I’m with the one who was bullying me.
When the dawn fell into the room, I just moved my arm.
The arms around my waist will tighten me up.
One.
Shen Yan knew that he was bowing his head and kissing my neck, and the low voice mixed up with a few waking mutes.
“Did you sleep last night?”
I was frozen for a moment, and then I nodded.
In the old days, I might have resisted a little, but it took him three weeks to teach me a reason.
Just submit.
And he held his hand on his side, and he passed through my finger stitches with joy, and set his hands against my ten fingers.
I’m so happy and I smile.
“Didn’t you lose your ring this time? I’m sorry.
I don’t know.
He’s talking about the ring on my no-name ring.
There were two more, one of which I hid in the fridge and one of which I threw into the garden view downstairs.
I don’t want to recall the consequences of the two rings, and the third one probably:
I’m going with him, the man I used to fear most.
Married.
Two.
I like time in the bathroom.
Because you don’t have to face him or remember some terrible memories.
But while I was staring at the half-glasses in the bathroom, the fog couldn’t cover up some of my eye contact marks.
My eyes are red and I look at myself in the mirror.
Until the door was blown by Shen Yan, who knocked slowly.
“What’s taking so long?”
“If you don’t come out, I’ll go in. I’m sorry.
“…”
He wasn’t in the bathroom without saying hello. I turned off the flowers and surrounded the towel.
I don’t know.
Breakfast is still set on the table, but Shen Yanzhi probably doesn’t have time for it.
The morning news was on TV, and he had a clean tie for a bone long.
Seeing me staring at him, he leaned over and shaved my nose.
“You like it? Next time you’ll tie it to me? I’m sorry.
I don’t want to be ashamed.
And he just didn’t care to laugh.
Pick up the milk I drank and drink it next to my lips.
I don’t know.
“Good boy, wait for me to come back. I’m sorry.
“Let’s show you the wedding dress tonight. I’m sorry.
3
Shen Yanzhi left.
I was staring at the TV.
Then he lifted up the glass he had just had and threw it all over the TV.
The TV just stunned and the glass fell on the ground.
The sound of great noises is a source of shock.
And I sat on my knees and cried.
I don’t know.
Shen Yanzhi was my nightmare.
When I was in high school, he was the one who was the toughest in the group.
He threw all the books in my bag down the stairs.
I was also isolated by my classmates, at his instigation, and the girls took me to the bathroom and slapped me.
As long as he takes the lead in bullying me, no one will dare help me.
Because Shen Yanzhi is the son of a large group chief.
There’s a building in our school that his family donated.
He took the lead in mocking me in vain, and even bullying me became a trend in the class.
I heard his face wasn’t a girl’s dream.
But for me he is the devil that torments me all night and night.
People like that.
But it was seven years after graduation.
Say you want to marry me.
4
I can’t change my habit of shaking when I see Shen Yanzhi.
Even if I had slept with him for three weeks.
No one helped me. My mother knew Shen Yen knew that someone like me would marry me.
Shen Yonji seems to have changed the car, which has a large backseat.
But I don’t like big cars in the back.
The barriers in the middle have been raised, and no one knows what I’ll do with him in the back.
But today Shen Yanzhi is quieter than usual.
I’ve been shaking. The temperature in the car is high. I’m still shaking.
He put me in his arms despite my reaction.
Are you so scared?
A man whispers into his ear, and he knows who I am.
“I’ll take you to the wedding dress later, okay? I’m sorry.
I kept a little bit of my own tremor, but I laughed ironically.
Who would have thought that one step at a time had pushed me into the abyss.
You’re saying you’re taking me to the wedding dress?
5
Shen Yanzhi took me to this shop in a private villa.
The crystal chandelier reflects the light and shows a piece of the wedding dress on the model.
I’m not in the mood to see or choose.
Shen Yen-sik and the designer are talking about what style to customize me.
Let the assistant take a ruler and measure my body size.
The backyard of this store is a small garden, and I’m more interested in it.
So when they talked, I took my skirt and went to the pond in the backyard.
There is a door behind the small garden, as if it had passed, and the road to unlimited freedom.
Actually, I’ve tried to escape a million times.
When I had the courage to escape, I found myself in a state of frustration and having nowhere else to go.
My mother wanted me to marry Shen Yonji and she took my hand and told me not to do it.
I sat by the pond until Shen Yanzhi came to me after talking.
“What do you think?”
Many times Shen Yanzhi is so high.
So I showed him my arm.
On the wrist, there’s a little red mark.
It’s a round wound with a scar on the outside.
“Look, your cigarette is hot. I’m sorry.
I’m talking about high school when he was in a bad mood, and then he pulled me to the corner and put a cigarette butt there.
It hurts so bad that I forget what he did later.
The man who looked at me was half-crazy and then crouched in front of me.
Even if I don’t want to admit it, Shen Yan knows that face, it’s perfect.
Perfect, as the hand of the most famous sculptor of ancient Greece.
If he were to look upon a man with a gentle eye, he would surely drown anyone therein.
Otherwise, why does the Western Bible say that the devil has the most confusing face?
He lit a cigarette in front of me, when the light of the flames shattered.
I shivered unconsciously, and I was afraid I’d fall on my arm again.
But the next second, he downplayed the cigarette head on his wrist.
Same as my position.
He looked at me in peace, “Does it feel better, Secretary? I’m sorry.
“…”
I looked down, the smoke was gone, and the fresh wounds were cut apart.
He suddenly reached out and held me in his arms.
If only you could spare me a little of your pain. I’m sorry.
The pond slowly raised the summer fire, and I looked at the moonlight.
Shen Yonzhi, you know, you brought me the pain. I’m sorry.
The man’s body was frozen for a moment, and then he touched my hair a little bit.
“Then I will redeem myself, okay? I’m sorry.
“…”
Six.
After Shen Yanzhi left this morning, I threw the milk on television as usual.
At such times, the next person usually warms another glass of milk and passes it to me.
But today, I don’t want to drink.
I used to love milk, and when I went to school, my mom always asked me to bring a bottle of milk to school in the morning.
But one day, when I arrived in my class, Shen Yen knew to sit on the table before me.
And he was tall, leaning down, and the shadows would draw me close.
I heard someone laugh, and then someone said, “Have some fun, Master Shen.”
So he smiled at me and his hands spread out in front of me.
I’ll hand over the milk bottle.
When the lid was turned, the fragrance had not yet entered the nasal cavity.
The milky liquid fell from above my head.
Nostrils, collars, skirts.
It’s like everything smells like that, but everybody laughs except me.
“Well, look at her like that. Who are you flirting with? I’m sorry.
“I’m so proud of you, Shen, your fun…”
She sat in front of me with her chin.
He squeezed his chin, and he looked at me.
Smile.
“It’s ugly. I’m sorry.
“…”
So now I always hate milk.
But Shen Yanzhi is the most hated.
Almost all those who gave me milk will kneel before me when I roll through today’s second glass of milk.
“Miss… drink it.”
I sprained my neck and said I didn’t want it, and it ended up on a plane by the couch.
I crawled over and pressed the button, and this one could only hit a person’s phone.
Only this time it was a man, not Shen Yonji.
Miss Qin?
Oh, it’s Shen Yanzhi’s help. That’s always driving.
“I’m looking for Shen Yanzhi. I’m sorry.
“He’s in a meeting, Miss Qin…”
“Then I’ll come over. I’m sorry.
I didn’t wait for the phone to say so. I hung up.
This villa is in and out, there’s security at the door, and I head up to the security guard and I’m going to Shen Yanshi’s company.
It’s probably the benefit of getting married to Shen Yen.
No one stopped me and walked all the way to the top floor.
Only when he was about to break into the conference room.
Miss Qin, you can wait in the next lounge…
I pushed the door to the conference room in a violent manner.
7
Sometimes I don’t know what I want.
Probably out of darkness, trying to pull a man’s back.
Or if you want to make a scene, you’ll be worthless.
So I don’t have to care if people like me have the possibility of being saved.
The conference rooms are largely of middle age.
So Shen Yanzhi, who sits on the throne, looks like he’s a little out of place in this group.
Everyone’s looking at me, over 40 eyes.
I don’t know if the air conditioner was too low and I started shaking again for a second.
And then suddenly someone picked me up.
It’s the first time I’ve seen smoke on Shen Yanshi, cold and cruel, just like him.
When did you get here, huh?
I thought I was still listening to the staff he was training for.
It’s gonna talk to me, it’s gonna be nice.
I don’t know.
The meeting was interrupted because of my intrusion.
When I came back, he was in the office.
His office is large and on the top floor, he can see the top floor below.
Looking down in such a high place as to be able to hold in hand all those who walk in haste.
It’s like you can crush an ant, like me.
I was thrown on the bed in the room next to his office.
The man was deceiving, untied with one hand, and the dark red silk fell from his fingertips.
I think I’m the one who interrupted his meeting, so he got a little angry.
Actually.
He wasn’t that used to me.
“Did you miss me too much today?”
And the long hair which was in between the beds was drawn by him, and he surrounded his fingers.
I looked at him in peace.
“Do you have milk in your office? I’m sorry.
He was like, apparently, not expecting me to ask that question.
This is supposed to be his private lounge, with access to his office, with his own clothes and suits scattered in his bed.
Half an hour ago, he brought me a box of milk from the fridge.
“The house is gone…” I’m sorry.
He didn’t finish. I took the milk box.
Turn the cover of the box and pour it down the head of the man in front of you.
In fact, he was just a moment away.
Actually, he could have avoided it.
But he left me to pour a whole box of milk over his head and to freeze.
I looked up at him, damn it, it was like this. His face was still pretty.
Shen Yanzhi, you used to pour milk on me. I’m sorry.
I told him everything.
I don’t know.
Probably no one can make him look like this.
Milk slipped over his eyebrow, he took over the cheeks, and eventually, he just smiled.
Maybe when he took another bottle of milk out of the fridge, I didn’t realize what he was doing.
But when he spins the milk lid, I open my eyes and realize what might happen.
The liquid that just came out of the fridge was cold, and when he poured the milk from above my head, I didn’t have any reason to whisper.
The liquid flowed down to the collar.
Turns out the iced milk is not the same as the memories.
I don’t know.
I used to listen to my cleaning aunt whispering that I was crazy and wouldn’t marry.
Shen Yen knows better than I.
It’s been too long.
After he poured milk, he was still in the mood to stroke my cheek.
“Now you’re like me. I’m sorry.
I threw him away.
“You know, it’s bad for me, right? I’m sorry.
He just grabbed my chin and I couldn’t move.
Honestly, I’m not afraid of him.
I just don’t want him to be angry, it’s weird.
I guess I hated that, or he was just too impressed.
He put me in the bathroom.
The evaporating fog does not discern the contours of the man in front of him, and is far too far-sighted.
“Shen Yanzhi, seven years ago, why did you come back for me? I’m sorry.
I asked him, “I don’t feel like I’m going to live.”
His answer to that question was always silence.
8
I was in his bed.
He could even be careful with my will.
Actually, I haven’t slept well these days.
I seem to have forgotten how long ago the last time I slept in peace.
When we went to the bathroom, someone changed the new bed, without the smell of Shen Yen.
I can’t believe I’m going to sleep faster than before.
Dreams are broken, high school scenes are like waves.
In the end, between half-dreams, I heard people talking to me.
Looks like they’re here to clean the room. Two very young women.
“Well, do you know who the woman just broke into the room? I’m sorry.
“Miss Qin, Shen General’s fiancée. I’m sorry.
“Oh, but she’s really uneducated. I’m sorry.
Shen’s spoiling her.
“Why? I have never seen her future hostess before…”
“I just heard she was found a few weeks ago. I’m sorry.
‘Cause she’s like Shen’s first lover. I’m sorry.
Shen couldn’t catch up with that first love, so she went back and asked for the next one.
9
When I woke up again, the sky was burning red, and the clouds were pouring into the room with the sun.
The sound of the people who turned the page was not ringing. As soon as I moved, he heard.
He leaned on his forehead.
“You have a fever. I’m sorry.
“Why don’t you drink milk in the morning? I’m sorry.
I opened my mouth and found myself hard to make a sound.
It hurts. It’s dry and weak.
I can only convey my will by shaking my head.
Shen Yonji smiled and picked me up.
He changed his clothes, he didn’t smell smoke, and there were some details he could care about the appalling level.
He never smoked it in front of me.
“I don’t drink milk anymore. I’m sorry.
When he took me into the back seat of the car, I ended up saying that without my voice.
He stunned for a moment.
Some are laughing.
“What do you want with me? I’m sorry.
“…”
Maybe he’s right.
Maybe I just want to see him get mad and throw me away.
But I don’t want to say one more word, but I’m just going back to my seat.
The car started slowly and the clouds were running through the window.
The unnamed red sun is burning, like at a certain moment, to the heart.
I don’t know.
Shen Yanzhi took me home.
There’s a man sitting on the couch in the living room.
I tried to remember when it was the first time I saw Willow and found nothing to impress me.
I just feel like I look like her.
So I saw Shen Yonzhi, and the girl on the couch stood up and jumped at him.
Shen Yanzhi was there for half a minute.
Until the girl’s neck was covered in pieces between her forehead, and she cried out his name with joy.
Shen Yanzhi, I’m back. I’m sorry.
I don’t know.
The man he’s holding is still in his arms, or I’m warning.
“She said she came back. I’m sorry.
Shen Yon Zhi’s throat rolls, half-twirl, dry and hard.
“You’re back. I’m sorry.
I’ve never seen him look so deformed.
I’m lost and I’m down.
10
The girl then moved into the villa.
She’s always with Shen Yonji.
Sometimes I think of the conversation I heard that day in Shen Yonsi’s office.
They said I was Shen Yan’s replacement for her first lover.
But Shen Yanzhi still has no intention of marrying me.
It’s just that I was sitting at both ends of the table with Shen Yonji, and now there’s more of us to thank.
Thanks to Yoo, she’s the kind of girl who likes to talk.
I don’t understand. Shen Yonji’s lovers are back.
If I happen to be a substitute for someone he likes, why didn’t he let me go?
Or is he trying to put me next to him, to torture me as many years ago?
I don’t know.
Shen Yanzhi came home late these days.
Today, he seems a little drunk.
I don’t see any thanks to Willow, but Shen Yan knows some clothes are not right.
The tie was scattered, the hair of the forehead was lifted by his hand, and the dark light in the living room made his skin pale.
His eyes are red under his eyebrow.
When he saw me, he laughed.
You’re losing your mind. I’m sorry.
I was put on the couch by him, and at that point he held my waist and kept me from hitting my handle.
Men’s eyes are red as a wave of horror.
“Shen Yanzhi, where are your thanks? I’m sorry.
I asked him with my head on his face, but he just sneered.
“I lost it. I’m sorry.
“She went out with you today. I’m sorry.
“I already lost her. I’m sorry.
“…”
Unnamed emotions are still rising inside me, and I’m not looking at him.
And a man’s forehead stings on me, and some day I find his eyes darkened.
You didn’t drink milk today, did you? I’m sorry.
“When I’m gone, you pour out the milk? I’m sorry.
“…”
Yeah, I haven’t had milk in days.
I’m probably like Shen Yonji, and I’m the kind of weird guy who doesn’t want to do it.
But Shen Yen Zhi will not take into account my reluctance.
A new glass of milk will soon be warmed up by him.
He sat in front of me, staring at me, “Drink it. I’m sorry.
I guess a glass of milk doesn’t matter.
He cares if I don’t listen to him.
I didn’t look at him with my lips, but I fought for the past few decades, but it was not my intention.
Today, probably as well.
If I don’t drink, Shen Yonji will squeeze my chin and pour it on me.
Somehow, I think he’s angry again today.
I gnawed my teeth hard, and finally he started to sigh.
Look at me and drink milk.
Then grab my chin and kiss me.
He slit his teeth and finally the liquid entered my tongue.
The sweet smell of milk and those who are drunk and do madness.
I felt so bad, I couldn’t tell him, I cried at the end, and he stopped.
The night was always silent and cruel, and I looked at the vase of dry flowers.
It’s like he’s only heard his voice.
Low dumb, broken.
He put me in his arms, and the temperature of men was always hot and hot.
He said he was sorry to me over and over again.
“Don’t cry, I’m wrong, I’m bad…”
“Don’t cry, sir…”
I don’t know.
That look made me feel like I was.
Like I always was.
He looked like a treasure existed.
Eleven.
A man who’s always good at talking.
I’m just challenging him to say I don’t want to see you again.
The next day, I saw Yoo crying and crying and packing his suitcase.
I’m starting to wonder what Shen Yanzhi really means.
He shouldn’t have listened to me like that.
Besides, thanks for being his first lover.
I don’t get it. I usually just ask.
But a man is just holding his hand on my hair, which is his usual method of perfunctory.
You’re never a substitute for anybody. I’m sorry.
Look, they’ve always been so familiar with that.
As long as he doesn’t want to, he’ll never tell me what he really wants.
It’s always just me.
12
Maybe it’s too hot for the heat, even if the food is good for my aunt.
I swallowed my last hog and I went straight into the toilet and threw up in the toilet.
And that’s when my heart jumped so fast.
Aunt hasn’t been here for months.
“…”
Shen Yanzhi’s unconscionable attitude, failing to give me medication, seems to be the inevitable result.
I’m pregnant.
Shen Yanzhi probably didn’t know I was staring at my flat little belly.
There’s something sad about this kid’s stay. Is it really up to me?
Shen Yanzhi came home early these days.
And when I get home, I have to be hugged.
I don’t know if he’s the one who kicked me on the ground at first sight.
His bottom line doesn’t seem to have been pulled very low since.
Sometimes I can hear him and friends calling.
I think his friend called him out to play cards.
He dazzled and looked at me on the couch.
“To be with your wife. I’m sorry.
“…”
There’s a whirlwind in the microphone, and I can hear it.
“and spoil your little psycho…”
The voices of a group of people are moving away, yes, in the eyes of my friends in Shen Yansai.
Crazy, or insane, to leave Mrs. Shen alone.
One night I had a nightmare.
I don’t even know if it’s a dream or a memory.
Shen Yonji was led by a crowd who blocked me in the corner of the classroom and read my score loudly.
At that time, I couldn’t get my energy away from learning because they harassed me.
The results were rather tragic.
But Shen Yanzhi is first and he always is first.
He’ll try and roll over my head and laugh.
“Fuck, IQ is low. I’m sorry.
I don’t know.
I opened my eyes and the sound came from outside.
It is as if the night was groaning down, and those who are with them breathed light.
I sat on him and choked him.
In the night, he looked quiet and helpless.
“Are you going to strangle me?”
Shen Yanzhi, you brought me to hell. I’m sorry.
I whisper, slowly close my hands.
He looked at me like that.
I think there’s always a moment when I’m really going to end his life.
But I still didn’t do it.
Despite his demands.
13
At noon today, there’s someone at home I’d particularly like to see.
Even if Shen Ri Xin and I hadn’t seen her for so many years, I’d be twitching.
Shen Ri Xin, Shen Yon Xin’s sister.
Shen Yanzhi stood up and helped me when he bullied me so hard.
At that time, I naively thought that she was my only light and my salvation in my messy life.
She told me not to be afraid of her brother, that she would protect me, that nobody would touch me with her.
Later I realized that she helped me because she was having an affair with her brother.
So she made up with her brother and started to change me.
She used to greet a bunch of girls who stuck me in the bathroom and took pictures that humiliated me.
At the end of the day, the photos were all in Shen Yanzhi’s possession.
The memory was so painful that I almost threw up in the toilet once I saw Shen Ri Xin.
She doesn’t like me.
And when Shen Yanzhi brought me back and forced me to marry him, he was Shen Ri Xin’s worst.
She yelled at me in front of me, said I wasn’t worthy, and said how her brother fell for me.
And then she saw me, and she didn’t look so good.
But I couldn’t wait to see her make things worse, so I looked back.
She’s the kind of girl who smiles at me with her arms.
Qin Qin, my brother really spoiled you. I’m sorry.
“…”
“I’m telling you, you and I have never been together again. I’m sorry.
“Don’t think I’ll let you marry us.” I’m sorry.
“…”
She’s a child sometimes.
I don’t know what she’s here for today, but this kind of provocation… it doesn’t mean anything.
I don’t know.
Brother! Can you break up with this woman? I’m sorry.
It was not until Shen Yen came back that I finally understood her purpose.
I still don’t want to marry Shen Yonji.
On this point, I’m actually in the same position as her.
Shen Yanzhi tried to rub my head with his hand and I ran away.
He looked down and his voice was quiet.
“No way to break up. I’m sorry.
“…”
Shen Rie’s stomping on her feet and staring at me.
I turned my eyes over, and I didn’t expect Shen Yen to see it.
He sneered.
Brother! Would you stop spoiling her? Look what you’ve done for her.
“…”
At the table, Shen Ri Xin was still in disarray until Shen Yon was warned.
“Quiet eat. I’m sorry.
She just stopped messing around.
It’s a very quiet meal. I don’t have an appetite.
And it’s always disgusting.
After dinner, Shen Yansai took a call.
I’m the only one at the table.
Of course I’m not in the mood to be there, but when I get up and go, she suddenly calls me.
I feel dizzy and I see her.
She’s just like her claws:
Qin, I still have your photos. I’m sorry.
“Now I can’t help but taste it all the time.
“Do you know how cheap you are in the picture? I’m sorry.
“Only you, my brother doesn’t deserve a bed…”
She’s not finished.
Because I’ve raised the teapot to her on the table.
The woman’s screams broke through the house and Shen Ri’s fine makeup was overflowing with water.
Her screams naturally drew her brother.
“She threw water at me!”
Shen Ri Xin was on the line of crying, and I heard it so clearly.
Shen Yanzhi stood by her and looked at me in peace.
“…”
I don’t know what’s wrong with me. I wouldn’t get so angry with Shen Yonji any more.
But this time, I feel like I can’t control myself.
I looked at Shen Ri Xin, and I said,
“You’re a fucking bitch…”
“…”
That’s probably, like, dozens of seconds of tweezers.
Even Shen Ri Xin stopped crying.
It wasn’t until I felt the fire on my cheeks that I held my tongue against my cheeks.
I admit, I still can’t believe it.
Shen Yanzhi slapped me.
Because I said something bad about his sister.
I looked up at him, opened my eyes, but I couldn’t see. The chandelier was too strong.
Shen Yanzhi stayed longer than me.
Then he cried out my name in a panic.
I can’t hear you.
I don’t want to hear it either.
I took the cutter of fruit on the table and stabbed myself in the abdomen.
The funny thing is, until then, I still have one in ten.
I want Shen Yanzhi to be the father of my child.
14
As if he had been lying on a bed that heard most.
It’s the vibe.
It’s an endless white window, clean to the ceiling without any dust.
The dildo drops down, and the pin on the wrist is like a stabbing in the blood.
I can’t remember how many days I’ve been in bed and how many people have seen me.
A doctor or nurse by the window, a man or a woman, at some point I didn’t seem to hear anything.
The visions of Shen Yon knew and his sister, which were broken into their memories like dreams in waves, were sometimes rolled over and over.
I forgot that I was in the abyss, but I was looking for a way out of Satan.
So I’m really going to hold on to Shen Yonji’s tenderness and I’m going to think he’s not him at some point.
The tummy hurts for days and the stitches of the surgery are terrible even for me.
I couldn’t sleep when I was lying in bed one day, and the pins in my veins became very sudden.
I had a good time, and the doctor said that, because the needle was a hose, it could be in the vein for a long time.
But it stayed there, it was hard.
So We pulled it out of the fourth place.
There was a blood stain, but it didn’t hurt that much.
Honestly, I can’t feel the pain.
I actually feel like I can’t feel someone else’s presence, and I want to be alone.
Just lie in bed and die.
I don’t care. I don’t care.
I don’t know.
I threw away the medicine I passed the nurse.
Because nobody else eats, I want to eat.
It’s like I can’t fight my fate.
And then I began to feel like it was my mom who came to me.
She always sheds tears, crying more painfully than me.
But I don’t want to answer her.
I can’t understand what she says. She’s always begging me, begging me not to do that, begging me to get better and asking me not to ignore anyone.
I don’t really want to talk about it. I just can’t talk to people.
I suddenly felt that communication was unnecessary, because no one cared what I thought.
I don’t know.
I’ll calculate my time with the light of the window.
One night, I was still scared and unable to sleep.
The door to the ward was suddenly pushed.
How can it be described as a footsteps that are too familiar to be forgotten, day and night?
I can be sure of that.
This is the first time she’s come to see me.
He didn’t seem to think I was asleep, standing in front of my bed and looking at me.
I thought I could look at him in peace, but when he brought his legs closer.
I still couldn’t stand it. I threw my hand at him with my mother’s iron lunch box left by the window.
He didn’t hide, he stinged.
So I found out that his hair had no sense, but he was tired.
The elbows, bandages.
“…”
The night is always like this, even though the wind outside the window is a shadow, silence and cruelty are always eating on the human heart.
“I heard the nurse say you threw the medicine away? I’m sorry.
The man’s voice was low and he came at me step by step, and I threw everything I could to him.
Sir. I’m sorry.
He calls me by my name, and he’ll always look like he’s in love.
Maybe so. He’s used to knit traps with this trick.
He’s just lying to me.
Kick me on the ground and strangle me.
It’s funny that I really forget who pushed me into the abyss.
15
Out of the room yelling.
But summer life seems to have nothing to do with me.
Shen Yanzhi came in with her sister’s collar.
“I can’t apologize to that woman!” I told you Shen Yanzhi, don’t fool around! I’m sorry.
The girl had been struggling and was finally kicked by Shen Yanzhi to kick her knee.
Almost kneeling in front of my bed.
“You!” She stares at me.
It’s like a joyous farce, but I’m not really in the mood for her, and the man standing behind her is really in my way.
I’ll just close my eyes and lie on the bed and forget to see.
“Sorry. I’m sorry.
In the end, the girl whispered.
“…”
Sir. I’m sorry.
I heard him calling my name.
I didn’t really want to open my eyes.
But the girl’s voice suddenly went up eight degrees, too loud.
What are you doing? Get up! I’m sorry.
“…”
President Shen’s kneeling is probably a rare sight.
He bowed up in front of my bed, looked in his eyes and covered his head with light.
Shen Riya was pulling him around, crying.
Brother, get up! Don’t kneel…”
“Why are you kneeling on her knees, brother? Look at you…”
Shen Yanzhi!
Shen Ri Xin has been crying by his side as a tearman.
I don’t want to see it, and I can’t stand it anymore.
Shen Ri Xinlah didn’t move him and ended up crying out of the ward.
Summer stings in one side inside.
I looked him in the eye.
It seems that the sun is too strong, and a light vortex is on the edge of his pupils.
It’s as if these eyes were also in the memory of a long time ago.
I suddenly wanted to cry.
I don’t know why.
16
People stay in bed long enough to grow tired.
I don’t hate death, I just feel bad about being imprisoned.
So the nurse gave me permission to go down to the garden, and most of the summer was hot, and not so many patients.
I’m used to being in the shade, there’s a white piano in the courtyard in the middle square.
It seems that one of the former patients donated to the hospital.
If you’re lucky, there’s a good guy sitting there playing a song.
For example, there’s always a 17-year-old boy playing the piano there.
I’m impressed because his hair is white.
Although his skin was almost transparent, it was healthy.
So it’s not albinism, it’s his own hair color.
But he looks like a good boy, not a rebel.
I saw him for about two or three days.
On the fourth day, he didn’t come.
I’ve been looking for the piano for a long time. I studied the piano in primary school, and my mom forced me to get to grade 10.
It’s been on the piano for a long time. It’s a little off.
I played a little bumpy, with a spectral bullet in my memory.
There’s a chapter on transition, and I forgot.
When I couldn’t think of anything, I suddenly reached out with a white hand.
A young man with his eyes closed can take out my mushy bullet.
And I’m not oblivious to a nurse who can shake me these days.
The noon light is particularly strong and the steaming heat is so isolated.
I looked at him, and he sat next to me.
Four hands.
Since high school, I’ve forgotten what music means to me.
I became a pianist when I was young.
Until the end of the music.
People are laughing at me.
He bends his eyes and laughs with a pear vortex.
“My name is Song. I’m sorry.
“Sister, long time no see. I’m sorry.
17
I don’t remember Song having a star.
But he always told me we met a long time ago.
“You forget that I have nothing to do with it, because one day you’ll remember. I’m sorry.
He practiced with me.
Take the game with me.
I know it’s weird that he exists, and maybe he doesn’t mean it.
But I can’t hate him.
Because he’s always smiling at me.
Because he’s not like my mother. He always washes his face with tears.
Because he didn’t come to my bed in the middle of the night like a ghost.
Song has a star, he’s the only one who’s good to me.
It’s a strange feeling, and maybe people can feel it.
He smiled at me, and I could forget the pain for a short time.
Sister, do you want me to take you? I’m sorry.
One afternoon he suddenly said to me.
I didn’t think I could escape Shen Yonzhi, but the devil sent him away, and I nodded to him.
So Song had a star hidden in my room that day.
When it was dark, he sneaked me out.
It’s from the window of the ward. The second floor is not too high.
I was held by him, and my heart never beats so hard.
The teenager was wearing a white shirt, and his abdomen crossed my wrist.
There’s no moon tonight, light.
From his eyebrow, he had a tiny mole in his eyebrow.
I cried all of a sudden.
He crouched down and wiped my tears off his sleeve.
“I can’t remember who you are, Song has a star. I’m sorry.
But why are you so familiar?
“It doesn’t matter if I can’t remember, Qin Qin, we have to move on. I’m sorry.
He was riding a bike, and I was sitting behind him.
As the night was passing, my hospital was at the seaside, so I was riding along the road, so I could see the sea of waves.
He held his bike and led me to the end of the road.
And behind us, we’re approaching several motor vehicles.
So, eventually people have to go back to reality.
No matter how romantic you meet, no matter how much you like the people in front of you.
Song’s got a star on his ass, but he can’t beat a four-wheeler.
The wind on the cliff was so big that he was stuck.
What an eye-blowing lamp to pull our car over. The people who got off the car took a few steps towards me.
Shen Yanzhi put me in his arms.
The smoke on him was so heavy that I couldn’t break his arms.
He’s screeching like he’s gonna put me in his body.
“If he wants to take you away. I’m sorry.
“I’ll kill him. I’m sorry.
“…”
18
I had a big fight with Shen Yanzhi.
Or as if I’m going crazy unilaterally.
Who can force someone of his status and status?
In the end, I left the hospital but did not return to Shen Yonzhi.
I made a hunger strike and he agreed to go back to my house.
The price is, I’ll finish that bottle of milk every day under his supervision.
He doesn’t believe in the milk he drinks every day.
But I don’t care.
He let me drink, I drink.
I looked at him, drank the milk in one breath and then shut the door.
Turn him off.
The third ring was taken off by me and, of course, I didn’t expect to redeem it.
Song has a very serious illness.
I know it’s strange that I didn’t know him very soon, but I tried everything to save him.
If it’s true, it’s probably that no one’s ever been so pure to me.
It’s as if everyone’s feelings are purposeful. He’s the only one who smiles for me.
I took him to a lot of hospitals. It’s not good.
The annoying thing is that Shen Yanzhi followed me.
It’s a ghost.
He said that he was able to provide the best medical care to Xong Xing and asked me to stop.
I don’t care about him.
But every day, the health of Song Xian Star is deteriorating.
He started to lose his way, coughed blood in front of me or fainted.
In the end, Sung has been staying in Shen Yanzhi’s room.
His body is getting worse.
There were several heavy rains in June, and one evening, when they fell down.
On the eve of the absence of sunset and sunset, Song has left.
There was always a lot of difference in life, and that morning he and I had an appointment to see the seagulls at the Moon Park.
What does Song have to mean to me?
I just met him.
I shouldn’t be angry and sad.
I have nothing to lose.
I didn’t cry that day. I sat in his room for a long time.
I just lost the last person I could lose.
That’s all.
I don’t know.
“You see, you’re just me. I’m sorry.
And suddenly, on the third day of Song’s absence, Shen Yon knew leaned on the door and handed me milk.
He was wearing a black windie, and he was always like this, and he looked so well dressed.
Who knows what rots inside.
The man looked down at me and drank the milk a little bit, and then he used to rub my head.
I ran away.
In fact, she has a mole at the end of her eye.
I looked at him, and I looked at him.
Does he know Song is dead? Does Song have anything to do with his death?
The asphalting of the sun’s rain, pouring into the room.
The man looked down at me for a moment and kissed me later.
I hate the body that he knows, the temperature that’s left over.
Mouth grinding, heart ringing like a drum.
“Shen Yanzhi, I’ll take you to hell. I’m sorry.
“I’m in hell, Miss Qin. I’m sorry.
19
I married Shen Yon Zhi and received false blessing from family and friends.
He’s turned to me, no matter what I ask.
I just said it was too hot and he took me to New Zealand on the other side of the planet.
There is indeed a snow mountain that will not melt for a year, and it is in winter.
“Is it cold?”
I was already surrounded by him on three floors, and he was going to put a scarf on me and get away from me.
Behind you comes his smile.
“Why are you like a bear? I’m sorry.
“…”
The air will condensate into a fog, and we live in a hotel at the foot of Mount Cook.
It looks like a house for high-end people, with all kinds of equipment, which at this time is a low-season tourist season, but also meets one or two people in hotels.
“Where do you want to go tomorrow? I’m sorry.
And when he casts the butter on bread with a long finger knife, then We shall make it crooked and twisty, but he will be pleased.
He ended up groaning and switched me to his dinner plate.
The shopkeeper had a hound, and it looked pretty vicious, but it got along for a few days, and I realized it was a food-for-the-tail-wielding dick.
So I changed Shen Yanzhi’s bread to my plate and threw it to the dog.
The men across the street obviously didn’t think I would.
Shen Yonzhi’s legs are under the table and I’m on top of them.
I’m not messing with you, are I, Qin?
“…”
I’m tired of responding to him. The blizzard outside the window is better than last night.
The thick snow in the yard can leave no human knees, and many passengers are out there playing with white snow.
In the hotel’s brochures, the stories of the mountain range come from thousands of years ago.
In addition to the local Maori language, there is also an English version.
I read it with my own eyes.
The pamphlet said that on the way to the mountains, where the peaks are about to be reached, it might be possible to find elfs representing good luck.
It’s a boring story, and I looked at it and put it aside.
But Shen Yonzhi has been banging on my ears and making me a little annoying.
“If you’re free, why don’t you show me this? I’m sorry.
In fact, this is nothing but a pompous word that I say when I am impatient.
But he stunned for a second and saw the brochure, and his eyebrow swung.
“Does any wish come true? I’m sorry.
“…”
I’m suffocating.
I didn’t think he was going to go to the mountain, but there were a couple of hikers at the hotel who were running to the top of the mountain. Shen Yanzhi was with them.
I don’t know how this guy turned out to be like this. He used to be stable and now because of my words…
After all, it was a snow mountain, and there were lots of professional tools to prepare, and I looked at him with my arms on the door when he packed his bags at night.
Shen Yanzhi pulled the zipper to the top, and the black eyes that were exposed seemed to be wet because of the snow.
I’m not interested in climbing, so I don’t go with them.
His eyebrow bends.
“What, I can’t leave? I’m sorry.
“…”
“I hope you die halfway, and never come back. I’m sorry.
I looked at him hard, but he just laughed.
Walking over and rubbing my head.
“Come on, listen, there’s something you can say that’s easy. I’m sorry.
“…”
20
Shen Yen knew the day they left, the weather was good.
The sun reflected in the snow, and there were a few sharp eyes.
So I can’t even see right in front of me.
Shen Yanzhi said let me wait for him.
I grunted, I didn’t care, I turned back to the hotel.
With Shen Yanzhi gone, I was free, at least he was not attached to me, and I could do whatever I wanted.
There’s a lot of people in the hotel. I met a little sister.
About 16, 7 years old, came here with his family during the summer.
But in the morning, there was no sky, and in the afternoon the clouds covered the mountains.
In the evenings, the snow stormed, and the dark environment did not see any light.
It was just a matter of time before Shen Yen knew that the journey had taken place.
In any case, several families are saying that they can’t be reached, and it is not clear that the signal has suddenly disappeared.
The hotel lobby was crowded, and the staff said that they would not be in a hurry. Several of them were experienced climbers, and the ability to deal with the storm was much better than the average.
Let’s not say if they’re dead or not, even if they’re waiting for a search and rescue team, they’ll get them tomorrow morning.
But the mood in the restaurant was getting more dreary, and the 16-and-seven-year-old girl was eating next to me.
Her parents, they seem to be in the climbers.
Xiao Yin, where have you been? I’m sorry.
A gentle and gentle voice of a woman suddenly sounded in my ear, because it was a national language, so I lifted my head.
I looked at the lady for a second or two.
She looked at me a little bit.
Are you, Qin Qin?
“…”
I was surprised she knew my name and raised her eyebrow.
You don’t remember me. Lin Xiaojun, we’re old classmates! I’m sorry.
“…”
The first time someone remembered what happened in high school, I shrunk.
But that sense of fragmentation.
I tried so hard to find the faces of the bullies, but I couldn’t find them.
It’s a blur. All five of them seem to have been mixed up.
“Well, we had a good time in high school. I’m your front desk. I gave you so many snacks, don’t you remember me? I’m sorry.
“You were so close to Shen Ri Xin. I’m sorry.
“Are you still with Shen Yonji?”
“It’s a shame that you’re in second grade, and we didn’t have time to take a graduation picture, and everyone likes you…”
I don’t know.
I feel the brain buzzing.
The woman who stood here, listening to her voice, seemed unconscious.
Shen Ri Xin, Shen Yanzhi.
Best friend.
Favorite man.
The noise of the brain conceals all hearing.
I was just holding on and then I ran back to my room.
It sounds like a woman calling me, I don’t care.
Me and Shen Yen are in a double bed, where the luggage is scattered and the bed head warmths.
I hold my head, and then I shrink in the corner.
Breathe, breathe.
I wanted to stop shaking and then pull my phone out of my pocket.
I can’t hold it steady, my phone’s on the ground again.
Why don’t you just lie down at that point and open a search box and search Yongzhou high school.
Retrieving news by time.
The shivering fingers crossed one by one until the sight fell on a forum many years ago.
“How come there’s a police car at our school tonight? I’m sorry.
“Yes, there was an ambulance. I saw it in the window. I’m sorry.
“What is it, in detail? I’m sorry.
“A girl was brought out in blood. I’m sorry.
“What class, which class?”
“I can’t say that. I can only say that. I’m sorry.
“Don’t sell it? What the hell is this, a premeditated murder? I’m sorry.
“I tell you, it’s worse than that. I’m sorry.
“Then tell me what happened or not. I’m sorry.
“I’m afraid I’m going to offend you. Forget it. I’m sorry.
“…”
Actually, there’s nothing to say.
I looked down at my stomach.
Think about it. I thought I was pregnant that day.
I’ve had a bad period, and vomiting is a common feature of summer heat.
The point is, I didn’t even use a pregnancy test, so I assumed I was pregnant.
Don’t you think it’s ridiculous?
I’m so sure I’m pregnant.
But in fact.
I can’t even get pregnant again.
Two.
Man is always a creature that is difficult to face.
I think, in fact, I lied to myself a lot of times before.
That’s why when I think about the truth, I feel like I’m blowing up.
Why are my memories always intermittent?
Why was it that day that I remembered Shen Ying burned my cigarette butt but couldn’t remember what happened last?
Why is she staring at me and telling me to drink that milk?
Why is it so strange to thank Willow and Song for their presence?
Why are all his friends calling me psycho?
I don’t know.
I went through the cruelest, bloodiest, most violent thing in my life on that beautiful summer of my senior year.
At first, it was just a few school-based air-conditioning workers asking me for directions.
Just so, I didn’t do anything, just tell them the right way.
Suddenly a man laughed and dragged me into the men’s toilet.
From the final red light of the late evenings to the Hirano of the starlight.
For three hours, I have endured cruel torture that cannot be described as humane.
Is it really Shen Yan-sik?
Did you really hit her?
Milk from the top is really milk?
Later I heard from the police that it was someone in that scum who did this nonsense.
Then they were all caught, but I sat in the ward every day and cried.
I couldn’t cry until I looked at myself in the mirror every day.
Shen Yanzhi was my boyfriend.
But how should I face him?
I don’t deserve to face him.
I really can’t talk to him. I really want him to abandon me.
Really, don’t look at me anymore. I’m not good enough for you.
I’m a coward, a coward.
At the end of the day, I chose to use evasion to solve everything.
If Shen Yanzhi does not wish to leave me, then make him an evil man.
Then just impose on him all the disgusting things I’ve been through.
In this way, he will surely not be able to stand me, and he will one day not be able to endure this incoherence.
Just like Shen Ri Xin.
I used to be my best friend, Shen Ri Xin.
Think of her as someone who tortured me and keep her away from me, that’s all.
I waited for Shen Yen to abandon me.
But I always forget, over and over again.
I imagine you’re a bad person.
Don’t you feel humbled, Shen Yanzhi?
Why don’t you throw me out, Shen Yanzhi.
22
I couldn’t see until tears fell on my phone screen.
Suddenly someone was crouching next to me.
It’s Song.
I’m the one who imagined Song.
Now that he’s there, it’s probably because Shen Yenji is gone and I’m not taking my medication.
In fact, there’s a lot of evidence to follow.
The pills are in the milk.
For example, thanks to Willow’s presence because I’m so noisy I don’t want to eat the medicine, and when it breaks, I start to think.
For example, on the day I got pregnant, Shen Yanzhi promised me not to drink my milk with medicine.
For example, the night Song took me away, I snuck down the medicine for days.
Then Shen Yen Zhi forced me to take my medication.
Song’s body began to deteriorate.
Because I slowly stopped imagining.
And then Song suddenly appeared again and he always smiled at me.
He laughed like Shen Yen knew.
I always felt like he was gonna tell me something.
I followed him to Shen Yanzhi’s luggage.
I didn’t care what he brought, and suddenly I went crazy.
Until we find a book.
Coward.
It says.
“The Medical Journal of the Secretary-General. I’m sorry.
23
5.11 Sun
I’ve lost my memory again today.
This time, she assumed that I was the one who bullied her.
You know, every time I get a role, I get a bad one.
You can’t imagine me as your savior.
I’m dying.
I don’t know.
5.12 Sun
The cigarette’s on the wrist. It still hurts.
But my heart hurts even more when I think of the pain you suffered.
Sir.
I didn’t lie to you.
If you can’t share your pain.
That’s as good as you suffer.
I don’t know.
5.15 Day off
A little angry.
This little girl’s got the guts to pour milk over my head.
..even though I fell back.
I usually fed her milk because her medicine was well diluted into milk.
But she doesn’t drink now.
Not good.
I don’t know.
5.18 Sun
Well, I still feel like I have to feed.
As before, you’re beginning to imagine people who don’t exist.
This time she assumed the role of a woman named Yoo.
This isn’t the martial arts game in high school.
And you gave me a name.
I don’t know.
The doctor said we have to cooperate with you.
Plum.
I’m about to become a movie star.
I don’t know.
5.27 Sun
You don’t feel like putting a pillow in your clothes.
So you’re pregnant?
We actually saw it.
Sir.
You’re so cute.
I don’t know.
6.1 Sun
I don’t know.
Yes, sir.
My sister comes to the house at night and something’s wrong.
I guess it’s because she didn’t take her medication for a few days and she’s starting to think.
But I didn’t think she’d stab herself with a knife on the table.
Something in your mouth is probably going on again.
You stabbed me while I was hugging you.
You were shaking your head and turning your eyes.
The situation was too urgent.
I didn’t expect you to remember.
Next time I’ll slap you back.
Okay?
I don’t know.
6.4 Sun
He woke up from the hospital and broke his diary for a few days.
Okay, I’m bleeding too.
Your stings are really not a place.
6.5 Sun
He’s ignoring me.
I don’t want to keep a diary.
6.8 Rain
Yeah.
I can only sneak up to your bed in the middle of the night.
Because you hate me.
6.9 Rain
It’s okay.
I’m not afraid of you anymore.
6.13 Sun
He ran away. He ran away alone.
I’ve been pissed off for a long time.
Then I found her.
She’s been holding something, Song has a star.
All right.
You’ve got me figured out.
I don’t know.
6.20 Rain
I can’t stop taking my pills.
To be honest, I can’t be mad at her.
I can’t get mad at her if she fucks with me.
Then she sneaked into a house and she lived in it every day.
Watch her take her medication.
I don’t know.
6.25 Rain
Snips, Song’s got a real problem.
I’m jealous of someone who doesn’t exist?
I don’t know.
7.1 Day rain
After a month of tireless efforts,
Take your medicine.
Song has finally left her mind.
Sir.
Don’t get upset.
You can look at me.
I don’t know.
7.6 Sun
He’s a good boy.
Good girl.
I don’t know.
She’s like this, so I don’t think it’s going in the right direction.
I don’t know.
7.16 Sun
What can I do to show you me?
Forget it.
Dude, I’m so optimistic.
I don’t know.
7.29 Snow
To New Zealand.
Looks like she likes to play out?
You know what?
You laugh.
You’re bending.
I was so happy.
I don’t know.
8.2 Sun
You want that elf.
Don’t say it’s the elves. It’s the stars.
I can take it off you.
You know what?
My wish is that you be happy.
Just be happy.
Those memories, forget them.
They’re not worth it.
Compared to our happiness.
Never worth mentioning.
I don’t know.
Here comes the diary, and it stops.
The snow was flying out of the window all night, screaming through the window.
Yeah, today’s August 3rd.
How can you have time to take a diary?
You’re in the snow, aren’t you, Shen Yanzhi.
And the mountains were shaking, and We could not discern the wind that would blow the soul.
They said, “Avalanche over there.”
They say we still have a team in that mountain.
They said call the rescue team.
I don’t know.
And the snow covered the mountains, covering the eyes of men.
I suddenly remembered you were walking last night and touching my head.
You said:
“Come on, listen, there’s something you can say that’s easy. I’m sorry.
Black-pressed mountains, no white snow.
I ran out of the hotel, but it was far away.
Snow is huge, especially.
I kneel in the snow.
Crying.
I’ve read your name countless times.
24
Do you remember?
Outside the room, the girl looked up at me with her arms.
Shen Rie looked at me.
“Do you remember I’m your old best friend? I’m sorry.
“…”
“I didn’t say anything that day. You were crazy. I’m sorry.
“My brother took a few stabs to stop you. I’m sorry.
“…”
“You and my brother were married, four years ago. I’m sorry.
“Well, I told you so much, you might forget it all. I’m sorry.
The girl was suffocating, Shen Ri Xin hated me, I know.
After all, she’s so proud of her character that she can’t be misunderstood.
I pushed the room.
Shen Yanzhi is still in a coma.
I sat next to him, scrambling his eyebrow.
From the nosebones to the thin lips.
Late at night, his sister was gone and I stayed by his bed for days.
The devil made the gods fall down, and kissed his lips.
It’s like I’m being answered.
I opened my eyes.
And in the night, the eyes of Shen-Yon know are dark, dark and dark.
“Crying again?”
“The little crybag. I’m sorry.
And We heard his voice, and it was soft and dazzling.
I remember when I was in high school. I didn’t get a good test. I cried so hard.
He pinched my face and said I was a crybaby.
I cried even more when I thought of it.
Say his name over and over again.
“Hey, hear that. I’m sorry.
He’s got a laugh in his mouth and a hook in my finger.
“Shen Yanzhi, I’ve stood in hell long ago. I’m sorry.
“I don’t deserve you to do so much for me. I’m sorry.
The unrecoverable memory is true, and my body is broken, and I have been wrapped up in darkness.
But he didn’t.
“The ones who bullied you were already punished.” I’m sorry.
“They were targeted by their enemies shortly after they went to prison. I’m sorry.
“In a few months in prison, they died. I’m sorry.
“They were already acting strange when they left. I’m sorry.
“So, it’s okay. You’re a good girl. You’re cleaner than anyone. I’m sorry.
“It is they who are unclean, and they have been recompensed. I’m sorry.
“You said you were in hell, okay. I’m sorry.
“It’s all right. Shen Yanzhi will walk with you. I’m sorry.
“Anywhere. I’m sorry.
(concluded full text)
Quantified
In the afternoon of the sophomore year, Shen Young-sun and Qin had a fight.
The noise was disturbing, and that afternoon, because neither of them was able to lift his face, he did not go home together.
Shen Yanzhi fell in the classroom when he finally made the third physical question.
He pulled out his cell phone and texted her.
“It’s cool to say you don’t give a shit. I’m sorry.
“Don’t answer the news, okay, never again. I’m sorry.
“…”
The sound of the ambulance was suddenly crossed from the window.
He’s staring at the wheel.
Then he took his cell phone and followed the crowd who loved to see what was going on.
The phone also shows the last messages he sent.
“Shuss, who’s got a temper for you? I’m sorry.
“Ha ha ha ha, it was me. I’m sorry.
“Put a six and I’ll make you laugh. I’m sorry.
…file number: YX11nRAKmdO
I don’t know.
Keep your eyes on the road.
