The story of an ordinary time traveler.
01
This afternoon, Master Zhao walked on the yellow lawn on time, and I was conscious to pick up my cell phone to see the time: 2:30, one second. Turning over to the pole, which was filled with small ads, he raised his hand to greet him, and gently put his lunch box on the bench I was sitting on, and said, “Mr. Zhang, the food is still hot and fast. I’m sorry.
I said, “Mr. Zhao, are you done? Sit down. I’m sorry.
He said, “Final one, take a break. I’m sorry.
I opened a one-off chopstick and ate a chicken platter and he sat across the street and lit a yellow crane building. When the eggs came out of the bush, and ran wildly in the bush, and We called to it, two-year-old Chinese field dogs running in a running circle between me and Master Zhao.
Master Zhao coughed and said, “Well, Master Zhang, if you walk the dog at noon tomorrow, don’t go to the pool in the South Side. A little bad. I’m sorry.
I saw him, “What’s wrong?” I’m sorry.
He stretches out his hand and makes fun of his balls and says, “It’s not good. I’m sorry.
I laughed, “Does Master Zhao know how to read Fung Shui? I’m sorry.
And he shakes his head and points his cigarette butt at this depraved sociopathic neighborhood: “I don’t know that, so I’ll tell you tomorrow at noon not to go there, and you’ll be fine in the North.” Stay away from the pool. I’m sorry.
“What will happen?”
“Well, it’s nothing. I’m sorry.
He stopped talking and I couldn’t ask.
02
I was unemployed, living on savings, playing DOTA every day until 2:00 in the morning, and then I went to the next primary school to ring the noon bell. If it wasn’t for my balls to pee to the limit in the living room and howl, I could sleep until the news.
I’m a man of no strength, I’ve learned nothing, I’ve worked much longer, I can’t read, I can’t sell boxing, I can’t read, I can’t fight, I don’t want to die until I retire. Who knows that the company died before I died, and came back and became a social limbo with two-year-old dogs. It’s like the winter in Beijing, but I’m tired of thinking about other things before I run out of savings.
I walk in the neighborhood with my balls for two hours every day at noon, I play tribal wars with my headphones and walk slowly on the walkway, running around and disappearing. Most of the residents of this neighborhood are elderly people who ate lunch and took a nap with Gyeongbal Xi, and I’m not afraid to disturb anyone, and I’m happy to be alone.
It’s after 2:00 p.m. and I’m tired. I’ll order a takeout downstairs. It’s hard to remember their names and faces, but only Master Zhao. And he walked on the squeaky grass that day, and lifted up the fragrance of fish and covered his rice, and said: Master Zhang, your delivery has arrived while it is hot. I’m sorry.
I laughed because I hadn’t heard that name for years, and it was a respect in the city when I was a kid, because the workers earned a lot of money, and now everyone was Mr. and the boss, and the master seemed to have become the word for bike and keymaking.
Let me look at the name of the delivery software and say, “Thank you, Master Jo. I’m sorry.
At the age of 40 and 50, he looked like a Northman, had heavy eyebags and wrinkles, and was sad, and he didn’t smile. On several occasions, he was told that he had been home in Henan, had been in a flat with his daughter-in-law at the Lu Jiu Bridge, had no children, was addicted to tobacco, smoked soft-packed crane building, had begun to run out last July, had just begun to make no money, had now been raised to the Golden Knight, had made a dollar and a six, had been running fast enough to eat.
I’m a little out of touch, but I can talk to Master Zhao, and I’ve met him every day at noon, and I’m familiar with him, and I can’t help but feel that he has some strange traits. I usually sit on a bench next to the power room in the South Side for lunch. – No, it’s a lawn. It’s just a bunch of weed, garbage and shit. The delivery boy usually prefers to bypass the slab road next to him, while Zhao takes the shortcut from his first arrival, and his feet pass through the lawn slowly and without a stain on his grey leisure shoes.
I asked, “Are you not afraid to step on something dirty?” I’m sorry.
And he replied, “No fear, and see! I’m sorry.
I ordered lunch at the same time the next day at noon, watching Zhao, who walked into the district with a lunch box, with his eyes straight ahead, and stepped on every step of the lawn in a clean place, just like robots welding electronic components on circuit boards. He went to me and handed over the lunch box: “Mr. Zhang, get hungry and eat while it’s hot.” I’m sorry.
I said, “Have you come often to find a neighborhood without looking at the way?” I’m sorry.
He replied, “There is little, there is little.” I’m sorry.
The next day, I found more inexplicable things in him: His electric car was never broken, his leisure shoes were always clean, he was always wearing a rain cape early in the rain, and the food in the incubator was always hot, and I ordered dinner at the same time for three days in a row, and the timing of his delivery was exactly the same, with a difference of one second.
Even once, when we were smoking and talking, he suddenly took a step to the left, without warning, and a bubble of bird dung fell and splattered on the concrete floor. I was surprised to stand up, but Master Zhao was surprised: “What’s wrong, Master Zhang?” He did not realize how amazing it was.
An average middle-aged salesman with no special characteristics. A mystery.
If my curiosity was as strong as it was in my teens, I would have asked him a question, but now I’m not interested in living alone, and it’s too hard for me to look for the secrets of others.
After all, for me now, it’s just the people who send the food. For a long time, you get used to it.
03
Master Zhao told me “Don’t go to the pool in the South Sector,” which is a little strange, because we have five minutes of life each day, and we can’t be friends with each other, and we don’t know how to joke.
I left it behind and went home to play games and watch movies until the next morning I woke up in the sound of my balls.
It’s 11 o’clock. Lift up the curtains. It’s just a fog. I went to the toilet to wash my face and brush my teeth, grab my hair, put on my pyjamas and go downstairs with my balls.
The eggs were left by his former roommate, who left Beijing to develop in Guangzhou, leaving me a dog, a computer and a year’s rent, saying that the dog couldn’t get on the plane, that the computer was too heavy to carry, that the rent was for me to take care of the dog and the computer, and that he would come back there to pick up the eggs and the machine.
I said I wouldn’t let him be generous, unkind or heartless. Four months after he left, I was proudly unemployed and now live in his rented house, playing with his computer, walking his dog, sometimes thinking of living in the north for him who was far south.
The disadvantage of the balls is to drill out of the bush, which is hard to control, and the advantage is to stay away from me. I play the game slowly, and it always comes up and shows up. On that day, I travelled along the peso route from the north to the south, through the community centre and towards the lunch site.
After playing a game, I looked up and walked right around a small fountain in the South Zone, which never sprayed water in my memory, a pool of green algae in the summer, half a pond of dirty ice in the winter, but not a mosquito. The eggs are afraid of water, they are never near the water, and today they are chasing some kind of flying insect, and the evils are generally rushing towards the pool.
And then I remembered Zhao’s command and shouted, “Eggs! I’m sorry.
The eggs have leaped into the pool and have taken a few steps on the black and gray ice, looking back at me, and I have clearly seen a lace of cracks under its feet, and the cracks of ice cracking in my ears — although it is impossible to hear the sound of ice breaking in my place. I ran a few steps forward, and the eggs had disappeared into the pool, and the water was spinning around a swirling ice and foam.
“Fuck, fool!” I ran. Suddenly, a bamboo pole pierced the ice, and then picked it up, and the body of the egg appeared, and it strutted in the water, and swam to the shore with the help of a bamboo pole, and came forth and fell into the weed.
Zhao dropped the pole and I found him standing next to the pool in a raincoat.
“Old Zhao, how did you, how did you know…” I found myself stuttering.
Zhao passed over his body with his balls slamming his body with water.
“Don’t listen to me. “I know you don’t listen, and I have to come.” “Speak to me, pull an old blanket from the raincoat.
I took the blanket of a red-bottomed green flower, and my balls came screaming, and I put my head in my arms and shivering like a new chick.
“Damn! I scolded the dog with a blanket, “You dare to run, be honest, be honest.” I’m sorry.
Zhao set up a yellow crane building and put up a plastic bag in his hand: “Here’s some garlic veal for you. I’m sorry.
I looked up, “How do you know I wanted some garlic meat today at noon?” I’m sorry.
He said, “Well, we’re done for lunch today. Let’s talk. I’m sorry.
“I have wine at home. I said:
“I know, I brought peanut rice and soy beef. He says:
I decided that whatever Master Zhao said, it was no longer surprising.
He seems to know everything.
04
I went into my house, and my balls went into my dog’s house with hard cardboard, and I couldn’t answer it. I threw a couple of beef bars in there, left it alone, put together a table with Master Zhao, set up a dish, and find most of the bottles of cattle from the kitchen. The wine used to be co-leased with roommates for cooking, but it seemed still available.
We ate garlic, peanuts and beef and drank two drinks, and I pulled out of my book cabinet a long-received Cuban cigar. I’m sorry.
I tore it open, and it was really hot and smelled like rotten socks.
We ordered one from Master Zhao’s crane building, took a few drinks and added one. He finally decided to say, “Well, Master Zhang, I know you’re a man of truth, and I don’t like to talk nonsense, but listen to what I’m telling you, even if you have to go out and tell lies, nobody can believe it.” I’m sorry.
I’m not very good at drinking, I’m a little sad, I’m a little stunned to hear it, and I’m sober to hear it: “I believe whatever you say today. Do you know how to tell each other, or do you ask God to help you, or do you study constellations? I’m sorry.
And he laughed, and the wrinkles of his eyes fell down: “No, I will not.” I’m sorry.
“I don’t believe it. I’m sorry.
“Really, if I can see, I can tell, I can see, I can’t sell, summer is hot, winter is cold, it’s hard. I’m sorry.
“How do you know what’s going to happen in the future? I’m sorry.
Master Zhao raised his one-time cup and touched me with a glass of white wine: “I don’t know, but I’ve seen these things today. I’ve had two pots of wine with you, one-time cups, long drinks, a little light. I’m sorry.
“When did we drink? “I’m talking. It’s a little out of control.
He shakes his head: “No, for you. For me, more than once. I’m sorry.
“How do you say that?”
“My brain, unlike others. “When did he start to feel like he was a kid?” Since my daughter-in-law got sick. I’m sorry.
I said, “Superpower?”
Master Zhao said, “What is superpower, superpower? I’m the one who’s walking faster than I am, and I’m not moving, and I’m done with everything. You’re a pig. I’m sorry.
“What do you say?”
“I got married early, came out of my home early, took my daughter-in-law to Wuhan to work, I moved cement at the construction site, she worked at the work site, she cooks food, Wuhan, Changsha, Shanghai, Taiwon, Hokkai, Shenzhen, Shenzhen, Beijing, went to a lot of places, made two money, didn’t learn anything, worked as a minor. By the time we got to Beijing, we couldn’t keep up with one tenth of the current house price, and we planned to open a small restaurant, and she cooked and made noodles, and I was not tired of working, so I made money to buy a house. Think much better. The hotel didn’t open, she was sick, she started to say she had a backache, she had no strength and then one night wet the bed, and I laughed at her saying she was like a little doll, she said her legs were unconscious and she couldn’t move. That’s it. Once checked at the hospital, a tumour in the back bone can be cured, but the operation is at risk, and if it isn’t, it will take a lifetime. I’m sorry.
“A malignant tumor”?
“Well, not really, called neurofibromas. I couldn’t afford the money. I had the money to run the restaurant, and then I said I had a feeling and I enjoyed it. You can walk, you can work, you can earn money. The tumor was cut, it was fine, especially happy. We were working to save money, a few years later, and we had to go out in the fossil camp village and take a bus. In the morning, we were carrying something to take a bus, maybe something heavy, walking around saying she had a backache, and I thought I’d go to work, she took a break and she left. She called me this afternoon and told me that at the hospital, my brain was buzzing and I remembered nothing. Sitting there, crying and crying, I felt why I had to go first and why I couldn’t spend more time with my wife. I’m sorry.
“Ah, is it back?”
“No, the doctor said that she had a few more neurofibromas, which means that it is easier to have them in her body. If it’s not important, there’s nothing. If it’s not in a bad place, there’s a problem. It’s still a tumour in the bone marrow. It’s just like the last time. It’s going to be paralyzed. She said she was sick, she didn’t want to live, she died, and I knew she had a hard time talking and she wanted to live more than anyone. I want her alive more than anyone. I’m sorry.
“Did you have an operation this time?”
“You did, you sold iron, you borrowed money, you finished the operation. This time, the recovery is slower, but slowly and slowly enough to walk down, one day better than the other, and I’m saying that she can’t do heavy work, talk about things, bend over. After the operation, we moved to Toto, borrowed a little bit of money and opened a commissary to sell a drink of popsicle cigarettes, so she wasn’t tired. Make less money and pay back slowly. I’m sorry.
I can’t listen. I always feel that my life is hard enough to pretend I can’t see the suffering of others. Once these stories are heard, it is felt that it is too luxuriant to be able to live in peace.
I took a drink with him, drank a large sip of wine, and it was so hot.
“This is good. I said, “It’s a good day to pay back the borrowed money, and I’ve missed Beijing’s house. I can’t afford it now, I can’t afford it, I can’t afford it later. I’m sorry.
Master Zhao split the two pots in two cups, shakes the bottle and pours into his mouth a little bit of the wine left at the bottom of the bottle. Last year, for the third time, it was the same place where I had no money to do the surgery, and I was so sad to sit outside the hospital and smoked four boxes of cigarettes overnight. At dawn, I was sleeping in a flower pool, but I couldn’t sleep, and the hospital had to pay for it as soon as I got to work. I’m sorry.
“You’re talking about brains. “I had to interrupt his account, the more flat he said, the more painful I felt.
“Listen to me, it’s about brains. Master Zhao noded at his head: “I saw a car in a hospital at dawn, all good cars, all rich people, and I suddenly came up with an idea. When there was nothing left, I went to the road, looking for one of the biggest cars, and there I waited, and when they said it was expensive, I waited for the Mercedes. By the time a black Mercedes comes in, it’s a street light, and it’s going fast, I’m going out to the front of the car and I’m trying to break my leg and break my arm, and I’m going to pay for it. I’m sorry.
“It’s porcelain! I’m sorry.
“I didn’t know then, but it was the china. And then the car went too fast, ran me over, and I was black and I couldn’t see anything. When I opened my eyes, I saw a light shaking around with people. And then it was all black, and someone said, “That’s it. Can you find family? Find family. Then I suddenly knew that I was dead. I’m sorry.
I’m watching Master Zhao. Master Zhao is watching the glass. I couldn’t help but reach out and touch his back, hot.
“You are alive now. I said:
“Who says no. When I woke up, I was lying on the bouquet, and the sun was not too high, and one of the cars drove into the hospital, behind me was a hospital building, and the daughter-in-law was living in a room on the 7th floor, waiting for me to buy breakfast and wait for me to pay for my hospitalization. Nothing’s changed. I’m sorry.
I kept an eye on him until I was sure he wasn’t joking.
“Drink. I don’t know what to say. It’s good to have wine. It’s been so embarrassing between men since ancient times, I guess.
05
“So you’re not actually dead. I’m sorry.
“Not dead. I’m sorry.
“Then you had a dream. I’m sorry.
“It’s not a dream. I’m sorry.
We drank a glass of Chinese wine, ate all the soy beef, and I stood up and took out a bag of squid silk from the cupboard.
“There’s beer in the fridge. Mr. Zhao reminds me. I found four cans of beer at the bottom of the freezer, as he instructed, and I can’t even remember when they were put in — he was obviously more familiar with this room than I am.
After drinking the wine, he got hot and took off his yellow uniform jacket and thick sweaters while drinking cold beer, and went on saying, “What was the time? Oh, I thought I had a dream. They bought soy sauce bars early in the morning, went upstairs to see their daughter-in-law, yelled at her when she met her daughter-in-law, said she was late and starved. I served her at the end of the meal and went to the doctor to ask her about the hospital expenses. The doctor said that if the bills were running, they would have to be saved if there was no money, the sooner the surgery was done, the two months were still going on, and it was dangerous. I thought about it before, and I thought I’d have to do it anyway. Turning through the phone book, calling one by one, asking anyone to lend us money, not to answer the phone, and finally, I called my father, who said he saved $5,000 to set up a heating board for the pigyard, and that I needed it first, and that my uncle had recently made money in business, so I went home to borrow money from my uncle. I told my daughter-in-law to buy a ticket home. I’m sorry.
“Did you borrow money?”
“None. My uncle didn’t lend it, said it was liquidity. But he showed me a way to do business with him in Xinjiang, for two months, for $120,000, for a car fare, and I made a net profit. I’m sorry.
“Oh, it’s a quick business. I’m sorry.
“I went to the hospital in an emergency, called Beijing and drove with my uncle to Xinjiang. And then I went to see what kind of business you’d like to see. Getting in from Tower City to Urumqi. In Shanghai, Beijing, there’s no more powder. Xinjiang Gansu’s business is the best. Six runs in two months, 120,000. I’m sorry.
I’m sitting right in front of me, “Doing drugs? I’m sorry.
Master Zhao nod his head.
I coughed twice, and I said, “Drugs. I’m sorry.
Master Zhao is sure: “Well, drug trafficking. It doesn’t matter. It doesn’t scare. The city arrived over 600 kilometres from Urumqi in one night, but the anti-narcotics police, in fear of setting up a card, went by side and waited for days. On the first two occasions, I went to Changi for the third time and was blocked by the police at a gas station, and the gun was pointed at a black hole, when my head was blown out and my daughter-in-law was gone. I’m sorry.
Drug trafficking is a capital offence! I’m sorry.
“Absolutely. In the middle of the beating, the death penalty. I’m sorry.
“But you’re alive. I’m sorry.
Teacher Zhao replied, “Well, when he woke up, he was on the train to Beijing home, and was about to go to focal, 500 miles from home. I’m sorry.
“Wait a minute. I thought, “You fell asleep on your way home to borrow money from your uncle, and in your dream you went to Xinjiang with your uncle and got shot.” I’m sorry.
“I thought so. I’m sorry.
“And then?”
“And then I went back to my home town with cigarettes and wine to borrow money from my uncle, who said there was some money, all of which was liquid, and I couldn’t borrow it unless I went to Xinjiang with him for business, for two months, for $120,000. I’m sorry.
“…like your dream plot? I’m sorry.
“Same. I was in a cold sweat and turned around and ran away. Go back to my dad and tell him that you’ve got a hard-on kick in your ass. I said Dad was real. I remember what it was like to be in jail. I’m sorry.
“So it’s all real and possible, like your dream of being hit with china, right? When I hit the table, “That’s why you knew the balls would fall into the pool, and you knew I had Yinkyu beer in my fridge. I’m sorry.
Master Zhao spits out a smoke ring: “Well. I’m sorry.
“That’s right? “I was excited to stand up.
“Not right. I’m sorry.
“…to drink and drink. I’m sorry.
06
There are too many scientific inexplicable things in the world, such as always disappearing one-time lighters, never being worthy of the right socks, and the sound of a phone ringing when you lose your pants to a computer screen ready to entertain yourself. From childhood I believed in the existence of super-realities and that there was a grey area of unknowns, filled with all the confusion, fear and awe of humanity, both curious and afraid of being too close, sometimes rational and sometimes superstitious.
When I was a kid, Bigfoot, Area 51, Ghost Boat, Loch Ness, Ghost Photos, St. Janualius’ blood, Dutch gold mine, double fish, I was afraid to say I was a mystical, but I never dared to accept paranormal explanations.
In the face of Master Zhao today, an ordinary, uncharacterized city worker, I feel something coming out of his thin hair, wrinkles on his eyebrows, sweating on his neck and breathing with alcohol: a puzzle.
For the first time in months of unemployment, I feel that living is a funny thing.
Let’s go to the cup, finish the first beer. Master Zhao did not sell any more, he took a hotel bill out of his pocket, smoothed the creases, and drew a straight line with a pen on his back, “I thought I’d sort it out.” Master Zhang, let me tell you this. It’s easier to understand. I’m sorry.
Speaking, he added two strokes to the end of the line and turned it into an arrow.
Loading… “I pulled the lunch box aside and looked at his pentips.
“A man, like you. Life goes on and on from one point to another. You go from here to here. Zhao’s master has blundered the arrow with a pen.
I nod my head.
“What’s wrong with me?” My brain, walking faster than my body, means, in my head, walking this road ahead of me. He drew a parallel arrow, but made up of a dashed line: “It’s not really over, it’s over in my mind.” Of course, I thought it was true when I left, but it was fake. You get it?
I don’t know where it is. Owing to the problem of ability to express, Master Zhao’s words are neither precise nor logical, and I can barely understand them.
“For the first time, I was hit by a car, not far away. He drew a short dotted arrow: “The second time, he went to Xinjiang for a month, he went a long way. I’m sorry.
He drew a little bit of a dashing arrow: “It’s all inside his head.” I’m sorry.
Loading… “You didn’t actually crash, you didn’t sell drugs. I took a pen from him, drew two dotted arrows in different directions, using the starting point of the solid arrow, and gave three arrows the shape of a bird’s claw: “So, the starting point is the same, but what really happened is the middle path. I’m sorry.
The Master Zhao thought about it and said, “Yes and no, my body is on the middle road, my brain is on both sides. The path is divided, walking, and there is a path. I’m sorry.
He redraws a solid-lined arrow, extending it to the sides, but at a slightly different endpoint, it looks like a branch of a fork.
“So is the concept of parallel universes?” An important choice leads to the cosmology in which you live, and after the life of the parallel cosmos, the time line closes and returns to the time line of the mother cosmos. I murmur: “In this case, every road must have one end: death. In two previous lives, it was an irregular death. I’m sorry.
I drew a little “X” at the end of the dashed arrow.
“…and have you experienced many such deaths? Since then, how often do we enter the feeder path? I’m sorry.
“No, I don’t have to die to come back.” I told you, my brain is going faster than my body, and I can’t tell when, but sometimes it comes back. I’m sorry.
He drew a few false lines, some long and short, some of which represented the end of the one-way arrow, some of which were lines, to show that the journey was not over: “How many times do you have to ask me? I can’t remember, but I went on to say: I took $5,000 from my father, and asked my relatives to borrow some, and took 10,000 dollars back to Beijing, and paid for the check-up. Tell my daughter-in-law that she’s crying and saying she’s poor, that if she doesn’t do the surgery, she has to do it again. I took her out of the hospital, went home for two days and cried and said that she was going to the hospital, that I didn’t have a chance, that I had nothing to eat with all these years. I lost my hair all by myself. One day they went to work and heard from a painter named Huang that their home country had an old Chinese doctor who treated this easily repeated tumor, took Chinese medicine and pinned it, and that the rich people in Shanghai flew to look for him, had a flat house, and that all that was parked in front of the flat was BMW. I’d like to see this old Chinese doctor in Hubei. But when you think about a hospital like that on TV, you don’t get sick, you cheat and you’re afraid of being fooled. And finally, it’s a dream that’s going to come to an end. I took the train to Huangoka with a wheelchair. I’m sorry.
In the middle of the load I asked, “Do you want to understand the path of the feeder? I’m sorry.
He replied, “No, the more confused the more he thought, the less he dared. I’m sorry.
“I don’t know when I’m going down the road. I don’t know if it’s the road now. I’m sorry.
“Well, live fear. I couldn’t help but think about gambling. I’m sorry.
“If this is a feeder, and the result is bad, and eventually back to the main line, then you know how to choose the main line to avoid the bad. And I thought, and suddenly I stunned, “But if the result is bad, and you find yourself in the middle of something you can’t change, it’s all over.” I’m sorry.
I hit a big “X” with a pen on a solid arrow.
“No, it’s not. How do I get so much that when I get to Huangoka, the doctor only sees three patients a day, and we wait three days, waiting for the doctor to see the first pulse, saying that there is no need to be afraid of cure, one month to relieve the symptoms, three months to regain consciousness, six months to shrink the tumor, one year to walk. We’re happy to get the doctor on his knees. A room was rented nearby, where needles were applied every week, Chinese medicine was taken and the back was baked with an infrared physiotherapy machine. I found a place to work, and she looked at her house, sometimes cooking, and after six months, she said that although she was not able to walk, she felt numb to his toes and had a stomach ache, which meant that the disease was slow and worked. I was in a good mood the other day, and I didn’t say much. Then one day, the doctor said that he didn’t need a needle and went back to drink the medicine, and we went back to Beijing, and Huang sent it regularly. I’m sorry.
“It’s cured. It’s the main line! I can’t help but talk.
“Four months later, she suddenly lost her ability to lift her neck and speak beyond her bounds. To the hospital, the doctor said that the neurological fibromas in the spinal cord had deteriorated, that the cancer had changed, that it had passed the best time for treatment, and that it would have been delayed if it had been discovered early, had it been operated early. It’s strange to be a good person, skinny like a skull for a month, thinking we could spend a year together, and then we left. I can’t hear you. Doo-doo, scolded all afternoon and then stopped breathing. “I went out of the room, sat in the hall, called a cell phone to fight the landlord, and called for electricity.” When I lost my phone, I suddenly didn’t want to live. I’m sorry.
“I remember your daughter-in-law… who lived and opened a commissary at the Lugu Bridge or something. “I was silent for a while and I said,
Master Zhao had a beer. I’m not dead yet. It’s dark. Lucky it’s a fake. It’s the path of the brain. When you get back, guess where.”
“Oh, great. Do you want to go to Huanggang for treatment? I’m relieved.
“It’s gone to Huanggang, it’s starting to stick. He dropped the beer can.
“What, did you actually go to the old Chinese doctor? I’m sorry.
“Well, not long. I went back to Beijing, and she wouldn’t want to, and she yelled at me, and I took it, and I took a brick and smashed three windows of the doctor’s house. When I returned to Beijing, I took her to the hospital, found out she had not changed, and I asked the hospital to arrange an operation, and I took a car back home, went to my uncle’s yard in the middle of the night and stole $50,000 from him. He liked to hide the money in the air conditioners, and I heard him say it when the drug dealer was sentenced to death. I am not afraid that he will come to me, because soon he will go to Xinjiang to carry the powder and be arrested and sentenced to death by the police. I took the $50,000 and operated on my daughter-in-law. I’m sorry.
Speaking of which, Master Zhao’s face had a laughter, perhaps alcohol, and I suddenly felt happy and couldn’t help but laugh.
After a box of yellow cranes had been smoked, we began to smoke Cuban cigars that smelled like socks — actually, they were good.
“So what I was thinking was wrong, and what happened to the feeder path didn’t help you make the important decision on the main line, and when we get back to the main line, we’ll find it’s done. I think of a problem, and I paint it on paper with a pen: “That is to say, to try to make it right.” This is a bad time limit. I’m sorry.
Master Zhao said, “No, at first this was the case and then it was different. I’m sorry.
I’m interested in: “What’s next? I’m sorry.
“It’s not development, it’s development. He scratched his neck: “Let’s call it development.” When my head runs back to my body, isn’t it another time I’ll be…”
“Wait a minute. “Wait a minute. You walk the secondary route and come back, and the main line actually moves forward, and the point of your return is after the starting point. First, the feeder was short and not obvious; second, the feeder time was a month of drug trafficking and the main line was taken a few days; and third, how long and two weeks was the main line a year for treatment? I’m sorry.
I’m redrawing a picture that extends those radiation-like dotted lines, turns them back to the hard-line arrows, and turns them into one dotted ring, and now looks like a branch with leaves.
There’s a little distance between the beginning and the end point of the load of the dotted line, and I point my pen to this little cut-off line: “Cho, you’re in the middle of the road, so who’s playing Zhao himself in your body? I’m sorry.
Master Zhao stopped.
07
We were silent about half a beer, and Master Zhao said, “I don’t know. I’ll do what I can. I’m sorry.
And I squeezed the beer jar: “Then the question lies aside, and you go on.” I’m sorry.
“Hmm. The daughter-in-law was operated on because of the early start, the recovery and the six months of his stay, and the doctors said that the tumors that had been crushed by the bone marrow were gone and that they could walk down when the swelling went down and the rehabilitation training was done. But this time, the daughter-in-law is scared, she sits up and plays on TV, she plays on the phone, says her back hurts, her legs hurt, she doesn’t move, I have to talk more, she starts scolding me. I think it’s a blessing that the tumor doesn’t deteriorate. I went out to work, and it turned out to be a bad year for work, and I had an old man named Chen who was ready to do something for himself. We split up and opened a shop at the Tondai Song house, where he sold cars and batteries, and I fixed cars for spare parts in the first year, and slowly recovered in the second year. I’m sorry.
“Is this the main or the feeder? I’m sorry.
“You listen to me. By the end of the third year, I had a good business, I paid some foreign debts, and my wife was happy to say that I would earn money. One day, without knowing the wind, two electric vehicles were sold as soon as the door opened, one in the afternoon, another in the closing room and more than 3,000 a day for repair. The old Chen was so happy that he wouldn’t let me go, so he wanted to drink. We bought 50 bucks, closed the shop, drank a pint, drank two and a half bottles of wine from 8:00 p.m. to 2:00 p.m., couldn’t afford to sleep on the counter, and I fell asleep, wondering if my daughter-in-law wouldn’t mind, locking the shop door, afraid to ride, walking home, blowing a cold wind and vomiting. He went to his house to argue with his daughter-in-law, sleepd until 11 p.m. and got up and found his cell phone missing and probably left it in the shop. I thought old Chen was in the store, so I went over there at 1:00 after lunch and went around the corner and saw a bunch of people. I thought there was a car accident, and I saw it, a few front doors on the road burned to black carbon, and the ground was filled with black water ice, and people next to me said it was a fire at dawn, probably caused by a short electric heater, and the owner of the electric car shop burned to death in there without escaping. I’m sorry.
Judging from the tone of his account, I don’t think it really happened: “There’s always something bad going on, but it’s a long line, Master Zhao.” I’m sorry.
Master Zhao noded his head: “Yes, I kneeled and cried on the ground because I locked the gate from the outside and couldn’t get Chen out.” I hit my head on the concrete, and I thought I’d wake up and wake up. If I were to go back to drinking, I’d never open a second bottle of wine and never let him sleep in the store. I can’t even wake up with my head bleeding. I can’t wait to wake up. I’m sorry.
“You’re awake. I’m sorry.
“Well, suddenly I came back. I’m sorry.
“Returned to the night before drinking? I’m sorry.
“No, back when Chen and I were preparing to open. We’re looking for a shop, a source, a mechanic. I’m sorry.
I consciously said, “Yah, this time this time, it’s been two or three years in the feeder.” I’m sorry.
Master Zhao said: “It’s all fake, it’s not open, it’s not making money and Chen is not dead. I’m sorry.
“There’s a illusion, isn’t there? If it were me, I wouldn’t be able to accept this leap.
“I thought, “Do you still open a store? If you open a store, can you still make money? If I make money, will Chen still drink with me? If you drink, will Chen die? If I wanted to go, I was so scared that I couldn’t see Chen’s face and even speak to him. I thought about it all night, and I found Chan and said I quit. He was mad to beat me up, and I thought it was all for the sake of not killing you. He didn’t beat me up. Old Chen was a good man. I’m sorry.
“To avoid this possibility – Master Zhao, you’re right, this time using the information obtained from the feeder path to help make the main line, this is a successful choice! I am glad that you can go through the feeder, correct the error and make the main line smooth. Maybe that’s the best way to use your power. I’m sorry.
Master Zhao lamented: “Well, it’s not very powerful, it’s useless.” I’m sorry.
I drew a thin, thin line ring on the back of a solid line, with two end points of the line quite close.
“This time you spent three years on the feeder, the world on the main line is only a little bit moving forward, and the time lag between spiritual time and reality has increased dramatically. I’m sorry.
Loading… I’m sorry.
“It’s like I’m out walking a dog, walking along a fixed route, the balls running around, coming back to me every other time. At first, the farther it goes, the slower it comes back, and then the faster it goes, it probably takes a minute to piss on every wire in China, and I think it just drills a little bush. I’m sorry.
Master Zhao looked at the map for a while: “You’ll understand better if you say so. I’m sorry.
I threw a pen on the back of my chair: “It’s like time travel, Master Zhao. I thought I could only see such a person in novels and movies, and I didn’t expect to be sitting in front of me today. I’m sorry.
“If we can, we can. I don’t want that shit at all. He shakes his head.
“I think the biggest flaw in this ability is that you can’t see the point of entry to the feeder, in other words, whether you’re in the feeder or the main line. I thought, “When you have to make a big choice, the arrow is bound to split.” If you make a choice here. I’m sorry.
I divided the dotted line into two pieces, and extended one of them “and then made several choices.” I’m sorry.
I divided the dotted line several times, drawing one back to the main line, pointing to the branches that did not end: “You will find out at the end of the day that in fact these choices are useless, only a false choice in a false time, and do nothing to help the main line. I’m sorry.
Loading Master Zhao thought carefully and said, “Yes. But I also wondered if it was possible to start off as a fake and then go and become real. Like this. I’m sorry.
He took the pen and painted the fake line that I drew and then painted the line between the two ends. Now it looks like the solid arrow turned a strange turn in the middle, like a peak in the EKG.
Loading… I think it seems to be a logical question: “You’re saying that the feeder makes a series of choices that resonate with or replace the main line… That’s not right, so you don’t even know that you’ve been through a feeder, because you’re not going back to that powerful moment on the main line. I’m sorry.
“Well, it seems so. I’m sorry.
“What more do you have to go through?” I’m sorry.
“A lot. As far as I can remember, I worked in hairdressing, I went to the factory to run water lines, I was a tour guide, I had an excavator, I had a pig farm, I had a dog, I had a wager, I had a job abroad and I robbed a bank. I’m sorry.
If it were me, maybe I’d rob a bank and try — if I were to get into the feeder. However, it does not seem that Master Zhao, in his character, would do such harm unless forced to do so.
I asked.
“I can’t remember. Must have been a rush. It’s like taking postal savings. He did not seem ashamed: “I have done many bad things, but they are fake.” Bad guys don’t pay, Master Zhang, bad guys don’t pay. I’m sorry.
I watched him.
He hesitated, “This…”
“Don’t talk if you don’t want to. I’m sorry.
“Not that I don’t want to. I don’t remember. Walking the path, remembering it once and twice, one or 20 times, one or 200 times, can’t remember how many times, and then doing too many things, mixing up, messing up, I’m not thinking enough. I’m sorry.
I’m scared.
Each feeder goes through life in one minute, for a few days, for years, and I don’t know how the memories in Master Zhao’s head make up, but apparently those illusory days leave a mark and do not disappear because the feeder returns to zero. This middle-aged man who sits before me does not experience decades, as you and I do, but the sum of countless feeder times: Hundreds, thousands, tens of thousands.
He is an elder living in his own world.
08
I feel like I should have a drink to suppress my fear, but I can’t find another drink at home. We finish smoking cigars and you eat peanuts one by one until the last one is left on the bottom. Master Zhao used chopsticks to lighten the pressure, and peanuts split into two petals, and he caught a petal and looked at it with thought.
“What is the most clear life you remember? I asked.
“Let’s start with those that don’t remember. He gnawed peanuts with his front teeth: “I have done so many jobs, met so many people, so many people, so many people, so many people, so many days, so many other people help me, and so much money.” But whether I make money or not, my daughter-in-law will live a difficult life, the disease will not heal, the disease will recur in a few years, and I will send her to America when I have the most money, to find the best doctor, to use the most expensive medicine, to heal, to recover or to relapse. I don’t know how many times my daughter-in-law cried in front of me, said it was too bad, died, died, I knew she was afraid to die, but I couldn’t save her. I can’t save her. Whatever. Wherever you live. Whatever religion. One time I couldn’t see her suffer, divorced her, she died, and I dropped my contract and ran outside, took a train, went to Guangzhou, went out to the station, and the air was so hot, like that bed she used to lie in, and I was like a thunderbolt and I fell down and I couldn’t breathe. Then I woke up in the rental room in Beijing, and I held her in my arms, and I couldn’t let her go. She called me crazy, and she called me crazy. I’m sorry.
“Your life depends on her, right? I’m sorry.
“She said I’ve been in debt to her for my last life, and I’ve been a horse for my life. Master Zhao smiles bitterly and sweetly, and I have never seen anyone with that complex face.
“I remember the clearest time when I set foot in her life, we opened a commissary, I delivered a delivery, she looked at the house, had two operations, she was in a bad condition, I took her home, rented a house down the hill, I planted cabbage, raised a few ducks, she couldn’t sit up, leaned on the bed, I bought a tablet rack, and I let her fight the landlord online. I fed her a meal, I burned her, I cooled her, I scolded her, I squeezed her, I squeaked her, I squeaked her, I yelled at her, I yelled at her. I like to hear her yell. It’s a sign of strength. Then she didn’t go to the hospital, and died on the guacamole, and I burned the guacamole, and it was warm and warm, and the road was not cold. I’m sorry.
This is the second time that I have heard Master Zhao describe the scene of the death of his loved one, whose tone is bleak and hardly a bit sad.
“I gave the village a little gift, buried her in my grandparents’ grave, not far from where I lived, and went to sit on the grave and told her about the cabbage and ducks. I’m 73 years old, my legs are dead, I can’t walk, I can’t go to the grave, I don’t want to live. I thought it was my whole life, dead in my home, able to be with her, buried together. Master Zhao stopped for a while: “When I woke up, I was still in a rental house in Beijing, in the middle of the night, and she was asleep, and I climbed up and had a glass of water, and looked at the date, I couldn’t remember what I was doing. Those decades were so real, I thought it was real. I thought, from the grave, from the pickled ducks, from the prep of Beijing, from the surgery, from the commissary, from the day, from the lunch, from the day we talked about how we’d never have a child in our whole lives, and when we’d grown up, she said she wouldn’t be afraid to go back to her home and grow some ducks, give some gifts to the village chief, bury them in secret after death, and count them to earth. It was only then that I knew that, at that point, I began to walk the path and end my life with her. This whole life is one afternoon plus one night for her, and for me that long. I’m sorry.
“For decades, reality is only half a day. I’m suffocating.
Master Zhao put down chopsticks: “I am afraid. I’m sorry.
His fingers were shaking: “The days I can’t tell are real or fake, and if I walk on a small road, even if it’s a beautiful day, then there’s no more sight; if it’s true, the wine I drink now, the food I eat, and I tell you, it’s only this time, and it can’t be changed. On this month of the year, I can drink better wine, eat better food, talk to two beautiful women, or be with my daughter-in-law. I can’t change that. This day will soon be over and never come back. I’m sorry.
I looked out the window, and I didn’t realize the sun was tilting, and we talked all afternoon. For me, it’s only a few hours of worthless life, but from his point of view, it’s as if lead blocks of time were condensed, heavy, cold, hard.
I have to say something to break this sense of despair: “Cho Master Zhao.” You’ve come to the end a lot, haven’t you, the longest?
It took him some time to think, “Five thousand and fifty years old.” I’m sorry.
He said, ‘I said, ‘When I was supported by a noble man and made a great fortune, I froze her and myself after she had left, and told the doctors and scientists that I would not freeze until she had been cured and brought back to life. One, for 5,000 years. When I was frozen, I didn’t feel it. When I woke up, some people said that it had been 5,000 years, that the world was different, that I saw them, that they were human, that something was different. I asked my wife where she was, and they said that it was easy to cure her disease, but it was not easy to revive her. I asked them where she was, and they said that on a star, and I was on a star, a time when people were living on a star, because fewer and fewer scientists were studying, and everyone wanted to look at a star further away. Unfrozen me because my money was wasted and they met for 1,000 years to discuss my problems and finally decided to wake me up. I said I paid, when my wife lived, and I got up, or I’d sleep. They had a long discussion and agreed to let me remain frozen, because I asked them to meet for another 1,000 years. I fell asleep and didn’t wake up. I’m sorry.
Master Zhao came out with a new piece of paper, drawing an arrow, describing the journey with a thin, unmargined line.
“Five thousand years and how long has it been?” I tried a few times to make a sound.
“Four and a half days. He replied.
09
“Mr. Zhao, most of the things you say seem to have something to do with your daughter-in-law. I’m sorry.
“Yeah. I’m sorry.
“You know, you’re a time traveler. If the burden is dropped, it may be possible to go further, not only on the time scale but also on the spatial scale. I’m sorry.
“I don’t understand. I’m sorry.
“You can see the future. I’m sorry.
“That’s okay with me. I’m sorry.
“Don’t you want to see the world in 10,000 years? 50,000 years? 100,000 years?”
“What if I read it? I’m sorry.
I suddenly realized that I was not on the same channel as the plain-minded man before me throughout the conversation, that my curiosity, my fear and my piety were worthless to him, and that he simply wanted to share the feelings accumulated in these strange experiences and to tell his own story of time and time to those who were able to listen.
I respect his feelings for his loved ones and understand the choices he makes, but in the end he does not want to explore the rationale behind this phenomenon, and he does not want to use science to explain that the concept of family is the hard core on which he lives.
An ordinary time traveler who has not changed the power of the world, nor has he changed his will, and yet another great journey is worthless to himself and to the outside world.
But, in retrospect, if I could travel in my own time, would I really resist the stress of a long time? I never know what it’s like to have a full-life wheel.
The balls woke up and recovered from the frustration of falling into the pool, and came to me with a nice look. I opened a bag of good and fresh, and threw a couple of beef sticks into the dog’s nest, which was a mysterious surprise. Dogs are in fact a hard-to-understood animal, sometimes very forgetful and sometimes very reminiscent. Eggs get beat up by mistake and fall into a state of short depression, but they get back to their early sleep and get beat up the next day for the same reason. However, since a few years ago the neighbour next door accidentally stepped on his front leg, and every time he saw the neighbour, he took the initiative to play a disabled dog with his left forward foot and walked from his neighbour with a limp.
To some extent, people are equally hard to understand.
10
I turned on the living room light: “Mr. Zhao, are you on the feeder or the main line? I’m sorry.
“Don’t know. I’m sorry.
“So I’m a living person, or a role you imagine, you know? I’m sorry.
“Don’t know. I’m sorry.
“Did you check your brain? I mean, not just a CT, a shrink or something. I’m sorry.
“I’ve been, no use.”
“If I believed you, would you think I was crazy? I’m sorry.
“If I’m not crazy, you’re not. I’m sorry.
“Are you crazy?”
He looks at me like he’s trying to figure out what I’m talking about.
“You say no, you say no. I’m sorry.
It’s cold in the house. He’s wearing a sweater. And I looked at the empty bottle of wine on the table and said, “You said you had been drinking with me, that is, you saved your balls and came to my house and talked to me like this for an afternoon.” I’m sorry.
Master Zhao replied, “I went up to the Golden Knight and started feeding in this area, and I met you very soon and thought you were a man to talk to. Without telling you, there are so many words in my heart that I’d like to find someone to say that I can’t take them back and be treated as a psycho. If it’s true, it doesn’t matter. If it’s true, I lost my job and couldn’t save my daughter-in-law’s money to see her, it’s over. The first time I went to your house for a drink, I drank a two-pot with a one-off cup. I’m sorry.
“First time”?
“Hmm. I’m sorry.
“You’ve been drinking with me many times? “How many times? I’m sorry.
Many times. I’m sorry.
“Why me? I mean, you can talk to anyone about this. 20 million people in Beijing. Why me? I’m sorry.
Master Zhao tried to stop, he remained silent for a while and poured a glass of water into his lips: “Where do we start?” I’ve been having a bigger problem with my head lately, and more and more when I’m on a path. I said, “Recently,” that’s what happened since I was a knight. I can’t remember how many paths I’ve taken. Every time there’s a short and long road, most of it won’t end, like right now, I’m going back to the front, sitting across from you and everything that’s happened today. I’ve walked hundreds and thousands of paths, and I’ve only been in the real world for a few months, and I’m afraid that one day, no matter how many paths I take, the real me won’t move forward. I’ve lived my whole life, I’ve lived an extra day, I’ve lived an hour and a second, and my clock’s moving slowly, I’ve stopped; I’ve been stuck in the world for the second, I can only see the same thing every time I go back, I can’t even move my finger. I was sitting right in front of me, and I said, and I pulled her hand, and I took a little road, and it turned out to be fake, and my hands were fake, and I was really looking at my daughter-in-law in the real world, which was frozen, and I would never go any further. I’m sorry.
I imagine that condensed image, gripped by a huge sense of weakness.
“I’d also like to think, when I get back to the real world, what it’s going to look like. He waved his hand like he was touching an invisible button: “If it were a fake world now, would it be there when I returned?” Is this cup still here? Is Beijing still here? Are you? I’m sorry.
I looked down at the paper cup, and the thin wine at the bottom of the cup revealed the shape of a human being: “Are the characters in the feeder plot alive or some illusion?” I have to admit I’m alive from my own consciousness. I’m sorry.
I looked up to my head: “There was a contradiction in what you said earlier, and you said you could not judge whether you were on the main or the backline, but the fact that your Lord’s line was still a few months ago, far from the point where we were sitting, does not prove that we are now going through it? I’m sorry.
“What if it suddenly unfrozen?” “I, I can’t control this fucking brain, I have to take every day as if it were real, you know? I’m sorry.
I know how he feels. If the time-flow of life on the main line continues to slow, it means that he will never reach the end of real life and will only circulate in endless dreams — the darkest and deepest despair I can imagine.
He must convince himself to give himself the courage to live.
I’ve organized the language a little bit, and when he’s feeling back, “Mr. Zhao, I know you’re carrying pains that others can’t imagine, and if I had been the lead, you would have gone crazy. I admire you very much. I’m sorry.
He shakes his head, doesn’t talk.
“I’ve never doubted the existence in my 30-year life. Whether you show up or not, I’m an ordinary person living in the world, and even if you disappear now, I’ll find a reason to force myself to believe in supernatural power and continue to live as usual. I said, “It’s probably a feeder for you, and for me, the world can’t be more real, and it can’t just disappear like a television blackout. I’m sorry.
He picks a cigarette out of the ashtray and sniffs through his nose: “Well, I know. I also thought that maybe every path I’ve ever travelled has the same people living on the same planet, and when I return to the real world, the people of that world are still alive, and I am still alive in that world. I’m not thinking in my head, I’m jumping around in different worlds. I’m sorry.
“This is the parallel universe I’m talking about. I’m sorry.
“I have no culture, I don’t understand. Then you asked me why I picked you up once and again, and I talked to a lot of people. And he said: Hundreds, thousands, from those whom I know, to those whom I do not know, and I say over and over and over and over and again, “There are few who can hear the story, let alone believe me. They all think I’m insane, I’m out of my mind, and I should be taken to a mental institution.” On a few occasions, they and my wife actually sent me to the hospital for a check-up, and I was afraid that the doctor would give me a shot, electrocut me, put me in jail with a bunch of psychotics. No one believes me, no one.
I imagine time travelers looking for someone to talk to in every life. Very lonely.
“until I met you. “For the first time, someone listens to me and asks me to drink and help me analyze these things.” You said there were 20 million people in Beijing, and only 20 million of them would believe me. Just you. I’m sorry.
As if it were fate, I wonder if I should be moved or afraid: “Well, every time you talk to me, do you have the same content?” Is everything the same? I’m sorry.
“Not so much. I don’t remember. It’s different. I’m sorry.
“I believe you every time? I’m sorry.
“Well, almost. I’m sorry.
“Okay. “My life suddenly becomes important and it feels very complicated.
But the next moment, I suddenly had the ominous idea that I had been the most common role ever, born in a normal family, in a normal school, in a normal body weight, in a normal job, in an ordinary job, out of work, in a normal house with a normal dog.
I shouldn’t have become so important that all the forced promotions of life carry some kind of illegitimate demand, such as lottery-winning scams, such as marketing, such as cults. Someone suddenly appeared before me to declare me the person chosen, the unique existence of the world — the case of the hacker empire, which should not take place in real life.
If Master Zhao is a liar this seems to explain everything. He thinks I’m a stupid, rich, non-working obscurant, and he likes to read a little weird magazine, so he sneaks through my life’s habits, plays a whole bunch of unforgettable words, finds an opportunity to cheat my trust, and uses the story to arouse my curiosity, and looks at the last chance to throw out a request I can’t refuse.
As soon as the suspicion arises, it rolls like a snowball. He went into my house and didn’t find the money, but he figured out the location of the various items, because I usually walk dogs without locking the door. He set a bait in the pool, causing the eggs to do that kind of anomalous behaviour, and he waited for help. He’s a recidivist, a new kind of liar, who uses sci-fi stories to trick the little savings of the homeboy programmer.
I’ve got a cold sweat on my forehead and I’m watching him. Master Zhao smoked two smokes and burned his fingers, burning his fingers. It’s not much like a seasoned liar, but it’s not like a time traveler in a thousand worlds.
If he was a liar, he would have asked for it: credit card number, cell phone code, bedhead key. After all this talk, it’s time to get to the net.
I’m waiting with concern. And fear not that you will be deceived, but that the strange story will become a lie.
Eleven.
Master Zhao took a look at the sky outside the window and lamented: “Ah, it was another afternoon. But I still don’t understand anything. Have a nice day and drink. Thank you. I have to go back to work and get ready for dinner tonight. He said he stood up and slowly put on a yellow coat.
I said, “Don’t you sit a little longer?” Feels like there’s a lot to talk about. I’m sorry.
He said, “No, you have to go back and earn. I’m sorry.
He went to the door, I followed. And when he pushed the door, he stopped and said, “Yes, Master Zhang, I have something to ask of you.” I’m sorry.
Coming. I responded as calmly as I could: “What is it? Don’t mention it. I’m sorry.
“It’s not so good to talk…” he was a little embarrassed: “I said, don’t blame me for saying this. I’m sorry.
“You say. I’m sorry.
“I want you to do something for me. I’m sorry.
I’m looking at this black-skinned middle-aged man, who just got his face turned into a snotlout. I’m depressed about emotional answers.
He hesitated for a long time: “Mr. Zhang, I will die tonight.” I’m sorry.
The phrase “what?” was unexpected to me, and I thought he would cry about lack of money or pretend to answer the phone to say an accident, which was a common trick of liars.
“Tonight, at 8:40, I was hit by an Audi car in the red light on my way to the political district, flying 10 metres away, fell down on the ground and broke my neck. He said, “If an ambulance arrives, it dies.” I’m sorry.
But…
“Well, I went through it myself. The road at the intersection was bad, the cement was particularly rough, and I slipped out of the road very far and painfully. After becoming a knight, I’ve been through this scene countless times, and I’ve died many times and I can’t remember. It hurts every time. I’m sorry.
I looked at him for a moment and judged the truth of this conversation: “But you can avoid it, you can not be a salesman…”
“That time I didn’t choose to be a knight, with the help of a noble man, who made a fortune and lived to be five thousand and fifty years old. When I return to the real world, I can’t choose again. I’ve been trained to be a knight. His lips shivering a little, and it’s hard to detect without a close look. “I don’t know why, after that, no matter how I choose, life will get worse and worse. Is it true that God is tired of leaving me alone to feed his family and her daughter-in-law? I’m sorry.
“No orders tonight, okay? I’m sorry.
“Many times have I tried, or have I died, or have I been hit by a car, or have I been hurt. Master Zhao murmurs: “It is like a hand pushing you that way, and then you flee and struggle again, and you are pushed on that road.” I’m sorry.
I pulled out the phone and looked at the time: 7:45, less than an hour. At this moment I decided to believe what he said, because his eyes were filled with fear, the fear of despair.
“Why didn’t you say that at first? And I said, “You know you’re gonna die at 9:00 and you’re gonna talk to me and drink, and if you say so, maybe we can figure out a way to change the ending.”
He stares at me with red eyes: “Do you think I’m alive now, or do you take the road?” I’m sorry.
I step back: “I, I don’t know…”
“If I were really alive, I wouldn’t have died because nothing had happened; and if I was just delusional, what was the point? “I can’t do anything, I can’t do anything, Master Zhang. Do you understand? I’m sorry.
At this moment, my mind is full of chaos, with countless time and space arrows flying around, entwined into a confused mess.
“I don’t know. * And I avoided his glance *
He looked down and he breathed, “Well, that’s all you’re asked for. I’m sorry.
He suddenly grabbed my sleeve: “Only one thing.” From your balcony, you can see the intersection in front of the political district, and then, at 8:40, you look on the balcony and see if I will die. I’m sorry.
I looked at him with my mouth open.
“I have repeatedly thought of the possibility that, after all this: first, it’s a path, I’m dead, I’m back on the road, and everything else is gone, and you’re gone; secondly, it’s a path, I’m dead, you’re alive, you can see me lying there and being pulled away by an ambulance; thirdly, it’s a path, I’ve escaped, I’m not dead this time, I’ll die next time; fourthly, it’s a road, I’ve escaped and survived with my daughter-in-law; and fifthly, it’s a road, I’ve been hit by a car and the lights have been destroyed. And he said a quick thing, and he took a breath: “Sit there and look at me.” If there’s no accident at 8:40 and no accident tonight, I’ll come up tomorrow with good wine and meat, and we’ll drink it till it’s dark. If…
Don’t say that. I’m sorry.
“if I really die, I’d like you to come to my house. My daughter-in-law’s leg and foot are inconvenient, and you go around the back of the cashier and tell her I’m dead. She must have been in a hurry. Don’t be afraid. To be honest, she can afford it. She’s not the kind of woman who can’t open her eyes. I hid some money in an air conditioner, enough for years to eat, drink and wear, and those account holders didn’t know where we were living. It’s the fact that no one’s ever cooked her food, washed her feet, and that a woman’s home and I’ve never had any good with her. If you have time to visit her and talk to her, she’s got a temper. I’m sorry.
I can’t talk for a long time.
Master Zhao’s face was full of sorrow, but a smile came out of it: “How many times have you been entrusted with it? You have always said yes, but I never know the outcome, and no one knows what happened after death.” Thank you, Master Zhang.
Master Zhao, you will not die. Nothing is meant to be! “All we’re talking about is speculation, nobody knows what’s going to happen, and the probability is an independent event that won’t be affected by those dreams.” We have yet to clarify the secret of your thinking, which is too complex and full of paradoxes. How to judge the intersections of the feeder, how to choose, how to use the preview to find the best solution to life… I’ve been thinking a lot.
He smiled down and left his eyes wrinkled: “What are you afraid of? I’m sorry.
He said, “If I don’t die today and dream no more, I will live a day and a day.” I’m gonna have to give you a few extras tomorrow. I’m gonna make six, ten, sixteen, one hundred, one hundred, one hundred and six, and I’m gonna have to pay for the rent. I’m dying today. It’s life. I would’ve been crazy if my daughter-in-law hadn’t let go of her. Master Zhang, please do me a favor. I’m sorry.
The cold wind came in, I closed my eyes, the door closed and Master Zhao disappeared during the winter night of Beijing.
12
I drew a solid arrow in the dark. No branches, no crosses.
After tonight, I’ll play DOTA until 2:00 in the morning, sleep until noon tomorrow, walk down the stairs with my balls, order back a pot and eat on the bench.
I will continue this hopeless life until my savings are exhausted. By the time there’s only one ticket left on the account, I might return my classmates’ rented house, pack his computer, take his dog, go south to him, smell the gutter of Guangzhou and see if I can live a better life on my own. Maybe I’ll take out the ticket money for a big meal and buy a train ticket back home, after all, for a Chinese field dog like an egg, there’s a better place to live in a Chinese field.
Maybe Master Zhao is a mysterious time traveler, maybe a con man who plans a bigger, deeper scam, maybe just a lunatic.
If everything is fake now.
Even if I live to the end of time.
Even though there are 10,000 strategies.
Even the end is doomed to tragedy.
Master Zhao is right. I can only live my life one day.
I sat in the early winter, in a normal corner of Beijing, looking down at the red and green lights. It’s a busy roadway, cars, people. I don’t know which knight in the yellow coat is Master Zhao, and I can’t tell between the public and Audi.
I was waiting for a car accident that I was not sure was bound to happen, and it was the victims themselves who asked me to watch in every turn.
If you erase the arrow of time, the story will be very simple: the story of a man and a woman. Leave her with him and leave her with her, the story will come to an early end.
Do every lamp in Beijing, between men and women, have stories that are so short, so complex, so short and so long that the grass begins and never ends?
The clockwise points to 8:40, and the time will come.
The end–
□ Chang lan
I don’t know.
Keep your eyes on the road.
