What is the experience of
having a childhood sweetheart? At half past twelve, Gu An knocked on the door of his house.
I had recited that speech twelve times in my heart, but he was drunk and poured it on me when he came back. The hot breath
mixed with the smell of alcohol hit the side of my neck. It didn’t make sense. There was still numbness.
I dragged him to the sofa.
Gu An.
I called out his name.
Hmm?
He answered vaguely and suddenly leaned close to me. His seductive peach blossom eyes were covered with a layer of drunkenness. They were small and beautiful.
“Old..” Wife?
Let’s get a divorce.
I took a breath and said it succinctly.
I married my sweetheart, but his sweetheart is not me.
Yesterday afternoon, he posted a photo of him and his white moonlight in his circle of friends. He smiled brightly and did not block me. He wrote in a generous caption, “After ten years.”.
「……」 He stared at me for a long time, his head tilted, his shirt was torn open by two buttons when he entered the door, my eyes could not help looking up, and he looked down at me.
“Leave..” From what.. Uh?
Leave the soul?
I didn’t, I.. My soul is here.. What is the wife talking about?
My three souls and six souls are all here. 「……」 “Gu An..” I gritted my teeth.
He closed his eyes and slowed down his breathing in front of me.
After a while, I slept well.
…… “Go to bed and sleep, Gu An..” I had no choice but to drag him and pull him under the bed. This time, he obediently let me lead him. His body was half pressed on me, like mud, and he wanted to stick to me. Throwing
him on the bed, I took a breath and crawled over to turn off the bedside lamp.
The room suddenly became dark.
I slept on one side of the bed, Gu An on the other side, breathing very evenly, as if ready to be buried. If you
want to divorce, there is no way to do it because of him.
I slowly planned how to open this mouth with him when Gu An was awake tomorrow, and I closed my eyes a little bit.
But suddenly, he was hugged tightly by a man.
Gu An’s body is still mixed with alcohol, but it doesn’t smell bad at all. Sometimes I feel how hopeless I am. No matter how Gu An is, I can’t think he is not good.
“Don’t divorce me. Dye..” His breath hit my neck at random, and his voice was soft, like a dream.
You see, he is so easy to crush a person’s heart, regardless.
The next day, I made breakfast, Gu An rubbed his head and came out of the bedroom, changed into clean short sleeves, and put on a big underpants.
I think I am sick, and I still think he is handsome after seeing him for so many years.
Good morning, wife.
He pulled out his chair, sat down opposite me, took the milk in front of me and drank it, next to where I had drunk it.
Gu An.
“” Hmm?
His voice ends with carelessness, and his hand is still pulling the mobile phone.
Let’s divorce.
He finally stopped pulling his cell phone.
You had an affair?
」「…… I didn’t. Do you
have someone you like?
」「…… No. You
have cancer, and you don’t want to get me into trouble, so now you’re ready to let go?
」「…… Gu An, are you sick?
I finally couldn’t help it.
Then why divorce?
He looked at me with shallow eyes and didn’t know what he was thinking.
“We’re not right for each other, and we’re not –” “Like each other.
」「……」 He pulled the corners of his mouth and made a sound, so that he laughed first. Only
children talk about liking.
Whatever you say.
I simply followed his example and leaned back with my pocket in my pocket, which made me look a little more imposing. Does your mother know that
you want to divorce me?
My mother really didn’t know. Gu An and I were well-matched, and the family had a little money. My mother had always liked him since he was a child. If
I tell my mother that I want a divorce, she has to break my skull and ask me what I’m thinking. Let’s discuss
the matter later, shall we?
While I was thinking, Gu An cut the Gordian knot.
I’m going to be late for work. Go and change. When
he left, he did not forget to break my face and leave a kiss on the corner of my mouth.
When Gu An left, I collapsed in my chair and clicked on the circle of friends again. The circle of friends on
his finger was sent by him yesterday afternoon.
It’s at the gate of their company. There are two people in the picture. In fact, they are not close to each other, but they match each other when they smile. Instead of blocking me,
he generously wrote in the caption, “After ten years.”.
Bai Suyi is back.
Still very beautiful, very strong, as if the poor confidence I had built up through the screen could be shattered by her.
High school is the last time I want to remember. At that time,
I was not as thin as I am now. In fact, I was not fat, but I was very strong, because my mother always liked to feed me. What I lacked most in my bag was snacks. I have been a person who doesn’t like to talk very much
since I was a child. In fact, I am not very good at intersection now. I don’t like to go to the bar to dance, which is also laughed at by Gu An. Gu An and
I are not from the same world. He
has been playing since he was a child. He likes to play everywhere. He has a lot of good brothers. He has changed his girlfriend frequently since junior high school.
And I, junior high school is fine, quietly a person playing with the day, high school I met Bai Suyi.
I was isolated by her and her group.
In fact, I am used to being alone, but I can’t stand them pulling others to chew my tongue, scolding me for being strong, scolding me for being ugly, and publicizing that I like Gu An everywhere.
Yes, I like Gu An.
Who doesn’t like a boy who smiles, speaks well and has a good personality, and you can see him every day.
But like Gu An, that is humble me, cowardly me, has been carefully hiding the secret ah.
Thanks to Bai Suyi and her small group, I like Gu An, which has become a joke that almost everyone in my high school knows.
I remember that when Gu An first heard about it, he was still laughing carelessly.
Holy shit, you like me? I’m
scared. I’m scared.
He is the man who, without a care in the world, shatters my poor pride.
Oh, and Gu An and Bai Suyi are together.
Bai Suyi is the one he has been talking with for the longest time among his girlfriends. I know he is really moved.
I should be tempted, too.
Bai Suyi good-looking, but also the president of the student union, she and Gu An should be the same kind of people, publicity, even bullying people are so clear.
Bai Suyi and her followers gave me nicknames, took the lead in isolating me, told the teacher that I brought a cheat sheet in class, and threw my books down from the window.
Just because I didn’t fit in with her, she said frankly that she hated me.
I was bullied by them, hiding in the classroom crying, and was caught by Gu An who came to find Bai Suyi.
don’t cry. Who bullied you? I’ll take you for revenge?
He was half crouching next to me, and his tone was half true. I must have cried so ugly at that time. At that time, little girls were very concerned about their image in front of the people they liked. I
hate that I can’t show myself well in front of Gu An.
At that age, the beginning of love, like the person seems to be everything, Gu An for me is arsenic is also honey.
He knows. He knows who’s bullying me.
He still stood by and made sarcastic remarks.
Because Gu An and Bai Suyi are the same kind of people, the same publicity, the same bad, stand together forever so match.
But then they broke up.
I think I was at least a little excited when I heard the news of their breakup.
But I saw Gu An’s dark face in those days.
He was very concerned, very concerned about Bai Suyi, he would not have this expression before breaking up, but he was very fierce in those days, with a straight face and heavy eyes all day long.
Even though Gu An and I have been married for so many years, we have never seen his expression again.
One day I was left alone on duty. When I
finished, the sun had completely set over the horizon. When I came out of the classroom, I saw Gu An smoking alone on the railing of the corridor.
He was a tall man, leaning there lazily, half of his face hidden in the smoke, and his eyes did not know where to look. You can tell
at a glance that there are several cigarettes. Smoke
less.
I walked over to him.
He lowered his eyes to look at me and squeezed a voice out of his throat.
You broke up?
He raised his eyebrows, put out his cigarette, looked at me for a long time, and opened his mouth.
Yes.
The voice is a little hoarse.
It’s hard?
“” Not bad.
」「……」 And then we stopped talking. When he
reached the top of the stairs, Gu An stopped.
He tilted his head to look at me, and I suddenly had a bad feeling.
Have some fun?
」「……」 All right.
At least if that makes you happy … The game is rock-paper-scissors, and the loser carries the winner home.
Very speechless, right? But when I really want to carry Gu An on my back, I am not only speechless.
Rock, paper, scissors, two wins in three games, and Gu An won a great victory.
To tell you the truth, a big boy who is more than 1.8 meters tall is really hard to carry.
The key is that the man on my back is still restless, and his fingers are on the tip of my ears, and the voice is really funny.
Lin Ran, you are really awesome.
He had no intention of letting me go, and at that time I could not say why I really carried him all the way down. He hummed softly on my back as
I trudged along. When I
got to the door, I was so tired that I kept panting.
He jumped down from me, looked down at me, and did not speak, which was in sharp contrast to my embarrassment.
After a while, he finally spoke and called my name quite normally.
Lin Ran.
“” Well.. Uh?
If you can lose ninety pounds, I’ll let you be my girlfriend. How much influence did
Gu An’s words have on me at that time.
At least it is very deep and engraved in my heart.
I began to lose weight, first bought diet pills, eating for several weeks, but the effect is too weak; I looked for a variety of weight loss methods on the Internet, each kind of practice again.
In fact, I am a person who has no patience, and this time I insisted on jumping upstairs for several months.
When I was running round and round downstairs, I didn’t even know what the point of doing it was.
It originated from a joke that Gu An may have told me casually.
I ran out of breath against the setting sun.
At the beginning of the diet, it was very painful. My mother’s cooking was delicious and delicious. Sometimes I could cry in the quilt because of hunger.
At that time, I didn’t know anything. I followed some methods on the Internet blindly. I was too anxious. Sometimes I only drank water or ate eggs every day. I insisted on so much exercise that I finally made myself to the hospital.
I have been suffering from stomach trouble until now, and it was at that time.
But so toss and turn, the result is that I finally reduced from a big fat man of 160 jins to a thin man of 90 jins.
And one thing I don’t want to admit is that even if I lose weight, I don’t look as good as Bai Suyi. It
even seems that no one has noticed my change.
Not even Gu An. Why did you
call me out, huh?
He looked at me in his pocket without a serious look. It had been more than three months since he broke up, but he seemed to be back to normal.
But for three months, he didn’t have a girlfriend again.
Do you see any change in me?
」「…… As though Slim?
He tilted his head and looked at me.
「…… Do you remember you.. I can’t say the following words.
He clearly doesn’t remember.
I think at that time, I almost had to cry.
I remember now.
But then he suddenly put his hand on the top of my head and rubbed it twice.
I told you to be my girlfriend? When
he looked at me, I could never deny that his eyes were filled with the Milky Way, and when he laughed, he could open a pool of tiny stars. Give me
a lot of advice, girlfriend. In
this way, I was with Gu An.
Gu An took me to meet his brother, to drink, to go to the bar to dance, that is the world I have never touched.
Frequent flashing lights shone on the people around me, restless drums beat my eardrums, Gu An bowed his head and spoke in my ear.
Do you like it?
I don’t like it.
That is Gu An’s world, noisy, flamboyant, restless and restless.
He took my hand and pulled me out of the noisy room.
I watched him bow his head and light a cigarette, his eyes drooping, reflecting the magnificent street lights of the city.
Draw a good outline of him.
Why don’t you go in?
I asked him.
He looked at me with a cigarette in his mouth, and the sparks were bright and dark.
Are you used to jumping, huh?
“I’m used to jumping. Not only am I used to jumping, but I also..” On that day, the city was still noisy and the street lights were shining. I grabbed Gu An’s cigarette and took a puff. The white smoke sprayed on my face. Half of
his face was suddenly indistinct, and in his eyes were the magnificent lights of thousands of families.
I want to divorce Gu An. After work in the
afternoon, I estimated that Gu An would not go home for dinner tonight, so I simply made an appointment with a friend.
Suki is a law student at my college, and I want her to help me draft the divorce papers.
Divorce?
So suddenly?
I remember your husband is very nice.
」「……」 He’s a good fart.
」「……」 So.. Did you have a fight?
But I thought about it, for so many years, I really haven’t quarreled with Gu An.
Eat, work, sleep, play the role of a model couple in the eyes of others, but I can’t say how close I am to Gu An.
But there is a balance that has kept us together for so many years.
Until Bai Suyi appeared.
In fact, our problems have always been there.
I flicked the wall of the shingle, and it made a clear sound.
But I hid it.
Come on, go drink with me.
At that time, my brain was so hot that I grabbed Suki’s hand. Before
that, the number of times I went to the bar was very small, and even I didn’t think that I would get drunk in the bar.
Because drinking can drown your sorrows.
“Oh, Ran Ran, drink less.”.
Don’t, don’t, you won’t feel well tomorrow if you drink so much. Why aren’t
you obedient? If you drink again, I’ll call your husband.
“” Find! You go to find it! He must be drinking too! If he can come, I’ll take your last name. I don’t know how many drinks I’ve had, and the shadows have turned into several, and the lights are dazzling, but the alcohol really paralyzes people’s nerves.
I take your last name, I meow, I meow.. Yes, it’s Su Ran. Well, Su Ran, I’m Su Ran. Su Ran is also very nice. The voice on the
other side suddenly changed. I looked up, but I couldn’t see it clearly. I could only see a white corner of my clothes. I grabbed his arm and frowned. Who
are you?
“” Your husband.
He approached me and cut my messy hair to my ear. His eyes were so dark that he couldn’t see any emotion.
Your husband who must be ***ing drinking, too.
」「……」 He sat beside me, took the wine from my hand, shook it, and looked at me with his chin propped up.
Tell me, why did you divorce me?
Because you’re an asshole.
He raised an eyebrow.
This alcohol is really bad.
I looked at his face. His eyebrows were still gentle, against the starlight of the bar. It was the man I had liked for a long time. I reached out and pressed his eyebrows.
He did not move, still looking at me, my hand down the eyebrows, eyes, nose, mouth, I completely outlined his appearance.
Don’t think I don’t know, your white moonlight is back.
“” White Moonlight?
Yes, you also took pictures. Not only did you take pictures, but you also sent them to your moments. You also laughed together.
Did you say Bai Suyi?
He reacted. How did
she become my white moonlight?
“You always liked him!” 「……」 Suddenly I heard him laugh. It
‘s the kind of laughter that you can’t hold back.
He ran his hand across my cheek and squeezed my face.
Ran Ran, you’re so funny.
Then he suddenly pulled me into his arms, pressed my head, and whispered in my ear, especially when he was drunk.
His chest was warm, and my brain, which was already paralyzed by alcohol, crashed even more. After a while, I remembered that I couldn’t be held by the dog man in front of me all the time.
“Gu An, you let go of me, I want to divorce you!” Come on, I won’t have any contact with Pai Su-yi, okay?
」「……」 “No!” “I’m going to leave..” “Because this is actually not Bai Suyi’s problem.” I lowered my head, but the words behind me could not be said. He looked at me for a long time and did not respond. He approached me, but suddenly saw my tears falling down.
You’re crying.. Dye?
He pinched my chin, raised my head, and casually wiped the tears from my cheeks with his fingers. As a result, I cried more and more, and he was completely panicked.
“Don’t cry, don’t cry, I was wrong..” I was wrong. Don’t cry, okay, Ran Ran? I don
‘t think I’ve ever seen Gu An like this.
Squatting in front of me, a little flustered, light and shadow staggered, clearly and secretly always make me unreal.
Dye Dye, stop drinking, let’s go home.
He turned and put me on his back. I put my arms around his neck and suddenly laughed.
Gu An, do you remember? I also carried you like this.
」「……」 I felt him beat up. Why were you so stupid
at that time? You really carried me all the way.
“” Yeah, I’m just stupid. The street lamp
in front of me was flickering with light and shadow. I looked at the curved moon on the horizon and suddenly felt very tired.
Gu An, let’s get a divorce when we get back.
“” Not good.
You don’t have a choice.
Why are you still swearing?
He turned his head slightly sideways, and the street lamp gathered around his side face. I felt that I couldn’t hate Gu An’s face.
“Do you hear me? Divorce!” I made a noise in his ear.
Do not leave.
“Why don’t you divorce me if you don’t want to? Why don’t you bully me if you want to? Why don’t you ignore me if you say you don’t want to?” I grabbed him by the back collar, and my voice became lower and lower.
In the end, I pulled him by the collar and fell asleep.
It was the summer vacation of senior three.
Gu An’s grades are actually very good, probably to the threshold of the two national first-class universities, I tried my best to chase him, but he still left more than 30 in the late third year of high school. On the day the
results were announced, he and I were admitted to the same university.
B is my first choice and his second choice.
However, his first choice, A, failed because he was two points short. I was really happy to
know that I was admitted to the same university with him.
But when I went to him with this joy, he just answered lightly.
We’ll be in the same school.
He looked down at his cell phone and made a sound in his throat.
Mmm.
Gu An?
」「……」 “Is it because I didn’t get into a University?” No.
“In fact, B is also very good, and I also..” What’s the matter with you?
It’s okay. Can you stop waving in front of me? I’m bored.
He looked up at me and frowned.
「……」 And I’m at B University, too.
I never said that again.
That summer vacation, Gu An and his brother spent two months in the Internet bar.
Later, I learned that because of Bai Suyi, Bai Suyi was admitted to a University.
You see, I actually have this weight in his heart. I don’t know if I should be glad that he didn’t go to the same school with Bai Suyi.
Between me and Bai Suyi, he will definitely choose Bai Suyi.
At that time, I clearly understood this matter. When I woke up
the next day, I had a headache that was about to explode.
Even scarier, I saw the figure sitting in front of my bed.
Gu An. You
are very capable. Do you know how many bottles of wine you drank in one night?
“” Hmm?
Lin Ran?
His coda trailed off into a nice but torturous tune.
「……」 I held the quilt, I really don’t know, but my head is really painful, vaguely to his eyes, there is a dark, I suddenly realized that he is real.
「……」 Don’t talk?
Gu An, you can’t control me.
“” I don’t care about you?
He was almost angry with me and laughed. I’m your husband and I don’t care?
“” It’s not going to be.
I looked hard at him, as if the momentum could be higher.
All right, let’s not talk about this. Ran Ran, the first time you go to a bar, do you know how much you can drink?
」「……」 It’s really my fault.
If it wasn’t for Gu An and Su Qi, I can’t imagine what would happen if I got drunk. Not
next time, okay?
“Dye..” He suddenly leaned close to me, rarely slowing down the tone of voice, a little depressed, and rubbing the tenderness that could not be opened.
I think I can’t bear to live without you.
」「……」 I knew it. Divorce is not so easy.
Lin Ran, you are soft-hearted, obviously made a decision, but he stirred up a mess.
I clung to my desk and rubbed my head unhappily.
At that moment, my cell phone rang. A
strange number. I’ve never seen it before.
I answered a little perfunctorily, and even distracted myself to guess whether the call was for me to buy a house or for me to sign up for classes, but the female voice on the opposite side made me almost loose my phone.
Yes, after so many years, Lin Ran, you are still afraid to hear her voice.
This call is from Bai Suyi.
Lin Ran, long time no see. The female voice on the other side of the
phone was always haughty, but I couldn’t help pinching my cell phone.
「…… What’s up?
We old classmates from high school are going to get together at the Wanting Hotel on Saturday. Will you join us?
“” No.
“” Oh?
Is it?
Gu An promised me last time that he would come.
」「……」 I just heard that you and Gu An got married.
」「……」 I hung up the phone.
Just hang up, because I really don’t want to hear the rest.
I dialed Gu An’s phone.
Hello, wife?
He took it quickly.
Ku An, come to the Civil Affairs Bureau.
」「……」 We are divorced.
What’s the matter, wife?
Gu An, don’t mess with me any more. Let’s make it clear. Is it so hard to get divorced?
」「……」 There was a silence on the other side of the phone.
His voice fell suddenly.
All right, wife, then wait for me in the flower bed at the gate of the Civil Affairs Bureau.
」「……」 The government moved to the new district. Although the flower beds next to the Civil Affairs Bureau were well greened, there were really no people. I waited for a quarter of an hour before Gu An came.
He drove a car. It was the first car after we got married. We both agreed that we could not take money from our family even if we had money. Gu An was not a director at that time, and I was only a trainee teacher. When I bought my first car, I really felt happy.
But then there was a second car and a third car, but there was no excitement about how long it would take to buy a car when two people crowded on the sofa.
He was still wearing a suit, his tie was crooked, he ran towards me when he saw me, and his hair was a little messy.
“I just had a meeting, my wife..” All right, let’s go.
I really don’t like his tie, so I’ll straighten it and move on.
But he didn’t move behind me.
Wife, can’t we sum up any more?
」「…… Gu An.
I know, and then I thought about it, and I was enough. Bastard, I can’t go back to the past, if I can really go back.. You know, I really want to go back and beat me up at that time.
」「……」 Gu An, it’s no fun to say this. I’m going to say it. I don’t want to forgive you.
」「……」 He was silent for a while. Can’t
we really go back? I can’t go back
early.
“” Yes, is that so.
He looked up at me. His eyes were clear and shallow, quiet but sentimentally attached. My heart was still pulled down uncontrollably. Oh, Lin Ran, you are soft-hearted again.
But the next second, he suddenly hugged me tightly.
It should be said that he ran away with me. What
are you doing! Gu An! Put me down! I began to struggle, and he put one hand around my waist and squeezed it.
Don’t move.
I knew, this dog man, if he can’t be soft, he will be tough. Do
you believe I screamed?
Go ahead. There shouldn’t be anyone here anyway. I’ll be out of luck if someone finds out.
“Gu An!!!” At one go, he got into the car, closed the door, and pressed me into the back seat.
He did not forget to cut my hair for me.
Wife, be good and calm down for a while.
」「…… Just stir it up, Gu An.
“” Angry?
When he leaned close to me, his peach blossom eyes were clear and shallow, and when he smiled a little, ripples rippled on the ground.
Gu An, do you remember the day I first asked you for a divorce? But
I didn’t want to laugh at all.
Hmm?
It was the fourth night in a row that you came home after twelve o’clock.
」「……」 I know, I know you’re busy with your work. Yes, it’s just a little thing between husband and wife. I used to think I could endure it, but later I found out I really couldn’t go on. Tell me
every night that you want to socialize. Yes, you socialize. What’s the difference between me facing a table every night and being divorced?
“Ran Ran, you listen to me..” You and Pai Su-yi took photos together and posted them on Moments. I admit I’m jealous. After all, look, have you ever had me in your Moments?
I stirred the collar of his shirt and realized that I had cried out first.
Lin Ran, you don’t live up to your reputation.
“Ran Ran, don’t cry, will you? Listen to me..” “Haven’t I been living like a transparent person these past few years?” Have you really noticed me, Gu An?
Or because I am too good, I like you too much, do you think you can do anything to me?
You don’t know I have stomach trouble, do you? You also don’t know that I have had stomach trouble and went to the hospital several times in the past few years since we got married.
I registered it by myself.
You never said you would take me out to play. It’s good to go anywhere, amusement park, mountain climbing, seaside. Can’t you take me there once? We’ve been married for five years. You’ve been working all the time. Yeah, now you’re really awesome. You’re sitting in the position of director. You can finally talk about cooperation with your ex-girlfriend? You were very happy to
see Bai Suyi, weren’t you, Gu An? After all, I haven’t seen her for ten years. Why didn’t you make an appointment to the hotel that night?
“Lin Ran!” I stared at him, not knowing what kind of fierce expression I used, and his tone immediately softened.
“It’s not what you think. Dye..” “You asked me if I could go back. Yes, I’ll give you a chance to go to your ex-girlfriend. If you don’t agree to the reunion, you can go to her!” The last sentence, I shouted out.
「……」 He lowered his eyes and did not speak.
Gu An, if you were a man, you’d get a clean divorce. Can
I say I’m not a man.
He looked up at me. His eyes were foggy and he couldn’t see anything clearly.
“Gu An!” I don’t have my ID with me.
」「……」 When he said this, he didn’t look at me, but he still didn’t mean to let me go.
Okay, you’re really good.
I struggled to get away from him, and he was probably afraid that I would get hurt if he pressed me again, so he let go.
I got out of the car and slammed the door. My divorce indictment will be sent to your mailbox
on Monday. I couldn’t go back to
Gu An’s home, so I simply packed up my things and went back to my mother’s home. When
my mother saw me, she really didn’t have the joy of not seeing me for a long time.
Did you quarrel with Koo An? It’s
not a fight, it’s a divorce.
She was still washing the dishes, and when she heard this, she came out of the kitchen wiping her hands with a puzzled look on her face. What did
he do to you?
“” Nothing much.
“” Did not say how to divorce?
Hey, no, family guy let you *** around?
“Why are you fooling around? Why are you fooling around?” When it comes to my mother, I really can’t hold back my tears. As soon as
she saw me crying, she probably realized that I was serious and rushed over to pat me on the back.
No, no, no, don’t cry. How old are you?
“Are you my real mother?” Did the Gu family boy really bully you?
She looked at me suspiciously and spoke cautiously.
That boy won’t look for a woman outside?
」「……」 I was silent.
‘Hey! Is there really?
I saw that she had the posture of turning back to the kitchen to get a knife, so I quickly pulled her.
Don’t get involved. Let me be quiet. This is my own business.
I lay on the bed in my room. After
so many years, my mother still left a room for me. She said that if I had no place to go one day, I could still have a place to go back.
I stared at the ceiling and suddenly felt very tired. Downstairs in the
old city is still bustling, but the noise of children after school, the crisp sound of bicycle bells along the way, and the hawkers downstairs shouting and selling seem to stretch the time.
I told my mother not to get involved, and she really obediently went downstairs to dance with other aunts. She didn’t care if her daughter was hurt in love and had to divorce immediately.
I had nothing to do with staying at home alone, but unfortunately, my stomach began to ache.
At first, it was just a little painful. After all, I was an old hand at stomach trouble. I pulled some medicine in my mother’s medicine cabinet, poured some hot water and lay flat on the bed.
But later, it got more and more painful.
This situation has never happened before, that is, I can’t walk directly because of the pain. In my impression, even the stomach trouble I got when I lost weight in high school didn’t hurt like this.
I wanted to call my mother, but as soon as I touched the phone, I was thrown under the bed. I had to kneel on the ground with my stomach covered. I really had no energy to think except for the pain. I clicked on the address book at random, and the first contact was Gu An.
…… Gu An’s initials are actually in the back, but once he took my mobile phone and added an a before his name in the address book.
I sighed and suddenly thought it was Saturday.
Did Gu An go to the classmate party? When the
phone was connected, it rang twice, and he answered it quickly.
Hello, Dye Dye? There was a lot of noise on the other side of the
phone, mixed with the noise of men and women, the clatter of beer bottles, and I heard someone calling his name through the microphone to my ears.
Lin Ran, how can you hear so clearly.
Finally, I didn’t speak and hung up the phone. When the
phone slipped out of my hand, I thought of two things.
The first thing is how my stomach can hurt so much.
The second thing is how to leave Gu An cleanly.
…… Ran Ran, don’t sleep. What’s wrong with you?
I felt someone shake me. I narrowed my eyes a little. I couldn’t see anything clearly.
He held me in his arms and pinched the back of my neck, but I still had a stomachache and answered softly.
Can you get down on your stomach?
He turned his back to me.
I got on my stomach, and then he carried me on his back and went downstairs. The wind on the side of the
street blew, I shrank, the lights flickered, and I could only see his short hair.
Gu An?
“” Mmm. How do
you know where I am? Aren’t there only a few places
you can go? When you were a child, you only liked to hide in your room and cry when you were wronged.
」「……」 I really regret it, Gu An.
I really regret it too, Lin Ran.
You say, if I had found out earlier that I liked you, wouldn’t there be so many things? Only
children talk about liking.
He laughed twice and weighed me.
I really hold a grudge.
“Gu An..” Hmm?
Don’t play dumb. You know I don’t like Bai Suyi. Why did you go to her class reunion?
He was silent.
The street lamp was stretched long, and in fact, I knew he couldn’t answer.
I was awakened by the sound of the crowd running by.
I leaned against the corridor of the hospital, with a needle in the back of my hand, and the liquid medicine dripped down from the transfusion bottle.
Gu An is sitting beside me.
Lin Ran, I’m an asshole.
He suddenly said something like this without thinking.
「……」 It’s really useless to say that at a time like this. Gu An, you still have to divorce.
He smiled. How afraid are
you that I won’t be able to divorce you, Ran Ran?
」「……」 I was silent.
He also did not speak, we looked at the hospital corridor together, the crowd moved, but gradually surrounded us.
Pai Su-yi came to talk to us on behalf of their company. It was a pretty big project.
He suddenly spoke in a very low voice.
Ran Ran, I admit, I’m too worldly.
Posting in Moments and going to parties are all my ways to win her over.
This project has been under discussion for a long time, and my father’s other’good son ‘is also staring at their company, so I have to find a way to get closer to her. I didn’t mean anything else in
that circle of friends. I mainly wanted the rival company to see that I had an old relationship with the person in charge of this project. So is the
party. I went to her party and drank her wine, so she had to relax a little bit about cooperation.
I admit.. I didn’t like you in high school.
But when I was with you, I found that I really liked you, more than I thought, and I couldn’t control myself and never wanted to leave you again.
I’ve always been used to the fact that you’re very good. You don’t make trouble, you don’t quarrel, and you don’t get angry with me. Later I learned that you’ve been putting up with me.
I can’t ask you to come back now, can I? Can
you wait for me, wait for me to climb up step by step, wait for me not to greet people with a smile all the time, not to be attached to the wine table, wait for me to sit in the position that everyone looks up to, I will marry you again, OK?
He looked at me quietly, with a desperate and quiet look in his eyes.
「……」 That’s very bright, Gu An. After all, you chose your career between your career and me, didn’t you?
He looked at me for a long time.
His eyes were beautiful, and there used to be a certain tenderness that could not be explained, but now he could not see anything in his eyes, and they were foggy and grey with a dead heart.
He suddenly raised his hand to the back of my head and kissed me.
It was a deep, but quick kiss.
He attacked the city, but when I reacted, he withdrew.
He lifted my chin and kissed the corner of my mouth again.
“Gu An!” This time I pushed him away.
Yes.
His eyelids drooped, and the wind blew through the corridor, and his voice was faint, as if it were going to be quickly dispersed in the wind.
I chose a career.
“” Well, it looks like the divorce is finally settled.
I nodded, in fact, I now have the impulse to pull out the needle and leave here immediately.
But one thing, Gu An, I won’t wait for you, I won’t wait for you anymore.
Change of perspective ~ General Manager Bai, happy cooperation. At the entrance of
the Xiting Hotel, every time a table of people left at this point, they were dressed in suits and leather shoes, more or less smelling of alcohol. Director
Ku, why don’t you forget to cooperate after drinking like this?
A middle-aged man carried another young man with his eyelashes hanging down and a faint smile on his lips. I
can’t forget that. Uncle Li, I thank you too. If it weren’t for you, we wouldn’t be able to talk about cooperation. Well, if I didn’t have a glass, I’d like to drink to you again! Gu An narrowed his eyes, and he did not know how to control his facial muscles, trying to make himself smile better.
Come on, what are you going to do? What about the
taxi? What is
your home address?
The middle-aged man asked Gu An again, and as he spoke, he called for a taxi.
“Home..” Gu An’s voice suddenly dropped. When the
middle-aged man looked at him like this, he could only see that he was curled up and the corners of his mouth were curled down. Where
do you live? I’m calling for a car for you. How can
I go back first? Uncle Li, please sit down first. My home is not far away, so I can walk back.
But the next second he had a smile on his face again, and obviously mixed with the smell of alcohol, he remembered to block his head when he put Uncle Li into the taxi.
The middle-aged man couldn’t help thinking that this young man was too tired to live.
I can’t help pulling. Where is
your home? Let’s go together on the way.
“Harm, really not..” It’s all right, Director Gu. Why don’t you let my driver take you.
A female voice came straight in.
Bai Suyi wore a slim hip dress today, showing her figure incisively and vividly, slightly bent over, with a few strands of hair hanging down.
She always knows how to show her most beautiful place to men.
Gu An narrowed his eyes.
“Oh, that’s a good feeling. I’ll go first.”.
The middle-aged man reacted first, smiled, and snapped into the car door. When the
taxi left, he suddenly felt a pain in his neck from the winter wind.
Gu An, are you drunk or not?
Bai Suyi opened her mouth beside her, like a cut in the cold night.
“Hey.”.
I’m not drunk. It’s only a few cups. How can I be drunk.
Then go, get in the car with me, and I’ll take you back.
No, General Manager Bai, how dare I let you see me off in person? I’ll just go by myself. If you take care of me and cooperate, it will be all right. “
Gu An, can you not always say such hypocritical words to me?” Bai Suyi suddenly raised the tone, two people standing in the street, Gu An lowered his head, can not see what expression.
I know you divorced Lin Ran, and she doesn’t deserve you at all, and I don’t think you can’t see that I’m interested in you.
We are not married now. If you have my family’s property, you know how easy it is for you to bring down your brother. General
Manager Bai has a very thorough and comprehensive understanding. The tone of
Gu An’s voice did not fluctuate. It was hidden in the night, so that he could not see clearly.
Don’t call me in vain, you can call me.. Suyi.
Bai Suyi stepped forward and ran her white fingers across Gu An’s collar. Gu An did not move. She lowered her eyes and did not know what she was thinking.
The atmosphere was a little restless, Bai Suyi was a little bolder, stood on tiptoe, and the distance between them gradually drew a little closer.
Gu An pushed her away. She was
a little strong, and she was pushed and staggered.
No, General Manager Bai, I’m going to spit out all the wine I just drank tonight.
In fact, because of the alcohol, Gu An’s brain was a little slow, and when Bai Suyi leaned over, he suddenly thought of another person.
Lin Ran never asked him for a kiss.
He felt that now he would be mad to think of her anywhere.
“Gu An!” Bai Suyi called him a little bitterly. Where am
I not as good as Lin Ran? When we were in
high school, we were so good! High school.. After all these years, who remembers. What
he thought she remembered was the outline of the sunset over the mountain one day, and a man carried him from school to the door of his house.
He was almost distressed to death.
Bai Suyi, do you still remember what we did to Lin Ran in high school? Now there is a word called campus violence.
He habitually took a cigarette out of his pocket and suddenly realized that he had to quit smoking for some time, probably with.. After Lin Ran got married. She frowned
, but she began to appear in a trance in her mind.
I don’t know if you regret.. Anyway, I regret it now. I
regret it to death. With his coat in his pocket,
he glanced at Bai Suyi, who was a little cold, and saw that Bai Suyi took a step back subconsciously.
Gu An walked into the night without looking back.
After twelve o’clock in the evening, there were no people on the street, the doors of the shops were closed, and sometimes the lights of the cars were connected into a snow-white line.
Gu An walked without a ride.
He wondered aimlessly what Lin Ran was doing. No matter how late he came home before, she seemed to be waiting for him. When
she fell asleep, she left a light for him at the head of the bed. What
about now? Will she go to bed early now? Anyway, he misses her every night and can’t sleep.
Habit is a terrible thing. When
he passed a jewelry store, he glanced at the window and suddenly stopped.
The shop was closed, but the light in the window was still on.
He has always felt that although this kind of thing is good-looking, but good-looking are the same, female colleagues in the company sometimes wear, anyway, he can not see the difference between wearing and not wearing.
He remembered to pick out the wedding dress when he married Lin Ran. He sat on the sofa outside and watched her try to get out of the wedding dress. When
her hair was up, her neck was white and long, and the clerk asked if she wanted to customize a set of jewelry.
He forgot his answer at that time.
Probably did not care about it, and then Lin Ran did not ask for it.
But did she want it at that time? He frowned. The question suddenly troubled him too much. She was expecting him to give her a set of things that belonged to her at that time.
But he didn’t care at that time. He really didn’t care.
He suddenly took out his cell phone and dialed her phone.
The phone was hung up, and a series of busy signals broke his heart bit by bit.
Dye.
He held his cell phone in his hand, and his voice was almost scattered in the wind. He knew that the person opposite had already hung up the phone, but he still said regardless.
I saw a shop selling jewelry, and I think there is a necklace that suits you very well. The other end of the
phone was still beeping, and he felt that his brain had been confused by alcohol.
You come back, dye dye, come back, OK?
But there was no one to listen to him, only the whistling of the wind. Gu An twisted his eyebrows and called her name again and again.
But the night was soaked, and the man he called would never come back.
Three years later.
Soon is the graduation season, Lin Ran just promoted to his former alma mater as a university teacher, this will be too happy, things one after another.
What’s the matter? You don’t have much energy these days? My colleague Xiao Li sat beside her when she was eating in the canteen
at noon. What
else?
Students are not satisfied with their final grades. They come to my office and beg me. They say they don’t want to retake the exam. I didn’t say that I really passed the exam.
Harm, this thing, ah, is like this every year. If you don’t come to
class, you won’t listen to what I tell you to learn. I’m going to retake the exam, and I’m begging the teacher here again. It’s early to go, isn’t it, Teacher Lin?
」「……」 Lin Ran next to him did not respond, as if he had lost his soul. Teacher
Lin?
Xiao Li followed her gaze and was looking at the group of school leaders who came over at an unknown time. At this point, they were all big shots with heads and faces in the courtyard, surrounded by a man in the middle.
Wearing a windbreaker, with his hands in his pockets, his expression was clear and light, and he did not know if he had listened to the smiling words of the old men in their forties and fifties.
“Who is this?” She suddenly remembered. The CEO of
something else is invited to give an honorary alumni speech today.
Tut-tut, why are you so handsome? Have you seen it? I’ve never seen the Dean and his gang so respectful. His name is Gu.. What are you talking about.. Gu An.
Next to him, Lin Ran answered softly.
“Ah, right, right, right..” Lin Ran has buried himself in continuing to eat, but this time, the speed is not only fast, how can not raise his head.
Xiao Li saw with her own eyes that the dishes on her plate were decreasing at a speed visible to the naked eye. She got up, cleared the table, and threw away the tableware at one go.
I have classes in the afternoon. I’ll go first.
It’s like hiding from the plague.
Lin Ran didn’t expect to meet Gu An here. After her divorce
from Gu An, she threw herself into her work.
Later, she had a chance to go back to her alma mater to be a university teacher. She thought they would part ways from then on, but she didn’t expect to see him again.
How to say, it looks a little strange from such a distance.
Because she remembered that Gu An used to like to laugh.
But now look, Gu An droops his eyes, carelessly, let a person elusive.
To be honest, in recent years, the number of times to see Gu An on TV has also increased.
Most of the time it was Lin’s mother who called her to see it, and at the same time she said that if she didn’t divorce, she would be a rich wife now. Lin Ran has no feelings
about this.
She suddenly felt that anyone could change, but Gu An could not.
“Teacher Kobayashi, I was just looking for you!” Someone called her and pulled her away from her thoughts. Teacher Wu, who
teaches physics, is a person with a sunny smile. Like her, she became a university teacher at a young age, so she has a lot to talk about. The double degree doctor that
home 985 reads, have a house, just bought an SUV, the key is, he is interested to her.
Very good conditions.
She did not know when she began to look at people in this way.
Perhaps the old mother urged her to get married every day, saying that it was even more difficult for a divorced woman to get married, and she was asked to go on a blind date every day.
But she really doesn’t feel it.
To the man in front of her, too, she had to smile and stop to signal what he would say next. Didn’t
I go to the Huaijiang River to investigate? Here, this is a local specialty there, and I brought you one.
It’s a delicate little bag. It’s antique. It should be very popular with women.
Thank you.
Lin Ran still accepted it, wondering when to return the gift in a different way.
In fact, Xiao Wu is much more considerate than someone in the past.
Gu An once went on a business trip, not knowing whether he had a conscience or a brain, he really brought her back a dream catcher.
She had been hanging the dream catcher carefully, watching the feathers dangling from it, sighing, wondering when he would be able to come home early.
The dream catcher did not know where to go now, Gu An left the house to her, but she was so angry at that time that she threw a lot of things away. Thinking
so, she was distracted again, and Xiao Wu called her name several times before calling her back.
Teacher Kobayashi, I’m free in the evening. Would you like to have a meal together?
」「……」 Lin ran a little trance, is thinking of personal love, just ready to promise, her line of sight over the shoulder of Xiao Wu, to see a figure.
Gu An looked at them in the opposite corridor. He should have come out to smoke. His windbreaker was long and slender, with a cigarette in his mouth. Half of his face was hidden in the smoke, hazy. When did
he start smoking again?
Teacher Kobayashi? I
‘m sorry. I have something to do tonight. Let’s make an appointment another day.
She didn’t know what she was panicking about, and when she reacted, she had already walked a long way with her bag, leaving only her thoughts disturbed for a moment, and the eyes of Gu An looking from a distance.
This is too disappointing.
She laughed at herself.
Halfway through, the phone remembered again. Teacher
Lin, don’t you have any classes in the afternoon?
It was Xiao Li who had just had dinner with her. What’s
the matter? There was a fight between two boys in
our class. The fight was very fierce. I’m in a hurry to deal with it now. I’m going to help with the work there. Can you take me over?
」「……」 Is Gu An here to make a speech at the invitation of the Association today?
What broken fate. When
Lin Ran arrived at the venue, the workers were repairing the big searchlight on the stage. Fortunately, her task was only to follow up the progress. She did not need to communicate with the speaker, so she found a seat and sat down beside her.
Teacher Kobayashi, you’re here, too.
A girl sat beside her and accosted her.
This girl should be the vice president of the employment association in her class. She has a very attractive baby face and is not afraid of strangers. She can chat with professors in their forties and fifties, let alone with her.
Mmm.
I heard that senior Gu was in the 20th class. Is Mr. Kobayashi the same?
」「…… Yes.
“” Wow, do you know Senior Gu? What was he like
at that time?
The girl looked at her with her chin propped up, and her eyebrows and eyes were curved when she smiled.
I don’t know.
“” No.. I do not know? It’s
been so many years.
Seeing that she really had no interest in chatting, the girl got up and said goodbye to her. She was also bored, and after a few rounds, people came one after another. It seemed that
the searchlight had not been repaired yet, but the activity was about to begin, and the workers had to remove the ladder.
She looked up at the searchlight overhead, and it seemed that there was nothing wrong with it.
Then Gu An also came and handed over to the host. She looked at her from a distance, as if she really had nothing to do with it. When
Gu An came to the stage, she suddenly found that he was really different.
Almost not what she remembered, he was capable and natural on the stage, gentle and alienated, completely had a kind of feeling that people could not touch.
She took a breath and listened to his speech quietly. At the
end, the applause could not be settled for a long time.
He suddenly turned his head to look at her.
Their eyes touched lightly in the air.
Those eyes are very beautiful ah, once she lost a whole youth, how she can not catch up with the delusion, she scattered a handful of ashes. When the
light fell between them, the dust flew.
His eyes suddenly trembled.
Then she suddenly saw him become alarmed for a moment.
He lunged at her.
That’s probably a very long few seconds of her life. The glare of
the searchlights, the screams of the people, and him rushing to hold her tight.
For a moment, her mind went blank.
There was a loud bang, which carried her eardrums.
The searchlight came down.
When she felt the sticky touch in her hands or something, she suddenly felt that it was all a dream.
Gu An’s body was covered with blood.
She did not know where so much blood, slowly, slowly stained her eyes, she suddenly found herself unable to make a sound, the crowd ran, someone shouted to dial 120, someone came to pull her, she found herself tightly pulling Gu An’s sleeve.
He lay on the ground, his eyes closed, quietly, and blood spread all over his body.
She was pulled, her temples were throbbing, she couldn’t say anything, she couldn’t even stand, and after a long time, she asked herself word by word. What’s
going on? How
long has it been since then? After
receiving the invitation to speak, Gu An frowned and thought. There has been no one in
his world for a long time.
He locked himself in his work, sometimes even sleeping in the office for days. It seemed that there was no difference between going home and not going home. In the first few days, he drank several cases of beer and was finally taken to the hospital for alcohol poisoning.
I finally knew how painful she was at that time. The
friend shook him and did not forget to complain a few words when he sent him the test sheet. Are
you sick?
」「……」 Gu An lay, looking at the bright lights hanging from the ceiling of the hospital, thinking that he was really over.
Later, he got up slowly.
He had come a long way to realize that his skin was not thick enough, and one day he finally got down on his knees and abandoned something that he had once thought important, and he began to be infected with more and more dark sides, bound by the darkness that came up.
He gradually realized that some dirty tricks were ten thousand times better than those on the surface. He began to use everything around him. Suddenly, he found that he was dark in his bones. That’s why he was so good at doing those things. Finally, one day, the man he had knelt down crawled at his feet.
He can afford to live in a villa alone now, but one day he always suddenly remembered that he once had a house with two bedrooms and one living room in the Third Ring Road of the city. A person would cook for him and wait for him to come home. He could wear underpants and loose short sleeves in the morning and rub his hair to say good morning to that person, wife.
…… He always bought things for her intentionally or unintentionally, knowing that they had divorced long ago.
He left her a room full of things he had bought for her, ranging from slippers and bear dolls to necklaces bought at auction. Sometimes he leaned on the door frame and left with his head down and a bitter smile.
From the moment he fell into the darkness, he knew he didn’t deserve her.
Later, he went to their school to give a speech.
He admitted that he just wanted to see her, uncontrollably, to see how she was doing and how she was doing, and then she saw someone stop her and give her a gift.
It was a very honest person, silly, should not bully her, and when she accepted the gift, just a slight smile, he almost did not hold the cigarette.
I miss you so much.
He exhaled smoke and looked at her quietly, little by little, trying to engrave her appearance in his mind.
He admitted that the other person in him seemed to be clamoring for him to rush over and pull her over, and that he had had countless crazy thoughts in his mind to keep her by any means.
Later, he curled his lips and turned away.
He was afraid that if he took another step slowly, he would turn around and rush to embrace her.
But he was afraid that she would cry, that she would not want to, that she would hate him, that she would call him a bastard with tears in her eyes. At the end of the
speech, he turned and saw her.
Has she been down there watching him speak?
At that moment, he didn’t want to do anything. He
just wanted to look into her eyes seriously, where there was a rippling lake, which was always quiet. He hung his head and looked at her slowly.
He suddenly saw the searchlight above her head shake.
Almost instinctively, he tackled her in an instant. The sound of
glass catharsis, and the sudden pain of the body, but his face rubbed against her hair, gentle and tangled.
I finally got you.
The hospital is always quiet and pale, because it is intertwined with the despair of death and the joy of new life. A group of doctors pushed the frame past me, and I could barely pull back my thoughts in the red light of the operating room.
In the ambulance, Gu An’s bleeding could not be stopped.
In fact, when he pushed me away, he almost avoided the falling searchlight, but the flying glass fragments were everywhere, cutting more than 20 cuts on his body, several of which seemed to cut the artery, and a section of the falling iron rod also poked into his ribs, giving him a right penetration. When I
listened to the doctor’s story, I was so scared that my signing hand was shaking.
Now, he was in the operating room, and I was outside the operating room. I looked out of the window at the swaying shadows of the trees, but I couldn’t find my thoughts.
I can’t even concentrate.
I didn’t expect that my reunion with Gu An would be so tragic.
I looked blankly at the people running through the corridor. Outside the emergency room was a very noisy place. People with blood were constantly coming down from the ambulance. The cries of the family members suddenly burst, piercing my eardrums.
Fortunately, I have a focus that distracts me from thinking about it.
Gu An will die, very likely.
I covered my face with my hands, so I couldn’t see anything, it was dark, but my ears could hear everything. I told myself that I had to calm down, but if Gu An really died, what should I do?
I don’t want him to die. That, absolutely. There are still some of Gu An’s subordinates
here, but his family has not been able to get in touch with him. I know very little about his family for so many years. I only know that he used to live with his mother. I
live next door to my house.
And then my mom came over.
She said that after all, it was her ex-son-in-law, and it was because of me that she had to come to see her. When
she arrived, I was almost sitting on the ground.
She gave me a tug, but didn’t move. She patted me and told me to get up.
In fact, I admire her very much. She seems to be indifferent to everything. When I saw
her, I finally couldn’t stop.
They said.. Gu An will die. Gu An may die. My tears seemed to come down at once.
Bah, what are you talking about? How unlucky it is before the operation.
She patted me twice more.
Alas, you.. It’s also a bad fate. When
Gu An was pushed out of the operating room, my spirit was still in a trance. Even if my mother was beside me, I couldn’t recover.
I watched his bed being pushed out, walked a few steps, and stopped again.
A group of people went up to ask the doctor, I watched from the periphery, he was wearing a transparent breathing mask, the white fog was spit out, quiet, but I felt that the world suddenly lost its voice.
It’s very noisy, but I can’t hear anything clearly.
I was stunned for a while, but my mother was close. She came back and hugged me and told me that his operation was basically successful, and if he could wake up, there would be no problem.
I answered, and suddenly I felt that the string was torn, and then I felt tired.
Lin Ran, Lin Ran. As
I walked out, my mother asked me where I was going. I said I was going home, and she asked me to come back.
He’s safe. I should go. Won’t
you take care of him? “
Mom, what are you thinking? We left long ago..” I mean, Gu An saved you. It’s reasonable. You should say thank you.
My mother sighed and pulled me down the hospital stairs.
Gu An’s operation was very big. When we came out, it was 11 or 12 o’clock in the evening. The street lights in front of the hospital were still on. My mother took me to a wonton shop. Neither of
us spoke, the wonton was served, the aroma of scallion oil aroused my taste, and I realized that I hadn’t eaten for a long time.
Fog rose, framing the fireworks bit by bit.
All these years, mom has been urging you, because she wants you to have a companion when you’re old.
My mother said slowly.
Gu An saved you, but he only saved you. Now there’s no such thing as a’little girl has nothing to repay, she can only make a promise with her body. ‘Mom just wants you to be clear. Don’t feel guilty and get back together with him. You have to think clearly. I
didn’t expect my mother to tell me this. Who saw Gu An on TV and sighed in front of me
at that time?
I nodded and buried my head in the bowl.
This ah, I do not know what to do, Gu An broke into my life again, he is like this every time, must disturb me, stir up my heart chaos.
I didn’t go home after all. I
was tired, but I couldn’t sleep. I wandered downstairs in the hospital in the middle of the night, thinking about the scene of him coming at me.
He hugged me too tightly at that time. It
‘s too tight.
Later, I slept in a hospital chair at dawn in the east. I slept soundly. I had a dream that Gu An died and I went to his memorial service.
It’s not a good dream. I
was so frightened that I woke up and found the door of Gu An’s ward open, and the doctors in white coats and everyone were there.
My heart trembled.
I suddenly got up and walked over step by step, during which I thought about countless dreams, and finally I saw Gu An sitting on the bed.
He’s awake. There are still some glass cuts on his
face, and I don’t know if he will be disfigured in the future. His eyes are still confused. It is estimated that he has not been awake for a long time, and he is still covered.
I looked at him from a distance through so many people.
I watched his eyes drift and finally I made eye contact with him.
His eyes suddenly lit up.
Then his lips were gently hooked towards me.
The doctor came up and asked him how he felt. Our sight was blocked. I didn’t know why I had to hide behind him. I didn’t go, I didn’t come forward, and I didn’t know what to say.
He still has a lot of friends. I have not seen
most of them, but also familiar with them, after seeing me with a clear face, pulled a few words to pull the others out of the ward.
Gu An, with a hospital pillow and a bandage on his hand, looked at me in his spare time.
Is there anything you want to say, Miss Lin? Miss
Lin.
Do not know why, listening to this name, my heart still fell.
Thank you.
I’m done.
And then I couldn’t say a word.
I looked at him. His eyes were still beautiful, but his face was a little sickly pale. We were deadlocked for a minute before he sighed softly.
I took half my life and heard you say thank you?
Uh?
Dye?
」「……」 Gu An must be the person who knows me best in the world.
He knows how to attack me and how to poke the softest place in my heart. He is also a rascal. He pokes hard when he catches that place.
I sighed and looked at him. His hands and body were still bandaged. He was pitiful and innocent.
I stepped forward, leaned down, and got a little bit closer to him. I felt his breathing suddenly tighten, and even confused. The moment I
put it on his lips, I left. Cooperate
well with the treatment, Gu An.
I turned and walked, and the moment I closed the door, I heard a low roar from him.
He clenched his teeth in a hoarse voice. But
I inexplicably, gently, laughed out. Outside the bus, the
scenery passed quickly. The trees were low and short. Gu An was sitting next to me. His head hit the window glass. His eyes were closed. From my side, his chin was perfect.
At that time, we seemed to be juniors, and we went home together by car during the winter vacation. Gu An and I had been dating for three years and four months.
To say that girls in love seem to lack a sense of security more or less, I am even worse, after all, Gu An seems to have never given me such a sense of security. When she complained about this with her good friend Chen Chen
in the WeChat, she said she had to find a chance to try my boyfriend. What do
I mean.
She said that if a man is not even possessive of you, is not jealous at all, and is indifferent, then he basically does not love you.
So she suggested that she should find a chance to try Gu An when she went home this time. When
I looked at Gu An again, he had already woken up, and our eyes just bumped into each other, and I clearly saw the pure circle in his eyes.
This glass makes my skull hurt.
He propped his head up and tutted softly.
「……」 “Almost here..” Mmm.
His voice was still very low, and the ending was sticky. Seeing that I took off my scarf and put it on my leg, he pulled it out and gave me two random circles. Put on
your scarf and get out of the car immediately.
I nodded slightly, and when he put the scarf on me, his fingertips rubbed against my neck, and I felt a little numbness for no reason.
Gu An.
I called out his name.
He turned his head slightly to look at me.
His eyes have always been very shallow, so it always makes people feel that there is no emotion, but the corners of his mouth are raised a little radian, which makes people close for no reason.
Chen Chen invited a few of us to have fun together when we were young. It was New Year’s Eve. Would you like to go?
He moved his hand against his neck and glanced carelessly out of the window. After a while, the ending sounded.
Okay. Gu An and
I are neighbors, and we grew up playing together, so we can’t hide anything, so my mother knew we were together long ago. When we go home for
the Spring Festival, she always sets us up to play together.
In fact, I know that she just thinks I’m annoying. When I
went to Gu An’s house, I found that he was pasting window grilles.
It seems that he has been living with his mother. His mother is a very gentle person. Anyway, it is much better than my mother’s sudden hot temper.
When he saw me coming, he hooked his finger at me.
Come here, help me to have a look. Is this blessing crooked?
I backed out to look, well, crooked. Move
to the right.
“” So?
He turned the corner in an arc, but the arc was bigger.
“Yes, yes, to the left.” “Oh, no, to the right again. “
No, no, a little more to the left..” “No..” Lin Ran.
He simply stood and raised one eyebrow to look at me.
It’s really crooked.
I told him very seriously.
Come on, then come here and hold it for me.
I went over and held him down, but he didn’t let go of his upper hand, and he didn’t mean to go away, so it was like I was surrounded by him.
He lowered his head slightly, the corner of his mouth just touched the tip of my ear, and the breath eroded my auricle bit by bit.
Help me, okay, okay, hold it.
After a while, he backed out to have a look and had to admit that he had really stuck it askew.
He gave a tut.
“Oh, you’re both here!” A voice with a little joy interrupted our eerie and charming atmosphere.
Chen Chen is my junior high school classmate, although later admitted to different high schools, different universities, our contact has never been broken.
Gu An, did you bully my family?
She took my arm. With the heating in the
northern winter, a big indoor cotton-padded jacket was taken off. At this time, Gu An was wearing a turtleneck sweater, leaning lazily against the wall, and his eyes fell impartially on the arms of Chen Chen and me.
He laughed twice in an ambiguous way. Instead of
doing anything, he turned around and shook the glue in his hand. Give me a hand,
you two. There seems to be more snow
this year than ever before.
To be honest, the way I get along with Gu An is both like a couple and not like a couple.
Especially when we came back to the place where we stayed for 18 years, we were more like childhood sweethearts who grew up together. Early in the
morning, when I opened the door, I saw Gu An yawning and sweeping the snow next door.
He was really wearing a lot of clothes, and he wore a huge scarf, which almost covered half of his face, showing his wet peach blossom eyes looking at me.
After a while, say hello to me.
Good morning.
I nodded, our eyes met in the air for a moment, and then before he could react, I took out the snowball I had already made and threw it at him.
Hit the bull’s eye.
Gu An was hit and staggered backwards.
I guess I haven’t woken up yet.
And then I saw him squinting at me. At a
time like this, don’t you run away if you don’t stand and be beaten by him.
So I mobilized the few remaining sports cells in my body and turned around and ran when he was looking for combat tools.
As a result, Gu An, a tall man with long legs, did not take two steps to catch up with me. He hugged me in his arms and drank at my ears.
You’re good, Lin Ran.
I saw that he didn’t pinch the snowball or anything, so I gave up resisting. Unexpectedly, his hand touched my neck like this.
He didn’t wear gloves. His hands were really cold.
I was so excited by the cold that I wanted to break away from him. As a result, he pressed me into his arms, and his hands were still restless. There was a downward trend all the way.
I was wrong, I was wrong. If
the hero does not suffer immediate losses, I will surrender.
He laughed behind me and pulled the zipper of my coat up again.
Why don’t you bring a scarf? It’s too urgent to
come out. You’re in a
hurry to hit me.
“” Mmm.
Then neither of us spoke, and now it began to snow again. The snow was all over the sky, falling on his short hair. He looked at me and looked down slightly. I could even see the crystal on his eyelashes.
However, I hope the snow will be longer and bigger.
In this way, Gu An and I will have a white head if we are not careful. On the day before the
New Year, Gu An and I went to the party organized by Chen Chen as promised. A friend who grew up in
a hutong seems to have changed a little. After all, even the fat slug king who used to be chased and beaten every day has now become a gentle man with black-framed glasses.
So, you two are together? When Gu An and
I were together, there was not so much publicity, so many friends I knew before didn’t know about it. After
knowing, it was an unexpected and unexpected expression on his face.
Because to tell you the truth, before I went to junior high school, I had a lot of weight to speak in that little boy in the alley.
After all, I was strong since I was a child, and the little girl jumped up earlier than boy. At that time, I was high-spirited, with a group of younger brothers, and even Gu An had to call me sister.
Gu An was my “consigliere” at that time.
As a result, if he made any trouble, he would blame me. Half of the beatings I got when I was a child were probably Gu An’s.
He was able to coax me, and every time I blinked pitifully, I was stunned by him, and I really thought I deserved it.
Later, Gu An, the strategist, mutinied under the banner of independence.
Poor at that time, my brain was not clear, and I could never figure out why those younger brothers did not play with me, and why they began to target me together.
Until one day, I saw Gu An become the new child king of the alley, and laughed at me rather badly.
At that time, my position had become neglected and I could occasionally be thrown stones when I walked.
Now that I think of it, I would have grown up to be open-minded, and I became autistic at that time.
Later, I went home to sleep under the quilt, but I was so angry that I got up and called Gu An out.
I saw that this guy did not blink a pair of innocent eyes, really feel angry, good guy, he saw me like to break out, but also one step ahead of me to threaten me.
Lin Ran! If you dare to hit me, I will find an adult! You were grounded by your mother last time, and you don’t want to be.. again. I instantly recalled the days when I took the blame for Gu An.
Directly number a voice to put Gu An on the ground hammer. Crying
while hammering.
The child did not have a degree, I really used all my strength, and when the adults came to separate us, I kicked him hard. I was slapped in the face by my
mother.
I cried louder.
After that, I couldn’t go out to play for the whole summer vacation, and Gu An and I had a complete quarrel.
Every time I recall the chance to beat Gu An, I feel angry.
After all, I couldn’t beat him later.
We ate hot pot. At the dinner table, everyone pushed a cup for a change, like an adult but not like an adult. I thought Gu An was the most familiar with this kind of game, but I didn’t expect him to sit quietly and eat. He had nothing to do and only had dry rice in his eyes.
Chen Chen told me before that the person she wanted to try Gu An was Fatty Wang.
His name is Wang Chenqing. In the
small hutong era, I was more humble than when I was down and out.
My impression of him at that time was that he had a sloppy nose, but I didn’t expect him to be a gentle man now.
Chen Chen said that in the game session, Wang Chenqing will take the opportunity to show some thoughts about me, and then it will depend on Gu An’s reaction.
Thinking of this, I took another look at Gu An, who rinsed a bowl of meat slices and ate happily.
He saw me looking at him and put a chopstick of fat beef in my bowl.
「……」 A group of people finished eating and went to KTV to sing.
Of course, there must be a game.
Ten thousand years of the same truth or dare, but everyone loves to play, Chen Chen shook the glass, shouted up.
Come to play, come to play. You can only play the truth. The big adventure is to drink a glass of wine.
I took part, but I didn’t expect Gu An not to play.
He used to be active at this time.
Not like now, leaning on the sofa, with a faint expression, watching me, he raised a little corner of his mouth towards me.
Turn the first is me, but I seem to really have no material to dig, Chen Chen hold back for a long time, the result is another girl asked me first. Who first expressed their love,
you or Koo An?
That girl’s eyes are all too familiar to me. As soon as
I wanted to answer, Gu An, sitting on the sofa, answered for me.
I.
He said it was him.
「……」 A group of people said “Oh” and looked as if they had been forced to eat dog food.
And then the turntable never came to me again.
But Wang Chenqing was transferred several times, but several times he grabbed the glass, making a group of people think that he came here to cheat wine.
When he turned to him again, Chen Chen protected the glass.
Come on, don’t drink any more this time. Let me ask you, what is the thing you regret most since you were a child?
I thought he was a little drunk, his cheeks were a little red, his eyes were half squinting, he was stunned for a long time, and suddenly he looked straight at me.
Probably — in the end, I didn’t have the courage to protect someone.
To tell you the truth, when he said that, he looked at me too straight.
I was a little uncomfortable by the line of sight, and subconsciously looked back at Gu An, who was sitting in the distance with several other people watching us play.
But somehow, the crowd was so noisy that everyone was interested in Wang Chenqing’s words. Several people even stared at us with a meaningful face. When I looked over, I couldn’t see his eyes. I
don’t know why I want to know his response so badly.
As a result, I couldn’t wait. After a while, Gu An got up and joined us.
Come on, I’ll play a few games, too.
His smile was as usual and his eyes were shining like stars. He seemed to be born here, so he could be the focus of other people’s eyes so easily.
But he never looked at me again.
By eight or nine o’clock, several little girls said that their parents were too strict to go home early, so they broke up. When Gu An and I went downstairs to the KTV, the wind blew on our faces like a knife. We
took a taxi and sat in the back row. I looked for a topic several times, and he answered in a low voice. The neon light
outside the window illuminated his side face so clearly that I couldn’t see it clearly.
“But Wang Chen-ching has really changed a lot. I remember I used to take care of him..” I intentionally stimulated him, but he really had no expression, so he hung me out to dry, and the air was frozen. When I
got out of the car, he was tall and had long legs. I ran a few steps to catch up with him. Seeing him like this, I really didn’t know what to say.
Goodbye, Gu An.
I can only say goodbye to him.
As a result, he stopped, turned around and grabbed my wrist, pulled me into his house, closed the door and pressed me against the door at one go.
His mother was probably not at home. There was no light in the house. I could only see his high nose by the light outside the window.
The room was dark and sensory-deprived, and I heard his breathing, softly ringing in my ear.
He just kissed me.
I have always had to admit that Gu An’s kissing skills are really good, good enough to torture people to death, one second to lick your mouth, the next second to attack the city like a king. I was kissed by
him so that I could hardly breathe. Pulling his sleeve, he half held me and kissed me all the way to my neck.
Gu An.
“” Hmm? His coda in the
dark was simply sultry, with its usual languid tone.
Are you jealous?
I heard him laugh.
Children are jealous.
His hand ran across my waist and slowly lifted my skirt. The night filled the air, eroding people’s senses over and over again. I told myself that I couldn’t do this, but pushing his hand became more and more powerless. The moment
he entered, he gently bit my earlobe. For
adults, this is generally called “flirting.”. The
fireworks exploded in the air.
Outside the window began to snow all over the sky, I just remembered that the New Year’s plan was to watch fireworks with Gu An, but now, neither of us looks like we can go out now.
Gu An hugged me from behind and looked out of the window at the snow with me. The moment the fireworks exploded, the day seemed like day. His breath hit my shoulder. After a while, I heard him whisper in my ear. Happy
New Year.
“. Focus on not getting lost ~”
