I’m Jiang Aejo because my father’s name is Jiang and my mother’s name is Joe, and they love him so much.
I’ve hated that name since I was a kid, and it reminds me that my birth was a mistake.
The first thing I did when I was 18 was to change my name.
The new name is Jiang Ming.
I want to forget the past and start over.
One.
My parents love each other, the most loving couple I’ve ever met.
Children born in such a family are supposed to be happy.
And I never felt happy.
Sometimes I even think that, since they love each other so much, they can’t have anyone between them, including their children. Then why did they give birth to me?
Oh, I remember. They weren’t supposed to have me.
It’s my fault I got lost and ran the wrong place.
They did discuss it after they got married, and they don’t want kids anymore.
But my mom got pregnant unexpectedly.
The doctor said that my mother was not in good health and that her health could be affected by the operation.
My dad didn’t want my mom to get sick, so I was just kept.
Two.
My dad’s a little famous photographer, and his work will be in influential magazines abroad.
My mom is a talented painter, and she’s sometimes inspired to make paintings that sell at a good price.
It’s a profession and a hobby, which shows that they’re not the kind of people who can stay in one place.
Artists like to wander and experience different lives.
Six months after my mother was pregnant, and after the doctor ‘ s strong warning, she stopped running around and stayed at home for months until I was born.
And my dad’s been through this with my mom.
At last, my mother is finished with Tsukiko.
Throwing me at my grandmother’s house for the full moon, these two suffocated men were flying all night to the African steppes to enjoy the natural beauty.
3
When I was over two years old, these two men, who ran around the Earth, returned once.
That time, my mom looked at me with a cute face. She’s got her paint and brush and drew me some cat beards.
That pigment contains very heavy chemicals, and my face quickly becomes red and swollen.
My mom was scared and my dad was busy consoling her, and they forgot to cry at me.
It wasn’t until my grandma came back that she cleaned my face and took me to the hospital.
The next day, my parents left.
Yeah, they’re gone. They’re gone.
I didn’t go to the hospital to look at me, I didn’t ask how I was, I didn’t even call.
Just left a note at home saying they didn’t take good care of me, that they felt guilty and wanted to go out.
If there’s guilt, shouldn’t a conscious response be compensation? They feel guilty about me and go out and make up for themselves?
Not bad for them.
My grandmother almost fainted.
As to why I listened to Grandma’s neighbours when I grew up, because the only person who cared about me and loved me died in a car accident when I was three.
4
I haven’t seen Grandpa and Grandpa. They died early. The only one I’ve ever seen is Grandma, but she’s only been with me for three years.
I didn’t understand what death meant when I was young. I only know that I can’t see my grandma every day. I’m sad and I cry every day.
Mom can’t paint in peace. She’s upset and painful, and I cry.
I sat on the floor with my legs on my back and cried.
My mother sat on the floor with her knees on her knees, shaking her shoulder and crying.
My dad was heartbroken, hugged my mom for a long time.
“Let’s find an aunt, she’s a professional. I’m sorry.
“Hmm. My mom’s still choked, “Looking from the regulars.” I’m sorry.
The aunts they brought to take care of the kids were experienced, and soon I was taken care of and cried.
I was given an admission procedure for the kindergarten in the district, and they handed over the delivery to my aunt on Sunday and left the country.
Auntie knew that their work required frequent travel, but did not expect such a long trip.
That aunt worked in our house for more than two years, not five times.
Then one time, my parents left for more than six months.
At that time, the aunt’s daughter-in-law was pregnant and she was resigning to look after her daughter-in-law.
But she couldn’t get in touch with my parents, they didn’t know which country they went to, and the phone was never connected.
The aunt was late, her daughter-in-law was pregnant, and called her every day.
One day after school, Mr. Zhou held my hand in front of the kindergarten until dark and no one came to pick me up.
Teacher Zhou called Auntie and nobody answered.
Kindergarten is in the neighborhood, and Teacher Zhou knows where my house is and dragged me to the door.
Knocked the door for half a day and nobody answered.
I turned my head and said to Teacher Zhou, “I have the key in my pocket. I’m sorry.
Mr. Zhou flipped the key out of my pocket and asked me, “Why do you have it? I’m sorry.
“Aunt put me in my pocket. I said, “Aunt also took a big bag and said she was going home. I’m sorry.
Mr. Zhou’s face changed and he opened the door to go in.
5
Mr. Zhou’s house was in the same neighborhood as my home, and she took me to her home.
“Mom, where’s the kid? Zhou had a little boy a little older than me, and he saw me in front of the enemy and quickly put away the little toy car on the ground.
“Yong, that’s not right. Mom didn’t teach you to remember sharing. Zhou’s teacher sits in front of the little boy to be patient.
The boy hesitated for a while, opened the toy cabinet, put his mouth on it and handed over the car to me, unsurely saying, “Take it easy. I’m sorry.
“Thank you, brother.” I’m sorry.
“It’s cute.” I’m sorry.
We were sitting on the floor playing toys, and two adults were talking.
“What’s going on? I’m sorry.
Mr. Zhou explained it like that.
“Do you have any parents like this?” Throwing the baby to the nanny for six months? We can’t even get in touch now. It’s too much! I’m sorry.
Shh! Keep your voice down! Zhou pointed to me.
I played with Young-yang for a long time.
“Mom, this sister is better than the sister of my uncle’s, she doesn’t fall on my car, she doesn’t tear up my drawing books, and I like this sister.” I’m sorry.
That’s it. I’ve been at Miss Chow’s house for a while.
Teacher Zhou taught me to sing every day while I was in the shower, told me stories at night when I was asleep, and made food for me.
I love Teacher Zhou so much I want to live with him forever.
But my parents came back and they picked me up.
I remember the day I left, his brother cried so loud, he grabbed me and cried out in his mouth, “Sister is our home!” You can’t take my sister! I’m sorry.
Six.
Then Mom and Dad found another aunt at home.
I don’t like that aunt. She always hurts my hair. She doesn’t brush her teeth.
Auntie found out that my parents went out for months or even for half a year and she didn’t even cook at home. I eat in kindergarten in the morning and at noon, and at night, she buys me some oil.
I’ve been eating oil bars for over a month, and I saw them throw up.
She changed it to buying buns.
When I eat buns and vomit, she changes.
Her land was also cleaned for a long time, and she was often spitted on the floor.
I’m in the house and she’s gonna yell at me so bad that I learned to hold it in kindergarten. It’s been a long time, and I can’t pull it out of the house anymore. It’s only when I get to school.
My parents called her in advance when they were coming home, and she cleaned the house as quickly as possible.
At night, Mom laughed on her cell phone, and I thought she was in a good mood, and I said, “Mom, I don’t want this aunt in our house. I’m sorry.
“Why?” Mom asked me.
“The aunt doesn’t talk about hygiene, she doesn’t brush her teeth, she doesn’t sweep the floor. I said:
“No way?” my dad said.
My parents called out the aunt and asked her what happened.
Aunt smiled and said, “JoJojo is a kid with a grudge. I didn’t let her watch animated pictures, she said she was going to kick me out. I’m sorry.
She rubbed her hand and said, “I think it’s better for a child to watch less TV, even if the child is crying.” I’m sorry.
My father nodded, “You’re right, kids can’t watch TV.” I’m sorry.
Aunt went back to her room, and my dad went down, and he said to me, “JoJoe, Dad’s going to criticize you. You’re wrong. I’m sorry.
I cried out: “Dad, I didn’t watch TV, my aunt was bad, she didn’t cook for me. I’m sorry.
Dad was angry: “JoJoe, you learned to lie when you were six years old. It’s bad boy behavior. I’m sorry.
“JoJoejo, apologize to Daddy.” I’m sorry.
“I’m not sorry, I’m not lying! I ran back to my room crying.
The next day, my parents wanted me to apologize to Auntie. I wouldn’t.
“It’s okay. Kids, when they grow up, they understand. I’m sorry.
Mom and Dad were disappointed that they packed and left.
As soon as they left, she pulled me to the corner of the wall.
How dare you complain! “I don’t believe your parents, I see who you’re talking to! I’m sorry.
Since then, she’s made me stand when she’s in a bad mood.
However, she was afraid to beat me up, after all, she’d see the hurt. At the most, it’s the ear to pull your hair or kick.
That’s it. I finished kindergarten.
My parents came back during the summer. Turns out, aunts in the community called my dad to remind them that I should be in primary school.
Obviously, if they didn’t get the call, they totally forgot.
The day Mom and Dad came home, I choked on my arm.
The long hair that had been picked up on the couch had been placed on their beds, and the clothes in the closet had been disordered.
My mom saw the bruises on my arm and asked me what happened.
I shrunk and shook my head.
“Joe Joe, tell Mom if someone’s bullying you? “My mother found me looking wrong and took it seriously.
I bit my lips: “Mom, auntie won’t let me. I’m sorry.
“JoJoejo’s not afraid, Mom’s protecting you. She encouraged me with her eyes.
“Mom, auntie sleeps in your bed with dad at night and she wears your pajamas. She strangled me and didn’t let me tell you. I cried and said,
My mom ran straight into the room, checked it out in the bed and in the closet, and my dad was nervously following in.
Soon there was my mother’s cry: “Get her out of here!” I’m sorry.
The aunt who just bought the food was fired as soon as she entered the house.
Listening to my mother’s allegations, she shouted and said she had not done it.
Why would my mom listen to me? She’s in the bedroom.
Later, the whole bed in the bedroom was changed by my mother, who threw all the clothes out of the closet.
7
Mom and Dad want to find another aunt. I told them not to. I can take care of myself.
I have a psychological shadow over Auntie.
My dad looked at me, and he thought about it, and he said, “Yeah, it’s elementary school. It’s a big kid. I’m sorry.
So, in the first grade, I started living alone.
Even though it was a little scary to sleep at night when I was at home alone.
I remember saying in animated pictures that bad people and demons are afraid of light. As soon as I turned on the light, it seemed like I wasn’t that scared, and I became used to it.
Seven years old, I cook, I study, I live.
I can do a lot of things by myself, except for parents’ meetings.
I’m the only one sitting there alone.
If my parents were not contacted, the teacher would be angry at me for failing to cooperate in her work, which she was blamed for.
I don’t like her or take language classes. All other studies are fully scoring, and only languages are often failing.
8
In the third year of primary school, we changed the new class director.
When she walked into the classroom, my eyes lit up.
“Sensei Chow!” I shouted.
Teacher Chow recognized me, too. She laughed.
I heard from Mr. Zhou that she was studying at home and had obtained a teacher’s certificate in primary school and had come to this school as a teacher.
The family also moved to the school’s family building.
No wonder I never saw Teacher Zhou in kindergarten when I was in class.
Mr. Chow, you’re amazing! “It must be getting better and better to teach kindergarten and now primary school.”
That day, I was in a particularly good mood and I couldn’t help but keep my mouth shut.
Teacher Zhou also teaches languages. I’m starting to like language classes. I’ve been actively raising my hand to answer questions in every language class, and I’ve had over 90 points in the exam.
There’s another parent meeting. I’m upset.
When my parents couldn’t come, Zhou didn’t say anything but touch my head.
9
One day after school, Miss Chow called me.
“Joe Joe, how about dinner at the teacher’s house tonight? I’m sorry.
When I grew up, I knew I couldn’t go to anyone’s house for dinner, but I liked Teacher Zhou so much, I couldn’t help but nod.
Where’s the kid?
As soon as I walked into the teacher’s house, the boy sitting on the couch asked.
He’s a kid. I remember he’s a year older than me.
“You don’t remember? When I was a kid, I cried out to keep my sister from coming home! Zhou smiles.
“Oh, you’re Jojo!” He’s surprised.
Finally remembering me, Young-yang happily dragged me to play Lego with him, and he patiently taught me how to spell ships.
“JoJojo is so smart! I’m sorry.
At dinner, Mr. Zhou took out a cake with strawberry on it.
“Happy birthday, Jojo! Zhou says.
“Is today my birthday? I don’t remember at all. I never had a birthday since I was a kid.
“Well, the teacher remembers your registration. It says your birthday is today. I’m sorry.
“Thank you, Miss Chow. “I opened my mouth.
Make a wish!
When I was nine years old, I had my first birthday and made a childish wish: I wanted to make Teacher Zhou my mother.
10
At first, one night in the middle of the night, my stomach was in pain.
I woke up and I was sweating.
Turn the sheet open, I see a lot of blood down there.
My first reaction was to scream, and in my head, all kinds of terrible diseases appeared, and I was shaking and wondering if I was going to die.
Suddenly, a thought flashed, and I calmed down, and the content of the physiology class and the occasional whispering of the topics discussed by girls in the class came up, and I understood what was going on.
I ran into Mom’s room and I turned over the box and I couldn’t find a sanitary towel.
At 2:00 a.m., I opened the door and went to the convenience store in the neighborhood.
The first time I went out in the middle of the night, the dark night was like a big beast with a bloodbath in its mouth.
On the way back and forth, I ran all the way home, closed the door, and I felt safe and snorted at the door.
At that moment, I suddenly felt so lonely and helpless that I didn’t know if it was because I went out in the middle of the night or because of the stress of my first physiology. I wanted to have someone with me.
For the first time, I miss distant parents.
I sat on the floor of the gates, hugged my knee, picked up my phone and called my mother.
“Hey, Jojo?” My mom’s voice was dazed and asleep, “What’s up? I’m sorry.
“All right, just, Mom, I miss you. The first time I have expressed my feelings so bluntly.
“JoJoejo, Mom just fell asleep and you woke her up again. My dad took the phone over there, and he wasn’t very happy, “Don’t bother Mom. Can we talk tomorrow?” I’m sorry.
“Good dad. I’m hanging up.
I took a hot bath, wore a warm nightie, changed a bed of thick blankets, drilled into a bed, wrapped myself up tight, and felt less cold and lonely.
Eleven.
In the second year, one day I came home from school, and I saw a skinny little dog in the garden by the side of the road.
I pulled a ham sausage out of my bag and I stripped it to the dog.
Dogs eat like they haven’t eaten in a long time.
Seeing the dog finishes, I carry my bag.
But the dog followed me down the stairs.
“I’m going home. Bye! I waved at the dog.
The dog screams, tears are pouring in his eyes.
I couldn’t help it. I went back and picked up the dog.
When I got home, I bathed the dog and fed it.
I named the dog Coco because it’s so cute!
I’m not alone in this family anymore. I’m a new member, Coco.
Coco’s a special sticker. As long as I’m home, it’ll follow me anywhere.
Every morning when he went out to school, he was lying at the door. At night, as soon as the door was opened, it was waiting for me at the door.
Coco’s also very smart, and I told him to go to the bathroom, and he learned it once. If I don’t let it catch the couch, it never does.
I thought I’d be friends with Coco my whole life.
12
My parents are home soon after New Year.
As soon as they entered the door, Coco began to scream and seemed frightened.
However, my mom was more scared.
“Ah! Where’s the dog?”
My mom just jumped on my dad.
My dad took my mom to the room, closed the door, and came to me with anger.
“Joe Joe, how come there’s a dog at home? Don’t you know Mom’s scared of dogs? I’m sorry.
“I don’t know. “I’m innocent, nobody told me.
“This dog can’t stay home. “Tomorrow, my father will send it away!” I’m sorry.
I held on to the cocoa and cried, “Dad, do not send it away.” I’ll lock it in my room and I won’t let it scare Mom, okay, Dad? I’m sorry.
“Don’t let it come out.” I’m sorry.
“Well, thank you, Dad! I’m sorry.
And in the room I said with the cocoa: Be good these days, and go not out. I’m sorry.
Coco seems to understand me, whispering twice.
Mom and Dad are going to stay home for the rest of the year, and this time it’ll take longer.
Every morning, before my parents got up, I took Coco downstairs for a walk and took it home.
One day, Mom and Dad’s friends came to visit with the kids and asked me to take the little girl to the room to play.
The little girl saw Coco like it and held it for half a day.
After a while, the little girl had to go to the bathroom and she opened the door and took Coco with her.
Wait! I got scared and ran out, but it was late.
My mother saw Coco look pale again, and her glass fell on the floor.
That’s a bad look for the guests.
This time, my dad got even more angry, and he looked like shit, and he said to me, “Give me the dog, I’ll send it out now! I’m sorry.
I shook my head and held my hand with Coco, “No, I didn’t put it out! Your guests carried it!” Dad, you can’t be unreasonable! I’m sorry.
“JoJoe Joe, you’re so ignorant! Look what scared Mom! My father was holding my mother in a tremor.
“Mom, I’m sorry. I’ll never release cocoa again. You tell Dad not to send Coco away, okay? I cried to my mother and said,
But my mom didn’t say a word. She was lying in my dad’s arms and sobbing.
And We cried out for ourselves: “Coco is my only friend, and it’s the only one that comes with me every day.” Mom and Dad, you’ve only been home for a few days a year and you’re forcing my only friend away. You can’t be so selfish! I’m sorry.
Jojo! Who taught you to talk to Mom and Dad like that? Dad’s harsh, “Just be polite to you. This dog has to be sent away, keep your memory long, learn to treat people politely! I’m sorry.
I cried out loud and ran out of the house with Coco.
13
In the cold winter, I walked without a destination with cocoa.
The world is so big, there is no place for me and Coco.
I looked at Coco and cried again.
“JoJojo? “The sound of hesitation in the ears.
And raised my head in doubt, and in the blinding sight I saw the face of a handsome young man.
This face is familiar, but I remember I didn’t know such a handsome little brother!
“Don’t remember me?” My little brother pretends to be sad, “Oh, a little sad! I’m sorry.
“You are… your brother? I’m surprised I opened my eyes.
“It’s better now. “I’m sorry.
When I met a little friend I hadn’t seen for a long time, I forgot something sad and talked to him with joy.
It was cold on the street, and Yang took me to a milk and tea shop to buy me hot tea.
“Why are you crying?” He asked me.
I think of poor Coco again, and the tears fell off.
In my intermittent talk, he finally understood what was going on.
Young-yang’s brother reached out and touched the cocoa in my arms, which seemed to like him very much, and stomped.
“If you believe me, you can put cocoa in my house these days. He blinked at me, “When your parents leave, you pick it up.” I’m sorry.
I’ll tell you what, this is a great idea. I’m happy to give him Coco.
I went to his brother’s house to see cocoa when I was free.
Mr. Zhou was as gentle and kind as ever, and she brought me lots of snacks.
Coco’s doing well here, eating more dog food than before, and I found that it soon grew fat.
14
When my parents left, I picked up Coco.
Young-yang loves cocoa and comes to my house with all kinds of pet snacks.
I have good grades in all subjects, but math is a little bit worse.
Young-yang came to help me with math every night.
With his help, my grades rose very rapidly, with the high school entrance examination being the best in the city and the high school where his brother was.
15
Young Ying is a year older than me, and he’s got good grades, and he’s still helping me with math as soon as he gets to high school.
Under his patient guidance, it was as if I had opened up the second line of duty, and suddenly I understood the magic of mathematics, intoxicated in it, and learned well without him.
In the second year of high school, one day in gym class, I accidentally fell in a badminton game with my classmates and had severe pain in my ankle.
I was taken to the hospital by the teacher and examined after a broken ankle and the doctor said I needed an operation.
I’m in a lot of pain in the bed and I’m begging the doctor to give me a quick surgery. The doctor said he needed a parent’s signature, and I called my dad, and he asked me to give him the phone.
The doctor told me on the phone and returned my phone. That one, my dad said it was a little surgery. He asked my class teacher to sign it for me.
After the surgery, I need a week in hospital.
I couldn’t even go to the toilet alone, and I called my dad and said that the doctor had told me to have a bed.
“Dad, I can’t always get a nurse to help me go to the bathroom. People have work to do. And the doctor says I need nutrition. I can’t keep eating. I called him again.
If I could, I wouldn’t want to contact him, but it’s hard to be alone.
To avoid going to the bathroom, I couldn’t take a sip of water for a day. However, all kinds of hospital procedures, fees, etc. need to be handled, and I have been called upon several times by doctors.
My father was silent on that head, and he said to me, “JoJoJoe, you will soon be a grown-up, and soon you will be a grown-up, and father believes you can take care of yourself.” Your mother has just found a little inspiration, new paintings have begun, and it’s hard for us to leave in a short time. Art is not easy. You understand us, don’t you? I’m sorry.
“But Dad…”
“That’s it. I’ll transfer you some more money. You get a nurse to look after you. There was a rush to hang up the phone.
When the doctor once again urged me to do some paperwork, I picked up the phone, hesitated for a long time or pressed it.
“Yang-Ying” just opened my mouth and I choked, as if all the troubles were coming.
Soon, Ying came to the hospital with his face, along with Teacher Zhou.
Mr. Zhou was upset to see me in the hospital alone.
She held my hand and said, “JoJoe’s not afraid. I’m sorry.
The next few days in hospital were with me every day.
Young-yang will come to me as soon as he leaves school and lecture me on the lessons I did not understand that day. Seniors, he’s so familiar with the contents of all my textbooks that he’s taught me more than anything.
It is precisely because of his remedial work that I was hospitalized without any delay in learning and that I was able to go back to school to keep up with all my studies.
After leaving the hospital, Mr. Zhou insisted that I stay at her house for a month and cook me all kinds of nutrient soup every day, feeding me three pounds.
16
Young-yang went to the ideal university, and I cried when he was dropped off at the airport.
He photographed me in the head: “Why are you crying and not coming back? I’m sorry.
“It’s still a long time off. I whispered.
“Isn’t there any video? He pretended to threaten, “I’m going to ask you regularly about your grades, and there’s no gift after the year. You promised you’d take our school. I’m sorry.
“Hmm. I’m nodding tears.
17
I went to pick up the money one day in next semester and found that there were only 200 more.
I called my dad, I couldn’t get through, and so did my mom.
No reply was sent to them.
This card belongs to my dad, and every time he comes back, he’ll make some money in my alarm.
I’ve had enough money for a year, and he’s not only back once a year, so Kari’s money has been redundant.
When I took the money last month, I saw that there were more than 20,000 in it, enough for me to take a high school exam, even for the first year of college.
I was thinking, it’s okay if my parents didn’t come back for a year. I’ll save it for a part-time job in college. When I can feed myself, I’ll never spend their money again.
But what about Kari’s money?
My dad owns the card, and I don’t have the right to check the bills.
I didn’t turn 18 until June, and nobody wants me to be a minor.
Besides, the last few months of senior high school are too critical for me to work at this time.
In order to earn money that affects the achievement, it’s not worth it, but I can tell the difference.
I used to call my parents every day and put some of my mom’s old bags found at home on the Internet.
My mom doesn’t have much time at home, and I don’t have any bags at home.
Mom and Dad’s phone was never answered. My mom’s bag sold two in a month, and no one else asked questions.
In the next few months, I was able to survive with more than 2,000 dollars for the bag.
18
I’m finally here. I feel like I’m doing a good job.
I’m sure it’s just like I expected.
I’ll call Young and tell him my score. He says it’s all right to go to their school. Let me be bold.
I got a job at the milk and tea shop when I filled out my volunteer.
In fact, my heart was anxious because the milk and tea shop was paid 3500 a month, and I earned up to 7,000 for the summer.
That’s enough for the first year of college, and I’ll have to spend some living expenses for two months. The cost of living was also a problem.
I couldn’t help but go home and rewind and I couldn’t find the right thing to sell.
I looked at the couch in the living room, and I started to think about it, and I didn’t know if anyone wanted it, and I could sell it.
I’ll call Young-yang and give her a good news.
He took part in the school’s voluntary programme during the summer and did not return.
He suggested that I go to school early and say I could visit the school and go to other attractions.
I turned it down and said I had to work.
“You’re broke? He asked me in the video, “Did your parents leave you any money?” I’m sorry.
I just told him about the economic difficulties of the months.
He was angry: “Why didn’t you tell me, you idiot? I’m sorry.
“It’s okay, I’ve solved it myself. “I’m laughing.
He said I didn’t treat him like he was one of my own, that I didn’t talk to him about the difficulties, and that I had to hang up.
At night, he sent me a tweet saying that he had found me a part-time tutor, which was better than selling milk and tea.
I’d know he wouldn’t really be mad at me if I had a phone.
19
I’ve been a tutor for more than a month and I’ve earned a first year of tuition and a first two months of living.
Before I left, I sold my family’s ash-drive. It’s only a thousand, but more money is safer.
I went to school with my bags.
Young-yang picked me up at the station, and with him as an acquaintance, I didn’t go through all kinds of formalities and started a wonderful college life.
In the first week of school, with the help of Jan, I found a part-time job at the school printing shop.
The advantage of this job is that it can be adapted to my curriculum. I didn’t miss a class for part time.
A month after the start of school, I submitted an application for a change of name to the Public Security Bureau.
My name is Jiang Eijo, my father’s name is Jiang, and my mother’s name is Joe, because they have the right to name me and give me that name.
But I hate that name. I’ve hated it since I was a kid.
Now that I’m 18, I have the right to change my name.
Although it is very difficult to change a name after going to college and to run around several offices and even from home, I am not in trouble, going back and forth, just trying to change this name that I don’t like very much.
My own name, of course.
The new name is Jiang Ming.
New places, new beginnings, I want to forget the past and start over.
20
He heard that I had changed my name and smiled and said, “It’s nice to hear it.” I’m sorry.
I looked at him and said, “Do you not ask why? I’m sorry.
He said, ‘I know only that you were happy after changing your name.’ I’m sorry.
Although he was used to Jojo, he was forced to change it slowly.
Now he calls me Memories.
21
During the second month of school, I was told that candles had been lit under the dormitory.
Listen, the boys down there shouted my name, and the others started saying “yes,” and I was embarrassed to get my toes through the floor.
I’m thinking of how to refuse to make him decent.
And there came the sound of the loudspeaker from downstairs: “Small, don’t promise him that I like you and be my girlfriend.” I’m sorry.
The sound coming out of the horn is going to change, but I can still tell who it is.
I ran up to the balcony and saw a loud horn on the lawn downstairs.
Some people came here to make statements and to watch the hot students come around for a while.
The man who lit the candles sounded louder, as if he had a larger voice.
I pushed the door, I wore slippers and the wind ran down the stairs.
Downstairs, the viewers seem to know I’m the client, and they give me a way out.
Everyone’s gonna be so excited to see who I choose.
Of course I didn’t hesitate to come to him and looked at him with my head upside down. I’m sorry.
He held me in an exciting circle.
Of course it’s me. I don’t know anyone else.
22
My parents just came home after the first year of school.
My dad called me and asked me why I wasn’t home.
We said, “I went to college. I’m sorry.
My dad stopped and said, “You’re in college, you’ve got time! I’m sorry.
Later, I asked him about the bank card, not that I wanted to ask him for money, but that I feared that the money had been stolen and reminded him to check the bank.
He told me he used the money himself.
Before that he returned to another town, but did not return.
At that time, he used up the money from the bank that he had tied up, and he had a photo of the bank card in his phone album, and he tied it to the letter and used it.
He remembered that it was the daughter ‘ s living expenses and thought that in two days he would turn around from another Kari.
Then he forgot.
I forgot my senior daughter lost her living expenses, and I forgot she’s about to take a high test.
Even now, he did not recall asking me how I was living, where university tuition and living expenses came from.
Anyway, I can feed myself now and I won’t talk to him.
23
Four years in college, I haven’t been home once.
My parents probably didn’t find out either.
Ever since I didn’t ask them for money, they’ve forgotten about it. They haven’t given me a penny.
But I’m still happy with Jan.
We went to class together, took vacations and worked part-time.
Years of college, we’ve left many good memories.
24
Graduated from college, me and Young-yang stayed in the city to work.
Young-yang and his classmates opened a game studio during university and continued to operate after graduation, in good condition.
I took the teacher’s qualification and went to a high school where I was a math teacher.
We’ve picked up Coco, we’ve got a flat and happy life.
Mr. Zhou knew we were together every day.
We all feel that we should focus on the cause, wait two years for a stable cause and have a proper wedding.
25
One day, I went back to the office after school and saw the uncalled phone.
It’s strange that my dad hasn’t called in years.
I was curious, and I went back.
“O JoJo, have you graduated? Where are you now?” My dad said.
I don’t know. I haven’t heard that name in years.
“I graduated last year and stayed in the country. I answer.
“Why do you work so far away? There are plenty of opportunities at home. My dad says.
“It’s good here. I’m tired of going back. I’m sorry.
My dad probably doesn’t know what to say, but we don’t talk much.
“I gotta go, Dad. I gotta work. “I’m done with this boring phone call.
After a few days, my dad called again.
“JoJoJoe, I remember there was a treadmill. Why didn’t you see it? I’m sorry.
“Oh, the machine has been useless for too long. It’s broken. I’ll see if I can’t fix it. I’m sorry.
“Well, I’ll go get another one. Your mom said to work out at home. I’m sorry.
“You don’t have to break a treadmill for too long. You’ll only have a few days to buy one you can’t. I remind you.
“Oh, your mother and I are retired, and we don’t want to go anywhere anymore. He says:
“Hmm. I hung up. They can’t get out anyway. It’s not my problem.
26
After a while, my mom called me.
That’s even more unusual. She hardly called me.
“Joe Joe, are you home this weekend? I’m sorry.
I never thought it would come out of my mom’s mouth.
“Mom, weekends are too short to go back. I’m sorry.
“It’s fast on high iron. I’m sorry.
“It takes more than four hours to ride high iron, plus time to go to the high iron station, and I’ve been on the road for more than 10 hours. I’m sorry.
On the other hand, my dad took the phone call: “JoJoejo, your mom just wants you, and you can’t even satisfy her little wish? I’m sorry.
I suddenly wondered what they had to do to get me back.
So I bought high-level tickets.
When I got home, my mom was happy.
At the end of the meal, she showed me a video with her cell phone, in which a mother and daughter were dancing with the same clothes on their backs to the camera.
It’s the same thing. The story is: Guess which one is the mother and which one is the daughter.
“Isn’t it fun? My mother looked at me, “I’ve learned this dance, and you’ve learned it, and we’ll make a video like this, and there must be a lot of people who would like it. I’m sorry.
I’ve been thinking about that: Do you have a lot of question marks, little friend?
“So you asked me to come back this weekend just to make a video with you? I’m sorry.
My mom’s innocent.
That’s great. That’s my mom and dad. Never let me down.
That afternoon, while they were taking their lunch break, I bought high-weight tickets.
On the way back, I wanted to slap myself in the face: “I’m curious!” I call you curious!
My dad called, and I just hung up and then I turned it off.
Turning on the night, opening the tweet, I got a very long essay from my dad, one after the other, and it’s estimated to be 700 words.
It’s a center. It’s not polite for me to disrespect my mother.
Huh.
I didn’t say a word back.
27
My career and that of Young-yang went well, and we started thinking about getting married.
At the wedding home, his parents booked us a hotel, invited guests, took care of all the previous jobs.
Everything’s ready. I’m not gonna tell my parents until one week before we get married.
I suddenly heard I was getting married, and they were just stunned and didn’t even ask who the groom was.
I thought they were going to say they didn’t have time, and they said they’d come.
We’ll just have to change the process and let my parents show up and take a picture.
My parents didn’t show up on the wedding day.
Fortunately, after waiting for more than an hour without results, I took the option of a successful wedding.
When the guests are scattered, we all leave, they come late.
We missed our daughters’ wedding, and they didn’t have the slightest embarrassment, and if nothing else, we were on time.
When I asked them why they were late, my father said that my mother saw the unnamed wildflowers on the way here, and was excited to come up with a drawing board.
So, wild flowers on the side of the road are more important than the wedding of their own daughters.
My mom was so excited to show me the picture she was making, she asked me if I looked good and said it was just made.
The parents were staring.
They knew me when I was a kid. They knew that I was living alone in primary school, and they knew my parents were not good.
But the convulsions of imagination and reality are not at all hierarchical.
Watching my mom still zealously introduce her paintings, teacher Zhou hugged me and sobbing.
“Boy, it’s hard for you to live this big. I’m sorry.
I suck my nose: “It’s too hard!” I’m sorry.
28
On the night of the wedding, Yang tried to comfort me, thinking I was hurt by my parents.
Didn’t think he saw me laughing there.
“What are you laughing at?” he asked.
Actually, I was suddenly thinking about the childish wish I had when I was a kid.
I said to him, “The birthday wish came true when I was nine.” I’m sorry.
Well, next week the teacher is my mother.
From this moment on, I felt like I had a family.
29
I find that the number of times my parents have called me since they moved back home has clearly changed.
The content is almost the same.
My dad asked me where I was going on vacation, like, “Going to Thailand on summer vacation?” What’s fun abroad?”
But I’m going back — “It’s not fun abroad, so why did you spend the rest of your life retiring?”
Most of my mom’s comments on my mother-in-law’s circle, like, “Did you buy Miss Chow a massage chair?” JoJo, you never bought a gift for Mom.”
I’m even more rude — “Oh, because my mother-in-law gave me a red bag, bought me a dress on New Year’s Day and gave me a diamond necklace on my birthday last month. Mom, why didn’t you give me a present on my birthday? By the way, you don’t even know my birthday, do you? I’m sorry.
30
One day, my dad called and said my mom was in the hospital and let me go back.
I asked about the illness, my dad didn’t answer, just go back.
At the time, my mind had flashed terrible names.
I didn’t have any feelings for her, but I was worried and rushed back.
When I got to the hospital, I knew that my mom had a micro appendix and that it would take a few days to stay in the hospital.
It’s the weekend. I didn’t rush back.
My dad never comes into the kitchen, I cook for them at home and then I get to the hospital.
My father said to his aunt next door, “This is my daughter, living far away, flying back to see us. I’m sorry.
At noon on Sunday, I took the pigeon soup and told Mom and Dad I was leaving this afternoon and I had to work on Monday.
The spoon of my father’s soup is in place, and he says, “Do we have to go?” Could you take a few days off? The doctor says your mom can’t eat outside, and you know Dad can’t cook.”
“Dad, I’ve got a senior. It’s critical. You can’t just leave without something important. I interrupted him.
The air was quiet for a few seconds, and the sound of “pumping” and my dad threw the spoon and the china spoon was blooming on the floor.
He stood up and pointed at me, and he said, “Is that a free leave? Doesn’t it matter that your mother was hospitalized? Jojo, do you still have parents? Your mom’s out of hospital in three days. Auntie Wang from the next bed was hospitalized for six months, and her daughter came every day and stayed with her at night. How did you become a daughter? Do you know how embarrassed I am when people ask if our children are abroad? And your mother was allergic to seafood, you made shrimp porridge last night, and we couldn’t bear to blame you. I’m sorry.
In the next bed, the men looked into their heads and heard words such as “indecent” and “white.”
That’s good.
I stood up and laughed, “The seafood is allergies.” Look what you’ve done! I asked, how long have you been living with me? I don’t know what’s weird about her allergies. As parents, you know what I’m allergic to? You know what I like to eat? You said my mom’s out of the hospital in three days. Does she want me to stay with her? Asked me how I was a daughter, how did you become parents? You know the hospital needs company. Then I’ll call you when I’m 17 and I’ll be hospitalized. I was a minor! I’m sorry.
After that, I turned away.
When I came to the door of the ward, I stopped and said, “Yes, I’m afraid you don’t know. I changed my name when I was a freshman. I’m sick of it. I’m now called Jiang Ming! I’m sorry.
31
After that call, I’ve never heard of it before.
I haven’t had any contact with my parents since then.
I didn’t even tell them I was pregnant and had kids.
Probably from my mother-in-law’s friends again. My mom called me.
“Joe Joe, you have a baby? I’m sorry.
“Hmm. I’m sorry.
“Can I give you a video, see the baby? I’m sorry.
“No, I remember you guys didn’t like kids. I’m sorry.
Later, my dad transferred me a lot of money for the kid’s red bag, and I didn’t take it.
32
Another year, my birthday.
My mom sent me a birthday blessing and a long message.
“Joe Joe, happy birthday. Mom remembers your birthday now and every year. In the past few years, it was the parents who were wrong, we did not do enough to be parents, and we were not qualified parents. Although it is too late, we would like to apologize. All these years, being our daughter has worked hard for you. I’m sorry.
I see my mother-in-law sends every circle of friends about my son, and my parents are going to say a few words down there.
There was a picture of my son playing with Coco, and my mom left a message: Grandma was afraid of dogs, but if Nono liked it, she would have one, and he could play with it when he came back.
However, I never took Nono to see them once.
33
My parents seem to have finally discovered the importance of family.
They’re careful to make amends for me, but I don’t need them anymore.
Too late!
When I needed them most, they were never with me. What good is it to come back now?
Sometimes, they get a little too scared to even go on and try to talk me out of it. They’re too old for that.
But I don’t want to! I can’t let go!
The wounds that have been inflicted have not healed in this life. The wound in my heart reminds me all the time how it came to pass!
When I was in kindergarten, I was abused by my aunt, who died of stomach pain at home and was afraid to go to the toilet.
When I was seven years old, I forced myself to overcome the fear of being alone at home in the night, and I must now sleep every night with the light on.
In primary school, it is embarrassing that only my parents do not attend every parent meeting.
In junior high school, fear of helplessness came from the first physiology period.
In high school, a person’s solitude in hospital…
Yeah, that’s how I feel.
I remember very well every step of the journey from childhood to age, because pain is so real.
Growing up this way, I’ve gone too hard!
I don’t want to forget.
If that’s the case, I think it’s a betrayal of my own, desperate, countless times in the past!
I feel sorry for myself.
So, my parents, just let us live our lives!
(concluded full text)
Submitted by: Big Sister Momo: YX1108lxML1
I don’t know.
Keep your eyes on the road.
