Me and my diary.
Me and my diary.
Darkness and light: deep space, dream and science fiction outside of time
2120, March 21, Sunshine
As of today, I have decided to write a diary, perhaps afraid of death, and I would like to record the few days I have left to ease my anxiety at this moment.
Yes, I’m dying.
According to the doctor, in the worst case scenario, I could only live for six months, even if the operation was carried out, for as many months as possible, and the cost of the operation was an astronomical number for an ordinary family like me.
Instead of paying for medical treatment, leave some money to my wife and children. I am sick alone and cannot drag them into the abyss.
I sat on the steps of the hospital for hours and smoked a whole pack of cigarettes and finally decided to go home like nothing happened.
The wife asked me about the medical results, and I told her that I had a headache caused by a little high blood sugar.
The wife seemed relieved, but she told me not to smoke.
The son of a primary school also learned his mother’s voice and asked me to eat more vegetables.
I’m smiling at two people out of the dark.
I wish this life would last forever.
Sunday, 25 March 2120
I want to make as much money as possible for my wife and children, but it seems to be a bit unbearable.
My head has become more painful in the past few days, and my nose has been bleeding from time to time, although my son has seen it, it is better that my wife has not found it.
I told my son about the nosebleed between me and him. Don’t tell Mom.
The son nodded in a serious place.
March 26, 2120.
I went to the hospital today to prescribe some drugs, but I don’t think they work.
When I left the hospital, I met a salesman who handed me a card, which appeared to be a medical technology company.
He said that they now had a medical project requiring clinical trials and volunteers.
There’ll be a huge reward for the experiment, and there’s a good chance that my brain tumor will be cured.
I knew it was a liar, but I took his card.
I can’t believe I’ve chosen to believe it.
On April 1, 2120, rain
I told my wife I was going on a trip, and then I decided to try the medical technology company.
After all, participation in the experiment is paid a large sum of money, and even if it does not heal my illness, it will at least improve the future life of the wife and son.
According to the address on the card, I came to the medical technology company.
The officer-in-charge heard that I had come to participate in the clinical trial of the medical project, and so enthusiastically arranged the resting room for me and then brought me a couple of thick contracts.
I asked him again and again how much he could pay, and he said there were more than 10 million.
Ten million! I heard it was not real, I didn’t even have a concept, but I couldn’t make so much money in my life, so I probably went over the contract, mostly with a promise of confidentiality, and I didn’t even want to sign my name.
I wish I had the best result.
April 2nd, 2120.
Today they let me lie in a white room, and then they took a few pipes of blood, and the first day of treatment ended.
It would be great if you could just take a few pipes and get 10 million.
Rain, 5 April 2120
Since I took blood, I have been here for days without knowing when the next treatment will begin.
However, as long as I live in the company, they will not be able to cover up.
In addition, a video telephone call was made today with the wife and son, but at the request of the official, I was able to make only a video call using equipment inside the company.
After all these days without seeing my wife and son, I almost couldn’t bear the tears, but I did so to keep them from knowing my true state.
April 7, 2120, Sunshine
The person in charge came to me today and said that the test equipment was ready and that the treatment would finally begin tomorrow.
He told me not to be too nervous, but to give me a full anesthesia in the course of the treatment, and when I woke up, the pain was gone.
Of course I don’t believe his words, which sound like a comfort to me, which I have heard many times in the hospital, and I’m tired of hearing.
I’m just concerned about when that 10 million dollars will be remitted to me.
He said he’d call my bank account after I woke up.
I was relieved to hear his unequivocal commitment.
It’s up to you.
I’d like to tell my wife and son again that I love you.
Sunday, 8 April 2120
When I woke up, I felt like I had a freshman’s body, and I was completely cured, and the tumor in my head was gone, and even my blood sugar and blood pressure recovered.
It’s just like magic, and the company did it.
And, as they say, when I woke up, my phone got a text message reminding me that I had more than 10 million more in my account.
God, I can’t believe it’s all true, like a dream.
I’m back home now, and I’ve just turned around with my wife and son.
But I can’t tell them the truth. I can only tell them that I’ve been successful on this business trip, and that the signed business has earned a lot of dividends.
For the first time I felt what life was and what life was.
April 12th, 2120.
Today I quit my job and bought a villa and a car and paid off my debts once and for all, leaving a lot of money, and I’m going to do business and experience a new life.
Sunday, 3 May 2120
After doing business, there was some busy work, so it was a long time before the diary was written.
Today’s wife said that she felt that she had been watched on her recently out of the house, but that every time she turned back, she felt a little confused.
I comforted her a little bit, so she wouldn’t think.
I thought maybe because my son now goes to a famous boarding school, no one in the family usually scares her.
So I booked her a couple of tickets to travel with some of her good sisters and relax.
She said yes, though she did.
I’ll have more chance to meet with the secretary, Li.
Heavy rains, May 6, 2120
The wife went on a trip, and then I went straight to her home.
Without my wife’s bond, me and Xiao Li have completely released each other’s feelings at home, which makes me feel good, and although I feel sorry for my wife, I think it’s a man’s fault.
Heavy rain, 7 May 2120
The rain has been so heavy recently that I could have stayed at home comfortably with Lisa, but I don’t know which god knows how to throw stones at my bedroom window.
Fortunately, the bed was far from the window and the glass was broken without hurting me and Xiao Li.
I went to the window and looked out, but no one saw it because of the storm.
I’m so mad. I’m gonna have to get somebody to fix the window tomorrow.
The mood is getting worse.
Sunday, 9 May 2120
After a few days of heavy rain, it was a rare day of sunshine, and I took Leigh on a field trip.
The beach feels so good, I can’t help but admire the uncertainty of life. Last month I was a dying man and now I’m living on the beach with Lee.
This is life!
We didn’t come home until late. It was so easy.
Maybe it’s been a long day, and I’m stuck, and I’m already fighting.
But I’m not feeling well, and I think someone’s looking at me at home, but I’m the only one at home, and I’m the only one who must be too tired and dizzy.
I can’t. I have to sleep.
May 10th, 2120.
Leigh disappeared, and I woke up and I wasn’t at my bed, and I looked for her in the house for a long time.
It’s not like you’re playing hide-and-seek with me.
I don’t take this seriously.
May 11, 2120, Sunshine
One day, Lee still hasn’t come back.
Has she gone?
Even though she was a little girl, it was so cruel to leave without a word, the most important being that she had not even taken her luggage.
That’s weird.
Forget it, the wife will be back in two days, and Xiao Li will leave early and clean up tomorrow.
The wife is sensitive and I don’t want her to come back and find other women’s hair.
By the way, I remember when I covered up my wife’s picture.
That’s weird. That’s weird.
El Niño, May 12, 2120
I was so pissed off today that the cleaner didn’t know anything, and he stinked. He was half asleep, so I kicked him out.
If it wasn’t for the wife the day after tomorrow, I’d definitely have to find this cleaning company.
It’s raining out of the window all day and thundering from time to time.
This kind of weather makes me feel a little insecure, and I think I’ve been looking at people in my house lately, but I’ve locked all the doors and windows for safety.
But the rain and thunder still kept me from sleeping, and I was unsure, so I decided to move to a relatively quiet guest room, which should be able to sleep well.
On May 13, 2120, there was a storm.
The damn cleaner tried to kill me last night, so I moved to the guest room to sleep, or I would have died.
It’s just a scolding, and the cleaner always hated me and tried to kill me.
Good thing I snuck him in the back with a baseball bat, but he ran away.
So I called the police, and the police came and feared that the cleaner would come back, and they sent police officers around my house to protect me.
Now I can finally put…
I don’t know.
I don’t know.
I’m back, real me.
Fucking clones!
Sunday, 14 May 2120
Finally over.
I endured the pain and suffering of this time only to be able to return to my home in good faith.
Yes, my brain tumor is still there, and the so-called medical technology company has made me their test.
From the moment I was anesthetized, they were going to kill me and let that clone that transmitted all my consciousness and memory live in my world, which they called “therapy.”
Of course, that clone was unaware of the matter, and he would only feel that the company had cured him and had taken a large sum of money to him.
But good thing this farce is over.
When I woke up, I was lying in a pile of dead people, with no injuries other than two needle holes in the temple, even the clothes that I wore when I was anesthesia.
In the wilderness, a large number of corpses smell of indescribable rot.
I went out like crazy and left the pit, but without a few steps, the pit behind me started to burn.
If I wake up a few minutes late, I’ll be burned like those bodies.
I finally found a road, but I’m dreary and nobody wants to give me a ride.
I couldn’t stop my nose bleeding because I was sick, so I couldn’t stop looking scared, so I walked home on foot.
After hours of walking, I finally came home.
And when I was about to enter the house, I found that there was no one at home, even the furniture.
When the neighbours saw me, they looked at me and looked at me, but they kept me company.
When I asked them where my wife and children went, they asked me, in turn, if I was excited when I became a family.
I listened to the neighbours, and I had to look at myself again and go to the company.
Once in the company, he was called by the boss, who said that although I had resigned, the company would always welcome me and asked me if I was interested in making an investment.
I ended up running away from the company, and they all said I was crazy, and I felt like the whole world was crazy except me.
In the end, I found out about the whereabouts of my wife and children in the strange eyes of an acquaintance who said that after I had received a large sum of money, I took my wife and children to the villa.
I still thought they were crazy. How could there be someone like me in this world?
But when I came to the door of the villa, I saw him from the window of the house, the man who looked exactly like me.
He behaved just like me, even in a way that I carved.
I dare not do anything to hurt my wife and son in case he finds me there.
So I can only observe in secret.
Until one day, I was caught, tech company man.
They found me running away from a pile of dead people, and they stayed here.
They seem to know that I am going to die, and they have done nothing to me but talk to me face to face.
I knew the purpose of the experiment from the conversation.
The medical technology company had pioneered a technology for the transfer of consciousness to clones, and there was controversy about the ethical and moral nature of the experiment, so that they could not get the test, so that many people like me, suffering from terminal, chronic or incurable mental illness, would be targeted.
Once the transfer of consciousness had been completed, the body would be disposed of and the ethical problems of human cloning would cease to exist, since there could only be one.
Upon completion of the experiment, the company would offer its reward as a reward for its dedicated scientific research and then begin to monitor the life of the clones in order to collect data to improve awareness transmission techniques.
When I heard it, I was angry and said that they were cheating and anti-human.
But they said it was all in the contract, but I didn’t look at it.
I looked at my own signature and said nothing for a moment.
Then they asked me to take a good look at the house.
Through my telescope, I watched my clones and my wife’s and children’s happy lives, and there was an emotional — envious — in my heart.
How long has it been since I let my wife laugh like that? How long has it been since I played like this with my son?
Look at that healthy body of clones, I suddenly think it might be cruel for me, but isn’t that what I want to bring to my wife and children?
Healthy me, smiling wife, lively son, rich family.
I’m just not me.
I saw that moment, and I implore the people of the technology companies to let me watch them live, and I’m just trying to see the smiles of my family before I die.
I can’t believe they agreed.
So I began to look at them from afar, and watch my wife go shopping with friends, and watch my sons and classmates play and, of course, watch my clones start doing business with that huge amount of money.
Although the clones may be said to be myself, after all, he carried my consciousness and memory, I admitted that I was beginning to get a little jealous, but in the interest of the future well-being of my wife and children, I kept up with my agitated heart and saw their happy future as a cure that I had to carry on with me these days.
But what I didn’t realize was that my clone was cheating.
Indeed, he was not me, and when he had the money, he started to flaunt it, especially when his secretary, who knew that he had a family, took the initiative.
I’ve been following my wife more than once, trying to tell her the truth, but I can’t bear to turn her smile into a weeping face, and I can only endure the hope that the clones will be lost.
But I was wrong to think that the clones not only sent their sons to boarding school, but also sent their wives away to take the secretary home.
I stood in the rain, and watched the shadows of the villa twisting, and I was furious.
So I picked up a rock and threw it at the window.
Indeed, the clone scolded his head and looked at him in the rain, and I watched him so badly until he had his head back.
That alone certainly did not remove my hatred, so I waited in silence and finally waited for the opportunity.
On that day, when I watched the clone and his triad go out, I entered the house quietly.
I’ve never lived in this villa, but I still feel like I’m home.
I turned on the family of the clones and touched the face of the wife and son in the picture, and the passion for the clones began to spread.
I want a little revenge on him.
I thought so and added sleeping pills to the milk in the fridge, because I knew that I would drink milk every day before I went to bed and that clones would abide by that habit.
After that, I hid on the first floor, watching the clones and his triad drink milk, and I was happy.
Soon after, the two returned to their rooms and the snoring started.
The sleeping pills worked so well that even if I stepped hard, they were still in bed like dead pigs.
Then I packed the secretary with a huge black bag, dragged her from the villa to a work site in the light of the moon, and buried her alive in a ground pit ready to pour into concrete.
Don’t blame me. Blame yourself.
The next day, the clones did start looking for his secretary, and I stayed in the garden of the villa and watched him walk in the villa.
He finally gave up.
At the same time, the time has come for the wife to return, and I am sure that the clone will find someone to clean up.
So I deliberately changed the call ad from the cleaning company at the villa to my own.
I was dressed as a cleaner and entered the villa because I had a mustache, and the clones did not feel exactly like him.
He just covered his nose and ordered me to do it.
I intended to attack him while he was not paying attention, but I fainted in the middle because I had not slept for too long, had not eaten, and because the pain in my head had increased.
When he woke up, he only saw the clone face turned away, and he threw him out.
I didn’t, but I still had a way to kill him.
The next night, under the cover of heavy rain, I turned over the wall and re-entered the garden.
Under the cover of a massive thunderstorm, I broke the glass of the balcony on the first floor and then took a knife from the kitchen and went straight to the bedroom.
I looked at the covers in the bedroom, and I squeezed the knife in my hand, without hesitation, and I stabbed it in the blanket.
But the white blanket was not red as I thought it was, but numerous feathers came out of the knife’s mouth.
It was only then that I realized that the clone was not in the bed, and when I turned back, I found him standing behind me and throwing up a baseball bat at me.
I fled as far as I could, but naturally my body with the disease was no better than that of a cloned body, and soon I was crushed by him.
The good thing was that I tried to bite him in the thigh, and I ran down the stairs with his legs down, smashing the glass with an ashtray on the table, and then shuffled my head and hid in a tiny cupboard.
I was in the cupboard, listening to the clones running down the stairs and calling the police. And I kept it hidden in my closet.
In the end, the police found nothing but an increase in police capacity around the house, which had no effect on me, because I was in the house.
By nightfall, I drilled out of the closet, slowly walked into the library with a knife, saw that the clone was still writing his diary, and I did not hesitate to cover his mouth from behind and stab the knife into his back.
I wonder if he saw my face and whether at that point he still thought it was the cleaner’s revenge. I twisted the knife in my hand and looked at the pain of the clone, and his hands were losing strength and falling from my body.
I finally killed the clone.
There’s only one me in this world.
After cleaning up the scene, I put the clone body in a big bag and then escaped from the outside police and brought it back to the group of people in the tech company.
I told those people that I was the only one left between the clones and me today, and that they could recover the $10 million, as if none of this had ever happened.
Not only did those who looked at the cloned bodies seem not too surprised, but they were also very excited to thank me, saying that they had recently been observing my relationship with the clones, which had given them the rare test data that they would not only recover more than 10 million, but also pay me an additional sum as a reward for this data collection.
I look at the look in the eyes of those people, as if I were no different from the clones, and they don’t care whether I killed the clones or, of course, what the impact of the experiment was on me. All they wanted was cold data that represented a violent emotional change.
I left the group faceless, and they were still cheering behind me, and the clone body on the table became another joke after their tea.
When I returned to the villa, I took care of my own appearance, shaved my beard, cut my hair and put on clean and clean clothes.
Despite its poor appearance, it seemed to be no different from a clone.
Looking at myself in the mirror, I suddenly realized that if there was a way in the world to cure my illness and I just got a little money, would I become like a clone?
He is my clone, but he has my consciousness and memory, and his behaviour represents in part my behaviour, and he does what I would have done in a parallel universe.
Does that mean that it is up to me to take on the wrongs of cloning?
I was touching my face in the mirror, looking at that sick face, and I was sick.
Because even if I had killed the clone, it would have killed only the actors of evil, but it would not have been possible to hide that evil from me.
I took a deep breath and washed my face again.
And the moment when We accepted, as a source of evil, and became the end of evil.
Now I have a few months to be a source of good, and months to bring love, good and evil, and to finish what I call human, perhaps that is enough.
This is my last diary, and after closing it, I decided to go back to the living room and wait quietly for my wife.
(concluded)
Case number: YX01R0ok6jeon0a8g
Red fog recurrence
Comments
Darkness and light: deep space, dream and science fiction outside of time
Gwandeh Deep SF etc.
x
I don’t know.
Keep your eyes on the road.
