He accidentally saw my boyfriend’s phone, and he sent my little essay to her colleague.
They laughed, “What’s wrong? A lot of wrong words. Help. I’m sorry.
“Isn’t she going to break up first? What is this now? That’s the truth. I’m sorry.
“Bye bye-bye. Next is a better brother. I’m sorry.
And my boyfriend told her, “It’s really annoying. I’m sorry.
Then he changed countless numbers and sent hundreds of messages asking me to forgive him.
And We had no choice but to tell him, “You and your little writings are indeed too annoying.” I’m sorry.
One.
I had plans for the eighth anniversary of love.
When Qin Xu came to pick me up, he didn’t look good.
In addition to cold and cold anger, there are a few subtle expressions of jealousy.
I took his arm and asked, “Are you still mad at me?” I’m sorry.
He spat his lips, and his voice dazzled: “No, he wondered what to eat at night. I’m sorry.
“I’ve booked the restaurant, I’m sure it’ll suit your taste, and I’ve bought a night movie ticket, and I’m just in time for dinner…”
After that, I began to share the latest work and life.
Almost all the time I’m talking on the way, and Qin Xu will only say once in a while that he’s listening.
That’s what I’ve been saying since high school, in front of him.
But I know he loves me. It’s just natural.
Even after graduating from university, Qin Xu gave up a stable state enterprise and chose to join a start-up company because he wanted to give me a better future.
In the restaurant, I gave a gift, a gift, to MacBook.
“That one’s a little stuck, and you can’t afford to buy a new one…”
I firmly say, “Qin Wuk, we’re going to have a better life. I’m sorry.
The crystal chandelier in the restaurant was lit and, in that instant, his eyes were shining.
In the end, he just looked, “Age, closed his eyes, reach out, surprise you.” I’m sorry.
I did what I said, and my heart started to consciously accelerate.
In the dark, the hearing becomes sharper and the sound of the violin is heard.
For a moment, I almost thought Qin Xu would propose to me.
Open your eyes and fall into my hand. It’s a light-handed microcam.
“Don’t you always want to learn photography? There will be equipment later. I’m sorry.
It’s not cheap, it’s what I want for a long time.
But in that moment, my first feeling in my heart was not surprise, but loss.
It’s late after the movie.
I lived outside with Qin Xu.
He went to the bathroom to take a bath, and I sat on the couch, and my eyes wandered all the way down, and suddenly I fell on the bedside.
I took his cell phone there.
Click to write a message and see the top-up dialogue box.
The note Qin Xu gave her was about Vi.
Turn up, slide through dozens of working conversations, and a screenshot jumps into my eyes.
Qin Xu is a man with a strong sense of boundaries. I’ve been following his rules very harshly for years.
We crossed the border a half month ago, and we had a fight.
Qin Xu was so angry that he even deleted my tweets.
I cried so much in the middle of the night, I shivered, I texted him, and I made a long, long speech.
Be not angry with him, and forgive me.
But he sent this to him.
He said, “It’s really annoying. I’m sorry.
He said that Wei sent him a face bag and laughed, “Do you want to be a primary school student?” A lot of wrong words. Help. I’m sorry.
“Didn’t she mention breaking up first? What is it now? Seriously, I’ve never seen a guy over the age of 16 write a little essay and die. I’m sorry.
“Bye bye-bye. Next is a better brother. I’m sorry.
Two.
Actually, it’s not the first time I’ve heard of Vi.
Before that, I and Qin Xu were pigeoned and I stood in front of the theatre and called him anxiously.
I didn’t know the person on the phone was a strange woman.
Qin Xu and our boss are in the small conference room, dealing with clients. I’m sorry.
She said, “What do you want? I’m sorry.
Can I help you?
That word sounded like a sarcasm, but her tone was natural.
I didn’t even know how to refute it, but some of them said, “Then let him call me back after the meeting.” I’m sorry.
OK, hang up.
The phone hung up.
I stayed and watched the crowd rushing into the theater.
There’s a couple not far away, and the girl is complaining: “Let’s get you out of here early. You see, you almost miss the opening.” I’m sorry.
The boy was so angry with her, “It’s good to catch up and I’ll be out early next time.” Don’t get mad at the baby. I’m sorry.
My heart is suddenly filled with sour emotions.
After all these years, Qin Xu has never done this to me, and every time he fights, I’m the one who gets soft.
But I’m used to it.
After all, I liked him first, and I wrote it in letters.
Even on his birthday, he was given a whole collection of my favorite poems on love.
He was finally moved.
“I can’t help you. I’m sorry.
At the end of the sunset, he was sitting in an empty classroom, writing a question, looking up at me.
“That’s all you want to do? All right, girlfriend. I’m sorry.
This relationship has been talking about college since high school.
After discovering the biggest secret of my life, and in order to be with me on a regular basis, he even changed his college of choice, abandoned the school he had long wanted to go to and came to the same city.
I keep it in my heart.
So many conflicts have occurred, and I will give up on my own initiative.
That night, I couldn’t see the long-awaited play.
It was not until late in the night that Qin Xu called me back: “Turn up and leave the company now. I’m sorry.
I bit my lips: “I called you, and a woman answered me and how did she get your phone?” I’m sorry.
“What kind of woman is Zhou Zhiqing? You speak politely. That’s my colleague. I’m sorry.
Qin Xu said, “I had a meeting, my phone was on the table, and she just picked it up. I’m sorry.
Understated and blocked everything I wanted to ask.
He’s a man with a special focus on the border, who hasn’t let me touch his phone for years.
But she can easily get his cell phone and pick up my phone with a very familiar mouth.
I couldn’t figure it out, and I couldn’t understand it, so I looked at Qin Xu’s phone address on the next date, and I wrote down her number.
And then all the way to her tweet.
There is a microblogging on Vi’s home page, where she holds a bouquet of roses, and smiles to the lens, and laughs with beauty.
A poem from Neruda: “He said to me, ‘You are the last rose in my barren land.’ I’m sorry.
This poem was written many years ago in a letter of love when I pursued Qin Xu with perseverance.
Now, he used it for another girl.
3
I couldn’t bear to ask Qin Xu.
Qin Xu has a big fire:
“Chou Qing, are you sick? Who told you to look at my phone and go to my colleague’s tweet? I’m sorry.
“Do you know it wasn’t me who wrote her tweet? She’s the one who’s dating Xue! I’m sorry.
“Neruda has been dead for decades. Is his poem only you can use? I’m sorry.
He’s the boss of their company and his boyfriend.
I’m standing here, and it’s hard to say, “But…”
“It’s nothing, but you told me to respect my privacy and not my phone. I’m sorry.
The eyes of his loathsome eyes were sour and his tears fell: “Do you want to break up with me?” I’m sorry.
“Chou Qingqing, that’s what you said. I’m sorry.
Qin Xu took out his cell phone and deleted my tweet in front of me, “Don’t contact me again when you have a bone.” I’m sorry.
When I went back, I cried for a long time, and I didn’t think I should look at his phone and misunderstood him because of a poem.
So that night, I wrote him a long text to apologize.
“I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have seen your phone, I shouldn’t have misunderstood you and other people because I wanted it so much I won’t do it again, please don’t want me.” I’m sorry.
Qin Xu used to love it, and I wrote him love letters, and I copied them to him, and he kept them for years.
But now he told another woman I was so annoying.
A sharp and severe pain came out of the tip of the heart, and my hand began to shake and almost to hold a steady cell phone.
The sound of water in the bathroom stopped sometime.
“What are you doing with my cell phone?” I’m sorry.
I went back to my head.
Qin Xu has a wet hair and his face is undisguised.
His eyes were on my tears and his voice was down: “What are you crying for?” I’m sorry.
I raised my cell phone with my shaking hands: “Did you send my text to your colleague? I’m sorry.
The sound was full of tears.
In fact, when I read about Wei’s unbridled and shamelessly laughing at me, I was swallowed up by my heart.
“If you don’t like me sending you these, tell me I won’t do this again. Why send it to someone else?”
“Is it fun for you to complain about me and watch her mock me? I’m sorry.
And when it comes to the last sentence, I almost yell.
“Calm down, it’s outside. I’m sorry.
Qin Xu was standing still, a few steps away, and he didn’t even intend to come, but he said,
“You were spying on my phone and asking me about it? Do you respect privacy? I’m sorry.
I said, “If I didn’t look at your phone, I wouldn’t know you said that behind my back.” I’m sorry.
“That’s not it. I’m sorry.
And he began to explain,
“That fight was about to catch up with the project, and I was upset about the two things, so that wasn’t just about you. I’m sorry.
Qin Xu has paused.
“Stop crying, will you, old man?”
For a long time after he first fell in love with Qin Xu, he always faced me in cold and cold, and even if there were no dates, he would only call me by name.
Nobody called me my name since my dad died.
My mother remarried as she wished, and feared that her stepfather would not be good enough for her, she pressed me and made me suffer.
Even if my step sister burned my favorite collection of poems, she’d just cover my mouth and yell at me so badly:
“Chou Qing, look who’s here and whose house you live! Can’t you save me a snack? I’m sorry.
I cried in front of Qin Xu when I had a fight with my mother at night.
As if he were a bit surprised and confused, so he held me in his arms, so he whispered, “Don’t cry, old age.” I’m sorry.
4
I saw the Qin Xu in front of me, and the tears fell even worse.
He came over and held me.
I made a little, I didn’t.
“Age, I have no intention of mocking you.” She’s not very good at talking, and I’ll never tell her about us again. I’m sorry.
Qin Xue stopped for a while, “and I’ll be told after Wei and Xue had a fight. I didn’t think about it at first. I’m sorry.
His warm hands fell behind my back, and he touched.
“Sorry. I’m sorry.
And We did not see it buried under the surface of this phrase, but it was a shadow and discomfort.
It’s just that in his familiar gestures and his soft explanations, the sorrows were also slightly balanced.
I’ve always been like this before Qin Xu.
I was lying in the bedroom, the door was unlocked.
After his father was drunk, he came in silently.
I struggled, but I could not beat him.
It was not until the nightingale turned to the chest that it finally found the emptiness, dumped him and started screaming.
When my mom came in, he explained that he was drunk and in the wrong room.
I was cuddled up and shivering in the corner of my bed:
“You lied! I called you uncle! Besides, your daughter lives next door. Why didn’t you go to her room? I’m sorry.
And then my mom slapped me.
“Chou Qingqing, will you stop it?” * In front of her stepfather, she shouted at me, “You’re a girl, what a name! Who would have come to your room? I’m sorry.
There was thunder and rain.
I packed up and ran out, and I had nowhere else to go.
He took me home and brought me hot water: “What happened? Why are you crying? I’m sorry.
Qin Xu was the last life-saving straw I was able to catch, and I told him about it with an almost desperate mind.
And when he spoke of the last few words, he reached out and took me into his arms: “Age.” I’m sorry.
“Don’t be afraid, my parents work in the field, and you’re living in my house. I’m sorry.
He wasn’t hot for me in love.
But then, in his warm embrace, I suddenly felt that he must have loved me.
At least at that moment.
There is no need for him to do anything more, but to think of that time, in my most painful days, he was by my side and could be crushed by more pain and discomfort.
Now I’m in his arms, whispering:
“I won’t be angry with you anymore, and you won’t talk to me about anything other than work, okay? I’m sorry.
Qin Xu’s hand stopped behind my back.
Then he said, “Okay. I’m sorry.
5
I’ll see you soon.
A month later, on a very early Friday afternoon from work, I went to Qin Xu’s company to find him.
He was led into the front door by his sister, but saw his position empty.
“Oh, why isn’t he here? I’m sorry.
The front-office sister was surprised, “I just saw him buy coffee with Viv. I’m sorry.
I looked back at her and said, “What about Vi?” I’m sorry.
I think my eyes were too scary. She was two seconds late to explain:
“I’ve been working late at night, and Vivie and the Qin workers have been working together, so I took them out with me…”
She was talking, and there were two faces in the back corner of the corridor.
One is Qin Xu.
One is a woman with a beautiful face in a black hammock dress, which is very different from that microblogging picture.
It’s about Vi.
Maybe it’s because of work all day, Qin Xu’s hair is a little messy, and the buttons of the first hen were unbuttoned.
They walk together, close, like a close lover.
But the smile on Qin Xu’s face, when he saw me, suddenly disappeared.
“Your girlfriend is here to see you. I’m sorry.
The front-office sister finished, turned away.
Qin Xu stood in place, a few steps away, and looked at me in the dark: “Why did you suddenly come to our company?” I’m sorry.
– Come pick you up from work and eat together.
It’s stuck in my mouth, but I can’t spit.
And lo! when we were exposed to the kind of coldness implied by the sight of Qin.
He thinks I’m here to check.
“Do you remember what you promised me? I’m sorry.
And wait for Qin Xu’s answer, and suddenly his discourse came out laughing.
“What did you promise, Qin Xu?”
She smiled and said, “Shake her head.”
“Why don’t you hurry up or I’ll have to go back to you next time I hear from you in the middle of the night. I’m sorry.
Qin Xu wrinkled his brow and seemed a little angry: “Don’t talk nonsense.” I’m sorry.
It’s like rebuke, but it’s soft and helpless.
It’s like the tide is about to swallow me.
In a near suffocation, I had to suffocate my heart so that I would not be completely disoriented in such a place.
Until Wei comes to me, stops, pulls his lips together.
Saying with a sound like a whisper: “Be not so nervous. I cannot see a man whom you see as a treasure. I’m sorry.
Then she turned her back and turned her head towards Qin, and said: “Stand down, I’m waiting for you. I’m sorry.
After Wee left, there was only Qinhu and me in the big office.
She smells of sweet perfume, which remains in the air even when people leave.
I was in this fragrance and suddenly lost all my strength.
Qin Xu, you lied to me.
And I looked at him, shaking my lips, and I could no longer crush the loud cry,
“You promised me you wouldn’t have contact with her outside of work. I’m sorry.
“This is a working contact. I’m sorry.
He’s gawking, “What are you doing? I’m sorry.
Yeah?
Just between colleagues?
So why are you so happy when you walk with her?
It’s like natural and harmonious, creating a world where no one else can walk in?
Then I asked him a moment of silence: “Do you want to break up with me, Qin Xu?”
“Age! I’m sorry.
The Qin Qin Qin Qin Qin Qi Qi Qi Qi Qi Qi Qi Qi Qi Qi Qi Qi Qi Qi Qi Qi Qi Qi Qi Qi Qi Qi Qi Qi Qi Qi Qi Qi Qi Qi Qi Qi Qi Qi Qi Qi Qi Qi Qi Qi Qi Qi Qi Qi Qi Qi Zi Zi Zi Zi Zi Zi 秦 秦 I’m sorry.
Look at me crying. He’s crying.
“Stop it, will you? We’ve been walking together for eight years. How many years can we have? I’m sorry.
“Don’t use these useless things to wear off. I’m sorry.
“Don’t you always want to see aura light? I’ll take you when this is done. I’m sorry.
He mentioned the last eight years, and he dragged me into memory.
He and I have been studying, working part-time and working together for four years at the University, just to make things better in the future.
When I can’t get through it, I’ll spend the night with Qin Xu and get a short breath in the alone warmth.
Because of that summer stepfather thing, I was very resistant to intimacy.
Qin Xu didn’t force me.
So we just lay together in the big bed of a cheap hotel, thinking about the future.
I said I wanted to go to the beach, I wanted to go to Iceland to see the aurora, and I wanted to think of days that were less difficult.
Qin Xu will hold my hand and promise, in an almost solemn word, “Age, we will have a good future.” I’m sorry.
I always believed him.
Even now, when some dark currents have been detected.
Maybe because we’ve been together for eight years.
Or subconsciously, no one in the world but Qin Xu loves me so much.
So I grabbed him like a straw, as if I had been a bit slow, pretending I had not noticed the subtle obscurity between him and Wei.
Six.
When winter came, Qin Wuk suddenly told me:
“The project is a success. The company has arranged to go to Iceland to build it. I’m sorry.
Maybe it’s my fault he sounded a little weird.
And We waited for a moment and said, “Okay. I’m sorry.
But I didn’t make it.
Because one day from the departure, my mother suddenly called and said she was sick, let me go home, and maybe I’ll see her last.
She said it was so serious that I had packed at Qin Xu’s, and after the phone was answered, he and I were silent.
And for half a day I whispered, “I will not go with you when I go home.” I’m sorry.
Qin Xubai said, “Okay. I’m sorry.
Maybe I’m too selfish.
In that moment, I really wanted him to say that he was not going to go, and he would come home with me to see my mother.
But he didn’t say anything.
Before I got on the plane, Qin Xu sent me a message: “It’s a shame to get on the plane and not go with you.” I’m sorry.
I looked at the scenery that was moving backwards out the window and tried to contain the loss:
“It’s okay, if you see it, take a couple of aurora photos for me. I’m sorry.
In fact, after two years of work, Qin Xu and I saved some money.
Otherwise, a trip abroad would be more than enough.
I just couldn’t help it.
Because I wanted to buy a house together, settle down in this city and have a long time with him.
So it doesn’t matter if you’re with him and you’re going to see it later.
I think so.
When I got home, I found out my mom was pretending to be sick.
She lied to me to get me to marry.
The other is the son of a business partner of his stepfather, who has a very poor appearance and a bad habit.
After I refused, my mom sank.
“Have you lived well with Qin Xu so long? That’s the condition at his house. I don’t know how many times better people I let you see. Zhou Qing, I’m your mother, will I hurt you? I’m sorry.
I looked at her face without shame, and suddenly I laughed.
“Did you ever hurt me less? I’m sorry.
The bang was the slap on my mother’s face.
“What have I done?” Why did you give birth to a daughter like you? I’m sorry.
And she used great strength, and my face was struck, and my ears were buzzing.
And We raised the upper mouth of the tongue, and We whispered, “If there was a choice, I would not be in your belly. I’m sorry.
“If you’re so incompetent, I’ll be your daughter. You get out of here today and don’t come back! I’m sorry.
My mother threw my suitcase outside the door and threw it out with me.
That’s ridiculous.
It was at this moment that I realized that, even if I had been treated so many times, I still hoped that she would love me when I promised my mother to come home.
But after all, it’s just my delusion.
I dragged my suitcase, walked down the street with my head in my head and took out my phone and called Qin Xu.
It’s like the rainy night when my stepfather harassed the door, and I need his response.
But the phone was ringing and there was no answer.
And in the end, I was standing in the light of the road, and the brain seemed to feel something, and it jumped.
The cell phone suddenly shook.
I came out with a message from a strange number.
A picture and a cold phrase: “Take care of your boyfriend.” I’m sorry.
Photos of men and women who are so beautiful as to be a godless aurora and kisses in the light.
Qin Xu peace talks to Wei.
The cell phone fell on the ground, and it was loud, and it was ringing in my heart.
This night, my mother and I got into a lot of trouble and got kicked out of the house and went on the street.
He’s in Iceland, twirling to extreme aura, kissing someone else.
That we have thought of the future many times together, and he has arrived first.
Just not with me.
And We made him the only salvation in life.
We spent the most difficult years together, saving money, even in hotels for eight years.
He finally saw the dawn and finally felt the better world he had dreamed of.
In fact, everything is a sign.
I thought he was gonna propose to me.
And he’s measuring whether to leave me.
7
From the purchase of a plane ticket to the plane on board Iceland, the brain has been in a state of confusion.
I was supposed to go with him.
The strange number that sent the photo added to my friend, Mr. Xue.
From many of his messages, I heard one, which is completely different from what I know.
Mr. Xue said that since university, Qin Xue had been in a quiet pursuit of talking about Vee and had even joined her in the start-up company.
Even if Wei and Boss Xue were in love, Qin Xue never gave up.
He said that the talk about Weibon was zealous and zealous. As long as they fought, she went to Qin Xu to stimulate him.
And he said a lot and a lot, and I can’t remember very well, but only the last sentence.
He said, “Is Qin Xu not your boyfriend?” You’re so slow, but how can you not find the grub between them? I’m sorry.
The headaches broke and my mother slapped me in the face and was still burning.
The stewardess has come down and whispered to me to shut down the phone.
I looked back at that from the window.
– You’re so slow.
Where’s the retard, just scared.
The plane landed, Mr. Xue sent an address: “The project is over, I will dismiss him, take him away. I’m sorry.
The finger stopped on the screen for a moment, and I took a deep breath and typed it with a tremor.
“I don’t want it either. I’m sorry.
As I stood in front of the hotel room, I was wondering how to talk to Qin Xu, which is not so pathetic.
But the door was open.
I didn’t expect two people in there.
And when I saw him in a bathrobe, and leaned on the door frame, I started laughing: “Ah, I came after him, and I didn’t feel good for you.” I’m sorry.
She went over her head and blinked at Qin Xue behind her:
“Yes, isn’t it true that a woman like this who seduced his stepfather and got kicked out of the house by his mother only caught you?” I’m sorry.
There was a loud sound in the ear, like the sound left by the moment the plane landed.
My heart is as floating as a cloud, with no dust of love, in such a loud noise, in the winters of Iceland and in the thin snow, it disappears.
“Don’t say that. I heard Qin Xu’s voice, his emotions, and his eyes on me were complicated, “It’s not her fault either. I’m sorry.
It’s not her fault.
Qin Xu…
I opened my mouth, and it was only a few days ago that I made a noise, “I was wrong, of course I was wrong. I’m sorry.
“My biggest mistake was not to leave you with determination when I first found you obstinate. I’m sorry.
I should have guessed.
He sent the flower of Wewberg, and he gave it to her.
On his eighth anniversary date, he came to me with envy and talked about Vifa Weibo, saying that Mr. Xue proposed to her.
That evening, I went to Qin Xu’s company to look for him, and he came back from the end of the corridor and I left on purpose to take a look over there, which is a hidden groceries room.
“Don’t look at me like that. Your boyfriend sent it himself. I’m sorry.
“My boyfriend sent you? Poor little sister. He asked you to come, hoping that you would take Qin Xu away, and that he would continue to be with me. I’m sorry.
Talk about shrugs, downplays,
“Why don’t you think about yourself, instead of hating me, how come none of the men in this world loves you?” I’m sorry.
The halls of light are soft and vague, and I see myself six years ago.
He wandered without purpose on the rainy summer night, and was brought home by Qin Xu.
He didn’t say he liked me, he didn’t say that I was important, but I always convinced myself that I didn’t have to say anything to express myself.
At least at the most desperate moment of my life, he was with me steadfastly.
I held the frame of the door, I barely stood up to my body and looked at Qin Xu in the light.
Maybe I’m just acting like I’m too coy, and the light in his eyes is shaking and it seems like I’m coming over.
I said, “Don’t come near me! I’m sorry.
“Think of my pain as a laughing stock for your beloved, Qin Xu. You’re a disgrace. I’m sorry.
I cried and laughed and said,
“You like her so much, you’re so jealous to watch her boyfriend propose to her. Why don’t you break up with me? I’m sorry.
“Yes, no one loves me. And you? No one wants you after your parents get divorced. How did you get out of the house with something? I’m sorry.
This is the most painful scar in his heart, and I have avoided it as far as I can over the years.
I thought that Qin Xu and I were like two beasts licking each other’s wounds and walking together for so many years, they were bound up.
But I forgot.
Accompaniment is also a lie.
Or, when a better choice emerges around him, a little company for him can be abandoned immediately.
I’ve been trying to convince myself that as long as I ignore the unusual places, as long as I pretend I don’t see him, the people who saved me will always love me.
But those love are fake.
Qin Xu’s face is white and his eyes are full of pain: “Age, don’t talk to me like that.” I’m sorry.
“Why can’t I talk like that? I’m sorry.
I didn’t mention it before. I was afraid he felt pain.
At this point, however, I only hate that he cannot experience the same pain as I do.
I wiped my tears and looked at him cold and cold, “Break up, Qin Xu, and I’ll spit out for another second.” I’m sorry.
8
I stayed up all night that night.
Standing in a blanket in front of the window, the snow of a strange country landed with fog, and dragged me back to the summer, six years ago, in complete contrast.
That night, I found Qin Xu in the storm.
After asking him intermittently what to do in the future, I sobbing in the corner.
It was as if he had hesitated for a while to say, “Don’t be afraid, I will be with you in the future.” I’m sorry.
At that time, I didn’t know what his hesitation was.
But this night, it seems like it’s all over.
And the night’s whiteness was not worn out, and it remained silent in the life of Qin.
As long as the colours that he thinks are unusual appear, it will immediately cease to belong to me.
The next day I went out in a thick coat.
I guess it’s hard to get here, but it’s the aurora I’ve always wanted.
It’s just that I didn’t think I’d meet someone who was familiar and strange when looking at the aurora.
“Chou Qingqing, this is Xue Zhou. I’m sorry.
He paused, “You haven’t seen me, but you should have received my text. I’m sorry.
I looked at him faceless.
She doesn’t seem to notice my apathy.
“Do you hate me? It took me two years to tell you the truth and to force you to choose, like me — I broke up with him and made this decision. I’m sorry.
“I walked with her for years. The worst thing I could do was when she was with me, so I could understand anything she did. I pretended to be blind and not to go deep, even if I found her with another man repeatedly. I’m sorry.
I know very well that he said “other men” and that was Qin Wuk.
It’s just this moment, looking at the eccentricity of the night with the stars, and I really didn’t want to talk to him about something so bad, so I turned around.
But Xue Chi called me back.
“You know why I never suspected Qin Xu? Because he had said so many times, he loved his girlfriend, and he was more interested in the project because he wanted to make money, buy a house and marry her. I’m sorry.
He said,
“It was also proposed by Qin Xu because I said I could bring my family. He stated that his girlfriend had always wanted to see aura light, but had been unable to spend so much money. I’m sorry.
Starlight.
The aurora in the sky moves like a wave.
My eyelashes trembled, and suddenly I cried.
What’s true, what’s false.
Even if I go all the way to the tip of the Earth, there is no answer.
9
Before leaving the snowboarding, Xue called me and asked, “Do you want to cooperate and at least take revenge on them?” I’m sorry.
I didn’t stop:
“There is no need. Much of the time has been wasted on him in the past, and it would have been too much to do with more energy. They don’t deserve it. I’m sorry.
“You’re right. I’m sorry.
I ran into Qin Xu at the hotel.
He saw me rushing over.
“Age, your phone doesn’t work, I don’t know which room you’re in, I…”
His eyes were right behind me, and his face suddenly turned white, and he said, “This is how you retaliate against me, is it?”
I turned back, and I saw Xue-chul coming up and handing me a hot water bag.
“You still have a bruise on your face. It’s better to put it on warm. I’m sorry.
He looked at Qin with indifference, and said, “Surrender your report, and when you return, the bonus and the salary will be settled.” Don’t worry, I’ve always been public and private. I’m sorry.
“Does it make sense?”
Qin Xu stood in place and said, “I can quit. Don’t mess with my girlfriend, she’s a simple person, unlike you.” I’m sorry.
I don’t understand.
He’s the one who hooked up with someone else, and he’s the one who’s been with him. Why is he still acting like he wants me?
“I won’t do anything like you because it’s disgusting. Don’t be mad, Qin Xu, you betrayed me first, you made peace with me, and now you’re pretending to love me? I’m sorry.
I said it in cold, over him, into the elevator.
Then Qin Xu followed up.
I stopped at the door and looked at Qin Wuk.
“You’ll have to go through the years in the Icelandic police this year. I’m sorry.
He looked at my cheek and whispered, “Did your mother hit you again?” I’m sorry.
“Does it concern you? I looked at him face to face, “I forgot to tell you that Xue-hye has broken up and now you’re both free. Go and find her. I’m sorry.
“…years old. “I don’t want to break up with you.” I’m sorry.
I closed my eyes.
And then when it opens, it turns from darkness to light so that I have a moment of faintness.
There’s a lot of noise in the snow outside the window, and the world is quiet.
In such a dizziness, I hear myself calming to the sound of wood:
“Qin Xu, I have given you many opportunities, so many times I asked you about the peace talks with Wei. You did not tell me the truth, nor ended with her.” I’m sorry.
“You sent her roses, you chased her with my love letter, you sent her my text message, you mocked her, you told her my most painful experience, and she let her distort the truth to humiliate me. I’m sorry.
“Now you tell me you don’t want to break up with me? I’m sorry.
This time, he was silent for a long time.
“I made peace with Vi not because I liked her. I’m sorry.
Qin Xu said, “Age, we’ve known each other too early, we’ve been together too long, but the days are so flat. I’m sorry.
“Every day, every day, it’s like a repeat of life. I’m just bored, and she just happens to be new and interesting, and I just want to see it, for a short while, and I’ll be right back. That day I drank, I saw the aura, and the atmosphere got there. I’m sorry.
“Age, I didn’t think I’d marry her. I wanted to marry you. I’m sorry.
He said a lot.
Indeed, with Qin Xu’s constant apathy, even eight years together, he has kept his mouth shut before me.
“The atmosphere is there, and you’re going to kiss her; if I’m late last night, you’re going straight to bed? I’m sorry.
I looked at Qin, and behold, he was so strange.
As if I remember the young man who sat behind the classroom in a cold state, and had seen Our love letter, and put it in a precious fold, was nothing but an illusion.
No, it’s not like that.
He’s an ordinary man, just once, and I like to put a filter on him.
“How many times do you lie to yourself?” Qin Xu, stop beautifying yourself. I’m sorry.
I took a deep breath.
“You were away from me because of a fresh feeling, and now you want to get it back, but it’s just like I love you, so it’s new to think I don’t love you. I’m sorry.
Qin Xu opened his mouth and seemed to want to counter it, but didn’t say anything.
10
When I got home, I took all the contacts with Qin Xu.
It’s not long before my birthday.
Before I went to Iceland, I had fantasies about how this birthday would be.
Even inside, there’s a little illusion that Qin Xue didn’t say anything about his proposal on the eighth anniversary, and he left it for my birthday?
In a sense, it is my duty to thank Xue Zhiu.
If it hadn’t been for his head, I would still have taken the small, pathetic relief of the past, even if it did not exist, but merely a self-help.
On my birthday, when I left work, I saw Qin Xu standing downstairs with a big cake box.
I’ve seen it, no stopping.
And he whispered to me, “Happy birthday, old age.” I’m sorry.
“Don’t scream so close, I’m sick of it.” I’m sorry.
Qin Xu is standing still and there is clear pain in his eyes.
It’s like he’s just pulling his mouth off and making a laugh:
“I know you hate me and it doesn’t matter, but at least take the cake — as you said, even if it’s small, it’s for every birthday. I’m sorry.
“Don’t bother. I ate before I got back. I’m sorry.
Walking a few steps forward, hearing him in the back, saying, “Did she give you that?” I’m sorry.
I don’t bother to answer.
After it was completely dark, it started raining again.
The rain of winter is cold and cold, and it blows in the wind.
I was standing on the balcony with a hot cup of cocoa, and some of it was amazing about that summer six years ago.
I ran out of my house in my clothes, with great despair and pain, and I couldn’t recall my mother’s slap on my face.
When Qin Xu found me and brought me back, I was all wet.
And now.
I looked down on the balcony, and the wind and the rain, and he stood there with the cake, and he didn’t move.
“…it’s sick. I’m sorry.
I finished my cup of hot cocoa and turned back to bed.
The next day, Qin Xu was gone.
At first I thought he had finally given up, but on Monday the company arranged for a medical examination and I ran into Qin Xu at the hospital on the wrong elevator floor.
It rained all night, he had a fever and hung water at the hospital.
When he saw me turn around, he took the needle out of his back and came after me.
“Age! I’m sorry.
The hospital came and a number of people looked this way in curiosity, and I slit my lips and took him to the corner window.
“What can I say soon? My colleague is waiting for me upstairs. I’m sorry.
I couldn’t bear to say, “Don’t expect me to feel soft and wet, you deserve it, Qin Xu. I’m sorry.
Qin Xu has lost a lot of weight. It’s a pretty face, and it’s full of frustration.
He looked at me and said, “I just wanted to see how you felt again. I’m sorry.
“When I found you in the rain, I thought, I must protect you, and my future life will be tied to you. But it was too long, and everything was flat, and I forgot, so I lost you. I’m sorry.
And the hand whereof he drew the needle leaned on his side, and a drop of blood dipped to his feet, and he sprung into a gushing stream on the radiant ground.
But Qin Xu looked at me like he didn’t feel pain.
“Age, can we start over again? I’ll come after you this time, I’ll write you a love letter…”
He closed his eyes and passed out.
People fainted on the floor of the corridor, making a sound.
I just looked naked and didn’t move.
Strangely, Qin Xu also had a fever three months ago, when I truly loved him, so I had to warn him to take his medication even at work.
Later, after work, I ran to their company to find him and sent him a few large boxes of medicine.
Qin Xu only wanted to see me downstairs, took the medicine, said he had to work late, let me go first.
I looked at his red face:
“Why do you have to work overtime when you’re so sick? Is your boss the devil? I can’t go up with you. I’ll talk to him.”
“Chou Qingqing. I’m sorry.
“I’m sick and I have work to do. Will you stop messing with me? I’m sorry.
And then, while I was in distress, I held on to my emotions, and I was worried that he was sick and working overtime.
Now, I see him fainting in front of me, and I see the doctor and the nurse rushing to the clinic and pushing people, and I feel nothing.
The nurse took a few steps and hesitated to turn back: “Are you a patient’s family?” He’s sick. Do you want to…?
“Oh, no. I’m sorry.
I laughed, “I was just passing by. I’m sorry.
Eleven.
When Qin Xu became ill, he began writing me love letters, changing numbers and sending long text messages, as I did in the past.
If I don’t answer, he follows me downstairs, standing silently, as if it were a silent sculpture.
“Don’t send any more messages and don’t follow me. I’m sorry.
I went over there and looked at him face-to-face, “I’m really tired of you and your little essay. I’m sorry.
What’s the point of doing this now?
“Age, I have nothing but you, always have. I’m sorry.
Qin Xu’s tone is like suffering.
“It is I who ignores this and thinks that the freshness is better than the long-standing aberration. Now I know it’s wrong. How can you forgive me? I’m sorry.
“I cannot forgive you, Qin Wuk. I’m sorry.
I’m cold.
‘Cause you didn’t just fail me, you had faith. I called you that night to put my last hope on you, and I appreciate it and I like you very much. In return, you chose to use it as a joke to talk about it. I’m sorry.
“You really, really disgust me. I’m sorry.
I don’t look at him any more, and I don’t look back.
Since that day, Qin Xu disappeared in my life.
But I’ll still hear something about him from Xue.
He told me that, after his dismissal, Qin Xu ‘ s career had been very difficult, and that he had been unable to find a decent job several times.
Later, when it was difficult to enter the job, the company had to pay a large sum of money because of the heavy losses caused by the leak of the programme.
This, together with the Internet era, has been widespread, his credibility has been seriously affected and it is probably difficult to find good jobs in the future.
I listened to him in silence and asked him, “Do you have anything to do with it?” I’m sorry.
He smiled and said, “I don’t know. I’m sorry.
I understand.
Maybe I’m really too jealous, or I’m just too short a day apart, and I haven’t put that down yet.
After hearing news of Qin Xu’s fall, I felt only happy.
“You don’t have to feel cheap. There’s something you can’t let go, and you shouldn’t have. I’m sorry.
He drank, told me about his past and his past.
“What if you were the first person I knew? I’m sorry.
And I heard the hint of this, and a moment of silence, and turned to the glass of wine, and said, ‘I have changed my work, and I will go to Shanghai next month.’ I’m sorry.
“Don’t tell me I’m hiding from me, I don’t feel that much. I’m sorry.
“Of course not. I’m sorry.
I shook my head, “I just wanted to move away from all this. I’m sorry.
My mom learned about our break-up and called and laughed:
“I told you, what will you do if you follow Qin Xu, a poor man? Zhou Zianqing, I won’t hurt you. Go home honestly. I’ll set you up. I’m sorry.
“I won’t go back, I won’t go back. I’m sorry.
I looked down and said to the phone, “You shouldn’t have given birth to me since you didn’t love me. I’m sorry.
“What are you talking about? Zhou Qing, do you have a conscience?
I hung up the phone and hacked her number before my mom yelled at me again.
In the fifth year I worked in Shanghai, I was promoted.
This year, when I was 30 years old, I imagined that she would have married Qin Xu and started a new and beautiful life.
She grabbed false love and gave herself a little sense of security.
It was a waste.
When spring came, I received an anonymous letter.
It’s broken, and it’s packed with rose petals and a handwritten copy of Neruda’s Last Rose.
Many years ago, I wrote an identical letter and snuck into the man’s drawer while in the school hall.
I think I know who sent it.
That is the thing in the hearts of a 16-year-old girl who can’t speak, and eight years of delusion.
At that time, I was so eager for someone to love me that I had to get something from someone to prove something.
And now I’m on a very different path from what I used to think.
It is not constructed of vanity and instability, but in another form, it is stronger.
I looked back and threw my hand-to-hand letter in the trash.
You don’t have to see each other for the rest of your life.
(complete) filing number: YXA1DpBolLxCO6QePjDcPdPz
I don’t know.
Keep your eyes on the road.
