When we like the person we love, we tend to devote time and energy to each other, eager to reach the other through giving and pursuing, but many often find ourselves more proactive and push each other further away.
Why is that?
You can see if you have two common faults when you talk in pursuit:
1. Frequent inquiries into risk and loss of location without the other party ‘ s response to the information or response in a timely manner
2. Excessive speculation about each other ‘ s ideas, making talking a burden on one another
If you have, and don’t panic, it’s normal, just to show that you’ve fallen in love with each other.
We’ll take a closer look.
First of all, the other party frequently asks for information or answers in time.
It’s actually an emotional potential game, and it comes from the desire for feedback, especially the need for positive feedback. I’m sorry.
It’s like, you’ve done 80% of the effort, at least you want to get seven to eight, but when you actually get three, you’re in a hurry, you’re disappointed, you’re falling into an imbalance.
If you want to get back on the other side, you’ll want and find proof that you like her.
For example, you sent a message and the other one was late:
What are you doing?
Is there something wrong with me?
If you don’t return the message, don’t contact me.
d. Keep an eye on the phone, and the emotions and attention are taken away.
But the reality may be that they’re just busy for a while without looking at their phones. Or read the news, but was interrupted, so I forgot to answer.
But for you at this point in time, it is because you regard each other in advance as your only and all, without which there is no other choice, that you double the amount of your feelings, and slowly “sink costs.”
In your own view, it is true that there is a great deal of love, a lot of compromise to catch up with the people you like.
From the perspective of the other side: your efforts put too much pressure on the other side, which would make her uncomfortable and try to escape.
Think about it, if you suddenly have someone who’s superb to you and you can’t give it back and appreciate it, that kind of gratitude will gradually turn into pressure and want to escape.
Love is a matter of two people. You like each other, but you can’t ask each other to like you.
In this way, you’ll suffer and lose because you can’t get the love and approval of the other side, and you’ll feel bad enough, and you’ll pay more, not really.
She doesn’t like you, doesn’t mean people don’t. There’s absolutely no need to be touched by one person. Just change people. You can find answers from someone who likes you.
And the second: over-pregnating each other’s ideas, making talking a burden.
You like each other, you’re unconscious, you’re afraid of losing, you’re not confident.
So when you talk, you stay in the dialogue box, and you think about the right answer, and you think about it, and you try to make fun of each other, which is a departure from the nature of love and chat.
It’s good to be in love, to talk, to make them happy. It would not have been worth it, nor would it have been an equal relationship, if every effort had been made to make one happy.
For example:
You start to think about how to respond.
If they don’t answer me, is there something wrong?
C. How do you make people like me when you don’t like me?
So tell you the truth: talking isn’t all about love. No one can say a few words, and they can easily get what they like. Love should be the whole process that gives each other feelings. And you can think about each other, but you can’t focus too much on each other’s ideas, just be honest and express yourself.
The premise of love for one is to love one another deeply. If you lose yourself to get someone. It’s not healthy, it’s bound to be unbalanced.
What if you like a girl and you talk to her every day? That’s the specifics. It’s dry down there.
You like someone. You want to talk to TA every day?
Whether you want to talk to her every day depends on: you like her and you like her.
How do you judge if they like you?
Look at this.
Look at the speed with which she answered your message, the number of words she replied to your message, and whether she would like to be emotional.
These three points are good for you, and they are good for you, and they are not very interesting for you.
Formula: number of words answered + speed of response + degree of emotional input
For example:
You’ve been saying a lot of things, and you’ve been saying, “Well,” “Oh,” and then you don’t have to keep looking.
You’re quick to reply, and when you’re one hour or half-day away from the other, you don’t have to go around asking each other for answers.
It was felt in the responses that she would not continue to be approached on a daily basis if she was only on a case-by-case basis and without any emotion.
A lot of people are not very mature in their emotions: when faced with this “scratching through the pole” they have to ask each other for a statement.
But the real reason isn’t that complicated — TA doesn’t like you.
It’s rude not to open the door and you can never wake up a sleeping man.
So let’s be more emotional, knowing that hope isn’t too much to lose. But if the other side likes you, don’t worry too much about it, it’s time to push forward, so that love doesn’t turn around.
And when you know exactly whether you like each other or not, you can talk about it in different contexts:
It depends on the “comfort” of the two parties. When you talk about “comfort”, you don’t make mistakes.
One, if she likes you, you can talk to her every day.
From each other’s perspective, why didn’t you come to me?
At this point, if you can identify each other’s feelings for you, you can look for each other on your own initiative and make each other’s feelings move faster.
In this case, it doesn’t matter that you look for her every day, but it makes her think that you’re paying enough attention to her.
Specifically:
Formula: state + feeling + daily
For example:
It’s a good dish, XXXX, Balabala…
“I’m just home. I’m tired.”
“I’ll go out weekends with my friends.”
If you see the information in your eyes, you can become the subject of a discussion, and if you like it, you’re willing to take it and listen to it.
It’s not the best option to talk when it’s starting to feel good. One is the need for a normal life for each other, rather than the need to keep talking, and the other is the fact that it’s too close at first, which makes both people feel “up” and leads to a rapid cooling back.
So, the rational use of psychological “scrambling” can give each other both an unsatisfied feeling, an increased interest in you, and a more appropriate overall pace of development.
Scratch: When talking to each other, if it’s late, or if it’s something else, you can pause the subject and leave it with a feeling of “over and over.”
It’s like, when you see the most critical scene in your painting, and suddenly you’re going to pop the ad, “Show it later,” and you’re going to want to finish the ad and wait for the next key story.
Specifically, when talking to each other about a topic, when emotions are high and interactions are high, the topic is cut off and next time.
Formula: High mood + active cut
For example:
It’s funny, too.
You said, “It’s too late today, and next time I’ll talk to you about XXX, it’s more fun. I’m sorry.
The other side: Yeah, yeah.
This creates a feeling of “unsatisfied” and increases the expectations of each other for talking to you.
Two, if she doesn’t like you, she needs to talk less often.
From the other side: What’s going on?
At this point, if you talk to each other every day, or even say, “Have you eaten, have you arrived, what are you doing,” you will only speed up your dislike.
What you really should do at this point is to reduce the frequency of chats and make yourself more attractive.
This is done by reducing the frequency of finding each other and enriching life by focusing on the building of friends.
Formula: two or three days to test chat + friends ‘ circle
Stop looking for each other after the conversation has been interrupted and return to re-establishing the circle of friends until they see and are interested in you.
Build a circle of friends, and do this:
People like positive and healthy positive energy by deleting meaningless, negative, dirty photographs and scripts.
Your appeal will be much higher by publishing serious work, clean photographs, tourist foods and independent thinking.
The “Friend Circle” of the Internet era is a social résumé, which allows friends to know the real you from their daily lives, but only if your own life is really rich and you don’t get to it.
And when you try again, you can continue to talk.
Why don’t you try to exchange each other’s feelings with hard work and emotion when you’re not interested?
When they’re not interested in you, they’ll be more aggressive to let TA run away from you.
Men and women have a sense of mutual attraction.
But many people have the wrong idea that if they love each other, they can give each other more to feel like they like each other.
It’s essentially a self-motion of “false efforts” and it doesn’t help the progress of your actual feelings.
You like others, not because she did something to you, but because she did something to herself. For example: make-up, dress-up, power, beauty, talent, etc.
– Don’t try to give it to each other in exchange for their love, because they love it.
When you’re not interested:
In your opinion, it’s like she’s trying so hard to get away from you.
In her view, you have no interest in receiving your love, unacceptable, unreciprocated pressure to escape.
This is how you look at the “love” from a different perspective, without which you are often caught in emotional error and unable to find the right direction.
And as far as talking is concerned, you’re actively talking to her every day.
Women do not like people who are insecure
Specific expression: Sticky has no private space, likes to guess
On the face of it, it’s like being around each other every day, trying to share anything, finding a sense of identity in the eyes of the other, being a little agitated is very sensitive, causing loss and loss, and guessing.
At this point, girls think that the boy is very immature, that he appears to have grown up, but he’s still a big baby. Every time she talks, she talks like a child, it’s not right to fall in love.
Gradually and increasingly, men with attitudes towards independence are more popular.
b. Free riders, girls don’t like
Specific: Don’t talk to each other for a moment, and answer the message for a second.
If you don’t say anything, you’ll feel like you’re a man who can’t do anything but talk. In this way, you’re filled with a sense of purpose, and it’s wrong to tell each other that nothing else matters to you.
Growing men, first and foremost, are career-oriented.
Love, always after the career.
(c) Low-compensatory, girls do not like
Specific expression: It’s only from its own point of view, it doesn’t care what the other person feels.
When you talk to her, if she’s in a bad mood and doesn’t want to answer, you’ll feel disappointed.
Talk is a matter of time and effort on both sides, and you’re willing to give it, but you don’t have to be angry if you don’t have the time, the mood, the energy to respond.
So you go back to her and she’ll feel like she doesn’t want to split up.
You can feel each other’s feelings, you can have a sense of mutuality, and how the other’s reaction is her choice, and you can be yourself.
Your emotions can’t be touched by each other.
How can we minimize each other’s effects when negative emotions are created?
“Turn” + “Show” + “Estimate” the negative mood of talking.
“Turn”: Diversion.
That is to say, when you like her especially, but she rarely responds to you, it is easy for you to be depressed, and the best solution is to distract.
And you’ll find that if you’re busy, and you’re conscious, you don’t think that much.
Specifically: When she does not respond, does not respond well, does not like you, concentrate on her current work and do something first.
Formula: Diversion + Focus on Things
For example:
– No reply.
You said, “It doesn’t matter. I’ll do my job later. I’m sorry.
When you find the most important thing that’s wrong with the other side’s reaction, the negative sentiment is naturally much less. And the satisfaction you get when you’re done with the endorphins will make you feel full and free of “lomentation.”
She doesn’t like you. You just have to talk to someone who likes you.
Transferring targets is also a good option.
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Many people feel that “love” is at the top of their lives, and most “love brain” is like this, and losing someone is like losing the world.
And as a human being, business, family, friends, dreams are important. Emotions can be added, but they must not be the only snow in your life.
To do this: list your career, your dreams, your family and your friends in a different way, and see what else you can do besides love.
Estimation: Emotional estimates
It is in response and in response to each other that there is now an emotional pre-estimate in mind.
It’s good that the other side answered, and it’s normal not to.
In particular, this is done: before sending the message to the other party, there is a general estimate in mind. Whether words are offensive, appropriate, how well they respond, and even when they do not respond.
We cannot control each other ‘ s understandings and feelings, but we can make a general assessment of direction.
Let’s talk about it. It doesn’t matter if we don’t talk about it.
Instead of expecting too much in your heart, the result is often unexpected.
I hope you’ll be able to make up your mind in the conversation of love, overcome negative emotions, master the frequency of chats and find your own happiness.
Over. Case number: YX11nqzJ33l
I don’t know.
Keep your eyes on the road.
