Did you finally confess your
secret love? Confess your love.
I liked my brother for many years.
My elder brother, Chen Chih-yi, is the pride of his parents, and even more so of what his relatives and friends call “other people’s children.”.
His character is gentle and pleasant, his academic performance is outstanding, and he is the object of everyone’s praise.
But I’m the only one who thinks he’s a little smart. He has two faces. On
the one hand, he is clever, on the other hand, he is rebellious.
Mother said that he was just reserved and did not like to talk, but I found that his silence was a kind of extreme gloom.
I didn’t grow up with him as a child. He was only sixteen years old when I came to this house.
My mother said that I was an extra child, in order to avoid family planning, so they sent me out after I was born. The day
I arrived home, the brother I had never met before didn’t leave a good impression on me. After
my parents introduced me warmly, my brother Chen Zhiyi glanced at me and went straight back to his room without a word of greeting.
Mother said he was angry because he was jealous and suddenly there was a sister in the family.
I can understand that.
After all, no one likes to share what they have with others, let alone the love of their parents.
The house is not big, and I was arranged next to Chen Zhiyi’s house.
It used to be a storage room, the room is small, the only good thing is that the window faces east, you should see the sun in the morning. Chen Zhiyi knocked at the door when
I packed my luggage in the small room and wondered whether I should go out to help my mother cook.
He put a plate of fruit on the table and looked at me quietly.
I felt uncomfortable, smiled awkwardly, and stammered, “Brother.”. Instead
of responding to me, he looked at it for a while and then looked at the textbook on my desk.
Are you in the ninth grade?
“” Mmm. Which school do
you want to go to? When I
first heard that Chen Zhiyi was a top student at the city’s experimental middle school, I said ingratiatingly, I want to go to the experimental middle school.. Is it difficult? He could not hear any emotion when he
spoke. He said lightly, “I don’t know. I was recommended.”.
」「……」 Okay, forget I asked.
To tell you the truth, I don’t like being so close to this strange boy.
The room was small, and he had long legs and long arms, which made him even more cramped and depressed.
I made an excuse to go out: “I’m going to help my mother cook.”. I read the word
“mom” in a very vague way, and I was afraid that Chen Chih-yi would be even more unhappy when he heard it.
She can handle it all by herself.
“Then I’ll set the bowls and chopsticks..” You don’t have to.
Chen Chih-yi had no intention of leaving. He looked down at me and asked, Now that you’ve gone home, are you going to change your surname?
Change your last name?
？
？
My adoptive father’s surname is Xiang, and his name is given by him. Naturally, my surname is also Xiang.
He was a southerner, and he gave me a single name, the word “south.”.
In fact, my adoptive parents were very kind to me. If there hadn’t been an accident and they had died in a car accident, I might have lived with them for a lifetime and never come to Chen Zhiyi’s home. For
no reason, I’m a little afraid of Chen Zhiyi. My
voice was very low, and I said timidly, “I haven’t changed.”. It’s a lot of trouble to change the name
now, just.. Chen Chih-yi seems to be very concerned about this matter: “Then you can change it back.”.
Since you are a member of my family, you should take my family name.
」「……」 I am not only afraid of Chen Zhiyi, but also a little speechless to him.
At such a young age, why do you pretend to be a bully here?
Return your family? Don’t abandon me
if you have the ability.
But I was too disgruntled to speak out. What
do you like to eat?
Chen Chih-yi asked.
All right.
Everyone has different tastes and preferences, and they are bound to have different preferences for food.
You always have a favorite.
Love to eat.. Sweet foods.
Cake or something. I like it better. As
he spoke, Chen Chih-yi glanced at me, consciously or unconsciously.
He’s probably checking to see if I’m fat. What hobbies do
you usually have?
This brother looks very cool, but why are there so many problems?
The future is long. Can’t you ask slowly later?
Having learned the lesson of “all right,” I had to answer seriously: “If you like, you can read books, watch TV dramas, and occasionally write calligraphy.
I also like to play mobile games, and I play everything. Can
you also write calligraphy?
“” a little.
But I can’t write with a soft pen. I write with a hard pen. As if interrogating a prisoner,
Chen Chih-yi said, What else? Where to play
on weekdays?
I stay at home and don’t go out. Do you have many
friends?
I was wringing the corners of my clothes and was about to sweat on my forehead when asked: Not much, one or two close friends.
Chen Chih-yi didn’t ask any more questions this time, but paused for a long time.
I mistakenly thought he had finished asking, and when I wanted to ask him something to ease the embarrassment, he suddenly said, “Do you have a boyfriend?”?
Come on, big brother, are you making a mistake? I’m not even 15 years old. What kind of boyfriend am I talking about?
Besides, even if I talk, I won’t tell you directly.
I shook my head. No.
“” Mmm. As if satisfied with the answer,
he finally gave up and said, Let’s go to dinner together.
It’s a relief. When he turned to go out,
I took a deep breath and relaxed the muscles and bones that had been tense for a long time.
He turned around and looked at me doubtfully.
I quickly laughed and laughed, “This small room is quite hot.”.
“He took one look and said,” Ask Dad to install the air conditioner for you tomorrow.
No, no, that’s not what I meant.
I mean, it’s warm. I like it. Don’t bother.
He stopped and looked back at me, very close to me.
His voice came from above my head, “This is your own home. Don’t be shy.”.
You’re not bothering them. That’s what they do.
They should do anything for you, because they owe you.
“I..” I didn’t know how to deal with his words. I looked up in a panic and saw that my father happened to come out of the kitchen with a dish and froze in place.
Chen Chih-yi looked at my father with me and suddenly smiled, “Dad, don’t you think so?”? When
he smiled, the corners of his lips were curved, not at all as he had hated a moment before.
Yes, yes, yes.
Dad nodded wildly.
Nannan’s room is too small. Change with me.
He walked toward the kitchen. I heard everything he said to my mother. Mom, Nannan likes sweets. Didn’t you have a membership card for the cake shop downstairs before? Is it still there?
I’m stiffer than my father at the kitchen door.
My brother’s face changes so quickly. Having been
with Chen Zhiyi for a long time, I can really understand why his parents and even his relatives and friends like him.
He is too sensible.
Why do you say “yes”?
Because I think he pretends to be sensible and is used to please his parents.
But at first, we all misunderstood Chen Zhiyi. The silence of the
first meeting was not that he was jealous of my arrival, but that he had a lot of opinions about my parents abandoning me.
Chen Zhiyi is very good to me. After I
was admitted to the experimental middle school, I became Chen Zhiyi’s school sister. Closer
to his life, I heard more rumors about him, but most of them were praise for him.
After all, who doesn’t praise a straight A student? There is
also his “black material,” saying that he has a bad character and is very indifferent to people. There are
even rumors that “Chen Zhiyi is sick,” which came from his gossip girlfriend.
What kind of disease? I don’t know. After
I came, Chen Zhiyi insisted on coming to my room to do his homework in the evening, which was euphemistically called a big room.
The room is quite big. I can’t beat him. I changed the room with him.
One day he came back late and came to my room again.
The two of them wrote for a while. I used my brain a little too much and couldn’t help chatting with him: “Brother, have you ever had a puppy love?”? I’ve wanted to ask
this question for a long time.
On the one hand, Chen Zhiyi’s gossip girlfriend is the campus beauty, and I really wonder if they have talked about it. On the other hand, many girls in my class like Chen Zhiyi, and they ask me to inquire about it.
He glanced up at me.
I was still a little afraid of him. I shrank my neck and smiled. “Well, I’m just gossiping. I won’t ask. I’ll do my homework.”. Sure enough,
he didn’t answer me. He glanced at me and lowered his head to calculate the problem carefully again. Just ignore it
, and I will bow my head and continue to do my own problems.
I have a bad habit of biting my nails when I think. I can’t stop.
I was biting my nails and trying to figure out a solution, and I felt a chill on the side of my neck. Looking up
slowly, I suddenly saw Chen Zhiyi looking at me deeply, as if he had looked at me for a long time. Embarrassed,
I put down my hand and explained my foolishness. “The doctor said there was a zinc deficiency.”.
Chen Chih-yi did not speak and stared at me without blinking.
His eyebrows are high, the bridge of his nose is straight, and he looks very three-dimensional. It is precisely because of this that his eyes will become deep and deep, and he is very bluffing when he looks at people. I
was so frightened by the sight that I moved my fingers uneasily: “Brother..” He suddenly reached out and took my hand and wrapped it tightly in his palm.
His hand was so strong that it hurt me, but he didn’t mean to let go. “I don’t think you’re zinc deficient,”
he said jokingly. “You’re shortsighted.
I’ve never been led by a boy like this, and I can’t even talk about it.
Holding hands is at least gentle, but Chen Zhiyi hurt me.
But I didn’t dare to resist and let him hold it.
He put down the pen in his other hand and leaned over. “Xiang Nan, your ears are red.”.
“I..” No one can make a joke so insidious, but Chen Chih-yi can: “My face is also red.”. My
heart is pounding, and I think it’s going to explode.
Chen Chih-yi joked to the end: “I haven’t had puppy love because I’m sick.”.
I felt desperate. It’s the gossip girlfriend who talks about his illness
at school, not me. Why are you playing crazy with me here? “Why don’t
you ask me what’s wrong with me?”?
Is there any illness that your girlfriend can’t bear?
I couldn’t help but think about it-not at such a young age. Can’t do it?
That’s really an unspeakable secret.
I pretended to be confused and said, “What disease?”?
I still don’t believe Chen Zhiyi can tell me directly that he has lost his manhood.
Holding my hand five fingers tight, Chen Zhiyi faintly: “You talk to me not to know?”?
“” Huh?
Talk about what?
Chen Chih-yi looked at me without explaining. The moment I
understood what he meant, my head thundered.
He really, really scared me.
If my parents hadn’t slept, I would have scolded them.
He actually let me fall in love with him. Forget it, it’s boring.
He let go of me.
I thought he would pack up his things and go back to the cabin next door, but he picked up his pen again without changing his face and went on to do his homework.
I didn’t know how to react for a long time, but he said lightly, “Nannan, if you are not my sister, I will chase you.”. When he had finished
speaking, he looked up again and put on his usual well-behaved appearance. He smiled gently and said, I’m just kidding. My brother has always been your brother, and he will protect you all his life. I was
so dizzy that I couldn’t tell which of his words was true and which was false. After finishing his
homework, he packed up his things and went back to his room. He stood up and touched my forehead. “Good night, little girl.”.
“My voice was so difficult that I was frightened.” Good night.
This night, I couldn’t sleep. Tossing and turning
in the quilt to think of Chen Zhiyi’s cold and joking appearance, thought for a long time, but also could not think of the reason why he did so. When
Chen Zhiyi said he was sick, I felt that he was not laughing at himself, but admitting it.
He won’t really.. No, right?
That will be hard for the future sister-in-law. When I fell asleep in the
early morning, I thought, I don’t know if he has normal physical needs, if he can have children, if he can live as a husband and wife.. The deeper the dream gets, the more ridiculous I think.
I don’t know whether it was a dream or a dream, but I vaguely saw Chen Zhiyi’s appearance.
His hand was cold, the same temperature as when he held my hand.
He gazed at me, his eyes brimming with water. “Nannan, if you weren’t my sister, I’d chase you.”.
He leaned over to kiss me, and the moment I saw his lips fall, I woke up with a start, sweating. Insects and birds are chirping
outside, and it’s almost dawn.
I heard my mother frying eggs in the kitchen, and then I heard Chen Zhiyi’s footsteps coming.
He knocked on my door, pretending to be a good son that his parents would like to see: “Nan Nan, get up.”. You’ll be late for
sleep.
I’m afraid this has been the most shameful thing for me for more than ten years. I dreamed that I was with my own brother. Since then, I can no longer look directly at Chen Zhiyi, and the more outrageous is that I pay more attention to him than ever before.
Every night before he went to bed, he would take a shower on time. The water in the bathroom was noisy. I was stuffy in bed and felt upset.
I have seen Chen Zhiyi with bare arms. He wears standard clothes, looks thin, takes off his clothes, and has a good figure line. I
accidentally bumped into someone at the door of the bathroom, and I ran away in a mess.
Because I have seen it, I can’t help thinking about it.
Finally, one day, I had a complete dream of Chen Zhiyi. When I
woke up, I felt uncomfortable.
At this time, Chen Zhiyi was concentrating on preparing for the college entrance examination, and he would never understand my thoughts.
…… The college entrance examination is a kind of liberation for Chen Zhiyi, but it is the arrival of my bitter life. After
Chen Zhiyi graduated, I became the second senior high school student in my family.
The school is very strict. They make up lessons during the holidays, and the evening classes don’t end until eleven o’clock. The way
home was safe and there were many companions, but Chen Zhiyi insisted on picking me up every night. There is a small road outside the
community, which is the only section of the road without lights.
It was on this road that Chen Zhiyi completely broke my respect for him-my sister’s respect for my brother. Unfortunately, when Chen Zhiyi came to pick me up
that day, my deskmate was also there.
She was a quick talker. She didn’t see Chen Zhiyi at all. When she said goodbye to me, she said, “Xiang Nan, you really don’t agree with the pursuit of the school committee. He likes you very much.”.
」「……」 I glanced at Chen Zhiyi.
Chen Zhiyi stood silent under the street lamp.
I dismissed my deskmate in a few words and said to Chen Zhiyi, “Let’s go.”.
He did not speak, he did not nod, and he walked beside me without a word.
With what I know about him, I know he’s not right again.
I think he is not only sick in that way, but also mentally ill, and sometimes he is split.
Usually at this time, I have to try my best to please him, and he can barely show a smile.
I had to bite the bullet and say, “Brother, will you start the half-month exam at this time before?”?
We have to take the exam half a month, once every two weeks. It’s so annoying.
Kao Kao Kao, that’s a lot of pressure.
He was silent.
Brother, you were the first at that time. How many points could you get out of the second?
He still did not speak.
Our first place this time was out of line. A boy, a dark horse, went straight to the front and beat the second place by 40 points.
I chatted by myself all the way. On the path without lights, Chen Chih-yi suddenly stopped and said, Are you very concerned about boys?
“” Huh? Are there a lot of boys around
you?
“” What?
I couldn’t see Chen Zhiyi’s face clearly, but I could hear his tone was cold and seeping.
Do you like to observe men?
“He forced me to stop, too.” Or are you like the little female cat downstairs, thinking of spring?
」「……」 I was instantly annoyed, and the anger that had been suppressed for a long time broke out completely. “Chen Zhiyi, are you ***ing sick?”?
！」 What this man said is so unpleasant to hear.
Yes, I’m sick. I told you a long time ago. Un
expectedly, Chen Chih-yi didn’t think I was scolding him. Instead, he went on to say, I’m a neuropathy, I’m a pervert, and I have psychological problems.
」「…………」 I’ve been sick for a long time. I can’t cure it, and I don’t want to.
I was petrified and looked at him in the dark.
He seldom said so much when he was perverse: “I don’t like to associate with people, and I don’t like to have friends.”.
Parents see the image of a good child, but I disguise it, because it will reduce a lot of trouble.
What you see is false, I am very arbitrary, but also very selfish, I like to monopolize their own things, like the feeling of complete possession.
Xiang Nan, do you understand this feeling? Of course
I don’t understand.
Why pretend to be a good boy? If
you don’t understand, I’ll tell you. When I was in
kindergarten, my father bought me a cute plush bear. I slept with it every night and liked it very much.
But one day, a relative’s child came to the house, and he moved my little bear while I was not paying attention.
Chen Chih-yi gave a difficult smile. He just touched it lightly.
But it was this that made me extremely bored. After the
child left, I cried for a long time.
Mom and Dad didn’t understand why I was crying and scolded me.
Chen Chih-yi’s tone was faint, and he recalled the past with me: That night, instead of holding my little bear to sleep, I destroyed it.
I opened its heart with scissors, pulled out the silk floss, and then cut its clothes into pieces.
I hate it. Why should my things be soiled by others?
Summer nights are not cold, but after listening to Chen Zhiyi’s words, I feel a chill in my back for no reason.
And his next sentence pushed me into the ice cellar in an instant. He said, “Nan Nan, you are my little bear.”.
I hate mom and dad for giving you to someone else. The lights in the
neighborhood dimly illuminated this section of the path. If Chen Zhiyi hadn’t looked at me in such a dim light, I would have covered my mouth and screamed.
He’s a pervert.
He seemed to realize that he was scaring me, and his tone softened and warmed up: “But I won’t hurt you, I will protect you, and I will always protect you.”.
Because you’re my sister. The word
“younger sister” was bitten very hard by him, and he seemed to be unwilling to suppress it.
Nannan, my brother will protect you, and we will never be separated, okay?
I’m afraid of Chen Zhiyi, and I’m even more afraid of his attitude at the moment.
I tried to exhort, “But we have to separate. When we grow up, we will have our own families.” “No!” He raised his voice sharply. “I won’t marry anyone else, and you won’t marry anyone else.”.
He tried to reach out and hug me, but when he raised his hand, he hesitated and pinched my shoulder instead.
He was born with a cold body, and his fingers were cold all the year round. Through the thin school uniform, I could feel the chill of his fingertips.
You are mine.
He swallowed heavily and made up his mind. I’ll give you whatever you want. I can give you what
other boys can give you.
I will love you seriously, will make money to support you in the future, will make you happy, so that you will not experience the pain of being abandoned.
If.. “If you need a man..” said Chen Zhiyi with a rare stutter. So can I.
“He couldn’t help hugging me and tightening his arms.” I will satisfy you.
Chen Zhiyi, you are crazy.
“I was just red-eyed, but now he’s holding me, and I’m crying out loud.” You let me go.
You are a madman. Holding me in his arms,
he put his chin on my head and said in a stiff voice, “Don’t move.”. The
tone was irrefutable, and I froze and dared not move.
Chen Chih-yi bent slightly and rubbed the corners of his lips against my ears and temples. “Nan Nan, I really like you.”.
I have never liked and cared about a person so much.
I thought that according to Chen Chih-yi’s temperament, he would hold him for a long time.
Unexpectedly, just for a short while, he let me go.
The night breeze was slightly cool, blowing in his ears that he had kissed, with the rare coldness of summer.
I shivered and didn’t know what to say.
I can’t be as reckless as he is and tell him that I have dreamed about you and that I have had bad thoughts about you.
Chen Chih-yi took a deep breath, exhaled slowly, and said, “If only you weren’t my sister.”.
His voice was shallow, with an inaudible twang. “Nan Nan, I want to kiss you.”. After the
extreme, he became soft, and when he spoke, he showed his usual gentleness, and this gentleness was very sincere, and he did not seem to be pretending.
A car coming out of the neighborhood turned the corner and its lights lit up around it.
I looked up at Chen Zhiyi and shook my head.
The headlights were gone in a flash, and Chen Chih-yi’s bright eyes disappeared into the darkness with the light. In the
darkness, I clearly saw tears in his eyes.
Perhaps it is the blood connection, I suddenly feel distressed.
Brother.
I stood opposite him, half an arm’s length away from him.
I went over and took his hand, gently, like a sister’s attachment to her brother: “It will be all right.”.
In the future, you will meet someone better than me, and I believe that person is more worthy of your love.
This was the first time I took the initiative to hold Chen Zhiyi’s hand and wrap his fingers to keep him warm.
He followed me obediently, and after a long time, he murmured at my side, “But I haven’t bought a new bear since it was torn up.”.
Because they are not my little bear. As expected,
Chen Zhiyi was admitted to a famous university, and I also took the college entrance examination in the second year and went to a school that I still liked.
I seldom go home. First, I was not very familiar with my parents, and I was very cautious when I met them. Second, I avoided Chen Zhiyi.
Chen Zhiyi is a stubborn person. For three or four years, he insisted on asking after me. Although he didn’t meet me very often, he never disappeared in my life.
From work and employment to the rising price of rice in the canteen, he wants to share with me.
He will still show two characters in his life, one is gentle and modest, the other is paranoid and arrogant. After a
long time, in fact, I can accept any one.
Because, only I know, in the long time together, in his care for me, I also like him, is the kind of feeling far better than brother and sister.
He is loved by the public because of his gentleness and cleverness, while the paranoid one is only known to me.
I am keeping this secret for him, and I am also keeping my own secret. In my senior year
, something happened to my family.
Not the Chen family, but the Xiang family.
My adoptive parents’ family is not very rich, the property under their name is not much, only an old house, because the location is good, can barely be regarded as an asset. After
their death, I was busy with college entrance examination and university, and never cared about the ownership of the house.
In addition, the management of small places was not perfect, so the matter was shelved for a time. The dispute over the
house was not a small one, but it was all a family scandal-my uncle wanted to keep it for himself.
Chen’s father and mother thought that the house should belong to me, while Xiang’s uncle thought that I was not his own daughter, and tried every means to stop me, at the expense of making a lot of noise. It is simple and clear in
law, but it is not clear in this small place where there is a lack of legal common sense.
In the living room of the old house, a group of people quarreled bitterly.
Chen Zhiyi was also there, and he came back from other places on a special leave, as if he was afraid that I would be bullied. After my
adoptive parents died, I seldom went home again.
Compared with the Chen family, in fact, I identify more with the Xiang family where I have lived for more than ten years, and I also identify more with the adoptive parents as parents. I was so upset by the constant quarrels in the
living room that I got up and quietly hid back in the cabin where I had lived before.
The small bedroom is not as big as the bedroom Chen Zhiyi gave me, but I am very familiar with it. Because
the house has not lived for a long time, there is a strong smell of dust, the walls are cold, and the whole house is cool. The things on
the bookshelves and desks had been moved to Chen’s house, which was empty. The more
I looked at the nasal cavity, the more astringent it became. With the quarrel outside the door, I couldn’t help crying.
I miss mom and dad. When
Chen Zhiyi came in, I was wringing my nose and was in a mess. As in the past,
he did not say hello or speak after entering the door, but closed the door gently with his backhand.
I was embarrassed to look up and sobbed twice to hold back my tears. The
house will not be taken away.
In the order of succession, it should be you.
He comforted me.
I didn’t speak in silence.
I’m not crying about the house. I’m just thinking about my mom and dad.
Chen Chih-yi sat down next to me, clasped his fingers, twisted them for a moment, and said, “Don’t be afraid, Nan Nan. My brother is here.”.
“” Mmm.
I bowed my head, and like him, I couldn’t get past my fingers. I clasped them and rubbed them together, and my joints turned red.
He looked at me for a moment, reached over my hands, and wrapped both of them under his palm. That night
five or six years ago, when I was doing my homework in the bedroom, he held my hand.
Time has passed for a long time, but I always remember the temperature of his palm. As
cold as he is, he may not be warm enough, but he is very powerful and makes me feel at ease.
Miss them?
“I burst into tears.” Yes.
“” Give a hug?
He was next to me, unclasping his hands and opening his arms.
I needed comfort so badly that I threw myself into his arms.
I also had a brief hug with Chen Zhiyi. The summer night after
his college entrance examination, he hugged me carefully in the dark.
We are like a firefly in each other’s life, faintly bright for a moment, and then hidden in the night, together with those unspeakable love, also hidden. Later,
I missed that hug very much and recalled Chen Zhiyi’s words several times-if only we were not brother and sister. With
my face buried in his chest, I cried out of breath, regardless of the snot and tears that stained his clothes.
Chen Zhiyi gently stroked my back, without superfluous movements or superfluous words.
It’s better not to talk. At this moment, I can really feel that he is my brother and the only family I care about most.
I cried for a long time, and my voice was hoarse. The quarrel in the living room was not over yet.
I heard Father Chen arguing on just grounds, and the reasons were so strong that Uncle Xiang could not refute them.
Chen Zhiyi noticed that my mood was a little better and reached out to touch my face and wipe my tears. Not having seen him
for many years, he became more gentle than when he was a teenager, and his paranoia was more deeply hidden, almost invisible.
Nannan, you’ve wiped my clothes dirty.
He laughed.
I sobbed, “I’ll go home and wash it for you.”.
I’m leaving tonight.
Too late.
“I looked up from his arms, a little confused.” So soon? I
was worried, so I came to have a look.
Now it seems that Dad can handle it, and you see, he’s not.. With a snap, something broke in the living room, and a sharp voice interrupted Chen Zhiyi’s words. When he and
I got up quickly to see what was going on in the living room, we shouted to our aunt, “Old Chen, what do you mean? Do you really think that wild girl is your daughter?”?
You just coax outsiders.
I put my hand on the doorknob and looked at Chen Zhiyi in amazement.
Chen Zhiyi was more surprised than I was and looked at me as well.
But he was more rational than me. When I wanted to rush out, he shook his head gently and stopped me.
Father Chen seems to be in a hurry: “Don’t talk nonsense!” Xiang’s aunt wouldn’t give up. “There are dozens of people in the Xiang family. Who doesn’t know that Xiang Nan was picked up from outside?”? They don’t
even know who their parents are, and they are children who are born but not raised.
The Xiang family raised her for 14 or 15 years, and they did their best. You
still want a house, don’t you?
“Uncle Xiang said,” Yes, Old Chen, our family, and even my third brother and his wife, have done everything they can for this child. They are benevolent and righteous enough.
You have a good heart. When you adopted her, you had to make up a story about family planning and abandonment to dispel the child’s worries. We are grateful.
You have a good relationship with the third brother, and we are also moved to sing the drama of entrusting an orphan.
But now, she is really not qualified to fight for the house.
You said that if she was really your own daughter, I would give you the house.
I waited for Father Chen to go on, hoping that he would say, Nannan is my own daughter.
A second goes by a century, but Father Chen is slow to open his mouth. After
a long time, it was Mother Chen who spoke.
Her voice was strong: “Is it a kiss or not? We are all raised as a kiss. It’s none of your business.”. Now
we have decided that we want the house, which belongs to us.
Don’t say my family is greedy for money. I’m fighting for my daughter. The
house will not be left to the Chen family in the future. It is Nannan’s dowry and her own thing. Whether
she sells it or rents it has nothing to do with you. Mother
Chen spoke in a hurry and her tone was not good, which completely annoyed Uncle Xiang.
Return the dowry?
I think you want to keep it for yourself, right?
My own daughter? Don’t be ashamed to
say it. Eighty percent of the adoption was to raise a child bride. Two years later, he turned around and betrothed the wild girl to his son. The bride price and dowry were all yours. The
calculation is clear.
」…… The living room was a complete mess, and I was even more confused.
I rushed out of the bedroom door, and a roomful of people stared at me in unison. I didn’t care about
anything. I just turned to my father and asked, “Am I your own?”?
Chen Chih-yi followed me out the door, standing by my side like a patron saint.
I mumbled, “Dad, I want to hear the truth.”. Father
Chen choked with sobs and lowered his eyes: “Nannan, blood is not important..” There was a lot of talk in the room, and I couldn’t hear a word.
Turning to look, through tears, I saw a picture of my adoptive parents on the altar, smiling kindly.
I don’t know whether I should be happy or sad, but I can’t stop crying.
…… After I went back to school, Uncle Xiang still made a lot of noise.
While I was busy dealing with family affairs, I was busy looking for a job. When
Chen Zhiyi came to my school to find me, it was spring. Spring comes late in
the north, and it is still chilly in March, but the cherry blossoms in the campus have quietly bloomed all over the Avenue.
He came very suddenly, and when he called me, he was already at school.
The weather was not good. It rained for two days.
Because of my inertia, I didn’t go to the job fair and stayed in the dormitory to look up information and revise papers.
Nan Nan, guess where I am?
“” Where?
I asked casually.
He made a video call, and the camera cut to the downstairs of our dormitory. I was too familiar with the cherry tree downstairs of the
dormitory, and he stood under the cherry tree waiting for me.
I pulled my shoes and ran out. When I ran out of the corridor, I braked hard and said, “Brother, wait a minute. I’ll put on my makeup.”.
“” OK.
“His voice was light in the receiver.” But I haven’t seen what you look like? It
‘s superfluous. Ignoring him,
I turned around and plunged into the dormitory. I made up carefully and put on a little skirt with my heart.
My roommate laughed at me, “Who is it?”?
It’s like seeing a boyfriend.
I changed my canvas shoes into a lady’s shoes and jumped out of the door lightly. I went to see someone who was closer than my boyfriend.
At the door, Chen Chih-yi stood proudly, attracting the attention of many people who came and went. I haven’t seen him
since the house dispute. The revelation of
life experience has reduced many barriers between me and him, and the undercurrent hidden between me and him is slowly surging out of the water. When he
saw me, he waved, “Nan Nan.”.
He is still different from others.
Others are always enthusiastic about the reunion, and their faces will be filled with joy, while he is cold, just right to maintain a little less embarrassing gentleness.
I went over and asked him in a low voice, “Brother, what are you doing here?”? I want to
take a rest and come to see you.
“” Oh, that.. Where are we going?
“He lowered his head slightly and asked,” Where are you going? Then he
smiled and said, “Just walk around. Your school is very beautiful.”.
Probably I was afraid of him when I was young, so when I grew up, I was a little afraid, and I would respect what he said for no reason.
He reached out to lead me and walked aimlessly in the campus.
Cherry Blossom Avenue is full of fallen petals, which is very beautiful. The
rain began to fall again. I took out my umbrella from my bag and opened it to hit him on the head. Chen Chih-yi took it and said, “I’m coming.”.
“I laughed.” Do you want to hold an umbrella for me because you want to protect me?
Chen Chih-yi spoke without mercy: Because you’re short, it’s hard to hold it up.
」「……」 After I had been bored for a while, I heard Chen Chih-yi say, “Is holding an umbrella for protection?”?
“” Yes.
Chen Chih-yi smiled and said, That’s quite simple.
What do you think?
In my opinion, it is the kind of protection that is the real protection.
Even if is pays the life, also is should, also is I is willing.
I stopped and took him by the sleeve to force him to stop.
I bravely looked him in the eye once and said, “Chen Zhiyi, I don’t want your life. Don’t make yourself sound so awe-inspiring.”.
Then what do you want?
Chen Chih-yi looked at me seriously. I’ll give it all to you.
He was quite tall, and I held my neck up. After holding it up for a long time, my neck ached.
I asked, “Am I still your little bear?”?
“Chen Chih-yi was surprised:” Yes.
All the time.
All my life.
I took his hand again and put my fingers in his palm.
We held hands several times, but only this time we interlocked our fingers.
I have a secret, about you.
“” What?
I stood on tiptoe and moved a little closer to him. You kiss me and I’ll show you.
Close by, I could clearly see the tip of Chen Chih-yi’s throat moving lightly, and his lips opening and closing slightly and nervously. The light in
his eyes was as bright as it had been that summer night.
“Nan-Nan..” He whispered my name and then bowed his head and kissed me.
I reached out and hugged him tightly. What
I embrace is my spring. After the
kiss, I was even bolder. I reached out and pinched the bridge of his nose. “I owe you a kiss that night, and I’ll give it back to you.”. A little kid who cries when he can’t
get a sweet deal.
Chen Chih-yi was first ashamed and then angry, but unfortunately his anger could not suppress his shyness. “Who’s the crying kid?”
He asked anxiously?
！」 You.
I shook off my hands and walked forward, and the spring rain fell on my forehead, which was particularly cool.
Don’t deny it. I saw you crying that night. Refusing to admit it,
Chen Chih-yi caught up with him and changed the subject: What about the secret?
Want to know?
“” Mmm.
Then take me to where you live.
」…… In the hotel, the curtains were closed and the lights were as dark as I could ask.
If this secret is not for watching, then I will definitely ask for the light to be turned off.
Chen Zhiyi sat on the edge of the bed, quiet and clever like a fool.
I took a deep breath and began to undress myself. When
he unbuttoned the collar of his shirt and unbuttoned it to his chest, Chen Zhiyi looked surprised.
He probably didn’t expect my “sister” to show him such a big secret. The button on
my chest was opened, and I shyly blocked it with my hand.
Chen Chih-yi’s hand at his side moved unconsciously, his fingertips curled up and clenched, and he called me by my name: “Nan Nan.”.
I didn’t untie any more, but turned my back to him.
The neckline is lowered and I pull down to make sure the shoulder blades are fully exposed.
Following my movements, Chen Chih-yi, who is used to pretending to be a good boy and never says dirty words, also said, “***.”.
I knew what he was exclaiming. His name is tattooed on my spine, between my
Braised Spare Ribs. The font of the
name is written by me. It is the hard-pen calligraphy that I am good at. It is a little thin and golden.
I heard him stand up and approach me slowly.
Cold fingertips touched my spine, and his voice was astringent: “Nan Nan, when did you do it?”? When I
found I couldn’t forget you, I went to do it.
I was slightly excited by his touch, and felt that such an answer was quite hypocritical. To tell the truth, I got a tattoo not long after I went to college, and I didn’t dare to tell my parents.. I’m afraid to tell you.
“I babbled on and on to hide my shame.” You have so many strokes in your name. It hurts so much when you tattoo it.
Chen Chih-yi did not speak for a long time, and his hand stopped on my skin.
I said to myself, “Didn’t you say you liked to monopolize?”?
Then I will tattoo your name on my body, which is equivalent to signing and stamping. After that, I will be your own. The
cold touch disappeared, and the next moment, I was pulled into his arms by Chen Zhiyi and forced into bed.
He almost gritted his teeth and said, “Xiang Nan, there is no moment when I don’t want to have you as completely as I do now.”.
Since I was sixteen years old, I have never stopped thinking about it. “A lot of lonely nights,”
he said in a deep voice. “Do you know what I was thinking?
I couldn’t speak, and there was clear saliva on my lips.
He answered his own question and said to me, “I think of you in all kinds of ways, lovely, gentle, shy, bold and unrestrained..” I have thought about every aspect of you.
His words were as cold as his fingers: Nannan, you are mine.
」…… The next morning.
Chen Zhiyi was not in the room, the curtain opened a gap, and the wind blew in from the half-open window, with the cool smell of rain.
I turned around and saw a cute teddy bear beside my pillow, silly, just the right size to hold in my arms. Chen Zhiyi
should have bought it when he went out early in the morning.
I laughed and held it in my arms. When I fell asleep
again, I heard the door opened and Chen Zhiyi entered the door gently. Perhaps
he was embarrassed to disturb me when he saw me sleeping, so he just bent over the bed and did not speak quietly.
He was so close I could feel his breath in my face. When he
saw the little bear in my arms, he was very happy. He carefully touched my hair on my temples and asked in a low voice, “Nan Nan, are you awake?”?
I grunted, not wanting to speak.
He smiled broadly. “I know you’re awake.”.
Idiot, your eyelashes are moving.
I had no choice but to open my eyes and see his big face against me.
I pushed him: “Chen Zhiyi, you stay away from me, so you will see my eye droppings.”.
“He giggled and leaned over to kiss me on the forehead.” Don’t you see much of me at home?
I ignored him and turned around with the bear in my arms. There will be a lifetime
in the future. I’m not afraid.
He laughed even more.
The curtain moves lightly, the spring breeze is slow, but I am not sleepy at all. It was the first time
I heard Chen Zhiyi’s laughter, which was bright and clean.
My little stickler. Is he happy?
His little bear is back.
(This article is also known as: The South Wind Knows What I Want)
