I ran into a girl wearing a bath towel
at the home of a boy I had a crush on.
She should have just come out of the shower, her hair still dripping and her cheeks slightly pink. The door of the
master bedroom was still open, and there was an ambiguous darkness inside. It’s hard for
me not to imagine what happened between them.
I even faintly smelled a disgusting salty smell in the air.
Xiao Huai, the boy I have liked for ten years, had
sex with another girl today.
As long as ten years of unrequited love, at this moment, I finally gave up.
Xiao Huai had a car accident, his right leg was broken, and he had to lie down for at least a month. During
this period, he could not take care of himself and needed to be served.
Under my mother’s repeated urging, I took the cooked porridge to the hospital.
Xiao Huai is really rich, and he lives in a single ward. I couldn’t help sighing.
He was reading a book when he heard the noise and looked up slightly to meet me.
Not long ago, I vowed that I would never pester him again. As a result, Baba appeared in front of him two days
later. I stood in the doorway, a little embarrassed. I have said
similar things many times over the years, so that later, Xiao Huai has become immune to my so-called
“determination”, from the initial indifference and anger to the later indifference.
After I finished that day, I even saw a trace of contempt and ridicule in his eyes.
In fact, it is said to be many times, but it is really only three times. Every
failure and compromise makes him more determined that I can’t leave him.
But he didn’t know that every time I was really disappointed, my loss and sadness
were real, and the feeling of wanting to give up was real.
This time I really found that I didn’t seem to like him so much.
I didn’t want to come.
But my mother said, “You have free working hours, so you can take care of Xiao Huai.”. After
so many years as neighbors, Xiao Huai is also your elder brother, and the two children have to take
care of each other outside. With
my refusal still in my mouth, Xiao Huai’s mother took the phone again and gently
and gratefully asked me to take care of her son.
I said, “But Xiao Huai has a girlfriend.” Girlfriend? When did Xiao Huai have a girlfriend? The other side was surprised.
A few minutes later, my mother called me again. “Your aunt asked, and Xiao Huai said
he didn’t have a girlfriend. You made a mistake.”
「……」 He just doesn’t want to tell you yet.
The seafood porridge in the insulation bucket was poured out, and the whole room was filled with fresh fragrance in an instant.
When I handed him the bowl, he looked at me and took it in silence.
After just one taste, he realized something was wrong. “Did you buy it outside?”.
I nodded and sat down in a chair. “I came in a hurry and didn’t have time to cook.”
Xiao Huai pursed his lips slightly.
I said, “You can eat a little first, and I’ll make it for you next time.”
Xiao Huai does not like to eat outside food, first, feel unclean, and second, dislike the flavor
of seasoning is too heavy.
Seafood porridge is complicated to make, just four or five kinds of ingredients, but also to deal with shrimp whiskers and shrimp
lines, if in the past, I may indeed give him an hour or two in advance.
Not long after, Chen Qi came. In the dog days of summer
, panting from the sun on her cheeks, she smiled and said, “Xiao Huai, I
brought you some porridge. I made it myself.” I noticed that she was wearing a denim hip skirt. The reason
I care so much is that the first time we met, Hsiao Huai praised
her appreciatively, saying, “You are very suitable for wearing a skirt.” In sharp
contrast, when I was wearing a skirt in the same situation, all the other boys were staring at my thighs
. Only Xiao Huai frowned and said, “Why are you dressed so strangely?”
Because of this sentence, I seldom wear skirts until now. After
that, I thought hard about what kind of girl could get such a “suitable
” evaluation in Xiao Huai’s eyes. Finally came to the conclusion that Chen Qi is very thin, waist-to-hip ratio is very good, coupled
with a long black straight, what kind of skirt in her there can wear temperament.
For this reason, I worked hard to lose weight, starving myself emaciated and weak, and finally lost
less than 95 pounds. Chia-chia scolded me bitterly: “Your skin is whiter than hers, your waist
is thinner than hers, your chest is crisper than hers, and you have a beautiful swan neck. But no matter how men don’t have feelings for
you, they don’t have feelings for you. Don’t you understand?”
I know, but I can’t. The skirt
she is wearing now is very similar to the one I was disliked by Xiao Huai.
It’s short, and it wraps around the hip line perfectly.
Seeing Chen Qi’s dress, Xiao Huai’s eyes did not change at all.
Sure enough, it’s not the skirt that’s strange, it’s just the people.
“Thank you, but I just ate.” Xiao Huai put down the bowl. “Oh, yes.” Chen Qi was a little disappointed.
I took the insulated bucket and said, “It doesn’t matter. You can eat it on a hot night.”
So I don’t have to cook it.
I opened the lid and smelled it, thinking happily.
Xiao Huai glanced at me.
They were chatting, and I sat aside with my head down and played with my mobile phone.
Xiao Huai was obviously very considerate to Chen Qi and handed her a blanket to cover her legs.
I bent over the table and fell asleep unconsciously.
Xiao Huai doesn’t like me, and I always know it.
We knew each other so early that the image of me shaving a board inch and running around in a vest every day and being tanned by the sun
was deeply rooted in his mind. Until junior high school, I was
still a tomboy, so that to him, I was always the thin neighbor
‘s child, even the gender was vague.
Even though I grew long hair after high school and was praised
by many people for my growing figure, his impression of me remained unchanged.
The last time I felt frustrated, I probably heard him talking to Chen Chi about me and
teasing him lightly. “You mean Yao?”? Rabbits know not to eat grass near their nests. However, even so, I only dare to stand silently at the door with breakfast, adjust my mood
and then pretend to enter the door as if nothing had happened. I
was afraid that after the point was broken, I broke off the last contact with him. So
humble that even I think it’s funny.
A few days ago, I ran into Chen Qi in Xiao Huai’s room wearing only a bath towel.
She just came out of the bathroom, her hair was still dripping, her shoulders were white and smooth
, and she looked much more pure without makeup than after makeup.
We looked at each other, and there was a flash of consternation on her face. Then she gave a short cry of surprise and hid
behind Xiao Huai. The door of the
master bedroom was still open, and there was an ambiguous darkness inside.
I faintly smelled a disgusting salty smell in the air.
Xiao Huai, the boy I have liked for ten years, had
sex with another girl today.
Although she looked panicked, we both knew that it was me who was in a mess.
I maintained my last bit of decency and calmly handed over my cell phone. “Auntie couldn’t get in touch with you
, and she was in a hurry, so she called me.”
Hsiao Huai took one look at me. Without much emotion on his face, he took his cell phone and walked aside.
Hello? Mom, I’m here. He doesn’t care what I think.
I closed my eyes slightly and lowered my eyes so that I didn’t have to look at her.
It was this girl who, for a whole month, entered Xiao Huai’s house every morning and left at six or seven o’clock in the
evening. Occasionally, she met me and greeted me with a smile.
In the past, he never allowed girls to go in and out of his house, and I was an exception, but now there is no
exception.
Probably because of jealousy, I always felt that the smile was mixed with a touch of sarcasm and ostentation
. Am
I lucky she didn’t spend the night at his house.
At that time, I was still thinking.
I didn’t expect to be hit in the face so soon. After chatting
with his mother, Xiao Huai returned the phone to me, explaining, “I didn’t notice that the phone turned off automatically
.”
“Mmm.” I made sure I didn’t show too many facial expressions and said in a normal tone,
“Then I’ll go back.”
Hsiao Huai stared at me for a moment, his expression difficult to distinguish. “Good.”
I turned around, but was stopped by Chen Qi. “I drank too much last night,” she said with some embarrassment. “My clothes stink. I
don’t want to wear them. Can I borrow one from you?”
She curled her lips. “I think we’re about the same size.” After a pause,
I turned around and chuckled. “Yes.” When I
got back, I sat in the dark room for a long time. I
didn’t want to recall exactly how I spent that day. I only knew that people didn’t have much desire to cry
when they were really powerless. I know exactly what it means for a girl to take a shower in a single man’s house.
I don’t want to guess what happened between them and how it happened, but the
clips and images kept pouring into my mind, and by the time I came to my senses, my palms had been
pinched by myself.
Looking at the layers of fingernail prints in my palm, I suddenly felt very sad. After
that, I was going to put it down.
He even had plans to leave the city.
But two days later, Xiao Huai had a car accident.
…… When I
woke up, it was already night. I raised my head in a misty way and rubbed my sore arm
. “Where is Chen Chi?”
Hsiao Huai didn’t seem to be in a good mood, but he put it succinctly: “Gone.” I was still wondering if they were having a fight, so I watched Xiao Huai close his computer and pinch his eyebrows
. “Give me the urinal under the bed.”
I froze for a moment. OK
Xiao Huai lifted the quilt, revealing the blue and white striped sick pants on his lower body.
I didn’t dare to look. “Do you want me to leave?”
He had a half-smile.
“Whatever you want.” I have to accompany the bed
at night, so I look at Xiao Huai from time to time to see if he has any plans
to sleep. At
eleven o’clock, Hsiao Huai finally turned off the computer and said, “Bring me a hot towel so I can wipe
myself.”
“Wipe your body?”
Well, after the accident, he hasn’t showered in at least three days.
I came out with a towel, and Xiao Huai was unbuttoning.
With the exposure of chest and abdominal muscles, he took off the whole jacket, slightly thin but
not thin, smooth muscle lines. If it was before, my face was already red, and I wanted to see it but didn’t dare.
In the face of the man you like, who is not a little color embryo.
Xiao Huai took the towel and wiped his neck and arms. The
strong chest rises and falls slightly with the breath. As I
watched, I was a little distracted.
After a while, he handed me the towel. “Go and wash it.”
“Oh.”
I am like a daughter-in-law who works hard without complaint. The
towel was washed, but he didn’t pick it up. “Back.”
I understood and scrubbed him carefully with a towel. The skin under the
hands is smooth and flexible, which is very different from the delicate and soft skin of girls.
Xiao Huai did not speak until I wiped his waist and suddenly pressed my
hand.
“Ready?” I asked.
He glanced at me without any sign.
“Do you want to wipe the bottom too?” I was stunned after asking.
Xiao Huai also froze for a moment, looking down at me with complicated eyes. It’s
over. It’s over.
I regretted in my heart. How could I molest a man who had a girlfriend? He must have misunderstood me again
.
“Why don’t you find a nurse?” After tidying up, I seriously propose.
Hsiao Huai frowned. “Do you think I’m in trouble?”
“Maybe we should wait for Chen Chi to come and do something like this in the future.” I said, “After all
, she’s your girlfriend.”
Xiao Huai: “She is not my girlfriend.”
They’ve all slept together and they’re not girlfriends.
Xiao Huai, when did you become so bad.
I told Jiajia that I ran into Chen Qi taking a bath at Xiao Huai’s house that day.
She was so angry that she grinned her teeth. “You’re not still dead set on him at this point, are you?”
I rubbed my face. “I gave up. I said I would leave here and go back to Nancheng.”. But
didn’t Xiao Huai have a car accident? My mother asked me to take care of him for a while. “Wait a minute. I remember I have a brother who seems to work in a city. Let me ask.”
Chia-chia said generously, “Let me introduce my brother to you!”! He is very handsome.
“When did you get a brother?”
“Cousin, cousin, I’ll ask him to add your WeChat.”
A few minutes later, someone named JL sent a friend request. After
that, we didn’t speak.
Maybe he’s not interested in me, but it’s hard to refuse.
I didn’t feel relieved and soon forgot about it. It will take
about a week for Xiao Huai
to be discharged from the hospital after a review of the fracture without displacement. During
this period, Chen Qi would come to see him every day.
She would bring fruit and food to Xiao Huai, which saved me a lot of trouble.
Xiao Huai is very polite to her, in fact, he is very polite to everyone, but to me without false words
.
Chen Qi asked me with concern if I needed to go home and rest, and she could take care of
me here.
“Is that okay?” I really didn’t sleep very well in the hospital. Xiao Huai sometimes had to get up
at night and sometimes had to drink water. I had to wake up twice a night. She smiled sweetly. “Of course.” Xiao Huai’s eyes on the
bed swept over heavily.
I picked up my bag. “Then I’ll come back in the evening.” Before I
left, I saw Xiao Huai’s thin lips tight, which was a sign of his anger. When he was a
freshman, he had a very serious cold. He had a high fever all the time, and he didn
‘t want to go to the hospital. I couldn’t carry him on my back, so I could only stay up all night in the rental house
, trying my best to cool him down until his eyes were red.
Two people alone in the field to go to school, no relatives, that night I really feel very
helpless.
Fortunately, the next day his fever subsided a lot, and he woke up and opened his eyes to look at
me silently.
I couldn’t help crying all night and asked him if he was hungry
and what he wanted to eat.
During that time, the flu was rampant. Xiao Huai asked me if I was not afraid of being infected? “I’d rather be the one who’s sick,”
I said lovingly.
Xiao Huai was silent.
If it was me at that time, I would not trust Xiao Huai, who was injured in a car accident, to another
girl.
“Be careful.”
Immersed in memories, I didn’t notice that I almost bumped into someone in the hospital corridor. The man
‘s index finger was on my forehead to prevent me from bumping into him. There was not much blame
in his tone.
I looked up a little blindfolded and found that it was a very young doctor, very tall,
at least a head taller than me, wearing a white coat, with excellent eyebrows, eyes and nose.
He smiled at me, took another look at the ward behind me, and left over me. An idea suddenly occurred to
me.
It turns out that other boys can be so handsome.
In the evening, when I went to the hospital by car, Jiajia suddenly sent me a message saying that her cousin had
gone to see me and thought I was cute.
I When?
Jiajia: Wait for him to tell you. He won’t let me.
So I went into Xiao Huai’s ward full of doubts. Sitting on the
hospital bed was a man with a gauze wrapped around his forehead. Seeing me, he smiled brightly and said, “Yao
Kui is here.” Xiao Huai said, “This is Chen Qi’s elder brother, Chen Wu.”
“Ha ha ha, you may not know me yet, but I have known you for a long time.” Chen Wu
stood up and greeted me.
Hsiao Huai’s face is expressionless. “On the day of the accident, he was sitting in the passenger seat.”
“How dare you mention it? It’s not your pot yet.” Chen Wu slapped Xiao Huai on his leg, which was wrapped in
plaster. He looked up at me and said, “You don’t even know..”
“All right, you can go back.”
“If you don’t want me to tell you, then I’m really leaving.” Chen Wu reluctantly went out
.
I took out the change of clothes I had picked up for him at Hsiao Huai’s house. What happened that night
? How could there be an accident?
He didn’t answer.
Xiao Huai is a neat freak, and not washing his hair for two days is the limit. I went to the bathroom to get a basin of water for
his dry cleaning, and massaged his scalp carefully in the abundant foam. Xiao Huai closed his eyes, and
his facial features were so handsome that people were moved. There is a touch of warmth flowing in the
air, only at this time will I feel that perhaps
he also has feelings for me.
This feeling contains habit and trust, but unfortunately I don’t like it as much as I want. After blowing my hair, I couldn’t help touching it. His hair was very good, black and shiny, so supple
that I, a girl, envied him.
Xiao Huai took my wrist and held my right hand in the palm of his hand.
I have a small skeleton and look thin, but in fact I hide meat. Jiajia always loves to hug me and say that I am soft
and comfortable to hold.
I don’t know if it’s because of this, Xiao Huai likes to pinch my palm, often
casually holding my hand to play with rubbing, but the palm is my sensitive part, every time I don’t
touch a few times, it makes my ears hot, my body temperature rises uncontrollably, and my mind is distracted.
I don’t know if he realized this. In the past, I liked him. Although it was very uncomfortable
, I put up with it every time, and even had some sweetness in my arms.
But this time, I pulled my hand back.
Xiao Huai’s palm was empty, and he looked up at me, his eyes a little dark.
You see, it’s not so hard not to like him.
……
The next morning, when the chief physician brought several doctors to make rounds, I saw
the handsome doctor again yesterday.
He stood behind the director and smiled when he saw me.
Routine asked about the physical condition, the director nodded, said that the recovery was good, and told
some matters needing attention to take a group of people away. The doctor came last, glancing at Xiao Huai’s medical record. “The day after tomorrow?”
I said “hmm”.
“So soon.” He said something vaguely, but I didn’t quite catch it. The
doctor’s eyes flashed around my face and he smiled. “Hello, Yao Kui. I’m Chiang Lin
.”
Then he went out.
I suddenly realized something.
Jiang Lin? JL？ “Who is he?” Asked
Xiao Huai.
I said in a daze, “It seems that Chia-chia introduced me to someone.” On the day
Xiao Huai was discharged from the hospital, Chen Qi also came.
I was busy before and after leaving the hospital, where she accompanied Xiao Huai to whisper, two people are
very close, Chen Qi also put his hand on his arm.
I sighed.
This is the sadness of licking dogs. They’re in a relationship, and I’m trying to figure out how to pay my medical bills. In the
confusion, I lost Xiao Huai’s medical insurance card. I was in a hurry. Fortunately, I ran into Jiang
Lin. He accompanied me to look for it all the way. Finally, he found that the nurse had picked it up and put it at the front desk. He saw
me in a daze and personally sent me to the discharge window for settlement.
Then he looked at my bags of things and asked me if I needed help.
I’m a little embarrassed. “Will it take your time?”
He curled his lips and said in a pleasant voice, “If it were you, it wouldn’t be.”
Even deliberately flirting with me is so cute.
Jiang Lin helped me carry my luggage to the underground garage of the hospital, and helped Xiao Huai, who had difficulty in moving,
into the car. After doing this, he looked at the other two people and turned his eyes to me.
“Then I’ll go back first. If there are any problems with the follow-up recovery, you can contact me.” If you have any
questions, you can come to me.
I nodded, filled with gratitude. “Thank you, Dr. Chiang.”
He smiled and waved at me.
From beginning to end, Xiao Huai did not speak. Smiling,
Chen Chi asked me, “Boyfriend?”
I opened the car door and was silent for a while. “Not yet.”
Xiao Huai and I are neighbors. Not only when I was a kid, but now.
In order to be closer to him, I just graduated and lived frugally in the city center 20
miles away from the company. I paid the rent which took up half of my salary every month. Every day
, I had to think about how to save money for tomorrow’s meals. It was not
until later that I got more income from writing articles. It’s convenient to take care of him
now.
Xiao Huai’s words today are particularly few, even Chen Qi in the car to chat with him he did not have much interest
, but his cold and indifferent appearance I have long been used to, did not care too much.
His bone injury is not serious, and he can wash on his own, but he still has to
minimize his activities.
Mom asked me to watch him in the video, and don’t let him fall down at home alone.
I moved my notebook to his home, which has
been seriously condemned by a large number of readers these days in order to take care of his update volume. Can
I say it’s to take care of my crush? The one with a girlfriend, although he didn’t admit
that it was his girlfriend.
They must think I’m a mistress.
Jiang Lin would chat with me on the grounds of caring for the patient, and I would also use the excuse of asking about the patient’s condition to chat with
him. We had a tacit understanding. After a
long time, I really want to go to him for a physical examination. Unfortunately, he’s not a gynecologist, and I have to break my bones to see him.
Interestingly, after recovering from concussion, Chen Wu often came over to discuss with Xiao Huai with his fashion design
drafts and finished products.
Originally, they wanted to open an online shop featuring original design. In the initial stage, they turned Xiao Huai
‘s home into a studio, and Chen Qi was their model.
“In fact, there is a ready-made model here. My sister’s style is too monotonous, and
some styles are not suitable for her.” Chen Wu touched his chin and looked at me.
Xiao Huai closed his eyes and did not look at me. “She can’t do it.”
Chen Wu spread out his hands to me helplessly.
I bent my lips and did not speak. I don
‘t fall into self-doubt
as I used to because of his casual comments.
At night, I was sitting on the balcony, and my mother was talking to me on the video phone. As
we chatted, she suddenly mentioned Xiao Huai to me. Her tone was very euphemistic. “You can’t force things
about feelings. After so many years, we’ve been together long ago..”
I said, “Mom, I understand. I don’t seem to like him that much.”
My mother froze for a moment. This is the first time I said this sentence so calmly. In the past, when I was most sad and tough
, I just cried with red eyes: Xiao Huai, do you really think I will die
if I leave you? Don’t worry, I will never beat you again.
And never said, I don’t like him anymore.
Mom nodded and said nothing.
Hang up the video and I turn around.
Xiao Huai stood behind me and looked at me with an expressionless face.
Two weeks later, Jiang Lin is finally going to date me. On the day of the
meeting, I wore a dress that I thought was very beautiful. I still feel a little unaccustomed to seeing Jiang Lin outside the
hospital.
He took off his white coat and wore a casual shirt. His waist was narrow and his legs were long. His temperament
was clean. A breath of young talent came to his face. I didn’t know Jiajia had
such a handsome cousin.
He looked at me for a moment. “Very different from the usual style.”
I was a little nervous. “I rarely wear skirts.”
“Well, if you look so good, you should wear less.” I stared up at him.
He raised his lips and his eyes were gentle.
I suddenly relaxed. For the
rest of the day, I finally realized the feeling of being taken care of
by my boyfriend as a girl.
Jiang Lin seemed to be particularly patient with girls. It was too hot at noon. Because I casually said I wanted to
drink a peach Frappuccino, he asked me to wait in my seat and wait in line for more than ten
minutes to go to Starbucks. When
I praised him with Jiajia at the WeChat, Jiajia looked incredulous, saying that every time
she said she wanted to drink milk tea just for dessert, Jiang Lin would only tell her that the sugar content was so high that it was
easy to rot her face if she ate too much, let alone buy it for her personally.
“He hasn’t even bought me a lollipop in my life.” Chia-chia was indignant.
“Oh, you can ask him later what to do if you get acne after drinking milk tea.”
When Jiang Lin came back, I relayed the question in detail.
Chiang Lin handed me the Frappuccino and sat down on the chair opposite. “You have normal skin,” he said
calmly. “Generally speaking, you don’t get acne easily. Even if it grows, it doesn’t matter.
I know something about dermatology.
I said sincerely, “You are so awesome.”
He curved his lips slightly. Jiang Lin’s smile is sunny and clear.
Most importantly, he had me in his eyes.
Unlike Xiao Huai, who is always cold, I need to carefully cater to his preferences and ideas
, hang my heart in the air, and rise and fall with his emotions.
Sometimes as we chatted, I would apologize for wasting Chiang Lin’s time. “The doctors must
be very busy.”
“Yes, very busy.” He said, “That’s why I want to talk to you.” We haven’t seen each other for four or five days
since our last date. As soon as
I thought about it, he sent me a message: Would you like to come out to watch a movie tonight?
It turned out that a relationship in which both sides had a good impression on each other was like this. It was no longer just a sour compromise
. When I was still afraid to test it, I found that he was also trying to get close
to me. The
movie ended very late, and Jiang Lin sent me home.
The car stopped outside the community, and when he got off, he naturally held my hand, which made my heart beat a little
faster.
And then I was stunned.
“Which building do you live in?” He asked.
“Building 27.” I said, “It’s about a minute or two away.” He nodded. “Then I’ll send you downstairs.”
I looked at the time, more than 11:30, Xiao Huai should have gone to bed. He just removed the cast
two days ago, and there was no big problem with his basic movements, so he no longer needed
me to take care of him all the time.
In order to get along with Jiang Lin for a while, I specially took him around the community.
I don’t know if he saw it, but I felt a little guilty.
What goes around comes around. Five minutes later, we stopped at the door of my apartment
building.
“Good night.” I am reluctant to leave.
“Yao Kun.” He stopped me, then drew closer, put his hand on my waist and kissed
me. When
he released me, I gasped and almost collapsed in his arms,
relying on the support of his arms to keep from falling to the ground.
His voice was a little hoarse. “Xiaomin, you are too sensitive.”
This is so embarrassing. My whole face is fever.
It happened that the coccyx was still numbing desperately.
Obviously is a small color embryo, but has not been in love since birth.
Jiang Lin whispered in my ear, “If you do this, I’ll want to kiss you again.” I buried my face in his shoulder and pretended not to understand what he was saying.
Suddenly, I heard a familiar male voice behind me, “Yao Kun.” Startled,
I slowly turned around. It was Xiao Huai. Why is he still outside
so late? Half of
Xiao Huai’s face was hidden in the darkness, and his expression was not clear.
I was a little embarrassed, but I didn’t let go of Chiang Lin’s hand. I looked at him for a moment, and then
I said softly, “Be careful on the way.”
Jiang Lin nodded, glanced at Xiao Huai again, and left over his side. Without speaking,
I swiped my card to open the door of the unit building and went in.
Xiao Huai followed me into the elevator.
Being caught at the scene of the first kiss, even strangers will be a little embarrassed, not to mention Xiao Huai, who grew up
with me, I suddenly do not know how to face him.
“Kissing a man I’ve only met a few times.” When I got out of the elevator, Hsiao Huai
said sarcastically behind my back, “Yao, why didn’t I know you could be so casual
before?”
Casual? Who is he to say that. There was a sudden surge of anger in
my heart.
“Xiao Huai, I’m an adult now.” I turned around and tried to speak to him in a calm tone
. “It’s normal to fall in love, not to mention that we’re just..” A kiss
.
“If you can kiss you after only knowing each other for a few days, isn’t it time for you to go to bed
soon?”
“So what if we go to bed?” I said angrily, “I may not be a
girl in your eyes, but I am in his eyes!” With a
bang, Xiao Huai punched the wall behind me. This is the first time
I’ve seen him so angry. His eyes, which
had always been indifferent, were bloodshot, staring at me, and his thin lips were white.
Xiao Huai, what are you angry about. For
the next two days, Xiao Huai stayed behind closed doors.
Even Chen Wu was rejected by him.
Xiao Huai’s mother came to ask me about him again. I gave
her Chen Qi’s mobile phone number and said that this was your son’s girlfriend. Half an hour later, the door rang. I opened the door and saw Xiao Huai with a gloomy face. Holding up his cell
phone, he asked me, “Why did you give my mother Chen Qi’s phone number?” “I just told her to find the right person,” I
said calmly.
Xiao Huai’s throat moved.
…… After
that night, Jiang Lin asked me if Xiao Huai had done anything to me after he left.
I said, “He won’t do anything. He’s just a little worried about me. After all, we grew
up together. We’re half sisters.”
Chiang Lin asked, “Do you really believe that he only treats you as his sister?”
I was silent.
But if not, then what are my years?
“I don’t trust you living so close to him.” Chiang Lin comes straight to the point: “Next door to my house
is my friend’s house, which has been vacant for a long time. I’ve been looking for a tenant.”
He said, “The rent will be much cheaper than what you live in now. If you can,
would you like to consider it?”
A year ago, another girl was pursuing Xiao Huai. When she learned where he lived,
she tried her best to grab the house opposite his house from me. At that time, the contract had not been
signed. For Xiao Huai, I gritted my teeth and agreed to the landlord’s request for a 20% price increase. Later, the girl has been a thief heart, and harassed me several times, but also ridiculed that
Xiao Huai would not like me anyway, let me not be a dog in the manger.
I thought about it and sent a message: Do you still want the house? I’m going to sublet.
The other one was surprised: “Really?”? You said you were going to die in that house
.
No wonder she was surprised. At that time, I was so poor that I didn’t even have the money to change my underwear, and I didn’t
want to change a cheaper house. “Really, this house is small and
expensive, and I want to change my environment,”
I replied by voice while tapping on the computer.
The other one hesitated for a long time before saying, “Don’t regret it!”
“But I want to make it clear to you that Xiao Huai already has a girlfriend, and if
you move here for him, there may be no point.”
“Who says I want to live by myself?” She smiled. “I know the girl
friend of Xiao Huai you mentioned.”
I froze for a moment and then realized something.
Does Chen Qi want to move here?
The next day, Xiao Huai knocked on my door again.
I have to say, lately he’s been looking for me more often than he used to in a whole month. When the door opened, he looked dark, as if he wanted to say something, but then he saw my packed luggage in
the room and paused. “Are you moving out?”
I said “hmm”.
Xiao Huai did not speak for a long time, I turned around, want to go back to continue to pack things, the next moment
, my hand was clenched.
“Who are you moving to?” His voice was low. “Jiang Lin?”
I took a deep breath. “It’s none of your business.”
Xiao Huai almost crushed my wrist, and his voice was so cold that he said, “Yao, do you know
what it means to live with a man?”
I frowned in pain. “I’m twenty-four years old. I can be responsible for myself.”
He took a step forward. “So where have you come to?”
I pursed my lips and did not speak.
“What do you like about him?” Hsiao Huai, however, seemed even angrier. He approached me, and his tone
was almost sarcastic. “Just because he would put his hands on you?”.
I had to step back, my face red with shame.
Suddenly I remembered that year, when I had a sour secret love, I didn’t know
whether I should confess to him or not. I finally accumulated a little courage, but I witnessed Xiao Huai, who was clean in my heart and no one cared about him. He bowed his head
and kissed a girl under the sycamore tree outside the school.
At that moment, my world collapsed.
He put his hand on the girl’s shoulder, closed his eyes, and looked undisciplined but gentle. For the first time,
I tasted an emotion called jealousy, and for the first time, I felt ashamed
of myself.
He didn’t like the girl very much, but more likely he was just curious about the love between men and women
during the rebellious period, but that scene made me understand that he could never treat me like that. I’m not even a woman
in his eyes.
In that case, why should he be angry because another man kissed me?
I looked up at him and said, “Yes, I like him, and I would like to kiss him.” In the
hot summer, I wore a wide T-shirt and a pair of gray shorts,
which were covered by the hem of the T-shirt.
Xiao Huai grabbed my shoulder and slid his palm against my back into his clothes, causing a
shudder.
I am a very sensitive person, even pinching the palm will make me blush and heartbeat, and now breathing
is stopped.
He put his hand on the button of my underwear, looked me in the eye and said, “Yao, is this what
you want?” I couldn’t believe it and pushed him away. “Xiao Huai, you’re crazy.”
Xiao Huai looked at me in silence, and his eyes turned gray little by little.
……
Things were packed up, and on the day of moving, Jiang Lin also came to help me.
Seeing him pick up my high school photos for study, I quickly hid them.
“I’ve seen your pictures from junior high school.” He curled his lips and said, “Well, short hair is very handsome
.”
“Nonsense, would you still like me if I did that?”
He hesitated for a moment. “It’s good that the gender doesn’t change.”
「……」
My luggage was emptied by the movers one after another, and I finally looked around the empty room
. I came to this city for Xiao Huai
at the beginning, and now I stay for Jiang Lin.
Just as we were about to leave, Xiao Huai’s door opened.
His eyes were green, as if he hadn’t had a good rest all night, and he slowly read out my name,
“Yao Kuan.” He paid no attention to Chiang Lin, who was behind me. He put his hand on my wrist and said, “Don’t move, okay
?”
It’s a rare grovelling.
I can’t describe my feelings.
Sitting in Jiang Lin’s car, he saw that I was in a bad mood, and he did not speak thoughtfully.
Xiao Huai’s sudden change did not shake me.
I just don’t get it. Why
on earth can he talk about love with other girls while asking me to accompany him as before
. What am I
in his heart.
Moving in next door to Jiang Lin, we were busy putting things in order for most of the day, and we were so tired that we collapsed
on the sofa.
“Are you hungry?” I asked.
He gave a “hum”.
“Order takeout?” I’m so tired that I don’t want to move my fingers. He looked at me with a smile, pulled me up from the sofa, took me into his house and cooked a bowl of spaghetti
for me to eat.
“From now on, we are neighbors.” “It’s much easier
to do whatever you want,” he said.
I pretended not to understand. “What are we going to do?”
Jiang Lin looked at me, smiling and silent. I began to think about some messy things in my
mind, and quickly stopped eating noodles.
A few days later, Jiajia asked me on the phone whether her cousin was good to me and whether he bullied
me.
I said how could it be? Jiang Lin is a good man.
Jiajia said angrily that he had talked about two girlfriends before, both of whom had been together for less than a
year. They were full of complaints, saying that his mind was not on them at all. This
person looked easy to get along with, but in fact he was the most impersonal.
Even when he found one of them cheating, Jiang Lin was very calm.
He doesn’t believe in feelings at all.
Jiajia said that she was relieved to see that I really put down Xiao Huai. She introduced Jiang Lin to me just
to divert my attention, but she didn’t think that we would really be together. How many of
Jiang Lin really like me, how many simply feel the need for a girlfriend,
or help Jiajia take care of me. I don’t really mind.
I just want to have a normal relationship.
I put my enthusiasm for Xiao Huai on him, carefully observed his tastes and preferences,
pinched his off-duty points, and cooked a table of his favorite dishes.
Jiang Lin returned home, saw the food for a while, then washed his hands and sat down to eat
in silence.
I was a little confused. “Is it not delicious?”? What do you think is wrong? I’ll improve
it next time.
Chiang Lin shakes his head. “I haven’t had a dish like this for a long time.”
He is very gentle and takes care of my mood.
But I always felt something was wrong. After being
with me, Jiang Lin left all his leisure time to me.
He will accompany me to watch movies, play games, go to night markets, or take me to the gym for a long time because of lack of exercise and physical
weakness, and act as my free personal trainer.
I could feel that he was taking the relationship as seriously as I was.
But between us, it’s always like there’s a layer.
I don’t understand the crux.
Finally, one day, I learned that he stayed out all night and didn’t come back until six o’clock in the morning. In order to catch up with the update, I dragged my tired body and cooked a bowl of steaming dumplings for him.
“Why did you just reply to my message?” I couldn’t help yawning. “Why didn’t you come back last night?”
He looked at the dumpling and didn’t answer me.
I thought he didn’t want to say, so I didn’t continue to ask, pulled out the chair and sat down, propped up my heavy head to accompany him to finish eating.
“Are you so kind to him?” Jiang Lin asked in a low tone.
I was stunned.
“I don’t reply to your message, I don’t go home, but I don’t complain at all, and I’m worried that I didn’t eat breakfast.” He said, “Just thinking that that person has been treated like this, it seems that my chest is blocked by something.”
I and Xiao Huai’s matter, Jiang Lin has heard several times from Jia Jia’s mouth, at that time only thought funny, where can have such silly girl.
Take the relationship seriously to the point of making people sigh.
At that time, it was just a pity, but now it is a little jealous.
Chiang Lin looked into my eyes and said, “Last night there was an emergency room, and five fingers of a patient were severely injured by a machine. We spent six hours operating on him, and then we were busy communicating with the family, so we didn’t have time to get back to you.” He was explaining to me.
I nodded and tried to say something, but I didn’t.
“My capacity seems to be getting smaller.” He tugged at the corners of his mouth and laughed at himself. “He even
began to unconsciously compare whether I could win Xiao Huai in your heart.”
“But I really like you.” I tried to organize my words. “I feel
happy when I see you. I wait for you to come home every day. In order to stay with you a little longer, I even want to abandon
my moral integrity and live with you.” After
the last sentence, I regretted it and stood up from my chair.
In order to show his loyalty to Jiang Lin, he accidentally exposed the essence of his color embryo.
“Really?” He held my hand and smiled, not letting me be a coward.
“Do you want to live with me?”
「…… Do you want to live together?
He put his arms around my waist.
“Yes.”
Alas, I have to move again. During
the Dragon Boat Festival holiday, I took Jiang Lin back to my hometown.
My mother was very happy. After all, Jiang Lin was also a talented person. When she first came to the door, she sensibly brought my father a few bottles of good wine, gave my mother a jade bracelet worth at least ten thousand yuan, and a jade Buddha with good water.
He did not say the price, I was too expensive to accept, but my mother loved it, and even looked at Jiang Lin’s eyes are very kind.
Jiang Lin always keeps a smile, and the family atmosphere is harmonious.
I had to swallow the words back.
To my surprise, Xiao Huai also came back.
He was still following Chen Wu. I paid attention to him, but I didn’t see Chen Qi get out of his car.
Bringing a big man home to come out of the closet?
Xiao Huai has a cold temper, even in front of the elders, I do not know if it is my illusion, he seems to have something on his mind, this time home is more silent than before.
Fortunately, Chen Wu was very good at taking over the interrogation of the elders for him, and a few words made them laugh. The relationship between our
two families has always been very good. This time, the two children came back from other places together, so they set up a table in my house, which was cooked by Xiao’s father and my mother.
I went to the kitchen to join in the fun for a while, and was driven out by my mother, so I could only lean on Jiang Lin for comfort. Jiang Lin fed me a piece of orange in a funny way.
I peeled another one for him and gave him half of it. The
dishes were brought to the table one after another, and everyone was there. Jiang Lin wiped
my sticky palms with wet paper towels, and my fingers wiped them one by one. I felt strange, and my ears were a
little hot.
Jiang Lin noticed that I was strange, and after wiping, he did not let go. Instead, he held my hand
and kneaded it. His fingertips passed over my palm, as if a feather had scratched
the tip of my heart. My whole face was hot and dry, and I hurriedly lowered my head.
Jiang Lin casually bent his lips, but his eyes were staring at me all the time, and his eyes showed pleasure. At the
dinner table, Xiao Huai suddenly left the table, his face livid.
“Eh?”? What happened to Huai? My mother carries the soup and doesn’t know why.
In the evening, when Jiang Lin and I came back from a walk, my mother said that Xiao Huai was waiting for me in the living room.
He got up from the sofa, looked at me and said, “Go to your room and talk.”
I didn’t move. “Just say it here.”
Xiao Huai pursed his lips.
My mother greets Chiang Lin, “Let them say that Chiang will come to the kitchen and help me wash the grapes
.”
Jiang Lin agreed gently. When he and I were left alone in the living room, Hsiao Huai said, “Chen Chi is not my girlfriend.”
I nodded. “I know. You said that.”
“I didn’t have sex with her either.” He twisted his eyebrows. “Are you angry with me because you misunderstood
that?”
“I’m not angry with you.” Even I was surprised by my calmness. “I just
realized that with or without Chen Chi, you wouldn’t choose me.”
“It took me so long to realize the reality.” I said softly, “You’ve been pestering you for so
many years, and you should be very distressed. I never dare to say it explicitly, for fear that you will refuse.”. But
Hsiao Huai, don’t worry, it won’t happen again.
Xiao Huai turned pale. When I went back to my room
at night, I found a hairpin in the drawer.
Black, very simple style. On my birthday when I was
seventeen years old, I saw Xiao Huai coming out of the jewelry store with a
hairpin in his hand, lavender, inlaid with pearls.
The next day, the hairpin appeared on another girl’s head.
It wasn’t so long ago that I caught them kissing. I haven’t worn a hairpin
since.
The three-day holiday was coming to an end. Before returning, Chen Wu asked me if I could go out and have a chat. He had something to say to me. In the
milk tea shop, he was explaining to Xiao Huai: You may have misunderstood. The shop was too busy at that time, and I lived and ate at his house. I should have been sleeping in his bedroom while my sister was in the shower.
“With me, nothing can happen to them.”
“That night we drank celebratory wine. Maybe I drank too much and vomited on her. She was so drunk that she didn’t notice. She woke up in the daytime and couldn’t stand it.”
“Hsiao Huai likes you, otherwise he wouldn’t have gone all these years without a girlfriend.” Chen Wu says, “a man who likes a woman has an exclusive desire. He won’t let you be a model, he won’t let you wear those clothes, and he doesn’t like the way other men look at you.”
“My sister also likes Xiao Huai, but I know very well that even if Xiao Huai is not with you, he will always have your shadow in his heart.” Chen Wu touched the cup. “I don’t want my sister to live in your shadow.”
I was silent for a long time.
“You say Xiao Huai likes me, but he never cares about my feelings.” I said, “Whether I’m sad or sad, he’s just waiting for me to digest it silently and heal myself before standing in front of him again.”. But if a person has been mistreated too much emotionally, I will lure him away if someone else gives me a little bit of sweetness.
“I know it’s spineless.” I said, “Having seen tenderness, I don’t want to go back.” Out of the milk tea shop, I saw Xiao Huai.
He looked at me quietly, and there was no emotion on his face.
Xiao Huai has always been a rational and self-aware person.
He never tried to pursue anything, his studies, his career, his resources, all of
which were natural and easy for him to get.
I thought that after that day, Xiao Huai would no longer pay attention to me.
He has always been proud.
So when I received a phone call from Chen Wu that day, I was actually a little surprised. He said that Xiao Huai was not in good condition after he came back from Nancheng
. He was ill for two days somehow. He didn’t eat or drink. He suddenly got up at
night and wanted to try to cook a bowl of seafood porridge by himself. As a result, he was scalded
by boiling water and the material was scattered all over the floor.
Chen Wu said Xiao Huai stood in the kitchen for a long time that night.
I know what Chen Wu means. He wants to tell me how much Xiao Huai cares about me from the bottom of his heart. I have been cared for by
a girl for ten years. Even if I don’t like her enough, I always have some
feelings.
He just needs to adjust to life without me.
It didn’t stay on my mind for long, and I soon turned my attention back to my own life.
Jiang Lin let me know, the original do not have to try to please can also be liked, the original person cares about you, will be more afraid of letting you be wronged than yourself.
It turns out that all my forbearance and reluctance can be found so easily. We took a walk by the river
that day. It was cloudy and the temperature was very low. The wind was so strong that my hair was in a mess. Jiang Lin caught a cold, I was afraid he was cold, let him to the outside, but also took down the shawl to give him around.
Jiang Lin took my hand and said, “Xiaoman, you seem to be very used to taking care of others.”
He put on my shawl again, let down my hair and tied it up. “You’re just a little girl in her early twenties. At least you don’t have to do that in front of me.”
Several college classmates who had a good time contacted me and wanted to get together. When I got to the place, I saw Xiao Huai. In the noisy KTV, he sat alone in the corner drinking. When he heard me coming, he just looked up.
It is reasonable to say that his character is generally not interested in attending such a party, and there is no special friend of his present.
Two female classmates did not know that I was talking about a partner. They pushed me to his side with a smile. I was squeezed and accidentally sat on his lap. Xiao Huai held my waist.
I quickly stood up and said that I already had a boyfriend and would come to pick me up later. Several people were stunned for a moment, and even the singing was still.
Xiao Huai hung his head and could not see his expression clearly. We didn’t communicate
after that.
Towards the end, I went to the bathroom, and he stood at the door of the box and
held my hand as I was about to push the door in.
“How long are you going to be angry?” His voice was so soft that I couldn’t tell if he was drunk or
not. “When will he move back?”
I did not speak and broke away from his hand.
Later, I learned that Chen Qi did not move in after I left, and Xiao Huai bought
the house. When
Jiang came to pick me up, he saw Xiao Huai among several people, and his expression was obviously tight.
But he didn’t show anything. He took my shoulder calmly and accepted the teasing and looking of my
two female classmates with a smile.
“Now I believe you really have a boyfriend.” My lower bunk whispered in my ear
, “Is Xiao Huai regretting it?”
On the bus, I weakly explained to Jiang Lin that I really didn’t know Xiao Huai was there, and no one
told me.
Jiang Lin gave a “hum”. When I got home, I took his hand again and repeated it.
“Have you been drinking?” Jiang Lin asked.
I shook my head.
He took off his coat and bowed his head and kissed me.
Jiang is usually a very gentle person, and I have hardly seen him get angry.
But when I kiss, I like to bite people. The first time I was bitten out of the blue, I couldn’t help
hissing. I opened my eyes and wanted to ask him why, but he attacked
fiercely and quietly.
Later, I slowly realized that he seemed to be like this only when
he was very happy or very angry.
So what kind is it?
Late at night, I received a phone call from Xiao Huai.
“Chen Chi said you liked me and asked me if I wanted to be with you. At that time I just felt
uncomfortable.” He has a difficult voice. “Growing up, they all said you were my sister.
I’m used to this kind of relationship between us, and I haven’t thought about changing it.”
“So now you’re someone else’s girlfriend.”
…… Chen Wu later told me the cause of the
accident. That day I told Xiao Huai that I would not continue to pester him and would try to be with other boys
.
At that time, Xiao Huai’s reaction was very cold and indifferent.
I was sad to go to a bar with a few friends. After
drinking, one of my male friends sent me home.
I was a good drinker and looked sober, but in the middle of the way to the parking lot, I suddenly
felt so wronged that I squatted on the ground and cried regardless of my image. Embarrassed and helpless,
my friend saw me crying out of breath and hugged me
out of sympathy.
Xiao Huai called me and couldn’t get through. He went to ask Jia Jia. Jia Jia was afraid that something would happen to me, so he gave
him the position. I just
happened to bump into this scene.
Xiao Huai line of sight condensation, did not notice the front to turn, a head hit the roadside of another
parked car, co-driver Chen Wu also suffered.
If I had known this earlier, maybe I wouldn’t have been so frustrated.
But it was too late.
(End of full text)
