Home.
Three years of peace talks with a boyfriend is close.
I found a lot of text messages on his phone.
He sent it all to another girl.
“I’m getting married. I’m sorry.
“Are you sorry?”
“I am happier than you.” I’m sorry.
I don’t know.
Until the night before we got engaged, he finally sent her four messages:
“Okay, you got balls.”
“Don’t be stubborn with me, okay? I’m sorry.
“The wedding date is set, the wedding dress is set. I’m sorry.
“If you come back, the bride can be you. I’m sorry.
One.
It was my birthday when Su Wan Ling returned home.
A group of people threw me in when they gave me their birthday.
A woman wears a lamb coat, long hair.
Three or two steps on his heels before us.
Raise your hands and pour the water in front of the teapot on my face.
It’s over. She smiles with her arms.
To the man sitting next to me:
“That’s what you’re talking about? I’m sorry.
“The taste is bad. I’m sorry.
The box is silent.
There was no noise.
She looked up and laughed like a man who was sure of me would spoil her like before.
Like the silence of the world.
A few napkins were smoked by the hands of the land.
Wipe the tea stains on my cheeks softly.
He looked at me with his face, and he looked hard and gentle, as if he could only look at me.
“Yeah, I think I’m looking good. I’m sorry.
“Miss Sue, it’s my wedding with Anne next week. I hope you’ll join us. I’m sorry.
I can’t believe this is what he said.
The woman took a step back and fell on her door.
But when she left, the people in the hall were afraid to come out.
I’ve been looking down, and I’ve still been gentle enough to wipe the tea off my face.
But he rubbed his hands, and he broke his cup of tea on the table.
And with that huge crack.
He’s still smiling.
Look around everyone here.
Including me.
The thin lips were raised, and they whispered:
“Get out of here, will you?”
Two.
Time goes back four years.
Everyone will think that the man Luo Yi will marry is the Su Wanbell.
He’ll buy flowers for half of the city.
He’s unsatisfied and he’s willing to deal with the whole art community for the suwan bell.
Even at every show, he can throw off important meetings, hand-in-hand, and again.
“The iron tree can also bloom.” I’m sorry.
But they ended badly.
So much so that he hated the Su Wanbell.
So that Su Wan bell left the country for four years.
I picked up a leak.
As everyone knows, I was the last person I liked when Su Wan Ling was a student.
I still remember that night when a friend of his was drunk and pointed at me and said:
He’s marrying me for the sake of Soo Wan Ling.
3
It’s cooling down these days and it’s getting late.
But I can’t ask him in any way, even if we’re getting married.
My loan was paid back.
School fees are paid on a regular basis.
Life is saved by the earth.
So I’m not even qualified to do a little resistance.
I looked at the food on the table and thought I’d come back when I had to go to the microwave.
He hangs his suit on the front shelf.
A little bit down and smiled at me.
“Take my tie off, honey. I’m sorry.
The tone of speech is natural.
It’s as if he wasn’t the one who was angry about Su Wan Ling yesterday.
It’s as if he’s not the one laughing at me.
I walked in front of him and looked back at the structure of his tie.
I know he’s looking down at me, looking like a light.
Until he grabbed my wrist.
Bite my ear and say:
“Imbecile. I’m sorry.
“…”
When I was a grown-up, I only did it with Lu-yi.
He’ll never get sick.
This time, it stopped when it touched my back.
How did this scar come?
He and I both knew it.
It’s Su Wan Ling’s work of art.
4
When I was in school, I had an envious friend.
It’s a landline.
Maybe that’s when the concept of class divides us.
Poor students like Us are far apart from the circles of Lud and Su Wan Ling.
They’re a bunch of people who can’t even control their teachers.
There’s all this fighting.
Every day a group of people rushing them.
That’s it.
I can’t even afford the school buns.
I guess I was my friend for a while.
He gave me the textbooks he didn’t use.
Throw me a card and let me eat.
I was very excited to discuss with me the subject of the exercise book.
I was bullied by a group of girls.
He’s in front of me.
He said I’m his man. Stop bullying me.
– It was nice before, huh, he was my salvation.
Until one day.
He told me he had a favorite girl.
It’s Su Wan Ling.
It’s the girl who was bully me.
“She’s got a good taste. I’m sorry.
“That’s stubborn. I like it. I’m sorry.
This is what he said about Sowing, until that moment I realized, and he did not see me.
That night he took me to drink.
Su Wan Ling asked a group to lock me up in the bathroom.
On my back, I carved it with a machete.
I still remember her face, fine and perfect.
Like a ghost from hell.
She said she hated people like me.
5
“You took all the pills on time, right? I’m sorry.
“I think your mental state is much better than before. I’m sorry.
On Wednesday at the hospital, the sun fell on the old table of the clinic through that thin window.
The doctor looked at me through the lens.
“Miss Chan, are you getting married? I’m sorry.
“You’re not going to let your husband know that you have a situation? I’m sorry.
The case report on the table says I’m depressed.
Heavy depression, as if I had it in junior high. My dad said I’d only waste my family’s money.
It was light, but for years it was getting heavier and heavier.
I couldn’t sleep all night.
Anorexic.
I see something sharp, and I try to hit it.
Never felt happy or happy.
“As a general rule, the company and encouragement of the partner will alleviate the disease. I’m sorry.
“So I suggest you speak to your husband. I’m sorry.
Under the table, my hands were tightening up my case report.
Tell him what he’ll look like.
Probably give me some money to treat me?
I’ve always looked in my eyes and said I liked the way I laughed.
So I put a smile in front of him.
He’s probably…
I don’t want to know.
I’m actually a sad ghost.
Six.
I folded the case reports.
Put it in the bag and go home.
I won’t be back so early, so I have plenty of time to cook.
I kept this from me.
Sometimes I think it’s not my fault.
I’ve never seen me seriously before.
To be sure, he was nice to me.
But a lot of things are on the surface.
I think I’m a nice guy to him.
For We knew him for a long time, because I was good, and I obeyed, and I came to him and waved.
The crazy love in his eyes never fell on me.
“Sorry, honey. I’m sorry.
“It’s late. Are you hungry?”
The man went into the door and took his coat off and hung it on the hanger.
He changed his voice over the last few days because we were getting married.
I’m ready for dinner, under the light, I look at him.
I can’t talk.
He raised his eyebrow and walked to me.
The tape of my apron was naturally removed and softened.
“What’s wrong? I’m sorry.
“What’s going on?”
“Lu Lian, I…”
It’s hard to get the courage to show him the case.
At this point, his cell phone in his pocket rang.
Man up.
That day, his face changed dramatically and I still remember it.
Apathy, sarcasm, panic, then collapse.
That look I’ve seen.
I saw him in the face the day Su Wan Ling announced his departure.
Half of the apron tape is unsolved.
He turned around, picked up his coat hanging at the door and took the car keys.
“It’s urgent. I’m going out. I’m sorry.
I tried to scratch his sleeve, but it touched his apathy.
I know, he didn’t want to give me any more explanations.
Close the door.
Put me out of his way.
7
At first, I thought something had happened to his company.
But he didn’t come back all night.
I texted him, he didn’t return.
Call, he’ll just hang up.
It was the first time he hung up on me.
Later, his friends couldn’t watch.
Tell me, it was Su Wan Ling’s suicide attempt.
He stayed by her bed for three days and three nights.
Su Wan Ling slit her wrists, but didn’t even cut her veins.
Doctors have diagnosed mild depression.
I’ve been watching her for days.
Su Wan Ling couldn’t hear the phone ring, so he hung up all the calls.
Su Wan Ling didn’t want him to talk to anyone else, so he didn’t return any information.
When I came to the hospital, Su Wan Ling was in the blanket, with his make-up off and his almonds out.
He was pale, and he saw me, but he was like the beast that was attacked.
“You give me back Lu Yi! I’m sorry.
“Why did you marry Lu Yi? You don’t deserve him!”
She’s hysterical.
It’s been a few days since she was glowing.
I opened my mouth, but I lost my voice for a second, I didn’t know what to say.
I didn’t say anything, and the man who broke into the room pulled him away.
He’s got a bad face, and he’s wearing a blue shirt while he’s gone.
I looked at him and followed him.
The hospital corridor was hurried, and he pulled me to the corner of an empty stairwell and let me go.
“Su Wan Ling has suffered from depression abroad, that’s why he talks like this.
I’ll give you back to her, okay? I’m sorry.
I interrupted him and looked up to him.
He stood there and asked me:
“What did you say?”
“I said we’re not married. I’m sorry.
“I give you back to him.”
“…”
I guess I didn’t think I’d say that, stand there and hold my wrist.
“Stop it, Su Wan Ling is depressed. I’m sorry.
“She’s sick. Don’t argue with her, okay? I’m sorry.
I kept my head down for a long time before I said that.
“But I do too. I’m sorry.
He’s in there. I seem to be laughing.
“You have depression too? I’m sorry.
“How can you be depressed if you laugh so much? I’m sorry.
“Stop it, okay? I’m sorry.
“…”
I stood there, looked at him, looked at him for a second or two.
The throat appears to have been choked by something and the heart dipped into slow acid.
I just want to run away and get out of this place.
So I turned around and went to the hospital exit.
Rudd didn’t catch up.
8
I hit a car and drove to the old house.
I’ve actually been home a very few times.
Even getting married was on the phone with my dad.
He doesn’t care, says he doesn’t want to go to my wedding, says he wants my mother to go.
But I’ve been looking for my mom since I was a kid, and that woman won’t be back in a year.
The house is said to have to be demolished, and it’s worth a lot of money.
But my father was even alert to me because he was going to give it all to his little daughter.
He and… another aunt had a little daughter.
Through a little messy little yard, I pulled the bell.
There’s a man running over to open the door.
“Stars, home, tired? I’m sorry.
“Did you study well?”
And when he saw me, he smitten his face, and changed his tone.
“What are you doing here? I’m sorry.
“…”
“Dad, let me see if you’re okay. I’m sorry.
I squeezed out of that tiny door sew.
He always thought I wanted his property and didn’t want me to come in.
I looked around the house and there were pictures on the wall.
My dad, an aunt and a girl laughing at the camera.
This is the family.
No… I…
“Hey, you’re back. I’m sorry.
The door was again opened and girls in high school uniforms entered the house.
My dad changed his face and asked if she was tired.
The girl seemed reluctant to look at him and went straight into the room.
My dad’s looking at me.
“I’m telling you, the stars are now in the third critical period. I’m sorry.
“Don’t bother her. I’m sorry.
“I’m afraid she’ll get infected by someone who’s been dying all day! I’m sorry.
“…”
I’m nodding my head, I’m looking down, I’m trying to make myself laugh.
“Dad, I’m sick and it’s getting worse. I’m sorry.
“The doctor has given me a lot of medication, and sometimes I’m hallucinating.”
I’d like to say something in the organizational language, but he’s already interrupted me.
“What’s wrong with you? You’re just being nice! I’m sorry.
“You’re not strong enough! You’re not resilient!”
“It’s true that the medicine now is a bit of a lie. I’m sorry.
“It’s about money! I’m sorry.
“…”
So all my words go down my throat, and I don’t know where to start.
The words that follow have become extremely difficult.
“Dad, I don’t want to get married. I’m sorry.
He jumped and laughed at me.
“What? I’m sorry.
“Well, I know you. I’m sorry.
“That’s how you’ve been since you were a kid. I’m sorry.
“This time, I’m sure he’s pissed off. I’m sorry.
“I’m telling you, take your temper away! I’m sorry.
“Who wants you like this?”
“…”
I don’t know how long I’ve been silent, how long.
Until it started ringing again.
Until the eyes begin to wet.
The sound of his fall over his head.
“Cry! Cry!
“How old are you? I’m sorry.
“What depression, you’re too weak! I’m sorry.
“Be strong! It doesn’t make sense…
“…”
It’s never going to end, because the other woman’s voice is gone.
“Ah, Ann, you’re back. I’m sorry.
“Don’t yell at the kids! I’m sorry.
“Ann, would you like to stay for dinner? I’m sorry.
It’s the new woman my dad married.
She smiled at me, and asked me.
“Ann, you want to stay for dinner? I’m sorry.
But three chopsticks on the table.
Hold it long enough, I shake my head.
Step out of the house and walk into the night.
9
It seems that from these days onwards, the night has been particularly hot.
I’m wrapped in clothes, staring at traffic.
It was as if, at a moment, the silver thread had gathered into the beast, and came at me.
I know, it’s always like this, and I’m starting to have a hearing again.
I heard my dad say:
“You’re just not strong enough!” I’m sorry.
I heard my former classmates say:
“She’s a coward. I’m sorry.
“If I wanted to, I would have resisted! I’m sorry.
And I heard Lu say:
“How can you be depressed if you laugh so much? I’m sorry.
Black Mabach parked in front of me and the man dropped the window.
Put your eyes on me with your steering wheel.
“Why are you crying?”
“Come home with me, huh?”
“…”
I realized it wasn’t an illusion.
It’s Lu Lian, really in front of me.
I don’t know how he found me.
I thought he was still with Su Wan Ling.
He can’t leave Sou Wan Ling alone.
And in the night, his eyes were as dark as the pits of man.
As though he were sure of me.
I will never escape.
But what choice do I have?
I looked back at the light in the building behind me.
Dad told me that I was too gentle, too selfish.
So.
Is it good to laugh?
Is it good to obey?
Will that make you happy?
I opened the door and sat in.
Man down, rubbed my head.
In the corner of my lips next kiss.
“Don’t pretend to be depressed, huh?”
“Next time, you won’t be patient. I’m sorry.
10
I feel like I’m getting better.
He’s been so nice to me, even making me uncomfortable.
He’s not interested in all the things he used to do at weddings.
But today he’s taking me to choose the dress.
In the luxurious store, the veils folded over and over.
Sitting on the sofa, he picked a few wedding dress styles.
I can buy my dad’s car at the price I can see.
I put on the wedding dress with the help of the shopkeeper and walked through the long hallway to the men.
He looked at me with his back on the black couch.
“Do you like it?”
The men went up, held my waist, staring at us in the mirror with me.
He kissed me in the bedroom.
“You don’t like to laugh, Ann. I’m sorry.
The water drills are attached to a layer of folded skirts, and the light is dazzling.
He grabbed my cheek softly.
Too nervous?
“Don’t be afraid. I’m sorry.
So the clerk went back, and he changed the rest of the dress.
Men hugged me, chined me in my neck.
Bend over and dialed my ear.
“What do you like?”
I’m standing there. I haven’t looked back.
He rubbed his head softly.
“Forget it, both. I’m sorry.
I don’t know.
Later, he took me to the playground.
He seems to have to make up for all our regrets in these days.
When I was in high school, I did go to the playground once.
But I’ve never been on any of these.
I was only looking at them far away.
Look at him and Sou Wan Ling laughing.
This time he held me in his arms.
The carousel swayed gently, with a moving view.
There’s a couple in the seat next to them, and they smile sweetly.
“Look what they do. I’m sorry.
The man fell on my neck and sneezed on my waist.
“What they do, we can do…”
“…”
When passing through the street of the playground, a bear doll ran into it.
He’s been fighting us for half a day, so I know.
You can take a picture with us for free and send us a balloon.
I’m not really the type of person who’s involved in social activities.
But on that day, the ghost had a bad day, and we were caught together by little bear dolls.
A little awkwardly staring at the camera.
My eyes are frightful, but I smile.
The photographer shot a few.
I added micro-letters from Bear dolls, and the photographer said we’d get the photos.
Then we went on a Ferris wheel.
By the time we were on the Ferris wheel, the sky was already dark.
So, at the top, we didn’t see a good view.
I started crying again.
Who wants to be upset all day?
Who wants to be bullied so bad they can’t fight back?
But I really can’t.
Whenever I want to be active, pain and disappointment will come to me.
I feel like I’ve been walking in the dark.
It’s the tenderness of the alms.
I thought that was the only light I could touch.
Eleven.
We played late to get home.
So when I was groaning, the man next to me laughed.
He put my hair in my ear and asked me:
“What do you want to eat? I’m sorry.
I’m surprised.
After all, Master Lu doesn’t touch the sun.
Maybe I looked at him for too long, and he looked up.
“You don’t believe me?”
Wave to me.
“Come, wash my onions. I’m sorry.
“…”
He called it for me.
It’s a bowl of noodles and an egg.
But even so, he’s very rusty.
I’ve never seen a kitchen before.
I don’t even know if it’s cool or cold.
I’m sipping, I’m making, I’m making, I’m making, I’m making, I’m making, I’m making, I’m making, I’m making, I’m making, I’m making, I’m making, I’m making, I’m making, I’m making, I’m making, I’m making, I’m making,
Saved the egg that almost burned to carbon.
He held the stage helplessly and laughed at me.
“You’ve got a wife to do this.”
With a little tuning, bit the tail when you say the middle name.
In the end, we’re on this side of the bowl.
I don’t know.
I haven’t noticed. Look out the window.
The heavy rains have intensified.
The living room’s hot lights are shaking, and there’s a living view of the face that sells bad faces.
We’re in this silence again.
The rain is like the noise outside the window.
I admit, I’ll remember that night later.
I still think that everything that happened before that second had shaken me.
Just, life is not what it is.
The doorbell was ringing and woke us both up.
Quick and intense, accompanied by a door knock.
He frowned after a second or two and rose up and opened the door.
Show the curtains.
It’s whistling.
There are wet women.
“What are you doing so late? I’m sorry.
The sound lines are flat and flat.
But he was obviously emotional about the woman he was seeing.
It’s Su Wan Ring.
She’s pale.
I don’t know if it was intentional or not.
She’s got a perfect makeup.
It’s like a white Lotus in the rain.
It’s broken and pathetic.
“You…”
The woman laughed, turned on her phone and looked at him.
“You sent these pictures to get me here. I’m sorry.
“…”
It’s a little distance from them, but I can see a general.
The photo on the phone is a picture of me and Lu Yi going out today.
He’s on the social platform.
Men’s eyebrows aren’t loose.
Hold your arms.
“You’re mistaken, Miss Sue. I’m just sharing my life. I’m sorry.
“If there is nothing else, leave…”
It says, “Low to the door.”
The woman reached into a hand and grabbed the door frame.
The two were silently confronted.
I think I’ve seen that kind of expression.
It’s a man who probably won’t hold up.
And…it’s a landline.
So love her on earth.
After a long silence, women step back two steps.
I found her crying.
Cry and nod.
And I was like, “Well, I’m like, you know, I’m like,
“Yes, yes, yes, yes…”
“You’re an asshole, you’re mean. I’m sorry.
The rain outside the door fell on the woman, as if she were not touched.
“You never send pictures, send those…”
“Don’t you want me to come and show me? I’m sorry.
“You want me to be jealous, right?”
Somehow, the closing motion stopped.
His eyes were dark and he couldn’t see it.
“I’ll tell you now, yes! You did it! I’m sorry.
“I’m jealous! I’m particularly jealous.” I’m sorry.
“When I saw you with other women, I felt bad. I’m sorry.
“Yes…”
“I love you! I love you! I’m sorry.
“Don’t you want to hear it? I’ll tell you now, okay! I’m sorry.
“I like you. I like you especially, you bastard. I’m sorry.
“I’ve been thinking about you all these years abroad, and I’ve…
Women’s eyes are red, like a scared rabbit.
It’s not hysteria, it’s hysteria.
She smiled, word by word, softly.
“I am…”
“I don’t know how to watch you and other people happy.” I’m sorry.
“How can I live without you? I’m sorry.
It seems that important decisions were made, and she stepped back two steps back and went into the rain.
“It’s my bad, Lulu. I’m sorry.
“I don’t have the courage to love you anymore. I’m sorry.
“You bastard…”
“Living well. I’m sorry.
Su Wan Ling looked up and looked at me lightly.
The eyes fall back on the surface.
“Don’t let my fool fall in love with you in the next life…”
“…”
The door was suddenly opened.
Fine rain pours into the house.
Kurasar’s leaves were torn by the wind.
I see the way the landing goes.
I look at the look on Su Wan Ling’s face.
I watched the rain pour.
Land up front, blocking her lips.
12
It’s just a gastric mood that suddenly steams inside me.
I don’t think I can stay here anymore.
What should I do?
I should do something about it.
Watching them kiss in the rain?
Or did you finally admit you were worthless?
Finally.
I’ve never been seen before.
The house had a backyard, and I left it without thinking about it.
It suddenly became clear what it meant to run away.
I don’t want to be in their eyes.
I don’t want to see the smiles of the Su Wanbell.
That moment, her face.
It’ll be reconnected with someone who used to cut my back with a handiwork knife.
I don’t know.
Raindrops are spinning in my world.
I finally know how worthless I am.
My life doesn’t make sense, Dad, Mom, Lui, nobody needs me.
At that point, the cell phone screen was flashing.
I look down.
It’s the bear we took today.
He sent me two pictures.
I’m with Lu Yi and I’m stuck with a bear.
I can’t help but laugh.
The bear added the following sentence:
From now on, live well. I’m sorry.
I looked at that picture, and the rain clouded my eyes.
Life.
And for me, it’s like walking on a blade.
Just as I wanted to catch a emptiness, the dagger was strung into my heart.
I answered him:
“I can’t live. I’m sorry.
I don’t know.
My life is meaningless.
I stare at cars coming up the driveway.
Close your eyes and go in.
13
“I said, little girl! What are you doing? I’m sorry.
“How dangerous? I’m sorry.
How dangerous is it? What if they run over us? I’m sorry.
The car came to the other side of the driveway, and I was crouching with an uncle.
He put his hands on the rain and looked at me.
“You…”
“Well, what’s the problem when you’re young? I’m sorry.
“We can get help from the family, or.” I’m sorry.
“Sensei, the police, whatever… no more, no more, no more. I’m sorry.
“Don’t think about it. There’s plenty of good things in the world! I’m sorry.
“…”
I held my knee and listened to him all the time.
The plan to storm the road and let the traffic take me is not complete.
The driver in the truck stepped on the brake and dragged me to the side of the road.
The rain was splattered on the water, and at the end I was slapped on the shoulder.
“It’s okay, aah.”
“Sister, I have to deliver, I have to go first. I’m sorry.
Remember, smile!
The man got into the truck and he hit me with two horns.
The truck slowly went far, and I was still sitting on the stone steps.
When I looked down, I found more than 20 text messages in my phone.
It’s all from the bear.
“I can’t live.”
Full screen, all the messages he sent me.
“You can’t live without it. I’m sorry.
“Well, what are you thinking?”
It’s been a long time. I haven’t heard back from him. He sent it to me again.
“Can I ask you one more word? I’m sorry.
“What happened? I’m sorry.
“Can you answer me?”
“What’s wrong with you? Are you there?”
Hello? Hello?
“Don’t you ever come back to me, okay? I’m sorry.
“I’ll tell you a joke. I’m sorry.
“One day, crabs came out and accidentally hit the mud. And the muddock says, “Are you blind?” The crab said, “No, I’m a crab. I’m sorry.
“Ha ha ha ha, isn’t that funny? I’m sorry.
After a while, I was being dragged by my uncle, or didn’t return to him.
He started asking me seriously:
“If you’re still here, would you mind telling me about you? I’m sorry.
“The world is still beautiful anyway. I’m sorry.
“I don’t know what to say, but I’m waiting for you…”
The rain seems to be getting smaller.
I was standing by the road and I turned his text.
We don’t even know each other. He’s willing to say so much to me.
Maybe it’s because we don’t know each other.
I edit information and send it to him.
“I’m too weak. And no one likes me. I’m sorry.
“I don’t deserve to live, really, I don’t deserve. I’m sorry.
He was almost seconds back to me.
“Who says, I like you. I’m sorry.
It’s almost as if I’m just trying to comfort myself.
He then sent me a message:
Besides, you have your parents and your parents like you, OVO. I’m sorry.
I’m going back to him.
“My mom went abroad when I was in elementary school. I’m sorry.
“My dad married an aunt when I was in junior high. I’m sorry.
“When they had their daughters, my dad used to hit me. I’m sorry.
After those words had passed, there had been a long silence on the other side.
And then I saw him send me:
“I promise I’ll like you no matter what. If I lie, I’ll blow my brains out. I’m sorry.
Feels like a childish word.
But I look and my eyes are still sour.
I gave him a word back. Thank you.
Stand up and shake around and find your place.
Suddenly, I found something.
Somehow I can’t talk to anyone.
He was a smiling shopkeeper and suddenly became a big mouth in my eyes.
The bright and gentle lights of the halls spread a repulsive smell.
I can’t get the ID in my pocket. I can’t talk to people.
One step forward and you’ll be standing in that shell.
I’m getting scared and talking to people.
14
Finally, I sat in the park chair.
The hearing started to get worse.
I realized I didn’t take the pills.
But I don’t want to go back.
And We covered our heads and endured the night.
I feel like I’m roasted on fire.
I’m sorry.
Until the sun rises on a new day.
Dawn breaks early.
I know it’s been another day, that’s all.
Cell phones are running low.
But at this point, a text message came in.
Nobody texted me this time until I saw that little bear.
He said to me:
Morning. I’m sorry.
“I like you this morning, too. I’m sorry.
“…”
I think I’m going to be entertained by this text message.
But unconsciously, he was, like everyone else, an abomination.
I stood up and borrowed a recharacterizer from my self-help unit and charged my phone.
It’s like the city cooled after the rain.
I was standing by the street in my pocket.
It’s as if everything in the early morning was so dead.
There was no sign of a hurried walk.
I sat in front of the convenience store, from morning till noon.
I don’t know what to do, where to go.
At one point, I felt like I was empty, dead.
My life is meaningless.
The phone stunned and another message came.
“It’s hot and spicy for lunch. I’m sorry.
“Did you eat well?”
“Oh, yes, and I like you at noon. I’m sorry.
I looked at these texts on my forehead, and I thought it was ridiculous.
What do you like?
So I went back to him.
“No, I’m still alive. I’m sorry.
He crossed my topic.
“Have a nice day?”
“Not happy. I’m sorry.
I’m going back to him.
“Well, I know. I’m sorry.
He said,
“Because happiness is hard to get in the eyes of the happiest. I’m sorry.
I think he should be a very happy man.
He never understood people like me.
But then he kept texting me.
It’s okay to share everyday.
I don’t care.
Say like me too.
Always looking forward to my response.
It took me days to figure it out. He was afraid I was gone.
I did spend those days on the trigger.
When my sight falls on a fruit knife in a convenience store, it happens that his message goes in.
“Do you like strawberries? Strawberry puffs are so sweet today I don’t like sweets, but I want you to taste them. I’m sorry.
“Because they say sweet people can be happy. I’m sorry.
When I walk by the lake and stare at the lake, his picture comes out.
“This bear’s ear is broken by a bear child. I’m sorry.
“You don’t want the love of an earless bear, do you? I’m sorry.
Keep an eye on the phone.
I don’t even know myself. I can bend my tongue sometimes.
But my dreams are always sad and brief.
I ran away three days later.
Ruoxi found me.
15
I thought he’d never look for me again.
Even if he came to me, he told me he wouldn’t marry me.
But he came up and asked me to marry him.
I frowned and looked to him.
“Marry”?
“Are you kidding me? I’m sorry.
“I can’t marry you. I’m sorry.
But his eyes were red, his voice was dumb and he whispered my name.
“And Anne, Anne, I’m sorry…”
“It was my fault that I kissed Su Wan Ling that day. I’m sorry.
“I… I thought about it a long time before I realized that I liked you.”
“When I was with Sowing, I dreamed of you. I’m sorry.
“I’m used to you, I can’t forget you, I can’t live without you…”
I’m staring at the man in front.
He said he’d been looking for me for a long time.
He said he’d pay me anything, his price, everything.
He said if I hated him, I’d kill him myself.
But my throat seems to be stuck there.
Can’t get up, can’t get down.
I feel pain, disgusting, disappointed, angry.
What does that mean?
Have you seen me like a human being?
I’m nothing. I’m nothing.
I didn’t even think of myself that day.
I’ll raise my hand and slap him.
The man was strong and he didn’t say anything.
His face was on the other side, he was blind and his voice was dumb.
“Absolute?”
“…”
I shake my head and look at him.
I found me shaking, I was scared, I was scared.
I don’t know why I’m so scared, why I’m not scared because of me.
I just want to run.
I tried to escape again.
It’s like a flood beast chasing me.
I didn’t turn back, run back.
In the phone, there was a text sent a minute ago.
I said, there’s someone I’m afraid to find me.
He answered me.
“Let’s run away together. I’m sorry.
“Go to the end of the world. I’m sorry.
I heard someone calling my name behind me.
The soundlines of the earth were mixed with panic and panic.
He told me not to go.
He said I couldn’t escape.
But I didn’t look back.
Never.
16
My meeting with Bear is probably a Facebook page?
The first time I saw him, he was in a bear doll.
So I keep calling him Bear.
He said he was waiting for me at the airport.
Actually, when I went, I was ready to run away.
Because maybe the phone’s okay.
In reality, I’m so scared of people.
Strange, opposite sex.
These two words make my skin numb.
But I don’t want to go back.
I know, Lu Yi will find me soon.
When I got to the airport, it looked like he was following him.
I wandered around in the crowd, trying to get rid of my men.
And as soon as We were dispossessed of the Six, suddenly a white hand reached forth.
Pull me around.
“Nothing, don’t be afraid.”
“I’ll take you away, okay?”
Soft.
Easy line.
For a moment, I didn’t react.
Blinking, blinking again.
Confirm.
It’s half a head taller than me.
A man who used to comfort me with a little bear doll…
It’s a girl.
17
“Let’s go this way. I’m familiar here. I’m sorry.
The girl held my wrist and took me through the flow.
She’s wearing a baseball suit, a cool dress.
She knew the place well, changed the flight and took me on another plane.
So, when we were on the plane, it was so good that I didn’t even respond.
It’s like trying to ease a slight gap between us.
She held her chin and asked me.
“Can I have your phone?”
I’ll hand her the phone.
Seeing me so clean, she smiled first.
“You’re not afraid I’ll take you away? I’m sorry.
I lean on the back of the chair, softly.
“I have nothing to lose. I’m sorry.
“…”
I’ve always said some sad things without control.
I thought she’d get bored.
But when she smiles, her eyelashes bend.
“Oh, that’s right. I’m sorry.
“I have a lot to lose. I’m sorry.
“I can share with you. I’m sorry.
I don’t know.
This season coincides with the great season of travel in the mountains.
There’s not a lot of people here, and I’m looking up and I’m breathing.
Tighten your clothes.
The clothes do not fit, because they belong to Baequan.
Oh, by the way, her name is Bae Quan.
I had less clothes on, so I had to wear her first.
She’ll ski and I won’t.
She said she taught me first.
But my head can’t turn around.
When she slipped from above, she flipped over.
She laughs, she laughs, she smiles, she laughs in the snow.
“Ann, you’re sliding and you’re protecting me? I’m sorry.
I looked at her, slowly.
“You’re good to me, so I’m good to you too. I’m sorry.
“Ha ha, fool.”
She looked up and looked at the blue sky.
“Peiquan, do you think I’m useless? I’m sorry.
My side head, ask her.
She stood up and walked in front of me.
Bend over and pinch my cheek.
“How can it be useless? You’re useful. You’re the best. I’m sorry.
My hair was rubbed by her.
Don’t even think about it! I’m sorry.
“You little fool. I’m sorry.
“…”
There is a burning spot in the mountain, the post office.
You can write a wish letter here and send it to yourself in 10 years.
The wish is said to be fulfilled.
Me and Bae Quan.
I don’t believe it, but Bae Quan forced me to write it.
So I wrote, I hope my depression is cured.
I actually know that these days, though the snow is floating on the mountains.
I’m still not happy.
I can’t be happy.
Some things just forget.
But people can’t keep forgetting.
It’s like being pinned to the side.
Once remembered, it is the abyss of pain.
18
That night, I went outside the hotel behind the back of Peiquan.
There’s so much snow in the sky.
I know, I can’t delay Pei Quan anymore.
She’s a good friend of mine.
Very good friend.
I don’t think I’ve had such a good friend in my life.
So I can’t let my anger haunt her.
I want to say goodbye secretly.
As he went out, he heard my name being called.
I’m back.
It’s her.
The night was blowing, and she put her hand in her pocket and looked at me.
I’m coming one by one.
Then reached out and pushed me.
That was the only time I ever saw her angry.
That’s a good half.
I thought she’d yell at me.
She’ll hurt me.
She smiled at me:
“If you keep running, you’ll be happy. I’m sorry.
“Then let me run away with you, okay?”
In the snow of the mountains, I looked at her.
I was so bitter, I asked her why.
She said.
“I like you. I’m sorry.
Since someone like you is the reason you live.
Well, it’s up to me to like you.
19
There’s a lot of things going on in the mountains.
And be quiet, nobody bothers.
Me and Baequan piled my first snowman in my life.
Found the North Star by the mountain.
She bought a book. It’s Bronze.
Then on the page, write my name down.
That day, we were at the hotel, discussing tomorrow’s spa plan.
It was a discussion.
She suddenly turned her head and said:
“It’ll be better tomorrow, right?”
I got it. Nod down.
She got out of bed before me.
She’s got nice eyes, not pure black, amber with starlight.
I call it hope.
“Ann, whatever you lose, you’ll make up for it. I’m sorry.
“Daddy will apologize, Mom will come back to you. I’m sorry.
“…”
I look down and look at her.
She said everything would be okay.
That makes me even sick of myself.
I’m so depressed myself.
Weak yourself.
Not strong yourself.
The snow outside the window is still falling and the lights are off.
I keep my eyes open.
Until she felt her breath calmed.
I sat up.
I want to kill myself.
I want to be sad, sad, disappointed, so I’m happy in front of her.
I wanted to show her my joy, but I couldn’t.
I got up gently and then went through her bag.
She kept my phone away from me.
Today I see her frowning towards it.
She said things would be fine, but really?
Turn on the screen, white light falls on my face.
My dad called me a dozen of them.
So is Rue.
There’s one person I can’t even think about. That’s my mom.
My dad texted me:
“Why are you missing? I’m sorry.
“I heard Lu said you ran away? You told me you were married to Lu Yi! I’m sorry.
“Big money, don’t you want to tell your father? I’m sorry.
“I tell you now! Now! Come back and marry me! I’m sorry.
“Oh, yes, the bride price is for your sister. I’m sorry.
“Not much. Your sister’s going to study in England, so you can give her to graduate. I’m sorry.
“Come back and get married!” You know what? Don’t get me wrong. I’m sorry.
Another strange number is a text message and a colored letter from a woman.
“Do you think you can take me from me? I’m sorry.
“Oh, so what? I’m sorry.
“I’m sorry, he was once in my possession. I’m sorry.
“Let me show you some pictures. Don’t get mad.”
The photo attached.
It’s all a big picture of Lu Yi and Su Wan Ling.
I turned my face off and turned it over.
Then I read the last text.
It’s my mom sent to me.
Mom.
God knows how long it’s been since I’ve seen her.
When I was a kid, the last thing I expected was for her to come home.
The best thing she can do is stop arguing with Dad.
I’m shaking to open text messages.
There are only two lines.
Very few.
“Don’t come looking for Mom again. I’m sorry.
“Mom had a family. I’m sorry.
“…”
The snow was flying out of the window, and when it came back, the tears fell on the screen.
But what’s the point of crying?
Why am I only sad?
There’s another phantom, a distant song.
It’s a small time.
Mom and Dad were still together.
They sing me lullaby.
Dad put me on his shoulder.
Run in a little house and ask me if I’m happy on a little plane.
Mom was laughing and touching my head softly.
At that time.
At that time.
I’m their treasure too.
20
It’s really snowing today.
In the afternoon, there were weather forecasts of avalanches in the mountains.
So the hotel told us not to go up the hill.
Bae Quan is still asleep.
She didn’t sleep well, she was covered, her feet were exposed outside.
I laughed at her, and I gave her the covers.
He turned on his phone and transferred all the money to her.
Finally, look at her.
I’m sorry, Peiquan.
I still feel…
I’m tired of living.
I don’t know.
The snow on the mountain is really big.
I stepped in the snow one by one.
If you fall, get up and keep walking.
I don’t know where I’m going.
But I know this is where I end up.
Falling to death on the hill.
It’s freezing to death in the snow.
Killed by beasts on the hill.
Anyway, I can get out.
I can finally get out.
Life washed over and over in the mud.
A life full of darkness.
Can’t see the light of life.
I fell in the snow, looking at the night sky of the world for the last time.
It’s just that the snow is too big for the North Star.
We found the North Star together.
I closed my eyes.
I don’t know.
I don’t know.
I don’t know how long.
I heard someone calling my name.
I don’t want to open my eyes, but she’s yelling.
But the ice is numb in the skin.
Her hair, rubbing my cheek a little bit.
“Ann, wake up. Don’t sleep. I’m sorry.
“Ann, we’re going out. I’m sorry.
I heard her voice. She’s a girl. How can she touch me?
How did you find me?
How to find me.
I cried on her back.
Just crying, crying.
I suddenly found out that the only place where our skins were attached was the remaining temperature.
Why me?
Why did you save me?
I’m a useless man.
Why save a man whose life has no meaning?
“Ann, what is the world of depressed people? I’m sorry.
I suddenly heard her ask me.
I hold her tight, slowly.
“is a silver gray. I’m sorry.
“The snowflakes come to us as beasts. I’m sorry.
“The distant pine forest is the sea, and the sky is covered with clouds. I’m sorry.
“There’s someone singing on the hill. I’m sorry.
“What song?”
She asked me.
Probably trying to keep me awake.
But I don’t have the strength to answer her.
She fell.
I fell in the snow with her.
She came to hold me tight and dragged me away.
“Ann, Ann, wake up. I’m sorry.
“I can sing too. It’s a fairy tale. Shall I sing it to you?” I’m sorry.
“When we’re done, we’ll get out of here.” I’m sorry.
“Ann, listen to me sing. I’m sorry.
In the open snow, suddenly the sound of singing.
She’s on my side. She’s got a terrible sound. She’s walking and singing.
“The white mountains are snowflakes. I’m sorry.
“Foot on the girl’s head. I’m sorry.
“The long road has light. I’m sorry.
“Snowflake is a piece. I’m sorry.
“I’m gone. I’m sorry.
“…”
The cold wind is still whistling.
And I reached out with my hands frozen and unconscious.
Hold her sleeve.
21
Human, running, medical equipment.
I heard someone crying.
Someone’s scolding.
I opened my eyes.
A woman fell on my bed.
“Ann, Ann, are you awake?”
“You’re fine, you’re fine. I’m sorry.
There’s something strange about the woman in front of you.
I was staring straight at her.
My dad was rubbing his hand around me.
It took me a long time to say three words: I’m sorry.
And then my mom yelled at my dad.
Why didn’t you find me depressed?
When they were arguing, I sat up and ran outside the ward.
I fell and I thought about it and ran.
Got a hand.
“What’s wrong? Ann?”
Yes…
He looked at me worried, and I pushed him away.
I’m probably scared of my eyes.
There he is.
But I don’t care about these people.
I just want to know.
Want to know.
I was rescued, and Pei Quan.
Bae Quan should also…
It’s the closest hospital to the mountains.
Plus the snow is heavy at night.
High frequency of accidents.
It’s always search and rescue teams and doctors.
There was some panic. I hit several pieces of medical equipment.
Finally got the doctor.
Ask him about the girl I rescued with.
But he ignored me and took care of the other patients.
I’m restless looking around.
Suddenly, a familiar identity card was drawn.
In that moment, everything stopped.
Shadow, voice, ripple.
I’m there.
Look.
Just watch.
It’s been introduced to people.
It’s covered in white.
Cover your face.
I don’t know.
It’s like some kind of hysteria in your ear.
A lot, a lot.
It’s all she said to me.
“Ann, you’re sliding and you’re protecting me? I’m sorry.
“How can it be useless? You’re useful. You’re the best.
“If running away makes you happy, let me run away with you, okay? I’m sorry.
“I like you. I’m sorry.
“It’ll be better tomorrow, right?”
I don’t know.
“The white mountains are snowflakes. I’m sorry.
“Foot on the girl’s head. I’m sorry.
“The long road has light. I’m sorry.
“Snowflake is a piece. I’m sorry.
“I’m gone. I’m sorry.
“…”
…it’s gone.
Quantified
“Congratulations, Mr. Chan, on the acquisition of the Luthor Group. I’m sorry.
“On the way forward, you are a bright future! I’m sorry.
At the press launch, I kept a decent smile on the light that was shining.
Until then, the interview was interrupted and such a question was raised.
“It has been said that you were married to Rudd, the former president of Ludwig. I’m sorry.
“Is there any personal grievance in this acquisition? I’m sorry.
“Mr. Rudd’s in jail. Does it have anything to do with you? I’m sorry.
I wouldn’t have had to answer that kind of charade.
But this time, I turned my back on the phone and took the floor.
“This acquisition is just a normal business merger. I’m sorry.
“As for Mr. Lu Yi’s imprisonment, I can only say that it was the result of his mismanagement of funds and irregularities. I’m sorry.
Lights flashed at me.
I’ve been able to answer several questions.
After the launch, I had to have a drink.
The secretary whispered to me.
“These reporters, they treat you like anyone else. I’m sorry.
I laughed.
“They think I’m anyone, and I’m sitting here. I’m sorry.
“That’s right. Where’s the Su Wanbell?”
The Secretary noded and kept reporting to me.
“As you asked, she was placed in a glass room where she could see the release. I’m sorry.
“She was so excited, she couldn’t help it. I’m sorry.
“But there’s no way she’s a psycho now. I’m sorry.
“She deserves it. We don’t have any sympathy for her. I’m sorry.
“…”
I nod my head and sort out the watch on my wrist.
“Don’t let her find a chance to commit suicide. I’m sorry.
After all, I’m a man of good will, and I won’t let her die. I’m sorry.
“She has to live and see me alive… to the top. I’m sorry.
The secretary accompanied me out of the hall.
Like she thought of something.
“Oh, yes. Do we want primary school to continue giving?”
“In the name of Miss Peiquan? I’m sorry.
When I heard that name.
I can’t help but see the gentleness of my eyes.
Nod, tell the driver I’m going home before I go back to the company.
My father’s property.
He left a few years ago.
The rest of the estate, his daughter wouldn’t dare fight with me.
I was bored with my chin and looking out the window.
That’s when the next secretary suddenly said,
“General Chen, by this year you have donated more than 500 elementary schools. I’m sorry.
“In fact, these funds already account for most of your expenses. I’m sorry.
“They all say you’re cruel, you don’t recognize them. I’m sorry.
“But I think you’re a gentle man. I’m sorry.
The car was parked at the door of my home, and I looked through the mailbox.
Listen to the secretary and laugh.
Finally found a different envelope in the mailbox.
I’m relieved.
Fortunately, the mountain post office in Kyaashiyama did not close.
The letter was written to me that day ten years ago.
Put it in the sun.
Look at the yellow handwriting.
The breeze blows, the little flowers by the mailbox.
That’s a good one, I’ll take a breath.
That day.
And what Bae Quan wrote to me ten years ago…
“Now you’re on your own. I’m sorry.
Document number: YXX1ogBkaKt5DMdkp1sdPdj
I don’t know.
Keep your eyes on the road.
