Will my stuffy and stubborn
father be so excited that he will cry on the spot? My mother will definitely cook in person, and then
my father will be nagging that she has spoiled me.
I also want to complain to them that Xiao Yu’an bullied me. In the
carriage, I just thought so, and I couldn’t help laughing.
The wheels rumbled through the fresh snow, and there was no one in the street but my carriage
.
Family reunion, I can also be reunited.
I knocked on the door of my house.
“Who is it? It’s Chinese New Year.” My father spoke first.
I deliberately did not answer, and my smiling eyes were about to narrow.
I have to hold back and wait for my father to cry first. I made up my mind to wait for the door to open and see them crying with joy.
The door opened.
I saw my father and mother with shocked faces, their lips mumbling and trembling, unable to say a
word.
My mother even squinted at me to see if I was her son.
I stood under the lantern and looked at them carefully. They were old and had white temples.
It was I who could not hold back, and my eyes were red. I cried and laughed,
“Father, mother, Liu’er is back.”
Mother was stunned and hesitated to look at her father’s face. “What are you doing back here?” The
father asked in amazement.
“Hsiao Yu-an allows me to return..”
I thought my father was too excited to ask me this question.
“Are you at odds with the emperor?” Mother looked at me worriedly.
“I didn’t. He was the first..”
Don’t be capricious! Go back and admit your mistake! Father’s face was cold.
“I didn’t..” I feel wronged in my heart.
“Go back and admit your mistake!” The father’s tone was full of criticism. “Even if you’re not wrong, you can’t be so arrogant and willful!”! How can a concubine return to her mother’s house Lunar New Year’s Eve?
“Think about Liuer and listen to Liuer..” Mother tried to lighten the atmosphere.
I think about her. Has she ever thought about herself, about the Li family? She has acted so willfully and recklessly, and now the emperor favors her and lets her go. If one day this favor is gone and she falls from a high place, won’t she be crushed to pieces?
My father’s stern tone made me shiver, as if waking up from a dream.
Yes, I married not an ordinary husband, but the emperor of Dazhou.
“In the past, when I married her, I told her not to be as capricious as she used to be at home. Now..” The father heaved a deep sigh and burst into tears. “Liu, go back and admit your mistake..”
“Liu’er, go back quickly!” My mother’s eyes were wet, and she quickly pushed me out, saying, “Don’t upset the emperor.”
My mother’s face was full of worry, and my father’s expression of hatred made me unable to defend myself. Don’t
you all listen to me.
I Have
I ever been self-willed.
From being an imperial concubine under others for ten years, to my morning cloud for a big Monday night, to my child for his child’s life. Have I, Li Liuer, ever been self-willed?
I just felt so depressed that I couldn’t breathe, and I couldn’t even shed tears.
Family reunion, silence.
I sat in the carriage and went back the way I came.
The carriage arrived at the palace gate.
“You go to celebrate the festival, and I’ll come down for a walk.”
“Imperial Concubine, this..”
“I’m used to staying here in the palace. It doesn’t matter.”
I rewarded the eunuchs who drove the car with some wine money. I am such a wayward imperial concubine that they
can’t have a good holiday.
I walked slowly and came to the cold
palace where Xiao Yu’an and I were sitting and eating rice dumplings.
He was a good emperor and never treated his concubines harshly, so the cold palace was really deserted.
I sat at the gate of the cold palace, looking up at the stars and listening to the wind passing through the palace wall.
Now that I think about it, I used to be so afraid of death, so afraid of ghosts in the cold palace.
Now I’m not afraid. “The whole family is reunited in the palace, but the imperial concubine has gone home?”
“You can’t talk nonsense about the imperial concubines in the palace. If the emperor hears about it, he will be severely punished.” The nuns on duty in the
cold palace also take a break to drink on New Year’s Eve.
It turned out that Xiao Yu’an was so protective of me that he forbade the palace people to talk about me.
I smiled softly, ready to get up and go back to the palace, and make up with Xiao Yu’an tomorrow.
Mother and father’s worries are justified. I still want a child.
After all, in the past, when Chaoyun was there, I was never afraid of a cold war with Xiao Yu’an, and Chaoyun would always face
me.
“The imperial concubine is really pitiful. Princess Chaoyun died, and she had it again, but who knows she didn’t
save it..”
“The imperial concubine is so kind-hearted and good-natured. Why does heaven treat her so harshly?”
“The whole palace is hiding it from the empress. Don’t talk nonsense. You’ll lose your head.”
I was stunned. What did
they say?
Chaoyun is dead?
“Princess Chaoyun is really pitiful. She just went to Kuimo. Kuimo’s son forced the palace to kill his father, and even
the princess..” I listened eagerly against the wall.
At this time, fireworks were set off in the palace, and I didn’t hear anything except the roar in my ears.
When I broke into the cold palace, two or three old Mammy trembled and knelt on the ground, full of words of mercy
.
“Get up and speak slowly.”
“Princess Chaoyun was killed by a thief’s sword.”
“That’s all the maidservants know. Empress, spare my life.”
Is it my Chaoyun?
I walked out of the cold palace in a trance. I couldn’t hear the sound of crying and kowtowing for mercy
behind me.
Princess Chaoyun died under the thief’s knife.
This sentence gouged out my heart over and over again, making me breathless with pain.
Is it my Chaoyun?
Is that the Chaoyun who fell on my knee and acted like a spoiled child to me?
Is to tell me not to be sad, she will strive for Chaoyun? Is it the Chaoyun
who is still thinking about me and telling me not to be separated from Xiao Yu’an? The fireworks in the
sky exploded one after another, making the imperial city bright and bright.
The whole palace celebrated, the palace banquet opened, and the sound of laughter and music floated to my ears. Family reunion outside the
palace, firecrackers crackled and exploded a string of flames, the excitement of these two places all
shut me out, and had nothing to do with me.
I stood outside the cold palace and found myself unable to take a step with heartache.
I leaned against the wall of the cold palace and slid down slowly.
“Mother, Chao Yun will do his best to let them set off fireworks for her to see.”
Chao Yun was born in Heaven and was worshipped by all the people. If Chaoyun alone can avoid two wars and the suffering of the
people, Chaoyun is willing to go.
“Let Chaoyun go, mother.”
“Mother, don’t be separated from your father. You will still have morning glow, morning dew, and countless
days and nights.”
“Only, only don’t think about Chao Yun.”
“Chao Yun is just getting married. It’s not that he won’t come back.” It’s
not like I’m not coming back. This little liar.
Chao Yun. I will cry and laugh at Chaoyun. It’s clear that he will never come back. Never
again.
The original grief to the extreme, even tears can not fall down.
Xiao Yu’an, why did you hide it from me?
Or do you, like everyone else, think I hate you. When did
I ever hate you?
I’m just sad that we can’t snuggle up to each
other and survive the loss of our son like a normal couple.
I even wonder, when Chaoyun died, did you have any pain?
You won’t hurt. You are Xiao Yu’an, the emperor of Dazhou. You have Xiao Xuguo and many princesses
and princes. They fear you and love you like Chaoyun.
But I, Li Liuer, only have Chaoyun.
And now Chaoyun is gone.
I trust you so much, and I can’t bear to see you embarrassed.
You said the queen couldn’t be me. It doesn’t matter. My mother’s family is weak, so I can’t help you
. You said you could only kiss. It doesn’t matter. My Chaoyun is also sensible. We will have other
children.
You said that your Xiao Yu’an’s heart is divided into two parts, one is me, one is the common
people of Dazhou, it doesn’t matter, who let me marry is not an ordinary man, is the emperor
of the world.
You give me splendor and wealth, give me the only special favor, give me everything I don’t want.
You used to praise me for being smart and witty, but now you only praise me for being sensible and clever. Don’t
I want to be a spoiled and arrogant imperial concubine, relying on your favor to act recklessly?
I want to, but I don’t want to.
Because I have seen Xiao Yu’an who suffered hardships in his youth, Xiao Yu’an
who worked hard for state affairs under the lamp, and Xiao Yu’an who had no alternative, so I am reluctant to part with him.
From the beautiful clothes, to the special favor of the pepper room, and then to the honor of the East Pearl.
I still miss the time when I sat here with you and ate a rice dumpling.
That kind of youth time will never come back.
I sat outside the cold palace, and the north wind of the night cooled my heart a little. The
horizon was white with fish Maw, and I faintly heard the doors of the palaces open, laughing and congratulating the New Year.
I stood up and walked slowly back to my Liuli Palace. The
distant sun rises little by little, and the gorgeous morning glow disperses little by little. Never a good thing is not firm, and the colorful clouds are easy to scatter and the colored glaze is crisp. Here’s
the thing. I’m
sick. I’m very sick. I always vomit blood.
The Imperial Physician was on duty day and night, and the fragrance of the medicine in the Hall of Glazed Glass was still there all day long.
They are arguing about my illness.
“The empress is suffering from a cold wind, and evil spirits have entered her body.”
“This is the last time I fell into the water and had a convulsion. I haven’t recovered from my old illness.”
Whatever they say, the medicine will be ready and handed to me.
I just stared at the bed curtain.
Take medicine also open mouth, eat also open mouth, but I still visible to the naked eye thin down.
Xiao Yu’an came several times, but he only held my hand and choked.
Liu’er, we’re not fine.. What’s the matter..
Yeah, we’re fine. What happened.
He told me that the man who pushed Xiao Xuguo into the water was sent by him, because the Lin family
was deeply rooted in the court and put pressure on him. In order not to make the Lin family suspicious, I was deliberately snubbed on the day I fell into the water
, but I didn’t want to harm our children. He told me that he hid the news of Chaoyun’s death because he was afraid that I would be depressed.
I love him so much that I don’t embarrass him. He is clever and sensible.
He also loves me so much that he thinks about everything for me, and the rewards are piled up into a hill and ashes.
We are trying our best to love each other. Why is that?
Wise as he was, he even learned from the fatuous monarch and asked the Royal Guards to collect new things for me, offering
a reward for the funny troupe, just to make me show my face and give him some eyes. As
his wings grew, the former court dared not say a word to me. What a trick
he was in the front court! Now he only begs me to look at him more.
His face was thin and his eyes were black and blue, because he stayed by my side
without sleep these days.
I can’t be cruel to him after all, but I can’t love him. It’s too hard to
love him.
“Yu An..”
Hearing me call his name, Hsiao Yu-an’s eyes were tinged with hope:
“Say it!”! Liuer, what do you want? I’m listening!
I suddenly felt that we were all a little sad. He always thought I wanted something, but I didn’t want anything
. The snow outside was falling, which reminded me of more than ten years ago.
「…… I feel like I’m dying. I looked at the snow outside quietly.
Don’t say such things! You’re not gonna die! We still have many days and nights ahead of us, many years
to come! He took me in his arms with red eyes and choked.
I shook my head gently. “No, not to mention day and night. I don’t want the next life.” There
will be.. There will be! Didn’t we agree in the next life that you should be a beautiful mouse
spirit? In order to beg you to marry me, I will steal the Buddha’s tribute. Liuer, there will be an afterlife
.
His eyes were full of pleading, and I just shook my head gently.
This life is too bitter, and I don’t want it in the next life.
He seemed to have made up his mind and said with difficulty,
“… …” I will abolish the queen, dismiss the harem, and spend my whole life with you.
It turned out that he actually knew what I had dreamed about before.
It’s just that he’s a virtuous king, and I’m sensible, so I can’t do such a ridiculous thing.
“Sister Lin and the sisters didn’t do anything wrong. They gave birth to children for you, and they were trapped in the
palace. Don’t say such a thing to chill their hearts.”
“Don’t embarrass them. Treat them well.” Xiao Yu’an was stunned, holding my hand and bowing his head in silence.
For a long time, two drops of warmth fell on the back of my hand.
Did he cry, or did I cry? It doesn’t matter.
Xiao Yu stayed with me for three days, and then Mount Tai trembled, and he had to go to heaven to repent his sins
.
Looking at the back of his hasty departure, I suddenly understood the reason I couldn’t figure out before:
Why do we try our best to love each other, but still end up like this?
About old age, in addition to affection, but also a little luck.
I don’t have much luck.
He just left, and Lin Yo-niang came. Her eyes were
red and swollen, and she came to see me alone without a maid.
Lin Yao-niang tried to hold my hand, but when she touched my thin bones, she couldn’t help sobbing
:
“My sister used to be greedy for the jujube cakes I made, and she ate them until her face was round. I don’t know how cute
they were.”
Really? Did I ever have a past like this? “Sister, I’m sorry.” Lin Yao-niang kept wiping away her tears with a handkerchief. “I
don’t want to stand among you, but I can’t help it.”
Outside, the sky was dark, and the snow shone brightly, illuminating the glazed hall.
She held my hand and talked slowly about our past.
“I was taught to be dignified and steady when I was a child. I was never in charge. I only became self-willed once, and then I
killed him.”
She’s talking about Fang Qianhe, I know.
“The oleander I planted Palace of Earthly Tranquility was planted on my own initiative, and the oleander pollen always
makes me cough.”
No wonder she told me to stay away from the Oleander Rack.
“We never crossed the line or even said a word more, but my mind still
killed him.”
“He didn’t die of the plague. My father killed him.”
I wanted to die, but Chaoyun broke in. She was so sensible and lovely. I
wondered if life would be easier if I had a child with me.
Lin Yo-niang murmured her tears.
Dressed in luxurious silks and satins, the makeup was wrapped in a heart that had already withered.
You.. Have you ever blamed me? I just felt very tired, too tired to speak, and shook my head.
“He has always loved you.” Lin Yo-niang’s face was full of guilt. “Liu Er, you have to get better
..”
I’m not getting better. I know. The snow
outside was falling slowly, which made me see the snowy night more than ten years ago in a trance.
At that time, I had a high fever for three days, and I was dying in a daze in my dream, which was very
similar to what I feel now.
I was about to die, and I tilted my head and coughed up a big mouthful of blood.
Liu’er? Liu’er? Lin Yo-niang panicked and quickly got up to call the Imperial Physician. “Imperial Physician!”! What about the Imperial Physician
? I
grabbed her sleeve as hard as I could and tried to say,
“Sister..” When will Hsiao Yu-an be back?
He’ll be back in three days, Liuer, and you’ll see him! It will!
Really? Three days later? So he won’t come tonight. As I
struggled to hold on, I smiled at Lin Yao-niang.
“Sister, I’m fine. I just want to eat the jujube cake you made.”
“Well, well, my sister will go back to the palace to get it for you, and you wait for her.” Lin Yo-niang’s tears fell on my hand, and she tried to wipe them away and got up hurriedly
.
She pushed the door open and stumbled out.
Watching her leave, I was relieved and let my body sink. It was snowing heavily
outside, and the sky was silvery white. It’s
like a snowy night when I was thirteen.
It’s just that there won’t be another teenager standing outside the snowstorm waiting for me to wake up.
Postscript:
The names of the Xiao family are in the order of the prosperity of the country and the peace of the people.
My father’s generation is called Xiao Yu’an, and my name is Xiao Xuguo. In the first year
of Dazhou Hongqi, I received what my father left me, a prosperous and peaceful Dazhou. When
his father ascended the throne, the people of Dazhou were depressed, suffering from internal and external troubles. He tried his best to make
the people live a stable life.
In my memory, my father was wise and refined, and he was always calm in the face of change.
But the day the father came back from Mount Tai to worship heaven, it changed. My mother cried like a tearful person
that day. She had never been so demure as to lose her temper.
She asked me to go out, and I thought my father had bullied my mother, so I sat outside the door and listened quietly.
“Did she leave a word for me?” The father’s voice trembled.
Mother was only silent, suppressing sobs. Who is she in the
mother’s mouth?
Somehow, I thought of a gentle and lonely figure, but I could not remember her
appearance.
Probably because she was always sick and stayed at home.
The father came out of the palace of his mother’s concubine, as if he had aged a lot in a day.
The father emperor used to be diligent in politics, but now he even ignored his own body and threw himself into politics
all night, worrying his mother.
Later, when I became the crown prince, I was old enough to choose a concubine.
The flowery ladies stood in front of me, shy and timid, not daring to look up at
me.
Only Liu Shangshu’s youngest daughter, Liu, opened her eyes wide and looked at me curiously,
trembling with the tassels on her head, which made my heart move.
I want to choose her. But my father gently restrained me. He told me,
“Don’t choose the one you like best for the palace.”
I don’t understand: “Why?”? I will love her and spoil her, and shelter her from the wind and rain in this palace.
Father emperor shakes his head only: Say to keep out the wind and rain, but this wind and rain is you bring to her. What
my father said is wrong. Didn’t he and my mother love each other and respect
each other all their lives? How can I not see any wind and rain?
I didn’t listen to my father, so I chose the youngest daughter of the Shangshu family.
I will take good care of her, will give her harem unique special favor, how can let her face the wind
and rain, die?
Father is confused, how can there be a story in the world that two people love each other, love each other deeply, but end up miserable
?
I’ll protect her.
My father abdicated and gave Dazhou to me. As
he grew old, he began to forget many things. The palace people who
took care of him all knew that his father loved to eat rice dumplings and cakes for the Buddha.
“Liu’er.”
My father often pronounced this name. The new palace people did not know that it was the name of the former imperial concubine.
His father died on a snowy night, and when the palace people found him, he was sitting at the gate of the cold palace.
A shoulder wind and snow, beard and hair are white, look serene. After the death of
my father, the historian sorted out the history books of the former Dynasty and gave them to me to read.
His father was merciful, forgiving, compassionate and accepting in his lifetime.
Harsh as historiographers, but also can not pick out half of his mistakes, this history of the first half of life to see
, colorful.
Only in the latter half of his life after his abdication did his father indulge in burning amulets and making alchemy all day long, seeking immortals and asking for medicine. Historians
said that he was “dizzy.”.
History books also mention that Lin Nian, the eldest son of his uncle’s family, became a general and
never married in the north.
The general, who was feared by the Kuimo people, had a name: General
Chao Nian.
Some people say that he was thinking of his father who died for the former court. Others say that he was devoted to the country and would not
change his mind. Others say that the general once liked a girl
with the word “court” in her name.
But Lin Nian is dead, and these statements are not known.
And because of his cruel character, Kui Mo surrender soldiers, regardless of the old and weak, will be killed, leaving no survivors. History books write too harshly about him, saying, “He is really ruthless and resolute, his nature is lonely and cruel, and he does not show mercy.”
Finally, there are different opinions about the fact that the father worked diligently for the people in the first half of his life, but indulged in the ways
of gods and Buddhas in the second half of his life.
Some people say that the father is afraid of death, some people say that the father is afraid of losing power, some people say that the father is afraid of
the suffering of the people.
They all guessed wrong.
Father, he is afraid that there is no afterlife.
