Did you get divorced because of your mother-in-law?
My sister-in-law got up in the middle of the night to make milk for the baby. When she passed the living room, she was tripped by my father who slept on the floor. She kicked him up. The next day, my father’s waist was black and blue.
But my mother-in-law actually made a joke about it and said to her sister-in-law, “The old man didn’t take a fancy to you, did he?”?
My parents have worked hard to carry a lot of things in the trunk from their hometown, and they are all very kind.
But my mother-in-law said, “Chicken, eggs, and a basket of turnips are all worthless things.”.
I have nothing to say. My
husband and I had a big fight about money, and my mother-in-law added, “Take his ID card to the bank to see if he has any other accounts.”.
That winter, I was admitted to the hospital because I worked overtime for 72 hours in a row.
The project leader went to see me and said, “Who in the company doesn’t do this? Why are you the youngest and the first to fall down?”?
If everyone is like you, it takes more than half a month to ask for sick leave, how can this team lead?
His tone was half-joking, and the smile on his lips was sincere, but it sounded like a needle prick to me.
Arrhythmia, anemia, hypotension, if these things can be debugged like bugs in the system, I will debug them day and night.
I knew that my illness delayed the whole project, so I asked my wife Zhao Xiaoyu to take the notebook to the hospital.
Every morning, after breakfast, I continue to write code with three bottles of intravenous drip, and then pack it to my colleagues. They will send me the feedback
at noon, and I will continue to revise it.
But after working for two days, my doctor wouldn’t allow it. She snapped, “If you’re like this, don’t come to the hospital!”! If you can’t have a good rest, you will live in vain.
She looks like my high school head teacher, and even curses in a similar tone.
I don’t blame her. I know in my heart that she is for my own good.
I can only explain the situation to the group leader and express my desire to rest for a while. I’m glad that the
group leader agreed.
So at the end of the month, I received the minimum salary, more than 5000 yuan, and more than 16000 yuan disappeared because of my absence.
My promise to Xiaoyu to buy her cosmetics and bags for Christmas fell through.
Xiaoyu doesn’t blame me.
He said that the body is the most important, and cosmetics and bags can be bought later. The
child’s milk powder and diaper money are enough to rely on her salary, but this month’s mortgage of more than nine thousand yuan has to use our little savings.
In my mother’s eyes, it is incredible to earn more than twenty thousand yuan a month, but life is like this, every month’s salary has its real use, and there is not much left in the end.
I am the so-called Phoenix man, because I was born in the countryside, my parents are farmers, and I married an only daughter in the city as a wife.
When I first heard this word, I thought it was some kind of praise, after all, Phoenix is a divine animal, but I did not expect that it has now become a synonym for being spurned. Not long after
we got married, Xiaoyu laughed and told me, “Isn’t this you?”? Come out
of the countryside, fly to the branches and become a phoenix! I was washing my hair with my face in the basin. Fortunately, she couldn’t see my face because my cheeks were twitching involuntarily.
By the way, they also say that being too sensitive is also the characteristic of Phoenix men. At the time of the
college entrance examination, I was the first in our Shili Baxiang. I was admitted to the university, which was both 985 and 211.
I am the favored son of heaven in the eyes of the villagers, and my admission notice was delivered by the deputy mayor himself.
At that time, I was so proud that no matter where I went, someone would recognize me, even if I didn’t recognize them. Full of enthusiasm,
I went to the city for the first time with the ten thousand yuan that my father had saved for me for many years.
In just one month, my pride and confidence were crushed by reality.
I don’t understand why my roommates spend more than 1000 yuan on a pair of sneakers, why they spend more than 100 yuan on a meal out, and why the girls in the class spend hundreds of yuan on a bottle of face oil. There are so many things I don’t understand in
this world that I can only focus on the part I can understand, so I go to the library every day, read books, refuse to participate in various activities held by my classmates, and I become the most lonely one.
I am a synonym for shabby, and I begin to feel inferior.
No one wants that. I just don’t have a choice.
I can’t follow them to enjoy themselves and spend hundreds of yuan a day, because in my mind, my parents will push and pull a cart of vegetables to the town, and only get fifty or sixty yuan a day.
I have to go to school, because I know how proud my parents smile every time they see my report card, which is the happiest moment in their life, and I have no right to deprive them.
I don’t know what happened to Zhao Xiaoyu, but she likes me.
When I found that she was always around me, I just thought she was trying to improve her grades, because she always asked me how to do the exercises and asked me to help her occupy the seat in the study room.
But when she went, she slept beside me and shook my arm and begged me to help her review before the exam.
She is not a beautiful girl, but she is very lovely.
She has a round and white face, wears round glasses, and when she smiles, her eyes narrow into two lines, and her two front teeth protrude like a squirrel in a cartoon.
I like her, like the faint fragrance on her body when approaching her, like her white and tender hands, and like the way she looks at me, clear and warm.
I guess she likes me, but I’m never sure. Even though everyone says we’re a couple, I can’t admit it.
After all, I am used to feeling inferior, and compared with those boys who sweat on the basketball court wearing 1000 yuan sneakers, I am really too inconspicuous.
So, in the process of getting along with Zhao Xiaoyu, I was always passive. On Christmas Day,
junior year, she expressed her love to me.
She blushed and said to me, “Zhou Ping’an, I like you.”.
Her voice was so light that it came to my heart like a butterfly.
But I looked at her and couldn’t say a word.
I like her too, but I don’t have the courage to admit it.
She took my hand and we walked around the playground twice. In
the first lap, they didn’t speak to each other.
Her cold hands are the warmest words. On
the second lap, I said to her, “Why?”?
“She paused, looked at me in surprise, and said,” There’s no reason. You don’t need a reason to like someone.
She paused, blinked and asked me, “Do you like me?”?
I just felt something in my throat and it hurt.
I cleared my throat and nodded heavily. I said, “Yes.”.
From then on, every year Christmas was not just a foreign festival for me, but our anniversary.
I thank her for her courage, so that we can walk together.
So I am willing to buy gifts for her and do my best to make her happy.
Xiaoyu is a local, her father is a retired post office worker, her mother was laid off many years ago, and later worked as an accountant in a relative’s enterprise.
Her family is not good, but compared with my family, it is also a world of difference. When
we were dating, she took me to her house.
They live in the family courtyard of the post office. The courtyard is not big, but the house is more than 180 square meters. At that time,
I didn’t have much idea about the area of the houses in the city. I only knew that the courtyard of my house in the countryside was bigger than theirs. Xiaoyu told me about the concept of the area.
But her bathroom and kitchen opened my eyes.
I haven’t seen so many kinds of electrical appliances, and I don’t know that hot water can come out when the tap is turned on. After graduating from
university, I stayed in the city without thinking because of my relationship with Xiaoyu.
I have good grades, many enterprises are willing to me, and Xiaoyu after discussion, I chose the best treatment of the first source of technology.
Xiaoyu, on the other hand, entered a state-owned enterprise under the arrangement of her parents.
My income was twice that of Xiaoyu at first, but I had no sense of superiority in front of her.
She lives and eats at home, and her monthly salary is only her own pocket money. If she doesn’t have enough money, she will ask her parents for it.
I, on the other hand, have to pay rent, water and electricity every month, and I send most of the rest of the money home.
At that time, my father had a minor operation. I was too busy to take care of him. The only thing I could do was to send the money back every month.
I always feel indebted to Xiaoyu, because she falls in love with me, seldom goes out to see movies, eats expensive ice cream, more often, we just read and study together, and occasionally press the road.
So after I went to work, I had more money, and I was willing to give her gifts, buy her flowers, and go to luxury restaurants with her.
Although I love money, I am very satisfied when I see her smiling face. Three years after
graduation, it was finally time to talk about marriage. Only
then did I know that Xiaoyu’s parents had never agreed with us to be together, which was why she had never invited me to her home again.
Not only because my family’s conditions are not good, but also because I am a dull person, “I can’t become a great person at first sight.”.
But Xiaoyu didn’t give in. She insisted on staying with me and went on a hunger strike to fight against her parents.
Eventually, her parents agreed.
At that time, I only earned less than 10,000 yuan a month. Even if my parents refused to accept the money I sent after my father’s operation, I only had about 100,000 yuan. It is impossible for me to
buy a house and a car.
But the parents-in-law had no way to take an infatuated daughter, so they took the initiative to arrange all this.
Under their arrangement, we bought a house of 150 square meters in the name of Xiaoyu. They paid 30% of the down payment, and we mortgaged the rest after marriage.
I have more than one hundred thousand yuan, eighty thousand yuan as a betrothal gift, and the rest is for us to decorate.
House decoration, but also with furniture and appliances, that money is simply not enough.
I am always grateful to my parents-in-law. It is because of their help that I can have a “home” in the city.
But I will always remember my mother-in-law’s expression when she took the eighty thousand yuan from my parents. Her eyes were contemptuous and disdainful, as if she was giving us alms.
I got married, and my salary was handed over to Xiaoyu voluntarily.
I don’t smoke, I don’t drink, and I eat in the company, so I don’t spend much at ordinary times.
My clothes, shoes, and even my glasses are all arranged by her.
During the Spring Festival, she would also prepare red envelopes for the elderly on both sides, with the same amount on both sides.
I don’t have a problem with this kind of life. She is a careful woman. How does the family spend money? She writes it down carefully in her notebook.
The book is in the drawer of our bedside table, and I will only look through it occasionally.
Slowly, my income has also increased, from ten thousand, to fifteen thousand, to twenty thousand, and sometimes I can get a big gift package of performance at the end of the year. For two years in
a row, Xiaoyu and I took her parents to Thailand and Singapore.
I didn’t complain about why I didn’t take my parents. I didn’t even mention it.
Because I know that a trip is expensive, but when I sit on the warm beach in Thailand, I still think about my parents.
Maybe after two years when I earn more, Xiaoyu will be willing to take my parents with her. Not long after returning
from Singapore, Xiaoyu became pregnant.
This is a great joy for us. We bought a car
because of the need of Xiaoyu’s prenatal examination.
We paid eighty thousand, and my parents-in-law sponsored twenty thousand.
I refused to take it, but Xiaoyu accepted it without even thinking about it. She said, “I’m the only daughter of my parents. Their money is not all mine. I don’t want it for nothing.”.
Unlike you, there’s a sister up there.
I smiled and did not answer.
I have a good relationship with my sister. She has already married and become a mother.
Her life was so tight that she couldn’t help me, but she never held me back.
And my parents, only a small yard in the countryside, they grow vegetables and land, it is not easy to support themselves on a meager income, there is no money for me and my sister.
But knowing that Xiaoyu was pregnant, my parents seemed happier than I was. They came to the city by train overnight. I didn’t know how they carried the things I filled the back compartment all the way.
It was the first time they had come to the city since I got married. Xiaoyu was also very happy. She changed the bedding in the small room for her parents and bought them brand new toothbrushes and towels. She also knew how to say to my parents, “It’s not easy for you,”
when we piled up the things my parents brought like a hill in the living room. After
my mother came over, she took over all the housework and cooked delicious food for us in different ways every day. I thought it was happy to have my parents living together.
Until one night when I came home, my mother told me that Xiaoyu went back to her mother’s home crying.
I rushed to my mother-in-law’s house and sat on a stool opposite the sofa to listen to her scold my parents. It turned out that my mother had washed two of her expensive cashmere sweaters and washed her underwear with her expensive shower gel by mistake. The direct cause of her departure was that she was lying on the sofa watching the drama. My mother told her to go to bed early.
I don’t know how every little thing happens, but I think I know my parents, and at this time, Xiaoyu, who is lying on the sofa with an aggressive belly, is a little strange.
I comforted Xiaoyu, “My parents worked so hard to carry all the things in the trunk, and they were all very kind.”.
“But my mother-in-law said,” Chicken, eggs, and a basket of turnips are all worthless things.
I have nothing to say.
Two days later, my parents came home.
I took them to the station, and they looked sad.
I insisted on going to the supermarket to buy something for my sister and nephew to take back, but my father pulled my arm and refused to let me buy it. He said it was too troublesome to carry it on the way.
Those bitter memories, even now recalled, are very unpleasant. It
‘s not a grievance, but a disappointment to myself.
Why is it that a man in his twenties can’t even handle the simplest housework?
Daughter was born, according to the custom of our hometown, mother-in-law to serve the month, but Xiaoyu refused.
She had already found more than eight thousand Yuesao, who wanted to live at home. Xiaoyu said that my parents had no place to live when they came.
But I couldn’t resist the enthusiasm of my parents to see their granddaughter. They came anyway, carrying half of the things in the back.
I put them in a nearby hotel, but two days later, they knew that the hotel would cost more than three hundred yuan a night, so they refused to stay.
So the two old people, one sleeping on the sofa and the other sleeping on the floor, just made do with it. After
giving birth to a child, Xiaoyu became a different person.
Perhaps because of my love for her, I am always willing to shift the responsibility to my mother-in-law, who is always “nagging” in her ear. Driven
by her, even my sister-in-law spoke contemptuously to my parents.
My sister-in-law got up in the middle of the night to make milk for the baby. When she passed the living room, she was tripped by my father who slept on the floor. She kicked him up. The next day, my father’s waist was black and blue.
But my mother-in-law actually made a joke about it and said to her sister-in-law, “The old man didn’t take a fancy to you, did he?”? I
didn’t dare to provoke my mother-in-law. I had a quarrel with my sister-in-law. I deliberately quarreled with my mother-in-law and Xiaoyu, but it didn’t work. They still didn’t have any restraint.
Xiaoyu’s confinement is not over yet, and my parents will go back. We all cried when we
sent them to the train station.
My parents were distressed that I was wronged in that family, but I cried that I was a loser. When did
love disappear? I don’t know.
Maybe it’s in the child’s daily excrement, urine and fart, maybe it’s in our daily quarrel, maybe it’s in Xiaoyu’s little change.
I dare not say that she is a good wife, but she is a good mother. She wants me to spend more time with her and her children. But I have to work for 996. I have to spend more time at work so that I can barely maintain my monthly salary of 20,000 yuan. Twenty thousand
a month, maybe my only contribution to the family, I have no choice. After the
illness, everything changed.
I can’t stay up late. Even if I go to bed later than eleven o’clock, my heart will be uncomfortable.
I was transferred, and my income was reduced by more than half.
But the monthly payment will not be less, and the children’s expenditure will also increase.
Our meagre savings will last us only half a year.
Xiaoyu asked me to find a way, but I had no way.
I don’t know what else I can do except write code.
At this time, the parents-in-law came forward again. They said they didn’t mind living with us, so that they could rent out their house and fill the gap of monthly payment by rent.
Xiaoyu was so excited that she thought her parents were the biggest saviors in the world.
Since my parents-in-law moved in together, I just feel like my boss is sinking lower every day.
When she scolded me behind my back and told Xiaoyu how much other people’s husbands earned to buy several apartments, I could only pretend not to hear.
Xiaoyu never mentioned it in front of me, but her attitude towards me was gradually changing.
I thought the days were probably at the bottom of the valley, but I was too naive. What
I didn’t expect was that I would be on the company’s layoff list.
I dare not tell Xiaoyu, I can only pretend that I still go out early and come back late every day, in fact, I go out to find a job.
But I am not young, the health is not good, but also want to find a high-paying job, it is not easy?
One day, after an interview, I saw her missed call, and when I called back, I immediately understood that she had called my old company, and she knew everything. When
I got home, she was crying in her mother-in-law’s arms, and her mother-in-law was crying with her. The mother and daughter were crying together, shouting about how to live in the future.
I told them, “I’m already looking for a job.”.
“” Did you find it? Asked
the mother-in-law. Not
yet. I haven’t found it for
almost two months. It
‘s been almost two months, and you didn’t tell us?
You don’t treat us as a family.
I am speechless.
Tell me, how will Xiaoyu live in the future?
The child is still so young.
Xiaoyu also has a salary, and it’s just that she’s been working harder during this time.
Her salary is so little, what is enough?
I’m already trying to find a job, so what do you want me to do?
“Xiaoyu raised her tearful eyes and stared at me and asked,” You are a big man, the head of the family. What should I do?
At that time, because I was unemployed, I couldn’t rest at night, and I felt short of breath all day chest distress.
I don’t want to quarrel with her. I’ve never been so upset in my heart.
I turned to go, but she stopped me. “What are you doing?”?
Go out for a walk.
“You only know how to escape!” But sitting here, what can you do? If
you’re at home, at least let’s discuss it. Said
his mother-in-law. Let me know when
you have discussed it.
I left that house.
I wandered aimlessly in the street until the neon lights came on.
I looked at the night view of this beautiful city and doubted myself again. Was it really right to choose to stay here?
Maybe I should go to a smaller city, or come home.
At that moment, I missed my parents, the yard where I grew up, and my home.
I stood on the overpass and called my mother, but I didn’t expect to shed tears when I heard her voice. What’s
the matter?
My mother asked me warily.
I wiped away my tears and said with a smile, “Nothing. I just haven’t called you for a long time.”.
Ping An, your voice is not right. Tell me, what’s wrong with you?
Mom, I never dared to tell you.
Last winter, I had an illness– “What illness?”?
Mother’s voice was tense. It
‘s all right, it’s all right.
It’s just a little arrhythmia. You don’t have to worry.
“” Heart trouble?
“” Yes.
That’s no good. That’s a big problem with the heart.
It’s all right, it’s all cured.
Are you tired of working overtime every day?
I only went there twice. You didn’t look at you. I came back at one or two o’clock every day and left early in the morning. How could I do that?
Why don’t I go over there with your dad again, and we’ll cook for you for a while, and eat in the canteen like that every day? “” Mom, I want to go back.
“My mother was stunned at the end of the conversation. After a while, she said,” OK, you come back. Between
mother and son, there is no need to say something, and naturally they all understand. I’ve only been back twice since I
got married, once for the Spring Festival and once for the National Day.
This time back, my mother seems to have decided that my life has changed a lot, she is always careful, do not ask directly, do not mention Xiaoyu.
She just asked me about my physical condition over and over again and made me a lot of delicious food. On the third day of
my return, she took me to the town to meet an old doctor of traditional Chinese medicine she knew well.
Our village is only seven or eight miles away from the center of the town. My mother and I walked along the riverside road and met many villagers along the way.
They were surprised to see me and were very warm and polite.
But looking at their dark skin, rough hands and simple and rustic dress, I have a natural sense of distance.
I feel sad, which is a kind of desolation that I have traveled far but forgotten the way I came.
The old doctor of traditional Chinese medicine said that my body was too weak, so I should take good care of myself and make up for it.
He asked me how long I would be back so he could control my medication.
My mother turned to look at me. She hadn’t asked me this question since I came home, just as she and my father were in the city, and I didn’t have the heart to ask when they would leave. How long
do you think it is appropriate to drink the medicine?
I asked him. It’ll take
at least a week, and then I’ll see how you fit in.
“” OK, then you can drive for a week first. The
mother’s expression was very complicated, with joy and worry.
She turned to the old doctor of Chinese medicine and said, “Let’s start with a week.”. It was the same way
back. I was carrying half a bag of Chinese medicine and walking on the side of the road.
After a long time, the mother finally asked, “How are you with Xiaoyu?”?
“” Oh, whether it’s good or not, that’s all.
The child is still so young, you can’t divorce.
“” I know.
“I swallowed and finally got the courage.” Mom, I lost my job.
“Oh, if you don’t have a job, you can look for another one. I thought you and Xiaoyu had a conflict!” She actually looked relaxed, and her relaxation infected me.
“Well, I’ll look for a job when I’m healthy enough to go back.”. During the few days at
home, I was more relaxed than ever. Every morning I slept until the third pole of the day before I got up. After eating the meal prepared by my mother, I went for a walk on the back hill. I didn’t come back for
so many years, but I didn’t know that the mountains with shrubs in a mess were now green.
The government instructed the villagers to plant tea, and when the harvest was good, they took it back at the guidance price.
My parents also have several acres of land. My father cherishes his tea trees very much. He works in the fields every day and is reluctant to leave when it gets dark.
I went to help him, but he often drove me away. I was almost thirty years old, and I was a head taller than him, but he didn’t want me to do any work.
Without waiting for me to finish my seven-day Chinese medicine, Xiaoyu had quit and urged me to go back to find a job one after another.
I told her that I wanted to take a break, but she began to cry on the other end of the phone. She told me how hard it was to go to work and how hard it was to take care of the children. As she cried, she scolded me for being irresponsible and for being a coward. I didn’t go back
until I finished drinking the Chinese medicine for seven days. The day
I left, my mother walked me to the station, and as I turned around, she stuffed an envelope in my bag.
When I opened it, it turned out to be two thick stacks of money.
Mother had run away, so I had to take the money to the car.
I called her in the car, and she told me that it was the money she and her father earned from tea planting in the past two years.
He knew it was not easy for me to have no job, so he let me take it first.
For a moment, I wanted to slap myself.
When I got a salary of twenty thousand yuan a month, I never gave them money, but now, I can’t do it myself, but I have to rely on them to help.
I hid the money. I didn’t have the heart to use it.
But I didn’t expect that the money would become the fuse of my divorce.
I went back to the city and spent a few days coaxing Xiaoyu and her mother-in-law. After taking care of the children for a few days, I went out to look for a job again.
But the market is not as optimistic as I thought. It’s almost impossible for me to get the high salary I used to get. It seems that I have to accept the fact that my income is declining in order to find a job.
Finally, I finally chose a slightly larger company, with a monthly salary of about 10,000 yuan, a single day off, and performance at the end of the year.
But in the first week of work, Xiaoyu found the money my mother gave me from my bag.
She thought that I had been saving my money all these years, and I refused to take it out when we were in the most difficult time.
We made a lot of noise about it, and my mother-in-law added to it, saying that she would take my ID card to the bank to see if I had any other accounts.
And Xiaoyu, unexpectedly agreed.
This time, she challenged my bottom line. For so many years, my salary card was handed over to her, but she didn’t get her trust.
So I told her, “Well, you go and find out. If you find out that I saved money behind your back, I’ll apologize to you and give it all to you. If not, then we’ll divorce.”. As soon as
I spoke, Xiaoyu froze.
But her mother-in-law told her, “Let’s check it out, and everyone will be innocent.”.
If not, there will be no divorce. What about divorce?
Xiaoyu took my ID card and went to several banks with my mother-in-law the next day. They didn’t find out, but they didn’t apologize to me. Unrelenting,
she said, “Tell me, did you give all the money to your parents when you went back this time?”?
Otherwise, you wouldn’t be able to go back for so long.
Besides, you used to have two salary cards, and I only took one. You said that you only had a subsidy of more than two thousand yuan a month, and I never checked it. Is it really that little? Who can tell? Didn’t
you check the running water?
Will you take my ID card and check my phone records? Or
you can go to the Public Security Bureau to check if I have any criminal record?
Thinking that my mother had insisted on paying for my own medicine for seven days, I couldn’t help but laugh. After all these years, I couldn’t even realize what kind of “warm” family I was in.
I took out the prepared divorce agreement, and this time, Xiaoyu finally cried.
After all, the child is her lifeblood, and the educational resources and living conditions in the city are incomparable to those in our countryside. I
also quit the job that I had done for less than a month. In my thirties, I couldn’t still be floating in the city like duckweed.
Finally, I gritted my teeth and made up my mind to return to my hometown. If you
die once, you will not be afraid to bring the dead back to life.
At first, many people did not understand, and some people said behind my back that I could not survive in the city.
I never go to explain, just feel at ease to drink Chinese medicine, nourish the body, and do something within my power in my father’s tea garden.
I want to wait for me to recuperate, and then think about my own way out, with my network technology, even if I open a small network company in the local area, I can raise myself.
But slowly, I found the way of tea, so, after a long time of research, I registered a tea processing factory.
In the tea season, I collect the tea of the villagers in different grades, and then pack and sell it.
From packaging design, publicity, logistics, I personally do every link.
After all, I have worked in Internet companies, and I know more about what the market needs than villagers, and how to use the Internet to publicize myself.
From tea retail, tea products, tea garden farmhouse entertainment to tea garden eco-tourism, my enterprise has gradually become a large-scale enterprise, which not only earns money, but also promotes local employment.
The “Phoenix Man” returned to his hometown, and the local chicken finally found his place.
My life is no longer as oppressive as before, my body is gradually recovering, and people are no longer so anxious.
Every winter and summer vacation, I will bring my daughter back and play with her in the tea garden, so that she can get closer to nature.
Xiaoyu remarried and gave birth to a second child. Her daughter said that her new father was good to her.
I’m happy for Xiaoyu.
That marriage, I have never regretted, after all, she accompanied me through the most beautiful time, I will always be grateful to her. There is no right or wrong
in life, only right. There are countless fish swimming in the
sea, which have an enviable vastness, depth and passion, while some fish are doomed to swim only in clear springs and streams, in a slow and clear way, facing the sun and wagging their tails freely.
. Focus on not getting lost ~
