I spent 700 bucks in ktv on guys I haven’t been chasing for five years.
I put a dime in his collar:
“Give me a kiss. Here you go. I’m sorry.
He did, and he put it in my ear: “Do you want to go further?” I’m sorry.
One.
After graduation, I became a little rich woman.
Without the gift, without the prize, without the pie that hit me, it was the wind and the sunday at noon, and my dad said to me without an expression:
“You’re actually a rich generation. I’m sorry.
I thought he was faking, preparing to mock, and he threw out a row of property certificates and a bank account.
I opened it in a tremor, and it’s true. I used to think my family was the biggest family in the world.
Asked why, why didn’t you tell me all these years?
My dad repented and tried to hit the wall, “Oh, that day he was drunk…”
Thanks to Mom and Dad’s financial support, I’m out of financial pressure and I’m opening a nice cafe, and it’s easy and comfortable until…
One day, I spent 700 bucks on KTV and I was chasing a man who hadn’t pursued him for five years.
The man’s name is Fu, a single name.
It was the birthday of my best friend lemon, and we had a group of girls in KTV who drank too much and then agreed to make a crazy decision —
Order some male models to drink with us.
And then I saw it in a bunch of guys.
He hasn’t changed in two years, and his eyes are still high and his eyes are clear.
Fu Sing loves to wear white shirts, has a proud look and stands in the crowd with a sense of crane chickens.
The five of us, the three of us, have seen each other.
I stopped them first. “Sisters, let me have this. I’m sorry.
They say no by drinking, I say one word, and they’re all gone:
“He’s a god. I’m sorry.
“…”
They’re standing still, they’re quiet and they’re facing each other.
I told them more than once my story and that of the Buddha.
And then…
I sat back on the sofa with the voice of Zhang, as I wished, and the sisters gave us the most dark and quiet corners of the world in a spirit of loyalty.
I sat next to him, and I just had trouble breathing, and my chest was bored.
I’m sitting on my knees, and I’m a money-paying goldman, and I can’t say a word.
It took me a long time to ask him, “Are you two years okay?” I’m sorry.
“Hmm.”
And he whispered low, but the wire pierced through the music, and it entered into our ears.
The word “um” is the answer.
Then there will be a long silence, until,
The girls were so mean to see me, they ordered some more wine.
He was quiet and he was drinking with me, but a few bottles of wine were down and the alcohol was paralyzing my nerves.
I thought I could do it again.
I just disappeared, and after I grunted a bottle of beer, I put an empty bottle over the cup of tea in front of me, and turned to the sound of the gods.
He had a bottle in his hand, his fingers were long, his bones were clear, and even his hands were better looking than usual.
And I looked at him in silence, half-wielding, and I opened the little backpack, pulled a small sum of money out of it, and one hand unbuttoned two buttons in his chest, and the other put it in.
And then I looked at this man, who I had seen for years as a man, and said with his tongue:
“You kiss me, I’ll give you all this money, okay? I’m sorry.
He looked at me and laughed.
And We rarely saw him laugh after him for many years, and when he smiled, his eyes turned slightly, and he looked at the stars in pieces.
The next minute, he took a quick look at the money and said, “Kiss more, otherwise, I might be worried about it. I’m sorry.
And I barely came back from his smile, wrinkled with wine, “Don’t just say that you are…”
However.
Before we finished, Fu-sung really kissed.
There’s a blank in my head and a warm, soft touch on my lips that I can’t imagine for years.
And I was out of my mind, and suddenly the spirit came out of my lips, and I whispered in my ear, “Do you want to go further?” I’m sorry.
More … further?
I’ve got a bit of a brain, licking my lips, screaming, “How do I get in?” I’m sorry.
It seemed like a smile again, “Like this. I’m sorry.
Speaking of which, he kissed again, his tongue slit my lips…
Two.
Fu Fu Soo really kissed me? And a tongue!
There was a blank in my head, and I couldn’t tell if it was out of shyness, and I held his shirt tight.
In fact, after that, I thought it was stupid.
Especially since Fu let me go after a moment, laughing, “You drag me down, I’m gonna strangle you. I’m sorry.
I let go.
And as he looked at the boy whom I had seen as a god, he looked at me in silence, with a clean eye, and he grabbed the piece of paper I had just stuck in his clothes.
My God, it seems as if he has fallen in a moment, and he has smoke.
Of course, I will not dismiss him as such. On the contrary, my hands are shaking softly in my sleeve.
If he’d really stayed with me for money, that’d be great.
I’m lucky I opened a coffee shop, and I didn’t lose as much as my family expected. Instead, it became an Internet red shop, and every day people come to visit the shop and play cards.
Money, I have.
But it’s only fair and simple.
I looked at him, and I turned around to pick up the bottle, and I drank most of it, and I put it on the tea, and I took a deep breath and looked at him.
“Father…”
“Hmm? I’m sorry.
He’s responding to me, with a soft voice, falling in my ear as if it were a light feather.
It’s warm and itchy.
“That…” I licked my lips and asked him, “Can I keep you without my wallet? I’m sorry.
Fu-sung is clearly blocked.
He looked at me with his eyelids; they were dark and beautiful, but they were filled with emotions, but I couldn’t see them.
But the alcohol-influencing brain is coming back, and I’m trying to explain, “I mean, are you in need of money? I’ll give you the money. You come with me, okay? I’m sorry.
He looked at me very quietly.
It’s been really long.
And then, when I couldn’t help it, I said, “I’m very expensive.” I’m sorry.
“I have money!”
I grabbed his hand and I kept saying, “I really have money. I can give you my money. Will you stay with me? I’m sorry.
Speaking of which, I’m gonna cry.
All the pains of those years of love were triggered by alcohol at this moment, and I held his hand tight and looked at him wrongly.
Then suddenly I remembered what I had to do to open the backpack, to take all the cash out of it, and then put it in the hand of Fu-sung, and urgently proved that what I said was true.
“Fu Sing, don’t go with another woman. If you want money, call me.”
I can’t imagine the voice of the man who always wears white shirts sitting next to other women and even in bed for money.
I don’t know if it’s infected by the sudden emotion, but it’s been a little bit more and more.
He looked at me in silence, and the eyes were dark.
But I see in his eyes some mercy.
And just as I was rushing to write him off, he held my hand, he was warm, and just a few seconds of contact spread the temperature to me.
“Don’t turn yet. I’m sorry.
Saying, he glanced at the money that I had just put in his hand and whispered, “The end of the day, the money is enough for just one day.” I’m sorry.
I stopped.
Fu Soong just said he was expensive, but I didn’t think he would be so expensive.
And We put at least tens of thousands in his hand, but only enough to feed him for a day.
Last time my girlfriend said she’d take me to open my eyes and see the most expensive male model in the club.
But I bit my teeth and I agreed.
That day, I brought Fu home.
I drank, but he didn’t, and I was drunk, and I got more and more afraid.
I grabbed his clothes in the bedroom with a drink, but Fu Soong’s first reaction was to refuse, but I looked at him with my hands in his face, and I looked very carefully at him, and it was still difficult to focus on him.
I shouted at him with my tongue, “I paid for it, you, are you ready for my destruction?” I’m sorry.
And after two seconds, he laughed.
“Hmm.”
Then he really didn’t fight back.
But I was really drunk, and when I was going to take his pants, I suddenly got bored and threw up on his pants.
And then…
I don’t remember much.
Anyway, when I woke up the next day, I was in Fu Sing.
I’m wearing a pyjamas and I’m lying in Fu Sing arms.
And he was wearing only one pair of underwear.
Most of the time I woke up, and I laughed when I asked him, “What happened last night.”
He’s a little bit of an eyebrow. I’m sorry.
I guess?
I took a look at the covers and put a red eye on the sheets.
I’m so drunk last night.
And I looked at it for a long time, and I turned my lips and whispered, “That I will be responsible to you.” I’m sorry.
Speaking of which, I flipped out my phone and wanted to transfer him on the spot, but…
Last night, the phone was uncharged and turned off.
I smiled with my handshake: “I’ll pay you for today.” I’m sorry.
And then, after a moment of silence, he looked down and said, “Well.”
Next, we get up quietly, we get dressed, nobody talks.
However, as he woke up and dressed, I sneezed at his body with his underwear.
Well…
It’s a good visual… last night’s clip, unfortunately.
3
What a shame.
I rushed to take my eyes away and to look elsewhere in a panic while the voice turned around.
When he was dressed, he surrounded the lower half with a towel and looked back at me with a tiny frown: “The pants are dry. I’m sorry.
“Aah?”
I looked at the man’s pants on the balcony, “You washed them last night?” I’m sorry.
“Well,” “You spit on me.” I’m sorry.
Me?
I looked at it with a pale face, as if I did.
When I was silent face-to-face, I suddenly remembered that I still had my brother’s pants, new.
I went to the closet and turned it over and handed it to Fu-sung.
He didn’t pick it up right away, he looked at me, he looked at me, and he said, “You still have boys’ pants in your house.” I’m sorry.
His voice was light and there was nothing to question, as if it was just an understatement and he took his pants.
And from some mental state, I explained: ‘It was my brother’s. He bought it the last time he came to my house and left. I’m sorry.
Fu-sung didn’t react. He took his pants to the bathroom.
I’m gonna look at it. It’s gonna be embarrassing.
I’ve just changed my clothes, and there’s a voice in the bathroom.
“Do you have a new toothbrush?”
Yes!
I was so busy, I ran in.
I found him a toothbrush, and I grabbed my own toothbrush and stood beside him and brushed with him.
In the mirror, I wore a white dress that matched the white shirt of the voice, and we stood side by side, and I went down to him.
But…
After brushing his teeth, he’s got blood in his toothpaste.
I’m looking at my heart, “Fook, you…”
“It’s all right, it’s just a little bit of tooth inflammation lately. I’m sorry.
I had to nod my head, and I started to wonder, “Ktv, being a male model, isn’t it like on TV?
But it’s not like it looks like it.
After washing, we sat side by side of the bed, and we were silent again.
He looked at me and whispered, “Can I go to work?” I’m sorry.
Work?
And I paused, and I said on a test basis, “It means the ktv inside…”
Yes.
I can’t say it, nod and interrupt.
Don’t!
I do not want to refuse, even to pull out the phone, turn it on, quickly add Fu Soong’s friend and transfer him $10,000.
“The money’s gone to you. You’re not going to be with another woman. I’m sorry.
Thinking about it, I was soft and I added, “Okay? I’m sorry.
He looked at me, and he looked at me, “Okay.”
And when we had breakfast, We could not bear it, but we asked him aloud: “No, but find another job.” I’m sorry.
So how can a proud man be willing to do this job for money?
When I finished with that, Fu Soo put his hand on the spoon, and finally calmly said, “I need money.” I’m sorry.
And because of what, he didn’t say and I didn’t dare ask again.
I’m going to the coffee shop for breakfast, and the curry is following me.
I asked him, and he said, “I spent his wallet and his time was mine.”
Of course I agree.
I don’t know.
In the cafe.
Fu Sing, in his clean white shirt, followed me to the bar and attracted the eyes of a crowd of customers.
His face is clean, his eyes are black and pure, and he does not even have to do anything, and standing there in silence is enough to attract the eyes of all.
Some people are born to shine.
I haven’t been impressed by anyone since I was young.
I kept my chin on him, and everything seemed to be back.
I’ve known Fu-sung for years.
We went to high school and then went to the same university in the city, except that in the second half of the year, Fu Soo dropped out of school.
We haven’t heard from him since.
Nobody.
When going to school, Fussing is the most visible of the crowd, but such people are always jealous.
In high school, there was a lot of gossip in school about the voice.
When Fu Sing went to junior high school, his parents died as a result of an accident, and in his second year of high school, there was a sudden news that he was being held by a woman.
A teenage old woman.
Rumours are flying, and the Buddha never explained it, and it’s coming to him.
In fact, there were a lot of girls who liked to make a living, but at that time, because of rumours, everyone had turned away from him.
I was the only one who pursued him for five years with all the gossip, because of the iron and the hold on it.
From first year to the end of the second year.
All I remember was that when I spoke to him in public, the first thing he said to me was: “Are you not afraid, little girl, of the gossip?” I’m sorry.
I can’t remember much of the details of time, but I still remember that I looked at him seriously and firmly.
“What are you afraid of? I like someone. I’m not scared at all. I’m sorry.
Boom.
You were so brave.
Like now, he’s gonna have to play with wine.
Thanks to the help, business is good today, and of course, the customers are more female.
Business is good, but I’m a little upset, and I always feel like I’m being watched by other girls.
So I closed the door earlier today and went home with Fu Soong.
After all, there’s something more important than business, right?
But…
Fu Sing came home with me, but I lost it.
The man cooperated with me in the bedroom, but he sat by the bed and looked at me in peace, and the clear eyes made me feel guilty.
It seems that my dirty thoughts are tarnishing him.
I can’t do it.
I’ve decided to buy some more wine. After all, it’s too much to drink.
Fu Sing was very good, he bought the wine and put it on the carpet in the bedroom and turned around to the kitchen.
“What are you doing? I’m sorry.
Cooking.
He was wearing an apron, carrying the food he had bought when he had just bought wine downstairs, and he went into the kitchen, “It’s bad for the stomach to drink. I’m sorry.
He said, “Remember to eat on time.” I’m sorry.
I listened softly, followed the kitchen and asked him, “So do you care about me?” I’m sorry.
He smiled and his eyebrow looked a little softer because of that smile, “You can take it as a yes. I’m sorry.
I laughed too.
Then I’ll take it he’s concerned about me.
I sat on the couch and watched TV, and I only heard a bit of ping-pong in the kitchen, and when it wasn’t much, he came out with dinner.
Two soups, red cheese, garlic gravy, tomato egg soup.
It’s very common, but I can’t stop eating chopsticks.
Oh, my God is so capable, so handsome, so good to learn at school, even to cook.
I’ve had enough to remember the wine in the bedroom.
Forget it, I’ll throw up again.
After dinner, Fu told me not to go into the kitchen and then brushed the bowl and followed me on the couch.
But I don’t have a mind.
I can hear his breath, feel his body temperature, and even look up at him, and I can see his arc of the cold jaw.
And a microrolling throat.
Either way, I can’t be light.
Half of it was on TV, and there was a scene of a kiss on the screen.
I’m in a hurry.
Seeing the fire of the man and the woman before him, I licked the lips and looked at him.
“Fu Sing, can you kiss me too? I’m sorry.
Having said that, I had the courage to look up at him.
And then he laughed.
He said, “Okay.”
Then his kiss slipped.
The kiss was gentle, and his hands were softly on my face and his lips were softly turned.
And even for a moment, I thought that I was a treasured baby, and that I was afraid of falling.
This kiss, it deepens.
I learned the little po-vin scene, and as the kiss got deeper and deeper, my hand snuck into his collar, and my finger was shaking.
4
He held my hand and finally let it go.
I’m nervous.
However, just as I thought it would be logical for me to have another bed sheet today, the voice of the Masters declined me downplayed.
On the bed, he stopped me when I had the courage to unbutton him and held me with his clothes.
“Sleep. I’m sorry.
He whispered in my ear and his voice was a little dumb.
I don’t know if he’s had a moment with his ears just now, or what he’s worried about, even though I’m a girl and a gold lord.
But I wouldn’t force him if he refused.
In fact, being held in his arms in such a way that I can kiss his lips in the past is something that I was afraid to think about.
I’m in his arms, gently, with my hands around his waist.
Good night, Fu-sung.
I called his name softly, softly.
The windows are clear, and there are fragrances of food and food, and he’s in his arms and ears, and give me a few hundred more years.
I didn’t think Fu Sing would answer me, but after a few seconds, his voice was still ringing.
“Good night, Nancho.”
My name came out of his mouth, and it felt so easy to move.
My name is Nam. It’s rare.
Remember when Koichi and Fu Soo first met, he asked me my name, and then smiled softly: “It’s nice.” I’m sorry.
It’s the first time I’ve seen that smile, and I’ve done it.
When I think of it, I hear it whispering, “What are you thinking?” I’m sorry.
I look up and happen to look at him.
And he smiled, and those black eyes were so much emotion I couldn’t see.
And I looked at him and laughed, and I thought, “That’s right, when I was young, I couldn’t really meet someone too amazing, otherwise I wouldn’t be in peace for the rest of my life. I’m sorry.
The Buddha didn’t speak, but, after the silence, he tightened my arms.
I don’t know.
I started my “cohabitation” life without knowing why.
My home is in the city, and my parents are busy at work and never come to me, and I didn’t formally introduce my friends.
I’m not actually his girlfriend. I don’t have any names.
Actually, I’m a little selfish.
It’s too good for me, I’ve always had a mind to hide him from.
So I kept it from everyone, and I’d put it on the table at 10,000 a day.
We’re not really the same as normal couples.
Except…
Fortune never touches me.
He’ll hug me and put me to sleep, and he’ll hold my face and kiss me, but he never crosses the line.
Even once, when I deliberately took a bath, pretending to slip and sprained his feet, he ran into the bathroom and held me up in a red face, but he put me behind the bed and left his pajamas in the bedroom.
After this, I’m just doing it. I’m not messing around.
I think he probably doesn’t love me.
Fu Sing, he’s probably a psycho-puritarian, so he can touch someone he doesn’t love, and it’s really hard for him.
And I love him so much, I can’t help it.
I’m happy to keep him with me.
Although…
I’ll soon be unable to afford him.
Ten grand a day, and I’ll be able to hold that deposit for up to ten days.
That’s a coincidence.
Perhaps he was destined in the midst of meditation, on the tenth day of the sound of my master, and at night he was suddenly called.
At 2:10 a.m., the phone ring of the Buddha suddenly rings, and his phone is silent 24 hours a day, like he’s afraid of missing something.
The phone rings, and he almost sits up and grabs his pillow phone.
I almost heard the last sentence, “It’s bad. Come on! I’m sorry.
Hang up the phone, and I didn’t hear a word of it. Get up and get dressed.
I’ve never seen him so hard.
I was a little scared, and I asked him, “What happened to you?” I’m sorry.
But he didn’t talk. I didn’t even know he heard me.
When I saw him like that, I couldn’t help but get dressed.
He was so fast, dressed, he went out the door.
Fu-sung! I’m sorry.
I yelled at him and I pulled my coat and chased him out.
At the door, he wanted to leave, but stopped and looked back at me.
I stepped on slippers on one foot and on the floor on the other.
Then he whispered, “I have an emergency. Go to sleep, and do not wait for me tonight. I’m sorry.
I was so busy, “I don’t trust you. Can I come with you? I’m sorry.
“I promise not to mess up. I’m sorry.
And he looked at me, and he stretched out his hand, rubbing my hair, and his voice was dumb: “Get your shoes on and get cold at night.” I’m sorry.
I noded my head, changed my shoes, followed Fu away.
We stopped a taxi, and on the way, I looked on the side of the face, so I had to remember the scene.
At the door of the room, he held his hand gently on my hair and looked at my eyes, like when he was in KTV, tender and merciful.
The driver was driving fast, with a small number of cars in the morning, and soon arrived at his destination as a result of the rush.
It’s the hospital.
The best oncological hospital in our city.
I seem to have guessed something, but I don’t know who else can make him think so, or even pay to be a male model.
When I got out of the cab, Fu-sung almost ran all the way to the hospital, and I followed him in a hurry and ran.
Emergency room front door.
Fu-sung looks at the lights inside and his hands are tight.
For some reason, he looked inside, and I stood behind him, and I didn’t know what he had experienced, or what kind of experience he had, to make the sound of the present.
We did not say a word during this period.
In fact, I tried to ask him who was in there, but I hesitated and I didn’t say anything to disturb him.
Some time later, the operating room lights went out and a doctor came out.
Fu-sung ran away almost instantaneously, but the doctor gave him the last answer:
“Sorry, we tried. I’m sorry.
“The patient still has some consciousness and has something to say. I’m sorry.
And he stood there, and left me only a shadow. And yet, while he had not moved, it seemed as if the back had bent.
Soon, the medical staff pushed a man out and entered a ward.
A woman, a middle-aged woman.
Fu Soo followed in fast.
They came to me, and I looked at the woman who was lying on the prowl.
This man, I’ve seen.
In the same year, there were rumours in the school that Fu Sing had been taken care of by a rich woman of his teens and that the rumours were well founded and well-sighted.
And I’ve seen pictures that go on, because it’s about the voice, so I’m pretty clear.
Even though the woman who was just lying in the cart was very sick and pale, I knew it at first sight.
That’s her.
She’s the one who’s been in his teens.
5
I don’t know what it felt like in that moment.
There seems to be some truth, but it does make me somewhat unacceptable.
So everything Fu-sun did, even to be a male model, was for a middle-aged woman of his teens who had no blood ties?
I can’t help but think.
So, my ten grand a day’s allowance is used to treat her.
At that moment, the heart was sour, it didn’t taste.
The ward door.
I was standing two steps away from the door of the ward and was able to see what was inside because of the rush to close the door.
He kneeled half by his bed and held her hand tight, and even when the sky collapsed, he would still bend his back to the right hand, and now he would shivering.
I can’t see the face of the Buddha, but I can see the woman’s face, she’s looking at her voice and whispering.
She held her hand tight and her shoulder broke.
Suddenly, she turned around and looked at me.
I waited, I didn’t know how to react, and I looked at her so stupidly until she looked at me and laughed and turned back.
Fu Sing looked at me as she did, and the eyes were red.
The middle-aged woman seemed to have run out of oil, and she barely spoke with her father, but she was getting weaker.
Until…
He leaned over her.
Once again, it seems that there is no movement for women.
Fu Sing kneeled in front of the bed for a long time, and then he stood up, organized the women ‘ s clothes and bed, left the door peacefully and called the nurse.
He never said a word to me.
I’m starting to get a little scared.
The man he’s looking for is dead, and he doesn’t have to give up for medical expenses.
I can’t think.
I wonder if it’s too sad that after the death of a woman, Fu Sing showed great calm.
It’s a bit scary.
I even preferred that he kneeled there and wept, which was the response when a man was sad.
He called the nurse calmly, watched the hospital staff push the woman into the hospital morgue calmly, and came home with me to sleep.
And when we came home, the sky was brightened, and we were in bed with our clothes, and we were silent.
I couldn’t stand it. Turn around and ask him softly:
“So, are you really in love with my sister? I’m sorry.
I couldn’t help but ask. The woman looked at me, and she was always in my heart.
I can’t say that look, I can’t forget it.
But I didn’t think that Fu-sung’s reaction would be so big that he sat up and looked at me.
“I don’t want to hear that again. I’m sorry.
I’ve never seen such a cold face in my life, but I can’t believe it.
So long, it seemed to calm down, and he leaned in front of me, and rounded me in his arms, and softly:
“In the early South, people can suspect me, pour dirty water, but believe me. I’m sorry.
I know where it is, but he just said that he wanted me to believe him, but he said nothing about his past.
There is no explanation even for words.
But, I have to say, Fu Xian really knows me, and he should know that I am the one who will believe him unconditionally in the world.
I don’t know.
The next day, Fu Sing had her funeral, the cemetery had been bought in advance, and I learned her name from the tombstone: Smoky.
This middle-aged woman seemed to have few relatives and friends, and the funeral was particularly simple, and only the curtsing gave her a last ride.
Of course, there’s me.
Throughout the funeral, Fu Soong and I never said a word, and we sent this middle-aged woman away in peace and silence.
After the funeral, Fu-sung and I left.
Walking on the road is still a moment of silence, and this silence scares me.
He’s going to leave me without fear and restraint.
I dare not ask, fear the answer is what I do not want to hear.
But finally, Fu Soo spoke.
And when he was on the way, he grabbed my hand, and We swooped and stopped, but he looked down and looked up at him.
“Do you have any money? I’m sorry.
That’s the first thing he asked me.
I stopped, and I bit my teeth tight: “Yes, I did. I’m sorry.
“But…”
I’m still asking myself, “Now, can you make it cheaper?” I’m sorry.
It’s funny.
It’s that kind of light smile, no sound, a slight bend in the eye, a smile in the eye.
He said, “Okay. I’m sorry.
“A dollar a day, can you afford it? I’m sorry.
I’ve been stunned for a long time, and I said, “Can I do a lifetime vip? I’m sorry.
Listen to me say “lifetime” and I’m stunned. There’s some emotions I can’t understand.
He smiled and held my hand gently: “Okay. I’m sorry.
The wind came up on the street, causing a bit of chill, and he held my hand gently, “Go home. I’m sorry.
After that, he held my hand and put it in his pocket.
And I followed him in his footsteps, but I never thought that one day I would hear three words from him.
Go home.
In my pocket, I gently held his hand.
Well, go home, together.
I don’t know.
That night, Fu-sung and I drank.
The room was filled with wine, and there were empty bottles on the floor, and he looked in his eyes and whispered, “A little headache, go to bed and I’ll clean up the room in the morning.” I’m sorry.
“Good. I’m sorry.
Of course I won’t reject him, anything.
We were lying on the bed side by side, and he was wearing a shirt and trousers, while I was wearing a knitted knob.
After lying down for a while, I felt that the position was too alien and lifted up his arms and rolled into his arms.
These days, we’ve been close, we’ve been drinking, we’ve been in his arms, and I’m afraid I dare to do so.
I wanted to be more close to him, but…
But he told me his secrets about his past and about the middle-aged woman named Shizuku.
This is the first time I’ve seen a smoker.
He sat up and held me in one hand, while the other hand took the smoke and the lighter out of the bedside cupboard and drew a light.
“In the South, the rumors are farting. I’m sorry.
I was wrong to look up, but it seemed like I saw another very different sign.
For many years, he was one of the proud, cold, unspoken.
For the first time, I saw him smoking smoke and mouth-blowing, but that kind of flair made me feel the truth.
For so many days, it was only today that I felt that the man next to him was flesh and blood.
He smoked a cigarette and turned his head at me. The smoke was between us, blurring his eyes.
“Smoking is nothing older than my teenage lover. She’s my second mother. I’m sorry.
He said this in tremors and his voice, and then told me a long and deep story.
In junior high, Fu Sing’s parents died and became orphans as a result of an accident.
The legacy left by the parents was divided by relatives, while he lived on the streets and was homeless.
At this point, it was Hsu who picked him up.
Actually, he doesn’t know Squid, but Squid and his father do.
The smoking profession, which is difficult to say, is that of men.
She’s been lonely, childless, no family, no friends.
After picking up Fu Soong, she changed her job and stopped making that dirty money, because she said she couldn’t let him look down on him.
Many years of savings and some savings, she was afraid to spend because she would stay and provide for school.
Speaking of which, a cigarette just went out of fire and looked at me in the eye, “Are you wondering why she picked me up and gave me so much?” I’m sorry.
I really nodded my head.
Especially with those rumors, I can’t help but think.
He smiled, and said, “In fact, the smoke is a silly woman who has loved a man for many years and has loved, without interruption, without demand. I’m sorry.
I suddenly understood.
She smiled, “She told me why she did this because, when he was young, my dad had a business failure, he had a bad day, he risked suicide, and she looked sore, but she was an orphan and she went down to sea to help him. I’m sorry.
“But when she took the money she saved to give to my dad, she found out he was married, my mom and dad were married, my mom saw my dad’s face and my dad saw my mom’s family’s money and power. I’m sorry.
I can’t hear it. “She was with your dad? I’m sorry.
The sound of the fuzzy smoke, shake your head.
“It’s been one love all along, so she’s stupid. I’m sorry.
He hesitated and lit the second cigarette, and in the smoke, he stinged his tummy, like he was remembering the past:
“When she picked me up, she told me that it wasn’t all because of my dad who decided to take me home, and she said that she had had an accident with a guest’s child that she was going to have, but because one of them was a boy. I’m sorry.
She said, “She saw me in the street, and she thought, if her child had been born, it would have been much smaller than me. If it had been her child, she would have died. I’m sorry.
“But…”
I’ve been looking up at you, and I’ve been feeling so bad, “Nanji, do you think she’s been waiting for me to say “Mom”? I’m sorry.
“I whispered when I finally hugged her, but I didn’t know if she heard me. I’m sorry.
“This woman has been a fool all her life without waiting for a word from my father or waiting for me to call her mother. I’m sorry.
He will burn half the smoke and turn his head: “What a fool.” I’m sorry.
Six.
Seriously, I’m a little speechless and I don’t know what to say.
Short, but what Fu Soong just described was his entire youth experience.
Some are heartbroken and others are disheartened by my skepticism.
I don’t know how to comfort him. I can only turn around and hold him.
“She heard it. She must have heard it. I’m sorry.
Nod, no talk.
That night, we talked a lot, talked about the past, talked about the past, but, for the future, nothing was said.
Maybe it’s a drink, maybe it’s after the wound is cut open in front of people, and there’s always some kind of emotional laxity.
I don’t know who’s taking the initiative, but we’re going to slow down and kiss.
This kiss seemed different from before, with some tremors, some incomprehensible emotions, and I put my hands to his chest, and my fingers were tight and loose, just like my heart.
Tonight, it seems to be a little different than in the past, when he held me in his arms, he breathed hot, his hands shivered on my waist, and then slowly faded off the shoulder belt of my sleeping dress…
I closed my eyes and took the initiative to deepen the kiss.
I thought he’d understand what I meant, but he stopped when he was in his shirt.
He took a deep breath, took his hand back, and his voice was low:
“Nan, we can’t. I’m sorry.
“Why?”
I opened my eyes to him, and this time it was a real disappointment: “Isn’t this the first time I took you home? I’m sorry.
“Why not? I’m sorry.
But he doesn’t talk.
He was silent, he helped me with the shoulder belt, he accidentally touched my shoulder, and it was warm.
What are you running from? I don’t believe it. You just didn’t get a thing for me. I’m sorry.
He is. We were just so close. I saw a little love in his eyes.
He took me into his arms, and his jaw over my head, and he lamented: “Sorry, we were not allowed to do this at the beginning of the South.” I’m sorry.
Or not.
He knew he was going to eat me, so he refused.
And I hid in his arms for a long time, but I learned only that he had groaned, and said to him in his breast, “No, then not.” I’m sorry.
I’m not a leopard. I don’t have to eat him.
And this night we shall fall in congested sleep.
Strangely, when I was so close to him, and his heart was beating in my ear, but I saw, in a strange way, that he was getting further away from me.
And when he fell asleep, We asked him, “Is there something you are hiding from me?” I’m sorry.
I always thought he had something to hide from me, not just about the smoke.
Fu Sing hasn’t answered me for a long time.
At the moment when I almost fell asleep, his low-pressed voice came down in my ears, as if everything was just my illusion.
If I say so, don’t blame me, okay? I’m sorry.
I wanted to say, “No, so don’t hide something from me,” but I couldn’t open my eyes, and I fell asleep.
I don’t know.
The next day I woke up in Fortune.
It’s more than 9 o’clock, and Fu-sung has rarely slept lazy, forgot to pull the curtains last night, and the sun is pouring out in the corner of the window, falling in the eyebrows of Fu-sing, and I’m a little shiversy.
He has known him for many years, and will be remembered for his beauty in this peaceful morning.
I never thought there would be such a good-looking boy in the world before I met Fu.
He was cold and proud, left in his white clothes, with his back always straight, standing in the crowd, always flaunting his chickens.
If you change your sex, you’ll be like Mr. Kim Yuen’s little dragon girl.
And then look back, and you’re awake.
He looked at me, smiled at me, looked at me, looked at me, and he came and kissed me on my lips.
Perhaps I just woke up, and my head slit and my fingertips touched my lips, and I said, “Is this your job?” I’m sorry.
It’s freezing too.
Silence for a moment, he smiled, he sat up, “You can take it as a yes. I’m sorry.
Well, this ambiguity again.
However, I’ve gotten used to this attitude, and I’ve stopped thinking about it. He’s with me now anyway.
At least I can kiss him now, and I can do whatever I want.
It’s the past that I can’t imagine.
I don’t know.
I fell in love with him when he said two gruesome words about the morning.
At this point in time, the waiter is already open, and I don’t have to hurry.
When we were washing together in the bathroom, I suddenly found in the mirror, the white face of Fu-sung.
“Father…”
I took my toothbrush and looked at him, “Why don’t you look good? I’m sorry.
For a moment, the voice, “No, it’s probably light. I’m sorry.
I nod my head and keep brushing my teeth, but I noticed that Fu-song seems to have lost weight again recently.
Fu Soo, I bit my toothbrush and scratched his arm with my hand: “You’ve recently lost weight, you have to eat well.” I’m sorry.
Speaking of which, I threw out the toothpaste in my mouth and strangled it with my hands. His face: “You’re too thin, you’re not healthy, you’re a little fatter.” I’m sorry.
Fowler laughs, “Okay.”
Breakfast is still made of french toast and fried eggs, and two cups of warm, pure milk.
I’m afraid I’ve got a single, and Fu Sing has fried two more black peppers.
Maybe to keep me from worrying, Fu-sung ate a lot today and cleaned up half of my remaining eggs.
I looked at him and thought it was like a dream, and I never thought that one day, Fu Xing would clean up my leftovers like a committed boyfriend.
However, after eating, the father ran into the bathroom with his mouth shut, as usual.
He didn’t have time to close the door. I followed him in.
“Ugh…”
It’s his vomit.
I had a heart attack, I ran to his back, but before I stood up, I was pushed by the hand that had been stretched back.
He abated and whispered, “Get out and wait for me. I’m sorry.
“It’s okay, I’m…
I don’t hate you.
But when he did not finish, he interrupted: “Get out! I’m sorry.
I had to leave the bathroom, pour him a glass of warm water and wait for him at the door.
After a while, there was a sound of toilet pumping in the bathroom, and immediately afterwards, he was supposed to open the tap and rewash.
And when they came out, they washed their faces, and their faces were dry beads and pale.
I gave him the water, worried, “Are you feeling sick lately?” We’re not going to the store today. I’m sorry.
“No need,” he took a sip of water and smiled at me, and said, “Don’t worry, I’ve got a stomach and a cold lately, I’ll go to the pharmacy and buy some medicine. I’m sorry.
“Really? I’m sorry.
“I lied to you for what. I’m sorry.
He drank the water in a sobering state and then went into the kitchen and continued to do the dishes.
Seeing that he’s nothing different, I’m not too concerned about it because I’m so greedy, I always eat.
We went to the coffee shop.
The blessing of Toforth, my old net shop is now more popular.
In a face-to-face society where people who came to drink coffee secretly filmed the voice of the Father, the voice of the Father quickly rose with a very high face.
There are countless girls coming for him.
I’m a little edgy, but I’m proud of myself.
Look, the boys I like are so beautiful, so beautiful, and so many girls.
Of course, including me.
I think I’ll always be the one who likes Fu-sung’s best.
Everyone loved his skin, but I knew him for almost eight years, chased him for five years, and I loved him from the heart to the soul.
I don’t know.
This time of year, the voice is getting soft on me.
It’s so sweet.
I couldn’t help but ask him, “Do you have any feelings for me? I’m sorry.
“Fu Sing, let’s not talk about profit. Let’s be serious together. I’m sorry.
You like me a little bit, don’t you? I’m sorry.
But he never answered positively.
And every time he only smiles softly, and then rubs my hair, and at the end he says nothing.
He knows me too well, and I never let him go away, so even though he had escaped from these problems, I would not have asked him for it.
Every time, you have to do it.
But it made me feel that he liked me too.
Like…
On this autumn, full of leaves, he will hand over his coat to me in the windy streets, then wrap my hand around his palms and take me for a walk on the street.
For example, I accidentally mentioned to Mi-mi that I wanted to eat a new sweet shop, and Fu-soon found an excuse to go out, lined up for an hour and bought me all his new stuff.
And, for example, I accidentally found that Fu Sing’s cell phone wallpaper was our photo.
That’s a picture of us kissing, and one time I came in, and I took pictures of me and Fu-song kissing in a delayed manner.
And it is also a picture of my heart, in the middle of the sunset, and the rest of it falls around us, and a light of gold is painted for each other.
It’s wonderful.
For example, every kiss I made with Fu-song, he was very serious, serious and pious.
He always likes to hold my face gently, and then he turns on my lips, and every time he kisses, it gives me a feeling of special value.
But when I thought that Zhuang was in love with me, fate made a joke.
In the early morning of the autumn and winter, I woke up and found Fu Sing fainted on the floor.
At that moment, my heart was strangulated, tense and worried, and I could hardly breathe.
I don’t even know how I dialed the emergency number.
All I know is that when I sent him to the hospital in a bad way, after he had come to the examination, when he was in the final stages of stomach cancer, my world collapsed.
I can’t believe it.
Why was the day-time goose-free and proud boy, the beautiful boy in the world, the doctor’s ultimatum?
But Fu Sing knew his condition.
So, when he woke up in the room, he looked at me and laughed for seconds.
He raised his hand, rubbed my eyebrow tears, and smiled so soft:
Did I scare you?
7
Did I scare you?
That word, every word makes me cry.
So he actually knew he was sick, so those faces were pale, hemorrhaging his teeth and vomiting were not just a problem.
So he never talks to me about the future, never promises me.
So…
At ktv, when I offered to raise him with my wallet, he looked at me with tenderness and compassion.
He knew everything from the beginning, and I didn’t know if he loved me, and if he loved me, I couldn’t imagine his feelings since that day.
And We looked at him in silence, on his bed, and he was pale, and his skin was almost transparent.
And I looked at him for a moment, and he smiled at me: “In fact, I wanted to hide it from you until the day I couldn’t catch it, who knew the body was so useless and suddenly fainted.” I’m sorry.
It’s better if he doesn’t talk. I cry more.
“So why didn’t you say earlier, why not treat? I’m sorry.
I hold his hand, and every time I ask a word, the sound trembles.
As usual, the hand stretches and rubs my hair, and it’s very light: “The useless Nanchi is cured and only wasted money, not to mention…”
He laughed: “I have no money, and I have never planned any treatment. I’m sorry.
Yeah, he didn’t mean anything from the beginning to the end.
And he lay there looking at me, and his eyes became red, and he said, “One of the things that I regret most is that day in Ktv promised you. I’m sorry.
I’m holding.
“Why?”
He shuddered with his fingertips, still rubbing on my hair and rubbing my hair.
‘Cause it cost you money, and it didn’t last long, and I know what you’re thinking, but I really can’t give it back. I’m sorry.
He groaned and whispered: “In fact, it’s bad, it cost you, and I can’t leave you anything. I’d never nod again in ktv if I did it again. I’m sorry.
He also seemed to be able to shed tears in his eyes, but turned his head and refused to shed tears in front of me.
It’s hard to describe how the heart of that moment was broken.
I’ve never seen Fu-song cry, even that day at a smoke funeral.
But right now, from my point of view, I can see him turn his head and shed tears.
Every drop hits my heart and throws a sound.
I looked at his side of the face, my God, and he seemed to be not in this world.
The heart is sore at once.
I don’t know.
On the third day of the hospital, Fu Sing asked me to leave the hospital and go home.
Actually, Fu Sing doesn’t know that I’m already working on a store to treat him.
I couldn’t stop him, and I went quietly to his attending.
“Doctor, please tell me the truth. What are the chances that Fu Xian will be cured? I’m sorry.
I had a plan in my heart, even if I had one percent hope, I had to save him.
But only in our two offices, the doctors looked at me and shook their heads and sighed: “I’ve heard some of the things that have been done, and I’m a poor child. To tell you the truth, it’s too late, cancer cells have spread all over my body, it’s no use for treatment, it’s just torture. Let’s go back and make him happy. I’m sorry.
I waited a long time.
The doctor’s statement means that there is no room for treatment.
In the end, I left the office with a red eye and went back to the ward to pick up everything and take him home.
On the bed, he looked at me quietly and held my hand, “Go home. I’m sorry.
I’m tough on it, “Okay, go home. I’m sorry.
I took a cab home with Fu-sung, got out of the car, he took a bag from me, “It’s not like I can’t move. I’m sorry.
I did not argue with him again, so he took the bag with his other hand and held me in his right hand.
Actually, I’ve been trying to ask him more than once these days if he’s ever been interested in me.
It’s just the end of it.
Forget it, love doesn’t move, it doesn’t make any difference, leaving is the end of it, and if I did, I’m afraid it makes me feel worse.
Go home, Fu-soon drop the bag and turn around and look at me.
Honestly, I’m afraid to look into his eyes.
However, he raised my face with his hands and forced me to look him up.
For the most part, it’s gentle, and it’s rare to have this almost hegemonic move.
But at the moment when my eyes were facing each other, We shed tears in vain.
I was trying to keep it, but…
And look at the close face of Fu-sung, and the tears are getting worse and worse.
He looked at me for two seconds, and at the end he lamented, and he went to my tears with his fingertips, and he kissed.
It was a very gentle kiss.
I was almost shaking, and there was a blank in my head, and I couldn’t do anything, and I had to snuggle around his neck, and it was getting deeper and deeper.
But finally, nothing happened.
“Let’s have another drink. I’m sorry.
I consciously refused: “No, the doctor says you…”
He looked at me, “It’s all right. I wanted to do whatever I wanted on the last day. I’ve had my whole life. I’m sorry.
The phrase “life” really poked me.
He’s in his twenties, why is he forever?
Of course I can’t say no.
Finally, I promised to come down, but I’d only have two beers with him for three chapters.
He smiled down.
So, we went out in thicker clothes and were going to the supermarket to buy food and wine.
This seems to be the first time that Fu-sung and I went to the supermarket together.
Like the most common couple, we walk around hand-in-hand, we push the shopping cart, we stay in front of the shelf:
It’s not fresh, it’s too expensive…
Together, we picked up items full of a shopping car, meat, vegetables, snacks, and some seemingly sweet little home.
Like the cute little bird-like toothpick box, and when you press the button, the little bird comes down and picks up a toothpick.
Like a light blue dry flower and a nice bottle of glass, which looks sweet and beautiful, and looks like a great alchemist.
At the end of the bill, Fu Soo got ahead.
When he paid, he took up two shopping bags and left and looked back at me and laughed: I haven’t bought you anything for so many days. I can spend hundreds of dollars. I’m sorry.
I laughed and followed him.
But…
I found out that Fu-sung used to be tough.
From getting off a taxi to entering my house, only five minutes away, Fu Sing stopped four times.
He’s sick as a mountain, and he used to work with me in a coffee shop as if he’d been all right.
I tried to grab the shopping bag in his hand several times, but he refused.
And he looked at me, and still was the familiar look, and he laughed, “Come on, I’ll feel like I’m useless.” I’m sorry.
Eventually, he brought home two bags full of stuff.
In the kitchen, we wash and cook together, and I cook, but, like, cooks what you say is food.
He’s a chef, so I did it.
We’re laughing, and the kitchen is full of laughter and smoke, and I’m washing other dishes while I watch his back.
Give me a little longer time to get along
I don’t ask for a hundred years, even one more year, even one more day.
I found that I can’t really think about Fu-song’s illness, and I can’t stop crying.
He’s cooking, and I’ve shed tears behind him.
I turned around before he turned back and covered myself with more water.
This is actually the hardest meal I’ve had since I was a kid.
I can’t really laugh.
I look at a boy in a white shirt and I think about it all.
How could such a beautiful man be sentenced to death?
How?
But I can’t show it, and I’m afraid it’s worse, but, as the doctor says, every day that comes next, I have to let him laugh.
But it was still in my heart that he said:
At dinner, he peeled a lot of shrimp for me and pushed the bowl with shrimp on it to my face.
“I’ll be gone. Remember to eat on time. I’m sorry.
I really didn’t do it, I cried, I fell down, but I couldn’t look up, I used chopsticks to squeeze rice and stuff it in my mouth.
The rice mixed with tears, is thick.
It was the most memorable day of my life.
Me and Fu-sung went to the supermarket, bought food, cooked dinner, had dinner, drank drinks.
I drank a lot.
I remember, after I was drunk, I kissed him a lot of times.
I asked him, “Did any other girl kiss you like me?” I’m sorry.
“You’re the only one.” I’m sorry.
I remember, the sunset was beautiful and the night was beautiful.
I drank too much, and then I couldn’t remember.
I can only remember that when I fell asleep with a blurry mind, there seemed to be a voice in my ear:
“I’m sorry I didn’t give you back at all. I’m sorry.
“I’m sorry, but I have the same thoughts as you. I’m sorry.
“I’m sorry, it’s time to say goodbye. I’m sorry.
I don’t know.
He seems to have said something, but I can’t remember. It’s heavy.
But when I woke up, everything was late.
Fu Sing is not here.
I woke up the next morning, and I walked all over the room barefoot, and I didn’t see what had happened.
Only on the table, there’s a letter left behind.
And when I saw it, my heart was heavy, and suddenly there was a bad feeling.
Sure.
I was shaking to open the paper, and I took a look, and I saw a drop on the bottom right:
Fold off.
The hand shakes, the paper falls on the table, the white eye.
I thought that Zhang would suffer from illness and had to accept that he would be taken away from the disease one day in the future, but I never thought he would leave the world so quickly and so proactively.
I didn’t read the letter, so I got a call…
8
The call was made by the police, who said that the body of Fu Xing had been found in the corner of the nearby park.
He took a large dose of sleeping pills, and only my phone number was on the phone.
Hang up the phone, I put the letter away, and then I walked out the door with my bare feet and even forgot my shoes.
But when I closed the door, I stood barefoot in an empty building, and suddenly I couldn’t control it and cried.
The saddest thing is not the death of Fu Soong, but rather than dying of disease, I think I know him, choosing the day of the wind and the sun, quiet and willing to say goodbye to the world.
But most of all, he ended up killing himself in an empty corner.
He doesn’t have a home.
He and Hsiang’s former residence were sold by him for treatment, and he had no place at the last moment in the world.
I cried to myself how I liked such a fool, who was a bit of a bad person, and until the last minute of his life, he kept his goodness and dignity.
He did not choose to commit suicide in a hotel, nor did he leave his house, where he had nowhere to go, so he chose to go to an empty park in the early hours of the morning, to find a corner where no one would look, to take sleeping pills and to leave in peace.
I can’t accept that.
I really can’t accept that.
I’ve been crying in the hallway for a long time and even the neighbors open the door to me.
I seem to have disturbed them, and I’m sorry, but I can’t really control myself.
I don’t know how long I cried until…
I seem to have heard the voice of the Buddha, and he said, “You don’t look good when you cry.”
I looked up and I hoped it was just a farce, but there was nothing in the building.
But I realized that Fu Sing was there.
He seems to be looking at me in a corner, and he’s looking at me.
Take a deep breath and I’ll stand up against the wall. I know I’m going to take care of everything.
In this world, he’s only me.
I went to the police station and saw Fu-sung.
He was lying there, wearing a white shirt, tied to the second one with a cufflink.
His face was so calm that it did not look like he was suffering from disease, even though his lips showed signs of upward growth.
But he’s cruel.
How could he leave me alone at home, so that I could immerse myself in his beautiful dream last night and leave the world alone in silence?
I didn’t even say goodbye to him.
I like the boys for so many years, and it’s his one-sided farewell that we end up with.
He is the sweetest and most cruel presence in the world.
I don’t know.
That night, I locked myself in my room and the letter was opened again in a tremor.
It’s a long letter and three pages.
It’s the handwriting of my favorite, but every word of it breaks my heart:
Nancho, I’m sorry to say goodbye this way. Too much to say, but I don’t know where to start.
I’m sorry, but I’m a very weak person, and I can’t afford to love you so much, because I’m weak, because I’m low, because I’m afraid to hurt you, because I’m afraid to respond to you when I go to school.
But for me, you’re always special, of all the people I met, the most special.
You’ve never been in love before. I like you more than anyone, but I can’t say. You’ve done well, you’re a beautiful little princess, but I’m just an orphan, and I’ve been pushed out of school, and I’ve been mentioned in school, and there’s always been widespread rumours, and even the money I’ve spent on school, that woman with whom I have no blood.
I’ve tried to come to you so many times to tell you, and I like you, but every time I look at you, there’s nothing to say.
You may not know that you have very pure eyes, and I think it must have been very nice to have been protected by your family since you were a child.
I thought everything would be all right after I got into college, but the rumours were still there, and the smoke found out it was terminal.
So I dropped out of school in the second year and started working around to make money for her.
So I cut off all ties with you and I don’t want to get you into trouble.
But I’ve been watching you, and I’ve been checking your tweets, watching your life in secret, and I know you won a first-class prize, and I know you’ve been in practice, and I know you graduated, and then I opened a cafe…
I’m happy for you. I’m happy for the girl I like.
But in the meantime, I was detected with stomach cancer.
Because it took too long, it was already mid-term and doctors said that cancer cells were spreading fast.
I began to believe in fate, and I found that no matter how hard I live, fate never treated me well.
It never gives me any hope, but I think it would be a wish if I could cure the smoke.
I wanted to work as hard as I used to, but my body didn’t allow it.
My health is not too good. To save her, I chose to work in ktv, as you can see.
But, Nanchi, I really believe in fate because…
It was really my first day at work that I met you in this awkward situation.
With the exception of fate, I cannot explain this coincidence.
It was the day I regretted most.
I had a drink that day before I came in. I was impulsive.
I knew my life was short, but I couldn’t bear to come near you, kiss you, or even finally promise to go home with you.
With your money, one of the things I’m most ashamed of.
But the day I saw you, I was really shaken, and I thought, “Does God pity me for the last time in my life and let me come closer to my dreams?
You were drunk the other day and I didn’t touch you.
My life has come to an end, but you have a long way to go, and you’ll meet a loving, gentle boy and you’ll fall in love.
How dare I drag you with my clothes and sick body.
The blood on the sheet was on my finger. I thought you’d wake up and drive me away while people were in danger, and I walked away.
But you didn’t blame me.
And then the next day, it really seemed to me like it was stolen, and every second, every kiss, I took it very seriously.
Actually, you don’t know.
I spend every day with you as the last.
But the smoke’s gone really bad for me.
I’ve lived my life several times before, and I understand this pain, and I’m beginning to wonder what you would do if I left one day.
Will you be sad, will you hide and cry, will you not eat on time, will you never meet someone who treats you with kindness?
I can’t worry, but I know it’s only a matter of time before I leave.
Especially since then, my body’s getting worse and harder.
Remember that time I threw up in the bathroom? I kicked you out. I was mean. I’m sorry, but I’m afraid you’re afraid to see blood coming out of the toilet.
Forgive me for being selfish, but I don’t want you to see the voice of an immutable man who is suffering from illness, and I hope that in your memory, the voice of a young man who used to wear white shirts, likes black short hair, likes to smile softly at you.
Forgive my weakness, I can only leave quietly when you fall asleep, and I cannot say goodbye to you face to face, and I fear I will not be able to leave.
When you see this letter, I must have left, so don’t cry. Believe me, I’m happy, really.
Because I left the happiest day of my life.
I went to the supermarket with a girl I’ve been sneaking around for years, we cooked dinner, we drank, we kissed.
I’m happy, really.
I went so far to end it, I didn’t want to give you any trouble.
Nanchi, you know, I have no family, no friends, the only person I can trust in this world is you.
So don’t make me leave uneasy.
I don’t say those hypocritical words that make you forget me, but I hope that when you think of me, it’s all our happy memories.
I hope that I will walk in this world and that the memories I bring you will not be painful.
I also hope that my departure will not take away the power of your beloved.
You’re young and you’ll meet a better person in the future, and if you do, don’t refuse because of me, and if that day comes, I want you to put me in your memory and love others.
I’m more afraid than you’ll forget me, you’ll miss yourself.
– I can’t.
I don’t know.
It’s a long letter, I’ve read one word and one word.
Strangely, I have not lost a tear when I look at the words of my heart before my death.
I’ve seen it all with a smile, just like Fu Sing left.
Fu Sing may not know that his departure will not take away the power of my beloved, but rather I will because he knows how to love everyone in the world.
A man who loved so gentle and beautiful will be cured by him.
I smiled and I looked out the window.
The moon outside the window is as high as the eyes of the Buddha.
I’ll remember you and I’ll love you later.
But…
He smiled, but he couldn’t bear the tears.
Must’ve accidentally opened the window and the sand came in.
(Exhales)
Three years after Fu Soong left, I met a boy.
He’s like he was.
He likes to wear a white shirt with short black hair, clear eyes and gentleness.
It’s a copy of the Buddha’s voice.
I fell into it with my head, but he was completely different from the Buddha, who was truly gentle, and he was nothing but an illusion.
I knew from the beginning that his tenderness was just faking, actually, a sea king.
But I still didn’t reject his approach.
I held his hand and hugged him, but I refused to kiss him, and I gave him money, and I did not give him anything outside.
So, I’m the only girlfriend he talked to for over a month.
We were together for the second month and six days, and it was Fu-sung’s birthday.
The other day, I changed my favorite white dress, dressed up and asked the boy out.
And behold, at the moment when he saw Me, he saw a flashing wonder.
That day, I took him to the supermarket, bought food together, drove home, cooked together, then ate and drank.
He didn’t know why, but I did.
That night, I drank a beer and then, after dinner, I hugged him.
“Found, goodbye. I’m sorry.
And We put my head on his chest and whispered.
He stunned, “Frying? I don’t call Fu-sing! I’m sorry.
I didn’t care, I let go of my hand and took a little step back and looked at him laughing in tears.
“This time, really goodbye. I’m sorry.
The boys looked at me inexplicably, yelled “crazy” and left in anger, texted me a break-up and announced a new girlfriend.
I’m out of Twitter, watching my cell phone wallpaper.
Three years ago, my cell phone wallpaper was still the same photo, the sunset, and Fu Soong and I kissed.
I looked at it for a long time and changed the wallpaper.
The new wallpaper is a cartoon picture of a couple of cute little cats rolling over the grass, full of life.
It took me three years to come out, and I will not forget the boy who was in my life, who surprised me throughout my youth, but I learned to put it down.
It’s time to put it down, like Fu-sung wants.
That night I had a dream.
After Fu-sung left, I first dreamt of him.
In the dream, the voice of the Buddha smiles, and there is no change between him and his memory, white shirt, black hair, and tender eyes.
He came by smiling, rubbed my hair, smiled so soft.
“Nang, this time, I’m really relieved to leave. I’m sorry.
In my dream, I laughed too.
And We looked at him in silence, and the lips swung up, “Okay. I’m sorry.
And he withdrew his hand and set his face at me: “You were so beautiful when you laughed, really.” I’m sorry.
I laughed at him, “Well, I thought so.” I’m sorry.
(concluded full text)
Record number: YXA1Gnmr8adcOyPB5lGcpQpK
I don’t know.
Keep your eyes on the road.
