How does it feel to give up someone who likes it for a long time? – What?
The boyfriend who was young, fell my cat for his heterosexual “brother.”
Then he stood in the rain all night, begging for my forgiveness.
“If you forgive me, I can do anything. I’m sorry.
And We packed his gifts together and threw them in the trash: “Will you make amends underground?” I’m sorry.
One.
The third year of exotic love, cold vacation, I’m at home and on video.
“What time’s the flight tomorrow? “I’ll pick you up at 10:00. I’m sorry.
“Don’t worry, you can sleep a little longer.” I’m sorry.
“I want to see you soon. I’m sorry.
The last time we met, it was the Fourth of July.
“Me too. I’m sorry.
And he paused, and suddenly said,
“I might bring a friend home for a few days. She’s from the South. She’s never seen snow in the North in the winter. I’m sorry.
I am keenly aware that he mentioned this man’s intimacy.
So I asked, “Is it a boy or a girl?” I’m sorry.
“A schoolgirl, went to the Association of Photography, took a few times with me. I’m sorry.
He’s a mean guy. I didn’t think about it at first.
The next day, when I went to pick up someone, I met my schoolgirl.
Her name is Yao Tsing, and she’s beautiful, with a small skeletal skeletal and five fine-looking Southern girls, but she’s very good.
When I met her, she came to my shoulder and asked Lu-yan, “What do I call your girlfriend, your sister-in-law?” I’m sorry.
I’m not used to being close to strangers, wrinkled and watched the landing.
He saw my discomfort, reached out and shot Yao Sin’s hand:
“Sap you, my girlfriend doesn’t like this — she’s my class, just call me Aoi. I’m sorry.
Yao Tsing’s back seemed to be stunned for two seconds, and then called me “Aoi.” I’m sorry.
On the way back, Luyan asked me, “How’s the guillotine doing?” I’m sorry.
“He’s fat again. My mom said I’d hang out with him for a little while. I’m sorry.
Loving against the back of the chair, laughing:
“It just tastes like there’s no limit. I’ll see it later. I haven’t seen you in a semester. I don’t know if she knows me. I’m sorry.
I was just about to say that Yao Zing suddenly came to me and said, “Who is this? I’m sorry.
“A cat we found together in junior high was kept at my girlfriend’s house. I’m sorry.
Before I left, I had a bottle of local orange soda in my car, which Luyan always loved.
He took a sip and put it back in the side of the cup.
However, after a while, Yao-Chio naturally picked up the soda and took several sips.
I saw the scene in the rear-view mirror, and my men were keeping their minds on the wheel.
“Oh, that’s right. My dad used to put water here. I’m sorry.
“Don’t forget your father. I’m sorry.
I turned my head at him while I was in the red light, and I reached over my hand holding the wheel and whispered:
“You haven’t seen me for months, why are you staring at me?” I’m sorry.
There was also some unhappiness, and that was the result of this contact.
I shook my head and said:
“My mother went out to buy ribs early in the morning and said you must miss her craftsmanship. I’m sorry.
“Oh–“and it’s a long tune, “So Li is jealous and thinks she’s partial to me? I’m sorry.
“Luyan! I’m sorry.
“All right, all right. “My mom hasn’t been on your side since childhood. Every time you come to my house, she cooks a table, she doesn’t put a chili on, and I’m just gonna have to bring some chili sauce for my own meal. I’m sorry.
I admit that the landing is about the past, more or less with a little deliberate element.
I don’t like yao-tsing very much.
It was clear that Luyan also noticed this, and when he stopped, he took advantage of Yao Sin to get out of the car and slipped into my ear.
Are you upset? Don’t worry, it’s just a friend who will never shake Lee’s supremacy in my heart. I’m sorry.
When we got out of the car, Yao Zing smiled and said, “It’s so good to have a relationship with her.” I’m sorry.
Jealous? “I envy myself when I look back at her.” I’m sorry.
“I can’t dare. I’m afraid I don’t know anyone. But if it’s like this, I can! I’m sorry.
“There’s the right guy, I’ll take it for you.” I’m sorry.
Yao Tsing’s hotel is not far from our neighborhood.
Then We turned to Our lips and went forward.
Rudd came after me and grabbed my wrist.
“Did your subordinates upset Her Highness again? I was promised a big hug. I haven’t hugged yet. I’m sorry.
I stopped and looked at him, “Isn’t it a fear that I might hold you to your sister?” I’m sorry.
I was held in my waist and carried in my arms until the sound was dropped.
“Don’t mind her.” He buried his face in my shoulder, whispering, “I haven’t seen her in three months, I want to kiss you. I’m sorry.
Two.
I spent my life with him from a young age.
From primary school to high school, we go even to and from school.
At the end of the high school exam, Lu-yang confessed to me under the wraid wall of the school.
It’s all natural, it’s all watery.
We were admitted to different schools when we signed up.
I stayed in the city, and he went a thousand miles away.
At first, I didn’t feel the relevance of exotic love.
We have a foundation of feelings and a common memory for more than a decade, even if we are not together in the morning or in the morning.
When the class is not so busy, Luyan will fly back to see me and go back after three or five days.
The slight feelings of alienation disappear in the moment of meeting.
I came home with the landing, opened the door, and the hordes came running, and then stopped a few steps away, shrunk together and watched us with some surprise.
“What, you don’t know me for three months without seeing me?” I’m sorry.
I picked up the cat on the table and handed it to him, and the guillotine slowly came over and ate it, and scurryed around his feet.
After lunch, Lulu and I washed my mom’s dishes and went into the room.
I closed the door, and he grabbed my wrist on it.
“Lock it back, Lee. I’m sorry.
The next second, the burning kisses were printed up.
I closed my eyes and focused my attention, but there was a knock on the door: “Hey, Jing, come out and eat some fruit. I’m sorry.
I almost jumped, but the smile became more obvious.
He said, “Okay, Aunt, we’ll be out in a minute. I’m sorry.
It then opened the suitcase and looked for the gift I brought back.
I sat by the bed, and I saw a pink, strange bag on the corner of the box.
When I picked it up, I was dragged back by the hand: “Don’t move, it’s Yao Sin’s camera.” I’m sorry.
“Why is her camera in your box?” I’m sorry.
“Oh, she’s small, she can’t put it away, she’s stuck to me. Bring it to her tomorrow. I’m sorry.
Rudd didn’t answer very much and showed me his gift.
It’s a soft scarf and the latest ipad.
“I thought you said you wanted to study. Take it to the Internet class. I’m sorry.
I’m holding the tablet and I can’t say whether I’m happy or not.
The Luyan family was located in the neighbourhood across the street, and his parents were not home, so he finished his dinner at my house.
It’s snowing outside.
“It’s snowing, it’s cold, go home early.” I’m sorry.
I stood at the door of the building, grabbed him and whispered, “No one will come to your house, or stay at my house tonight.” I’m sorry.
After a moment of silence, he shook his head: “It’s okay, I haven’t been home for a long time, and I’m going to clean up my house.” I’m sorry.
I went back and talked to my parents.
In the gap, pick up the cell phone and open the circle of friends with your hands, and suddenly you stand there.
Ten minutes ago, Rudd released a new dynamic that he was standing under a street light with a side image of the snow. I’m sorry.
My senior high school colleague, Zhang Si Jin, wrote the following message: “Has he taken it for you? I’m sorry.
And he said, “No. I’m sorry.
3
It took me a while to get in there and send a message to Luyan.
“Did you not come home? I’m sorry.
He didn’t answer me right away.
I sat on the sofa and the tiara strangled around me and fell asleep.
I’ve got a lid on his head until his cell phone shakes, and my heart’s full of unbridled emotions, and it’s like it’s in a concrete shape.
“On the way back, Yao Sin called me and said she wanted to film the snow, and I sent her the camera. It’s home now. I’m sorry.
He replied, “Why aren’t you sleeping? I’m sorry.
“Waiting for your message. I’m sorry.
And then he called me directly.
“Li, it’s late. You should go to bed. The heart was bad, still up late. I’m sorry.
I don’t know if it’s because of the current, he’s got a little sandy nostril in his voice.
I was silent, “Did you drink? I’m sorry.
“Drink a little, she went out with Yao-Chio, she was so excited, she went to buy a beer, I didn’t finish it, I just…”
He came here with a sudden tone, as if he realized what he had said.
A moment later, I whispered:
“Luyan, I don’t think I know you. I’m sorry.
The phone hung up and I went back to the bedroom, lying on the bed, staring blindly at the ceiling.
In his head, he keeps reminiscent of the day car.
Yao Tsing was so natural to pick up the drinks that Lu Yan drank, as if she had done so many times before.
This semester, me and Luyan only saw the Fourth of July.
And he never mentioned this man to me in countless previous conversations.
Then there came a noise outside the door, and after the sound of the far and near footsteps, the door was blown: “Li, are you asleep?” I’m sorry.
“…”
And when he entered the door, he said, “I have deleted the circle of friends.” I’m sorry.
“The wine I didn’t drink the same can with her and asked the clerk for a cup of paper. I’m sorry.
“I told Yao-Chio, she came to watch the snow, and now it’s almost New Year’s. I’m sorry.
He said so much, and I still didn’t react, just shuddering in silence.
That was one of the gifts I received from Luyan on my birthday years ago.
For a while, I finally said, “Can you delete her?” I’m sorry.
“Yes. I’m sorry.
Luyan promised without hesitation.
He took out his cell phone and deleted his friend Yao-Chio’s friend in front of me and sat down by the bed and grabbed me.
Don’t be mad. He said, “I’ve waited a long time to see you when I get home, and I’ll be back in a year. I’m sorry.
He rarely calls me that, and his voice is so tender.
My heart was soft in a moment.
I’m almost with Lu Ying on the whole winter break.
The sense of distance from the land just disappeared.
After school, I had to reduce the frequency of chats with Luyan because I had to start studying to prepare for the study.
On a number of occasions, I turned on the video and then read the book and looked up and looked at me.
In April, on his birthday, I took a special leave from school and flew to N to find him.
I didn’t tell Luyan before I went.
So when I stood at the south entrance of their school and took out my cell phone to send him a message, I hit him face to face with a camera, and I was laughing at Luyan and Yao-tsing.
Me and him were standing there.
4
I turned around and came up, and I said, “Li, listen to me.
I turned to him and said, “Okay, explain.” I’m sorry.
“My camera fell on the lawn in the morning when the photo club had a twirl, Yao tsing said her hat fell, and we went back to find something, so we left alone. I’m sorry.
He said to show me his cell phone.
Indeed, 40 minutes ago, Rudd had another man in his group at Ait, and asked him to take the team back to school and say he was going back to the camera.
But what a coincidence.
My hand was tied to my backpack, but Yao Zing followed me and felt guilty:
I’m sorry. Don’t get me wrong. I didn’t mean to be alone with you. I’m sorry.
“You don’t talk, you shut up.” I’m sorry.
Yao Tsing is in place, and there’s a blemish in his eyes.
“Sorry I didn’t mean that. He rubbed his eyebrow, “Go home, I’ll be with his girlfriend.” I’m sorry.
I suddenly wanted to laugh.
And then he really laughed.
“Luyan, what are you doing? I said, “Do you want me to give you two an award? I’m sorry.
The sun in the sky is simmering, and the light of the fire shines on his face, and suddenly he has a little more fatigue in his eyes.
“Stop it, Lee.” He said, “I really have nothing to do with Yao-tsing, so don’t do this. I’m sorry.
I put up with the sound, “So you brought her friend back, right? I’m sorry.
“Yes, I did. That’s because last week I was sick in the hospital, I couldn’t get my school card out, she paid me for my medicine, so I gave her my money back. I’m sorry.
Luyan’s hair is cold. He lighted his cell phone a few times and handed it to me. “Come on, you see, did I talk to her besides the transfer? I’m sorry.
“You were sick last week? “Why didn’t you tell me? I’m sorry.
“You’re busy studying the subject, how can I worry you? I’d like to say a few more words on your video, and you’ll send me out with a book brush. I’m sorry.
It’s just that I don’t know what to do.
“Li, I know that school is important to you. But we’re in love and you’re taking a little time to care about me, okay? I’m sorry.
I hold his phone and look down.
On the screen, there are only two single transfers and receipts.
Apart from that, there is no word left.
“If you’re upset, I can still delete her now. I’m sorry.
And he reached out with his cell phone, and I whispered, “No, don’t delete it. I’m sorry.
He probably heard the apology in my tone, and then a moment later, he fixed his mind and opened his arms at me: “Come on, hug.” I’m sorry.
That night, Luyan stayed with me at a hotel outside the school.
He kissed me for a long time, and he stopped the car before the last step, and he turned and sat up: “I’m going to have a glass of water and calm down.” I’m sorry.
As a matter of fact, since I wanted to leave that thing behind until after marriage, three years together, me and Luyan never came that far.
But this moment, without knowing where the urge came from, let me grab him by his wrist: “Don’t go.” I’m sorry.
Turn around and look at me.
Under a warm yellow light, his well-articulated face seemed particularly confusing.
“Li…” he softly moved his throat, “Do you know what you’re doing? I’m sorry.
His voice was mute and his tone was in danger of shaking my heart.
And I took back my hand and pulled up the covers and covered my face: “No thanks. I’m sorry.
“I’m not in a hurry. I’m sorry.
The next day, on his birthday, I went with him to the Sea Hall and the hilltop cable.
By the evening, he called some of the students of the photo society and said he had an appointment for dinner.
When I met him, I found out there was Yao-ting.
“…”
It was confirmed yesterday that there was no other connection between them.
But I saw Yao-tsing smiling in the face, and at that moment, my heart was inexhaustible.
On the way to eat the hot pot, a man stopped in front of us and said to Yao-yan and Zing:
“I’m a student of the great photography department of Y, come out to practice. It feels like you two are really a couple. Can I get you a couple? I’m sorry.
I turned my head and found Yao Zing on the other side, almost on his arm.
She smiled and said, “Okay. I’m sorry.
“What’s good? Who wants to shoot you? I’m sorry.
“Are you stupid? My girlfriend is still standing here. Are you kidding me? I’m sorry.
I’m sorry, Aoi. I’m sorry.
That said, she did not see any apology.
Others explained to me:
“Sister-in-law, don’t be angry. Yao-chan is such a big, big girl. Luk’s true to you, that’s the sun and the moon. I’m sorry.
And We covered our lips, and said, “Yes.” I’m sorry.
I only felt so far away from me.
The light on the side of the road was on him, and we’ve known him for 15 years.
But his eyes were as though they were in the open ocean.
I can’t see the emotions in his eyes or his heart.
Back in time, we’ve been sitting in a hotpot.
Yao Zing and others were laughing at the food, while my hand was held by my side, and whispered, “Li.” I’m sorry.
“Sir. I’m sorry.
My eyelashes trembled: “Why do you not push her away?” I’m sorry.
5
He looked me in the eye: “Will you believe me if I say I didn’t notice? I’m sorry.
I don’t know what to say.
Believeing or not, or turning him off from Yao-Chio, or even making a scene like this, will not relieve me of the negative moods that are rising inside me.
In the end, I was just bowing my head: I’m sorry.
Forget it.
Believe it or not, forget it.
Having eaten, they set up a few rooms in the neighbourhood and said they were not going home tonight, went for a few rounds of table tours and lived directly outside.
And when it really started, whatever identity card Yao Tsing had, she was clearly in Bao Yuyan.
In the end, the other two guys fell on their cards and yelled at yao:
“Do you know how to play? Protect your boyfriend like your fucking son. I’m sorry.
“She’s not my girlfriend.” I’m sorry.
“Oh, it was a girl licking a dog. I’m sorry.
Yao Tsing took the picture: “Will you talk, who will lick the dog?” Are you in your way? I’m sorry.
She drank a lot of wine just now at the hotpot, and her eyes were full of drunks.
Those two were even more angry, and a few were left to stand up and play round.
It’s a mess.
At last, the emotions in my heart reached the top, standing up and walking away.
When he came all the way to the door, he grabbed my wrist and said, “She was drunk, she was not thinking.” I’m sorry.
“Luyan, you know what?”
I took a deep breath and tried to keep my voice calm.
“A few months ago, when this man appeared before me for the first time, you kept explaining and explaining all the actions between her and you. Even if what you’re saying is true, have you ever considered that there is a simpler way to stop this from happening? I’m sorry.
“That’s why Li Jing, because I’m in love with you, I have to not have any heterosexual friends.” I’m sorry.
The opposite sex, my friend.
I remember earlier when he downplayed in the video: “Just a schoolgirl, not important.” I’m sorry.
And without realizing it, the balance of his heart has turned upside down.
More than two months have passed.
How many times has he and Yao Tsing been in contact alone — even as “friends” — in the two months that I spent with him when I couldn’t do it?
Was it true that Yao Tsing was so natural and generous when he was mistaken for a lover?
“Luyan. I said, “I don’t think we’re getting married anymore. I’m sorry.
And it seemed as if he had been inspired by it, and the light in his eyes had sank.
“I’ll talk to her, okay? He bit his teeth, and he said, “I’m going to go talk to Yao-tsing, and I’m going to cut her off and I’m not going to talk to her again, okay? I’m sorry.
“Will you be satisfied with that, Li?
When the door fell off and a loud sound passed, there was only a light drink in the room.
I remember that while I was eating, Luyan drank.
His friend, who was carrying a glass, came and touched me and was stopped: “My girlfriend has a bad heart and cannot drink.” I’m sorry.
He remembers it all.
I came to surprise him.
I stomped on the bed and cried without a voice.
I didn’t know how long I was crying, and I fell asleep, and it was a long time later, and I woke up.
The phone shows the time, it’s 5:00 in the morning.
The room was empty and empty.
Oh, yeah, he’s looking for Yao Sin.
And then all night without coming back.
I feel like I’m shaking a little bit, biting my finger and I’m getting harder.
I didn’t untie my teeth until the stings came through, and I sat up and started packing and going to the airport.
It’s already noon.
The heart beats very fast, and the temple jumps, and I breathed with my desktop, and I took two pills and fell asleep on the couch.
Until the doorbell woke up.
I opened my eyes and, after a moment of loss, slowly walked through the door.
I thought it was my parents who stood outside the door.
When I woke up completely, I was closing the door, and he held his hand against the door and forced it.
I was also able to see a provocative smile with Yao Tsing behind him.
“Li, listen to me. “Lujan probably woke up to the wine and looked at me a little anxiously.
“Yes, the Chief came to me last night and said he cared about you and feared you were mistaken, so he didn’t want to go out with me anymore. I’m sorry.
Yao Tsing’s like, “We’re just friends. I know Aoi’s insecure, but…”
The temple began to jump again, and I tightened the doorknob and tried to contain the tremors in the sound:
“Can you take your senior and get out of my house? I’m sorry.
“Luyan, let’s break up. I’m sorry.
He looked at me like he couldn’t believe it.
Yao Zing is still on fire: “Aoi, don’t break up with me…”
I said, “Shut up! What is your business?” I’m sorry.
The scene was full of messes, and the group came out, and the warning grunted, and jumped on Yao-ting, and a claw scratched her neck.
“Aah! I’m sorry.
She screamed and pulled up her entrails, and he turned and bit her in the hand, and he threw her away.
After a dreary sound, the raisins slipped off the wall, twitched twice on the floor and then stopped moving.
It’s stuck in my throat. I’m gonna jump over and hold the rib.
It’s a cluttered, snowy, hairy cat, but it’s full of hairy hair, and it’s covered in red with eyeballs.
We were all standing in the land, and for a moment there was an unbridled wilderness, and only the sound of the wind could be heard.
A long time later I looked up and looked up.
His lips trembled twice, and the light in his eyes went down in a flash: “Li.” I’m sorry.
“Don’t call me that. I feel like I’m losing all my strength. “I’m sick of it. I’m sick of it. I’m sorry.
Six.
I took her to the hospital.
It’s rigid, and the doctor says that the fracture of the skull and the haemorrhage of the brain are no longer coming back.
It’s actually a stray cat I was working with in junior high.
It was raining, it was stuck in a sewer well, and we did a lot of work to get it up.
Then we fell in love, and Luyan said, “When we get married, we’ll get a little tie and let it walk in front of us as a flower boy.” I’m sorry.
I’m a lot more fond of her than me.
And as soon as I come home, it will come running, crawling around at my feet, even jumping into my arms and burying its head in my chest.
Even with a cat stick, it’s never been so passionate to him.
And after the sound of the far and near footsteps, I heard the sound of the rising over my head.
And I looked up and looked at him with a blind eye: “What is your name, Luyan? What is it that you are asking? I’m sorry.
From the reflection of his eyes, I saw myself clearly.
Full of hate.
He fell on his knees in front of me and his voice was shaking:
“It’s my fault Li, let’s save another cat and I’ll save another cat with you…”
I was about to speak, and suddenly my eyes fell on his shoulder.
There’s a bright red mark.
It’s like an invisible big hand strangling my throat, or being immersed in the bottom of the lake, and I’m barely breathing.
It took me a while to pass, and I laughed: “You didn’t notice, did you? I’m sorry.
And he held his hand over his shoulder with the collar that he had torn apart.
And then he didn’t talk.
The empty hallways of the pet hospital have only the sound of the window.
“So you slept before, didn’t you? I’m sorry.
He didn’t answer, just looked at me desperate.
“Lujan, it’s dirty, you’re dirty. I’m sorry.
And everything that happened was like the frame of a film.
And he followed me silently, and I was lazy to drive him away, but I buried the guillotine in silence, and put a bunch of daisies in front of his tombstone, and a jar that he did not eat.
When I got home, my parents stopped Luyan outside the door.
Because they grew up together, they saw Luyan, and they always laughed.
For the first time, I saw my mother angry at Luyan: “What have you done?” What did you do to him? I’m sorry.
She even tried to jump and get hugged by my dad.
He looked at the landing and said, “Go back, I won’t let you step into my house again. I’m sorry.
I had a lot of broken dreams that night.
When I was seven years old, I was in primary school, and I was at the same table as Yuyang and Yuyan.
Dreaming that on the day of his tenth birthday, when he made me angry, I left him in my face for a day, and he bought me a double-covered cake, laughing, and saying, “Yi Li, no one cares. I’m sorry.
Dreaming of a rainy day when I was 14 years old, me and Luyan were crouching next to the water well, anxiously looking at the condo inside.
Dreaming of an 18-year-old summer, me and Luyan stood under the walls of the raisin and accepted the unexpected confession.
I thought I’d wear a wedding dress and walk with him to the end of the red carpet.
I thought distance was not a problem. I could really stop everything.
I thought I would overcome a temporary separation for four years.
It’s all my fault.
From a friend to a lover, the youngest and brightest 15 years of my life were tied together with Luyan.
When we look back at any one episode, there is almost his presence, and we are almost inseparable.
I woke up that night with the sound of Spring Thunder.
Got a bag from the storage room. I started packing.
From the age of seven to now, every present given to me by Lu-yang is filled with two bags.
It’s all packed up. It’s all light.
I went downstairs with a bag and I saw Ruan outside the unit door.
He was all wet and completely poured out of the rain, as if he had stood in the rain all night.
When he saw me, he was dumb and called, “Hey…”
“If you forgive me, I can do anything. I’m sorry.
I threw those two bags of gifts into the trash in front of him and looked at him face-to-face: “Fuck you.” I’m sorry.
“Go to the ground and make amends to the pack, and I’ll forgive you. I’m sorry.
Once upon a time, I thought the eyes were beautiful, light brown, like a permber in sunlight.
But when the eyes are filled with regret and grief, they are like a squalid mud.
“Luyan, do you know?” I said, “I was going to the target school, this time in N, to tell you this. I’m sorry.
“Why are you so dirty, you can’t stand it? How long have you and Yao-tsing known each other? Aren’t you a senior? I’m sorry.
“Stop it, Li.”
His eyelashes shook and his tears fell.
“It was an accident. After going back to school, she went to the villa in the suburbs, and she was drunk and cried and asked me why I deleted her friend…”
“But I never thought I’d have to have her later. Lee, I just wanted to marry you. I’m sorry.
“Yeah, you didn’t think about having sex with her, you just enjoyed it. Not only that, but you have to show off in front of me. You know I like you, and I thought it would make me forgive you. I’m sorry.
I looked at him face to face, “Luyan, we’ve known each other for 15 years. I’m sorry.
“The three years of love are my happiest three years. Even if we meet in a year, not even a quarter of the time before, I feel a step closer to that beautiful future when I think about the long decades that lie ahead. I’m sorry.
“But you don’t think so. I’m sorry.
“Yo Cing drank, did you drink too? It’s only the third year in the diaspora, and you can’t stand to be lonely; the future is so long, the marriage is so frivolous, isn’t it, that there’ll be millions of yao-sings? I’m sorry.
And he looked at me, and there was despair in his eyes: “But I am sure that I love you, Li.” I’m sorry.
“Perhaps, but now I see you just sick, and I can’t help it.”
I raised my hand and threw a slap in his face, “I hope you stay away.” I’m sorry.
“Stop bothering me or I’ll call the police. I’m sorry.
“or kill you or die with you. I’m sorry.
7
It’s not easy to remove the tracks from my life.
After a few days at home, I went back to school.
Housemates saw me, surprised.
“Why do you look so ugly? * She reached out with her hands in fear * I’m sorry.
And We shook our heads, and rounded her back, whispering, “Something has happened, but I cannot speak now. I’m sorry.
She touched my head with peace: “It’s all right, you can tell me whenever you want. I’m sorry.
She went to the canteen tonight to buy dinner and brought me one too.
I opened the bag and suddenly I heard her hesitate:
“When I came back, I saw your boyfriend standing downstairs. I’m sorry.
“Did you fight? I’m sorry.
“I broke up.” I’m sorry.
She was like, “Aah,” she was like, “I’m sorry.” I’m sorry.
Everyone in this class, who’s a little familiar with me, knows I have a boyfriend and grew up together.
And even though they were envious: “Isn’t there no one but you? I’m sorry.
Then We raised the lips with shyness and pride, and said: Yes. I’m sorry.
By my own deduction, I once fully believed that, like me, there was no other thought.
How ridiculous.
I put a lot of links to the wedding dress and the suit in the shopping collection, and all the decorations at the wedding.
I always thought that, although it was still a long way from that day, it was a lot of stuff and a little bit of a pick.
That night, I was lying on the bed of the dormitory, and I deleted one of more than 800 items from the collection.
I didn’t cry when it was deleted, but I couldn’t help but remember.
It’s not that no one’s ever said anything about me in the last three years.
It was only when they spoke that I refused.
Most people are also very well-minded and politely say goodbye and leave.
There was only one sportsman who gave me flowers and stuffed me under the library and dormitories to try.
He ended up angry:
“You really think your boyfriend didn’t think of anything else? Men know men best. Three years, maybe he ate them behind your back! I’m sorry.
But I totally believed in Luyan, so I just smiled:
“I wouldn’t mind if it made you feel better. I’m sorry.
I trusted him so much.
Why do I trust him so much?
The next morning I went to school with my roommate, and he was standing under a tree in the morning fog that had not been dispersed.
I thought he’d come over and tell me something.
But he didn’t move. He just stood there and was greedy and looking at me.
That’s what happened in the next half month.
He didn’t seem to go back to class, and he didn’t pay attention to anything else.
As if he had understood something, every time he met, he would be careful to keep me behind his back and stare at me.
One day she had dinner at the dorm, she was drunk, and on her way back she was waiting, pointing at him and yelling:
“Why didn’t you hesitate when you did the wrong thing? What happens now, what you regret, what you pretend to be?
Rudd looked at me in silence.
After a few days, the school organized an 800-metre survey.
When I was a kid, I had a bad heart, and then I took a long time of medicine, and it was almost normal.
I ran very slowly, but I wondered whether it had recently been depressed and had affected my body, and then I was gushing on my knees, suddenly black and fell down.
In the middle, someone picked me up and ran away.
He smells like he used to be familiar, and now he’s a stranger.
Finally, I opened my eyes in front of the bed at the school hospital, and I saw a worried roommate and standing not far away.
I figured out who the man who brought me to the hospital.
Then, after a moment of silence, We said to his companion, “Get out of here and I will speak to him alone.” I’m sorry.
She looked at me worried.
I shake my head, “It’s okay. I’m sorry.
When she left, he took a step forward and looked at me, “Li.” I’m sorry.
I grabbed the glass from the cupboard and hit him hard.
And he did not turn away, and let the glass fall upon his forehead, then he fell into pieces, and the blood came down with a drop.
“Does it hurt? I looked at him and even laughed. “What are you doing? Think I should thank you, or do I want to forgive you? I’m sorry.
The hand was rubbed under the forehead, and the brow was not wrinkled when the blood was seen.
“Don’t come to me again, but for your parents’ sake, I would have called the police. I’m sorry.
And he looked at me, and he woke up red, half-twirled, and he squeaked like a fog in his throat:
“We don’t have any more, do we, Lee? I’m sorry.
“Why did you think you and I could have had a future after everything was gone? I’m sorry.
I closed my eyes and opened them, and I looked at him as calmly as possible.
“Lujan, I used to like you, and I put in my collection a lot of the rings, clothes, wreaths, hand-to-hand gifts that we had at our wedding. I am taking our path with all my heart, and none of the scenery along it can attract me. I’m sorry.
“But you’re attracted, you’re staying, you’re staying, for that… I’m sorry.
I went on to say that I wanted to dump all the pain I felt in those days:
“I thought we’d all be shy to leave it on our wedding night, but you must still be the one who guided me. We’ll have a child, I hope, a daughter, taller, and then you can teach her basketball. I’m sorry.
“That’s what I’ve been thinking about all those long nights I couldn’t see. I’m sorry.
“And you, you’re in Yao Sin’s bed. I’m sorry.
He covered his face in pain, as if something had struck him: “Please, Little Lee. I’m sorry.
I looked at him and smiled:
“In fact, the other day, Yao Sin added my best friend. Those conversations that you deleted, she sent me, and her camera stored Kari, your picture, your photo and her photo.”
His eyes were as if he had been left behind after a tsunami, in a state of disarray, without a chance.
The first time I saw Lujan cry so sad.
The mood of remorse and despair has been blown to the highest balloons, filling almost all of him. And the sound of the sand from his throat was as though the roar of the trapped beast.
He cried to me once, only once.
In his second year of high school, he had a broken bone on the field, and I ran in a panic and saw him with red eyes, but biting his teeth and not making a sound.
My heart was sore, I cried, I cried so badly, and finally I was consoled.
But it’s old.
It was before we could never go back.
I saw him cry at the moment, and I felt nothing but bored.
“Go, Lu-yan, and leave me alone. I’m sorry.
“I have a long future, I have a wedding, I have children, but it’s none of your business. I’m sorry.
8
There are too many memories between me and Luyan.
Whether it be long warmth and love, or short and bitter hatred, they already form part of my life, and I cannot be completely cut off and continue with my memory.
At the end of the summer, I went to a tattoo shop, and I had the rib tattooed inside my wrist.
When I came home, I ran into Luyan at the door of the neighborhood.
He sat on the bench, looked at me with his head, and he whispered:
“Li, I know you’re sick of me, so I’m moving out. I’m sorry.
And the sun fell upon him, and made his face almost transparent.
That second, it’s like time and space overlap, back to the past.
When he was 17 years old, he sat in the school bench, and the sun was shining at me, and he waved at me: “Li, come here, I’ll give you a present. I’m sorry.
Not without notice, it seems that after we have been separated, and I have hated him to the extreme, the love for me is more profound and enduring.
And I just find it ridiculous.
If I had known that day, why would I have done that?
“Let’s move out. I said, “I really don’t want to see you without saying goodbye.” I’m sorry.
He laughed low and low, “Well, good.” I’m sorry.
After a long time, I really haven’t seen Lu-yan again.
“Congratulations, congratulations, but I’ve only been able to send a message from a strange number until the day I came to the shore to study and get my offer.” I’m sorry.
No notes, no deposits.
But I guessed it by no reason.
I finally deleted the text and hacked his phone.
In the second year of study, I met a boy named Zhao Zhongtuan.
He’s a graduate student at the next medical school. He ran into me at the hospital.
He and the men who lived and lived were two opposites.
Luyan’s love is spacious and splendorful; but Zhao Zhou Zhou Zhou Zaiukawa always looks at me with tenderness and silence, and his eyes seem to accommodate me.
He saw my wrist tattoo, but didn’t ask.
He only confessed to me at the graduation day.
When I came home, I was accompanied by my boyfriend, Zhao.
He found his job at my place of origin.
My parents obviously took a breath.
But my mother seemed to have something else on her mind, and she hesitated for days before she told me about Luyan.
Or death.
“About six months ago, it was lymphoma cancer at the time it was discovered. Without chemo, he came back sneaking back and saw you with Zhao and left school. I’m sorry.
“It’s like you’ve been drinking since you graduated, and you’ve had a hard time, and your body’s broken.”
I was digging for watermelons, and it took me a long time to get my voice back: “I know.” I’m sorry.
On weekends, my boyfriend and I went back to high school.
The bench is still under a line of willows on the edge of the playground, and looks very old.
I held my hand under the arm for a while, and I finally found the groove that I found when I was 17.
He said he’d give me a gift and then called me over and pointed to that place and said,
“If you need anything, come look for it. Maybe I’ll put a little surprise gift in it. I’m sorry.
And then he did, and I found a little perfume in the dent, a little waxed note and a little silver ring.
Like a treasure hunt in a fairy tale.
And this time, I still felt a piece of paper wrapped in wax.
Open up, there’s only one short sentence.
“Good-bye, Li. I’m really going to make amends for the group. I’m sorry.
The boyfriend came by curiously and asked me, “Who’s the coz?” I’m sorry.
“That’s the cat I tattooed on my wrist. I’m sorry.
He sensed that I was in a bad mood, hugged me, and whispered, “What about the man who left the note?” I’m sorry.
I rubbed the note in pieces and threw it in the trash can.
“A insignificant stranger. I’m sorry.
I don’t know.
Keep your eyes on the road.
